Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.

Posts for August 25, 2009

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QDear P. D. Kirke,

re: Board Question #52644:

I would love to hear all about the doctrinal issues in "Mere Christianity".

- Nerd Girl

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ADear Nerd Girl,

Disclaimer: I really like C. S. Lewis. My pseudonym is a C. S. Lewis reference. This is part of the reason I feel comfortable being blunt about his theological shortcomings, and this is going to be pretty blunt. I trust we can all handle it. If anyone thinks I’m being unjustly abusive and/or promulgating false doctrine, I welcome comments with sourced arguments to that effect.

Mere Christianity suffers from several major problems. The most familiar of these is that Lewis is defending Trinitarian doctrine and its confused understanding of the relationship between the members of the Godhead. This is also one of the less problematic errors simply because it’s relatively obvious – Lewis’ discussion of a three-personal God should immediately set off alarm bells.

I will focus on more subtle issues. I’ll mainly discuss Lewis’ crucially flawed belief about creation and the broader problems it causes in his argument for God. On my first reading of Mere Christianity I found these arguments very convincing, and I imagine some part of Lewis’ popularity in the Church is because other people do as well, but a couple more mature readings have reversed my opinion.

The heart of the problem: Lewis falsely assumes ex nihilo creation. He believes God created other intelligences and created all matter out of nothing, while the Church believes that intelligences and matter are coeternal with God. We start to encounter this problem in “What Lies Behind the Law,” the fourth chapter of the first book. In it Lewis identifies two beliefs about the universe. First, the materialist view:

Quote:

People who take that view think that matter and space just happen to exist, and always have existed, nobody knows why; and that the matter, behaving in certain fixed ways, has just happened, by a sort of fluke, to produce creatures like ourselves who are able to think.

He contrasts this with the religious view:

Quote:

According to it, what is behind the universe is more like a mind than it is like anything else we know. That is to say, it is conscious, and has purposes, and prefers one thing to another. And on this view it made the universe, partly for purposes we do not know, but partly, at any rate, in order to produce creatures like itself—I mean, like itself to the extent of having minds.

These are not the only two options, and neither is correct. We know from D&C 93:33 that “the elements are eternal,” from D&C 93:29 that “Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be,” and from D&C 131:7 that “all spirit is matter, but it is more fine or pure.” These are some of the grounds for the Church’s rejection of ex nihilo creation. Also, from Joseph Smith’s King Follet Sermon:

Quote:

You ask the learned doctors why they say the world was made out of nothing, and they will answer, “Doesn’t the Bible say he created the world?” And they infer, from the word create, that it must have been made out of nothing. Now, the word create came from the word baurau, which does not mean to create out of nothing; it means to organize; the same as a man would organize materials and build a ship. Hence we infer that God had materials to organize the world out of chaos—chaotic matter, which is element, and in which dwells all the glory. Element had an existence from the time He had. The pure principles of element are principles which can never be destroyed; they may be organized and re-organized, but not destroyed. They had no beginning and can have no end.

Since matter has always existed, part of the supposed “materialist” view Lewis rejects turns out to be correct – the universe has always existed. Furthermore, his religious view is false in denying the eternity of matter.

His arguments for God rely on these false assumptions and are therefore inadequate. If true they would be helpful, but they are not; hence we must be careful not to involve them in our testimonies or teachings. Specifically, he relies on a form of the first cause argument – that everything has to be traceable to some initial event. The classical version of this argument, that all motion, life, etc. must ultimately go back to one cause, was widely thought to be fallacious before Lewis’ time. Many Christians, and even many members of the Church, probably believe it even now, but Western atheists and agnostics (correctly) see it as fallacious, so it couldn’t serve Lewis as an apologist. He relies instead on a slight modification: that morality must be due to one first cause. However, we’ve already established that the universe and the intelligences within it have existed forever, so this and all other permutations of the first cause argument are fundamentally unacceptable. I also argue that Lewis’ argument runs into other trouble. He (correctly) observes that all human societies have fundamentally similar moral beliefs and then argues that this can only be because God instituted the moral standard. I argue (and understand that the Church argues) instead that moral standards are not and cannot be constructed by anyone but are inherent in the relationships between intelligences, which have always existed. This is implied by the established doctrine that the moral law binds even God (cf. “else God would cease to be God”). God teaches us the moral law; he will judge us on our compliance with it; he did not invent it or establish it by fiat, nor should we believe such a thing. So Lewis’ central argument for God, though well-written and interesting, is invalid. The book thus fails in one of its central arguments.

I’ve thoroughly condemned Lewis’ argument for God after observing that many Christians base their testimonies on it, so I’ll briefly outline what I think is the correct argument (my understanding of the Church’s argument). Joseph Smith’s Lectures on Faith satisfy me that man cannot find out God through his own wisdom; God has to reveal himself. Hence our only arguments for God are the ones he reveals to us. I’m not aware of the first cause argument carrying much weight in the Bible – I don’t think it can be classed as an argument God has revealed to us. (I understand the first cause argument is much more dominant in Greek philosophy, but that’s a discussion that I’m not qualified to entertain.) We must look instead for the arguments that God has revealed. As I understand it, all of these involve the Spirit testifying.

