"Kissing versus bacon? Honestly, I don't know which I'd choose." - Optimistic.
Question #89623 posted on 05/04/2017 11:50 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Good afternoon! Could we interest you in some...chocolate?

-Sponge Bob and Patrick

A:

Dear boys,

Thanks for the offer, but I actually have a No Soliciting sign so if you could just get of my porch— 

Oh, well that's sorta polite but sorta meany-nicey for you to say you wouldn't have knocked if there was a sign. But hey, you're right, apparently the sign is no longer here. 

Anyway, still not a fan of soliciting so— 

You "don't consider it soliciting if it's a good product," yet you wouldn't have knocked had I a no soliciting sign? I spy some inconsistency, boys. Do you want to get off my porch? 

Yeah, okay well maybe my life would be better with some chocolate, but I don't really have a lot of money or general means that allow me to care too much but, hey, there will always be chocolate (even if it's not your chocolate) so I'm sorry you're not going to make this sale, but such is life. I hope both of our lives can be better than this moment. 

Peace,

-Auto Surf did not enjoy her recent encounter with a solar panel salesman. 

A:

Dear you,

Because someone has to be that guy:

chocolate.gif

(source)

~Dr. Occam