Look out for the future, because you never know what it might bring…
Question #84485 posted on 11/08/2015 4:08 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, I understand that you have been asked the tootsie pop question many times and that there is a FAQ for this question, but I was looking through the answers and they are all different. You have answered as low as an avg of 74 licks, as high as 974, and almost everything in between.

Because of the true lack of consensus concerning this rather dire question I would like to suggest a board ran experiment at your next board meeting, or whenever you can get the most of you together, where you try to objectively answer the question through MASS experimentation. I would try to answer the question myself, but do not have the man, or tongue, power to do so. The more tootsie roll pops you consume the better and if you need participants and/or funding email me at [email has been removed] and I may be able to help you.

So, once and for all, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

-Joe the hobo

A:

Dear Doctor,

We're on the internet, so you can trust us. Setting up a party wasn't tons of fuss. We got some suckers and watched The Lego Movie. All in all, it was rather groovy. We got some data, a good amount: an average of 298 was the final count. Auto Surf had the most, Vienna had the least: the rest were in the middle of our Tootsie-Pop feast. 

(Side is licking from the ridged edge, Center is licking from the shortest edge of the sucker, and Top is...well, licking from the top.)

Writer Stats:

  Average # of Licks # of Data Points
Zedability 356.5 10
Mr. Z 263 5
Tally M. 197.2 10
Auto Surf 365.25 4
Vienna 149 1
Ardilla Feroz 348.25 4
M.O.D.A.Q. 277 2
Frere Rubik 302 2

General Stats:

  Average # of Licks # of Data Points
Center 300.26 18
Side 248.62 12
Top 346 5
Total Average 298.29 35


Center:

 Center BoxPlot.png

Sample size: 18
Median: 276
Minimum: 149
Maximum: 742
First quartile: 217
Third quartile: 347
Interquartile Range: 130
Outlier: 742

Side:

Side BoxPlot.png

Sample size: 12
Median: 223.5
Minimum: 117
Maximum: 490
First quartile: 199.25
Third quartile: 310.25
Interquartile Range: 111
Outlier: 490

Top:

Top BoxPlot.png

Sample size: 5
Median: 202
Minimum: 179
Maximum: 671
First quartile: 179.5
Third quartile: 518.5
Interquartile Range: 339
Outliers: none

We licked a lot of suckers a lot of times, and all this is true because it rhymes.

-Tally M.

Question #84454 posted on 11/06/2015 1:56 p.m.
Q:

Cher 100 Hour Board,

I am on a mission. My mission is to be the best smelling man alive, pre-eau de Cologne. I would like to extend to you a mission. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to tell me what you consider to be the best-smelling 1) men's deodorant, 2) men's shampoo, and 3) men's body wash out there. (Bonus points if they smell good together). I would also appreciate any advice on how to get the arôme agréable to stay around all day.

I hope to hear from une pléthore of Board writers, both male and female!

- M. le Nauséabond

A:

Dear Doctor,

My head now hurts from smelling so many things.

We (Vienna and I) went to Wal-mart, since Bath and Body Works was closed by the time we had a chance to go. First, some general conclusions: don't buy Suave, Dove, or basically any brand that also makes things for girls. They either smell too girly or like soap. If you want to smell like a man, you have to go name brand. Also, despite the reputation that Axe has, it smells really good.

So, here are the tallies, ranked in order of preference by type, our suggestions in bold. (I'm the first number, Vienna's the second, and the average is the third.)

Body Wash

Old Spice Swagger 3 4 3.5
  Fiji 3 3 3
  Pure Sport 3 3 3
  Lionpride 3 2 2.5
  Afterhours 2 2 2
Dove Clean Comfort 2 2 2
  Aqua 2 2 2
  Hydration 1 2 1.5
Axe Anarchy 4 4 4
  Phoenix 3 4 3.5
  Gold Temptation 3 3 3
  Dark Temptation 3 3 3
  Black Chill 1 2 1.5
  Forest 1 2 1.5
Irish Spring Gear 1 1 1
Dial Magnetic 1 1 1
Suave Sport Recharge 1 1 1

Thoughts: I was surprised how much I liked Axe. Vienna actually said regarding Anarchy, "If a guy smells like that, I literally will like him more." Dove is a super girly smelling brand. Irish Spring smells like my grandparents. Dial smells like soap. Suave smells girly as well.

Deodorant

Old Spice Lionpride 4 4 4
  Fiji 3 3 3
  Bearglove 2 3 2.5
  Timber 3 2 2.5
  Swagger 2 3 2.5
  Denali 3 2 2.5
  Wolfthorn 2 2 2
  Aquareef 2 2 2
  Citron 2 2 2
  Hawkridge 1 2 1.5
  Fresh 1 2 1.5
  Afterhours 1 1 1
  Amber 1 1 1
  Champion 1 1 1
  Pure Sport 1 1 1
  Classic 1 1 1
Axe Essence 3 4 3.5
  Anarchy 3 3 3
  Night 3 3 3
  Apollo 2 3 2.5
  Excite 2 2 2
  Below Zero 1 2 1.5
  Harmony 1 2 1.5
  Dark Temptation 1 2 1.5
  Peace 1 1 1
  Forest 1 1 1
  Island 1 1 1
Speed Stick Regular 2 1 1.5
  Musk 2 1 1.5
  Ocean Surf 1 1 1
  Irish Spring 1 0 0.5

Thoughts: The weirdest part of this was smelling a deodorant and recognizing it as an ex-boyfriend's. Axe Forest smells like an actual forest, and not in a good way. Vienna thinks the unscented Speed Stick is still better than the Irish Spring scent. Basically, most classic scents smell like our fathers/grandfathers.

Shampoo

Old Spice Polar 4 4 4
  Pure Sport 3 3 3
  Bulk Up 2 3 2.5
  Wolfthorn 2 2 2
  Fiji 2 2 2
Axe Night 4 4 4
  Apollo 3 3 3
  Phoenix 3 3 3
  Dark Temptation 2 3 2.5
  Peace 2 2 2
  Original 1 2 1.5
  Forest 1 1 1

Thoughts: We lost all sense of smell by this point. Still, go with Old Spice or Axe if you want manly smelling shampoo. 

Whether or not our top choices smell good together is yet to be determined. We were kind of worn out by the end of this.

-Tally M.

Question #84399 posted on 01/13/2016 11:01 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Marco Rubio repeated in the debate last night the line that this could be the first American generation that "leaves its children worse off than we were."

With the various financial panics of the late 1800s, two major world wars, and a Depression, I don't buy it. What are other American generations which were worse off than their parents?

---Portia

A:

Dear Portia,

I agree with you. This will certainly not be the first American generation in which the children are worse off than the parents. The statement is far too broad to be true. I look back on the history of this country and I can assure you that almost every generation in the last two hundred years was "better-off" because they had better technology. I would also say that in no way were the generations of African-Americans better off in the 1830s than they were in 1800, and I guarantee that for the Japanese-Americans were significantly worse-off than their parents in the 1940s. This statement ignores minorities and differing definitions of what is "better" and it comes across as extraordinarily arrogant and presumptuous. The people of today are absolutely not worse off than previous generations in any broad over-arching sense. 

Let me tell you about each generation of America, Mr. Rubio, and how they were better and worse off than those before them. In order to do this in an orderly manner, I am going to define a generation as a 25 year time-span, and I will only consider each generation when they were between the ages of 15 and 40. The first generation of the USA would have been born between 1761 and 1785. The following is a list of the generations of America following this matrix:

Birth Years

Generation

Generation Name

1761

1785

1776-1800

Revolutionaries

1786

1810

1801-1825

Industrializers

1811

1835

1826-1850

Antebellum

1836

1860

1851-1875

Civil Warriors

1861

1885

1876-1900

Gilded Agers

1886

1910

1901-1925

Progressives

1911

1935

1926-1950

Golden Generation

1936

1960

1951-1975

Baby Boomers

1961

1985

1976-2000

Generation X

Also, as I do this analysis, please excuse any failures on my part to include major developments in each time period. I tried to get the majority of them, but I am sure I missed some. 

First let us consider the very first American Generation, those who were born between 1761 and 1785, the Revolutionary Generation. This generation we will of course look at as a basis for comparison for future generations. This was the generation that participated in the Revolutionary War. It is not the generation of Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson, or George Washington, but is instead the generation that voted them into office, and fought in the rank and file of the war. These people are not only watching the afterbirth of a nation, but they are participating in it. 

This generation lived through social unrest, an eight-year war, severe inflation, arguably two regime changes, economic growth, and political turmoil. Approximately 8,000 American people died in combat in the Revolutionary War, and 25,000 were wounded. This war was hotly contested among the American people, as only one-third of the population actually wanted freedom from the British. This civil and social divide cause significant social unrest among the people throughout the war, and after the war it led to significant disputes among leaders in the budding nation. While the immediate legacy of the war was not positive, the Revolutionary Generation eventually built a stable nation with a strong political framework in the Constitution. Furthermore, this generation ensured the principles of the Constitution successfully switching executives in 1796 and again in 1800.

Immediately following the American Revolution, the newly formed nation experienced a severe economic crisis in the 1780s. The war disrupted the economy, and the British Navy attacked American ships, crippling the flow of trade. The British tariff system stymied American trade to the British Isles, which in turn harmed production and wealth. Furthermore, the tax system was a mess within America. The failed tax system made it impossible for the government to run in any productive manner, and it also made it impossible to pay veterans of the revolution. This led to Shay's Rebellion, and other general political and social unrest during the 1780s. 

The latter half of this generation experienced a great deal of improvement as the economy grew and expanded. This was in part made possible by the invention of the cotton gin and in part by the creation of the First Bank of the United States in 1791. The cotton gin greatly affected the textile industry and led to significant expansion of cotton farming in the South, and textile production in the North. The First Bank of the United States established the US Mint, and expanded the fiscal and monetary powers of the federal government. This stabilized the financial order and the nation's credit at home and abroad. Between these two developments in the economy improved trade, and increased production, consumption, and GDP. 

In hard numbers, the Revolutionary Generation experienced eight years of war, 10 years of economic recession, 17-21 years of political turmoil and war, with at least 9 years of that being consecutive. Industry was halted at this point, and so there was little industrial or technological growth of the this period. By the end though, they were a stable and free nation. The Revolutionary Generation left its children with a budding economy; a stable, free government; an expanding frontier. Given the legacy of this generation, I feel that the Revolutionary Generation left a positive legacy for the generation of its children, the industrializers. 

The Industrializers were in their prime between 1801 and 1825. These individuals were born following the America Revolution, and they completely missed most of the turmoil of the Revolutionary Generation, and benefited from their legacy of the Revolutionary. The First Bank of the US expired in 1811, and was renewed the following year. Under the umbrella of a strong fiscal system, production increased throughout the country, and there was general economic growth throughout this time period. However, the Industrializers ran into the problem of tariffs and other trade barriers with Great Britain. These trade barriers stunted the growth of trade during this time.

The growth of trade was further stunted by the War of 1812. This war lasted for 2 years, 8 months, and can in part be blamed by the less-than spectacular relations between Britain and America, created by the Revolutionary generation. About 2,300 Americans died in this war, and an additional 4,500 were wounded. In spite of the carnage from this war, it did result in better long-term relations with Britain and led to the demilitarization of the Great Lakes, which would serve future generations in terms of increased trade, better shipping and travel routes, and overall better international relations.

In addition to an economic boom, the new nation exponentially increased in size. In 1803 Jefferson bought 827,000 square miles of land from France in the Louisiana purchase. This added innumerable resources and opportunities for the American people and led to western expansion. Also during this time, the population quadrupled in size going from four million people to twelve million. At the same time, infrastructure increased dramatically as roads were build throughout the settled areas, and eight more states joined the Union. The invention of the Fulton Steam Engine improved shipping over rivers, and led to increased infrastructure particularly in port cities. 

This was also the generation that invented the Missouri Compromise, which stabilized the country for a time, but eventually led to destabilization and, in part, war. 

Overall, the Industrializer generation was better off than the Revolutionary generation. GDP increased approximately 15 percent, labor force participation increased by approximately 5 percent. Technology improved for agriculture, trade, and production, infrastructure increased, and there was very little time spent in warfare, in comparison to the Revolutionary generation. Also during this period, there was not a great deal of social strife. However, this generation failed to address the slavery problem. This generation was set-up to do well by their predecessors, and it succeeded well on its own.

The Antebellum Generation came during a period of economic growth, geographic expansion, and social unrest. During this period there continued to be significant economic growth. GDP increased approximately 20 percent over the course of twenty-five years, in conjunction with increased production and expansion. Industry boomed on the East Coast, agriculture boomed in the South, and people began to move out west to find their own opportunities. Railroads began to be laid, and westward expansion and overall infrastructure increased.

Amidst all of this economic prosperity, the US was hit with an economic panic in 1837-38. The entire decade of the 1830s was somewhat of an economic slump for the country, as overall GDP growth slowed down. During this time the labor force participation rate decreased by a few percent. However, by the end of the decade, the country recovered.

Society began to see important changes at this time. Horace Mann led the effort to provide basic education for all. He helped set up a standardized education system, and led to increased literacy among the Antebellum Generation and its successors. The women's rights movement began in the 1830s with the work of Susan B. Anthony and the Seneca Falls Convention. This was the first women's rights convention and paved the way for future women's rights movements. About the same time the abolitionist movement began to pick up speed to end slavery. William Lloyd Garrison helped found the Antislavery Society in 1831. The abolitionist movement of the Antebellum Generation set the stage for the Civil War in the next generation, and it caused social unrest during its own time. In addition to the abolitionist movement, slaves began to revolt, such as those in Virginia in the Nat Turner Revolt, in which 55 white men, women, and children were killed, and hundreds of slaves were killed in retaliation. The social upheaval of this era, while tumultuous for the time, and while leading to significant upheaval in the next generation, eventually led to the betterment of many lives. 

Conflict also defined this era from the Mexican-American War and wars with Native American tribes. In the Mexican-American War almost 2,000 people died, and 4,100 were wounded. This war was in part caused by the idea of expansion, Manifest Destiny, implemented by James Monroe during the Industrial Generation, harmed this generation by setting up a time of political and military unrest. It led to conflict with the Indians and the Trail of Tears in 1838-39. This would later lead to more conflict between the Native Americans and US military.

Overall this generation would be a mixed bag if it did not have the trump card of 1830. The LDS church was of course founded in 1830 by Joseph Smith, and by default, made this generation better off than its predecessor. 

I am just going so say that the Civil War Generation (Civil Warriors) was definitely worse off than its parents. Over the course of 25 years, the USA experienced civil strife, rebellion, civil war, rampant political corruption (after Civil War), and little economic growth. It was a rough time for the US. 750,000 people died in the Civil War between the two sides, an economic bust pervaded the South, and Jim Crow laws replaced the institution of slavery. 

This generation was definitely worse off than previous generations, and while constitutional amendments were created to leave a positive legacy for the next generation, they failed to work. 

The last quarter of the 19th Century, known as the Gilded Age, was known for its corruption, industrialization, and reconstruction efforts. During this time there was significant conflict with the Indian tribes in the West, the Spanish in Cuba, immigrants in the cities, the flu in people's bodies, and the workers in the factories. There was also a rise in workers rights and an overall increase in production in factories, and industrialization continued to expand throughout the country. Overall, this generation was a mix of good and bad. 

First of all, this time period was really good for the rich, but not so much for the poor. It was a time of significant income inequality, as the richer got richer, and the poorer stayed about the same. Much of the wealthy segment of the economy benefited from corrupt relationships with government officials. What's more, rights for workers such as the 8-hour work day, minimum wage, etc. had yet to be instituted, and the pressures of a capitalist economy were felt most among the workers. However, these conditions led to the rise of the unions, who began the Labor Movement, which would eventually lead to better conditions for workers and higher wages. These benefits would mostly be felt by the next generation.  In addition, from 1873 to 1879, America experienced its worst economic depression to date. It was a time of contraction and deflation. During this time 18,000 businesses went bankrupt and unemployment is estimated to have peaked at about 14 percent. Following the "Long Depression" as it was called, the American economy continued to industrialize: factories expanded, the agricultural industry shrunk, and the service industry grew, as did employment. Because of these changes in the economy, the middle class began to grow. Real wages rose steadily throughout most of this generation.

The Gilded Age is perhaps most well known for its corrupt politics. This was the height of Tammany Hall, and the political machines. The parties managed elections, and rewarded supporters in the form of monetary payoffs and political appointments. This system was called the spoils system, and it dominated the politics of most metropolitan areas in the country. Business leaders spent significant amounts of money ensuring that government did not regulate the activities of big business. Major scandals like the Credit Mobilier Scandal disgraced the government. The corruption of this time period led to major political reform in the next generation, but for the Gilded Agers, the system was corrupt and complacent. 

Almost 3,000 soldiers died in the Spanish-American war, and another 1,500 were wounded. However, from this war Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines became American territories. The war served to further repair relationships between the North and South, but also led to negative relations between the media and the people, as this was when Yellow Journalism really took hold in America. 

In addition to all of this, the Gilded Age was a time of increased immigration, particularly from Asia. America expanded its territories west as more people migrated across the country. Over 50,000 patents were made during this time period, including the light bulb and telegraph. There was also a minor influenza pandemic and women's rights groups continued to rally for universal suffrage. 

Over all, this generation was a mixed bag, but in comparison to the Civil Warriors, the generation of the Gilded Age was definitely better off. It didn't necessarily leave a bright legacy for its children, but the many bad things about the Gilded Age did lead to a great deal of reform in the next generation. 

The Progressives, or the generation from about 1900 to 1925, took the corruption of the Gilded Age and turned it into reform that could only leave their children better off. However, they also took their economic prosperity for granted, and left their children the greatest economic crisis America has ever seen. The Progressives suffered many diseases, which they then cured, and also managed to make America the foremost actor on the world stage. 

The Labor Unions of the previous generation continued to do their work in this generation. By striking and boycotting, workers affected change in the American labor market. Wages increased on average by over six dollars per week, and the average work week went down about 8 hours. Child labor became largely illegal, and workers' compensation became a norm in many states. Anti-trust legislation was implemented, restricting the creation of cartels and prohibiting collusion between companies. This benefited many consumers, as competition increased, and prices were pushed down. Overall, this was a time of economic prosperity as industrialization continued to prosper, trade increased, and investment boomed. 

Labor regulations were not the only important regulations to go into effect at this time. Sinclair Lewis and other muckraking journalists led to significant reform in the food industry as they exposed political corruption and bad practices in factories. They helped the regulations of the labor movement, but also helped to rid the government of significant corruption, like the spoils system. It also led to regulation on the food industry and the birth of the FDA.

Health regulations were not the only thing that led to improved health in the United States. During this time the country experienced a massive influenza epidemic as well as a yellow fever epidemic. By the end of this generation, there were vaccinations for both deadly diseases.

In 1920, the 19th Amendment to the constitution was ratified by the states, implementing universal suffrage, and allowing women to finally have the right to vote throughout the entire country. 

The foreign policy changes in the US, such as the end of the War with Spain, the creation of the Panama Canal, Taft's dollar diplomacy, and American participation in WWI, left the country better off in terms of relative power on the world stage, and also set the stage for American hegemony over the next three generations. 

In short, this generation was significantly better off than its parent generation. It also left a positive legacy to its children in terms of foreign affairs, labor standards, health and safety regulations, and medical innovations. It did not leave a positive economic legacy for its children, who would suffer the Great Depression because of the actions of the Progressives.

The Golden Generation started out bright and sunny, but by 1929, it found itself in a massive economic depression. In 1941, Japan bombed Pearl Harbor, thus bringing the US into WWII. During this time the government introduced a great deal of welfare packages, and regulations to prevent further depressions. The US built the first nuclear bomb. Overall technology improved during this time, improving the lives of people throughout the country.

The Golden Generation is a bit of a mixed bag. There is no doubt that during the 1930s these people were worse off than the Progressives, but by the time the 1940s rolled around, and ran their course, the US had rebuilt its economy, developed the most powerful weapon in the world, and become the most influential country in the world. The legacy of this generation is still debated by modern politicians, so I am going to call this generation a mixed bag.

