"Twenty-year-olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their oil filters. Which they should do more often." - House
Question #90432 posted on 10/02/2017 8:02 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

When I was trying to find an article on the library website, I encountered the "Page Not Found" page. While trying to piece together my sanity, I was informed that the Fail Quail had laid an Easter Egg! I was directed to the front page of the library website and informed to enter the age-old Konami code. Upon following my directed task, I was brought to a game by the title of "Wyrm".

Does this quail-born Easter Egg have any relation to the tunnel worms? Should I fear my safety in the library, especially because I'm a freshman? If there is a connection, should I fear all quails and their mighty wyrm laying powers? Does

-An Inquisitive Mind


Dear Truth-Seeker,

You are wise to seek out the direction of the board on any matters relating to the terrible tunnel worms. As you have quickly discovered, their traps are spread throughout campus, deviously awaiting their unsuspecting victims. Fall is a prosperous time for them, due to the large influx of unsuspecting freshmen. It would appear you have stumbled upon one of these snares.

In the library, extra caution must be taken. To enter the tunnels from the library, one must go through the basement. There, you must ascend a large ladder in a very confined space. It is a tiring climb that can only be made by one person at a time. Thus, a popular strategy of the tunnel worms is to draw students into the tunnels through this entrance. They then fall upon their exhausted prey as they emerge into the trap. DO NOT GO INTO THE BASEMENT. Library security guards this area zealously for your protection.

It is sobering news to find that the quails and the worms have come to some kind of agreement. I can only assume that the fail quail was blackmailed into this.

Be wary of any further attempts to lure you into a false sense of security.



Dear AIM,

First of all, thank you for being the provider of grades and transcripts. I look forward to our meetings at the end of every semester. While playing the game of Wyrm, take note of the number and spacing of the keystrokes. The astute listener will realize that this is well-disguised Persian morse code. Once translating this message into the Queen's English, ancient numerology techniques can be used to score letters, in which EVERY THIRD NUMBER IS IN FACT PART OF THE COORDINATE SYSTEM FOR THE TUNNEL WORM'S WRITHING LAIR DEEP BELOW THE FEET OF THE INNOCENTS WHO TROD ABOVE. 

It's true. All of it. I think the tunnel worms have watched Interstellar or something. 


The Lone Musketeer