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 Posts for October 9, 2009 

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

In the library on the new TV screen by the Info Commons desk, there's a video that plays frequently.   It's about a guy who doesn't know how to use the library at first, and over the course of the video he learns how to find books and write a paper.   He prints it, staples it; basically, he finishes his paper.   At the end of the video he's all done with it, and runs triumphantly out of the library in slow motion, waving his paper in the air.   Where did the music for that last triumphant scene come from?

- Whatever it is, it's stuck in my head
Direct Link to Question


ADear I hate that!

I have heard that song more times than you will ever know!   And holy cow, it's been hard tracking it down.   And, well, I didn't find out exactly which song it was, but your question was actually just about where the music came from, now, wasn't it?   The answer is, it's a track from Garageband.   Which one?   Well, that is still uncertain.   Somebody told me it was from Garageband, so I listened to all of the tracks I thought it might be; a few of them were similar, but no exact matches.   After lots of looking, I finally found out who produced the video, and even finally talked to someone on the production unit on the phone!   He confirmed that it was from Garageband, but couldn't remember which track.   He said he'd get back to me the next day, but, er, he hasn't yet.   SO, if and when I ever hear from him, I'll post a comment.   In the meantime, what are you doing hanging out by the TV screen in Info Commons all the time?

-Miss Scarlett, in the Conservatory



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QDear 100 Hour Board,

One week ago, I was raped by someone I had considered a close friend. It was one of those nebulous situations where I repeatedly said no but did not fight when he ignored my protests and was cooperative with most of what he told me to do. Only after he left did the reality of what had happened hit.

Several hellish hours later, my closest female friend found me and took me to my bishop, who blamed me. His views will soon be corrected. The real problem is this: my friend agreed with the bishop. She repeatedly expressed that opinion until the next day I confronted her about it, telling her that what happened was not my fault and I did not want it and tried to stop it. We've had only incidental contact since.

We normally see each other every day, often for several hours. I miss her, but this is hard enough without having to defend myself to my close friends, so, having no indication that her views have changed, I'm hesitant to reach out and try to repair the friendship. I don't understand how she can think I chose this when she saw me in the fresh aftermath. I feel like I am waiting for an apology from her, or some kind of expression of support. Perhaps she is waiting for an apology from me, but what I said was true and important, and the delivery, while forceful, was not harsh. I'm trying to learn to stick up for myself, but I don't want to alienate friends unnecessarily. What should I do?

-broken and blamed
Direct Link to Question


ADear broken and blamed,

I'm so sorry you're going through this.   What you described isn't nebulous: it's just rape.   Lack of a physical fight doesn't change that.   And like you said, what you've experienced is hard enough without dealing with doubting friends.

If you can't deal with talking to her and the possibility that she still doubts you, I think it's fine to let it rest for a little while longer.   However, here's one possible approach if you do want to try again: tell her that you miss her and really want to have her friendship.   What you told her that next day is true (it's definitely not your fault), but you're worried that you might have alienated her by how forceful you were.   Ask if she can help and support you.   See where it goes from there.

I know you weren't asking about this, but if you aren't already talking to a professional counselor/therapist, I'd highly recommend it.   They can help you deal with the emotional trauma that comes with rape.   BYU's Women's Services and Resources might be a good place to start; additionally, the Utah Valley Rape Crisis Team (801-377-5500) can help.   They assist with the physical, legal, and emotional aspects of rape.   (One of my good friends used to volunteer with them, and it sounded like a really good organization.)

Best of luck dealing with this.   I sincerely pray that you can get the help and healing you need.

—Laser Jock


ADear broken and blamed,

I feel so inspired after reading your question.   I'm so sorry this happened to you, but I love how you have identified the blame as completely outside of yourself, and I love how you are willing to stand up against others' assumptions.   Bravo, strong lady.   Like Laser Jock, I hope in all of this you have latched on to some kind of professional help, just to process things and get informed about your rights, if nothing else.

I wasn't raped a week ago, but holy cow if I don't relate to your actual question right now, and I don't really know what to do either.   If you want to start a conversation about it with me, you can email me at byublacksheep (at) gmail (dot) com, and I'd really like to talk to you about it.   Right now I've decided to remove myself completely from that situation because I don't know what else I can do.   I like Laser Jock's idea to just tell her you miss her, and see what happens from there.   However, if she continues to outwardly make assumptions that hurt you, I'd suggest that you remove yourself from that hurtful situation.   Like you said, you have plenty to deal with without that situation.