One of the things the Spirit might testify of is Lewis’ own Liar/Lunatic/Lord trilemma – the idea that the record of Christ in the New Testament can only be explained by Christ being one of the above and that Lord is the only reasonable resolution. If Christ is what he claimed then God is established. This is one implicit argument of the New Testament (and the Book of Mormon and the standard works as a whole) – that Christ was the Son of God and can only be explained as such, so his statements were true, God exists, etc. It is as valid today as it was then, and I think it’s regrettable that Lewis put any energy into the (false and unnecessary) first cause line of thought when he was also such a masterful proponent of this (true, and with the Spirit adequate) trilemma argument, but in any case we can avoid the same mistake. This trilemma gives belief in God and Christ a sane basis, and then the Spirit confirms that belief. The Lord offered us a promise-experiment: as we live his words and ask in faith, we will feel it to be true. This is the ultimate base of testimony. It requires actually running a lengthy, difficult experiment on your own life and thus doesn’t have the superficial appeal of a simple, easy, and ostensibly logical first cause argument, but it is superior.

So Lewis has deeply flawed opinions about creation that invalidate his first cause argument (and all first cause arguments, and some of Lewis’ other points), but his trilemma argument, backed up by the Holy Ghost, is adequate in the absence of the first cause argument. This is the main point I’d like members of the Church to understand about Mere Christianity.

A few other doctrinal problems are worth mentioning. Lewis thinks we are far more different from Christ and God than we are; he recognizes a difference in type while we see a difference in progression. I also think that he should put more emphasis on agency. I could go on for a while about these and a few other doctrinal points, but this is overdue as is – I reread and annotated Mere Christianity within the first fifty hours, but it took me a few more than I’d hoped to then get the above written and posted – so I’ll leave it to your collective imagination.

~Ƥ. Ɗ. Kirĸe

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Okay, this may seem like a stupid question, but I don't have a degree in chemistry or physics and am not up to getting one. Sue me.

It's fairly widely accepted that if you move faster than the speed of light, then you are moving back in time--there's just the barrier of light speed to get over. It's also fairly widely accepted that temperature cannot be 0 Kelvin or lower because nothing is moving and all would cease to exist. But if this barrier were to be jumped, would you move backwards in time like you would in breaking the light barrier? Or just backwards?

- I'm moving at the speed of light--relative to the light coming out of the lightbulb.

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ADear moving,

That's actually not quite what happens at absolute zero, though it used to be the accepted description. Quantum mechanics says something else. Atoms at absolute zero are at their lowest potential energy—but that energy is not zero. It's known as the zero-point energy. Due to this energy, even at absolute zero atoms would continue to vibrate.

Another way to look at it is via the uncertainty principle. The uncertainty principle can be stated many ways, but in this case it says that the more you know about a particle's momentum (which is directly related to its velocity), the less you know about its position. Mathematically, it can be expressed like this:

where delta x is the uncertainty in position and delta p is the uncertainty in momentum. (Hbar is a constant, the value of which isn't too important to this discussion.) Try and see what happens when you make one of those deltas go to zero (you either know exactly where a particle is or exactly what its momentum is). The only way to make zero multiplied by something not equal to zero is if the "something" goes to infinity: in other words, if it were possible to know something's exact momentum (in this case, zero), it could, by the laws of the universe, be anywhere in the universe. This isn't just a limitation of our instruments; this is how nature actually works, and it's a very firm limit. Kind of cool, huh?

So obviously from that point of view it makes no sense to say that we know exactly how fast the atoms are going. Similarly, if we go back to what I mentioned in the first paragraph (absolute zero is defined as the lowest energy level an atom can be in), it really doesn't make any sense to talk about something lower than that either. But what if you tried sticking in negative temperatures in normal physics equations anyway?

A physics professor I spoke with ("Dr. J") suggested an interesting idea: if you go ahead and ignore the fact that temperatures below absolute zero are impossible, you could get some interesting side effects similar to what you see in lasers.

Let me explain. Imagine that you have a group of atoms that has two energy states. That is, each atom can be in a state with more energy, or one with less energy. Taken as a group, it's possible to predict what fraction will be in the higher or lower states. (Frequently you use the Boltzmann factor for this.) Normally, many more atoms are in the lower energy state than in the higher one.

Now, what does this have to do with lasers? To make a laser work, you have to have a population inversion: that is, more atoms in the higher energy state than in the lower one. There are various ways to make this happen, but they're sort of tricky and tend to be short-lived. The main point, though, is that a population inversion is what makes lasers happen.

What happens when you put a negative temperature in the Boltzmann factor? You find that atoms now favor the higher energy state, rather than the lower one. So you automatically have a population inversion, and pretty much anywhere light goes it's likely to get amplified (like in a laser). I can't tell you where that energy is coming from—but after all, this scenario is impossible in the first place, so what's a little random energy?

