"It's not spiders I dislike, just people." -Petra
Question #88977 posted on 02/14/2017 7:16 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Often my roommates will ask me for a small favor. I say yes. The favor itself shouldn't bother me because most of the time I consider myself a generous person (and others have told me this too). However, it still sometimes feels annoying to me. I know that Christ wouldn't feel annoyed, or compare who had done the most favors recently, etc. How do I push past the selfish feelings?

-My Name Here

A:

Dear person,

If I felt compelled to say yes to every favour someone asked of me, I would feel very resentful. So sometimes I say no. Then when I do say yes, I am less likely to feel resentful.

I think there are definitely times when I should do a favour when asked, like when someone is in trouble or when it pertains to something or someone that I am responsible for in some way. But if it's just a matter of someone else's convenience, I reserve the right to say no to doing something if I don't want to do it. I try to pay attention to feelings of not wanting to do something because often it's not my selfishness giving rise to it as much as my own stress, exhaustion, or feeling of being used by the other person.

I think for people who are generous by nature it can be hard for them not to run faster than they have strength. I don't know your situation and I don't think that doing favours for others is bad, but balance is important too.

-Sheebs