Dear 100 Hour Board,
Can you tell me about all the things Millennials have ruined?
Most importantly, brunch. However it also looks like they also ruined everything, and the election.
Here's a little list of what "everything" means, apparently:
Fashion Yeah, cause there's no fashion anymore?
The cereal industry DON'T WORRY CEREAL INDUSTRY I WILL SINGLEHANDEDLY AVENGE YOU
APPARENTLY ALL MEALS
Light yogurt All other yogurts are fine though
Hobbies Yeah because no one enjoys doing anything in their free time
Costco Really puts the Democracy thing in perspective
The American dream That was millennials??
Gen X's retirement savings Probably written by a Gen Xer
Relationships and positive feelings in general I guess
The food industry WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
The Olympics It's over
The NFL HOW
The wine cork industry Oh no whatever shall we do
The oil industry It was millennials
Call center productivity I honestly lose sleep over this one
All of these things are gone kids, millennials killed 'em all. Sorry.
Keep it real,
Can I just say that I hate the word Millennial? Maybe it's just because no one seems to have anything good to say about them, or that the generalizations that "experts" make about them never apply to me, even when they're positive, but hearing someone get up and talk about them (or get on the internet and write about them) always makes me cringe.
But you're a millennial, and you don't ruin things. So your argument is invalid.
However, people are often the worst, and that's indisputable. Some of my favorite people-ruining-things examples are as follows:
- Napoleon thinking he could invade Russia in winter
- The Trojan Horse
- When that one announcer ruined soccer with his announcing, so soccer fans ruined him on Twitter
- I asked a history major if she had any thoughts on the matter, and she told me about the Roman Empire insisting everyone eat off lead dishes and have lead-lined aqueducts, and the whole time that everyone is getting lead poisoning Rome is just like, "Oh man, we're so much more civilized and advanced than all you peasants who don't use lead." Girl please.
- Buzzfeed, I'm pretty sure, might be ruining individuality by trying to mass-produce it.
- Zed posted this on Facebook during alumni week. It is continuously good.
It seems to me as though millennials completely ruin civilizations. I mean, look what a thousand years has done to the Middle East! We should just band together to stop the passage of time, and thereby end millennials for good.
Oh wait, were you referring to the people?