Thanks for the fun hypothetical,

—Laser Jock

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QDear New Writers of the 100 Hour Board,

I noticed that several new writers have joined the board recently! Congrats! My question is for them: What is the one thing that you have always dreamed about telling the readers of the 100 Hour Board? Any random facts or stories are more than welcome.

- Lady Doomfiyah

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ADear Lady Doomfiyah,

I'm not as new as some of the others, but I've only been writing for a few months so I figure I count. If not, feel free to disregard my answer and go straight to theirs.

(In no particular order)

French fries are actually Belgian.
You, Board readers that you are, are better than you think you are. So many of these questions have to do with your sense of your shortcoming. You are wonderful people who try awful hard. You're intelligent. You care about being tactful. You're curious. You're proactive. Don't be so hard on yourselves.
Go eat at El Salvador's on Center Street. It's so good and so cheap.
Don't use phrases like "that's so gay," "stop being a homo," etc. Be ye therefore an example of the believers.
The application process for the 100 Hour Board is the coolest thing ever. Seriously.

-Ineffable

ADear Lady Doomfiyah,

I have never dreamed about telling the Board readers anything; my dreams tend to focus around alien invasions and things I would rather not talk about.

But, I will give it a go:

Don't worry about what other people expect of you - worry about what is most important for yourself.
Waiting for a missionary is not the worst thing a girl (or boy) can do!
Young men often say insulting things completely on accident. If you don't tell them, in a nice sweet voice, they will never know any better.
Young women often ask about things that are none of their business. It is o-k to tell them they are prying.
When you see a statue of the Buddha, you may wonder, "Why are his earlobes so long?" The answer is, before he went onto his search for Enlightenment, he was a wealthy prince. At that time, wealthy princes wore big earrings, which would stretch out their earlobes. The Buddha left his old lifestyle, and as a part of that, got rid of the earrings. However, the stretched lobes remained a part of him.
Don't let religion get between you and your family; most religions focus on love (not necessarily romantic, of course); so should you.
Minesweeper has a strategy! I just learned this a couple weeks ago, so maybe that saved you some embarrassment.
Across the street from the Cinemark in Orem is an Italian restaurant called Terra Mia. It has great gelato. You definitely ought to eat it up.
Eat at least two meals every day! And girls, boys don't mind one bit how much you eat, as long as you are healthy.
Best Buy has great deals on movies, i.e., all three Jurassic Park movies for $12.99.

Clearly, the things on my mind are at once eclectic and connected. How's that for you?

Thanks for asking,

-Mico

ADear Lady Doomfiyah,

Let's see what has been on my mind recently...

Bread is not going to catch on fire (don't try this at home). It's just not going to.
Dry heat beats wringing your hair out when you go outside any day.
There is nothing wrong with being proud of your country.
People who don't like to date people from Utah because of the "Utah Mormon" stereotype are playing into that stereotype pretty well themselves. Just like anywhere else in the world, people from Utah have a wide variety of personalities and opinions. Not everyone fits into the cookie cutter we're placed into, and I think it is a shame that people from Utah are continually put into a certain category of people before anyone even gets to know them.
If you plant a palm tree in your apartment complex, they will find it, dig it up, and throw it away. You will then have to hold a funeral for Norbert, who lived a very short life.
Do your roommates a favor and help clean up around the apartment. As I type this, I would be incredibly embarrassed if the bishop were to walk in.
Don't judge people because they choose to live their lives differently than you do. Christ loves everyone, and so should we.
I will never understand people who refuse to take naps on-campus. They are the best idea anyone ever had...I think I get more sleep on-campus than off-campus during the semester.
For those of us at BYU: We are so blessed to be getting an amazing education at such a wonderful price. BYU is consistently highly ranked in various areas. We don't just have one strength. Take advantage of this great opportunity and get a world-class education for a fraction of the price.
I am wearing two different colors of socks today, because yesterday I wore each sock's match and was too lazy to try to find the right color. Yay for agency!
Don't let anyone, even your parents, pressure you into making a hasty decision about your future. Don't major in something just because your family wants you to. This is the rest of your life we're talking about here. On the flip side, be supportive of your friends, roommates, etc. when they make a major, life-changing decision, even if you don't think it is right for them. You can never truly know how much prayer, scripture study, and heartache went into making such a huge decision. Often, people have reasons for doing things that they don't, or can't, explain to other people.
Get out there and do something!!! Make a difference. Be a part of something bigger than yourself. Change the world.

Well, I guess you found my latest soap-boxes. This may have been a different list when you first asked the question, but what are we if not constantly changing?

Thanks for caring about our opinions,

⋯Anomalous

P.S. I just re-read the question and realized that you didn't ask for a huge bulleted list with a bunch of rants included. My bad.

ADear Ineffable:

Regarding french fries being Belgian in origin, that's actually debatable. Some believe they were invented in Spain in the 1500s, where potatoes were first brought to Europe, and it's highly possible that they migrated to Belgium from there. In fact, Belgium's claims to french fries come from historian Jo Gerard, who says the first documented instance of deep-fried potatoes was in 1680 in the province of Namur. Namur is currently in modern-day Belgium, but in 1680 it had actually been under Spanish rule for decades, and would continue to be until the early 1700s, when it became part of France. Belgium as a country didn't exist until the 1830s.