The Baby Boomers were not a mixed bag. The time of the Baby Boomers, while fraught with some economic and social strife, were certainly better off than the Golden Generation. During this time, technology and medicine advanced by leaps and bounds. As a group, they were the wealthiest, most active, and most physically fit generation up to that time. They reaped the benefits of the Green Revolution, increased production, improved technology, and changed society. 

The Baby Boomers instigated the Civil Rights movement in the 1950 and 60s, which changed the country forever. During this time we see land mark changes in society such as the reversal of separate but equal, and the rise rights for African-American citizens, and protection of those rights. 

These people also experienced the Korean and Vietnam Wars, which, combined, killed almost 95,000 Americans, and wounded another 250,000. The wars of this generation heavily influenced the wars of our current generation, and entirely changed the general population's attitude towards war. 

The computer became more widespread during this time, and the foundations for the internet were set into place in the 1960s. The country experienced an economic boom in the 1950s, and a bust in the 1970s. The welfare system was expanded in the 1950s. 

Given all of this, and the many other things that happened during this time period, I think the Baby Boomers are left better off because of the advances in technology, civil rights, American power, and economic production during this time period. It also helps that the Baby Boomers had Elvis and the Beatles.  

The final generation I will look at is Generation X. I think this generation was better off than its parents. This generation invented the internet. It advanced the health of millions of Americans with vaccines for pneumonia, meningitis, hepatitis A and B, and lyme disease. It also improved cancer and heart treatments.

The economy went through periods of boom and bust throughout this time. The generation began with an economic boom in 1975-1980, followed by a steep recession, and then another economic boom in 1982-1990, brought about by the stabilization of inflation and oil prices. This was the second longest economic expansion during peacetime in American history. There was a small recession in 1990-91, which was swiftly followed by further economic growth, during which the federal government balanced the budget (and there was much rejoicing). The net result though is economic growth. 

It is important to point out some thing about this time period that set up modern America for many painful lessons. Much of the American involvement in the Middle East during the 1980s and 1990s, in part, led to the bombings of the World trade Center in 1994 and 2001. The military actions of the US during this time directly relate to those in our generation. 

But on the bright side Generation X produced Queen, ACDC, Journey, and many, many more musical geniuses. 

Generation X was probably better off than the Baby Boomers because of its advances in technology and medicine and economic growth. However, I would say that it did not leave we the Millennials better off than itself. It gave us the Dot Com Bubble, and September 11th, and continued entanglement in the Middle East.   

In conclusion, Rubio made a blanket statement that is inherently incorrect. However, for the most part things have gotten better. There is always increasing economic growth, improving healthcare, and improving technology. However, it is popular in the Republican Party right now to have a negative outlook on the future, so Rubio is at least politically justified in his statement. 
 
Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger (who hopes she never keeps another question so far over hours, and never writes an answer so long)
 
Question #84360 posted on 12/23/2015 5:59 p.m.
Q:

Dearest 100 Hour Board,

How can fun.'s lips build a castle?

See ya,
Scarlet Flamingo

A:

Dear flarlet scamingo, 

Yours is an interesting question. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to answer, but it's been an intense process to get this to you. 

This video should clear everything up

Also, I now fully admit I'm insane. I hope we can still be friends.

-Auto Surf

For an alternative explanation, see here. Also, sorry if there's any sync issues with the video. YouTube warned me it might happen but I'm hoping that it won't. 

Question #84211 posted on 10/20/2015 9:10 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Where can I buy the chairs they have in the HLR on the first floor of the JFSB? I'm a huge fan of them.

-You guys are awesome! :]

A:

Dear Robot Smiley Face,

For a while, I searched in vain; people didn't understand what I meant where I asked them where I could find the "juhfuhsuhbuh," much less where the "h'lurr" was located within said juhfuhsuhbuh.

Eventually, Auto Surf discovered my plight and informed me that the correct pronunciation was actually "juhfizbuh." With this information, I was able to find the correct building on campus, and there I found a map that directed me toward the fabled h'lurr.

Upon my arrival, however, I encountered an obstacle. A notice outside the h'lurr informed me that the lab was intended for use by humanities students, and I was definitely not a humanities student. I was carrying a book about the Rare Earth Hypothesis, for Pete's sake. Quickly, I put on my best Humanities Major disguise:

-Classy (and extremely soft and comfy) H&M shirt? Check.
-Cool black jeans? Check.
-Cool brown leather shoes? Check.
-Paper bag (with glasses and French mustache drawn on)? Check.
-Black beret? Check.

Thus equipped, I approached the lab attendant behind the desk:

"How do you do, fellow humanities major? I have come to this h'lurr within this marvelous juhfizbuh in order to participate in some computerized humanities. May I have access to one of these computerized-humanities-machines?"

The attendant responded by raising one of her eyebrows. Frantically trying to remember the secret humanities major code, I responded by winking at her. My first wink elicited no response, so I proceeded to wink several more times to make sure the message was clear. 

"Umm..." she responded "I already have a boyfriend, so...can I help you?"

I racked my brain, but I couldn't remember what this peculiar phrase signified. So, I let out my most convincing laugh ("HA...HAHA, HA...HA.") and then replied:

"Yes! I am very aware of what that means. I will now proceed to do some humanities. Thank you!"

I gave her one last wink, then shuffled over to a computer.

Upon refreshing the screen, I encountered another obstacle; a window that declared that these computers were to be used for academic purposes only, and that misuse would be reported to the Honor Code office. So, upon logging in, I did the two most academic things I could think of: I logged onto the 100 Hour Board and took a selfie.

HLRbag.png

With my cover now established, I turned to my real purpose: the chairs. Admittedly, I was a bit underwhelmed by what I found. I was envisioning vast, lush thrones in this mystical h'lurr; what I found were simple office chairs. Nevertheless, I determined I would find out how to obtain them. Doing so inauspiciously proved difficult. I tried looking at the chairs to my left and right, but they seemed to bear no marks or logos of any sort. I lowered my seat height to get a better angle. Nothing. I raised my seat height, and the chair let out a loud, prolonged squeak. Panicked, I got out of the chair and knelt beside my backpack, pretending to rummage through my backpack. Time was of the essence; any minute now, the lab attendants might notice something fishy and investigate. I was just about to give in to despair when I spied a single word on the back of my seat:

"Steelcase."

Elated, I quickly zipped up my backpack and logged off of the computer. I dashed out of the lab, emerging seconds before they sent the Komodo dragons after me (I didn't actually see any Komodo dragons, but I have heard rumors from other STEM majors that the creatures are kept in the basement of this juhfizbuh for such purposes).

---

Later, from the safety of [REDACTED], I searched for the cipher of "Steelcase," and found that it was a maker of chairs of many different varieties. Their selection of office chairs can be found here. Though I don't see the exact model that was found in the h'lurr, I'm sure the others will be very comparable in function and comfort.

-Frère Rubik

posted on 10/21/2015 3:48 p.m.
I'm pretty sure this is it although, I don't know many college students with $479 to spend on an office chair. Perhaps you should keep an eye out for it at a Surplus Sale.
Question #84161 posted on 10/11/2015 4:18 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Recently I have heard quite a bit about the "Mountain Lodge" Yankee Candle. Apparently it is legendary, and now my friends want to venture out and purchase this candle in bulk. Rumor has it that the candle smells so good that you will never need to have a boyfriend again, because the candle will fill the empty void in your life. Is this accurate? Is the candle worth buying??

- Single and ready to buy all the candles.

A:

Dear TARDIS,

This question came in shortly after Vienna and I had already made plans to go to DI, so we thought, "Why not track down this candle, too?" That turned into an adventurous night which we've named, "The Night of 'No, But Really,'" due to the fact that anytime either of us said anything jokingly, the other almost always replied with that phrase.

It started out simple, getting dinner at the Malt Shoppe. Since my name often gets mispronounced, I avoid the problem all together by giving a fake name. Believe it or not, I didn't use "Tally," which I should've, in retrospect. Dinner was cheap and good, paid for partially by mashed potato money from the sensory lab.

Our main purpose in going to DI was for me to show Vienna how to successfully shop there, which I think I might've accomplished. (The trick is in being patient and knowing exactly what you want when you go in; browsing at DI is really hard and is just frustrating). After selecting some stuff, we went to try it on.

I stepped out of the dressing area to show off the fit of one of the shirts, and found myself being complimented by a guy standing nearby. He was cute enough, slightly awkward, so I thought, "what's the harm?"

The attention continued through the clothes I tried on, increasing with an inquiry as to my age (he thought I was much younger) and as to my marital status (he was quite curious to know if I had a boyfriend). In discussion of the latter, he indicated that he was here with "her," referring to the girl in the changing area next to mine. Immediately I wondered, "Is 'her' his date/girlfriend?" With so little information to go on, I stopped responding (noticeably) to his overtures and Vienna and I made our quick exit. 

As I related to Vienna in the car to our next destination, "I don't know how I feel about getting hit on. I mean... It felt nice."

We now had to track down this elusive candle. Anne had posted a flagette with a potential location, and I'd misread it, thinking it'd referred to the mall in Orem. Google seemed to reconfirm this, taking us to said mall. After navigating Friday night mall parking (why do people go to the mall on Friday night?? I mean, we had a reason, but what is everyone else doing there??), we approached the directory only to find out that such a store didn't exist. We checked a couple of other stores that might stock the candles, only to be let down. I called Anne, found out that the actual location of the store was in Murray. Vienna found that Wal-mart carried the brand, so we decided to check there first.

Of course, on our way out, we couldn't help but walk past Build-a-Bear. I found it hard to resist purchasing one of these adorable creations:

Bears.jpg

The light was on as we approached the corner where Krispy Kreme sat, and in a spendy mood, it took little convincing of myself to get some donuts (which, to be honest, were disappointingly chilled). When we got to Wal-mart, Vienna had to physically drag me away from the clothes to wander through the aisles until we asked a nice employee where the candles were located. The selection was paltry, and we missed them on first glance. They only carried about ten scents, and yet we took the time to smell them, hoping to find something that would come close to the legend. A number of the scents were incredibly disgusting (the salted caramel was disappointingly unappetizing), and Vienna's comment about one smelling like old people made the other woman in the aisle chuckle.

Wanting to satisfy our readers, we figured we should probably actually go to Murray. Hoping the store closed at ten, we found out instead that it closed at nine, and we were thirty-three minutes away. And it was 8:15. Plenty of time.

We sprinted out of Wal-mart (Vienna nearly running into me when I stopped suddenly at one point) and sped (only slightly) towards our new destination. Thanksgiving Point was setting off fireworks, which was very distracting as a driver, especially in those narrow lanes of construction. A police car drove near us for a short time, and despite the fact that I wanted to go faster than him, I did not want to get pulled over. He wouldn't understand the desperation we had for finding this candle.

We arrived at the mall at approximately 8:50, with ten minutes to go before closing. We raced through The Container Store, startling a couple of people to be sure. We hastily checked the directory, confusing a nearby man with our enthusiasm for a candle shop, and ran towards Yankee Candle.

And then we found it. 

 Candle.jpg

This is the smallest one they had. As in, the smallest we could afford. It's a two dollar candle. We drove thirty minutes to buy a two dollar candle. That, you guys, is dedication to the Board.

The candle itself? Well, it smells delicious. It smells like fall, but it also smells like an attractive man holding you close. It smells like you will never be lonely again. When Rubik asked "...How many of those candles did you two buy?" Vienna aptly replied, "Enough to fill the voids in our heart forever." I have proceeded to name the candle Elliott Hamilton, and my roommates have surprisingly caught on as well. Elliott and I are now Facebook official.

 

Okay, but in all seriousness, it does smell pretty good. It's hard to smell when it's burning though, but maybe it just hadn't been going for long enough last night. Yankee Candles are also super expensive, and candles are just a hard purchase to justify for me when I could buy other things instead. However, the night was a ton of fun, and I loved hanging out with Vienna, so thanks for supplying us with an awesome adventure!

-Tally M.

Question #84117 posted on 10/10/2015 7:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How do I food here at BYU? Are meal plans worth it if I'm in Heritage and don't have to have one? Haven't purchased one yet, but looking to reduce costs for 2nd semester.

-Recovering Food Addict

A:

Dear Doctor,

If you're looking to reduce costs, then do not get a meal plan, especially if you're in Heritage. If you're in Heritage, that means you can cook, which means you will save money.

So, here's Tally M.'s Guide to Eating Cheaply in College:

First, forget to eat food on a regular basis.

...

Okay, but in all seriousness.

Tally M.'s Guide to Cheap College Eating

There aren't really any great resources for eating cheaply in college. Most online guides for cooking for one assume that you have a full-time job to be able to afford many of the ingredients. Most of the guides for college students assume that you live in a dorm and only have a microwave. This is okay for awhile, but is really frustrating when you want more food than just the microwaved stuff. And so, this guide attempts to combine the two.

The first thing you need to do is to determine a budget. Plan how much money you will spend on food about every two weeks or so. This money will include groceries as well as eating out, so keep that in mind. If you don't have a good idea of how much money you can spend on food and can afford to be a bit flexible, don't worry about a budget for the first few shopping trips, and then see about what you're spending. Try to spend as little as possible, though in order to reduce meal costs, you'll need to get some staples that will raise your initial costs.

The next thing you need to do is to create a meal plan. Creating a meal plan is the most effective way to make sure you only buy what you're going to eat. Plan breakfasts, lunches, and dinners—or what ever meals you normally eat throughout the day. I'll have more on different meals to plan, but this is still important to do. Be willing to be flexible with your meals, which often means building in "flex" days where you either make something simple with things you already have or get a free meal from someone or even going out.

Going shopping is the next step. If you want to get into couponing, do so. It helps to notice when things are on sale, especially fruits and vegetables. Apples are best to buy in the fall, whereas strawberries are best in June. Additionally, try to buy generic as often as possible. Nine times out of ten, it's pretty much the same, or not enough of a difference to matter. (The exception to this is Cheez-its. I made the mistake of trying to save money with generic, despite my firm belief that you can't do that with Cheez-its, and I was, of course, very disappointed.) Buy only what you're going to eat, and be willing to go to the store a bit more often to pick up fresh foods. 

Some other generic tips:

  • Baking bread is much more cost-effective. If you have the time and are willing to learn, do it. E-mail me (or ask another question) if you want a great wheat bread recipe.
  • If you don't go through bread (pita bread, hot dog buns, bagels, all the bread things) before it gets moldy, put it in the freezer! It keeps much longer.
  • Buying in bulk is generally better, but more often than not, you just can't afford the initial price. That's okay. Don't feel bad about not saving as much money as you could.
  • It's okay to buy things if it means you're more likely to eat. While it's cheaper to do homemade, it's not always easier, which may lead to not eating—or eating out all of the time. Sometimes you have to buy precut fruit or bagged salads and that's just fine.
  • FOOD STORAGE! Every time you go shopping, buy an extra can of something. You'll be grateful for it down the road. Just be sure to rotate the cans (don't shove it in the back of your cupboard and proceed to forget about it for two years because you don't move and everyone just gives you their extra food when they move out).

Now for the fun part: actual meal suggestions. These aren't vegetarian, nor gluten free, nor vegan, nor lactose-lacking. I'm sorry. However, this guide may give you some ideas to use to create your own modified food plan. Additionally, this is heavily based on my own food preferences. I've tried to draw in other things, but I just don't have a wide range of foods that I make. Obviously this guide isn't definitive, but is more for a starting point for your own lifestyle.

Staples

What you should buy to help supplement meals. Some of these are mentioned below as part of meals, but I wanted to give you a general list. You might not be able to afford all of this at once (or you might if you can convince your parents to take you shopping at the beginning of the semester), but it's good to gradually be building up your pantry. Also, some of these things you'll have to buy relatively regularly—like the cheese and onions. Don't let those go bad!

  • Spices. These are great for making food taste ten times better.
    • Rosemary, italian seasoning (or basil and oregano), garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder, curry powder, salt, pepper, red pepper, hot sauce, minced garlic (in a jar)
  • Baking products
    • Sugar, butter, flour, vegetable oil, cocoa, syrup, chocolate chips (what can I say? You never know when you'll want to make cookies)
  • Peanut butter
  • Rice
  • Potatoes
  • Noodles
  • Tortillas
  • Cheese
  • Beans
  • Onions
  • Salad dressing
    • Ranch, italian, and raspberry vinaigrette are pretty easily used in a wide variety of recipes.
  • If you're inclined to prefer East Asian food, soy sauce
  • A lot of people suggest having lentils to make things with. I don't, but that doesn't mean you can't!
  • Canned/frozen vegetables/fruits

Based on Wal-mart prices, it'll probably be close to $50 to stock up on a majority of these items. Spices can be expensive, but there are some bagged spices at Wal-mart that are cheaper than the stuff in jars. I've also heard rumors that there are decent quality spices at dollar stores, so that might be worth looking into. 

Breakfasts

Rather than most traditional breakfast foods, you want to put an emphasis on proteins, rather than grains. To be fair, this can be more expensive, but you'll feel better off for it.

  • Microwave scrambled eggs
    • Spray a mug with cooking spray, mix an egg in it, put it in the microwave at about power level 6 for a minute. Adjust to your microwave. The power level is important so your egg doesn't explode. Just so you know.
  • Bacon
    • You probably won't eat the whole package of bacon all at once, so when you get home from the store, put a couple of pieces per plastic baggie and stick them in the freezer. It requires a little bit of forethought to pull them out before you eat them, but that's okay.
  • Breakfast sandwiches
    • Put one of those canned pineapple rings on each side of a bagel or English muffin, then put a slice of deli ham on top, then a couple of slices of cheese. Pop that in a toaster oven or a regular oven until the cheese is nice and melted. It's delicious.
    • Premade sandwiches. I tried making these, but the eggs just didn't turn out quite right. It worked with the ham and cheese though! And you might have better luck with the eggs than I did.
  • Breakfast burritos
    • Basically, scrambled eggs + salsa if you're lazy. And it's wrapped in a tortilla, so you can eat it as you head out to school/work/what have you
  • Bagels. These are nice and simple and my go-to when I really don't have time, and I'll have to eat on the run.
  • Poptarts and scrambled eggs. You can get a box of cinnamon sugar or strawberry for like a dollar (if you get the generic kind). This was a family favorite growing up, so I'm slightly biased.
  • Pancakes made from pancake mix. This takes a little longer, and you definitely can't put syrup and peanut butter on them and eat it while walking to school. Trust me, I've tried.
I don't recommend cereal. But a lot of people have cereal, or oatmeal, or just a piece of fruit. And if that's all you can manage, then go for it. It's better to eat anything for breakfast than nothing at all. You can also have non-breakfast foods for breakfast. Like pizza. I definitely had that for breakfast this week, and it was delicious. I also keep a box of protein bars on hand when I can, just in case I have no energy in the morning to make anything at all.

Lunches

Lunch is hard, especially because most of the time you're not able to be home to make something, you have limited time to make things in the morning, and you don't always have a break to eat during the day. This usually leads to a limited selection of foods. I get that. If you have a sandwich every day, mix up what kind of sandwich you make, or even what other sides you bring. Also, invest in a lunchbox/bag. It's definitely worth it.

  • Sandwiches. Pretty obvious suggestion.
  • Salads are actually pretty good to bring—just don't forget to bring a fork. You might also want to consider investing in some Tupperware that comes with a salad size container as well as a couple of smaller containers for toppings like dressing and croutons (because soggy croutons are the worst). 
  • Premade lunches
    • One of my favorites is what I call sandwich bread. You make normal bread dough, then roll it out like pizza, fill it with toppings (mustard, shredded ham, shredded cheese; pesto, mozzerella, chicken; etc.), then roll it up. Bake in the oven like normally, then cut into slices. Stick a couple of slices in each plastic baggie and throw them in the freezer. By the time you get to lunch time, they're defrosted and ready to eat.
    • Tacos in sleeping bags are also really easy. After you've baked them, put two per bag, and put them in the freezer. Thirty seconds in the microwave is usually enough to make them delicious again.
  • Leftovers! Once again, don't forget a fork/proper utensils. I usually do and it's not fun.

