Dear 100 Hour Board,
I find myself in a new situation. That is, there's a girl that I'm fairly confident is interested in dating me, and I think I like her too. We went on a date yesterday, I enjoyed it, and I'm pretty sure she's open to another date. The only problem is that I was a lot more nervous on this date than other dates I've been on, and I wasn't sure what to say most of the time. I'm worried that this might continue to be a problem for me in future dates, especially since she seems more comfortable getting other people to talk about themselves, rather than talking about herself.
What are your best conversation topics for a date with someone that you've only known for a few weeks, and with whom most interaction has been playful teasing rather than actually getting to know them personally?
P.S. Bonus question, only if you feel like it, because I know there's a lot in the archives: What is your single best second date? I'm leaning heavily toward a short hike and a picnic for this one, since the weather's getting warmer.
Ha, I'm not sure how qualified I am to answer this considering topics I've talked about on dates include Googling what the largest spider is/sharing other random animal trivia I know, discussing why Mary is used as an intermediary between people and God in Catholicism, math factoids, and pretty much everything in between. Jumping to your second question, excluding high school, I've only ever been on one second date, so, yeah, probably take my advice with a grain of salt.
Possibly try asking her what things interest her, and run with that. Specifically try and find things you both have a passion for. Perhaps you can geek out about a certain book series, TV show, band, etc.
Well, I think this is probably even more than I'm truly qualified to say here, so I'm just going to sign off now.
Do something that maybe doesn't involve a lot of talking, necessarily.
The best second date I've been on was in a theme park--admittedly not a simple date that most people can afford, but it did allow a nice break in conversation for two people who didn't like talking about themselves.
Doing something active like that which necessitates some silence or requires concentration can help relieve some of the pressure of getting to know one another. That could be an arcade or a board game or any number of activities, depending on what appeals to you.
It sounds like you're interested in her, more so than you have been with other girls you've gone on dates with (which could be why you were so nervous). So, since the other writers have addressed your questions, let me leave you with some immortal words:
"When you're wondering what to say or how you look, just remember, she's already out with you. That means she said yes when she could have said no. That means she made a plan when she could have just blown you off. So that means it's no longer your job to make her like you. It's your job not to mess it up."
-Alexander Hitchins, 2005
And you mess it up by not being yourself.
You got this, buddy. Try not to psych yourself out too much.
One of my friends showed me this 36 Questions thing one time to get to know someone on a really deep level. Supposedly if you ask each other all 36, you're increasingly more likely to fall in love. It couldn't hurt, right? There's a conversation starter for you. Unless that's weird. But you could always keep the questions in mind in case you run out of things to say because some of them are pretty interesting.
My dating history is another one of those things that can be summed up with the phrase "hello darkness my old friend" so we're not going to go there. Just have the conversation suggestion and leave me to wallow in the flaming wreckage that is my romantic life.