Love,
Waldorf and Sauron

ADear Lady Doomfiyah,

Hmm, I'm not sure I really have anything that I've been dreaming about for the past few years I've been reading the Board that I've wanted to share with readers. So, I guess I'll do what everyone else did and write a bunch of bullet points of things:

- I really like breakfast dinners. You know, eating waffles, etc. for breakfast. The first person I'm gonna look up in heaven is the guy who thought up that one. Thank you, sir.
- I like commas (and parenthetical statements).
- Most life problems can be put into proper perspective by remembering that if we're righteous, all things will work together for our good. To quote the Lord, "[We] are not yet as Job" (D&C 121:10). The Plan of Salvation is perfect; our perspective is often not.
- Yeah, parts of the Honor Code are ridiculous, but those of us at BYU agreed to them with our own signatures. Thus, those who find any excuse they can to fight against/complain about the HC annoy me quite a bit. Occasional venting about it is okay and is a natural reaction, but don't act like BYU pulled one over on you and it's all their fault because they're "removing your agency" or other equally fallacious statements.
- I dunno, I guess whatever else I say in future responses.

So there you have it. Also, your sibling dated my sibling. Dun dun dunnnnn!

-Commander Keen

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QDear 100 Hour Board

I'm thinking of becoming a nurse. However, I've already graduated from BYU with a degree in psychology. So what is the best way to go about becoming a nurse since I already have my bachelor's degree in something else? Should I get it from a junior college? I already have an AA in liberal arts, so I feel kind of weird going back to a JC after BYU. But is that the best way to do it? Would I be considered a nurse with a bachelors degree? But not someone with a bachelor's in nursing? Also, is it possible to get a mater's degree in nursing if you don't have a bachelors in it? Eventually, I do want to have a masters degree in something anyways. I'm confuzzled, please help! Thanks!

- Future RN

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ADear Future RN,

To avoid the slight weird feeling you may get from going back to a junior college, you have the option of applying to a Direct Entry MSN program. Here is a brief description of what that is:

Quote:

Direct entry MSN programs, sometimes called "graduate entry" or "master's entry" programs, are designed for non-nurses who hold bachelor's degrees in non-nursing fields. These programs give students credit for having completed their liberal arts requirements and allow them to complete an abbreviated schedule of undergraduate nursing coursework before moving directly into graduate nursing coursework—combining preparation for RN licensure with advanced training in a master's specialty area. Direct entry MSN programs typically require three years to complete, with the first year being devoted to entry-level nursing coursework and the last two years to master's-level study.

A variation of the Direct Entry MSN is the Accelerated MSN. Although the terms "Direct Entry MSN" and "Accelerated MSN" are sometimes used interchangeably, some Accelerated MSN programs may be completed in two academic years, rather than three. A 3.0 GPA is often an entrance requirement for both Direct Entry and Accelerated MSN programs. (From allnursingschools.com)

This list has schools that offer Direct Entry MSN programs. This is the best way to get your Master's Degree. If you want to be considered a nurse with your Bachelor's Degree, then you would have to go to a technical school and get your nursing certification. Having just a Bachelor's Degree will not be enough. Yet, going on to get a Master's Degree is totally plausible, plus it fulfills your want of having one in the future.

As an aside, there is nothing terribly weird about going to a junior college after BYU, or any other university. People go there for a different reasons, and you would certainly not be the first to do so. The Master's Degree is probably better for your situation, though, anyway.

-Mico

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

So I'm dating someone after 20+ years of being single.

Is it normal to be terrified at the start of a brand new relationship?

-Shakin' bacon

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ASB-

Yes.

- Cuddlefish

ADear Bacon,

Yes, so normal.

If you start to get comfortable, that may mean it is a good relationship.

-Mico

ADear Shakin'

Yuppers.

-Humble Master

ADear Shakin',

Heck, for a lot of people it's normal to be terrified through the entire relationship. It often depends on the person more than the quality of the relationship. For example, many of my married friends and family members report being utterly terrified at various points throughout their engagements. If you're otherwise confident that the relationship is good and healthy, fear is often just a sign that you're treating your important life choices with the care and attention they deserve.

~Hermia

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ADear Umberto-

There's no one authoritative source or list for your question, but there are some general overtures we can make.

For starters, I'm not entirely sure what you're asking. Do you mean A)which countries have the most biodiversity within a given area? or B)which countries have the highest numbers of different ecosystem types? I think we're going to go with A, but if you mean B, I might put in a bid for the United States. Temperate, desert, humid subtropical, tropical (Hawaii), tundra (Alaska), and more! We live in a country that really runs the gamut, climatically and ecologically.