I wish you all the best.

- The Black Sheep


ADear broken and blamed,

Laser Jock gave me a heads-up as soon as he saw this question: I'm the friend he mentioned who used to volunteer on the Utah Valley rape crisis team (I no longer live in Utah, but I'm now working with a team here in California). He wanted to know if I had anything else to add, and I've decided that as a certified crisis counselor with quite a bit of training and experience in this area, I have a few thoughts that may help you.

First of all, sex isn't something you have to defend against, it's something you have to consent to, so the fact that you didn't physically fight him doesn't mean spit. I understand why you're characterizing it this way (it's extremely common for women to not initially identify their experiences as assault or rape), but there's really nothing "nebulous" about what happened to you. To tell you the truth, I have seen and heard about cases a lot less clear-cut when it comes to the matter of consent. Like I said earlier, you have to actually give consent, so if there's any amount of coercion or an inability to give consent (e.g., intoxication, drug influence, etc.) it's rape, regardless of any physical force required to make it happen. So your verbal refusals actually made/make the situation quite clear.

Secondly, I want to highly recommend the crisis line that LJ referenced. It's through the Center for Women and Children in Crisis, and the number again is 801-377-5500. This line is manned 24/7 by trained crisis counselors who can talk to you about resources available to you, such as the excellent support group run through the Center. They can also talk you through some of the things survivors of sexual assault commonly experience, anything ranging from symptoms of PTSD (or what we sometimes call Rape Trauma Syndrome) to unsupportive friends and family (sound familiar?). They can also answer any questions you may have about your legal options. Of course, as a BYU student, there are also counseling services available through the university, or you may not feel like talking at all. But I wanted to make sure that you were aware of the hotline; it's completely confidential and available 24/7. And if you don't wanna call now, but find that you want to talk to somebody or start considering that support group 3 months or 5 years down the road, that's cool; there's no time limit.

Thirdly, your actual question: it is a sad fact that survivors of rape and sexual assault often have to deal with unsupportive friends and family. I have a coworker who tells very frustrating stories of being at the hospital with rape survivors and their family members who pester them with accusations of blame and questions like "Didn't I tell you not to go to that party?" until she wants to take them out in the hallway and shake them. Equally sad, in my opinion, are all the times I have gone to the hospital to find a survivor who is all alone, apparently with nobody they trusted enough to call. Given some of the reactions I've seen, though, I understand it. What I've learned, however, is that seeing someone you love in that situation, knowing that your daughter or wife or best friend has been raped, is a trauma of its own, and most people just don't handle it well. At all. To put this in specifics, your best friend should absolutely be able to recognize that however difficult it is for her to realize that yes, sexual assault does occur in Happy Valley, in her world, in her life, that concern should be secondary to her concern for your wellbeing. That doesn't seem to be happening, but I'd bet money that's at least part of why she's acting this way. If she can blame you (and I think this is a very common defense mechanism, so don't think I'm demonizing her in any way), she can put some distance between what happened to you and what might happen to her, because she wouldn't do whatever it is she's saying you did wrong. That way she protects herself, despite the frankly terrifying proximity of this event. And it is in no way fair that you should even have to be dealing with her issues in this matter, but it may help you reconnect if you consider the possibility that her actions are motivated by fear. Apart from that, I think the writers above have given good ideas on how to actually approach her. Just be clear about both how much you miss her and what you need from her, and see if she's willing to come back into your life in a way that can be beneficial for both of you. Don't feel like a bad person, though, if you feel like she's going to be a bad influence and you need time away from her while you're healing and recovering. This time needs to be about you, not her.

I am so sorry that this happened to you, and that you are not getting the support you deserve from the people around you. Please know that there are others of us out here both rooting and praying for you. You've already shown great strength, in getting this far, in reaching out to people, in sticking to what you know to be true. You'll know what to do to get through this. God bless you.