The way I pack my lunches is: main dish (sandwich, salad, etc.), side dish (pretzels, tortilla chips, trail mix, etc.), and a fruit or vegetable. If I remember, I throw in a small dessert like a fun size candy bar or a small chocolate. This way you feel like you had a well-rounded lunch.

Dinners

I realized while typing this up that I forget to eat dinner a lot more than I'm comfortable admitting. I do not recommend following my example. My problem is that I'm lazy and don't want to think about something to make. Therefore, meal plans are very effective. These suggestions are in no particular order except that I thought of them in this order.

  • Black beans and rice
    • Mix in some sour cream and salsa and eat with tortilla chips. Bonus, if you have more beans than rice at the end, you can use the beans to make NACHOS.
  • Hot dogs
    • When you get home from the grocery store, put each hot dog in its own plastic baggie and put in the freezer (I really love freezing food, if you can't tell). Then put a bag of buns in the freezer as well. When you want one, wrap the hot dog in a paper towel and defrost it. Microwave and then toast your bun. Voila. Takes two minutes, tops.
  • Pasta
    • Yes, making your own pasta sauce is cheaper and healthier, but sometimes there just isn't time. Don't feel bad for buying premade sauce. Just do it. Noodles are pretty easy to cook, and then you can just heat up some sauce and pour it on top.
  • Quesadillas
  • Fajitas
    • I love fajitas. Super simple--just a matter of cooking some chicken, a pepper, tomato, and possibly an onion with a packet of fajita mix. Plus you usually get leftovers.
  • Chicken. There are literally so many ways to eat chicken, it's kind of ridiculous. There are two different approaches that are both good.
    • Rotisserie
      • Wal-mart sells rotisserie chickens for five dollars. The same price as a Little Caesar's pizza. Just buy one, come home and cut the meat off the bones. You can use this for SO many things. Make a salad with chicken. Stick it in quesadillas. Put it on pizza (more on that later). Put it in a tortilla with some other stuff and make it into a wrap. Eat it plain.
    • Frozen breasts
      • Once again, put these in individual bags when you get home from the grocery store. Then, take one out the morning (or night before) you're going to eat it to let it defrost. It's really simple to put it in a tinfoil-lined pan with some Italian dressing and some other seasoning/vegetables and let it bake in the oven for 20 minutes or so. You could also put pesto/basil, mozzarella, and tomatoes on it. Or cook it on the stove and turn it into a wrap. Or put on bagels with some cheese. Put some seasonings or a sauce on it and put it on rice. Be creative! Chicken's pretty forgiving.
  • Mini pita pizzas
    • Pita bread makes a great crust for a mini pizza. Some ideas of simple pizzas:
      • Classic pizza: tomato sauce (even spaghetti sauce can sometimes work), mozzarella, any toppings you want
      • BBQ Chicken: barbecue sauce, shredded chicken (rotisserie works great here), and cheddar cheese
      • Rosemary Chicken: olive oil, shredded chicken, mozzarella, and rosemary (this one is my favorite)
      • Basically anything you can think of
  • Tacos. You know how to make tacos. It's meat plus a taco seasoning packet and veggies/cheese. Super easy. Or you can make burritos with beans instead. Americanized Mexican is seriously the best.
  • BBQ chicken mac and cheese. See yayfulness' answer on Board Question #71137 in which I've already provided the recipe. There are also some other good food ideas in answers to that question.
  • Soup. You can either just do the canned stuff or make your own.
    • Five can soup is delicious. It's just a can each of corn, refried beans, black beans, and chicken or vegetable broth, plus a half jar of salsa. Then you stir and heat it up. Add fried tortilla strips and shredded chicken if you want.
  • Refried beans. Just refried beans. Sometimes with cheese, sour cream, and/or salsa. Eat with tortilla chips. Or in a tortilla.
  • I've heard stir fry is good. I don't like it though. But really, it's just vegetables with soy sauce in a pan. You can even often buy frozen mixed veggies designed for stir fry.
  • Potatoes are great! Mash them, boil them, stick 'em in a stew! Just be careful that you don't leave them too long or they'll start to grow/rot. And then your roommates will be mad at you.
  • Black bean burgers are a bit more time consuming, but these are a cheaper solution to buying actual hamburger, and they're still pretty good. It's also slightly more time consuming. But they're delicious.

Example

I wanted to give you an example of a meal plan, but there are a couple caveats I need to make you aware of. First, this assumes that I have things already in my pantry. When you're making a meal plan, you should do the same thing. Use what you have, buy what you need. Second, this is based on my own personal tastes and my own personal schedule. This is only meant to be a guide, not definitive.

  Saturday Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Breakfast XX XX Breakfast sandwich w/ pineapple Bacon and egg Breakfast sandwich w/ pineapple Bacon and egg Breakfast sandwich w/ pineapple Pancakes
Lunch Make bread 5 Can Soup Sandwich bread Sandwich bread Sandwich bread Salad w/ Chicken Sandwich bread Hot dog
Dinner Fajitas Family meal Leftovers Chicken w/ basil, tomato & mozzarella BBQ chicken pita pizza Chicken noodle soup Board party! Taco Salad
                 
  Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday  
Breakfast XX Breakfast burrito Breakfast sandwich w/ pineapple Breakfast burrito Breakfast sandwich w/ pineapple Bacon and egg Breakfast sandwich w/ pineapple  
Lunch Roommate lunch Sandwich bread Sandwich bread Sandwich bread Leftover pasta Sandwich bread Hot dog  
Dinner Taco salad Hot dog Chicken w/ Italian dressing Pasta w/ meat Black beans and rice Black beans and rice XX  

So, anywhere there's "XX" is where I'm not planning the meal (i.e., I don't eat breakfast on Sunday mornings). Now, I can use this to help me plan what I need to shop for. My budget is about $60, so I'll keep that in mind.

This shopping list assumes that I already have some of the food items.

Bacon $3.66
Bagels $1.78
Black beans x2 $2.16
Cheese $4.93
Chicken broth x2 $1.56
Chicken noodle soup $1.00
Corn x2 $1.36
Croutons $1.00
Eggs $2.48
Ground beef $3.66
Ham $2.48
Hot dog buns $0.68
Hot dogs $2.98
Salsa $2.48
Lettuce $1.98
Onion $0.68
Pasta $0.88
Pasta sauce $1.50
Green pepper $0.78
Pineapple rings $1.16
Refried beans x2 $1.70
Rice $1.38
Sour cream $1.68
Tomato x3 $2.94
Tortillas $1.68
Tortilla chips $2.68
Pop Weaver Popcorn $5.00
Total: $52.59

Not all of everything will be used in the two week period, so I can carry them over into the next week. I also usually buy a bag of fruit, such as apples or oranges (depending on the season). When you plan your meals, make sure to use things that will go bad in the beginning of the meal plan. If you need to, go to the store halfway through shopping trips to pick up other fresh food.

In Conclusion

The trick is to be creative. There is a lot of food that is relatively cheap, particularly canned food. Be willing to try and mix and match things you think could possibly go together. There are so many flavor combinations that even if you got the same set of groceries, that can keep you satisfied for a decent amount of time. I've been eating basically the same things for the last four years, and every four months or so I get bored, which means I add a new meal idea, sometimes getting rid of an old idea I'm completely sick of. Pinterest can also be a good resource for brainstorming food ideas. Most of the things on there are too elaborate, but it is possible to find ideas that are legitimately cheap and easy. 

Food is really hard in college. You have to balance things being cheap with being easy to make, as well as suitable for one person. And then you can't forget to be healthy as well. Talk to your roommates to get suggestions about things they eat. Learning how to budget and plan meals is a great skill to learn for your future, so be grateful you can learn it early.

-Tally M.

Question #84057 posted on 10/04/2015 10:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm planning to lead an expedition to the center of the hollow earth. We're hoping to find Atlantis, the Lost Ten Tribes, dinosaurs, and the rich realm of Artidax.

Just kidding! I made Artidax up.

We will be leaving on October 8, during the Draconis Meteor Shower at 23:00. That's 11:00pm, in case you were wondering.

My companions are as follows:

Johnny (the Geologist). He has read at least 3 books about volcanoes and tectonic plates. Plus, he's really good at identifying rocks. He knows which ones hurt the most when you throw them at people.

Colton (the Engineer). He changes his own oil. And he's the only one with a car, so...yeah.

Samantha (the Chick). She's really hot, so we let her tag along.

Richard (the Cool one). When he picks up his iPhone, Siri asks him questions. He doesn't order pizza: pizza orders him. When he watches the Lion King, he doesn't cry: Simba does. Plus, he can juggle. You never know when a skill like that could come in handy...

Me (the Tunnel Guide). I have the map. So I'm pretty much the boss.

We've already got three changes of underwear, like 20 boxes of Sunbelt™ granola bars, 6 flashlights with extra batteries, and 7 Axe™ Deoderant body sprays. Also, I brought my grandfather's ancient Atlantean Nerf™ Gun. I've never pulled the trigger on it, so I don't know what it does. Grandpa said only to use it in emergencies.

We're pretty much set to jet. The only thing is, the entrance to the Hollow Earth is directly under BYU campus. I think you can guess where this is going. You see, my grandfather went on an expedition years ago, and when he returned, he was pale as a ghost and covered in worm-blood. Something in those tunnels is guarding the entrance to the Hollow Earth. Grandpa never talks about the expedition. He got the Nerf™ Gun, but nothing else. I just know there's more down there! I just don't know how to evade the worms.

Compiling all the information from the Board, can you create a field guide detailing their attributes and history? I would feel more prepared if I knew exactly what kind of monsters I'm dealing with here.

What tunnel do I start at? How do we ward off the Worms? The legends say that Maeser was able to do it for a while. All I need is enough time to make it to the Tribe of Naphtali (that's the one directly under Campus).


-The Tunnel Guide

A:

Dear adventurer,

I applaud your bravery and stupidity. But you definitely need all the help you can get, so below is 1) the equipment you need, 2) advice, and finally, 3) a compilation of most relevant Board references to the tunnel worms.

Equipment

  • 2-4 freshmen. VERY important. Can walk in front and behind you, and act as bait and/or sacrifice when the need arises. May be substituted with EFY students, but teenagers tend to be more rebellious.
  • 70 feet of rope
  • 24-hours worth of water
  • binoculars
  • dynamite
  • 2-way radios
  • sparklers
  • duct tape
  • 1 gallon of pepper
  • A collapsible hang glider or parachute
  • hamburgers (NOT to be eaten by the crew)
  • a urinal
  • Jack Sparrow's compass

Advice

  • Don't go.
  • Make sure you don't have any important plans in the next 4 years.
  • Get some good life insurance.
  • Bring your map, but don't depend on it. Chances are the tunnels have changed greatly since it was made.
  • User your freshmen to taste-test the various fungi and moss.
  • There's nothing wrong with grabbing a few gems you see on the way, but only take the really good stuff because they can get heavy.
  • Don't mind if it seems like you've been going in circles for the past few days. You probably have been, but there are worse fates.
  • Unless you're really committed, don't use spice. Even the decaff stuff is addictive.
  • The earth is hollow, but what most people don't know is that there is another earth inside, rotating the opposite way (this is what gives the earth its magnetic field). So the tribe of Naphtali is underneath BYU, but only at very specific times. Once you reach the underbelly of the earth, I'd wait until you spy the tribe before you jump.
  • The 10 lost tribes live on the inner earth, but so do the demons, so play it safe. Head toward the fiery pillar and stay away from the shadowlands.

Board Information on Tunnel Worms

Topic Board Question Information Revealed About Tunnel Worms
Physical Description Board Question #77020 Pictures
  Board Question #47757 More pictures
  Board Question #71319 Give off a wretched smell
  Board Question #66754 Produce venomous slime. Also, the tunnel worm theme song
  Board Question #34301 Have razor sharp teeth
  Board Question #72242 Are not for the faint of heart
  Board Question #13534 Can smell fear
Eating Habits Board Question #67535

Eat both freshmen and EFY students

  Board Question #68571 Are less likely to eat non-freshmen, as yayfulness survived one. However, his status as writer may have contributed to this result
  Board Question #80640 They exact proportion, given in percentages, that different college years contribute to the tunnel worm diet
  Board Question #30609 Also eat burgers
  Board Question #31953 And tangerines
Helpful History Board Question #83139 First contact
  Board Question #67072 Migration from center of earth to Provo. Also, the map I'm assuming you're using to get to the center of the earth
  Board Question #912 Existence of the Weepel (King of Worms)
  Board Question #45222 Various, specific worms named
  Board Question #80640 Some children have been raised by tunnel worms
  Board Question #80024 Possible connection with the Universe
Hive Locations Board Question #28732 Under the SWKT
  Board Question #69911 Under Helaman Halls
  Board Question #39134 Next to the generators of the Talmage
  Board Question #56942 Latitude and longitude of an entrance
  Board Question #46985 Provides google maps directions to tunnels here
  Board Question #83139 Separate, but connected, tunnel systems for utilities and worms
Ideas to survive Board Question #13170 Bring the Mighty Quinn (though word is he's now a body guard for the Board lair with the tunnel worms)
  Board Question #35602 Walk without rhythm
  Board Question #6447 Don't bring any form of caffeine
  Board Question #70046 Enlist the aid of Ralphie, the loving tunnel worm
  Board Question #4522 Repelled by urinals
  Board Question #38443 Can be tickled
  Board Question #32251 Can be distracted with food
  Board Question #25041 Can somehow be controlled with spice, as demonstrated by Leto II
  Board Question #43447 More of above
  Board Question #81068

Enter closed buildings on three-day weekends

 

Talk to strangers, look both ways before jumping, and have fun. And, since I dare not wish you anything else, I wish you a quick and relatively painless death.

-El-ahrairah

Question #83972 posted on 09/27/2015 6:16 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Writers,

Can you tell me a story?

- Warm Milk

A:

Hello Kitty,

In a place called Setting, during the Expositional Period, lived a character by the name of Protagonist. Protagonist had features and qualities as well as relationships and dynamics. However, Protagonist had a flaw. Protagonist's friend Foil, did not have the same flaw because of a special characteristic of Foil -- Dramatic Irony. Protagonist's flaw was not a major issue, but Protagonist's friend Foreshadowing said it would be important later.

Towards the end of the Expositional Period, a group known as Inciting Incident came to Setting. Inciting Incident caused all sorts of trouble for the cast of Setting. Protagonist was faced with conflict because of Inciting Incident. Protagonist knew something must be done so Protagonist challenged the leader of Inciting Incident, Antagonist, to Rising Action. "Hmm..." thought Antagonist. "I suppose. But if we beat you at Rising Action then we will destroy your Emotional Connection!"

The cast of Setting was shocked. Everyone deeply cared for Emotional Connection. "Fine," replied Protagonist. "But if I win then you agree to the terms of Falling Action!"

Antagonist nodded in agreement. The Rising Action that followed was full of suspense. At times Protagonist seemed to be winning while at other times Antagonist held the upper hand.

After the first two segments of Rising Action came the final segment, Rule of Three. Whoever won Rule of Three would win all of Rising Action. Antagonist completed Rule of Three first with the result of Heightened Tension. Heightened Tension meant that Protagonist must overcome the flaw Foreshadowing mentioned earlier, which seemed very unlikely.

Protagonist began Rule of Three and soon, because of the flaw, fell victim to Apparent Defeat. Antagonist began the ritual of Premature Celebration. The cast of Setting was very sad. Protagonist, however, had been helped by Foil to use Dramatic Irony to be victorious at Rule of Three. While Antagonist was distracted with Premature Celebration, Protagonist used the power of Climax to defeat Antagonist and drive away Inciting Incident.

Antagonist was forced to abide by the terms of Falling Action. Once Falling Action had been completed, Protagonist and the cast of Setting participated in the celebration of Denouement.

The End

-M.O.D.A.Q.

Question #83943 posted on 09/28/2015 7:53 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the legal justification for trying a juvenile as an adult? If I understand correctly, this usually happens when an adolescent commits a particularly heinous crime to the end of giving them an appropriate punishment. But what principle of law is that says, "There are courts specifically designed to account for the underdeveloped moral and cognitive capacities of someone your age, but because your crime was so severe, we're going to legally strip you of that protection and treat you as an adult."

I'm thinking particularly of the two girls who will stand as adults in the Slender Man stabbing trial. While I think that what they did is absolutely terrible, I do think it's important to account for their age and impressionability. The article linked above does mention that it's Wisconsin law to try anyone over the age of ten as an adult—but why? Why do juvenile courts exist if their jurisdiction can be arbitrarily overridden?

-Thusly

A:

Dear Thusly,

I've spent the last couple hours reading up on ALL OF THE THINGS, but the truth is that I can't find a satisfactory answer—at least, not to the question I think you're asking. Let me explain some of what I learned and tell you what I think.

There are some fundamental differences between juvenile courts and adult criminal courts. The biggest is in their purpose: adult courts are intended to punish the offender and protect society from further harm, whereas juvenile courts are intended to rehabilitate the offender and encourage reintegration into society. What I didn't realize when I started researching this question is that in some jurisdictions, juvie courts cannot send delinquents to prison, even if the offenders have committed atrocious crimes and are emotionally and mentally mature enough to be held responsible for them. In these cases, the rationale for trying them as adults is that the punishment needs to be more tailored to the crime.

In the case of the Slender Man teens, being tried as adults allows for a punishment beyond simply house arrest or community service—which, considering the severity of what they've done, strikes me as appropriate. I'm inclined to agree with you: no thirteen-year-old I know can be expected to think as rationally or responsibly as an adult. Young teenagers have trouble distinguishing between fiction and reality, and I know how deceptive and alluring media like Slender Man can be. Heck, when I was thirteen, I still harbored a half-hope that my letter from Hogwarts had spent the last two years lost in the mail. A bizarre experience with peer pressure and fantasy novels in sixth grade led me to believe—quite literally and sincerely—in a fictional world that turned out to be a figment of my imagination. If you'd compared me to an average, rational adult, I'd have qualified as clinically insane. Keeping those things in mind, I feel almost as sorry for these girls as I do for their victim.

Nevertheless, I think it's important that thirteen-year-olds learn accountability, and in such a case there's a lot to be accountable for. I don't think they should be sentenced to life in prison or anywhere near it, as an adult might be, but I don't think they should get away with mere house arrest, either. The legal provision for trying juveniles as adults allows for individual adjustment in cases like this.

I should also note that being tried as a juvenile is not automatically better than being tried as an adult. The "advantages and disadvantages" article that I've linked to below explains it in more detail, but juveniles, because they're not fully considered persons in the eyes of the law, don't have a right to trial by jury. They simply get tried and sentenced by a judge. (I was a little ticked off when I discovered that, but there's a rant for another post.) If they're tried in a criminal court, they get a jury, and juries are often disposed to be lenient when the offender is underage. 

The trend toward trying adolescents as adults really took off in the mid-nineties, after a huge increase in the violent youth crime rate. Juvenile courts had always been intended to account for the underdeveloped moral and reasoning capacities of youth, but it increasingly seemed as though the age that had traditionally constituted adulthood was insufficient—that children were growing up faster and encountering adult material much earlier than they ever had before, and that it wasn't right for someone with the same cognitive abilities as a grown-up to receive a lesser punishment. According to some of the pages I came across, studies have shown that most people can reason about morality and consequences at an adult level by the age of sixteen. The justification there is that someone who is fully responsible for what she did ought to be held fully responsible for what she did.

