|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Login Ask a Question Search About Us Policies Frequently Asked Questions Top-10 Favorites Order T-Shirt Archives Today's Posts (18) 21 20 19 18 17 16 14 13 12 11 10 09 07 06 05 04 03 02 31 30 29 28 27 26 24 23 22 21 20 19 17 16 15 14 13 12 10 09 08 07 06 05 03 02 01 30 29 28 26 25 24 23 22 21 19 18 17 16 15 14 12 11 10 09 08 07 05 04 03 02 01 31 29 28 27 26 25 24 22 21 |
Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, If there were a hole to the center of the earth, how long would it take for you to fall down it? (Recognizing, of course, the necessity of leaving the U.S. and thus having to go through customs on your way). What if it were filled with grape Jell-o? How 'bout a solution of powdered sugar and strawberry Cool-aid with equal consistency to maple syrup? - A Concerned Reader
ADear Concerned, I suspect that if the hole were filled with anything other than air, it would be completely impassable, though I don't have any solid numbers to back me up. The first part of your question has actually already been answered a couple of different ways in the past. See Board Question #858 and Board Question #820. I got in touch with the writer of the first comment (Blue and white blood) via a former Board writer, and although he no longer had the document he mentioned, he thinks his math was off before and that the nitrogen in the air wouldn't actually liquefy. After looking into this a bit more, I think he's right. I also asked a couple of physics professors for help; one wasn't sure how to approach it, but the other (who I'll call Dr. J) gave me quite a bit of help. He pulled out equations for air resistance, figured in the fact that gravity wouldn't be constant (it would decrease as you got closer to the center of the earth), and used the chemical potential of an ideal gas to figure what the density of the air at the center of the earth would be. The problem is that those equations make certain approximations, and those don't necessarily work in extreme conditions. The biggest, thorniest problem was finding the density of the atmosphere at the middle of our hypothetical tunnel. Using the chemical potential, the professor found that the equation said the density would be 152 orders of magnitude higher than at sea level...which doesn't work, since the molecules start to touch at about 3 orders of magnitude higher than here. I really, really wanted to do an awesome answer with detailed, physically-accurate mathematical models and everything to set this to rest for once and for all, but it looks like accurately figuring out the density of the atmosphere as you descend is too tricky for me. Alas. However, Dr. J did offer his opinion: I wonder if the person falling through the tunnel will reach the center of the earth in his lifetime. With such large wind resistance terms and the pull due to gravity decreasing as one approaches the center of the earth, it will probably take awhile.He also found an interesting paper that sheds at least a little light on what the nitrogen in the atmosphere might do; it's a paper published in the Journal of Chemical Physics, vol. 91, pg. 6302 (15 Nov 1989). The researchers looked at the phase transitions of nitrogen at very high (85 kbar) pressure and temperature. Unfortunately, I don't know enough about the whole problem to know best how to apply this information, but it's there for the taking. One final note: in looking up information on phase diagrams, I discovered that at high enough temperature and pressure, you typically get a supercritical fluid, which isn't really a gas and isn't really a liquid, but is sort of in between. (There is no clearly marked boundary at these temperatures and pressures.) I assume that this is the state that our atmosphere would be in, which is why I said earlier that I don't think the atmosphere would liquefy: it would be too hot to do so. Which brings me to an interesting point made by Dr. J: the temperature of the earth's core is estimated to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 5000-7000 K. As Dr. J put it, "I’m not sure if the person who asked the question cares, but I happened to notice that the center of the earth is at about the same temperature as the sun. It might be wise to dissuade this person from making the journey as he will surely be vaporized before he gets there." Words to live by. —Laser Jock Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, I asked a question regarding the retention of records for clerks Board Question #52982. I was directed to the training courses which I have seen many, many times and after searching have never seen anything official about document retention. Searching on the internet I found a lot of opinions at http://tech.lds.org/forum/show.... Still, the closest I have seen is https://tech.lds.org/wiki/inde... which explicitly refers to financial data only, and a document I have not been able to find entitled "Use and Retention of Records and Reports." I have seen some talk that you have to use a unit login on LDSCatalog.com to be able to find it, do you know if this is correct? Where may I actually find the official policies for membership data? - Still lost in all the papers
ADear Still Lost, I contacted Local Unit Support about this document, and while they wouldn't tell me how to get it (why they avoided this subject, I'm not really sure), they did send me the document "Use and Retention of Records and Reports" with permission to post it here. So, here you go! I hope this helps you with everything. As a clerk myself, I know that our job can be a crazy one. Look at the document, then, for heaven's sake, simplify! Good luck! -Claudio Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Here's a hypothetical question. Suppose to graduate from a public high school, a student is required to do some kind of service. Suppose a Mormon student decides to do baptisms for the dead, and count that for the service. What do you think the school would do? On one hand, allowing it would be endorsing a certain religious belief, while disallowing it would be making a policy that rejects a certain religious belief, i.e. proclaiming that the baptisms did or did not constitute service. (I personally wouldn't find it very appropriate to count baptisms for the dead for required service, but I thought it was an interesting question constitutionally with the establishment clause, where the government can't officially endorse or reject religious beliefs.) I appreciate your ideas, - Laertes
ADear Laertes, Does the student have to specify what type of service was done? It may be possible for the student to say, "I did service through my church," have a bishop sign off on it, and that be the end of it. Total cop-out, I know. In truth, one thing that makes a difference is where the school is located. If it is a school in the Bible Belt, then any church-affiliated service may be considered perfectly fine, whereas schools on either coast, or in the deep South,* may feel differently. If the school did not give specifications for what constitutes service, then the student should be allowed to do any type werf wants, with or without any church. If a Mormon student was actually in this situation, werf's best option would be to ask a teacher if baptisms for the dead would be okay - missionary moment?! But honestly, I don't think this sort of thing would get past school regulations and into the courts, unless a student or a student's parents were really ornery about the disapproval. I agree with you, Laertes, that baptisms for the dead probably should not constitute the type of service a school is looking for. -Mico *There is a difference between the deep South and the Bible Belt. While the deep