"The 13th article of faith: a recipe for dating success. The ladies seek after these things *kisses biceps *" -Foreman
Question #90098 posted on 07/18/2017 11:56 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Are you truly cultured? Take this quiz based on Board question Board Question #90067 to find out how (truly) cultured you really are.

Mark all that apply

1. I have read
{ } Wilde { } Shakespeare { } Hugo { }Milton

2. I have attended
{ } Operas { } Symphonies

3. I am versed in the different styles of
{ } Picasso { } Van Gogh { } Rembrandt { } Michelangelo { } da Vinci

4. I am fluent in
{ } Latin { } Greek

5. I am steeped in the knowledge of these mythologies
{ } Egyptian { } Norse { } Asian { } Greek

6. I can discuss off the nuances of the philosophies of
{ } Socrates { } Plato { } Aristotle { } Descartes { } Spinoza { } Leibniz { } Kant

7. I am familiar with the works of
{ } Aquina { } Augustine { } Anselm

8. I
{ } know enough about historical artifacts to be a curator for a national museum

9. I study Memes
{ } Yes { } No, shamefully

Scoring: Take the total of marks for questions 1-8 and divide by 28. This is your percentage of culture. If you answered 9 as yes, your result would be "I am _% truly cultured". If you answered 9 as no, your answer would be "I am *_% cultured." The asterix shows that your culture isn't true culture, but rather a phony shell of lies

What did you all get?

-Boardfeed
PS. Readers feel free to play too!

A:

Dear you,

1. I have read
{*} Wilde {*} Shakespeare {*} Hugo { }Milton

2. I have attended
{*} Operas {*} Symphonies

3. I am versed in the different styles of
{*} Picasso {*} Van Gogh {*} Rembrandt {*} Michelangelo {*} da Vinci

4. I am fluent in
{ } Latin { } Greek

5. I am steeped in the knowledge of these mythologies
{*} Egyptian { } Norse { } Asian {*} Greek

6. I can discuss off the nuances of the philosophies of
{*} Socrates {*} Plato {*} Aristotle {*} Descartes { } Spinoza {*} Leibniz { } Kant

7. I am familiar with the works of
{ } Aquina {*} Augustine { } Anselm

8. I
{ } know enough about historical artifacts to be a curator for a national museum

9. I study Memes
{*} Yes { } No, shamefully

 

I am 64% cultured.

-Zedability

A:

Dear person,

1. I have read
{ } Wilde {*} Shakespeare { } Hugo { }Milton

2. I have attended
{*} Operas {*} Symphonies

3. I am versed in the different styles of 
{*} Picasso {*} Van Gogh {*} Rembrandt {*} Michelangelo {*} da Vinci

Note: I am not super versed but if you asked me to tell their works apart, could I? I think so. And could I tell you at least one general thing about their work? Yeah, except da Vinci, but he only made like 5 or 6 paintings so I think I could identify most of them.

4. I am fluent in
{ } Latin { } Greek

5. I am steeped in the knowledge of these mythologies
{ } Egyptian { } Norse { } Asian {*} Greek

Note: I mean, kind of. Greek mythology has so many stories and I don't know them all but I know a good chunk.

6. I can discuss off the nuances of the philosophies of 
{*} Socrates {*} Plato {*} Aristotle {*} Descartes {*} Spinoza {*} Leibniz {*} Kant 

Note: It depends what you mean by nuances. For example, I could tell you that Spinoza used axioms to derive his philosophy and that he thought that matter, mind, and God were all part of one whole, which is nature and her laws (pantheism). I could tell you that Leibniz believed in monads, something that is more basic than mind or matter, which are all synchronized and never interact with each other even though they appear to. And that he believed that God created the best possible world of all worlds. And that Kant in his Critique of Pure Reason was writing largely in response to David Hume's work on perception of causality and that he concluded that space and time are known a priori, non-empirically, and provide a structure for experience to exist in in the first place. But have I read every Platonic dialogue, know everything Aristotle or Descartes said, or know the nuance nuances of any of those people, particularly Spinoza, Leibniz, and Kant, who are all rather difficult to understand? Nope. I wish that I could though.

7. I am familiar with the works of 
{*} Aquinas {*} Augustine {*} Anselm

Note: Again, it depends what you mean by familiar. I have not read Summa Theologiae but I could tell you that in it he discusses his five proofs of God and that he uses essentially the same format for all of his arguments, and aspects of the works legacy. Likewise, with Anselm, I could tell you about what he is known for, but not all aspects of his ontological argument. I have read a bit more of Augustine than the others but more his biographical stuff, his philosophy stuff was boring and I skimmed a lot of it so I don't feel all that familiar with his work even though I understand his general impact.