So those are the practical reasons for trying someone as an adult, and they seem reasonable enough to me. But I don't think they answer your question. I couldn't find anything that offered a legal justification for why age, as a legally binding category, should be able to be arbitrarily waived (often at the behest of a single judge or prosecutor, and often to the defendant's detriment) just so they can receive a punishment that has their age group has been purposefully excluded from. To me, this speaks to a dysfunctionality in the the way juvenile courts are run. I'm certainly not a legal student nor an expert in juvenile law, but it sounds to me as though juvie courts ought to have the power to try adolescents by jury and to assign appropriate punishments, when needed—while maintaining the specific protections that juvenile courts were created to provide, like privacy and leniency based on age. 

It might be better to call what you're looking for a "philosophical justification" than a "legal justification," because the legal ones are there—they're simply practical, rather than abstract. The absence of such a justification grates against my better judgment, too. But I think that juvenile courts have developed as a matter of tradition and gradual shifts in society, rather than from any premeditated philosophical plan. As a result, as with anything in the world of law, we've ended up with some weird holdovers from things that used to make more sense than they do now, but which are hard to change because they've been enshrined in law. Even so, I think that the ability to waive an adolescent's access to a juvenile court is a good thing overall. Here are some links to the pages where I got my information; you might be interested in as reading them as you continue your search for a philosophical justification for trial as adult. Hope this helps, even if I didn't really answer your question.

Wikipedia on "Trial as adult"
A brief explanation of juvenile law
Differences between juvenile and adult criminal courts
Juvenile court sentencing options
Advantages and disadvantages of being tried as an adult
Trends and consequences of trying juveniles and adults
Why we should treat juveniles differently
Juveniles and the constitutionality of the death penalty

Yours, &c.

Heidi Book

Question #83817 posted on 09/13/2015 3:50 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm confused on the relationship between God and Jesus. I know that God is the Father and that Jesus is his only Begotten Son. But Jesus is also a god, without a capital g? Also when in the Old Testament, God refers to Jesus, right? I guess I understand their relationship to each other at face value but I still don't fully comprehend it (and maybe it is something we will not be able to fully comprehend.) When we read the scriptures and pray and go to church and all that, are we drawing closer to God or Christ or both? I know it's Christ who understands our pains and trials because of the Atonement but is it also him who heals them or is it God?

-Confused

A:

Dear Doctor,

This is obviously a confusing topic, and I've broken it down into what I feel are the two main questions that you're having.

Christ's Nature as a God

As "The Living Christ" declares, "[Christ] was the Great Jehovah of the Old Testament, the Messiah of the New." The Guide to the Scriptures reinforces this principle, including each of the members of the Godhead as gods. Almost all of the recorded instances of "God" speaking to people refer to Christ, acting on behalf of the Father.

Our Connection to Heavenly Father through Christ

In John 14:6, we read "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

A 1982 BYU Devotional by Elder Bruce R. McConkie helps to clarify this for us. There's too much for me to simply copy and paste, and so I highly recommend you read the talk. I'm simply going to present the doctrines that Elder McConkie does, while further elaboration and explanation is found in the devotional.

1. We worship the Father and him only and no one else.

2. We love and serve both the Father and the Son.

3. Christ himself loves, serves, and worships the Father.

4. The plan of salvation is the gospel of the Father

5. Christ worked out his own salvation by worshiping the Father.

6. All men must worship the Father in the same way Christ did in order to gain salvation.

7. The Father sent the Son to work out the infinite and eternal atonement.

8. The Son came to do the will of the Father in all things.

9. God, through Christ, is reconciling men to himself.

10. Christ is the Mediator between God and man.

11. Christ is our Intercessor with the Father, our Advocate in the courts above.

12. Our eternal fellowship is with the Father and the Son.

13. God was in Christ manifesting himself to the world.

14. Christ is the Revealer of the Father

15. Christ is the Way to the Father.

16. Christ proclaims the gospel of the Father.

17. Christ glorifies the Father and so must we.

With those concepts in mind, we can conclude that words that come from any of them come ultimately from the Father, much like the concept expressed in D&C 1:38: "Whether by my voice, or by the voice of my servants, it is the same."

Elder McConkie makes it clear that despite that, we still have different relationships with each member of the Godhead.

Our relationship with the Father is supreme, paramount, and preeminent over all others. He is the God we worship. It is his gospel that saves and exalts. He ordained and established the plan of salvation. He is the one who was once as we are now. The life he lives is eternal life, and if we are to gain this greatest of all the gifts of God, it will be because we become like him.

Our relationship with the Father is one of parent and child. He is the one who gave us our agency. It was his plan that provided for a fall and an atonement. And it is to him that we must be reconciled if we are to gain salvation. He is the one to whom we have direct access by prayer, and if there were some need—which there is not!—to single out one member of the Godhead for a special relationship, the Father, not the Son, would be the one to choose.

Our relationship with the Son is one of brother or sister in the premortal life and one of being led to the Father by him while in this mortal sphere. He is the Lord Jehovah who championed our cause before the foundations of the earth were laid. He is the God of Israel, the promised Messiah, and the Redeemer of the world.

By faith we are adopted into his family and become his children. We take upon ourselves his name, keep his commandments, and rejoice in the cleansing power of his blood. Salvation comes by him. From Creation’s dawn, as long as eternity endures, there neither has been nor will be another act of such transcendent power and import as his atoning sacrifice.

Our relationship with the Holy Spirit is quite another thing. This holy personage is a Revelator and a Sanctifier. He bears record of the Father and the Son. He dispenses spiritual gifts to the faithful. Those of us who have received the gift of the Holy Ghost have the right to his constant companionship.

As we become more like Christ, we become more like the Father, and eventually draw closer to both of them.

Because Heavenly Father is omniscient, he also knows everything that we experience. However, it is specifically through the Atonement that we are healed and how we find peace. This isn't to say that Heavenly Father is not part of the process. Rather, He is an essential part as we turn to Him in prayer to obtain healing.

Although my words may have been insufficient, I hope they will be enough to at least help you in your efforts to better understand this principle.

-Tally M.

Question #83688 posted on 09/24/2015 8:10 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the most fun things to do in Provo with a group of friends? By yourself?

Thanks!
Daisy

A:

Dear Daisy,

Sorry I kept your question in the inbox for... holy heck, 700 hours... but there are just SO MANY THINGS to do when you live in Provo, and I wanted to give you a thorough answer. Admittedly, I took the liberty of extending your question to the general Utah County area, so there are a few suggestions that lie beyond Provorem borders. I'm also going to kind of combine your two questions into one question. Because, really, you can do anything on this list either with friends or by yourself. You just have to be a bit more brave to do them by yourself. Here goes:

Vienna's Extensive List of Ways to Make Your Life Fun While You Live in Provo

OUTDOORS

Rock Climbing

Here is the website for The Quarry, the indoor climbing center on University Parkway. After that, here are two websites that list many sites for outdoor rock climbing in this region of Utah.

Hiking

OH MY are there places to hike in Utah! Here is a fantastic website that lists just about every hike you could possibly want or need in the nearby area. If you have no idea where to start, here is a Deseret News article listing some great options in and around Utah County.

Mountain Biking

Along the same lines, here is a list of good places to mountain bike in the Utah Valley area.

Road Biking

If you're more into road biking than mountain biking, here are some route options for cycling in Provo and Orem. Personally, I find it pretty enjoyable to just bike up Provo canyon.

Moonlight Canoeing

Yeah, this is a real thing that you can do on the Provo River, and it's awesome! Unfortunately, though, it spans from April to September so you already missed it for this year. Fortunately, you can still go on the Halloween river boat ride or the Christmas river boat ride this year. For more information on all of this, click here.

Ropes Course

The same organization that manages the canoeing also has a ropes course you can sign up for. Check it out here.

Going to the Park

If you don't feel like planning anything huge, take a day just to hang out at the park either by yourself or with friends. Here is a complete list of parks in the city of Provo. Bring along a Frisbee and some sodas and what more do you really need?

Scuba Diving

That's right! You can learn how to scuba right here in Utah County. Here is the website for North American Divers in Orem, Utah.

Fishing

Deer Creek Reservoir, Vivian Park Pond, the Provo River, and Utah Lake are all great places to fish! Here is a fishing map that will also tell you which kinds of fish you are most likely to catch in a given area.

Zip Lining

Here is the page for information on Zip Tours at Sundance Mountain Resort. It looks pretty awesome and I'm definitely adding it to my list of things to do.

Horseback Riding

Sundance also offers horseback riding through the Boulder Mountain Ranch. Here is their website. 

Mona Rope Swings

The Mona Rope Swings are an exception in that, obviously, they are in Mona which is about 40 minutes outside of Provorem. Still, they are pretty dang fun by my estimation so I'm including them anyway. Here is an article that gives some info on the swings and directions for how to get there.

Running Events

Utah is full of all sorts of running events. For an extensive list of upcoming events, click here. I've done a couple of them, and I want to put in a serious plug for the Dirty Dash. That thing is FUN. And you don't have to be a great runner to do it. You just need to love playing in the mud.

Camping

Need I say more? Link.

Skiing/Snowboarding

For skiing close to home, you'll of course head over to Sundance. However, if you really get into it, I would definitely recommend checking out some of the other fantastic ski resorts in Utah.

Snowshoeing

Check out this guide for snowshoeing tips and great places to snowshoe in Utah. I already know what I'm asking for this Christmas.

Sledding and Iceblocking

You know the drill. Find a hill. Be safe.

ACTIVITIES

Bowling

You can go to Fat Cats in Provo where the plus is that it's connected to a Costa Vida. Or you can go to Miracle Bowl in Orem where the plus is that it's cheaper, less crowded, owned by a cute old couple, and only slightly more ghetto. Or, perhaps most convenient of all, you can go bowling in the Wilkinson Center on BYU campus. You can also go bowling (as well as do a number of the following activities) at Provo Beach but since there are a kajillion things to do there, I'm going to give it it's own category.

Ice Skating & Broom Ball

Here is the schedule for the Peaks Ice Arena. As you can see, Friday night at 10PM is college night, meaning you can show up to play broom ball with a bunch of friends. Or you can show up by yourself and make some new friends. Life is full of possibilities, guys. Also, broom ball is pretty fun.

Laser Tag, Mini Golf, & Arcade Games

You can go laser tagging at Laser Assault, next to Smith's, or at Nickel City, on State Street. Laser Assault also has glow-in-the-dark mini golf, so that's a plus. But the lasers aren't as precise as the ones at Nickel City and there are no back censors at Laser Assault, which is a little annoying. The other plus of Nickel City is that, obviously, it is predominately an arcade. And don't forget, with the right attitude arcades are still pretty much as cool as they were when you were ten.

Provo Beach Resort

Here is the Provo Beach website, and here is their Facebook. You can do just about anything there. There's an indoor flowrider, laser tag, croquet, an arcade, a carousel, a ropes course, and this weird bike-like thing.

Archery

So it turns out there are actually a couple of options for archery in the area. There is an outdoor range up Provo Canyon run by the Timp Archers. There is also an indoor range at Jake's Archery where you can buy equipment and take lessons.

Rent a Tandem Bike

You can rent tandem bikes as well as about a kazillion other things at BYU's Outdoors Unlimited. Definitely something to take advantage of.

Paintball

I've never done the whole paintball thing, but I know there are people that love it. I just know from my experience laser-tagging that I would be horrible and probably just get covered in bruises. Anyway, here is a shop in Provo. Also check out their events tab if you're interested.

Provo Shooting Sports Park

This is another one of those that I have never done before. Basically shooting any type of gun terrifies me. But, for all you brave people, this is probably really fun. Check out this website for information.

Trampoline Places

For some reason the whole extreme trampoline thing seems pretty popular in Provo. Well, I shouldn't say "for some reason," because it is actually dang fun. I'm just bitter because I'm not supposed to do it thanks to my horrible back. But sometimes I do it anyway... #thuglife. Anyway, the two main extreme trampoline places in the area are Lowe's and Hang Time. Go if you haven't already! But also please remember to be safe, because I already know too many people who have been seriously injured at one of these places.

Getout Games

I haven't been able to try this yet, but I've heard really good things about it. According to their website, "Getout Games is a refreshingly new entertainment concept commonly referred to as “live escape rooms” and is the first of its kind in Utah County. These real life adventure games are designed for small groups. Each team is given 60 minutes to work together, solve puzzles, crack codes and get out!"

Heber Valley Railroad

The Heber Valley Railroad is an old, historic railroad where you can go on themed railroad rides such as the North Pole Express or the Hobo Train.

Dancing

- Country Dancing

In all honesty, I've probably gone country dancing at least 30 times. What can I say? It's fun. You can go to this place on Center Street every Wednesday or Saturday night. Or you can go for free in the Wilkinson Center (in the room next to the Ballroom) at 8:30 every Tuesday night. Don't hurt yourself, cowboys.

- Salsa Dancing

I tried salsa dancing once, too. I was terrible. Anyway, they also have salsa dancing at the Wilkinson on Tuesday nights in the Ballroom. Or you can go to that same place on Center Street where they have country dancing, because on Thursdays it's all about the salsa. Website.

East Bay Golf Course

Golfing is actually more fun than you might think. Also, it's one of the few places where plaid pants are not frowned upon, so it's an all-out win. Website.

Provo Recreation Center

Racquetball, pickleball, tennis, basketball, indoor aquatic center, pool tables, air hockey, table tennis, and an outdoor skate park. Word. Check it out here.

Puppies for Rent

You've probably all heard of this, as it has gotten increasingly popular in the last couple years. And you know why? Because puppies are awesome, that's why. If you're having a boring day, rent a puppy for an hour and it will probably get a lot less boring. That's the Puppies for Rent guarantee. (Or at least, it should be.)

Events at The Riverwoods

The Riverwoods always seems to have random events going on, such as Chalk the Block, happening this last weekend (once again, it took me a while to finish this question). Here is their website.

The Soap Factory

This place is really cool. Basically you get to go in and make your own soaps. It also seems, from their Facebook, that you can make your own chocolate there, too. I am so doing this in the near future. FAQ here.

Creativity Arts Studio

You can do all sorts of cool stuff here! Take an art class. Take a pottery class. Go in to paint ceramics. Art, yo. Website and Facebook.

Blickenstaff's Toy Store

I just think this looks like a really cool toy store. Website.

MUSIC

Velour

I have to say, there is some pretty good stuff happening at Velour. Even the open mic nights there are totally worth the 2 hours and 3 dollars you spend to go, in my opinion. You can check out their line-ups for the next month at this website.

Guru's/Muse Cafe

Another couple of places to check out live local music in Provo are Guru's (calendar here) and Muse Music Cafe (calendar here).

Rooftop Concert Series

Then, of course, there is always the well-known Rooftop Concert Series in the Summer. Of course it only spans from June to September, so you'll have to wait until next Summer if you already missed all the shows for 2015.

BYU Arts Events

And then you have a plethora of things to go see and hear through BYU itself. I've gone to probably 20 different concerts here at BYU—from student recitals to Synthesis (the jazz band) to the Harp Ensemble—and I have to say there is some really good stuff going on right here on campus. Check out their calendar here.

The Wall Events

Speaking of things happening here on campus, don't forget about everything that goes down at The Wall. They have open mic night every Tuesday, karaoke every Wednesday, and Acoustic Explosion once a month. For the full details visit their website.

ENTERTAINMENT

Comedy

- Humor U

- Comedy Sportz

- Divine Comedy

Theaters

- Echo Theater

- Hale Center Theater

- Springville Playhouse

Scera Center, Outdoor Theater & Museum

This place is pretty awesome. They have a bunch of cool plays and musicals. (In December they are doing It's a Wonderful Life: The Musical. I'm going.) The have PUPPET SHOWS (and puppetry classes).The have the Orem Heritage Museum. They have free musical firesides. They have dance classes. I'm not going to include links for each of those things, but here is the link for their website so you can explore it for yourself if you so desire.

UCCU Center Events

Sometimes stuff happens there. Idina Menzel will be there in a week so that's pretty cool. (Get it, cooool? LET IT GO! I've been working on this answer for way too long.) Website.

BYU International Cinema

I don't know much about foreign films, but I'm pretty sure they are only for really, really cool people. And you can now be one of those people. Website.

Museums

- Bean Museum

- MOA

- Planetarium

- Petrolania Museum

What the random? I'm going.

- List of other nearby museums

- Just so you know, the word museum starts to look really weird after a while.

Covey Center

Here is the calendar. Check it out!

A FINAL NOTE:

Finally, I just want to say to keep your eyes open! I'm going to finally submit this answer, but the truth is I keep finding more and more things to do in Utah County that I wish I could put on here.

Don't forget that there are a ton of great festivals in the surrounding area. Art festivals, cultural festivals, holiday festivals, the festival of colors, you name it! I went to the Scottish Festival in Payson last month and it was awesome. Then, of course there are haunted houses and corn mazes come Halloween, and a ton of exciting Christmas events come December.

There are also a whole bunch of farmers' markets that go on. (P.S. The Sundance Harvest Market is happening this Saturday.) And you can't forget about the fact that there are a ton of amazing restaurants in the area. I almost did a whole section on food, actually, but then I decided I have homework and I should probably not fail all of my classes. (Still, I will tell you that my favorite restaurant in Provo is The Black Sheep Cafe. You should all go.)

For reminders about events in the area, you can sign up for these e-mails, which will let you know about things happening in Provo in the coming week.

I guess I just want to end by saying to the BYU community at large that life is short, and your time as a young college student is even shorter. Work hard, yes. But play hard, too. Don't think that just because you live in Provo there isn't anything to do. There is ALWAYS something to do. And life is a lot better when you take advantage of even a few of the millions of opportunities that surround you.

Love,

Vienna

Question #83672 posted on 09/01/2015 10 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Are there any beds on campus?

-ZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzzZZzz

A:

Dear sleepy kitty,

Technically there are thousands of beds on campus. Between Heritage, Helaman, Wyview, and Wymont, I figure there's somewhere between 3,500-6,000 beds, give or take a few thousand. (Math is not my strong suit.)

But we don't recommend sleeping in those ones because, you know, privacy and freshmen cooties and stuff. 

Ardilla notes there are some beds in the Nursing Learning Center in the basement of the SWKT, but they are full of creepy simulator mannequin things. Divya also said that there used to be awkward leather mattresses in the Widstoe before it was torn down. Neither of these options sound too appealing. 

Luckily, there are ample bed-like accommodations around campus. In fact, I believe that anything can be a bed if you really believe in yourself and try hard enough. You might even say that in as much as the world is our campus, the campus is our bed.

With that said, there definitely are places more preferable for sleeping. A few other writers and I took it upon ourselves to venture forth and identify some of the best options, which we will present to you now. We begin our journey with...

The Simplest Choice

When you need a quick nap, your best bet is to plop down in a chair, set an alarm for 20 minutes, and check out. I'm a big fan of the library chairs if you get a foot rest, but campus is polka-dotted with a plethora of good chairs in most buildings. For example:

These chairs in the Brimhall let you nap and peek out the window periodically. 

IMG_20150826_181957312.jpg

A great example of the footrest technique in the JKB. 

IMG_20150826_174146456.jpg

If a foot rest is nowhere to be found, you can utilize multiple chairs, as modeled here by Tally M.:

tal.jpg

In case you need to fit a nap in between lesson-planning in the McKay building. 

IMG_20150826_181158513.jpg

Here we can see M.O.D.A.Q. snuggling up in the Memorial Hall on the east side of the Wilk. (You can also see my awful Photoshop skills but let's just pretend you can't.)

modaqmore.jpg


Benches: The Good

Chairs are okay for cat naps, but what if you're ready to be more committed? For that you'll have to find something more similar to the following: 

Small but convenient benches litter the basement of the JFSB...

IMG_20150826_180322253_HDR.jpg

...while these nifty things can be found in every basement corner. This is an ideal spot in theory, but it's usually filled with students and faculty sitting just far away enough from each other to leave little half-spots, too wide too ignore but too small to fit in; the wasted potential is agonizingly taunting. 

IMG_20150826_180423345.jpg

This one may require some flexibility or bodily deformation, but the good news is that benches like these are usually unoccupied due to their strange form. You can find them both in the JFSB...

IMG_20150826_175510199.jpg

...and in the JKB. 