-Desdemona
c/o Curious Physics Minor



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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I am working as a T.A., and there is a major preponderance of freshmen in the class I T.A. for (T.A. is both a noun and a verb!).   Part of my job is grading the essays of the students, and so I have been brought face-to-face with examples of terrible grammar and failure to spell correctly.   This has led to musing on my part resulting in the following questions.   What is the most common grammatical error (a) committed by freshmen at BYU; (b) committed by all students at BYU; and (c) that you have personally seen on the Hundred Hour Board?  

- The Grammaticist
Direct Link to Question


ADear Grammaticist,

I don't have data on BYU students in particular, but in a study by Andrea Lunsford and Karen Lunsford entitled "'Mistakes Are a Fact of Life': A National Comparative Study," these were the most common errors in a sample of 877 papers from across the country (they list twenty; I will give you the first ten):

1. Wrong word (13.7% of total errors)
2. Missing comma after an introductory element (9.6%)
3. Incomplete or missing documentation (7.1%)
4. Vague pronoun reference (6.7%)
5. Spelling error (including homonym) (6.5%)
6. Mechanical error with a quotation (6.4%)
7. Unnecessary comma (5.2%)
8. Unnecessary or missing capitalization (5.2%)
9. Missing word (4.6%)
10. Faulty sentence structure (4.4%)

Depending on your definition of grammar, some of these aren't grammatical errors, but that's the best I've got. Other writers can comment on the errors they've noticed (I know that as a writer, I've made many a verb or pronoun error. Thank goodness for our proofreader!).

-Whistler


ADear Grammaticist,

A grammatical error that I have seen quite often: people who use "that" instead of "who."

For instance: "You know the girl that sells cotton candy in the park?"

Versus, "You know the girl who sells cotton candy in the park?"

It seriously drives me up the wall more quickly than almost anything else.

The girl who does not sell cotton candy,

⋯Anomalous


ADear The Grammaticist,

As the Board proofreader, somebody thought I'd be uniquely qualified to answer the question of what grammatical errors were most common on the Board. So I've been keeping track of the types of corrections I made over the last 100 hours, just so I can share my findings with you! The top three categories are:

1. 32% of the corrections were about punctuation. (I know it's a large category, and I should have broken it down further, but I didn't realize the need until later, and by then it was too late.) I'll mention some of those specifics later on, though.
2. 20% of the errors were in capitalization, which surprised me. What's really odd, though, is that the overwhelming majority (this part is just me remembering the corrections I made; I didn't track it) was things being capitalized when they shouldn't have been (as opposed to things NOT being capitalized when they should be).
3. 16.6% of the corrections were what I chose to call "style-related." This was an umbrella category for a whole bunch of things, ranging from italicizing the titles of books to not inserting extra blank lines after block quotes. I guess it made sense in my head because it had to do with getting the little details right (please don't ask me to define how that separates these things from any of the other bits of grammar), and since I got to make up the categories, that's how it happened. It is a source of great pride to me that I routinely see writers get these things right now, where that used to almost never happen.
4. 10% of the errors were spelling errors. I list this as an honorable mention simply because I truly believe that under normal circumstances, it would have beat out "style" for number 3. But for reasons unknown to me, the worst offender in this area hasn't written anything in the last 100 hours, so the numbers are uncharacteristically low. And here's my plea to the entire world: use a browser with spell check! You'll look so much smarter.

So those are the stats. If you would like to know some of the more interesting quirks that live on this side of the Board, here are a few:
  • A couple of the writers have recently started using single quotes instead of double quotes, which I don't get, but sometimes miss fixing.
  • There seems to have been an upswing in the usage of "there's" when its subject is plural ("There's a bunch of pumpkins over there!").
  • Several writers, as briefly mentioned above, like to capitalize things that don't need it. One I see a lot is the word "temple," as in "We're going to the Temple tomorrow." Go figure.
  • Lastly, all the computer programming nerds on the Board (you know who you are!) insist on putting terminal punctuation outside of quotation marks. I totally get why, but tell them that'd only be okay if we were Brits.
Well, I hope that satisfied your curiosity in this respect, at least.

-The Heartless Siren
c/o Curious Physics Minor


ADear T.A.,

Kudos for using the word "preponderance."   It is one of my favorites.

