"He's only mostly retired. See, there's a difference between being mostly retired and all retired."
Question #26908 posted on 01/27/2003 midnight
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,
What would the world be like if George Washington had never been born?
--Not a big fan of cherry trees

A: Dearest Cherry tree Hater,
Chances are we wouldn't pledge allegiance to the "Star Spangled Banner" were it not for G.W. A vast majority of the senators who signed the Constitution wouldn't have even shown up, were they not promised that Washington would be there. He was vital to the success of the American Revolution. At one point during the war, with Washington away from his home, the British sailed their ships up river, less than 100 yards from General Washington's Mt. Vernon home. As they charged the home, bent on destroying it, one of Washington's servants ran out and offered the enemy food and supplies if they would spare the home and the large ranch upon which it sat, which of course the Brits accepted. Upon returning home and learning what had occurred, Washington told his servant; "I would rather you'd let them burn everything to the ground, than to give one bit of aid to the British." Our country's first president was a noble man. Upon hearing what his friends, colleagues, and all who knew him had to say about him, it's impossible not to notice the similarities in his personality with the Prophet Joseph Smith's. "Blasphemy!" You cry, to compare a president to the Prophet. Perhaps. But I find it interesting that among the very few pieces of art in the Smith home was a portrait of George Washington, hung in a prominent location. But aside from all of that boring historical nonsense, the obvious reason that the world would be worse off had Washington never been born is this: Bill Clinton would probably still be the President (shudder--The 2 term limit was established by Washington). And who else would you put on our US currency? Clinton on the quarter, and Nixon on the dollar?
--Thor