IMG_20150826_174046778.jpg

Throughout campus, the size of the benches will vary. Most will require some creative contortions on your part...

modaq3.jpg

...unless you are Tally's size.

When combined with the bunk bed technique (as modeled by Frere Rubik below), benches can be great for group naps.

frere and tally.jpg

(The ESC is not the best for napping, but we wanted to note that there are some options for those poor science majors who live there.) 

IMG_20150826_181011144.jpg

(Not only is this not a great option, but it's suuuper public. Even I avoid it. Overall, the Board is not impressed with the Science Center's nap accommodations. 2/10 would recommend. Maybe it's best to just study in this building.)

IMG_20150826_183251037.jpg


Beds and Couches: The Better

The Honors Reading Room/Lounge is by far one of the cushiest places on campus. They probably frown upon random students coming to nap here, but really; who can resist? Just look at that corner booth and jewel-toned pillows. 

IMG_20150826_182240498.jpg

(These are technically chairs, but they look puffy and voluptuous enough that they might as well be couches. Plus, footrests.) 

IMG_20150826_182308072.jpg

This might be as bed-like as you're going to get without being surrounded by creepy nursing things or frowned upon by the public. It's really comfortable, especially if you bring a pillow like we did. The only catch is that you have to be passing through the 3rd floor of the ASB, and be a girl, as it is nestled into the entrance of the women's restroom there.

 bed.jpg

(In general, one can find couches and bed-like things in plenty of women's restrooms throughout campus. They are definitely for expectant or nursing mothers but if you act like you know what you're doing no one will know so you should probably leave them open.)  

If you're a man and need a bed, the LSB is loaded with these CouchBed things. 

modaq1.jpg

If all the CouchBeds are occupied (and they probably will be after everyone reads this answer and flocks to them), there is a wide variety of actual couches that one could rest on. As shown, they're quite a bit shorter but still provide quality comfort. 

modaq2.jpg


Bonus Round: *Literally* The Best

Under the Benson stairs, M.O.D.A.Q. enjoys the privacy and shelter from the harsh lighting. 

IMG_3585.JPG

The Benson cannot be matched in its good light-blocking nap spots.  

auto2.jpg

Turns out there are a ton of empty classrooms all around campus. I figured that I can usually fall asleep in class, so why not take it to the next level? 

IMG_3593.JPG

For those days when you want to sleep outside but don't want to lay on the grass, the skylight near the ESC is more comfortable than you would think. 

auto1.jpg

Admit it; there have been times when you've just wanted to drop to the floor and sleep.  As a sociology major, I encourage you to break free from those social constructs that suppress your true self and just do it. 

Also, those guys in the back are definitely not confused; they are just jealous of my prime nap spot. 

auto3.jpg 

Along with CouchBeds, the LSB has nice little human-sized nooks along various hallways. Plus, it was getting super stuffy walking around with a paper bag over my head, so the plant was refreshing.

plant.jpg

 

So there you have it. Now go forth and sleep! 

-Auto Surf, Tally M., M.O.D.A.Q., and Frère Rubik


This post does not necessarily reflect the beliefs or actions of all Board writers or of BYU students. The pictures included do not depict actual events. THE 100 HOUR BOARD is not responsible for missed classes, angry custodial workers, embarrassed students, or that events that may result after reading this answer. No animals, furniture, or writers were harmed in the making of this answer. Not recommended for children under twelve or those in adherence with proper codes of conduct. Ask your doctor or pharmacist to see if these beds are right for you. 
Please sleep responsibly. 

Question #83645 posted on 08/25/2015 4:55 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the ratio of the area of the parking lot for money-bearing customers at Seaworld to the area of the pool allocated for the whales to live their lives in decade after decade?

-Frank

A:

Dear Frank,

DID I HEAR SOMEONE ASK FOR A ROUGH APPROXIMATION?

Because that's basically what you're going to get.

---

I've never been to SeaWorld. I've seen Free Willy, though, so I had a sense that the ratio was going to be pretty big. Though I wagered I could probably find out the area of the pools for the orca whales, I wasn't as confident that the area for the parking lot would be as accessible (if any intrepid reader or writer wants to prove me otherwise using a Correction, they are, as always, free to do so). 

What did I do instead? I looked to my old friend, Google Earth.

1st.jpg

Here we have an aerial view of the park in San Diego. To clarify which parts were used for whales and which ones were used for parking, I added some lines:

2nd.jpg

(You might be wondering why I seemingly didn't include the whole parking lot. Well, the question specifically asked about the area of the parking lot that paying customers use; the parts I left out seemed to me to be employee parking places.)

Now, it's not very hard at this point to tell that there is a lot more parking space than there is whale space. But, you asked for a ratio, so we'll take things further. To make it easier to calculate the area, I filled in the outlines and put them over a grid:

3rd.jpg

Figuring out the area of each space then became as simple as counting squares (with a hearty amount of rounding and estimation for the partially filled ones):

4th.jpg

(Was there a way to calculate these areas more accurately using advanced mathematics? Almost certainly. Was I going to be doing said mathematics in one of my last days of Summer? Heck no.)

Trying to be generous, I estimated that we could only squeeze about three-and-a-half squares from the whale space, whereas the parking space contained somewhere around 150 squares. The ratio, then, is 150:3.5, or, simplified, around 43:1. Unparked cars have about 43 times as much room to roam around in as the whales do. 

You didn't ask about the ethical ramifications of this data, so I'll just leave it at that.

-Frère Rubik

posted on 08/25/2015 5:41 p.m.
Right after I finished the question, M.O.D.A.Q. messaged me on Facebook, telling me about Planimeters and informing me that there was one online that worked with Google Maps. I went to the site to recalculate the areas, but the question posted before I could correct myself. With the new calculation, I found that the parking area was around 200,000 square meters, whereas the whale area was 4,010 square meters. This puts the ratio closer to 50:1 (although I'm impressed that I got as close as I did with my rough estimates).

-Frère Rubik
Question #83593 posted on 09/14/2015 8:55 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If there was an Ultimate Showdown Bracket of Pop Culture characters, who would be the best choices for it? Skill is not a factor- the competition is open to anyone! At least 16 characters. Rules and restrictions may apply, but probably not.

-(of Ultimate Destiny)

A:

Dear Ultimate Showdown,

"The Ultimate Showdown" thunders throughout the room, and the lights bounce off the walls and chairs of the arena. As the chorus explodes so does the stage, and from the dust and smoke appears Neil Patrick Harris singing the song with his perfect singing voice. As the chorus ends, the music fades, and all the lights gather upon the Neil Patrick Harris. As he sings competitors also explode onto stage and fights break out throughout.

After Churck Norris swings in to save the opening number, and fake blood coats most of the competitors, Neil Patrick Harris sings the final repetition of "This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny!" Lights all snap onto him in the center of the stage, and the music ends. Applause thunders throughout the arena.

"What a rush! Every ultimate show like this needs an ultimate opening number. And I am your ultimate host, Neil Patrick Harris. Welcome to The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny."

Applause again erupts throughout the arena.

After NPH finally calms the crowd down, he continues with a smile, "Before the Showdown can begin, it is my responsibility to introduce you to our competitors. This masterful mass of malignants and magicians and monks were handpicked by an anonymous redhead of great authority as the most ultimate characters of all time. They come from a wide range of backgrounds, and with many of their own amazing talents. They will compete this evening in a bracket style competition, not unlike March Madness, but without the lame baskets and balls. So here they are folks!" The contestants, who were already on the stage broke their numerous poses from the opening number and began bowing and waving.

NPH's voice booms throughout the room as he introduces the competitors, "The first competitor tonight hails from his own personal skyscraper in New York City, from which he often saves the world in his own hand-made steel underwear. Tony Stark, every one!" Stark struts around the stage in his Iron Man suit waving and blowing kisses at random attractive women in the crowd. One woman faints from a well-placed wink. "Taking on the Man of Iron is the girl of brains, a little magic, and a whole lot of hair, Hermione Granger!" With the confidence and aplomb of the smartest student at Hogwarts, which she was, Hermione walks around the arena.

Neil Patrick Harris continues to introduce the contestants.  Zorro and Kvothe the Bloodless, followed by Kim Possible, and Elizabeth Bennet, Han Solo and Katara, Malcolm Reynolds and Burton "Gus" Guster, The Doctor and Inigo Montoya, Barney Stinson (much to the confusion of the crowd), and Elphaba Thropp, and finally Jay "The Great" Gatsby and Amy Farrah Fowler. Applause roars throughout the arena, welcoming the characters. 

Round 1: 

 ultimate round 1.jpg

Following a quick commercial break, the Ultimate Showdown ensues. Some of the fights are brutal, and some quite funny. Others end quickly, while others drag on for seemingly endless hours. At the end of Round One, Neil Patrick Harris returns to the stage.

"Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen! We just finished the first round of fights, and there were several doozies. I think we were all a little surprised when Hermione Granger so quickly disarmed Tony Stark in that first fight. What a rush! However, no one was surprised when Kvothe beat Zorro in their music battle. Let's take a look at the film." All eyes turn to the jumbo-tron above, as it begins to replay the fight. 

Kvothe and Zorro eyed each other across the platform. Zorro could feel his eye twitch underneath his trademark mask. Kvothe looked on, calm, cool, and collected as he caressed the strings of his lute. Zorro strummed his Spanish guitar, menacingly, but Kvothe maintained his easy, relaxed posture. This was not so bad; this was not the crowd at the Aolian; these were not masters of music, and his opponent was certainly not on par with him.

Zorro began to play. His fingers danced across the guitar, and the guitar came to life from the touch. scurried up and down the frets, as he played the "Crack of a Whip While Chasing a Villain", and "Racing a Horse Across the California Desert." The music was incredible; the music was astounding. No such music had ever been heard by many in the arena. 

Many had not heard Kvothe play. 

At the end of Zorro's "Soliloquy to the Mask", Kvothe promptly whipped out his lute and with the ease of a lazy evening wind, coaxed the sound of the "Moon at Night" and "Riding in the Wagon with Ben" and "Beating Zorro in a Musical Duel" from its sensitive, yet willing strings. 

By the time the last note fell, from the last string played, Zorro bowed his head in respect and humble defeat to his opponent, and went to join Elena in the crowd of spectators. 

For the second time that night, the entire room had fallen silent, and a sense of reverence passed between friends and strangers alike as they felt, truly felt, the power of the music from both men. The hush ended to the roar of deafening applause, as Kvothe stood, waved, and bowed to the entire arena. 

After a few moments, the lights returned to Neil Patrick Harris, "Following this astounding performance, we saw the legendary Elizabeth Bennet take on Kim Possible in a war of words. Elizabeth seemed to have the edge, because she hails from 19th Century England, but surprisingly, Kim Possible learned more of the English language than we all thought. It would seem bantering with villains and high-school debate does sharpen the tongue. The fight was close, but Kim Possible took the win." The lights turned to Kim, who stood and waved. 

"Following the battle of wits and words, weapons took on water as Han Solo defeated Katara in another close fight. Let's see another recap:

With the sound of the buzzer, the fight began. Katara threw spears of ice at Han Solo. Han was already on the run, guns a-blazing. Red and green lights zipped from his gun and sizzled against the wall of ice Katara threw up around herself. Volleys of ice and lighter; lasers and water flew back and forth, as the two danced around the platform. 

It seemed as if it would never end, until Han Solo pulled the surprise of the century, in the form of a revolver from his gun belt. A single lead bullet hit the rope holding Katara's water pouch to her side. It flew a matter of feet away to the edge of the platform and over into the crowd. 

With the source of her power gone, Katara was forced to use the little water remaining around her in defense, but was stopped as Han rushed, grabbing her arms, and quickly disabled further movement. 

Roars of applause met Han as he took the victory.

Among the remainder of fights, Malcolm Reynolds, The Doctor, Barney Stinson, and Jay Gatsby, moved on into the next round. 

“Congratulations to all who moved on to the next round in the Ultimate Showdown. We will return to the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny after these words from our sponsors."

Fade into the theme music and switch to commercial

*Two Rounds later*

Theme music plays as show returns from commercial break. 

“Welcome back to the show everyone. I am Neil Patrick Harris, and this is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. Before we continue with the show, the producers would like to apologize for the disturbance at the end of the last fight. Donald Trump tried to break into the arena to take over the final battle and win, but luckily for everyone here, Chuck Norris came to the rescue. He is currently helping the authorities with Mr. Trump, and unfortunately will be unable to steal the win himself.”

Boos erupted from the crowd.

“A tragic turn of events, but likely to make this final battle all the more exciting. Let’s take a look at the final bracket.”

 thing.jpg

(Sorry, I can't get it any bigger)

"In the quarterfinals, Kvothe handily beat Hermione, as they went magic to magic. He avoided all of her spells with the use of his gram, and bound her wand to the ground. Kim Possible beat Han Solo with her classic martial arts skills, avoiding all of his lasers, in spite of his impeccable aim. My nemesis, Captain Hammer, err, I mean, Captain Mal of the Firefly, who is definitely not my nemesis, was utterly and completely destroyed by the Doctor. There was much rejoicing. In the final, and saddest fight of the round, Jay Gatsby attacked Barney Stinson's one weakness by throwing one of his classic parties, and giving Barney the opportunity to talk to every single woman there. Barney was so distracted he left the stadium.

"In the semi-finals we saw the fight of the gingers, as Kvothe the Bloodless took on Kim Possible. Both are experts in combat and acrobatics. They also both possess the massive persuasive powers granted to them by having red hair. The fight was close, but in the end Kvothe won by sheer charm. The second fight was between the Doctor and the Great Gatsby. The the means of their fight were a little unusual, and it came down to a staring contest between the two. After two hours and forty-seven minutes, Gatsby finally blinked, as the TARDIS came hurling into the arena directly toward him.

"The final fight is now down to Kvothe the Bloodless and the Doctor. Both of these men are known for their fierceness and cunning. They always come out of the fight on top, and they always outwit they're enemies. That will end tonight, as one of them will be defeated in this the ultimate showdown. 

The theme music rumbles through the arena as Neil Patrick Harris exits, stage left, and Kvothe and the Doctor dramatically reappear on stage. From the vantage of the viewer, both seem cool as cucumbers, but nothing could be further from the truth. The Doctor knew that his very reputation rested on this fight. What would happen if he lost? Would anyone respect him anymore? Would he ever be able to show his face to his friends again? What would the TARDIS think?

For Kvothe this fight could change everything. Perhaps this would fix all the things he broke in his world. Perhaps after tonight, there would no longer be silence. Perhaps.

The two faced one another. A little smile appeared on the Doctor's face, as often did before he engaged in particularly exciting combat, and Kvothe, returned it with a smirk of his own.

Now Kvothe needed to win, but when he looked around, he saw there was no clear strategy to win this. All around him was nothing but smooth, stage. It was a stage no man could ever win on. 

But Kvothe knew the names of all things, and so all things were his to command. He looked directly into the eye of the Doctor, for he knew more than the name of the wind. He knew the name that would save him. Before much else could happen he spoke a single word, unheard by the entire room. Before the Doctor even moved, he was stopped, by the sound of his name which played a chord on his soul. This chord on his soul held him to the ground. 

He stared in shock at the daring of brazen boy with hair like fire. There was nothing to be done. Kvothe knew his name. The battle was lost. 

Kvothe had won. 

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger (Did you really expect anything different? I mean really?) 

Question #83577 posted on 09/26/2015 12:15 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm wasting my life! Help! I need motivation!

-The De-Motivationalist

A:

Dear friend,

First, I am so sorry for keeping this answer for so long. Most of the delay has come from my fixed mindset and high expectations, which I will explain later in this answer. Also, it turns out it's pretty hard to write about motivation when depression is working hard to keep you really un-motivtaed. But I'm back now and I hope my delay hasn't derailed your faith in the Board. 

Now, on to your question. 

Part 1: Background

(You happened to ask this question right before I started Ed Week, which means I sat through every class trying to see how the truth that was being presented related to your question. This is both good and bad because I have a whole bus load of truth for you, but it's taken me forever to organize it.)

I think it's a question that we all, at times, will struggle with, and it the answers root back to our divine eternal nature. I believe that we are wired to want to progress. Even in this midst of an un-motivated slump, I think we all have moments of motivation, if only in the quiet moments of solitude. President Eyring explains this beautifully in his 1989 BYU address. After telling a story of his own self-articulation, he states the following:

"...[Y]our impressions will not have been quite like mine, but you have felt a tug, maybe many tugs, to be someone better. And what sets those yearnings apart from all your daydreams is that they were not about being richer, or smarter, or more attractive, but about being better. I am sure you have had such moments, not just from my experience, but because of what President David O. McKay once said. Listen very carefully:

Man is a spiritual being, a soul, and at some period of his life everyone is possessed with an irresistible desire to know his relationship to the Infinite. . . . There is something within him which urges him to rise above himself, to control his environment, to master the body and all things physical and live in a higher and more beautiful world....

That pull upward is far beyond what you would call a desire for self-improvement. When I felt it, I knew I was being urged to live so far above myself that I could never do it on my own. President McKay had it right. You feel an urging to rise above your natural self. What you have felt is an urging from your Heavenly Father to accept this invitation:

O, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.

And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot. [Moroni 10:32–33]

That urge to rise above yourself is a recognition of your need for the Atonement to work in your life, and your need to be sure that it is working. After all you can do, after all your effort, you need confidence that the Atonement is working for you and on you" (Come Unto Christ, bold added).

So the small moments of motivation that you're maybe faintly feeling are more than just fleeting hopes. They are divine in nature, an invitation to allow the Atonement to change you. But how do you actually put that into action? How can you change effectively?

Part 2: The Root

I believe that real change will not happen by medicating the systems of a problem. If you want real change, you must attack the root, what drives our attitudes and behaviors. 

I went to a class Ed Week that addressed this. The main idea is that real change cannot happen without a change of heart.

Thankfully, he had some great diagrams because my words would surely fall short. Let's take a look: 

photo 1.JPG 

Basically, we process things (philosophies, ideas, actions, words, etc.) through our Belief Box. These are our core beliefs, thoughts, expectations, and interpretations of doctrine. Based on that filter system, we form attitudes and emotions about things and act accordingly to those examples. If our beliefs are truthful and whole, our actions will be also. If our beliefs are tainted with untruths, our attitudes and behaviors will follow suit. You know the quote, "True doctrine understood changes attitudes and behaviors"? It works the same with false doctrines, or misunderstandings of true doctrines; they will guide our attitudes and behaviors. 

This was a little confusing to me at first, so let's look at an example the teacher gave. (DISCLAIMER: These examples are oversimplified to get the point across.)

INPUT: Let's say you ask someone out or are asked out on a date.
BELIEF: This input filters through a belief you hold about yourself that you are not attractive, fun, or lovable. (This might sound harsh, but I think if we paid more attention to the way we talk to ourselves we would find that these thoughts are more common and more present that we might think.)
EMOTION/ATTITUDE: This will cause you to be nervous about the date.  You'll be anxious and have a lot of self-doubt.
BEHAVIOR: Consequently, you will act shy and awkward on the date. You won't really be yourself because you're afraid that they'll find out what you believe to be true- that you're not attractive, fun, or lovable. 
INPUT: The next input you get will be your date acting awkward, uncomfortable, and not really connecting with you. This will reinforce your belief that you are not attractive, fun, or lovable. 
EMOTION: This may lead you to feel fed up with dating and yourself, or even jealous of those who seem to have success.  
BEHAVIOR: You'll make fun of those who date a lot and gradually retreat from the dating scene. 
INPUT: People don't date you. Your belief is reinforced. 

This is how a false belief can affect your life. And really, the second input could be the opposite; your date could seem to really like you and ask to see you again. But because you weren't yourself, you'll feel pressured to be something you weren't.

Now let's look at the same situation, processed through a belief of true doctrine. 