As for A, there's still some debate possible, but here are some contenders:
-The Coral Triangle/Isla Verde Passage: These aren't quite the same region, but the Isla Verde Passage (as well as most of the Philippines) is contained within the Coral Triangle. If marine environments count, this is probably your winner. These sites both call this area the most diverse ecosystem in the world, and say that "the triangle is home to more than half the world’s coral reefs, three-quarters of its coral species and key stocks of fish that help feed the world." The Isla Verde Passage belongs to the Philippines, and the Coral Triangle includes Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, East Timor, Papua New Guinea and the Solomon Islands.

-The Amazon: If we're restricted to land-based ecosystems, I'd probably say the Amazon. This website (a case study presented at SUNY Buffalo) claims the Amazon basin as the most ecologically diverse region on earth, and with good reason. Facts quoted on Wikipedia include such statements as "More than one third of all species in the world live in the Amazon Rainforest," with many thousand species of trees in the forest and fish in the river. The largest section of the Amazon basin is in Brazil, with portions in Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Venezuela, Guyana, Suriname, and French Guiana.

For other interesting areas (there are several ways to measure biodiversity, and a lot of varying estimates), you can check out Biodiversity Hotspots, which seems to focus mostly on numbers of unique species but has some interesting insight.

-Foreman

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I have heard about $5 bikes in Provo through the Police department? Is this real?

-Burtney

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ADear Burtney,

According to Godwin's Paralegal's answer to Board Question #51069 which posted at the end of this March, the BYU Police now donate the impounded bikes to a charity instead of selling them.

- The Black Sheep

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Is there a class in BYU that teaches about how stocks and the stock market works?

- Curious P

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ADear Curious P,

Yes, there are quite a few. Unfortunately, the most directly applicable classes are major-only: BUS M 410-Investments, BUS M 411-Advanced Investments, and BUS M 415R-Portfolio Management. However, there is also BUS M 200-Personal Finance, which is open enrollment as well as SFL 260-Family Finance. They may only spend a brief time on stocks and bonds, but they will give you a good grasp on how the average joe should go about investing, and a rudimentary knowledge of what makes the market tick. Plus, Family Finance was one of the best classes I've taken at BYU so far (take Dr. Israelsen).

-Ineffable

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Why do we call our self "the world's richest nation" if we have such a huge deficit and many other countries have a surplus?

- Confused

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ADear Confused,

Well, first of all, our GDP is the largest in the world, but I used to wonder the same thing when I was younger and I looked at lists of countries ranked by GDP per capita, which is basically all of a nation's wealth divided by its population. According to this figure, we don't even make the top ten nations of the world. In 2008, the International Monetary Fund, the World Bank, and the CIA World Factbook ranked the U.S. between twelfth and seventeenth in the world with a GDP per capita of around US$46,800. This puts us below such European nations as Luxembourg, Switzerland, and Sweden and such Middle Eastern Nations as Qatar and (according to one list) Kuwait. Of course, such lists are biased towards nations with smaller populations, and the U.S., the world's third most populous country, ranks higher than any nation in the top fifty most populous. In fact, the only nations in the top hundred most populous to outrank the U.S.'s GDP per capita on any of the lists are Australia (53rd most populous), the Netherlands (61st), Belgium (76th), Sweden (88th), Austria (92nd), and Switzerland (94th).

I think the fact that some people sometimes call us the richest nation in the world has more to do with our consumption of resources. The population of the U.S. is roughly 4.5% of the world's population. China's population is about four and one third times greater than ours and is almost 20% of the world's population, and India's is well over three and three quarter times greater than ours and 17% of the world's population. Then consider the way we tear through such resources as electricity (we consume 23%, China consumes 19%), natural gas (we consume 22%), oil (we consume 24%, China consumes 9%, India consumes 3%), and coal (China consumes 39%, we consume 16%). People in our country use so much of the planet's resources that it's more than a little astounding and (forgive me) disturbing at times.

Then, of course, there's what the CIA has to say about it, taken from the World Factbook.

Quote:

The US has the largest and most technologically powerful economy in the world, with a per capita GDP of $48,000. In this market-oriented economy, private individuals and business firms make most of the decisions, and the federal and state governments buy needed goods and services predominantly in the private marketplace. US business firms enjoy greater flexibility than their counterparts in Western Europe and Japan in decisions to expand capital plant, to lay off surplus workers, and to develop new products. At the same time, they face higher barriers to enter their rivals' home markets than foreign firms face entering US markets. US firms are at or near the forefront in technological advances, especially in computers and in medical, aerospace, and military equipment; their advantage has narrowed since the end of World War II. The onrush of technology largely explains the gradual development of a "two-tier labor market" in which those at the bottom lack the education and the professional/technical skills of those at the top and, more and more, fail to get comparable pay raises, health insurance coverage, and other benefits. Since 1975, practically all the gains in household income have gone to the top 20% of households. The war in March-April 2003 between a US-led coalition and Iraq, and the subsequent occupation of Iraq, required major shifts in national resources to the military. Hurricane Katrina caused extensive damage in the Gulf Coast region in August 2005, but had a small impact on overall GDP growth for the year. Soaring oil prices between 2005 and the first half of 2008 threatened inflation and unemployment, as higher gasoline prices ate into consumers' budgets. Imported oil accounts for about two-thirds of US consumption. Long-term problems include inadequate investment in economic infrastructure, rapidly rising medical and pension costs of an aging population, sizable trade and budget deficits, and stagnation of family income in the lower economic groups. The merchandise trade deficit reached a record $847 billion in 2007, but declined to $810 billion in 2008, as a depreciating exchange rate for the dollar against most major currencies discouraged US imports and made US exports more competitive abroad. The global economic downturn, the sub-prime mortgage crisis, investment bank failures, falling home prices, and tight credit pushed the United States into a recession by mid-2008. To help stabilize financial markets, the US Congress established a $700 billion Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) in October 2008. The government used some of these funds to purchase equity in US banks and other industrial corporations. In January 2009 the US Congress passed and President Barack OBAMA signed a bill providing an additional $787 billion fiscal stimulus - two-thirds on additional spending and one-third on tax cuts - to create jobs and to help the economy recover.

