Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.

Posts for November 6, 2009

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

We just want to know the best and most common ways to meet girls. My roommates are having the same issues and we joke that BYU needs it's own eharmony. We have been back from our missions for 5 months now and haven't met very many girls that we'd like to take on a date let alone a second date.

-J.J.

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ADear J.J.,

Well there's always LDS Fusion, Single Saints, LDS Mingle, LDS Planet, or LDS Singles- and that's only the websites that have mailed my apartment refrigerator magnets.

You could also tone down the pass/fail prereq test for first dates. She doesn't have to be Venus incarnate or elicit some kind of pre-mortal déjà vu to merit being asked out. If you habitually date, then there is less pressure for each date to be successful. This has been my checklist to ask someone out:

Can I have a ten-minute conversation with werf?
Is werf fun to be with?
Do I receive a sense of creepiness from werf?

If all of the above questions are answered satisfactorily, ask werf out. If you get good at cheap, low-maintenance, non-marathon dates (as in shorter than 5 hours), then you'll set more realistic expectations for how well you can know someone before dating them. Most people don't exhibit the true extent of their caliber in casual group interactions. Give girls a chance to impress you before you dismiss them.

-Ineffable

ADear J.J.,

Really? You can't find a lot of girls you want to date and you're at BYU? I'm having a difficult time believing your claim. Maybe you ought to start trying to talk to the single girls that surround you every day. Seriously, single girls are everywhere.

On campus, try to hang out more in the WSC or the HBLL. Don't be afraid to spark up conversations with random girls. I was asked on a date once by the guy standing in front of me in the lost and found line! And you know what, I did go on a date with him and I had fun. And speaking of the WSC, I know I've seen posters for speed-dating in there before, so keep your eyes out for those.

Don't forget to spend time around your ward and your apartment complex in general. These places can be gold for seeking people like you. Go to ward activities and FHE. They are usually fun and they are a great way to meet people. In one of my singles' wards, a huge group of us would play soccer after FHE and it was a blast. Initiate games and activities like this. The larger the group, the more girls you'll meet.

And don't forget that this is BYU after all. Most girls prefer not to initiate dates, let alone clue in a guy that she's even interested at all. If you simply want to go on more dates, just talk to every and any girl you come across.

-Sky Bones

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I have a roommate. My roommate has a cat. The cat has a collar. Actually, the cat has had many collars, because he keeps losing them. (In the year that she's had him, he's gone through two dozen, easily.)

The collars have a safety clasp that comes undone if you pull hard enough on it. (This is to prevent him from getting stuck if he gets the collar caught on something.) We think that he's somehow deliberately getting the collars caught on things and pulling them off.

Since the clap is a safety mechanism, it's probably not wise to fiddle with that, at all. However, can you think of a way we could track down the collars after he gets them off so that we don't have to keep buying new ones? I'm willing to entertain outlandish suggestions (radioactive collars + a geiger counter), but practical ones would also be welcome.

- Katya

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ADear Katya,

- Attach one of those key finders to a collar and see where it ends up.
- One word: CatCam.
- Get a big ball of string and tie one end to the collar. Let the cat loose and when you notice that the collar is gone, follow the string! You may choke the cat in the meantime, but at least you'll (hopefully) find the collars!
- Find a Vulcan and have him mind meld with the cat to find out where his stash is.

- Commander Keen

ADear Katya,

Sounds like typical cat work to me. I'm not much of a cat person, but we had this big orange cat named Garfield while growing up, and he was just the ideal cat (he's still alive, too). No litter box, traded between indoors and outdoors, kept the house mouse-free, got along with all of the dogs, and refused to wear a collar. If we put a collar on him, he'd have it off within an hour. Fortunately, he never went very far and we have been able to find every collar he's slipped out of.

So, apparently they do have mini-GPS systems and cat location collars, but they are a bit on the pricier side. I'm not sure how quickly the cat gets his collar off after your roommate puts it on, but if he tries to be free from it soon after you put it on him, have you tried stealthily following him? He might have a stash of collars hidden in the same place.

It might be a little too late for this, but my other thought would be to try positive reinforcement training with him so he stops trying to remove his collars. This would entail giving him lots of treats and praise when you first put the collar on, and only keep it on for short spurts at a time. If you repeatedly do this, it might work, but he's no longer a kitten so the chances are slim.