INPUT: You ask someone out or asked out on a date.
BELIEF: This input filters through a belief that you and those around you are children of God, and therefore of great worth. This leads to other beliefs, such as an understanding of the healing power of connection and the worth your soul and others'.
EMOTIONAL/ATTITUDE: This will cause you to be relatively calm and excited for the date. Obviously you'll be nervous because, you know, Dating, but it won't be a mind-racking nervousness. 
BEHAVIOR: Consequently, your fears will not dictate your actions. You will be able to be yourself. (...as much as possible. I'm not sure I believe first dates are too telling of someone, but at least it will be better than the situation above.) Your date will feel more at ease and comfortable being themselves because you are, and you will both look for opportunities for connection. 

So, yes- these are quite oversimplified, but the principles stands true. The main point is this: No matter the outcome, the false belief will captivate you and bring you down. If the date is bad, you wallow in self-deprecating thoughts and continue to belief you can't date. If the date goes well, you feel obligated to keep being someone they can like, always afraid they'll find out that you're not lovable, fun, or attractive.

On the flip side, no matter the outcome, the true belief sets you free. You don't need to positive or negative reinforcement from others because you are sure in your God. If the date goes badly, you can get a good story out of it and try to improve the next time. If it goes well, awesome! You can continue to date without needing constant positive reinforcement from those you date because your confidence comes from God.

This is the great part about true beliefs; you don't need to find ways to justify them. The Holy Ghost will ratify truth and help you be sure in your true beliefs. However, the Holy Ghost cannot ratify that which is not true. We feel this absence of validation and so we search for it ourselves, because if we can't find anything to validate our belief then we'll have to change them.

These principles reach beyond the realms of dating (though I've seen it a lot in that aspect of my life lately). Another example that rings true with me is that of general expectations. While on my internship this summer, my roommate and work companion really tried to help me become more organized. She'd kindly invite and ask me to plan with her, clock hours, and join in other productive habits. I didn't do them, and, in fact, many times I couldn't bring myself to do them. I believe it's because these inputs were being processed through a belief that I had to perform well, or even perfectly, and a knowledge that I couldn't do that. My anxious and depressed mindset couldn't see them as ways to improve, only as impossible expectations that would only stress me out and exploit my weaknesses. So really, I guess my belief was more about me needing to prove myself. My worth was tied to my performance and I had lost sight of my connection to God. 

This was an extremely harmful way to see things because I was deeply misunderstanding basic doctrine of God's plan for earthly life. Before I elaborate on that, I need to take a minute to explain growth vs. fixed mindsets. 

Part 3: Mindsets- Beliefs in Action

The background of this idea comes from research done by psychologist Carol Dweck. For a more in depth explanation of her research, you can watch her TED Talk or read a variety of summaries found online. In the interest of flow, I'm summarizing based off of this video. Here's what happened: 

  • 400 5th graders were given the same menial task. 
  • Upon completion, students were randomly assigned to be praised for their intelligence or their effort. Each group was told one of the following sentences:
     Screen shot 2015-09-22 at 2.18.26 PM.png
  • For the next test, all students were given a choice of which task to complete. The two tasks were presented this way: 
     Screen shot 2015-09-22 at 2.22.23 PM.png
    • While 67% of the group praised for intelligence chose the easier version, 92% of the group praised for effort chose the option that would allow them to grow more. To explain this, Carol Dweck said the following:
    • "The child or adult hears, 'Oh, you think I'm brilliant and talented. That's why you admire me. That's why you value me. I better not do anything that will disprove this evaluation.' As a result, they enter a fixed mindset; they place it safe in the future and they limit the growth for their talent. Whereas focusing on the strategies they use, the way they are stretching themselves, and taking on hard tasks, the intense practice they are doing... Thos are the kinds of things that say to a child...,"It's about the process of growth." As a result, they don't feel, 'Oh, if I make a mistake you won't think I'm talented.' They think, 'Oh, if I don't take on hard things and stick to them, I'm not growing.

The children who were praised for intelligence got trapped in a fixed mindset; their worth was tied to results and performance. As such, they didn't want to risk letting others see any faults. They were afraid to try because they were afraid to fail. All this points to the fact that a fixed mindset kills motivation. If you're stuck in this trap, know you can change. Our brains are moldable and able to change, and we can use our agency to change our nature. 

What does this look like in real life? Probably similar to how I was the first week of classes. I felt like ohmygoshthere'ssomanythingstodoandI'mbasicallygoingtodie. I knew I couldn't get straight A's. For some classes, I knew it'd be a tough fight to even pass. And then my anxiety flared and reminded me of all these extra expectations I have for myself, most of which are incredibly unrealistic. So I wanted to quit, because I knew I would most likely fail, and because I didn't want to push that hard; I just wanted to be "good" at school. It seemed that the harder I needed to try, the less "good" I was. 

So I've had to work with reframing the challenges ahead as a push to develop myself, both in my field and as a person, rather than a push to perform. I don't know what my grades will be, but if I focus on that I will freak out and drive myself crazy. I try to remind myself that I want to learn and enjoy this amazing opportunity I have to study what I want. 

Back in the study, the children were given a final task, something well above their grade level, something at which they were designed to fail. Students from the first group became frustrated easily and gave up relatively quickly, while students from the second group worked harder, longer, and enjoyed the work more. When asked why they thought they did poorly, students with a fixed mindset would say something like "I'm just not very smart," while students with a growth mindset were able to respond with, "I just need a better strategy." The thing is, a better strategy probably wouldn't work because IT WAS AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK. They could not have succeeded. But while the first group took that as a personal blow, the second group saw it as a way to grow. 
 

Part 4: Gospel Application

Now to tie it all together. I want you to hear an excerpt from this 1990 devotional and then I'll comment on it. I recommend listening and reading along, which you can do here (start at 9:51). (I also want to note that this talk is in incredible and at some point you should make time to read all of it.)

Sometimes the weight of the demand for perfection drives us to despair. Sometimes we fail to believe that most choice portion of the gospel that says he can change us and bring us into his kingdom. Let me share an experience that happened about ten years ago. My wife and I were living in Pennsylvania. Things were going pretty well; I’d been promoted. It was a good year for us, though a trying year for Janet. That year she had our fourth child, graduated from college, passed the CPA exam, and was made Relief Society president. We had temple recommends, we had family home evening. I was in the bishopric. I thought we were headed for “LDS yuppiehood.” Then one night the lights went out. Something happened in my wife that I can only describe as “dying spiritually.” She wouldn’t talk about it; she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. That was the worst part. For a couple of weeks she did not wish to participate in spiritual things. She asked to be released from her callings, and she would not open up and tell me what was wrong.

Finally, after about two weeks, one night I made her mad and it came out. She said, “All right. You want to know what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t lift it. I can’t get up at 5:30 in the morning and bake bread and sew clothes and help my kids with their homework and do my own homework and do my Relief Society stuff and get my genealogy done and write the congressman and go to the PTA meetings and write the missionaries . . .” And she just started naming one brick after another that had been laid on her, explaining all the things she could not do. She said, “I don’t have the talent that Sister Morrell has. I can’t do what Sister Childs does. I try not to yell at the kids, but I lose control, and I do. I’m just not perfect, and I’m not ever going to be perfect. I’m not going to make it to the celestial kingdom, and I’ve finally admitted that to myself. You and the kids can go, but I can’t lift it. I’m not ‘Molly Mormon,’ and I’m not ever going to be perfect, so I’ve given up. Why break my back?”

Well, we started to talk, and it was a long night. I asked her, “Janet, do you have a testimony?”

She said, “Of course I do! That’s what’s so terrible. I know it’s true. I just can’t do it.”

“Have you kept the covenants you made when you were baptized?”

She said, “I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but I cannot keep all the commandments all the time.”

Then I rejoiced because I knew what was wrong, and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. It wasn’t any of those horrible things I thought it might be. Who would have thought after eight years of marriage, after all the lessons we’d given and heard, and after all we had read and done in the Church, who would have thought that Janet did not know the gospel of Jesus Christ? You see, she was trying to save herself. She knew why Jesus is a coach, a cheerleader, an advisor, a teacher. She knew why he is an example, the head of the Church, the Elder Brother, or even God. She knew all of that, but she did not understand why he is called the Savior.

Janet was trying to save herself with Jesus as an advisor. Brothers and sisters, we cannot do it. No one can. No one is perfect—not even the Brethren. Please turn to Ether 3:2. This is about one of the greatest prophets that ever lived, the brother of Jared. His faith is so great that he is about to pierce the veil and see the spiritual body of Christ. As he begins to pray, he says,

Now behold, O Lord, and do not be angry with thy servant because of his weakness before thee; [One of the greatest prophets who ever lived, and he starts his prayer with an apology as an imperfect being for approaching a perfect God.] for we know that thou art holy and dwellest in the heavens, and that we are unworthy before thee; because of the fall our natures have become evil continually; nevertheless, O Lord, thou hast given us a commandment that we must call upon thee, that from thee we may receive according to our desires.

Of course we fail at the celestial level. That’s why we need a savior, and we are commanded to approach God and to call upon him so we may receive according to our desires. In the New Testament the Savior says, “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled” (Matthew 5:6). We misinterpret that frequently. We think that means blessed are the righteous. It does not. When are you hungry? When are you thirsty? When you don’t have the object of your desire. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after the righteousness that God has, after the righteousness of the celestial kingdom, because as that is the desire of their heart, they can achieve it—they will be filled. We may receive “according to our desires.”

Like the students in the study, we have been given an impossible task, a life-long test. We must make it back to God, who cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance, and yet we sin all the time and we will continue to do so. It would seem that the plan was designed for us to fail. In fact, if we try to go it alone, we will fail. 

But our Father loves us too much for that to be the plan. So he gave us a Savior, and a chance to return. Because of Him, life is not so much about being perfect as it learning and growing into perfection. 

And what could be more wonderful? Life is not about giving the best performance or receiving immediate justice when we mess up. If we believe that, are hopes of progressing are shot. How wonderful it is that we have a Savior, who has taken upon him the weight of failure so that we may have the chance to grow.

I've gone through some experience lately that have allowed me to start seeing weakness less of a barrier between me and God and more of a step towards him. Even weakness that will seemingly never be healed, I now see it as part of the journey I'm on to come to know Christ and God. For me, that makes it so that I can keep going. I am independent from my short comings, I am hopeful, and I can keep going. 


Part 5: Doing It

I love these principles and truths, and I know they can help someone become more than they are, but they won't have any effect without action.

Get "a fresh view about God, about oneself, and about the world." Do this by writing down what you believe about God, yourself, and the world around you, in that order, without editing. Just write.  Once you've finished, figure out what belief is behind your lack of motivation. Compare your beliefs and the doctrines to which you've been subscribing to Christ's and figure out what needs to change.

Then, ask God for help to make that change happen. Immerse yourself in true doctrine all that you can so that your false beliefs can be corrected and your true beliefs can be strengthened and become part of you. 

Don't berate yourself when you fall short of your expectations. Embrace these times as chances for greater growth and greater connection to God. 

Finally, if you do all of this and still nothing seems to help, get more help. When I'm in the depths of depression, it seems my ability to be motivated is the thing that is broken, and I need help from family, friends, and therapy to get back on track. 

There will be more ways to apply this in your life, but I know you'll find what works best for you as you go. 

You can do this. I believe in you. I’m pulling for you. "And I’m not the only one. Parents are pulling for you, leaders are pulling for you, and prophets are pulling for you. And Jesus is pulling with you."

Take care,

-Auto Surf

Question #83534 posted on 08/18/2015 10:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Heading into Provo from the University Avenue exit, as you're on the overpass above the train tracks, you'll notice that on the left that there's a colorful building. Next to it is another building that says "Hide and Fur Building". What is the colorful building and what's the fur building used for?

-Saraband

A:

Dear Saraband,

Normally when I return to Provo from Rubikland I drive through Springville after exiting Spanish Fork canyon; the traffic's better that way. But, seeing this question in the inbox, I decided to take a detour on my drive yesterday. 

My first task was to determine whether you could actually see the words "Hide and Fur" from the overpass; when I looked the location up on Google Maps the night before, the Street View only showed the words on the West side of the building. For a while there I thought you might be a mutant (you know, like the X-Men kind), but then I noticed that the Street View hadn't been updated since 2012, so I figured things might have changed. Sure enough, as I crested the overpass I looked to the West and saw "Hide and Fur" on the East side.

I then navigated to an empty lot by the railroad tracks and parked the Rubikmobile. My next task was to ascertain which was the "colorful building" you'd mentioned; the Street View didn't have one of those, either. It didn't take me too long to guess that this building was the one you were talking about:

IMG_0737.JPG

I played real-life frogger with a couple of SUV's to get a better look. After strolling around the building a bit, I came across this sign:

IMG_0738.JPG

It looked to me like this "Startup Crossing" was going to be one of them new-fangled urban complexes, with shopping and restaurants on the bottom level and apartments up top. My phone is not equipped with a QR reader, so I took this picture with plans to look up the website (givgroup.org) later. As it turned out, the site didn't have very much information at all; it just said that Startup Crossing would be completed this fall. In researching the other part of your question, though, I came across a Facebook page for the development. That Facebook page linked to a news release about the project. It looks like Startup Crossing will definitely include apartments, but I haven't been able to confirm the commercial aspect of my suspicions. It sure looks like it, though.

Back on my detour, after taking the picture of the sign I decided to walk around the "Hide and Fur" building, just to confirm that it was the building I was thinking of. As I turned a corner, I came face to face with a man in an electric wheelchair, apparently waiting for a ride. Being the socially anxious type I am, I decided that my walking around the corner and then just walking straight back would be too suspicious, so I decided to just take a walk around the block. I didn't mind too much; I'd just had a long drive and my legs could use a little stretching out. On my walk, I saw many things. The first thing I saw was a small, closed-up art gallery. That was too bad. The next thing I saw was a large flying frog:

IMG_0739.JPG

That was certainly a surprise. Turns out, it was the logo for Provo Studio, a different art gallery. It made up for the closed one I saw earlier. 

Rounding out my walk, I saw a sign with this important reminder:

IMG_0740.JPG

Which is why Board writers never travel the tunnels alone.

My journey complete and the identity of the building ascertained, I jumped back in the Rubikmobile and hightailed it back to my apartment.

---

As far as the Hide and Fur building goes, it's been a lot of things, but currently it is the Provo studio of that Utah-renowned artist, Brian Kershisnik. It says so right on his business's Facebook page. It's possible that he shares the building with another business, but I wasn't able to find any information as far as that goes (and art studios tend to take up a lot of room on their own, so I wouldn't be too surprised to hear that he uses the whole building).

Downtown Provo is cool.

-Frère Rubik

Question #83521 posted on 09/13/2015 9:40 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I want to do my part to promote religious freedom. I'm a poor college student and cannot donate much time or money, but what can I do to help?

-Dallin

A:

Dear Dallin,

Despite how long it's taken me to answer, I'm really glad you asked this question. 

For those who read the question and thought, "Oh, that's not really an issue I need to worry about," STOP THINKING THAT WAY RIGHT NOW and keep reading. I can't promise my writing will be amazing (though here's to hoping, but this is an incredibly important issues that affects all of us,&nbspregardless of religious affiliation. I promise to make this answer thorough yet not boring if you promise to keep reading.  (To help with it not being boring, turn on these songs while you read.)

With that all said, I'm excited to answer your question, but first I'd like to give it a little more context. 

Why is Religious Freedom Important?

Before this question, I hadn't thought too much about religious freedom. I knew that my dad often worked with it, so I assumed that only well-established professionals and government workers could do anything about it. 

This is so not true. 

Alexander Dushku explained it well when he wrote, 

"It is high time that religious liberty ceased to be primarily a legal issue, one to be debated exclusively by lawyers, law professors, and judges. Religious liberty is as much about our culture and how we live together as free and equal citizens as it is about legal theories and lawsuits. And how we live together is not, ultimately, for lawyers, law professors, and judges to decide. That is something that all of us are going to have to figure out." (Same-Sex Marriage and Now What?, emphasis added)

Why is it about our culture? Put simply, "[r]eligious freedom is the architecture that gives diverse beliefs space to coexist—the essence of democracy. Without religious freedom, all rights suffer. It applies to religious and nonreligious views." So we're not singling out any specific sect or group here. True religious freedom is not exclusive; if one seeks to claim it personally, one has to afford it to others as well.  Therefore, this is an issue that affects us all. 

The writers below touch some reasons in greater detail, so I'll just end this section with these two quotes:

“Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man.” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: David O. McKay, Chapter 22)

“We believe that religion is instituted of God; and that men are amenable to him, and to him only, for the exercise of it, unless their religious opinions prompt them to infringe upon the rights and liberties of others; but we do not believe that human law has a right to interfere in prescribing rules of worship to bind the consciences of men, nor dictate forms for public or private devotion; that the civil magistrate should restrain crime, but never control conscience; should punish guilt, but never suppress the freedom of the soul. (Doctrine and Covenants 134:4)  

(To see what the bretheren have to say on the matter, see any of the following: Preserving Agency, Protecting Religious Freedom Loving Others and Living with DifferencesBe Strong and of a Good CourageLet Your Faith ShowThe Cost—and Blessings—of DiscipleshipNo Other GodsStand Strong in Holy PlacesLamentations of Jeremiah: Beware of BondageLet There Be Light)

What happens without religious freedom? 

"Okay, but is it really that big a deal?" Yeah, it really is. Here are some questions to consider if religious freedom erodes:

For Individuals

FREE EXPRESSION: Will religious viewpoints be suppressed in the public square and other places where people live out their lives?

PARENTS TEACHING CHILDREN: Will parents of school children be able to ensure that their religious values aren’t undermined through classroom instruction or intimidation?

THE WORKPLACE: Will employees be able to maintain their religious identity in the workplace and be reasonably accommodated when work and religious duties conflict?

PROFESSIONAL CREDENTIALS: Will professionals lose or be denied licensing for expressing religious views or declining to provide services that are available elsewhere but that are at odds with their beliefs?

SMALL BUSINESSES: Will family and religiously oriented businesses be able to maintain their values in the face of anti-discrimination laws?

COLLEGE CAMPUSES: Will campus student groups be able to select their own leaders or express a religious message?

FREEDOM FROM RETALIATION: Will those who voice beliefs be retaliated against?

For Churches

RELIGIOUS EMPLOYMENT: Will churches continue to have the right to employ people that affirm and live the church’s beliefs? Will they be forced to provide employment benefits that contradict their beliefs?

PRIVATE PROPERTY: Will churches be able to build and maintain houses of worship and other facilities? Will they be able to preserve their religiously important properties for activities that are consistent with their religious beliefs?

TAX EXEMPT STATUS: Will churches and schools that affirm the traditional definition of marriage lose their tax-exempt status? Will
donors’ contributions be tax deductible?

ACCESS TO GOVERNMENT RESOURCES: Will religious organizations be able to participate on equal terms with other non-profit organizations in government programs and the use of government facilities and properties?

RELIGIOUS SCHOOLS: Will religious schools be able to maintain their religious values and standards while also retaining their accreditation and the ability to participate in federal educational and research programs?

(I won't answer these now because I want to get on to your question, but I think they're important questions to ponder in order to understand the importance of religious liberty as it stands today.)

Taking Action 

Defense through Legal Actions

Here's an incredible example of religious freedom being defended by an average citizen, then supported by our legal system. 
 
To briefly summarize, an inexperienced lawyer of small practice helped his church when a former pastor/teacher sued the church after she had been let go. After the church won the initial case, the EEOC  (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) picked up the case and appealed it to a higher court, where the church lost. The Becket Fund for Religious Liberty appealed the case to the Supreme Court, and the decision sided with the church 9-0. The opinion said the government has no place intruding in something like that. 
 
A main point of the case has to do with The Ministerial Exception, which recognizes the right of a church to exempt employees from certain Title XII requirements (i.e. a church can fire a minister if their teaching isn't supported). The decision set an important precedent to maintain that right for religious organizations. The lawyer was in over his head, defending the church purely as a volunteer, but kept faith that it would work out. The Becket Fund wanted to protect the special relationship churches hold with their ministers, including their right to hire and fire them. 
 
