Dear Female Writers of the 100 Hour Board,
Do you remember that activity you did as young women in which you made a list of desired attributes for your future eternal companion? As you made your transition from girlhood to womanhood, acquiring life experience along the way, how has that list evolved?
Nope, never did that activity.
I don't remember an exact list, but I've noticed my ideals changing. Instead of looking for the end result, I'm looking for the journey. I no longer expect perfection, but rather someone who is diligently trying to be their best in whatever various aspect it be. It kind of mirrors what I've come to expect from myself.
Also his face has to occasionally light up when he sees me.
That is all.
-the Goose Girl
I do indeed recall that activity. From what I can remember of that list, the must-have attributes I came up with were:
- Couldn't be younger than me.
- Taller than me.
- Worthy to enter the temple/worthy priesthood holder.
- Sense of humor.
- Loves me.
I'd say this list generally still stands. However, if I do happen to fall in love with someone shorter and younger than me, I'm not going to reject them based on that criteria. (Falling in love with someone younger than me is pretty unlikely, though, considering all the guys I interact with are usually a bare minimum of two years older than me.)
I did one. I'm not going to go find it right now, though I still have it somewhere, I think. One of the biggest things that I think changed over time for me in dating was realizing how important it was to date someone who was nice.
I think "nice" is a word that gets it kind of rough: people say "nice" when they really just mean "mediocre" or "not mean." As I dated, I figured out that being with someone who is actually affirmatively nice (kind, caring, patient, etc.) is really important to me. It matters to me that my husband is tender. It matters to me that he isn't mean to other people, or even overly contentious. It matters to me that he isn't someone you'd be afraid to ask for help (or think you wouldn't get it).
"Nice" may have been on my list, or it may have just been something I took for granted, but I think that being nice matters a lot and we don't give it the credit it deserves.