Dear 100 Hour Board,
Is putting a slightly photoshopped photo on a dating site dishonest? Would you be disappointed if you met up with someone and they looked slightly different than their picture?
-My nym here
Dear MNH MNH,
As someone who is probably the furthest one could get from a dating expert, I think it depends on how photoshopped we're talking. Putting up an image with an Instagram or Snapchat filter? Probably okay. But if you're photoshopping to the point where the actual person and the image don't really look like the same person anymore, it's probably not a good idea. I don't know what qualifies as slightly photoshopped, but making sure the photo still bears a strong resemblance to you is probably a good idea.
If I met up with someone who looked super different from their picture to the point where it's clearly photoshopped, I don't think I'd be disappointed. I'd just be a little uncomfortable. It seems like if they're already trying to hide their insecurities and aren't willing to be open from the start, that could be a bad sign for the rest of the relationship. But if it's just slight, I don't know if I'd even notice.
I would say it is dishonest. I would be worried that you aren't comfortable with how you really look. I don't think I would be disappointed at the looks, I would be disappointed that you thought you had to change yourself in order to get dates.
Just be yourself because YOU rock! Go you!
-Sunday Night Banter
Photoshop is an important part of photography. I'm talking the color correction side of things. When a camera takes a picture, it guesses at all sorts of things, such as exposure, white balance, etc. No matter how good your camera is, it will never look quite like reality because it can't get those settings just right like a person can. Manual post-processing is crucial to getting a really good photo, and is a subtle and delicate art. But the trick is always this: "Don't get caught." If color correction gets to the point that it's noticeable, you weren't doing it right.
I'm not sure what you meant by photoshopped in your question. I tweak color, exposure, contrast, and so on in any photo I care about to get it to look right. There's nothing inherently more "real" about an unfiltered photo since it's all processed by the camera anyway. But if you meant changing proportions or removing freckles, that is likely going a bit too far. Be careful.
Having said all this, here's my #1 photography tip: Don't take photos too close to your face! Back up and zoom! Being too close makes your nose look huge and your cheeks look squashed. For some reason it happens all the time though.
Sorry for the rant. Good luck dating!