South is part of the Bible Belt, the Bible Belt extends beyond that. Where I grew up in the South would be considered part of the Bible Belt. Most people were Christians, but there were a ton of denominations. The deep South, while highly religious, tends to be divided. These are my observations, and of course they may not hold true for every single community within the deep South, but what I have seen is that people from those areas are not as open to other religions than whatever the dominant one may be. ADear Laertes, I would not count baptisms for the dead as an appropriate service project. Don't get me wrong, I am all for temple work. I just don't think that a school should endorse something so tied to a single church, no matter what church it is. You may argue that in Utah, released time is very popular among seminary students. I would respond, however, that in Utah, students of any religion are allowed to use a period during school hours for religious study. There is no show of religious preference in this case--students of every religion are given equal rights. In my opinion, baptisms for the dead are a different story. If school officials were to let students of one religion count something that only people of that religion believe is service, they would have to let everybody do religious service. Where do they draw the line? Theoretically, a student could say that werf's religion believes that skateboarding or hotdog-eating contests are service (I know, it's a long shot, but people will say anything these days). The school could not contest this claim, because that would be rejecting specific religious beliefs. People would be throwing lawsuits all over the place. Do you think my skateboarding example is ridiculous? Think about it this way: outside of the LDS church, how many people truly believe that baptisms for the dead are a big deal? Or, how many people (outside of the LDS church) scorn us because we practice something that they find ridiculous? It goes both ways. Granted, if the student in question were in Utah, or another place where the LDS church is not heatedly debated about, there would probably be no questions asked. Heck, I wouldn't ask any questions. But you always have to think about the extremes, because people will always go to the extremes. I do believe that temple work is incredibly important. I also believe, however, that allowing temple work to count as service in a school setting would be a terrible headache for all involved, and that it would be better to leave it out of schools. Loving the Church and the Constitution, and hating frivolous lawsuits, ⋯Anomalous ADear Laertes, Let's also consider for a moment the reasons the school likely had for assigning this service requirement. Usually, teachers and other educators want students to perform acts of service so as to awaken them to a sense of civic responsibility and duty. This is done by having them work to make the world around them a better place. Now, like Anomalous, I strongly believe that temple work is important and helps others. However, one has to exercise faith in order to appreciate the way in which vicarious ordinances benefit those who have gone before. The school could easily argue that they wanted students to serve others so they could see how their actions can benefit others, and so that they could make the world that they live in a better place. While the Spirit can certainly let us know how much our actions are benefiting those on the other side, I don't think that is the kind of experience the school board was looking for. Also, if you tried to argue that baptisms for the dead should count as service simply because refusing to recognize them as such would be discriminatory, you would probably want to consider that the Church also preaches the importance of serving the living. The school could argue that they are encouraging you to live your religion by requesting that you serve those around you. ~Hermia ADear Laertes, I'm with Mico, Anamolous, and Hermia. I don't think the school would come into any legal problems for not recognizing temple ordinances as service. While BYU isn't a public school and therefore free from federal limitations, I'm betting it would be under the most public pressure to accept temple work as service. And even BYU's nursing program specifically lists that you cannot use it on the service section of their application. -Ineffable Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, I'll be graduating this April with a Bachelor's degree in Home & Family Living. I have no idea what I will do with that. However, I recently came across the Early Childhood Education major and am kicking myself a little bit for not finding out about it earlier and doing a double major or that instead of HFL. Its too late now for me to do a double major and I'm pretty much positive that BYU doesn't offer a masters for ECE. Do I have any options through BYU? I'd love to work with toddler-pre-school age children in some capacity but I won't have any kind of teaching certification with HFL. I guess I just need some advice for my situation if you have any. -Frustrated
ADear Frustrated, Don't worry, your situation is probably more easily remedied than you would expect. The most direct route to becoming ECE-certified would be to participate in the Alternative Route to Licensure program once you have graduated with an undergraduate degree. My answer to this question about a Theater Arts major is very applicable to your situation, and includes resources you may want to look over. Don't kick yourself too hard. I wanted to double major when I was in the Elementary Education program, but BYU won't allow it because the education programs are too demanding. Best of luck, ⋯Anomalous Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Although I'm only halfway through my undergrad degree, I'm starting to think about graduate school, where it is I want to go with my career, what it's going to take to get there, if I even want to go that direction in the first place, blah blah blah. Although I currently attend a wonderful university, we are only a 4-year school, and consequently I have absolutely no contact with the wonderful world of graduate studies from which to derive knowledge on the topic. So, I submit to you, the great and omniscient Board: How is it you went about choosing grad school programs? What were your criteria? How worth it is it to visit campuses before I make a commitment? How much does it really matter where I get my Masters, if my PhD work is at a well-ranked university? Should I even worry about it right now, seeing as how graduation is still a solid two years off? Any other relevant tidbits you would be so gracious as to throw in? (Irrelevant is good too, I just know how you guys like to keep questions single-subject.) As always, thank you for all you do. - Ah, the choices