One error I see absolutely everywhere, afflicting my middle school students and distracted college professors alike, is mixing up "there," "their," and "they're."   Even though I'm sure most people could explain the difference, mixups still happen.   A lot.   And, considering how much of a personal pet peeve this mistake is, I make it with disturbing frequency.

~Hermia



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QDear 100 Hour Board,

i need good truth or dares for using in a game over the phone.  

- im just sayin
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ADear Just Sayin',

Huh...usually people use the Board for askin', not just sayin'. Kudos on your need.

You could try this database. Just make sure you keep the "Enable Mature Content" box unchecked.

-Claudio


ADear not askin'

I've played many long distance games of Truth or Dare through a combination of mail and internet, but never over the phone. But I can think of a few that would work only using a phone. I dare you to:
  • Find the lyrics to some embarrassing song and sing along. (Musicals, 90's boy bands, or 80's rappers are good fodder for this one.)
  • Name 6 animals that start with "R".
  • Give your best impression of a distressed whale.
  • Tell the story of Red Riding Hood using only noises.
  • Sing four jingles (or theme songs).
  • Write an impromptu haiku (or limerick).
  • Burp the entire alphabet...backwards.
Truths:
  • What Pokémon would you be?
  • If you were any political figure in the past 100 years, who would you be?
  • If you had four hours with no consequences- you didn't have to pay for what you did, and no one would remember what happened but you- what would you do?
  • If you had 24 hours to be anywhere you wanted, all expenses paid, where would you go?
  • When people say "heaven," what does it look like in your head?
  • Or any number of the random questions people have asked the Board
-Ineffable

If it's been bothering you, here are six "R" animals: rhino, raccoon, rabbit, rat, rooster, and rattlesnake.



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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Why is it that the sciences accept AP credit and allow you to take higher level classes as a result, but many of the liberal arts majors (including English and History) require you to take classes at the collegiate level despite having (supposedly) tested out of them?  
On a related note, to whom would one address a petition to have the issue fixed or at least looked into?

Cordially, an Elective Creditor.
Direct Link to Question


ADear Elective Creditor,

The AP tests simply certify that you have learned a certain skill set.   When the AP curriculum aligns with the university's curriculum, it is within everybody's best interest to accept the credit.   But when the AP requirements don't sufficiently approach the skills learned in the university curriculum, it is neither in the students' nor the university's interest to grant the credit.   In fact, it can be a great disservice.   For instance, the AP English credit says nothing about your ability to write a college-level research paper.   When I was a freshman, I was allowed to use my AP English credit to count for basic English, and I was happy to skip the class.   However, in the coming years (especially as my studies entered the realm of the Humanities), I realized I was seriously disadvantaged by having no training or guidance on how to write a serious research paper (and no, my high school research paper assignments weren't helpful here).   The AP test currently counts for English 115 credit, but "entering students with AP English credit are strongly encouraged to take a First-Year Writing course (Engl 150, Honors 150, or Phil 150).   Studies show that doing so contributes greatly to their success at the university."   Allow me to echo this strong recommendation: "echo... echo... echo..."

It's not an issue to be petitioned.   The requirements have indeed been well-looked-into.   The University has a responsibility to make sure you get the best education possible.   So, dig in. And you'll be better for it.

Love,
Waldorf and Sauron


ADear Cordial,

As someone who was apparently incredibly bored in high school, I took a ridiculous number of AP tests, so I can speak to this question.

AP Physics is a conceptually driven objective test. Physics as a subject is composed of concepts and relationships that students either can or cannot understand and apply to solve a problem for the one exactly correct answer, and the test measures this very directly.

AP English Literature is not so objective. I figured the multiple choice section was just a glorified SAT reading section that required a bit of literature-related vocabulary. If this is true it's essentially an intelligence test and says almost nothing about your ability to criticize literature. On the essays there's no one correct answer, so students tend to get points based on whether or not they can create good prose that is remotely related to the prompt. Conceptual performance is not here being measured very effectively or objectively. I frankly think I did well on the AP Lit test mostly because of verbal intelligence and general ability to B.S. essay questions (it certainly wasn't because of preparation), and it makes sense to me that BYU does not award tremendous amounts of academic credit for these skills.

Basically the AP Lit test is a fuzzy measure of a fuzzy topic while the AP Physics test is a hard-and-fast measure of an incredibly objective topic; a good AP Physics score compels acknowledgement that the student knows the topic, while a good AP Lit test score does not. They result in academic credit accordingly.

