"Now I'm not only a Mormon cliché; I'm also a puppy." - Claudio
Question #89664 posted on 05/10/2017 11:52 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How would two BYU students who are engaged go about getting married in the middle of the semester (like October)? Due to scheduling stuff, August is too soon but December seems too long to wait. Our main concern is selling our contracts and buying/finding a new one together in the middle of the semester. How doable is this? Do any of you have experience with this? What other things will we need to think about?

-My Name Here

A:

Dear Benny and Nina,

I asked a friend who got married toward the end of winter semester last year. Before she and her husband left for their honeymoon, they thanked everyone and said something like, "Everyone told us it was crazy to get married in the middle of the semester. They were so right." But it's been over a year and they're currently galavanting about Europe and having a grand time. From her:

Doing stuff mid-semester is hard. The major advantages include generally cheaper booking prices, more venue availability, and BYU professors' general leniency for classes missed on account of eternal covenants. Most everything else may be a little rough.

First majorly important thing to consider is the people you most want to share the day with. Will parents and siblings and grandparents be able to make it if it's not during a conventional break? If getting married in October excludes your uncle who can't take time off to fly over, is that something you can handle? The most important part of getting married for many is the ordinance and the small handful of people they share it with, so if this is your priority, start talking with those you want involved asap.

Housing is also tough, but not impossible. My husband and I were lucky that we have a family member who lives close enough to Provo who was willing to let us occupy her basement until the end of the semester--and hence the end of many housing contracts--became available. There are a few places that rent out contracts on a month by month, not a semesterly, basis. Wymount is the only complex that comes immediately to mind. If it's not your cup of tea, you could end the contract as soon as others become available in December.

The next issue is school work. How willing are you to get a lower GPA this semester than others? When we were engaged, my husband and I figured we were invincible and took a full schedule with hard classes just like normal. But wedding planning when you want a full wedding with full reception, floral, etc. is a part time job in and of itself. We only saw each other from 11:30 to midnight each evening because that was how busy we were to balance everything. That made it really hard. If you have your heart set on getting married mid-semester, either be organized enough to have everything booked and planned before the semester starts or plan on a simple, no frills wedding (which, [unsolicited advice warning] now a year and some into our own marriage, I look back on and wish we'd done. All that really matters is the ceremony. I have a friend who understood this, so when she and her boyfriend decided to get married, they told their parents, booked the temple on a weekend when everyone could be in town, wore nice Sunday clothes, and didn't spend a dime on their experience. Props to them.).

Getting married mid semester is absolutely doable. I felt delightfully subversive as I avoided having to study for finals and do last-minute wedding planning simultaneously, and it's nice to not compete with other friends' wedding plans. But don't do it if you're not a thorough, exacting planner, or it will amount to more stress than you want to associate with the sacred experience.

Take care and take luck, 

-Auto Surf and friend

A:

Dear you,

You could rent a married apartment at the beginning of the semester, and one of you would live in it alone. This might not be completely kosher, but I have heard of people doing it.

This would cost more than if you both lived in singles housing up until your wedding day, then had your singles contract sold right after it. You would probably have to pay for the one singles apartment through the end of the semester, and married rent is a lot more expensive than singles' rent. But it's a common solution to this dilemma.

-Zedability

posted on 05/11/2017 3:28 p.m.
We totally did this. May I humbly submit thanksgiving break as an awesome time to get married? Maybe it's still too far off for you but it was so nice for many reasons. We didn't have to compete with Christmas and other people's weddings; we had some time to go in a short honeymoon and get settled without missing classes; and we didn't have to figure out which family to go to for our first thanksgiving because we were on our honeymoon. Awesome. Also if housing is an issue, there's only a month until the semester, so if you end up having to pay for a month of your single's contract or live in someone's basement or in an apartment further from campus it's not a huge deal. Also, may I second the recommendation to keep things super simple. It really doesn't matter in the long run and makes life so much easier. In fact if you have a family member who likes to plan and you can let go of the details, that's an excellent way to go. I let my mother plan most my reception and she loved it and I didn't have to deal with it. Lastly, if you are just avoiding August because it's not enough time to schedule a wedding, weddings don't have to be a process. My brother got married in august after getting engaged in June, it was beautiful, and they didn't have to deal with weird timing for housing. In other words, you have a lot of options. Good luck and congrats!