"Reversal of fortune? No way. Reversal of skill." -Uffish Thought
Question #88904 posted on 02/05/2017 8:22 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, yesterday I asked out a girl. (Cue a little more excitement and surprise than I think that statement merits.) It made wonder: board ladies, when a guy asks you out (or when they used to ask you out before you married one of them), did you normally tell your roommates and then have a discussion about it? The guy, the interest level, etc. How much does this happen in the average girl's apartment? I know that it depends on who the roommates are and how close the girls are to each other, but just as a ballpark estimate. It just made me feel kind of odd imagining the girl going home and telling all her roommates about it and them having a discussion that I'm completely unaware of.

Dating is weird, right?

-The Gentleman in Black

A:

Dear Gentleman,

Oh yes. There is at least one discussion, usually several. How you know the guy, how he asked you out, if you like him, if he likes you, what you are doing for the date, and how you feel about the whole situation are the usual topics of conversation, along with a brief facebook stalking of the man in question. In fact, we find it slightly shocking and offensive in my apartment if one of us doesn't share the news before the date. So yes, there are multiple conversations going on that you don't know about. To be fair, going on dates isn't an every-weekend occurrence in my apartment, so perhaps in other apartments where dates are more commonplace they are discussed less.

I hope you enjoy the date and wondering what her roommates think of you!

-the Goose Girl

A:

Dear Ninja,

I did that my freshman year, but anymore I generally only mention dates in passing. As in, if someone asks me what I've done recently, I'll bring up the fact that I went on a date (maybe), but not go into further detail unless specifically asked (I'm pretty sure I go into much more detail when talking about my math homework...). However, in the hypothetical situation where I go on a date with a guy I'm really interested in (or if a date itself is particularly fun/interesting) then I'll definitely talk about it more. On the flip side, if a date is hilariously terrible, then I'll also relate it a lot.

~Anathema

A:

Dear Gentleman,

Congratulations! I hope your date went wonderfully (if it's happened already). If it's still in the future, best of luck.

Back before I was engaged, how much I would talk about getting asked out really depended on who was doing the asking out.

If a guy I was really interested in asked me on a date, my roommates would know as soon as I got home, and our discussion would be something along the lines of planning what I would wear to our date and hypothesizing about whether he liked me or not and why we thought that. I'm also a notoriously awkward person who's really bad at flirting, so I might have begged for flirting advice occasionally from my roommates if I was really nervous/excited for the date. Basically it was general, "Ooh, I'm so excited, I like this guy so much!" stuff.

If I was asked out by someone who I was pretty sure was interested in me, but I wasn't interested in him, I would also bring it up with my roommates. However, this discussion was more like, "Oh no, this guy asked me out again, what do I do? When is the best time to tell him I'm not interested?"

I generally talked the least about guys who asked me out, but there was no clear and obvious interest on behalf of either one of us. I would still probably at least mention it in passing to my roommates while talking about weekend plans or something. My roommates might ask me a few questions to gauge my interest levels, but if it was clear there was nothing there, they wouldn't really pursue a conversation about the guy or the date. The one exception to this is if a guy I wasn't interested in asked me to do something that seemed exceptionally fun or creative, because then we would talk about how great the activity sounded.

Guys who seemed really weird or asked me out in a really odd way generally got the longest discussions devoted to them. And when I say really weird, I mean REALLY weird, not just somebody who seemed nervous or a little awkward. That may seem unfair to all the normal people asking girls out, but there's something abut a good train-wreck of a date that really lends itself to gossip (is it gossip if it's about your own life?). This, however, was the bad sort of conversation, where I would recount the horrifically awkward way I got asked out, express how nervous I was for the date, and then we would conjecture about what sort of strange things might happen on the date. This was also the most uncommon, because it takes a lot for me to think a guy is a real weirdo to the point that I'll talk about it with others.

Oh, and when my roommates would set me up with someone I would talk about the upcoming date a lot with them (and I would go over the results in detail with the roommate who had arranged the set up, as well). That didn't happen very frequently, but one time I had a weird spree where I forced every single one of my roommates to set me up with at least one person each, and that entailed a lot of discussions with my roommates about all the different guys I was suddenly going on dates with. 

If you're wondering what level of conversation might occur after your date with this lovely lady, it basically follows the same guidelines as seen above. If the guy or the activity was absolutely phenomenal and I was very interested, I would talk a lot about the date (this include times when I realized on the date that I was more interested than previously thought). If the guy was super weird, I would laugh a lot about the date. And if everything was pretty standard, I would mention it, but it usually wouldn't spark much more conversation than that.

-Alta