And here are some more fun lists: here, here, and here.

- The Black Sheep

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I am having trouble understanding my scripture study. In Doctrine and Covenants section 89 verses 12 and 13 it says:
12 Yea, flesh also of beasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used sparingly;
13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be used, only in times of winter, or of cold, or famine.

To me, that sounds like we all should be vegetarians--so I cross referenced the footnotes which brought me to Doctrine and Covenants section 49 verse 19:

18 And whoso forbiddeth to abstain from meats, that man should not eat the same, is not ordained of God;
19 For, behold, the beasts of the field and the fowls of the air, and that which cometh of the earth, is ordained for the use of man for food and for
raiment, and that he might have in abundance.

That sounds like it is implying being a vegetarian is not ordained of God. I'm confused!

-Secret Identity Number One

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ADear SINO,

President Boyd K. Packer has used the very scriptures you quoted as an example of staying away from extremes; see Board Question #46936.

My take on those, then, would be that (a) we are not to eat excessive amounts of meat (which is bad), but that (b) proclaiming we should eat none at all is also bad. (Interestingly, "commanding to abstain from meats" is also listed by Paul as an example of departing from the faith in 1 Timothy 4:1-5.)

—Laser Jock

ADear Secret Identity Number One,

My dad calls the verse you quote from the Doctrine and Covenants the "magical comma" verse. In verse 13, if you have the first comma, it sounds like we shouldn't be eating meat. If you don't have the first comma, voila! Don't not eat it. We know that the scriptures are constantly being edited for grammar, and, well, I just do not have a testimony of all of those punctuation marks.

My advice is the same as Laser Jock's: avoid extremes. You're not going to miss out on eternal salvation by choosing a way that no one told you explicitly to avoid.

- The Black Sheep

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Any suggestions for a great, everyday cologne for men? You know, something that smells casual that I can wear to school everyday.

- Calvin

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ACalvin-

Old Spice OS is amazing. Also, there's a good Gucci scent in a small square black bottle that smells lovely. If you go to a cologne shop or to the cologne counter at any department store, they'll let you smell any cologne you'd like. Bring a girl so she can tell you which one smells sexiest on you.

- Cuddlefish

ADear Hobbes' mate,

My consultant says to avoid Aqua Di Gio, unless you want to smell like every girl's ex-boyfriend.

-obstreperous

ADear Calvin,

I like a lot of the Lacoste or Gap colognes. I think they do a pretty decent job of being subtle. That's the main thing you're looking for. You want the way you smell to be something people notice when you give someone a hug or when you hold the door open for someone (holy cow is that a good combination). So don't give away all your olfactory secrets by going with something like Abercrombie colognes or, heaven forbid, Tag, which you can smell not only down the hall but in adjacent apartments (I could perhaps have this impression of Ambercrombie colognes because I've only smelled it an Abercrombie store which, literally, pumped the stuff through its ventilation, but Tag I'm not qualifying. That stuff smells like sleazy commercials).

I don't know if you've already considered this to be too ineffective, but a good-smelling deodorant also goes a long way. Men's deodorants are high-powered stuff--I've commented on how a guy smells on many occasions only to be told that he isn't wearing anything. At the very least it's cheaper than cologne.

-Ineffable

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Why do BYU music students pay a class fee of $380 per semester to take private music lessons? It seems to me like the job of a viola professor is to teach viola lessons, and the university is already paying these professors to do this, right? I can understand non-music majors having to pay, but why is there a fee even for majors? Where exactly is this money going? Is it actually payment for the professors? Also, some instrumental lessons for non-music majors are taught by grad students, but the fee is the same. Help please? I don't understand. What is it that am I paying for?

- slightly disgruntled... but will get over it.

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Adisgruntled-

You're probably getting a pretty good deal. According to this site, music lessons run $25-40 for a half-hour session, $35-50 for a 45-minute session, and $50-60 for an hour-long session.

Anyway, what I gather is that that fee is payment to the teacher for the lessons. My contact in the music department says that it pays for twelve $31.60-lessons that, for you (because you are a non-major), last a half-hour. Majors get 45-minute lessons for the same price.