8. I
{ } know enough about historical artifacts to be a curator for a national museum

9. I study Memes
{*} Yes { } No, shamefully

Note: What does this mean? I love memes but I don't know them all or study them academically.

Anyways, I guess that makes me 67% cultured. But do I actually feel all that familiar with these things? Not at all.

Maybe being cultured consists in knowing that I am uncultured?

-Sheebs, who thinks the above joke is pretty decent

PS, jokes: Apology, Emo Socrates 

A:

Dear Boardfed,

I'm glad you recognized my random list as all-inclusive criterion for cultured-ness. This is the best measure for culture there could possibly be.

1. I have read
{X} Wilde {X} Shakespeare {X} Hugo { }Milton

I keep on meaning to read Paradise Lost, but still haven't gotten around to it (it's been on my reading list for five years now).

2. I have attended
{X} Operas {X} Symphonies

3. I am versed in the different styles of 
{X} Picasso {X} Van Gogh {X} Rembrandt {X} Michelangelo {X} da Vinci

Through some total coincidence completely unrelated to the fact I was the one who originally wrote up this list, these are somehow the only artists that I'm familiar with. 

4. I am fluent in
{ } Latin { } Greek

Does the Greek alphabet count? Cause math and econ have given me fluency in that...

5. I am steeped in the knowledge of these mythologies
{x} Egyptian { } Norse { } Asian {X} Greek

Okay, I know only a little bit of Egyptian mythology, so that's marked with a little x to show I only get half the point. I am familiar with Greek, however. I read  The Odyssey first when I was in third grade, along with books like Jason and the Argonauts. Later, when I was in high school, I added to this knowledge by reading all of Metamorphosis, which is a compilation of Greek myths by Ovid.

6. I can discuss off the nuances of the philosophies of 
{X} Socrates {X} Plato {X} Aristotle {X} Descartes {X} Spinoza {X} Leibniz {X} Kant 

Yet another coincidence that the philosophers to appear on this list were ones I studied in my history of philosophy class... Also, I want to point out (but really explain) the strange phrase "discuss off". Originally, I had written "rattle off", but then decided 'discuss' was better than 'rattle', but forgot to delete the 'off'. Anyways.

7. I am familiar with the works of 
{X} Aquina {X} Augustine {X} Anselm

Okay, I'm not super familiar with Augustine, but again, these are people I've studied in my philosophy class.

8. I
{ } know enough about historical artifacts to be a curator for a national museum

Not even close

9. I study Memes
{ } Yes {X} No, shamefully

Confession time: I like memes, but only recently started actually looking at them. As in, since that Boardcast on memes. Yep. I approve, though, and promise to repent of my memeless ways and come into the light.

You got me. My supposed score of 76.79% cultured really is just a shell of shame and lies. But I am striving to peel away the lies and come to know true culture, i.e. memes.

~Anathema

A:

Dear friend,

1. I have read
{X} Wilde {X} Shakespeare {X} Hugo {X}Milton

The perks of being an English major, I guess. I know the least about Milton and have only read Paradise Lost, but I remember liking it. 

2. I have attended
{} Operas {X} Symphonies

Nope, no operas. Closest I've seen live is Phantom of the Opera, which is definitely a musical. I'm open to seeing one, though, so maybe someday. One time I heard Les Mis referred to as a "popera" since they only sing but I'm still going to assume that doesn't count.

3. I am versed in the different styles of 
{X} Picasso {X} Van Gogh {X} Rembrandt {X} Michelangelo {X} da Vinci

Probably too familiar with Van Gogh's style at this point... I need another hobby.

4. I am fluent in
{ } Latin { } Greek

Not fluent but I did take Latin I in high school. All I remember, though, is how to conjugate "amo" and how to say "the girl carries water." Puella portat aquam, if you're wondering.

5. I am steeped in the knowledge of these mythologies
{} Egyptian {X} Norse { } Asian {X} Greek

Thanks, Rick Riordan.

6. I can discuss off the nuances of the philosophies of 
{X} Socrates {X} Plato {X} Aristotle {X} Descartes { } Spinoza {} Leibniz {X} Kant 

It depends what you mean by discuss the nuances. I couldn't get very thorough about any of them but could tell you basic information and maybe how their beliefs differ.

7. I am familiar with the works of 
{X} Aquinas {X} Augustine {X} Anselm

Christian theology is another one of those things I probably enjoy too much and need a better hobby to replace reading about. Especially Medieval theology. It's a problem.