ADear Choices, I, too, have started to consider grad school options, although I am only beginning my junior year. I actually think that it is quite important to dive in early, if you know that grad school is where you want to be at some point. I have also just started a new major, so I figure that I will be more effective if I approach school with a goal in mind, such as getting into (blank) business school. This way, I can find out what is important to the business schools I am looking to apply to, and tailor my educational experience toward those schools. My criteria for choosing grad schools...well, it was an interesting experience. I decided that I want to go to a Top-30 school. That narrowed it down quite a bit. Next, I ruled out any school that would require me to live somewhere that I would absolutely not be willing to live. That cut my list by about half. I know that to many people, a good grad school would be worth living wherever. Many people aren't too picky about where they live. I, however, am. I wanted a school in either a big city, or a small town quite close to a big city. Next, I made a separate page in my notebook for each of the remaining schools. I did online research and requested that information be mailed to me. For each school, I recorded class statistics, such as the middle 50% of applicants' GMAT scores and the student-to-teacher ratio. I wrote down each school's strengths and weaknesses, acceptance rate, and any special programs that existed. I would prefer to go to grad school quite soon after I graduate, so schools with programs specifically designed for younger students got bonus points. Basically, I wrote down anything I could find about the school and the admissions process. I then compared each school and made some more cuts. Some were simple; I have a passionate hatred for the color red. I'm serious. Red was a con on a school's list; blue or green were pros. Out of the red schools, Harvard survived the cut. I cut ASU because the website had too much pink on it. Finally, I compared the most important things: the availability of financial aid, how each program works (for instance, I like Harvard's case study method, and Yale has an innovative approach to interdisciplinary study), and the likelihood that I could get accepted with little work experience. I would love to be able to visit campuses before I decide on a grad school, however, it's just not in the cards for me. All of my choices ended up being on the east coast or in Texas, and there is no way that I could travel anywhere near there anytime soon. I'll have to settle for pictures and brochures. I think it is worthwhile to visit campus. It can give you a sense of what to expect as far as students and classes go. I don't think it's absolutely necessary, though. I chose BYU without ever having been to Provo, and it was the greatest choice I've ever made. Granted, some of my criteria should probably be thrown out by a more rational person (the color red, for example). I was feeling overwhelmed with the amount of information to sift through, though, and needed to make cuts quickly. After my more serious cuts, I was left with a list of two dream schools, two middle-ground schools, and one safety school, which I would still be quite happy to attend. Choose criteria that are important to you...location is important to me, but you may not care. You may care about the availability of certain services, or if certain clubs are available on campus. Figure out what is important to you and find the schools that have the most to offer. Good luck! You have no idea how much I hate the color red, ⋯Anomalous ADear choices, I don't have intelligent input on all your questions, but here's what I do have. My grad school targets, as an engineer, are largely determined by rankings. Right now the ultimate target is MIT because A) they're essentially the best at everything, B) everyone knows it, and C) their professors (potential advisors) are the reason. I'm looking to nail down my interests a little more before I flesh out the list. I hope to be married by the time I hit grad school, but if not then singles wards would be a factor. I visited BYU (largely as an excuse to get to Utah and go skiing) before coming as an undergrad and thought that wasn't especially useful; basically everything I now love about BYU campus was not on the official tour. Also, I don't hold physical facilities as very important once the functional basics are there. I'd still want to do visits if possible, but I'm not sure it's crucial. If I was going to do a grad school college visit I'd try to spend as much time with professors and inside of labs as possible, but even if I couldn't visit I think talking to a few professors in your field at your top few schools would be a good priority. I hope to go straight from undergrad to Ph.D. work, because I don't think a Master's from anywhere is very useful after you do the Ph.D. Of course your Master's has to get you into the Ph.D. program you want, but beyond that I doubt where you go for it matters tremendously for your career. I'd start early - never worry, but do get a plan. ~Ƥ. Ɗ. Kirĸe Back to top QDear -Wonderful- 100 Hour board, Regarding your help section at http://theboard.byu.edu/index...., and specifically the request made here: "Are you asking more than one unrelated question? If so, please submit them as separate questions." How might I proceed if I have only one (1) unrelated question to ask? And for such a question, how do I determine its unrelatedness to itself? Is it a temporal matter, such that my question, say, in the 22nd century, is no longer salient? It becomes sort of an entropically challenged enigma? Quizzically, Positron, no spin. P.S. - Will you and others always be Board members, to ask questions of, or will you (sadly for us) (happily for you) someday graduate? - Is it prudent to keep questions down to 1 per year, to give others more opportunity to inquire? Are those who inquire correctly designated Inquisitors? - As a parting wish, may none of you _ever_ be 100 hour bored.
ADear Positron, Pretty sure it comes down to common sense on this one. Don't write in a question like, "Dear the Board, How long would it take me to circumnavigate the globe by helicopter? Also, do you have a good pie recipe?" I mean, if you're going to be flyin' around everywhere by helicopter, surely you can find yourself a good pie somewhere... Or at least submit them as separate questions, as the "Asking a Question" page says. And come on, read our minds, view it as what it was intended to be. (Imagine a little smiley emoticon here. I don't feel justified typing it, but don't want you to feel as though I'm mad or something. Communication over the internet frustrates me a bit. Anyhow...) To answer your more-than-one unrelated questions, yes, writers eventually move on to other things, and no, you're not limited to one question a year. Just don't flame us with one hundred questions a month or something, lest you be blocked from asking more. -Commander Keen ADear Positron, No Spin, According to Board Question #47895, you can have seven questions in our queue at any one time. That equals a lot more than one per year. Just saying. - The Black Sheep Back to top QDear Home Dogs, Who is the coolest writer currently working for the 100 Hour Board? - Gertrude the Great
ADear great, Waldorf and Sauron are a pretty awesome tag team. -not either of them ADear Gertrude, I nominate Anomalous. Just sayin'. ✭Banana Republican, who hears that "not either of them" are pretty awesome, as well. ADear Not Either of Us, Ah shucks. Thank you. Dear Gertrude, You knew this was coming, but honestly - every single one of these guys is a little bit awesome. We clearly don't see eye to eye on everything, and some of us don't have much in common with others, but everyone here is intelligent, talented, and honorable, and the more I get to know them individually the more I respect them. And hey, I could say the same thing about the readers. We're all in this together, Waldorf and Sauron ADear Banana Republican, Well, now you're just sucking up... Dear Great, The awesomeness of the Board continues to astound me, as well as the variety of knowledge that writers hold. Everyone has their own strengths, and I think that we play off of each other pretty well. I'm also continually amazed at the variety of questions that readers manage to come up with. One thing's for certain: there's never a boring day on the Board. I broke into song after reading Waldorf and Sauron's response, ⋯Anomalous ADear Gertrude, Laser Jock's responsible for some of my