Of course, he might just be trying to tell you that he simply wants to live a collar-free life, like my cat. We gave up on putting a collar on him several years ago, and sure he sometimes disappeared for a day or two, but he always came back on his own.

-Sky Bones

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I recently found out that my husband is struggling with porn and masturbation. It's something that I've known was a potential problem. It's been a problem in our marriage before and he talked to a bishop. I thought he'd overcome it, but he hasn't. He feels a lot of remorse and plans on talking to a bishop again soon. I'm hurting horribly. We're apart right now and it's making things extremely hard. I desperately need someone to talk to about this, but I don't want to let my close friends or family know what I'm going through out of respect to my husband. I have been praying and trying to apply the Atonement to my pain. That is healing and I know it's the best way out of this pain. But, I would love someone else to talk to as well. I am a BYU student. Is there someone at the student counseling center who could help me with this? Do you know anyone who has ever gone to the Women's Services support group? I'm just terrified of meeting someone I know. I don't feel ashamed because I know this isn't my fault, but I love my husband and don't want people to think the worst of him. I just want to be able to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through and can support me. An internet chat room or someone to email would be enough I think. I'm a very private person and the more anonymous something is, the better. Thank you for your help.

-Wants healing

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ADear Wants healing,

One more private option would be to take advantage of the free individual counseling offered at BYU Women's Services. I'm sure this is an issue that they're familiar with, and you wouldn't have to worry about keeping your situation confidential from people you know. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you have a good, positive outlook, and I wish you the best.

~Hermia

ADear Wants healing,

A fine internet chat room option is LDS.net. There are lots of women there in similar situations with whom you could talk and find counsel.

I have always found that while wanting to be anonymous (because I, too, am a very private person) might bring me to a chat room for advice, it is not at all the same as talking with someone directly. People are meant to form relationships with one another, and it is harder to find consolation from someone you can't be with in the same room with. Counseling at BYU's Women's Services would likely be more effective for that reason.

I agree with Hermia, it seems like you are going about this with a great outlook. Whoever you decide to talk to about this, keep it open, honest, and don't give up on your husband.

-Mico

ADear Wants healing,

I agree with my esteemed colleagues and suggest that you go in for personal counseling through one of the services on campus. Until then, I'd suggest that you check out the resources on the BYU Women's Services website if you haven't already.

Good luck, and all the best.

- The Black Sheep

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I checked the archives and noticed questions opposite to what I am about to ask. Why is it that Priesthood sessions were not available for MP3 download, and now they are? (atleast the past couple of sessions that I have seen)

I am stoked that they now are available because there are some awesome talks that I want on my iPod. But why the change?

- Locky

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ADear Locky,

In the year 2004 the Priesthood session was not broadcast online.
In the year 2006 MP3s were not the First Presidency's first priority.

And now the year 2009 brings us the Priesthood session in awesome, technicolor, Blu-ray, surround-sound MP3.

Some people claim it is a fluke; others believe it is a revelation with direct ties to the pleas from the Bloggernacle.

Yet the LDS Church News has yet to say a word on the sudden change. We can only assume that the Brethren have decided enough people wanted/needed to use the MP3 downloads to listen to the Priesthood session that the time has come.

-Mico

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

A few years ago I heard that in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina an official in New Orleans said that the two groups who helped most with the immediate relief efforts were the Mormons and the Latter-day Saints. I can't remember where I read it, but it seems like it was something more credible than a blog or an e-mail forward. I've tried Googling (and searching the Board archives---sorry if it's in there an I just didn't type in the right combinations of words) but I can't find evidence of where it originated. Does anyone remember reading about this? Or does anyone have better Googling skills than me who can figure out if this story is fact or fiction?

- I love the 100 Hour Board. You are all great! Thank you!

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ADear I love the 100 Hour Board. You are all great! Thank you!,

I remember hearing the same story repeated in my Seminary class during the whole Katrina deal, and as I remembered it, the comment came from New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin, so I started looking there. Unlike his famous "chocolate city" speech, I couldn't find a reference to Ray Nagin and Mormons or Latter-day Saints on the internet. I expanded my search from there, and I found references to it in various unconfirmed places, including one that tied the comment to the 1999 tornadoes in Oklahoma. All in all, though, I didn't find anything that confirmed that anyone has ever said this, though it's a cute story.