Hope that helps,

- Cuddlefish

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I had a discussion with my roommates once about memory, and the ways that individuals remember things. If someone says, "remember when x happened" how do you remember it? Do you see a mental movie of x happening again? Or pictures? Or just remember how you felt when x took place?

-remembers mostly in pictures

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ARemember-

I remember generally by seeing a mental movie of what happened.

- Cuddlefish

ADear remembers,

To me it seems like a movie, but if we were ever to put it on a video screen, it would look like a jerky bunch of 2-second bites. Phrases.

-Whistler

ADear remembers mostly in pictures,

Many of my memories are tied really strongly to emotions. The emotion comes first and the picture comes second, like, "I felt really _______ when this happened, and then I felt really _______ when this happened."

- The Black Sheep

ADear,

I think of life mainly in stories. Specific descriptions will maybe bring up a flash of a picture, but they don't stay for long. For example, if I think of my dad laughing really hard, I get a momentary image of bits of it--the crease lines folding up around his eyes, a flash of a gold tooth in the back of his mouth. And then it's gone.

I can recognize people, but I can't call their faces to mind. Not my friends, not my family (except for little pieces, like I explained), not even my own. Looking in the mirror is sometimes surprising.

-Uffish Thought

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

How would one go about finding a book club to join?

Nay, Contrary (I won't always be in Provo.)

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ANay, Contrary-

1. Talk to your friends and family. They may know of a couple of good ones, or they may know of people who would know good ones.

2. Start one.

3. Use a website like this to track one down.

- Cuddlefish

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

While watching TV I recalled that commercial from several years back about this yellow, polka-dot bikini (here it is: http://www.splendad.com/ads/sh...). At the end of the commercial it shows the girl getting into a car and tucking the bikini strap under her shirt. From this I gathered that she was wearing the bikini as underwear. Is this a common practice (at least among non-members - I assume that on average LDS girls own fewer bikinis than non-members)?

Nay, Contrary (I'm not a girl.)

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ANay-

Oftentimes, for convenience when going to the pool or the beach, I will change into my swimsuit before leaving the house, and just wear clothes over it. It saves me from having to get naked around a bunch of strangers. I think it's pretty common among members and non-members alike.

- Cuddlefish

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I am looking to pick up a one credit class this upcoming semester to get my necessary number of credits. I was wondering if you know of a 1 credit class where you don't have to attend class regularly and can do all the work at home?
Thank you

- Brett

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ADear Brett,

ANTRHO 108R Ethnographic or Archaeological Films
NDFS 191 Intro to Food Sciences
NDFS 290 Intro to Dietetics
PWS 115 Wildlife & Wild-land Conservation
REL C 293R Various Genealogy Classes

Like any class, you ought to attend whatever you choose, to make sure you understand what you need to do for yourself. Furthermore, different teachers have different methods, so it is important to see a syllabus to know what the class requires.

-Mico

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

How does one gain access to the Ancient Studies room on the fifth floor of the library?

- Always wanted to be a part of a secret club...

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ADear Always,

First off, similar to how Special Collections is run, you'll need a reliable reason for wanting to explore the Ancient Studies room. For example, a reliable reason might be if you're taking a class, particularly Ancient Greek or Latin, and doing research for it that would require you to view old texts. Next, once you've devised your excuse, then go and talk to one of the librarians on the fifth floor (or track down Robert Maxwell if possible), and express your desire to see the Ancient Studies room. If they deem you worthy enough, they might just let you in, or even give you the access code to it.

A good friend of mine graduated in Classical Studies. Once he started to reach the more advanced levels in his major and was required to use the texts in the Ancient Studies room very frequently, he was given the access code to it at the start of each semester. He said that apparently they change the code fairly frequently, but I'm not sure if that still holds true as he did graduate a few years ago.

It is a beautiful room though and the books are very old, which is why it's not just open for anyone to go in there and handle them. Good luck in your quest.

-Sky Bones

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

So. Background: The Wellness requirement is now gone. Poof. Really nice, except for the fact that because, for once in my life, I did not procrastinate, and I took HEPE my freshman year to get it over and done with. I did not enjoy it, considered it a waste of my time, and although I did not procrastinate in taking the class, I certainly procrastinated and lazed about it in, making my grade what I deserve, but not one I'd like to have on my transcript.

Now the question: Since I only took HEPE because it was required of me, and now it is no longer required to have it on my transcript to graduate, is there anyway I can delete HEPE and my grade in it from my transcript/GPA/records?

-Slightly frustrated that they didn't drop the requirement BEFORE I took the class. :)

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ADear Frustrated,

No. You took it, it stays on your record. You can retake it if you'd like a better grade.

Love,
Waldorf and Sauron

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

Yesterday I got my hair cut and my stylist told me that her mom was getting married that weekend, down on the Maine coast. I asked if her family was from that part of the state, and she said "no," but it's pretty down there and that town is where her mom met her fiancé, so it has special meaning for them. So then we started joking about what if you had to get married where you met your S.O. (My stylist would have been married at her beauty school.)