favorite answers, is responsible in a couple of ways for me being on the Board, and has been an absolute joy to collaborate with recently, so I'll throw his name out specifically. But in case we haven't been self-congratulatory enough, a few more things about writers in general. Everyone can see the end product, the answers, but I appreciate the members of the Board even more from inside it. Internally, everyone's professional without missing chances to be funny, feedback is direct but constructive, and our discussions are generally positive and productive. Outside the Board, our members do some awesome things that they don't post about or that you can't appreciate from the posts (for example, my stomach requires that I mention Claudio and Foreman's barbecue skills - if they didn't make the best meat I've ever had I can't figure out what else could take first). Also, the editors, web team, and proofers do a ton of work on top of normal answering that doesn't get recognized enough. Lastly, I'll follow my distinguished colleagues and say to the readers: thanks. You do give us some epic questions. ~Ƥ. Ɗ. Kirĸe AGtG- The Black Sheep is pretty awesome. Her answers are always well thought out and her advice is sound. That's my vote. - Cuddlefish Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, how likely is it for an unmarried pregnant woman to be a student in active good standing at byu? is there any statistics on this? i mean, like there are reasons other than that woman's immoralitly for her to be pregnant, right? - Anonymous
ADear Anon, It is possible for a single woman to be pregnant and not living an immoral life style. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. -obstreperous ADear Anonymous, It's very possible for this kind of thing to happen, and none of the circumstances that this kind of situation would arise from are any of our business. I did some calling and checking to make sure no statistics like this exist, and apparently none do. Should any young woman be in this kind of a situation and still be brave enough to continue attending classes, I hope we'll all be decent enough people to leave her alone and not speculate as to what her situation is, privately or publicly. Leave them alone, for the love. -Sardonic. ADear Anonymous, May I also add, on behalf of certain married pregnant friends of mine, that not every married pregnant woman will be wearing a wedding ring, due to forgetfulness or swelling caused by the pregnancy. I understand that it is dashed irritating for such women when they notice that passersby are hurling ignorant, supercilious looks in their direction. Let's just mind our own business, people. ~Hermia Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, I was just using the financial center today and clicked "apply credit". It now says that it is applying credit, but I don't have anywhere for it to go. I was wondering how long it will the button will say "applying credit" before it realizes that there is no where for the money to be applied. Constantly Confused
ADear Confused, Pick me, pick me! I spoke with someone in Financial Aid just yesterday about this very question. It's like I'm psychic or something. I was told that if you are trying to apply credit due to extra loan or grant money, the "Apply Credit" button is completely useless. Those refunds automatically go through. As long as your tuition, etc. has been paid in full, the funds will be processed and deposited into your bank account (or mailed to you) within a few days of your tuition being paid. You said that there is nothing for the credit to be applied to, which means that one of two things has happened: First, you could just be caught in that annoying processing time that lies between getting your tuition paid and getting your refund. Second, if your funds had nothing to do with tuition, you just have to wait for someone in Financial Aid to process your request to apply the credit. This could take anywhere between a couple of days to a couple of weeks, depending on your individual circumstances and how busy the Financial Aid Office is. The "Apply Credit" button isn't an automatic thing; what takes a simple click of the button for us takes a little bit more effort over at Financial Aid. I understand your pain, ⋯Anomalous Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Which writer can write the best (clean) limericks? Please demonstrate your skillz. - The Prince
ADear princely, "There once was a man named Enos..." ... Not me. -Cognoscente ADear Prince- Why would you want a clean limerick? -Foreman ADear the reader formerly known as Prince, To quote Anonymous (he's my favorite author): "The limerick packs laughs anatomical In space that is quite economical, But the good ones I've seen So seldom are clean, And the clean ones so seldom are comical." I guess I'll join Cognoscente in the ranks of failures. - Commander Keen ADear Cognoscente, Ha ha ha ha ha. Dear Prince, I tried, and failed epically. Not so much at the limerick part of the question, though. The failed ranks are swelling, ⋯Anomalous ADear Prince, You might be inclined to make fun of us, Since the answer's apparently "none of us." But lest you deride, We have on our side, The fact that there aren't a ton of us. Or. . . A limerick's a poor test of a writer, And many other writers are brighter, But in writing these out, It has left me no doubt, That this white guy has never felt whiter. - Rating Pending (who thinks limerick writing ranks just under being double-jointed as a skill: no one knows why it happens to some people and it's not something you bust out at parties) ADear, To finish Cognoscente's: There once was a man named Enos, Who prayed for the nicest and meanes'. At his name kids may snigger, (Both small kids and bigger,) But his story, turns out, is the cleanes'. And for my own, I once thought our writers dare-takin', They even ate ice cream of bacon, But your tiny query, To most is so scary, I see now that I was mistaken. That's right guys, I just called you out. Step up, ditch that little-girl pout. It's like a rap battle, Who's got the best prattle? The loser gets struck with the gout. -Uffish Thought ADear Prince, I found an inkblot groady in a tournament (no-gi) I saw a moth but he was wroth - the dripping, bloody old foagy. -The Supershrink ADear Uffish, my rhymes are elite so you better get ready, toute suite. your chops'll be achin' cause the humble pie bakin' will be yours when you get yourself beat! My lim'ricks would send you all packing but my subject matter's slightly lacking. But hey, I'm so dapper that I'll make like a rapper and get all my brags out for stacking. So you want something like a rap battle? Well girl, I hope you don't tattle, cause when I get through there'll be none left of you. You gonna get owned just like chattel. Fruit, vegetable, meat, pastry, dairy-- I got mad skills in things culinary. From the gourmets to dives I'll be getting high fives. You want leftovers? Sorry, there's nary. Let's give a shout-out to HFAC whose mad pseudo-science attack brings the photos and graphs and the copious laughs when these genius bros meet back to back. My lim'ricks are Irish-tinged burnsauce. You don't know? Well, it's time that you learn, boss! I'm bald and I'm white, but my rhythms are TIGHT! I feel like Rachel that time that she spurned Ross! OHHHH, you got burned by a Friends reference! So Uffish, don't get all freaked out! You didn't know I would bring on this bout. Hey, what you think, Uffish? Is your face getting puffish? Yeah, that's just how it goes with the gout. -Claudio ADear Little Prince, You want rhythmic samples of wordiness without any traces of dirtiness. You won't get real dirty by the fruits of our qwerty... but you'll