The history tests are a little more objective and some of the science tests (e.g., APES) are much, much less, so there I'm more sympathetic to you, but the majors that require the classes that don't get much credit are generally short enough that you're unlikely to get sympathy.

If you truly want to petition about this, you might try the Academic Vice President, but I'm here to tell you it's a lost cause. (Not convinced? Read the discussion here about how some BYU administrators actually think AP English gets too much credit.)

~Ƥ. Ɗ. Kirĸe



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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Can you please identify the copy of the Book of Mormon used by Elder Holland in his general conference talk on October 4, 2009?   Who owns it? How has it been preserved from the day of the martyrdom in Carthage until today? Is it available somewhere for viewing?

tomgraph
Direct Link to Question


ADear tomgraph,

The book is owned by the Church, was owned by Hyrum Smith, and usually resides in the Church History Library.   In fact, on Thursday the Deseret News did a full article about that very book. Apparently, it's not normally available for viewing, since "The book normally sits in a box, in a dark room with a controlled temperature and humidity level."

According to the article,
"Church historians assume the book was brought back [from Liverpool, where it was published] by one of the apostles and given to Hyrum Smith. It eventually ended up in the possession of Mercy Thompson, the sister of Hyrum Smith's wife, Mary Fielding Smith. Members of Thompson's family kept the book until 1944, adding to its value by making it an 'autograph volume of church dignitaries,' Turley said."
So there you have it.

-Yellow


ADear tomgraph,

Apparently, the archivists at the Church History Library were given very specific instructions about that dog-eared page in the Book of Mormon. The preservation of that marked page came at the adamant request of the family and the curators of the library. Folds are especially dangerous to the longevity of books, and so are usually one of the first things to be removed when a book is cleaned for storage. On that book, however, the archivists were told over and over again to not touch that bookmarked page, and to take every precaution that that crease be protected.

My source was given a viewing of that Book of Mormon while interning at the Church History Library, but like the article said it's usually kept out of the light, and away from the oils of human hands. I'd like to see it too. I guess it has a very distinct binding that differs from the other books of the period and has gold filigree across the cover and spine, not to mention that it's been in the hands of some of the most influential men to every walk the earth- pretty sweet.

-Ineffable



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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Why did 'thing' go from the name for a Nordic Assembly to a term for an object or event or really, any...thing?
- The Confused Visigoth
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ADear Visigoth of the Confused sort,

As you pointed out, a "thing" was once was the governing assembly in Germanic societies. These things even met in a place called a "thingstead." But, guess what?! Old Norse did not actually have a monopoly on the word "thing," oh no, Old Frisian and Old English shared that thing. And what's worse, my gothic friend, is that this thing came from another language, possibly Common Germanic's "pengan," or the Proto-Indo-European "ten-."

All of these things meant something along the lines of "assembly." People were also going to Things of some sort, you know, Political Things, Town Things, General Things, etc. There were so many types of things, I imagine that is why people started to simply substitute the event they couldn't remember the name of as a "thing." The poor word's meaning degraded so far that now just about any unknown object is a thing!

A more positive interpretation is that now every English speaker knows at least one very old Germanic/Proto-Indo-European word - "thing." If you want to look at this thing, you can read the first thing and get an almost timeline-type thing of the word's etymology. It is actually a cool thing, if you think about it.

-Mico



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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I've been working on getting stuff together for my mission, and came across something interesting.

It says to bring an inexpensive camera, that doesn't record video. Are they serious? I don't think that there has been a consumer grade digital camera made in years that doesn't record video!

What do you think about this? Is this something that I need to worry about? Or is it just a leftover that hasn't been changed yet?

Thanks!

- Fredjikrang
Direct Link to Question


ADear Fredjikrang,

I'm not advocating that you directly rebel, but I took a rather nice camera on my mission with me that could record video. I didn't have a single person say that it wasn't permitted.

If you take an mp3 player, which I did and was thankful for, it may say you can't take one that can play video (also something that is increasingly hard to find these days). I knew numerous elders who sent theirs home in the MTC when they were told this, but regretted doing so once they were out in the field because this rule wasn't enforced in our mission. Just a thought.

