"Now I'm not only a Mormon cliché; I'm also a puppy." - Claudio
Question #89666 posted on 05/10/2017 3:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Sometimes I have a few days in a row where the desire to have sex is really, really, really strong, much more than usual. But it fades if I give in to masturbation. It feels like it's just a matter of time before I fail because it feels like I can't release it until I give in because it's so strong and it's there for days. What's a different way to deal with this? How do I get it to go away instead of just hoping (and failing) to outlast it?

A:

Dear Self-Control,

I think this sensation is fairly common, so don't think you are an anomaly or anything like that. Seriously though, the desire for sex is real and is good (you know, with the right person at the right time). I'm super glad that you asked this question because a lot of people struggle with containing their sexual desires. 

The tricky part is offering a different way of handling the urge to have sex because different people have different things that work for them. I would suggest exercising. When you exercise, your brain gets the dopamine high that it is looking for and it (hopefully) distracts your mind from thinking about sex. For me, exercise is always a good go to no matter what is causing my stress or is occupying my mind. 

Maybe doing spiritual things would help. I know people that have had huge successes overcoming the urge to masturbate through reading their scriptures faithfully, attending the temple, getting active in indexing/family history, etc. The blessings promised when we participate in these activities are wonderful and I believe that they are real.

My last word of advice is to be careful of the media entertainment that you view. If you are looking at stuff that turns your mind to sex, it will be harder to resist the urge to masturbate. This can be pornographic images, literature, movies, songs, etc. Or it can be simple things like a movie that seems harmless but has a few scenes with a sexy person doing sexy things and that could be a trigger. There can be a lot of things that get the mind revved up when it comes to sex, so be careful what media you consume.

Overall, you are normal and this is a normal thing that people have to figure out how to release. I hope my advice helps. If you need to talk about it more, my email address is open: sundaynightbanter@theboard.byu.edu

-Sunday Night Banter

A:

Dear you,

I don't know if you're male or female, but I've noticed my sex drive is a lot higher during certain stages of my menstrual cycle, so the moments when I most crave sex are usually predictable.

So my suggestion, if you're a woman, would be to keep track of the times when your sex drive feels elevated and see whether those times fall into any particular pattern. If so, it could be helpful for you to have an idea that you're likely to have a high sex drive in the next few days, and to know that it usually only lasts a few days.

Personally I use an app called Clue to keep track of my menstrual cycle and its side effects, and they do have an option to mark a high sex drive as a side effect. After a few months of monitoring, hopefully you should be able to see any patterns.

Love,

Luciana

posted on 05/10/2017 6:11 p.m.
To me, having sex reflects both a giving and receiving of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual emotions. (I'm married). So a higher sex drive may reflect a lack of balance between physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of our lives.


You've already been given good advice about what to do if the cause is physical or spiritual, but fixing the mental/emotional side is important.

So if you're a bit high-strung mentally/emotionally, I would suggest relaxing with some G-rated humor. (I use Disney's Phineas and Ferb and, on Sundays, humorous conference talks).

Best of luck! You can do it!

Much affection,

Cannon1234.