Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.

Posts for September 3, 2009

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

During the Lend Lease program and later on after the USA had officially entered the war, how did our country send the fighters and bombers to England? Did they fly across, or were they sent in cargo ships? When were they finally able to make the hop all the way?

- Patata Brava

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ADear Patata Brava,

Before the U.S.A. officially entered World War II, fighters and bombers were sent to England on cargo ships. A lot of other supplies were sent to England and the Allies, so it would make sense for all of those, including the big guns, to be sent by ship.

As for paying the U.S.A. back, this quote gives a good summary:

Quote:

In December 1940, after Prime Minister Winston Churchill informed Roosevelt that Great Britain could not pay for supplies, the president crafted a new initiative. The U.S. would “lend” Great Britain matériel and Britain would repay the United States through various means to be determined later. This program, known as Lend-Lease, became law on March 11, 1941. (From PBS.org)

Most of the supplies lent to England were not paid for monetarily, but paid back in other materials or services.

-Mico

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I want to know if I have unrealistic expectations of love. Going into this relationship (my first serious relationship, I might add), I thought it would be somewhat like the movies. I thought I would feel happy 100% of the time. I thought I would enjoy every one of his jokes and be interested in every one of his stories and conversation topics. I thought kissing him would be appealing 100% of the time. And I thought his presence would perpetually uplift me, all day, every day. I thought he would be the epitome of fun. I thought I would feel so much happier than I've ever felt before.

Don't get me wrong, he's wonderful. But I've found that life still happens, even in a relationship. I still have the same problems, insecurities, and weaknesses. I still feel tired sometimes, and it's not always easy to be interested in conversation or kissing when I just want to go to sleep. I thought I would always feel giddy before our dates and be overwhelmed with this sense of euphoria when we're together. But it's not always like that. Like I said, he's wonderful. But as it turns out, life isn't always a million times better when he's around. I've found that my own moods and expectations have a much bigger impact on my level of happiness at any given time.

I know relationships aren't perfect. And I know he won't solve all of my problems. But where is the line between a good (but imperfect) relationship and a bad relationship? I don't really know what to expect.

-It isn't like the movies

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ADear nope, it sure isn't,

Is it wrong for me to start out by disbelieving the first paragraph of your question? I hope that's ok, because it doesn't make me think less of you, or think that your question is less valid. But I have a hard time believing that you really, in your heart of hearts, did think that it would be a 100%, all-the-time, never-ending, always-uplifting situation. If that really is what you thought (as opposed to something that you merely hoped), then this relationship, whatever else it is, might be a very important wake-up call.

I don't think that you are not a romantic if you are smart about your expectations. By that, I mean that you should expect the right things about your companion. You should expect that he will respect your person and your ideas. You should expect that he won't belittle you, degrade your sense of self-worth or be abusive in any way. You should expect him to be willing to listen to you and work through inevitable problems. I think that love, finding it and working for it, can change everything about your life - your goals, how you spend your time, your outlook on life, etc. But a relationship, even an ideal one, can't change who you are overnight. If you weren't happy 100% of the time before, then you can't expect to be that way with him. You are still you and he is still him; it's just that now you are choosing to be together. The formation of an "us" will bring about some changes, but as you say, "relationships aren't perfect" and "he won't solve all of [your] problems."

So what can you legitimately expect? I think that a romantic relationship that is any good needs to incorporate the same things that make a friend-to-friend relationship work. Think about your friends, particularly your best friends. Do you always (and I mean always) like being with them? Do you never feel irritated with them? Do you just need some time alone? Do you sometimes have to tell them that there's something you wish they wouldn't do? Your romantic relationship (in my humble opinion) needs to be with someone who you like being around, if not all the time, at least most of the time. It needs to be with someone who you can share stories and ideas with. It needs to be with someone who makes you feel genuinely happy. Most of the time.

Will you have bad days for reasons unrelated to him? Yes, as will he. Will he make your life "a million times better" just when he's around? No, and you'd be a pretty vain person to imagine that you do the same for him. But should your life be better because of that person? Yes. Expect that. And if it's not happening, then it is time to move on.

- Rating Pending (who couldn't stand the pressure of being 100% uplifting and interesting. Also, he is aware that no one is interested in kissing him 100% of the time.)

ADear Not the Movies,

One problem I have had is comparing my current relationship to my previous one. My previous one was in high school, and maybe it was the lack of pressure to get married, or the fact that we had classes together, but everything seemed so fun and easy.

In college, I began dating someone else. It took a long time for me to use the word "relationship" in a beyond-friendship sense. I felt like things were so difficult for many reasons, and I tried on occasion to break up with him. Then he asked me, "Are you happy?" He pointed out that when we did things together, I seemed happy; when we were with people, or watching a movie, or playing skittle-bowling, then I was happy. I realized that I was looking for a perfect relationship, and even though my first one was not actually perfect, the comparison was making me more unhappy.