Don't get me wrong - I'm an advocate of keeping the rules because they ARE important, but I personally trusted myself in the MTC with certain things (a VERY select few things, as in one or two, like the camera and mp3 player policy) that I didn't feel needed to be regulated by the Law of Moses because some idiot elder in the past did something stupid with a camera.

Note: Don't construe this as me saying "Break mission rules!" I'm just saying that I had this exact same question when I got my mission packet. I withheld final judgment on such matters until I was in my actual assigned mission, and I'm glad that I did, because said rules turned out to be defunct. Just follow the Spirit. Never, ever forget that the first couple of pages of the white handbook are the most important, because they clearly tell us that the rules are there to help us live the higher law. Please, PLEASE keep a proper perspective on why the rules are there. You should follow them, but don't guilt trip yourself in doing so. God doesn't like miserable missionaries.

So, my short answer is to not worry about it. There are so many cameras and so much picture taking in the MTC/the mission field that nobody will give you a second glance, let alone a first.

-Commander Keen


ADear Fredjikrang,

The last missionary I know who went on a mission also found that stipulation weird. This was close to two years ago, and we found out that it is next to impossible to find a camera without video recording capabilities, and furthermore that it is something you seriously do not have to worry about.

We figured that the rule was because of the country he was called to; maybe the government didn't want missionaries recording things and spreading rumors! You know, missionaries equal spies, and all that. More likely, it is an outdated rule like you thought. Oh, besides those times that stupid elders took videos of sacrilegious things in foreign countries. But you wouldn't do that.

-Mico


ADear whippersnappers,

MP3 players?? When I went out on my mission, we had CD players, and we liked it!   It would have felt really weird to have an iPod.

Don't sweat the small details of your shopping list when you're on your way to the MTC.   Use common sense, don't take too much with you, and when you get to the mission field, you'll be able to see what most missionaries use.

-Cognoscente


ADear Fredjikrang,

When I was in the Brazil MTC, the MTC president told all the elders that we shouldn't have gel in our hair and told us to throw away all of our hair products.   And when I say he told us, he told us emphatically, indicating that to not do so was irresponsible and pretty much open rebellion.   He was quite an intimidating guy.   With much incredulity and whining, many of us went ahead and threw out our stuff.   When we arrived in the mission field, our mission president told us we looked ridiculous without gel in our hair and we all went and bought some more.   Was the no hair product thing a silly rule?   Probably.   Would any of us have paid much attention to the rule if it wasn't explicitly explained to us?   Probably not.   But even if in the end a rule doesn't turn out to be a big deal, you'll be blessed for trying to do what you think is right.

That being said, please don't worry about the camera.   If you're really concerned, you can write to your mission president and ask for his advice (which I guarantee is for you to not worry about it).  

- Rating Pending (who offhandedly reminds everyone that if you only follow the mission rules that exist because some elder did something stupid, you will likely be following absolutely no rules whatsoever)



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QOh wise 100 Hour Board,

Is it just me, or does there seems to be an abundance of slow walkers EVERYWHERE? I'm a fast walker with classes all over campus, so I do not have the time to be herded along in a large group surrounded by slow movers. I was wondering if you had any shortcuts between buildings you'd be willing to share?

-doodle dandy
Direct Link to Question


ADear dandy,

I'm with you: I hate slow walkers. I don't really mind that they walk at a pace that is less-than-preferred by myself, but rather that they won't get out of the way when others are trying to take more than a leisurely stroll.

Unfortunately, I don't really use too many shortcuts to get around campus, so I can't help you out much with that part. Rather, I turn crowd-walking into a sport. I think of it as if I'm a car moving in between lanes of traffic on the highway. The only thing I don't do is make "vroom vroom!" noises, though that would be cool.

I also happen to be one of those people who doesn't consider himself subservient to grass, so nothing is off-limits for me as to where I walk to get around people. Therefore, if you stick solely to the sidewalks, I'd recommend amending that policy immediately. Your results will improve drastically, I bet.

Happy walking!

-Commander Keen


ADear doodle dandy,

I, too, like to walk faster than the average person.   I've done some thinking about this problem while trying to get through serpentine masses of slow-walking students, and I think that a big part of the problem is the sheer number of people.   The slowest-walking people end up slowing everyone else down.   Plus, when you get to areas where people are merging in or trying to split off, you get turbulence, which makes matters worse.