clearly get plenty of nerdiness. Love, Waldorf and Sauron ADear The Prince, I'm going to break all the rules of your question, but I hope it will be good for a laugh. Unless comical violence counts as "clean," this series of limericks isn't exactly. I also didn't write it (my family is rather proud of our limerick/haiku/satirical lyrics/general literary craziness, and this is the work of my genius brother, but since he's in my gene pool and I'm not much for limericks and I know he's proud of these I'm going to share them anyway). This series of limericks was inspired by a young woman who was far, far too proud of her cat BooBoo (my family members aren't exactly cat-loving folk). The Exorcism of BooBoo, Beast from Below There once was a cat named BooBoo Who marauded and maimed, it is true, 'Til a lawnmower blade Came along and filleted The monstrosity known as BooBoo. We continue the tail of BooBoo, Freshly risen for Life #2; Next arrived a flamethrower, Which let out a ROAR, And roasted the demon BooBoo. For the third time consider BooBoo, Who went to the box to doo-doo; But a snake hid therein, Bit BooBoo on the chin, And thus foiled the doo-doo of BooBoo. We now follow BooBoo (who says "meow") To a river (but never mind how) For a nice spot of fishing, Though BooBoo is wishing She'd noticed the sharks before now. BooBoo's fortune continues to dive With a truck driver, too drunk to drive. Swerving wildly, head tossing, And there's BooBoo's crossing, Which brings us to Death #5. See now BooBoo, all greyish and brown, Caught in rapids, and thus doomed to drown, And it's really a pity; Her fur is so pretty, But it's also what's dragging her down. Chapter 7 begins for BooBoo As an avalanche roils into view; All the boulders and snow Aim for BooBoo below And do just what we'd hoped they would do. For the 8th time we watch the BooBoo; Who wreaks havoc with nary a clue, Frolicking with a blender, Which swiftly doth rend her In many more pieces than two. Still ... We've not seen the end of BooBoo; Cats have nine lives (as you prob'ly knew), But before we start fretting, Let's not be forgetting A world full of chances With swords and with lances, With Swiss Army Knives And with Colt .45s And with soldiers in ranks And with nukes and with tanks, With rampaging gorillas And rapid chinchillas And tempests and fires And high-voltage wires And flooding and drought And the plague and the gout And rubella and rabies, Sclerosis and scabies, Ebola, malaria ... So go on (I dare ya); The last one, I'll leave up to you. Yeah. That's my family. And here's one from me, to make this a little more legal: I thought Provo the height of uncool, But my job hunt has proved me a fool. Though with ref'rences rife I just suck at real life; This September I'm wishing for school. - The Black Sheep Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Do any of you play Dungeons and Dragons? Nay, Contrary (I don't, but it sounds interesting - at least from the little that I've read about it.)
ADear Nay, Contrary, I played in the past, and no longer do. It is an interesting game: it can be extremely rich and complex and involve a lot of creativity - it can be more or less like collaboratively writing a story with friends. However, I found it detrimental to me personally for a few reasons that might be of interest. One is that the manuals are not clean. They have generally very low standards of modesty and some descend to showing very humanoid yet topless female critters. Unsurprising given that the game caters to teenage/young adult fantasies, but still unacceptable. Another is that it tends to be inappropriately time consuming. It's dangerous for the same reasons as WOW and the like. You can easily pour days of free time into optimizing characters and reading the (many, expensive) manuals even when you're not playing, and spending Friday nights sitting around a table with four or five other guys is pretty lame compared to dating (whether you're married or not). Worse yet, this timesink is somehow addicting. However, it's all ultimately a fantasy, and I think Elder Bednar's recent talk discussing games that are "distractions, diversions, and detours that have no lasting value" applies. Thirdly, the game revolves fundamentally around violence. Players often spend most of their gameplay time devising innovative ways to put as much hurt on their enemies as possible and then resolving the dice rolls and such involved in this, all the while fixated on violence. This isn't especially consistent with the counsel to avoid anything that glamorizes violence or portrays it as commonplace or acceptable. Lastly, the game encourages players to contemplate and even roleplay evil. The manuals provide in-depth descriptions of how to be evil in the game. Someone, either the dungeon master or the players, has to get mentally inside the evil side, describe its actions, and fight for its supremacy, and both sides frequently end up choosing for their characters to do things they would never do themselves. Or maybe they even just think about their characters being evil. This is still unhealthy - having your mind sympathetically tied up with evil is harmful. Rejection of evil should always be implicit and unhesitatant. So yes, I would say it was interesting, but I'd also recommend staying away from it. Now the obligatory disclaimer - I'm not saying everyone who plays D&D falls for the pitfalls I've mentioned above. I'm just observing, as someone who's been negatively affected by all of them, that the pitfalls exist and that I'm happiest staying far away. Yours, Anonymous Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, I find it easier to be witty, charming and eloquent via instant messaging verses face to face conversations. Not only do you have informational resources at your disposal, you are allowed time to generate a good response. However, when it's face to face, I find it difficult to manifest the same Charisma. Do any of you share the same problem? Please share your experiences, and perhaps viable solutions to this conundrum. - token raven friend
ADear TRF, Yes, I do have this problem. I have found that the best solution is to practice, practice, practice. When you are instant messaging and trying to be witty, slowly work on decreasing the time that it takes you to respond. Also, pay more attention to your thought processes, and what precisely it is you are doing or thinking about when you are generating a witty response. Then try to do the same in other situations. Also, I think that another reason it can be easier to present yourself favorably over the internet is that there is less pressure. Even though you are talking to someone, all you can see is a familiar room and computer monitor. Learning ways to relax more in social situations can help take care of this part of the problem. ~Hermia ADear friend, This also happens to me sometimes, so here are my thoughts: I think it's important to realize that one doesn't have to be witty, charming, or even eloquent all the time. In fact, people who try and pull that off can be pretty annoying...unless they're really good at it... So, don't focus so much on what you'd say if you were Mr. Cool Joe. Just be yourself and, as Hermia said, relax. -Commander Keen ADear token raven friend, I have a really good friend. We're actually amazingly alike in our personalities, sense of humor, likes and dislikes, and had pretty awesome conversations. But for some reason, instant messaging was . . . problematic. In our face-to-face conversations we used so much inflection and/or word emphasis to indicate sarcasm or double meanings or to refer to previous conversations that going from speaking to typing made statements confusing and sometimes awkward. This was a singular situation, but it might help you in yours to keep in mind that personal interaction can use things that are lost in instant messaging. When you don't know what to say, sometimes just smiling or having an interested, engaging expression on your face makes up for not having anything specific to say. - Rating Pending (who, if he were to give his Board answers in a spoken, off-the-cuff format, would find that most of them made no sense whatsoever) Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, What are the rules, written and unwritten, regarding free play for Lap Swim in the RB? I really want to do it but I want to wait until I know what the expectations are. For example, there are 3 pools. Does it matter which one you use? Slower people in one or the other? Is it socially acceptable to jump into another person's lane if there aren't any empty ones? Swim on one side or the other of the lane? Please include anything you think I should know before I go and embarrass myself. Thanks! - California beach bum