The video gives more council at the end to those wishing to support religious liberty, including making yourself aware of the issues and available to help. I felt it was important to include in this answer to show that we're not completely under attack. The government can and will support religious freedom, as shown in this case. As the protagonist of the story proclaims, "These are issues courts are willing to take seriously and to defend. If this is an issues that you hold dear, fight for it!" 
 
In Discussing Differences

Zed talks more about this below, but I wanted to include an excerpt from an essay by Alexander Dushku, which addreses how we deal with differences in beliefs. He first analyzes the aftermath of Roe v. Wade, noting that it is socially and culturally acceptable to have different beliefs on the matter of abortion (as opposed to cases involving racism and discrimination, which create a moral and social taboo for those opposed). He states:

"...[F]or me, a critical question at this juncture is this: How is it that opposition to abortion was able to secure a place of respectability in our culture and law?  The answer is no doubt complex.  But assuredly one reason is that religious and other pro-life voices decided that they would not, indeed could not, remain silent.  They spoke up.  They refused to be intimidated.  They organized.  They insisted on their rights of free speech.  And they learned to make their case with reason, civility, and even love.  To be sure, there were extremists within their ranks—those willing to disregard the law and even commit crimes against those with whom they disagreed.  They had to be denounced and removed from the movement.  There were missteps and mistakes, course corrections and recalibrations.  But, eventually, the pro-life movement found its voice and succeeded in convincing about half the American people of the rightness of its beliefs.  Of course, not much has changed legally.  The Supreme Court still insists that abortion on demand is a fundamental constitutional right.  But regardless of your views on Roe v. Wade, the fact remains that those opposed to abortion can still be full and equal citizens, participating in all walks of life—from school teacher, to businessperson, to lawyer, to President of the United States."  

Dushku then shifts focus to a more current event: the recent decision on gay marriage. 
 
"...In my view, the effect of the Supreme Court’s same-sex marriage decision on religious liberty will depend, to a great extent, on people like you and me.  If supporters of traditional marriage retreat—if they are intimidated into silence—if they give up trying to find the right words and arguments to defend their beliefs—if they do not stand as witnesses and living examples of the goodness of their beliefs—and if people of goodwill do not, at least, stand up for the rights of others to dissent in good faith and yet still be numbered among us as our fellow citizens, neighbors, colleagues, and friends—then the Supreme Court’s gay marriage decision will indeed be a disaster for religious liberty.
But if those who support traditional marriage are examples of what is highest and best about their beliefs—if they, like the pro-lifers, refuse to be silenced—if they find ways to explain and persuade with reason as well as kindness, meekness, and love—and if they cheerfully but resolutely endure the indignities that will be visited on them, and without bitterness ask only for toleration, understanding, and respect for their basic rights as Americans—then I believe that, ultimately, the great goodness and decency of the American people will rise up and our culture and law will carve out and protect enough space so that people of faith who maintain traditional beliefs about marriage, family and sexuality can participate fully in all aspects of American life.
 
"That will not happen all at once.  Those who hold such beliefs are assuredly in for some difficult and uncertain times.  Sacrifices will have to be made.  Carefully chosen lawsuits will have to be filed.  We may even lose some friends on Facebook, and perhaps even some real friends.  But I am hopeful that, in the end, if we stand firm, both our culture and the law will accord those who believe in traditional marriage the respect and freedom they deserve.
 
"... Indeed, if support for traditional marriage is equated by our society and culture to racism, then every negative outcome that [the previous speaker] just warned about—and worse—will become a very real risk... If, in the aftermath of the same-sex marriage decision, our nation follows the example set in the wake of Roe v. Wade, then religious liberty will survive.  There will be hard times, to be sure, but eventually there will be accommodations for those who dissent from the new gay marriage orthodoxy."
 
Again, Zedability gives a great perspective on this in her answer so I won't expound too much. In short, I think we are all called to defend our rights, but there's a delicate balance between disagreeing and being disagreeable. As always, we can look to Christ and our church leaders as examples. 

Individual Action

So, with all that background, we come to your actual question: What can you personally do? 

In his April 2015 conference address, Preserving Agency, Protecting Religious Freedom, Elder Hales said, “Don’t walk! Run! Run to receive the blessings of agency by following the Holy Ghost and exercising the freedoms God has given us to do His will.” The whole talk is packed with truth and I highly recommend reading it. In the interest of conciseness, I'll point out that he urges us to 

  • become informed,
  • join with others,
  • work side by side to protect religious freedom,
  • and be examples.  

Similarly, a presentation at a recent seminar for religious freedom counseled citizens interested in protecting religious freedom to do the following: 

  • Be an example of the believers
  • Engage in your community
  • Educate yourself
  • Watch for developments
  • Stand up for religious freedom in your individual capacity
  • Support organizations that promote religious freedom
Change Your Paradigm

Finally, don't believe the lie that just because you don't have excessive funds doesn't mean that you can't do important things with your money. This goes for any cause, not just religious freedom. I highly recommend reading The Soul of Money by Lynn Twist to better understand this, but I'll include a pertinent quote now:
 
"Taking a stand is a way of living and being that draws on a place within yourself that is at the very heart of who you are. When you take a stand, it gives you authenticity, power, and clarity. You find your place in the universe, and you have the capacity to move the world.
 
"One of the great dynamics of money is that it grounds us, and when we put money behind our commitments it grounds them, too, making them real in the world. We can wish for better schools, a clean environment, and world peace; we can even volunteer, but when we also put our money behind those intentions, we become really serious about them. Money is a great translator of intention to reality, vision to fulfillment. 
 
"...All people at all times in all sectors of society in all chapters of history [can take a stand for their commitments]. People with little or no money are just as capable of directing the flow of money and resources in meaningful ways as those with much more money. Purely in the act of taking a stand, they create the clearing and the context for conversation that invites others to step forward and be heard."
 
So, you are are a college student with limited time and limited funds. Put them to use! Consciously choose to use your money and resources to support your beliefs and intentions. Just as the Lord's servants were not asked to do more than they were able, we do not need to single-handedly defend religious freedom. We just need to devote our efforts to the One who can magnify and develop them. 
 
Our efforts don't need to be extravagant. I think the way we support our beliefs should be similar to how we live the gospel; our commitment is shown through daily, small acts instead of occasional grandiose endeavors. Both are good, but I think true growth and true commitment will come easier as we choose to live in a way that ground us in our beliefs. 
 
Take care, and thanks for your desire to do more.
 
-Auto Surf
posted on 09/15/2015 12:08 p.m.
For a fantastic perspective on this, please see Elder Rasband's recent BYU Devotional, which will soon be available on speeches.byu.edu.

-Auto Surf
Question #83486 posted on 08/18/2015 10:14 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have just been informed that yellow watermelon exists. I don't know why but I am way beyond curious and need to try one! The only problem is, in all my years living in Utah I've never seen one. Where is the closest place to Provo that I can find yellow watermelon? Also, if you're so inclined to try it, let me know what you think of the taste. Thanks for your help and have a great rest of your summer!
-Mr. Melon

A:

Dear Melon, 

I went to Maceys, Walmart, and Winco before I almost gave up on trying to track down this weird fruit. I have had one before and it was nowhere near as delicious as a normal watermelon so I wasn't too motivated to drive all over to find one. However, I heard that they sold them at Trader Joe's so I made the trek up to Salt Lake City.

And behold! A great* yellow watermelon!

1_1.jpg

*Using the granola bar box as a reference, you can tell that yellow watermelons are significantly smaller than normal watermelons. It does weigh about the same as mini-watermelon though.

2.jpg

The weirdest part about this was not that it was yellow, but that it was seedless. I was surprised that there were no seeds when it was marked and sold as a seeded yellow watermelon. 

3.jpg

I was able to get 6 decently sized slices from half of the yellow watermelon. It was just as juicy as a normal watermelon so I was expecting it to be just as delicious. Sadly, I was mistaken. Too me, it wasn't nearly as sweet as a normal watermelon. However, plenty of websites describe yellow watermelons as being sweeter than normal watermelons and having a slight honey flavor. I don't like the taste of honey so that may be one of the main reasons why I wasn't impressed with it. 

4.jpg

One of my least favorite things about mini-sized watermelons is how much you get from them. Half of the watermelon gave me roughly 3 cups of watermelon chunks. It takes longer to peel and slice the watermelon than it does to eat it! It's barely even worth it!

So, for me, I would give yellow watermelons 3/10 stars. They're not good but if they were the literal last fruit on Earth, I could eat it. 

-Ms.O'Malley

Question #83282 posted on 07/29/2015 7:22 p.m.
Q:

Dear Frère Rubik,

What would be the plot of a movie called Provokyo Drift? What songs would be included in the soundtrack in addition to this? Would there be sharks? Gymnastics?

-Stick It

A:

Dear To-The-Man-Eosis,

You walk into the dark theater, popcorn and drink in hand, looking for a good spot where you and your significant werf can enjoy the movie/disrupt others with your unruly NCMO's. 

Or perhaps you drive into a drive-in theater in your family's suburban with a bunch of your friends, caring less about the movie than you do about getting some extremely delicious hamburgers.

As you settle down into your seat and apply some chapstick/stand in line at the grill and avoid eye contact with old family acquaintances, you see it:

THE TRAILER.

---

Preview image.jpg

(Source)

Over a black screen, the following words appear:

He was the fastest driver in school.

Cut to clips of cars zooming around turns by the coast of California, cheering teenagers, and a shot of someone wearing sunglasses, as seen from their rear-view mirror. 

But after spending two years on his feet,

Cut to a shot of the main character, Shawn, hacking through vines in the Amazon rain forest as a missionary.

Happy valley is going to this hotshot a new kind of drift

A Mazda 3 is shown zooming down the rock canyon road on a snowy winter day.

That will leave him...

Cut to the interior of the Mazda. Shawn is driving, accompanied by his Japanese friend, Lee.

Lee: Slow down, man, you're taking this turn way too fast!

Shawn: I know what I'm doing! I've still got it!

...Ice Cold.

The Mazda skids across the road and plows into a snowbank on the opposite side. As steam rises from the hood, Lee shouts "I TOLD YOU!"

Next Election Day,

Squeeze's "Cool For Cats" begins to play as we see Shawn and Lee sitting at a table at The Wall.

Shawn: So what's this thing called again?

Lee: The Provo Underground Racing Circuit. It's a year-round racing competition around all of Utah county. And, someone from the Village Guys is always in the lead.

Shawn: You mean that weird disco band that came up with the Y.M.C.A.?

Lee: No, genius, that's The Village People. The Village Guys are a super-exclusive racing group that meet every Saturday under the Village.

As Lee says that, we see shots of bros wearing flat-billed hats and polo shirts, flexing their muscles, racing cars, and doing summer sales for security companies.

Lee: And again, they always win.

Shawn: Except for this year.

Lee: That's a nice sentiment, dreamboy. There's just three things:

He holds up a finger.

Lee: One, you can't drive worth a darn in the snow,

Cut to Shawn, blocking the exit to an apartment complex's parking lot, desperately trying to free his Mazda from the snow as a group of irate students look on.

Lee: Two, you've got no idea how to drive a stickshift,

Cut to Shawn, parked in a Station Wagon on a slight incline. He turns the key in the ignition, and the car's engine starts.

Shawn: Yes, yes, yes!

A second later, the engine cuts out, and the car starts rolling down the hill.

Shawn: No, no, no!

Back to Lee at The Wall.

Lee: And three, that Mazda of yours is going to get smoked off of the line. Every.

Cut to Shawn at the starting line of a race against two bros in Mustangs. The flag waves, and they zoom off, leaving him and his Mazda stuck at the line.

Lee: Single.

At the finish line of a different race, two chargers cross neck and neck, with Shawn's Mazda coming in a couple of car lengths behind.

Lee: Time.

The interior of Shawn's car. He pounds the steering wheel and hangs his head in frustration.

Cut back to Shawn, chewing pensively on some fries.

Shawn: Well, alright, sensei, if you're so wise, what do you suggest we do?

Lee sits back in his chair, slurping his Italian soda through a straw.

Lee: Well...I might know someone who can help.

Cut to Shawn and Lee walking into a garage, approaching someone who is working under a red Mini Cooper raised up on cinderblocks.

Lee: Hey, Mad Dog! How's it hanging? Listen, I know how things went the last time we met up...

Shawn: Yo, Mad Dog! My name's Shawn! How's it hanging bro..."

At this, the person rolls out from under the Mini on a skateboard, revealing a girl with blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, her face smudged with grease.

Shawn:...ooooo nope. Nope. You are not a bro.

The girl, Maddie, gives a disgusted sigh and then rolls back under the car.

Lee: Ooh, nice one. You just let that chauvinist side shine right on through.

The music changes to Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off," and we see Shawn, Lee, and Maddie at a table in the Snack Zone of the Library.

Shawn: So what exactly qualifies you to give me driving advice?

Maddie: I'm from Canada and I grew up helping my dad in his auto shop. If there's anything to know about snow or cars, I know it.

Shawn: Well, that's all well and good, but that still doesn't change the fact that you're a g---

Maddie winds back her arm, ready to slap Shawn.

Lee: Oh, you've done it now.

Shawn: Guuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

Maddie slaps Shawn across the cheek.

Maddie: That's for not having the guts to say it.

Shawn:...girl?

Maddie slaps his other cheek.

Maddie: And that's for saying it.

Lee laughs, Shawn rubs his cheeks sheepishly.

The shot cuts back to Maddie's garage, where her red Mini now sits finished on the floor.

Shawn: Alright, alright, you know your stuff. I'll give you that. But you honestly expect us to win in a Mini?

Maddie: You haven't seen this Mini in action yet.

Cut to an open road in the middle of the field, the Mini flying down it. Shawn yells in exhilaration; Maddie laughs.

Werf Werfenheimer

Various shots of Shawn: Racing his Mazda back in California, leaning out the Mini and pumping his fist after winning a race, smiling and turning to Maddie.

Werfette Werfenson

Shots of Maddie wiping sweat off of her face in her mechanic uniform, acrobatically jumping over two bros' shoulders, leaning in to kiss Shawn.

and Werf-Werf Werfon

Scenes of Lee eating a slice of pizza, helping Maddie fix up the Mini, and cheering at the front of a crowd as Shawn races by in the Mini.

with Werfin Werfington

Shots of the main Bro drinking a protein shake, slamming Shawn against a shark tank in an aquarium, and angrily trying to ram Shawn and Maddie in the Mini off the road while driving a Dodge Challenger.

In:

A head-on shot of the Mini and a Mustang charging toward the finish line.

The Blessed and the Furious: Provokyo Drift

Cut to Shawn sitting at a computer, then excitedly turning around.

Shawn: Hey guys, have you seen this? Sometimes the dress looks black and blue, other times it's white and gold!

Lee facepalms, Maddie rolls her eyes and walks away.

November 2016

With Music By:

Squeeze

Taylor Swift

Crash Test Dummies

R.E.M.

Talking Heads

Boston

Damien Rice

and more...

---

Awestruck, you are completely oblivious to your significant werf's attempts to hold your hand/the burger which you dropped into your lap and is now dripping sauce all over your good pants. 

Then, the next trailer plays, for The Divergent Games: Breaking Dawn and the Half-Blood Maze Runner, and you quickly snap back into your awkward, sticky, non-Provokian reality.

-Frère Rubik

Question #83180 posted on 07/20/2015 6:45 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

When did the Church become all about families? Sure, sure, it's "always been about families." But not <i>really</i>, you know? Like, if the 13 Articles of Faith were written today by the modern prophet, it would be unthinkable that what we believe about eternal families wouldn't be one. Or why there's no mention of the idea of eternal families in the Book of Mormon. In more modern times, I know that the song "Families Can be Together Forever," predates the 1995 Proclamation to the World on the Family. And I also know that the idea of sealing all of the family of Adam together goes back to the first introduction of temple ordinances by Joseph Smith. But it seems clear that family is a focus in a way that seems different from any time in the past.

We Mormons are really good about finding the scriptures or the quotes that say what we are hoping to show (like how the teachings of the Presidents of the Church manual are snipped together quotes from a life time of talks and sermons). That's a nice way to show that, like I said above, the doctrine has always <i>included</i> teachings related to the family. But my question is, when precisely did the entire cultural and doctrinal push of the Church become families? Or are we in a "family" phase/decade of the Church teachings, like how we've had "missionary" phase (SWK's "every member a missionary/lengthen your stride") or Book of Mormon phase (ETB's "flood the earth").

To be extra clear, I'm not trying to imply that "family" isn't an important focus just because it hasn't always been one. And I absolutely accept that our theology, from the very beginning, has included teachings and doctrine about the eternal nature of the family. I really just want to learn when the current cultural/doctrinal focus on the family came about? Pre-Proclamation? Post-Proclamation? Would charting topics addressed by the General Authorities in conference talks show this?

Thanks

-My Father Has a Family, It's MEEEE!!!

A:

Dear MEEEE!!!,

I wasn't sure what to make of your question at first, since then it seemed to me that you were asking when the Church leadership got together and said "alright, let's start talking about families a bunch." That seemed rather unlikely to have happened. But, in thinking about the later portion of your answer (where you mention the "missionary phase" and the "Book of Mormon" phase), I think I have a better understanding of what you meant. While there might not necessarily be meetings to decide what the Church is going to emphasize, God will inspire the prophets to speak out on certain things and emphasize certain things in their teachings, and the collective result of all of that will be an emphasis on the subject in the Church.

At least, that's what I hope you were getting at, because that's kind of what I based the rest of my answer on.

With that in mind, the best way to determine the starting point of this emphasis seemed to be what you suggested: charting topics General Authorities addressed in General Conference. The only problem was, I picked this question up kind of late, and didn't necessarily have time to pore over decades of Conference addresses.

The solution (or, at least, my solution) came while I was at a fireside about the Church's apps and other technological resources. The presenter mentioned the Citation Index, and that seemed like the best way to do my analysis.

Here's what I did: I first scanned The Family: A Proclamation to the World for any scriptures it cited about families. There was only one listed, so I next went to the "Family" entry in The Guide to the Scriptures. I didn't have time to include all of the scriptures listed in my analysis, so I tried to pick ten that I felt would be best represented over the years (those ended up being Gen. 1:27-28, Deut. 6:7, Prov. 22:6, Psalm 127:3, 2 Nephi 25:26, Mosiah 4:14-15, 3 Nephi 18:21, D&C 68:25, D&C 93:40, D&C 132:19, and Moses 2:27-28).

Then, using the Citation Index, I counted up how many times each of the scriptures was cited in a particular decade. I figured that, at the end, if there was a heavier emphasis on families, it would show up in an increased amount of citations for a particular decade.

After compiling all of the results in a spreadsheet, this is the graph I made of the results:

Scripture Graph.PNG

(I thought I'd just comment here that the "Pioneers-1940's" section is just what I called everything that came from the Journal of Discourses, which is probably why it is so huge.)

Looking at this data, it's not as drastic of a difference as I was expecting. In general, I'd say that the emphasis on family has been growing fairly steadily over time, with a slight bump in the 60's and a noticeable increase starting at the 90's. The 60's bump might have come about because of President McKay's call to reemphasize Family Home Evening in 1965, or also possibly because of the turbulent social revolutions going on at the time. I'd probably peg the growth since the 90's on the Family Proclamation, but there were a fair number of citations from before 1995 as well.

So, that's the info I have for you. I know it's not super clear; I by no means claim to be an expert in this sort of thing. Heck, I don't even know if my conclusions are even valid. But, it was the best I believe I could do.

For a look at all of the data I compiled (and some other graphs I made out of the data), check out this link. If you'd like to keep talking to me about the topic or want to flush out the data with more scriptures, feel free to shoot me an email and we'll see what we can come up with.

-Frère Rubik

posted on 07/21/2015 9:10 a.m.
Chèrs Frère Rubik and Meeee,

BYU linguistics professor Mark Davies has created a corpus of LDS General Conference talks ( http://www.lds-general-conference.org ), which is very useful for this sort of analysis.