8. I know enough about historical artifacts to be a curator for a national museum { }

No. I probably have intern-level knowledge if working at the Van Gogh Museum but otherwise, not even close.

9. I study Memes
{X} Yes { } No, shamefully

I am an even 75% cultured, which feels higher than it should be but hey.

-Van Goff

A:

Dear Boardfeed

1. I have read
{X} Wilde {X} Shakespeare {X} Hugo { }Milton

When I say I've read them, I don't mean that I've read all of their works, but I've at least read some.

2. I have attended
{X} Operas {X} Symphonies

So in high school I was a member of our Symphony Club, because that's the sort of club the cool kids join. Every month we attended either a symphony or an opera, so I saw some good stuff that way. But the best part of Symphony Club was our t-shirts: a fermata on the front, with the words "Hold Me" written underneath.

3. I am versed in the different styles of 
{X} Picasso {X} Van Gogh {X} Rembrandt {X} Michelangelo {X} da Vinci

If by "versed" we mean I can at least differentiate between all of them, and would be able to tell you at least a few of their defining characteristics, then sure, we can say I'm "versed."

4. I am fluent in
{ } Latin { } Greek

5. I am steeped in the knowledge of these mythologies
{X} Egyptian { } Norse { } Asian {X} Greek

Saying that I'm steeped in the knowledge of those mythologies makes it sound like I'm a teabag being steeped in the swirling waters of mythology, and probably also makes it sound like I know more about them than I do. But I know at least a fair amount about these two mythological systems.

6. I can discuss off the nuances of the philosophies of 
{X} Socrates {X} Plato {X} Aristotle {X} Descartes { } Spinoza { } Leibniz {X} Kant 

This seems like a good place for my favorite Descartes joke, to reward anyone who's actually read through this far. So, Descartes walked into a bar, where the bartender asked, "Do you want a beer?" Descartes replied, "I think not," and then ceased to exist. Get it? I think not? Man I crack myself up.

7. I am familiar with the works of 
{ } Aquinas {X} Augustine { } Anselm

8. I know enough about historical artifacts to be a curator for a national museum
{X} 

I mean, I feel like this is demeaning to people who actually get degrees in curatorial studies, because there's no way I would compare against someone like that, and it definitely depends on what sort of museum we're talking about here. But I could probably hold my own at least somewhat decently in some museums.

9. I study Memes
{X} Yes { } No, shamefully

I am 67.9% cultured, but only marginally, because I was only barely able to answer yes to a lot of these. So I would say I'm a sham, but at least I know about memes.

-Alta

A:

Dear yosef,

This is one of those times where I feel incredibly uncultured around Board people. I'm hovering around 20%. 

Also, my friend called me an uncultured swine today because I've never been to Lagoon. I told her that wasn't true because I know things, and because I've been to Holiday World, which is maybe the same thing. She didn't like this and now we have plans to go to Lagoon. 

-AS

P.S. Van Goff pointed out that I am cultured in memes and that's the only category that matters, and Sheebs reminded me that Board people are ridiculous. Thanks guys. 

A:

Dear Boardfeed,

1. I have read
{ } Wilde {✓} Shakespeare { } Hugo { }Milton

I've been meaning to read Hugo and Milton, but right now I'm trying to find time to finish Anna Karenina. But I have read Cervantes, Dante, Tolstoy, Austen, Twain, and Tolkien, so those have to count for something, right?

2. I have attended
{✓} Operas {✓} Symphonies

I can't even count how many of these I've been to, so I don't need any qualifiers to say I've got this section covered.

3. I am versed in the different styles of 
{*} Picasso {*} Van Gogh { } Rembrandt {*} Michelangelo {*} da Vinci

I wouldn't call myself versed, but I can at least recognize a few paintings by each of them.

4. I am fluent in
{ } Latin { } Greek

No, but I am fluent in Spanish and halfway okay at German.

5. I am steeped in the knowledge of these mythologies
{✓} Egyptian {✓} Norse { } Asian {✓} Greek

Like Van Goff, thanks, Rick Riordan.

6. I can discuss off the nuances of the philosophies of 
{*} Socrates {*} Plato {*} Aristotle {*} Descartes { } Spinoza { } Leibniz { } Kant 

I took an Intro to Philosophy class back in 2011 and we talked about all of these guys, but I only remember a couple of things about them.

7. I am familiar with the works of 
{*} Aquina {*} Augustine {*} Anselm

These guys were also in my Intro to Philosophy class, but I remember even less about them.

8. I
{ } know enough about historical artifacts to be a curator for a national museum

No, but I have seen history of the entire world, i guess.

9. I study Memes
{✓} Yes { } No, shamefully

You know it.

-The Entomophagist