ADear California Beach Bum, I used to do lap swim at the RB every day a couple of semesters ago, and my overriding advice is to calm down because you won't make an idiot of yourself. Just go with the flow. I will, however, share some observations with you. When I was going, only two of the pools were divided into lanes, but maybe that's changed. It did not seem to me like there was any sort of rhyme or reason to which pool people used. They just hopped in an open lane when there was one. And if there isn't one, by all means, hop into a lane and share. Do a little watching and see who is going about as fast as you would be. (Really watch speed for a little while and don't go on outward appearances. When I do it every day, I go at a pretty good clip, and I've lapped really in-shape dudes and been completely embarrassed by sixty- and seventy-somethings.) Get in when they can see you getting in. It seems to me that when I shared a lane with one other person we both just stuck on one side of the lane or the other, but on a few occasions I shared with two other people and then we swam around the lane's edge, always on the right side, like you'd do if you were driving a car. Just do whatever the other people in your lane are doing. In my experience everyone's pretty accommodating and easy-going. Have fun and get a workout in. Good times. - The Black Sheep ADear California, I used to go swimming several times a week in the early morning hours before classes and here's what I noticed about the rhyme and rhythm of things: First and most importantly, the warm, oh-so-nice diving board pool tended to be used as a lap pool as well, even though it doesn't have lanes. I've only ever seen it used this way early in the morning. It was mostly older adults in that pool that would take it nice and slow, which was great for me this past winter semester when I was heavy with child and wanted to take it easy, too. All of us regulars got along so great, it was such good times. The lap pool that is right next to the diving board pool is the coldest of the three. It gets deeper at one end as well, and this is the pool where a lot of the more hardcore swimmers tend to go and the one that is used during competitions. The other lap pool is of a moderate temperature and tends to be what the more easy-going swimmers stick to. In this pool, you can grab a kickboard and inch your way along without anyone even blinking an eye. You could get away with this in the other lap pool as well, but possibly not without a flickering eye or two. The Black Sheep is absolutely right that you just need to go with the flow. It would be a nice gesture if the lanes are all full and you just kind of acknowledged that you're going to join someone in theirs. Some people will want to stick to their own side when you share, whereas others will circle around the lane. Just don't stress about what you should or shouldn't do and have fun. It's BYU, most people will be ridiculously nice to you. Apparently the three pools are labeled A, B, and C. I've asked several lifeguards which pool is which, and none of them have ever been able to tell me (they've taken educated guesses, but nothing definitive), or else I would have passed that information along to you. Oh, the mysteries of life. -Sky Bones Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, As I was washing my hair this morning with my volumizing shampoo, this thought came to me: does this really do anything? So that's my question; do specialty shampoos (ie, volumizing, frizz reducing, curl helping) actually do anything or is it all just a marketing tactic? - Starry Eyed
ADear Starry Eyed, From what I've seen researching, it really depends on the shampoo itself. For example, this news article explains that yes, volumizing shampoos have ingredients that help produce the promised results, while many shampoos that claim to be gentler on colored hair aren't as necessary as the shampoo companies would have us believe. I also read that many clarifying shampoos are in fact too effective, and can be too harsh on your hair. ~Hermia Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Theoretically speaking, if I move from an apartment of four people to an apartment of one person, does that mean I need to clean the shower 1/4 as often? Or does the constant speed of bacteria growth kill my theory? Maybe I could get it to grow four times slower... -Lazy
ADear Lazy, I'm not here to bust out any fancy math, but I will say a couple things: independent of how many people there are at your place, there should be a direct correlation between how often you clean the shower and how much you mind standing in your own filth. But really, from everything I've found, it looks like there's a ton of bacteria hangin' out in there no matter what you do. You should check out this paper, or at least the "Discussion" part towards the bottom. Looks like I'm not the only one who bathes in the toilet! But, it says that (at least in the couple of college buildings they looked at) there were more bacteria in the shower than anywhere else (sink, door, even toilet). Gross! Yeah, it's not the most professionally done study, but hey, it's something. You should also look at this article. Remember to replace your shower curtain every once and again! Nasty stuff, and doubly so if you have a weak immune system... Reading those sites may make you want to go clean your tub right now, and I wouldn't blame you. As for me, I'll probably continue to not worry about it too much, but I may give the curtain a sideways glance when I scrub up tomorrow morning. Happy showering! -Commander Keen Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Why does the word 'spanking' appear in the phrase 'brand spanking new'? —Damasta
ADear Damasta, The "spanking" in this phrase originally had nothing to do with the idea of slapping a butt. It means "exceptionally large or fine." The full etymology is a little more intricate, but the gist is that the rhyme was catchy marketing. Love, Waldorf and Sauron Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Who is the biology 100 professor featured in the "First Day of Class" slideshow on the BYU homepage? - Josh
ADear Josh, It looks like Professor C. Riley Nelson (the slide show in question is here). -Whistler ADear Josh, Indeed, it is C. Riley Nelson. Incidentally, his Biology 100H class was without question my favorite class in my entire college experience. Highly recommended. -Yellow Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Near the duck pond on the south side of campus there is a set of bleachers. Are those every used for anything? Thanks, Mostly Random Potatoes
