Some folks are wise and some are otherwise. -Tobias Smollett
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So did Abraham Lincoln really say that if you are a racist, I will attack you with the north?

- Diversity Tomorrow

A: Dear Diversity Tomorrow...because today is almost over,

No, he did not. But if you try and hurt Mozart, you're going to get a bullet to your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

--Dwight Schrute