Dear 100 Hour Board,
I'm in the computer lab right now and this girl next to me and her boyfriend who is crawling all over her won't shut up. How can I get them to stop? She's pretty hot, so if me kissing her is part of your suggestion I'll gladly accept.
- Certainly Annoyed
Turn to them, and say loudly (so everyone can hear, and will look at them, causing embarrassment) "GET A ROOM!"
You could also scream "It was you two I saw on that internet site."
Announce in a conversational yell: "Excuse me, but if this were a designated make-out spot, they'd have called it the 'Pay Per View' lab, not the 'Open Access' lab. So will the two of you please go get a room so the rest of us can get some work done?"