For this question, I did a search on the word "family" and set the results to return the number of hits by frequency, then compiled this histogram:

X - 100 hits per million words

1850s - XXXX
1860s - XXXX
1870s - XXXXX
1880s - XXXX
1890s - XXXX
1900s - XXX
1910s - XXX
1920s - XXX
1930s - XXX
1940s - XXXXX
1950s - XXXXXX
1960s - XXXXXXX
1970s - XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
1980s - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
1990s - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2000s - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2010s - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You'll notice that there's been a general increase from the 1930s to the present, but the biggest jump occurs in the 1970s, when the frequency doubles in comparison to the previous decade (probably due to the Church's response to the Equal Rights Amendment and related cultural issues).

So, in response to the original question, one interpretation of the data is that the Church became "all about families" in the 1970s. As for defining the "missionary" or "Book of Mormon" eras, I'll leave that as an exercise for the student.

- Katya
Question #83081 posted on 07/12/2015 4:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, 10,000 VND (Vietnamese Dong) back in the mid-1940s. How much money would that be worth today (in USD)?

I can't figure out how to look up exchange rates that far back and adjust for inflation, etc.

- An Amateur Historian

A:

Dear you, 

There's a reason this information is so difficult to find: the simple fact is that currencies often have complicated histories that make comparison really hard. The North Vietnamese đồng, for example, was only introduced for the first time in 1946, when it replaced the French Indochinese piastre at a ratio of 1-to-1. But it was circulated by the Viet Mihn communists during a war in which they were trying to kick the French out of the country, so it spent several years competing against the piastre as the dominant form of money. It was revalued multiple times over the next couple of decades, pegged to several different currencies at different times, and ultimately replaced by the đồng of a reunified Vietnam in 1978. 

So when you ask about 10,000 đồng back in the mid-1940s, you must want to know about its value when it was first introduced in 1946. This is going to take a few leaps, though, so buckle your seat belt.

Exchange information 1 (1946) đồng =
When it came out in 1946, the đồng was pegged to the piastre. 1 (1946) piastre
In December of the previous year, the piastre had been pegged to the French franc at a rate of 17-to-1. 0.0588 (1946) franc
The value of the French franc had seen a swift decline in the post-war years. In 1946, one franc was worth about 0.075 (2007) euros. 0.00441 (2007) euros
The average exchange rate in 2007 was about 0.73 euros to the dollar. 0.00604 (2007) dollars
The average dollar inflation rate since 2007 has been about 1.91%, meaning that $6.04 in 2007 had the same buying power as $7.03 in 2015. 0.00703 (2015) dollars

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ergo, 10,000 đồng in 1946 would have been about $70.30 today.

You're welcome, &c.

Heidi Book

P.S. Feel free to double check my math and submit a correction if it's off. Also, some sources certainly seemed more reputable than others, so you might want to mosey on over to those sites and see if you can determine whether they're telling the truth.

Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you think North and South Korea should unify or just encourage North Korea to develop as a separate country? It's taken Germany almost a generation to even out, and all the gaps in education, technology, and health in the two Germanies didn't seem as stark as it is between the Koreas.

Ex-expat

A:

Dear pat,

Yikes! Sorry for holding this over so long. Personally, I think your intuition is right. German reunification was a miracle in a lot of ways (like, can we take a minute to be totally blown away that it happened peacefully?), but it still came with a huge price tag: some estimates place the cost at $2.5 trillion in the twenty-five years since the collapse of the wall. What's more, vast differences continue to exist between West and East. The eastern economy has struggled to get on its feet, and the net cash flow still moves from the wealthier, western areas to the poorer, ex-Soviet ones. Frankly, German reunification is still ongoing.

And yes, the Korean situation is worse than the German one. The ratio of North Koreans to South Koreans is higher than the ratio of East Germans to West Germans was in 1990, meaning that the economic burden on South Korea would be disproportionately large, and the difference in infrastructure (education, health, communication, transportation, resources, etc.) is much greater between the two Koreas than it ever was between the two Germanys. (Germanies? Ha.) Overall, Korean reunification would be a bigger task than German reunification.

Many of the specifics depend on how reunification takes place. I'm going to outline a handful of semi-plausible scenarios and explain what the consequences might be of each. Keep in mind that I didn't know anything about Asian politics until I sat down to write this answer, so my opinion is admittedly inexpert.

1. North Korea and South Korea reach an agreement and enter a federation or confederation. Frankly, this route seems the least likely. South Korean president Park Geun-hye has declared reunification a goal of 2015, and by some accounts, North Korean officials have, too. The trouble is, neither side plans on reunifying on the other's terms. The border between the two countries is one of the most heavily militarized in the world, and shots were fired between the two armies as recently as October; the evidence overwhelmingly suggests that Seoul and Pyongyang don't exactly get along. South Korea is a young democracy and North Korea is an oppressive dictatorship. I can't begin to fathom how they would work out a viable government. But if they managed to do so, it probably wouldn't be a good thing. Democracy in South Korea is present but frail (especially given recent scandals involving corruption and abuse of authority), and it's only been around for a couple of generations. It's possible that its people have yet to develop a true democratic consciousness. Entering willingly into a federal government with North Korea would mean making concessions to a dictatorship that would certainly threaten the quality of its democracy. It would potentially extend the human rights abuses of the Kim regime to South Korean citizens. On the other hand, it would mean that South Korea would have the ability to help North Korea financially but still retain control and discretion over its own economy. This could help it to avoid the avalanche of financial burdens that would undoubtedly descend in the fourth scenario.

2. North Korea takes over South Korea. This scenario is almost (but not quite) as unlikely as the first. For starters, the international community would almost certainly take up arms in defense of the South, and there's no way the North has the military power to overcome the South and its allies. (It could be a truly terrible war, of course, especially if North Korea resorted to its nuclear arsenal, but I don't think it'd win.) If, however, western anti-war sentiment were strong enough to prevent an intervention from world powers in the US and Europe, or if China decided to throw its considerable military might behind North Korea, or [insert other possibilities here, including the desolation of the Americas by a Chicago-sized comet or an unexpected alien invasion], I suppose it's conceivable that the North might be able to take over the South. This mode of reunification would almost certainly be a REALLY TERRIBLE THING. Democracy in South Korea would collapse, insurgencies would break out, and hostility from the international community would be at an all-time high. The cost of unifying would be the expansion of human rights abuses and the breakdown of popular rule on the Korean peninsula. I don't know enough to predict what the economic consequences of such a move would be, but they might have something to do with Kim Jong-un seizing South Korea's increasing wealth for himself to build extravagant palaces or snuggle with at night à la Prince John in Robin Hood. There's a lot of evidence that South Korea's prosperity has stemmed from its democratic reforms and its increasing openness to international markets; if it were to suddenly revert to the extreme isolationism and protectionism of North Korea, the floodgates would close and its economy would stagnate.

3. South Korea takes over North Korea. This scenario is almost (but not quite) as unlikely as the second. We tried it in the 1950s, after all. But citizens of advanced democracies have grown increasingly wary of sending troops into battle, and we've learned our lesson about getting involved in land wars in Asia. South Korea is unlikely to attempt an invasion without international support. If, however, this terribly unlikely event were to take place, the consequences would involve all of those listed in the next scenario, plus any additional problems that may come from the resulting hostility to South Korean rule. This could include insurgencies, attempted coups, and full-scale engagements with the North Korean military. The whole operation suddenly gets a lot more expensive as soon as you have to send thousands of troops in to keep the peace. 

4. The Kim regime collapses of its own accord, and South Korea assumes control. This, more or less, is what happened in Germany, and it is certainly the most probable of the four. This fascinating article discusses at length why even a best-case-scenario reunification would be costly. As yayfulness mentioned to me, "One of the greatest fears in South Korea is the collapse of the regime in the North (almost as scary as its continued existence) because of the utter humanitarian crisis that it would create. Rather, the humanitarian crisis already exists, but the collapse would suddenly give South Korea both the ability and the duty to do something about it." We know that North Korea lacks the infrastructure to provide its citizens with basic healthcare, sanitation, and nutrition; were its citizens suddenly to fall under South Korean jurisdiction, the government would be overwhelmed with the immense task of bringing the northern areas up to par. It would create a huge source of stress on the economy.

tl;dr: Scenarios 1-3 are terrible, and scenario 4 is long and painful at best. Would it be worth it? If it meant that Korea turned into an Asian version of Germany, a bastion of democracy and economic strength in a fairly volatile region of the world, I'd say yes. But I'm not one of those who will have to foot the bill. 

Yours, &c.

Heidi Book

Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the difference between BYU Police Officers and Provo or any other Police Officers? I heard that if there was an emergency on campus you were supposed to call the BYU Police (801-422-2222) instead of 911, is that correct? If so, why? Do they still have the same rights and duties as other police officers? Can they pull you over? Arrest you? What about Security guards?

-Jimmy Felon

A:

Dear Felonius,

I called the police station dispatch and had a very pleasant conversation as I asked one of the women on duty your questions. 

She first observed that both Provo and BYU police departments are staffed with sworn officers. Utah state law states:

A law enforcement officer has statewide full-spectrum peace officer authority, but the authority extends to other counties, cities, or towns only when the officer is acting under Title 77, Chapter 9, Uniform Act on Fresh Pursuit, unless the law enforcement officer is employed by the state.

In essence, this means a Provo or BYU officer could legally make an arrest anywhere in the state of Utah if they were to witness a crime, as they are both state-employed officers. A police officer from another state—say, North Dakota—also has the right to pursue, arrest and detain someone in Utah if werf "enters this state in fresh pursuit and continues in fresh pursuit of a person in order to arrest him on the ground that he is reasonably believed to have committed a felony in another state."

That's all good and fun, but you asked me about BYU and Provo officers, not people from made-up places. While Provo and BYU are both are on equal legal footing, they have different jurisdictions. Police calls that take place on campus are in the jurisdiction of the BYU PD. If a call takes place off of campus, it occurs in the jurisdiction of the Provo police. The departments work closely together and officers from one department will assist the others as needed, perhaps to direct traffic at the site of an automobile accident or respond to a call that comes in at a busy time.

We'll use feral teenagers and honey badgers to help us understand the intricacies of this system:

Say I'm taking a leisurely stroll from the Board lair beneath the [redacted] on campus late one evening and go dumpster diving for some food. I find a box of inexplicably pristine turkey drumsticks—you know, the kind that make you feel like you're a super-cool caveman when you bite into one—and am chowing down happily. I make the mistake of walking too close to Helaman Halls and am instantly ambushed by a pack of feral EFY childrens rumored to have been running wild on the premises for several weeks. They sock me in the stomach, bludgeon me with blackjacks fashioned from bicycle handlebars and unceremoniously sink their snaggled teeth into every leg they find, bird and human alike.

Fortunately for me, a nearby couple breaks off their NCMO for a few moments. Noticing something out of the ordinary is threatening their remaining shreds of dignity—though they know not what— they call 911 and reach the Provo PD.  As the crime is playing out on BYU campus, it is in the jurisdiction of BYU's police department. The call to Provo is quickly redirected to BYU PD dispatch, who assigns an officer to respond to the call. After determining my location, the officer responds quickly and with a few judicious bursts of pepper spray is able to both disperse the freshmen and pleasantly season my turkey drumsticks. After brushing the dirt off the poultry pieces, I thank her kindly and continue off campus. I'm just a few blocks away from my off-campus apartment and walking along a stream when something rustles in the bushes.

I screech with fear, but I relax when I see it's just a small, furry animal. And just one, all alone and probably lost. "Aren't you cute," I tell it, offering it a smoked leg of poultry "Want a nibble?"
"You disgust me completely," says the honey badger in perfect King's English. "A half-eaten drumstick? What do you take me for, a college student?" the badger rasps in a voice not unlike Jack Nicholson. "No, I don't want your stupid food. But if you'll take out your wallet and smartphone and toss them this way, I'd be much obliged."
Mouthing soundlessly like a beached carp, I shake my head in disbelief.
"Whatsamatter, badger got your tongue?" The ratel chuckles at its own joke, the sound curiously like wet gravel crunching underfoot.
"No, I'm just..." I trail off at a loss for words. 
"Well, get on with it," snaps the honeyed thief impatiently. Then, with a touch more sweetness, "I've got to be at Devonshire at half past midnight, see."
Dumbly, I pull out my valuables and toss them in front of the furry felon. There's no helping it.
"Thanks, guv'nor."

At that moment, a sound like a dozen howler monkeys jacked up on Red Bull explodes out of the underbrush. "THE PARTY BUS IS COMING!" Dirty simian shapes dash from the undergrowth, grabbing me roughly and pulling me haplessly to the ground. The feral EFY tribe has tracked the all-natural hickory-smoked aroma of my unsheathed turkey drumstick, and this time there is murder in their eyes. They don't notice the honey badger, but one particularly dim-witted and gangly child crows in triumph as he hold my wallet and phone aloft. Another bandito slams my head down roughly against the asphalt, and as the stars clear from my vision I see the badger's eyes narrow ever so slightly, and a vein pulses angrily on its forehead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The next few minutes are a blur of screams, scratches, and shredded t-shirts, for no amount of teeny-boppers yelling "CHUBBY BUNNY" could ever be enough to counter the honey badger's furious attack. I manage to crawl to the safety of the bushes. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block out the sounds of destruction. I keep them shut for a long time. When I finally open them again, the Provo police are trying to coax a traumatized tween for information. All they get is a frightened fragment of a sentence: "...it takes what it wants!" squeals the lad, fear woven in his voice. It's fortunate the police showed up when they did, responding to an anonymous call complaining about "those darn kids making a ruckus outside." As the call took place outside BYU Campus, the Provo PD received it and responded accordingly. The battered feral children are captured and released safely into the wilds of Nevada where they are still rumored to roam.

As for the honey badger, it and a significant number of smartphones and wallets cannot be located. A warrant is posted for its arrest, but even the police know it is an exercise in futility. After all, honey badger don't care.

It takes what it wants.

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz 

Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the arguments for and against allowing the children on illegal immigrants to be citizens if they are born on US soil? I believe that the "if they're born here they're a citizen" policy is in the constitution (or am I mixing that up?) but beyond that I could use some pointers.

Thanks,

has an opinion but doesn't understand the other side

A:

Dear Reader,

I think your desire to understand the other side of an issue is fantastic. Let's start with some background:

First of all, you're right about the constitution: the first section of the fourteenth amendment does provide citizenship to all people born within U.S. jurisdiction:

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

In 1898, the Supreme Court overturned a portion of a law called the "Chinese Exclusion Act" that would have denied citizenship to Chinese immigrants who would otherwise qualify. That decision set the precedent for the interpretation of section 1 (often referred to as the "Citizenship Clause") that provided citizenship to nearly every person born within the United States. The historical purpose of section one was to prevent states from revoking or denying citizenship to people of color. However, Justice Horace Gray, writing for the majority, pointed out that the amendment's broad language did not provide any restrictions in bestowing citizenship to others as well:

It is declaratory in form, and enabling and extending in effect. Its main purpose doubtless was, as has been often recognized by this court, to establish the citizenship of free negroes, which had been denied in the opinion delivered by Chief Justice Taney in Dred Scott v. Sandford, and to put it beyond doubt that all blacks, as well as whites, born or naturalized within the jurisdiction of the United States are citizens of the United States... But the opening words, "All persons born," are general, not to say universal, restricted only by place and jurisdiction, and not by color or race...

I'm not sure what side of this issue you're on, so I'll provide a brief section both supporting and opposing the citizenship clause.

The Citizenship Clause is important and should be upheld.

Before we go any further, it might be helpful to remember that Church doctrine on this subject is that, although countries have every right to enforce their borders, the family unit (and individuals) must be treated with respect.

Even under our current immigration system our country clearly fails to live up to those goals. Illegal immigrants continue to arrive, often fleeing terrible circumstances in other countries. The difficulty of the journey here should be a testament to the desperation of these people. Literally hundreds die each year trying to get here. It's also worth keeping in mind - before you argue that people should simply immigrate legally - that unless you have money to get an education and then find an employer willing to spend thousands of dollars in attorneys fees to try and keep you here, or have a family member that lives here, there is essentially no legal immigration path for people coming from countries like Mexico. It's not a matter of "waiting in line" - there essentially is no line for these people to wait in

Once they get here, those that arrive do not enjoy the same protections that the rest of us do. This creates a second-class citizenry in our country. Even relatively simply tasks such as registering for public school, picking up prescriptions that require ID, or driving to work become difficult or impossible. Many of these people were brought here when they were young - often only two or three - and are culturally American. Imagine growing up in North Carolina but not being a legal citizen. The Church has to go through tremendous hoops to allow these people to serve missions. Despite what you may have heard, these people are not lazy. On the contrary, they are extremely hardworking people that often do jobs most Americans would never dream of doing in order to provide for their family. Nearly all of them would happily pay taxes, back taxes, and even a financial penalty if it meant legal status here.

At this point, you may, correctly, wonder what all this has to do with the citizenship clause. Even if I've successfully convinced you that the plight of these people needs attention, you might still be wondering why we can't simply grant legal status - but not citizenship - to those who are born here. My response to that is more moral than legal or political.

The citizenship clause gives hope to families here who cry at night afraid that they will be deported. It is a comfort to those that would otherwise believe where they were born will be a stain not only on their lives, but also their children's, grandchildren's and great-grandchildren's. It gives hope to the man who risked his very life to get here so his children would not be stuck in the world that he was. Most importantly, it prevents the sub-citizenry our country's immigration policy from becoming permanent and generational. Did these people break the law? Yes. Most did it to save the lives of their families. Will our own animus or prejudice as Americans force entire families into a cycle of poverty forever? Will we refuse to forgive them?

Haven't we all, at one time or another, approached the mercy seat and pleaded for grace? Haven't we wished, with all the energy of our souls for mercy, to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made and the sins we have committed? ...There is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment. ("The Merciful Obtain Mercy," Diter F. Uchtdorf)

Below, you will see "counter-argument" me argue that we can't fix the world. I agree. I recognize that illegal immigration is only a symptom of broader issues in the world, some of which our country simply doesn't have the power to solve. However, consistent with gospel principles, I do not believe this is an excuse. We are, both individually and as a country, morally obligated to do what we can to help our neighbor.

The Citizenship Clause is bad and should be repealed.

Although the above argument is a nice sentiment, it ignores the operational reality of a difficult and complex issue.

With every immigrant that comes to the United States, Mexico loses a person with skills, diversity, and abilities that could otherwise assist the country. Many citizens of this country, in supporting more liberal immigration legislation, often talk about their experiences meeting a young "bring, energetic, enthusiastic" individual who they wanted to be able succeed in life. This is indicative of the very problem illegal immigration causes. When we perpetuate policies that allow those with an economically bright future to come to the United States, we deprive Mexico of another individual who might otherwise have skills to assist the country. This is not the Gospel way - rather, we are encouraged to lift where we stand

There is no permanent solution to illegal immigration that does not involve improving the economic situation of our neighboring countries. Enforcement and stronger border patrol, in addition to being hugely expensive, have been only marginally successful at reducing the amount of immigrants coming illegally to the United States. So yes, any policy (including the citizenship clause) that encourages people to come here instead of remaining in their home country puts U.S. immigration policy on an unsustainable path.

This isn't an anti-immigration position. A big part of a sustainable immigration policy could, for example, include allowing younger people from impoverished countries to come here, get a high quality higher education, and then return to their home countries to use their education to improve their situation.

Finally, I want to push back against my other self's implication that we are morally obligated to allow people from struggling countries to come to the United States. My other self took a piece of Church doctrine designed for application to the individual and applied it to a government's situation. Doctrine that is intended for the individual, though it can teach us about how we should think about government and it's goals, can't always be directly applied to the actions elected officials take without some modification. Think, for example, about our Church's doctrine regarding war compared to how we think about an individual who choses to kill another.

Conclusion 

For the record, I personally believe that the citizenship clause should be upheld. Although I think there are plenty of operational difficulties with illegal immigration, I have much more sympathy for the first argument.

- Haleakalā