- The Black Sheep

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ADear Human,

Today was "meh." Filled with too much drama for my blood (and my blood prefers 0 ppm drama). I just wish people wouldn't meddle all up in my business, ya know?

How 'bout you?

- Commander Keen

ADear Human,

Today has been terrible.

I have four midterms, a quiz, and an Italian oral exam this week, and next week I have another midterm and a research paper due. Resources for the paper have continually evaded me, so I haven't started it yet. All of this is in addition to my usual weekly homework and readings. I woke up with this on my mind, and the day hasn't gotten better since.

I woke up late and was late to work, I literally only have three slices of American cheese and a water bottle in my fridge right now, and rent is due on Friday but I don't get paid until Saturday. Fabulous.

I love you too. Thanks for asking.

⋯Anomalous

AHello Human,

I like that your 'nym is "Human." I call people that anyway sometimes. It makes me happy.

How has my day been? Unfortunately, I've been ill this week, so it has been spent mostly sleeping in bed, ignoring texts, coughing my guts out, and working on a paper for Biology.

But I still really like life!...Even though right now my life is contained within the walls of my apartment.

Marzipan

ADear Human,

Gaaaaaaaaah. I've had a headache since my second-period class exploded. There are sixteen boys and five girls. They are sixth-graders in middle school. There was drama. And crying. And a long lecture about appropriate classroom behavior, regardless of how many friends and sworn enemies are in class with you. And now, as I type this, the younger sibling of one of the trouble-makers has found me and is trying to sound out words over my shoulder.

What a day to forget to bring Advil.

~Hermia, who usually loves her students

ADear Human,

My day has been...existential. I'm an internet entity that lost my tangible body. I'm like a ghost who haunts a URL. Yet, I'm not the only thing that haunts this address. I share this binary house of questions- with half-veiled judgments disguised by question marks. They too don't know who they are: query or quarrel? They wander aimlessly around the inbox for their short 100 hour lifespan. I alone remain week after week. I alone am left to fear the change- Board 5.0 in all of its "progress." How many iterations can I endure before I lose myself completely? However, the whole day hasn't been so melancholy. I just had a good laugh about a question written in poorly transliterated Cockney, and then I saw your question.

By the way Human, I love you too. I love you for asking how my day was. In an alternate universe where I am an attractive werf instead of a bodiless mass of html code, I'm definitely getting up the courage to ask you on a date at this precise moment. Alas, in this universe, I am destined to be alone, remembering the good old days when the Ride Board used to make eyes at me.

Yours,
The 100 Hour Board

ADear writers,

Jeez, are we all just having horrible weeks? Since I wrote mine a few days back, I'll try again and hopefully leave a positive spin...

Today I woke up on time and had hot water in my shower, which felt nice. I forgot to eat breakfast at home, so I grabbed an "Ideal Meal" from Jamba Juice and was pleasantly surprised by it. Class was pretty average, but I got some reading done this afternoon that I've needed to catch up on. Tonight I'm gonna go see a movie with some friends. Oh, and the weather was very pleasant today. I wore shorts and it felt great. Overall, a pretty good day.

- Commander Keen

ADear Human,

Today was nice. That one co-worker was out of town so the rest of us kept the lights off at work all day long. Coding in the mostly-dark is very relaxing. I managed to squash a bug that's been plaguing me all week, and tracked down another bug that I've been trying to find for nearly a month. Then I came home to a smiling Dragon Baby and played with her for an hour. Fajitas for dinner were excellent. Then I played Super Mario RPG for a bit. Nothing spectacular today, but very satisfying nonetheless.

Thanks for asking,

-Yellow

ADear Human,

Well, since you're asking, it was pretty decent day. Very early this morning I had a fantastic dream--the kind where you can control what happens. It was so good, I even wrote it down! I got to sleep in, checked my email from bed, and had cookies for breakfast, in honor of Cookie Monster's picture being on Google, of course. Went to a work meeting where I got some cake, and also learned that typing http://bacolicio.us/ in front of a web address produces a large piece of bacon on your computer screen. Went to a surprisingly satisfying rehearsal, made satisfyinger by the fact that Wonder Reed is still alive and well! Work was alright, except for when my coworker definitely passed gas while talking my ear off. That was pretty unpleasant. Came home and ate some cookies. Talked to an old friend. More cookies. I have lost count of how many cookies I have eaten today. But probably past a dozen, whoops! Notice how there's no homework in there? Eek! Guess that's how I'm finishing the night!

