If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone. –Jack Handey
Question #29109 posted on 02/05/2002 midnight
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I heard that there's a nuclear reactor on campus. My question is twofold. Where do they release the heat generated? And, does this have anything to do with the vent by the SWKT that I enjoy all the time? Am I getting irradiated?!

-Concerned Citizen

A: Concerned citizen:

There is no need to worry; there is not a nuclear reactor on campus. The fact that all of the little BYU babies are perfectly normal is a witness to that. There is a small-scale particle accelerator beneath the SWKT and the heat generated from that is released in the vent. No radiation is given off, in fact the only environmental hazard on campus is all of the asbestos in the SFLC.

—The Captain
A: Dear Citizen,

There is not a nuclear reactor on campus, though there used to be one (you can call 378-2586 for details). This means there is no heat generated, and has nothing to do with the SWKT vent; all the conspicuous vent-standers trying to heat themselves up during the winter need not fear radiation. The smell, however, is a different story.

—M. Burns