ADear Mostly Random Potatoes, The duck pond is more formally referred to as the botany pond. The area around the pond was originally designed and planted to give botany students the opportunity to identify and study the plants they were covering in class. The bleachers have been used for related lectures, at least in the past. I also imagine that other non-botany instructors might occasionally take their classes down their as an occasional treat. ~Hermia ADear Potatoes, They have also been used by the late Happy Pirates, a disbanded improv group of special kinship to the Board, to seat an audience during an outdoor show. You're so welcome, Waldorf and Sauron Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, The article Mormons, operas, and Mormon operas from Mormon Times mentions an opera called Eliza by Murray Boren and Eric Samuelsen. In the notes, the opera is given the date "2004," however, I haven't been able to find any evidence that the opera has ever been produced or published. What, then, does the year 2004 refer to? The year it was completed? - Katya
ADear Katya, I passed your question on to Eric Samuelsen and he explained:
Love, Waldorf and Sauron Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, With football season quickly approaching, I am in need of some football desktop wallpapers for my computer. Recently I watched the video of the football team taking pictures for this season out on the salt flats, and the pictures they showed looked awesome! There's even a poster available in the bookstore (already got it). But my question is, do you know if and how I can get those pictures for my computer? In years past they've released some of the promo shots as desktops, but I haven't seen that they've done anything like that this year. Thanks! -KFERN
AKFERN, You're in luck! You can find a few different wallpapers (including the picture used for the poster) right here. Enjoy! And even though this will post after the game happens, I hope the Cougars do well on Saturday. -Commander Keen Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, In Alma 37:23 we read about Gazelem. Who is he and what relationship does he have to the Urim and Thummim? Someone told me that that verse is a prophecy of Joseph Smith but when I read the surrounding verses I definitely think it is past tense (from the reference of Alma the younger) so it can't be Joseph Smith. I thought maybe he was the one that "made" the Urim and Thummim, but we read in Ether 3: 23 about the Urim and Thummim being given to the brother of Jared. So do you think Gazelem was pre-brother-of-Jared? Between b.o.J. and Alma? Is he Joseph Smith? Did he make an/the Urim and Thummim or just use one (or am I totally off on this altogether)? - U&T
ADear U&T, The Book of Mormon index simply says that Gazelem is "a name given to a servant of God." There does not seem to be any further official doctrine or commentary on the matter. If you like, you can check out Gazelem's Wikipedia page (yes, Gazelem has a Wikipedia page), and check out an online thread I found dedicated to the subject (I warn you - not all of the contributers are intelligent). ~Hermia Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Why are movie sequels/triquels/etc. generally bad while the same for books are generally good? - Pickwick the dodo
ADear Pickwick, There are plenty of book sequels you don't hear about, so I don't know if you can really make that generalization. But it is true that movie sequels are usually bad—though frequently, when the sequel was bad, the original wasn't really worthwhile anyway. We're talking Hollywood movies here. One thing you have to understand is that in Hollywood, sequels are purely financially motivated. An original film is a risk that's success, in large measure, depends on its execution, but a sequel has something studios call a "built-in audience." They know that most of the people who saw a very popular film will see the sequel, based on a trailer and a poster alone. And so quality isn't really an issue. Selling a sequel is monumentally easy: we saw this summer how one of the most critically hated films of all time was also one of the most financially successful films of all time—Transformers 2. The name sells itself. Along with this grab for money comes an over-reliance on formula. Studio heads don't want something new, they want something they can describe in terms of other movies that sold lots of tickets. Screenwriters are hired and fired based on how well they can repackage typical Hollywood fare. So what do we get? Formulaic, predictable plots; stock characters; huge, violent set pieces; and a romantic subplot. Most Hollywood sequels have a lot of great stuff—design, acting, directing, special effects, music, etc.—but you can't make a good movie from a bad script. And you can't write a good script when some bigwig executive producer in a suit who graduated from business school is calling the shots based on what sells best. And that producer is going to keep greenlighting awful sequels until we stop buying tickets to crap like Transformers 2. I recently heard a screenwriting panel where the screenwriter asked those who had seen Transformers 2 to raise their hands. He then asked the audience to punch those with their hands up in the face because people like them are why it's so hard to make good movies. Those of you readers who payed to see Transformers 2: shaaaaaaame on you. On another note, here's a list of a few great movie sequels: The Empire Strikes Back, The Godfather Part II, Toy Story 2, The Road Warrior, The Dark Knight, Gremlins 2, The Wrath of Khan, Harry Potter 5, and Return of the King. Love, Waldorf and Sauron Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Why is it that in General Conference, the Engisn, etc. when pornography is discussed, it seems that it is shown that men are the only ones who are involved in pornography, and that women are just the victims of it because of their spouses involvement in it? I was addicted to pornography and erotic fiction for a few years while in high school, and the thing that was so hard for me was finally admitting it to my parents and bishop because I felt like only men did it and I was a much more terrible person because I was a girl. My bishop told me that I wasn't the only girl he has talked with about an addiction like this, which made me feel better, but I have yet to hear anything from general authorities about women. I feel like this is a growing concern and that girls need to be warned of it. When i was in young women, we never had a lesson on staying away from it, that I can remember. It really bothers me, because I know there are other women out there who were like me and afraid to come out about it. Anonymous
ADear Anonymous, The problem of pornography is more widespread among men than women, and the brethren have, certainly, brought up the subject more often in priesthood sessions of Conference than in General Conference. As I've browsed several articles on LDS.org to answer your question, I've noticed that aside from priesthood session messages, the brethren are remarkably gender-neutral in their advice, repeatedly warning men AND women against pornography. I don't think it was hard to confess because you are a girl; rather, I think you found it hard to admit because you did something wrong. That's normal. Confession is hard. You're right, women should be warned—and they are, and have been. For evidence that the Church hasn't neglected to warn women of the dangers of pornography, please see here, here, here and President Monson's most recent Conference address here (emphasis added):