Now, I accept that things are not going to be wonderful all the time. I think one of the most important things in a relationship is being comfortable around the other person. If you are feeling bad, you should be able to talk to him; if you don't want to kiss or whatever, then he should be okay with that. Being able to enjoy things together and help each other are going to be better in the long run than just feeling lovey-dovey at all times.

Those things contribute to a good (but imperfect) relationship. It is a bad relationship if you are never happy, if you feel uneasy around him, or if either of you do not respect the other.

-Mico

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Can you help me find a TV show I watched when I was a kid? I can't remember if this is the premise of the whole show or just a segment of it, but here's what I remember:
There was a jukebox with a bunch of little people or elves inside it who operated it. There was a guy, I think an old guy, who the elves never listened to and they would never play what he wanted them to. I'm sorry, that's all I can remember. It might have been on public television. Any ideas?

- ah nostalgia

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ADear nostalgia,

Sounds like a segment from Shining Time Station.

Love,
Waldorf and Sauron

AN-

Does this look familiar?

- Cuddlefish

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I grew up bilingual and I have noticed that it is so easy for me to remember and recognize foreign words in an instant. Is it really because of me growing up bilingual? I thought so, because most (if not none) of my friends who grew up speaking only one language have a much much harder time doing it. But then again, I'm no expert on this so I could be wrong. Oh and does this also mean I could pick up grammar just as easy? I have yet to realize that.

- Matty Lingo

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ADear Matty Lingo,

Yes, it really is because you grew up bilingual. From an early age you have been distinguishing one language from another without consciously knowing it, and now that means you can understand and recognize new words more easily. People say that once a person learns one foreign language, the second and third become successively easier. Since you basically grew up with the mindset of learning a new language, the same is true for you.

I would hazard a guess and say that you will be able to pick up grammar more easily; however, it depends what type of language you are studying. In my Chinese 101 class there was a man who knew about six languages. The first day of class he was practically strutting, saying how easy another language would be. All the languages he had studied previously were European and Slavic, so the grammars were all similar. Chinese has a lot of grammar principles that just seem backwards when compared with Western languages, and while he could very easily remember words and pronunciations, he struggled with the rest of us when it came to grammar.

-Mico

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

When I was younger, I used to hear that when we were spirits, we promised other spirits that we will find them when we serve missions on earth. I was gullible so I believed it of course. But as I think about it now, it seems like this is another of those mormon myths. Or is it? Is there any doctrinal back up to this?

- curious billy

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ADear curious billy,

There is no official doctrinal support for this belief. It's possible that some missionary received revelation that he had promised some other person he would find them. It's possible. I certainly don't have the authority or evidence to say that it couldn't happen. It seems logical that we had social interaction during our pre-earth life, and if I knew that someone I cared about would not be born into an environment where the Gospel was present, I might make such a promise. Who knows.

The problem is, though, that we have no evidence that we knew exactly what our circumstances would be in this life. Certainly we were foreordained to certain opportunities, but I don't believe that the exact circumstances of each individual life were pre-planned and made known to us. Without that knowledge, it would be difficult to say for sure that one person would be born into a Gospel-centered home and another not.

This is, of course, all speculation. It's possible that this was a common occurrence, it's possible that it never happened at all, and it's possible that it happened only occasionally. Regardless, it is not official Church doctrine. If an individual receives personal revelation indicating that such is the case, that instruction is for their own benefit and the benefit of those under their stewardship. Information revealed through personal revelation is not accepted as Church doctrine, and should generally not be taught in sacrament meeting or Sunday school.

-Yellow

ADear cb,

I agree completely with Yellow. I think this is solidly in the same category as the idea that we chose our parents (or vice versa) in the premortal life.

—Laser Jock

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I am a huge fan of A Cappella, but I am always looking for new stuff to listen to, so can you name all the groups that are similar to Vocal Point in their A Cappella singing aka: amazingness?

- got the sticker

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ADear got the sticker,

Voice Male
Inside Out

I don't know of too many a capella groups. Most big universities have pretty good a capella group. One of my favorites from a university is the UC Men's Octet; listen to "Am I Pretty Enough?" by them on YouTube; it is awesome.

-Mico

ADear Andy Bernard,

Do I have to be the first to bring up Rockapella? (They just toured in Utah on the 28th!) And there's always The Nylons, who I once saw live thanks to my mother's obsession.

You should also give this Wikipedia list of professional a cappella groups a chance.

Old school,
Waldorf and Sauron