All of which brings me to my question: If you had to get married (or, being Mormon, have your reception) where you met your spouse, where would that have been? (Humor me and try to plan it out, a little.) Oh, and if you're not married, you can answer for your parents or another relative or a friend. (I always got kind of annoyed at the questions that were for married board writers only, as if single Mormons aren't already discriminated against enough as it is. ;) )

- Katya

P.S. Does this mean that CPM would have married his lady-love at Dragon Lady's old apartment? (I have visions of the bride coming up through the trap door to the basement.)

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ADear Katya,

That means our reception would have been in the conference room at the La Quinta (it is now a different hotel) by Helaman Halls. The refreshments? A continental breakfast, I suppose. And we might as well go swimming while we're there.

Met at Y Weekend,
Waldorf and Sauron

ADear Katya,

The parking lot of an apartment complex in East Lansing, MI.

Epically romantic.

-Humble Master

ADear Katya,

Husband and I met in the good old Richards Building on campus, where our ward met for church. I'm ashamed to admit however, that it took me a few more FHE's before I finally nailed his name. Obviously we didn't get married there, but ironically that is where he proposed to me. It wouldn't be nearly as exciting to hold a reception there however, so I'll imagine that we did get married there.

As I happen to love swimming, I definitely would have used one of the lanes of the RB pools as the aisle (promise I didn't steal your idea, Waldorf and Sauron). I can just picture it, all decked out with flowers and floating candles and the lights romantically dimmed. There are even benches on the second floor surrounding the pools already for all guests (a no-splash zone, of course). I'd walk up to the side, in my puffy dress and everything, dive right in and swim to the end where he would have been waiting for me. Of course, then he'd have to somehow manage to pull me out of the water. After the ceremony, you have to go back the way you came, right? And why not push in the people who were brave enough to opt for floor seats.

Ah, yes, it would be so beautiful.

-Sky Bones

AKatya-

I guess I would have had my reception in my friend's living room, which would have been fine. She has a big house that's suitable for large parties. Really, it wouldn't have been all that different from the reception I really did have.

Mine's just not that interesting.

- Cuddlefish

ADear Patron Saint of the Board,

You are indeed correct that we would have been married or held our reception at the house formerly inhabited by both The Heartless Siren and Dragon Lady. The Heartless Siren and I would have entered from the Board Lair while poor quality chairs fell apart from under our guests. Pie would have been served in honor of the pie that brought us together in that very location. Knowing the tradition of many-a-Board-party held at that house, there probably would have been Guitar Hero or Super Smash Brothers being played. Oh wait, we actually did play Guitar Hero and Super Smash Brothers at one of our receptions, so that part was real.

As the evening wound down we would bid our farewell and descend back to the Board Lair to be honored by the Tunnel Worms. After the requisite pleasantries we would have been carried off by the head Tunnel Worm to the hotel to begin our honeymoon.

-Curious Physics Minor

ADear Katya,

Dragon Lady's old apartment seems to be a happening place; that's where our reception would be too. I'm not sure it'd make the greatest reception center ever, though, since I've personally witnessed chairs catastrophically decomposing beneath unsuspecting occupants. Further, half of the couch no longer has any back support to speak of. Or, at least, it didn't when I was last there earlier this year.

We'd have to use the trap door, of course, but it's not exactly visitor friendly. Perhaps we could bring the cake up from there when it was time?

-Yellow

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QDear 100 Hour Board,

I came across this link today: http://www.elitedonors.com/...
I am not considering, just curious.
What do you think about this personally? How about from a gospel perspective?

-Donor

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ADear Donor,

I think the Church's stance on surrogate parenthood and egg or sperm donation (they're against it) is a good one. See Board Question #3758 and Board Question #43824.

—Laser Jock

ADear Donor,

Personally, I have mixed feelings about this. My first reaction was, "holy crap I qualify and $75,000 is a lot of money for one little egg I'm not going to use anyway." It would let sterile women or women who have genetic disorders have children without worrying about passing those on to the rest of the human race (and my genes would get perpetuated for free!). There's nothing wrong with that, and I wouldn't have to worry about tuition for ages!

On the other hand, would I have some responsibility to a child that comes from my genetic material? How would I explain that to my other children ("Oh, you do have a kind of half-sister...you see, I really needed several thousand dollars, so I decided to sell an egg")? What if a gay couple wanted to use my egg to have a child, how would I feel about that? Also, the process of donating eggs requires taking more than one egg, in case the first doesn't work. I might not miss a month of reproductivity, but I might miss 6 months (what if I don't get married until I'm 40 and I want to have kids then?). And what about all those orphans looking for homes?

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Upon further contemplation, I doubt that I would be the best candidate for egg donation. Crooked teeth, adolescent acne, and childhood ear infections strike me as undesirable and genetically influenced factors that I possess. There's probably some other woman out there who is just as smart as I am without those drawbacks. And if you're buying the best genes, why would you settle for anything less than optimal?

-Whistler