I don't really trust a sane person. -Lyle Alzado
Question #56582 posted on 03/18/2010 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

We all know that there are linguistic loopholes that allow companies to say all kinds of things on their products' containers without technically committing the crime of false advertising, usually by putting the telling asterisk by the offending claim. But I just had a pack of Russell Stover Pecan Delight chocolate and it said on the package "Handcrafted in Small Batches (R)" with no asterisk.
I know they'd like me to picture a kind-faced grandmother pulling each piece of chocolate individually out of the oven, but this is a plastic-wrapped product bought at Walmart which is probably produced on a scale of at least hundreds of thousands per week (if not per day).
So what exactly do they mean by "Handcrafted in Small Batches"?

- bets it means a hand touched the on button of the factory machine and small compared to the number of hair follicles in India

A: Dear Ethel,

The friendly Russell Stover representative I spoke to said that they actually do make their chocolate in smaller batches than other chocolate companies (which doesn't necessarily say much and which is still far from a kindly grandma making each chocolate by hand); she said that they aren't technically "mass-produced" like other chocolates. In addition, she said there is more human interaction between each step—workers check at regular intervals to approve of the quality. She added that this means the chocolate doesn't start in a vat and move from machine to machine to machine until it's spit out on a conveyor belt and packaged.

Love from
Queen Alice