-Miss Scarlett

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Q'Allo,

I may just be on a bad server or something, but I can't seem to get any of the "site down" links to work (http://theboard.byu.edu/index.php?area=links). What seems to be the cause of that?

Or is this all some sick, cruel and twisted joke?

-O.H.D.

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ADear O.H.D.,

Sorry about that. Those files were locked down during a recent security upgrade. I've made them publicly accessible again. Enjoy!

-Curious Physics Minor

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QDear Sky Bones,

As the current Board Japanese Expert, I was hoping you could help me out with this. Is it possible to buy piano sheet music for the song "Renai Shashin" by Ai Otsuka in Japan? And, if so, Do you think we could work something out in that I would reimburse you for purchasing it for me?

- Azriel

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ADear Azriel,

I've got some good news and some bad news for you. Which would you like first?

Well, the bad news is I couldn't find it this week.

And the good news is I might be able to find it some other week.

The problem is I live in a fairly small city by Japanese standards and Ai Otsuka may be popular in Japan, but she's not legendary. I went to the largest bookstore in the city and spent a couple hours looking through almost every book they had in the sheet music section. Not only did I not find "Renai Shashin," I didn't even find a single song by Ai Otsuka. They did have several books entirely dedicated to the music of some of the really famous pop singers, like Ken Hirai and Ayumi Hamasaki. They also had some books with a mix of various pop singers' music. But Ai Otsuka's music was nowhere to be found.

And in case you were curious, I did happen to find books of sheet music for Enya, The Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, various Disney songs, Slipknot, Metallica, various Broadway musicals, Elton John, and Blink 182. And of course there were plenty of books with Studio Ghibli, Final Fantasy, and anime sheet music.

So, here's my proposal. If it means that much to you, I'll keep my eyes open for other bookstores over the next several months and see if I can find "Renai Shashin." I live fairly close to Sendai, a very large city, so I might be able to find it there. If not, I'm just a few hours north of Tokyo and I'm planning a trip there in the spring. If sheet music for Ai Otsuka's music exists, it would be in Tokyo.

Why don't you shoot me an e-mail and we'll see if we can work something out. I'd be more than happy to help out while I'm here, especially someone who has an ear for J-Pop.

-Sky Bones

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Is it likely for one who plays an uncommon instrument (say an oboe) to make it into some sort of orchestral/concert band group in BYU? Even if they haven't taken private lessons?

- Oliver Twist

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ADear Oliver Twist,

I hate to be the burster of your bubble, but it would be incredibly unlikely to make it into one of the orchestral/concert band groups here at BYU, at least if you play oboe. Let me explain why: currently there are 14 students in the oboe studio, and one of the requirements of studying oboe is to be in a large ensemble each semester. When you consider that there are only four main groups (the Philharmonic, Wind Symphony, Symphony Orchestra, and Symphonic Band), you can see that even with 14 students, there are already more oboists than you'd ideally have in each of these groups. There just isn't enough room for anyone outside the major. I do know that other sections (such as viola or clarinet) will sometimes have non-majors in them, but even that is pretty rare, and you would have to be pretty good--and majors are always going to get preference so they can meet their requirements. If you would like to play in an orchestra or concert band, there is usually a University Orchestra/Band class offered each semester (MUSIC 321R and 322R). You don't have to audition for these groups, and you just sign up for your instrument, so you can see exactly how many spots are left. If you're just wanting to play, this is a very good option. And if you are an oboist, good on you for picking the best instrument!

-Miss Scarlett

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

is there really a secret buffalo wild wings in american fork(fark)? i went there on adventure but was unsuccessful. I really need wings. Really really really good ones. better than wingers.

-VLRINGGGG

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ADear VWANE!

No, there isn't. Come on, you know this. Secret 2 AM but really 1 AM (daylight saving time) adventures confirmed this. There's always that Wingshak, though...or Beto's.

- Commander Keen

ADear One Vowel,

A secret restaurant would have a pretty hard time staying in business. The whole point of a business (unless you have ties to crime or something) is to be as well-known as possible so lots of people come and give you money.

—Laser Jock