I don't really trust a sane person. -Lyle Alzado
Question #90431 posted on 10/05/2017 7:50 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So recently my friend and I have noticed potatoes in and on statues. Is there some event going on involving these potatoes? We found one on the head of and in the pipe of the Massasoit statue as well as around other statues. Being curious, we took the potatoes and are holding onto them but if no one claims them then my friend said he can make some mean funeral potatoes(potatoes are in good condition).

-Curious, but hungry.

A:

Dear Curiongry,

As we discussed recently, these heinous acts of potato-placement are the work of none other than the nefarious POTATO FIEND. We do not know the identity nor the whereabouts of said fiend, but all the same we like to think we are hot on their trail. After the posting of that last answer, an intrepid Board reader (whom we'll call Zoodles) sent us pictures of further evidence of tuberic fiendery:

potatos2.jpg

potatos1rotated.jpg.png

(The library is one thing, but on top of the Tree of Wisdom statue? The nerve. Plus how did they even reach up that high?)

Similarly, Vienna informed us of the whereabouts of another one of these petulant potatoes on the East side of the ESC, which we then documented thoroughly (and by "thoroughly" I mean "by pointing at it with a very serious look on our face"):

potatobag.png

What with all these new acts of fiendery, we (Frère, Myself, and I) decided that this case was too big for one Rubik alone. We then decided to formally deputize both Zoodles and Vienna into the Federal Rubik of Investigation, and we are offering the same opportunity to the rest of y'all, the readers.

That's right: if you send us new information about the Potato Fiend, their whereabouts, or new acts of potato fiendery, by the power vested in me as Director, Chief Investigator, and Only Guy Who Empties the Ice Trays of the F.R.I., I officially deputize you as a member of aforementioned organization. This is complete with an official F.R.I. badge (designed by Yours, Truly) and knowledge of all of the secret handshakes and call signs of the organization (which are yet to be made up because I hadn't thought of that until Deputy Zoodles suggested it and I was like "Wow that's a really good idea!").

Constant vigilance, friends. If we work together, we may catch this Ne'er-Do-Well yet.

-Frère Rubik

P.S. Feel free to take the potatoes after you have documented them as evidence, but keep in mind that potatoes exposed to the cold may turn some of their starches into sugars, resulting in a much sweeter potato experience than you may have been anticipated.

Plus, I mean, y'all don't know where those potatoes have been, so keep that in mind.