"Kissing versus bacon? Honestly, I don't know which I'd choose." - Optimistic.
Question #89943 posted on 06/22/2017 10:50 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

We here at the Board are proud to announce the second season of The Board Bachelorette! Details will follow below, but get ready to woo that lovely and talented writer that you've had your (virtual) eye on!

XOXO,
The Bachelorette

A:

Dear Stunningly Gorgeous,

WELCOME to the second season of The Board Bachelorette, and your second chance to win a date with that elusively fabulous writer of your choice!

In this new and exciting season, we will largely follow the same structure as last year, with a couple of notable differences. Our lovely Bachelorette is very busy this summer, so I shall be the one to act as your host and announcer. Additionally, as we are starting later in the summer than last year, we will have 4 challenges as opposed to 6.

Structure

As with last year, bear in mind this contest will have very little resemblance with the popular T.V. show. No contestants will be eliminated throughout any of the rounds. Instead of competing for the favor of just one writer, the winner(s) will have their pick of consenting writers (conveniently found below) to go on a date with.

You will be presented with 4 challenges in which to prove your undying devotion and get your writer swooning over you. The first challenge will post on Sunday July 2, along with details of how to submit your scintillating responses. A challenge will post every subsequent Sunday, with the final challenge appearing on Sunday July 23. The winner(s) will then be announced on Friday August 4

All readers will have the amazing opportunity to help pick out a winner by voting for the most witty and charming submissions through those wonderful green thumbs found at the bottom of every answer here on the Board (you're more than welcome to practice using those green thumbs on all the writers' current answers in the meantime) . The contestant with the most reader votes will then win that dreamy date. In addition to an illustrious winner selected by the readers, the writers will vote on our favorite contestant, who will then also become a winner. Note that the writer favorite could coincide with the reader favorite, resulting in one winner.

Rules

We are centered in Provo, Utah, so all contestants must be Utah residents. Never fear if you are away for the summer, though! As long as you will be back in Utah by Fall semester, you are more than welcome to participate.

This is a BYU affiliated website, so all submissions must be in alignment with BYU standards. Inappropriate responses will not be posted.

So let your anticipation build until July 2, daydreaming of that dreamboat writer.

~Girl with a Curl

A:

Readers,

Girl with a Curl told me I should fill this answer with "tales of how awesomely amazing [I] am". But what are those? 

Instead, I'll entice you using a method from the original show: presentation. 

 medress.jpg

You can tell I'm really great because I like to look good even when I'm casually hanging at the beach. I'm not even modeling and definitely not in an evening gown; this is just candid, natural me waiting to find love. 

I guess that's it for now. Feel free to hit me up with those first impression roses thumbs up. 

Take care,

-Auto Surf

A:

Dear Boardchelorette,

Unlike last season, I've been writing for the Board for a little over a year now, so those of you who are regular readers should have a pretty good idea of what kind of person I am.

For those of you that haven't paid that much attention, I've been described on the Board as responsible, driven, sensitive and considerate, and having a tough outer shell but being a marshmallow on the inside. If those aren't some great selling points, I really don't know what to tell you.

-The Entomophagist

A:

Dear Readers,

Just because I'm in a serious relationship with math doesn't mean I'm not open to more human ones. I've even been known to go as long as five minutes without bringing math into a conversation.

So woo away, dear readers (particularly before I get drawn into the core of ACME and don't emerge from social seclusion in the depths of the Talmage for two years).

~Anathema

A:

Dear any women within the sound of this Board post,

Well first of all, I should say that my mom says that I'm a very nice boy and that whoever marries me will be a very lucky girl. My grandma can confirm this fact.

But if you're looking for some specifics, I'm happy to enumerate some of my more illustrious accomplishments.

1. I've been walking from a very young age. (Some say that I was walking as young as 10 months. Let that sink in ladies)

2. I've never been to prison (like, I've never committed a crime that put me in prison. I also rarely commit crimes. But I've been known to jaywalk a little. So you could say I'm pretty edgy)

3. My love language is memes, so if you're the kind of person who enjoys humor, happiness, and getting sent random funny things constantly, then Sherpa Dave may be for you. (I'll leave a meme at the bottom to prove this/woo you further)

4. Adventures and spontaneity are my life. If you like late night root beer runs, random car trips, singing at the top of your lungs, exploring all the places, looking at the moon, being involved in random things, and loving all the good life things, Sherpa Dave may still be for you.

6. I can count very well and have been known to count to numbers as high as 34 or even 37.

9. I really like dogs. Like a lot. And music. A lot.

Well, without further ado I'll leave you with a meme and some time to think about what your life could be like if you had Sherpa Dave.

 FB_IMG_1489128580149.jpg (source)

Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave

A:

Dear my freshmen roommates loved that show you have no idea what I have suffered the things I have seen the horrors,

Okay, yes, I will participate in this thing! You may be asking yourself, "Why in the world would I want to go on a date with Van Goff?" Well, here are five really cool things about me that might sway your opinion:

  1. I'm a decent mix of geeky and outdoorsy: hiking in the mountains appeals just as equally to me as a LOTR marathon. No matter what you want to do, odds are I'm down.
  2. In seventh grade, I won my school's geography bee and made it all the way to state. To this day, it is my finest accomplishment.
  3. I'm a Hufflepuff: not only are we particularly good finders, but we're also loyal, compassionate, and hardworking.
  4. No matter where I am and what I'm doing, odds are I have chocolate somewhere on hand. As my S.O. you, by extension, would also constantly have chocolate on hand. Usually Kit-Kats. It's not a problem, it's a perk.
  5. I know lots of fun, obscure Van Gogh facts. If that's not attractive to you, then what is your definition of attractive and do you know how wrong it is?
Aware as I am that being a trans guy makes dating complicated at BYU, I'm also down for making friends. So if anyone ever wants to hang out or anything, send an email and we could totally hang out (van.goff@theboard.byu.edu). But dates would be nice, you know?
 
-Van Goff
A:

Dear all,

Yes, I'm single. I'd say I'm pretty cool, but I'll leave that up to you to decide.

-Kirito