Love, Waldorf and Sauron ADear Anonymous, I'm a female, and during my freshman year I worked up the courage to speak to my bishop about my years-long struggle with masturbation. I didn't know what masturbation was when I started doing it, and when I brought it up I wasn't even sure if it was the type of thing one brought up to their bishop. I was already mortified, and then the bishop said, "Masturbation isn't nearly as serious as other sexual transgressions. I'd say that 99.9% of males have tried it because they are so wrapped up in the changes going on in their bodies. But you're a girl." I remember how my most prominent emotion then became shame for being such a disgusting female rather than anything like Godly sorrow. I think I understand where you are coming from. I agree with you that this is a problem. I think there are women in the Church who feel an incredible amount of guilt over their sexuality, because sometimes it seems like women are held up as examples of chastity or even sexlessness whose job it is to control the sexed-up males long enough to get to the temple. I agree that it can seem like a much bigger deal when a woman commits the same transgression as a man. I hope that this will get better, and I really feel like it will as time goes on. And Waldorf and Sauron are right in that we have all heard enough about pornography to know the Church's position on it, even though women don't hear nearly the same amount of it as men do. I also know that I knew deep down that masturbation was something the Church wouldn't approve of the instant I started doing it, even though I had no idea that there was even a name for the thing I was doing. A lack of counsel isn't exactly an excuse, though I know that isn't the real issue here. My roommate freshman year and I ended up discovering that we were both seeing the bishop at the same time for the same thing, and we had the discussion your question covers. There are people who notice this, and maybe with the addition of the new Young Women's value something will change. I just hope that fewer LDS women will add more shame to their situation than they already feel just because they are a certain gender. -A writer Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, We were joking before one of my classes this week about prank calling all of the numbers in the yellow pages. Not that I would actually do that, but during the course of the conversation the "Prince Albert in a can" prank call came up. Where did it come from? What in the world does it actually mean? And of course, Is your refrigerator running? -Random pre-class conversation maker
ADear chit-chatter, Prince Albert was a popular brand of pipe tobacco. It was sold in cans. For those who have never heard of the Prince Albert prank call, the prank caller would telephone a store and ask the clerk if they had "Prince Albert in a can" (it was also sold in bags, which is why asking if it came in a can could be considered a legitimate question). When the answer was "yes," the caller then said, "Well, you'd better go let him out!" And then, presumably, break into fits of giggles as the universe rolled its eyes. - Rating Pending (whose refrigerator wasn't running! You've spared me quite a bit of spoilage. Thank you anonymous young man!) Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, So since classes have just started I just went through what I imagine many students go through, which is trying to figure out where in each building my classes are located. Buildings like the HFAC just blow my mind for room numbering, and other buildings also provide difficulties in finding my classrooms. For example, one semester I spent literally 30 minutes trying to find my piano classroom in the HFAC when I gave up and walked outside. As I walked away in defeat I happened to spot a door from the OUTSIDE of the building that was labeled with my room number. The room wasn't even accessible from inside. Are there floor maps available online to help alleviate these kinds of things? They sometimes have them posted in the buildings, but they are sometimes equally hard to find. I think just a glance at these floor maps would help at least a little bit. I know I'm not the only person that ever has problems finding room numbers, because I sat for about 10 minutes in the MARB before my class answering at least 5 people's questions about where room 363 was. Just wondering if those kinds of maps exist online. -私(Watashi)
ADear Watashi, I understand your frustration. Floorplans are available by clicking on the link on the left sidebar at plantwo.byu.edu. Love, Waldorf and Sauron Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, hi. I'm about 3 months pregnant and trying to move. By the way, I don't recommend it. I know I need to be careful, not work myself too hard and not lift heavy things. Can you give me some details on that? Specifically the lifting heavy things? How heavy is too heavy? - me
ADear You, Just to be safe, you really shouldn't lift and carry anything that exceeds ten pounds. If you're having a normal and healthy pregnancy, then you should be fine shifting things that are heavier than ten pounds, but I would recommend you stick to organizing, light cleaning, and packing things in boxes. Leave the lifting to the men. It's what they're there for after all. Make sure you take frequent breaks, eat plenty of food, and drink lots of water. If you start feeling the slightest bit light-headed or dizzy, then stop whatever you're doing and lay down for a little bit. Since you're probably not showing much, if at all, and thus don't have some big belly in your way, you might be tempted to do a lot of work in very long stretches. Be careful about this and be reasonable with yourself. What's most important is that you take care of yourself and your unborn baby. I moved across the country when I was five months pregnant and it's certainly not fun, but definitely doable if you're smart about it. -Sky Bones ADear you, If mobility is really that problematic, you might consider a Rascal. - Furious George Back to top QDear 100 Hour Board, Are there treadmills on campus for student use? If so where? Also, if you came here from a place that was at a significantly lower altitude than here, is it true there is some adjustment to running at a higher altitude? What is that like? Thanks, - Runner (kind of)
ADear Runner (kind of), Yes, there are treadmills in the weight rooms on campus. I know there are at least three in the women-only weight room located in the RB (the only one I've used). You can find out more details about these weight rooms in Board Question #30255. There is also an indoor track in the Smith Fieldhouse. If you've just moved to Utah from a lower altitude, then you'll most likely have some adjusting to do. Just how much adjusting completely depends on your body and your physical fitness. You'll probably feel a shortness of breath whenever you exert yourself, even if it's something simple like going up a flight of stairs. The air might feel thinner and even elusive, as if there's not enough oxygen. It can be a little weird at first, but the best thing to do is take it easy in the beginning and make sure you take really deep, long breaths even when you're exhausted. This will ensure that you get the most oxygen out of each breath and help you to adjust more quickly. -Sky Bones ADear Runner, There are also a number of treadmills in the normal (mixed gender) weight rooms, on the second floor of the Smith Fieldhouse. As someone from pretty near sea level, I can corroborate Sky Bones's answer about coming here. It can be an interesting sensation to go for a run and, although your muscles aren't tired at all yet, you feel out of breath surprisingly quickly. Fortunately, the effect goes away fairly quickly—it takes somewhere between a couple weeks and a month, I'd say. —Laser Jock |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||