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Question #89342 posted on 04/20/2017 5:09 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have a terrible memory, so any help would be great. Someone once told me about a little saying or "rule", which I believe pertained to safe dating.

It had three parts to it, and supposedly, a couple ought to follow at least any two of the three items while with each other to be on the safe side, (or that following NONE of the three was a bad idea) but I can't remember what all three were.

I believe one might have been "Don't be in the dark," while anoter might have been something like "Don't be completely alone..." Does anyone know what I'm referring to? If not that's all right, but it didn't hurt to ask...

-Just anonymous.


Dear Just Anonymous.,

I've been racking my brain here and I think I might be able to help you out. I recall a similar set of rules from my more youthful days and I seem to remember them being an unofficial summary of For the Strength of Youth, or something like that. Here it goes: 

You weren't supposed to have any physical contact between the shoulders to the knees (and keep a "Book of Mormon" distance when slow-dancing- this one always cracked me up), you weren't supposed to ever be alone (as you mentioned, but more specifically I recall a heavy emphasis on group dating and staying in public places) and always stay in an upright position (never recline, like on a couch if you're watching a movie or something). These were the main three that are coming back to me. Again, as you mentioned, I also remember being taught in church/Young Women's to avoid dark places and to never kiss anywhere but the face.

Now, for my two cents, it's been a good while since I was in Young Women's and I recall some of the lessons/advice I was given to be on the more antiquated side. Technology aside, things are much different now than they used to be and I think such specific, strict rules may not be the best way to get your real message across. From my experience as a youth Sunday School teacher, rather than listing all the "should nots" and "absolutely nots" I've found it to be more beneficial to focus on the positives, such as building your self-worth, fortifying your beliefs/morals and increasing your understanding of the Atonement.

Okay, that's enough unsolicited advice from me. I hope I've been able to at least jog your memory.

-Sky Bones 

posted on 04/20/2017 6:15 p.m.
The ideas you're thinking of probably came from this talk:

posted on 04/20/2017 6:15 p.m.
I know this one! The items are:

Be comfy-cozy
Be alone
Be in the dark

The "rule" states that you may pick two. I personally never pick more than one, because this is something that I struggle with.