My solution is to do what Commander Keen mentioned: I turn it into a game.   It can really be sort of exhilarating to look for ways to cut through the crowd.   Be considerate, of course, but you'd be surprised at the openings you can find, especially if you're good at quick bursts of acceleration.   Also, it helps if you can avoid the worst areas (like the sidewalk from the JSB that goes down the west side of the ESC and past the SWKT).

I'm okay with grass, but only if it's not an area where the grass gets walked on a lot (like right next to the sidewalk or at corners).   I feel sorry for the poor dead grass in those areas.   (Maybe it helps that I worked landscaping, once upon a time.)

Oh, and you also just reminded me of one of my favorite Dilbert comic strips: September 30, 2001.   Check it out.

—Laser Jock


ADear CK and LJ,

Geez, you two are worse than this guy.

-Claudio


ADear doodle,

I'm with LJ and CK. (Which probably reflects a general trend.) People generally walk too slow.

I haven't got any specific physical shortcuts, but I have one general suggestion on top of what's been said: walk with confidence. Don't hit people or glare or anything; just exhibit no desire to move out of anyone's way, and they may move out of yours.

Or you could always get a cattle prod.

~Ƥ. Ɗ. Kirĸe


ADear Claudio-

Better than these guys. Or this guy. Or this one.

-Foreman, who is intrigued that all these guys are Australians or Brits.



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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Is it true that when you shave a certain area (say... your arms or legs) that hair grows back thicker and faster?

-Bic
Direct Link to Question


ADear Bic,

FALSE! Body hair, unlike that on your head, grows to a certain thickness and then stops. When you shave your hair begins to grow back to that set thickness, but it seems fast, because before it had already grown the full thickness. If you stopped shaving and just let your body hair grow out then it would seem to grow fast and thick, until it stopped growing because it had reached its natural limit.

Don't feel silly for asking, though; I think at some point everyone wonders if that rumor is true.

-Mico


ADear Bic,

As Mico pointed out, this is one of those myths that just won't die.   Other Board answers that deal with it are Board Question #16935 and Board Question #16845, in case you're interested.

—Laser Jock



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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I don't know where I heard this, or if I made it up in my mind, but I'd like to know the truth. Do the general authorities write their own talks? One hundred percent? Do they get edited or passed off by other people?

- April and October :)
Direct Link to Question


ADear April and October,

Do you write all your own talks?   100%?   Do you ever ask for advice on how to phrase something, or ask someone to look over your talk for any problems or unclear parts?   Because considering the audience, I'd certainly bet that most General Conference speakers at least ask a secretary to look over their talks.   However, I don't believe there's any central editorial board that has to approve everything.

In fact, the speakers are generally unaware of what the other speakers will be talking about.   Seven or eight months ago, Elder L. Tom Perry presided at our Stake Conference.   He told us that he would be the very last speaker of the upcoming General Conference, and that everyone hated speaking last because you were sure that someone else was going to steal your topic first.   Further, no topics are assigned at General Conference; each speaker is free to address whatever he or she feels inspired to address.   So I think it unlikely that there's a central authority that approves each talk.

Of course, the talks do have to be turned in at least a week in advance to prepare them for translation, so there are certainly other eyes that will see the talks, and plenty of opportunity for someone to raise any concerns.   But overall, it's up to each speaker to follow the Spirit.   Anyone they involve beyond that is done of their own choice.

-Yellow


ADear April and October,

Sometimes, Conference talks will be slightly edited (even from the way they were given in Conference) for the Ensign.   For instance, try to find this quote from Elder Corbridge in last year's Conference...

Quote:

Every other way, any other way, whatever other way is madness

...in the Ensign version.   It's been changed from "madness" to "foolishness."

Love,
Waldorf and Sauron


ADear April and October,

There is also a committee called the Correlation Committee. They double-check publications, Church-sponsored activities and major talks to make sure they are in accordance with Church doctrine. Then again, I am fairly certain that general authorities and other people who give talks in Conference do not have problems with their talks being doctrinally sound. If you are interested, here is a short history of the Correlation Committee.

-Mico


 
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