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| What is the mist by the MARB? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Recently I was walking between the Eyring Science Center and the MARB. I felt a slight mist that I assumed came from that big cylindrical basin that makes waterfall sounds. I've heard rumors there is a river underneath. What's with the mist?
- A River runs Through it | | A: | Dear River,
I can tell you right off that it's absolutely not a river. Speculation alternates between air-conditioning condensers and a cooling tower for the miniature nuclear reactor in the underground laboratory. I vote for the cooling tower.
-The Speculatrix
Dear River,
That is the main cooling tower for the experimental fusion reactor in the subbasement of the ESC. Water from the secondary cooling circuit flows down the walls. When the reactor is running at full power (during tests, etc.), it tends to steam up quite a bit.
-Physicist guy | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have some comments and questions about one of the answers to the question "What is the mist by the MARB?" in your FAQs. One of the answers is as follows:
"Dear River, That is the main cooling tower for the experimental fusion reactor in the subbasement of the ESC. Water from the secondary cooling circuit flows down the walls. When the reactor is running at full power (during tests, etc.), it tends to steam up quite a bit. -Physicist guy"
I didn't know we were so far along with fusion experimentation that we now have fusion reactors and right here at BYU! Somehow I don't believe it. Is this answer a mistake on the part of Physicist guy? Was he just trying to be funny? Is there really some type of fission reactor at BYU? Either way it is not made very clear and in my humble opinion neither of the two answers given seem definitive or plausible enough to be worthy of being in the FAQs. So I guess my last question would be what is the mist by the MARB?
-ME | | R: | Dear ME,
The Physicist Guy was being funny, and did a very good job at it. In actuality the mist by the MARB is the condensation from the air conditioning units for the ESC.
-Phoenix | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Recently I was walking between the Eyring Science Center and the MARB. I felt a slight mist that I assumed came from that big cylindrical basin that makes waterfall sounds. I've heard rumors there is a river underneath. What's with the mist?
- A River runs Through it | | R: | Dear Water-boy,
I can tell you right off that it's absolutely not a river. Speculation alternates between air-conditioning condensers and a cooling tower for the miniature nuclear reactor in the underground laboratory. I vote for the cooling tower.
-The Speculatrix
| | Q: | Please don't post this:
I've got an interesting situation that I'm not even sure how to explain. My then closest friend and I roomed together this past year...and it was a bad decision. It seemed like we were constantly offending each other and failing to meet each other's expectations...it was sometimes like being a weird marriage situation, but more frustrating because I never took any vows! Anyway, we are both still in Provo for the summer, but in different apartments. We've had some difficulties communicating, and lately there were a couple things that especially irked me. I told her about them and explained myself and she said she understood, and I told her I needed some distance...but I haven't as yet felt the need to bridge that distance. I feel like I've got nothing to talk to her about and can't remember why we even used to be friends. I realize I'm probably the one with the bigger problem here, but I just wondered if possibly we'd just grown apart--we're headed in very different directions, and we're at different times in our lives. We are also competitive in the same main areas, so I think that's mostly what limits the conversation--it's hard for one person to say something without the other getting hurt. Why don't I miss her? I feel the need to call and make up not because I want to hang out with her, but because of guilt and duty. What should I do?
- Don't want to be a friend-killer | | R: | Dear Don't want to be a friend-killer,
You know what? Sometimes friendships just die. If you guys are constantly at each other's throats and offending each other and if you can't remember why you want to be her friend...why are you trying so hard? It seems like you're just perpetuating your own frustration by forcing yourself to feel guilty about this. I think you should just take a deep breath, and move on. Keep living your life. If you feel so inclined, drop her an e-mail every now and again. If you see her on-campus or around town, say hello, be nice, and then move on again back to your life. If she invites you to do something, go ahead and do it, or go ahead and tell her you don't want to, if that's the case. Either way, you're not required to make friendships work...you're not technically required to make any relationships work, though you're much more strongly encouraged to work harder at marriage. Since this is not a marriage, the situation is much less difficult to deal with. Don't be bitter, and don't think too much about how guilty you should be feeling. It's ok to accept that it's time to let a friendship RIP.
Good luck,
-Novel Concept | | R: | Dear Don't want,
Lately I've had too many experiences like this; the last one was a few months ago, actually. I've learned that pain can be very real and sometimes it takes awhile to let it go.
You know, sometimes friendship just die, as Novel said. If they don't die, they just need to be put on hold for awhile. If you were going to try and stay friends with every friend you felt guilt about, you've be feeling a lot of guilt. As Novel said, if you see her around and you want to do something, great. But don't feel obligated. I've learned in the past that feeling obligated to too many people and/or things just kills you. If she wants to be friends with you, she will make some sort of effort. Don't spend your time participating in a one-way friendship, if this is what you think it might become.
Overall, just be yourself! If you feel like you need to do something, just send her a friendly email. I do that on occasion. There is nothing wrong with that. It lets them know that you care, but reminds you that you aren't obligated to spend time with them 24/7.
Time will heal all things, friend. Hang in there.
-Zantedeschia | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I\'ve been a loyal reader for a year now and someone has probably asked this question already, but if they did I somehow missed it. Outside the MARB there is a big, scary-looking thing that looks like a stone vat and steams in the morning. Is this used for cooking people in?
-Hungrily awaiting your answer, Spork the Great | | R: | Dear Spork,
That is the main cooling tower for the experimental fusion reactor in the subbasement of the ESC. Water from the secondary cooling circuit flows down the walls. When the reactor is running at full power (during tests, etc.), it tends to steam up quite a bit.
-Physicist guy | | R: | Dear Spork,
Well, it's only used for cooking around the beginning of October, so we can get our Polyjuice Potions ready. But that does require a piece of some other human being. I suggest you get out your spork (it has four prongs on one end and a spoon-ish dished end on the other) and eat up!
-Mmmmmm... | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Lately when I have been walking up to campus I have noticed some white smoke stuff coming out of some pipes on the southeast corner of the Science Center. What is that and what is it for? Why is that the only building that has the white smoke stuff coming out of it???
- Curious Student | | R: | Dear Curious ~
Over to the left side of your screen is a link called "Frequently Asked Questions." Why don't you go click on that. Then click on the very top FAQ entitled "What is the mist by the MARB?" There, my friend, you will find your answer.
While you're at it, please go ahead and read through those questions and answers. You'll probably learn a lot.
~ Dragon Lady | | R: | Dear Curious,
Also make sure to click on the link "Show/Hide Related Questions" when you're looking at that FAQ; the answers clarify the main one that's listed. (Namely no, it's not from a nuclear reactor; that answer was meant as a joke.)
—Laser Jock |
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| Should we watch R-rated movies? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
So everyone says we shouldn't watch rated R movies, and I agree. But I cannot find any definitive statements concerning this from General Authorities. Does any such statement exist?
- skippy the club | | A: | Dear clubber,
question 312
question 1125
question 3559
question 3586
question 3651
question 3633
question 3702
question 3711
question 3714
question 3829
question 3886
question 3940
question 4470
question 7449
These are just a few of the numerous questions and comments about the whole rated R thing and the MPAA. If anyone brings this up again, or if they let :::Latro::: see anything about it, they will be flogged, by order of The One.
-cubic nerd
Dear clubber:
this article leans heavily towards the "pro-R" side, but page 4 has the only thorough compilation of statements by General Authorities that I've ever seen.
-- Misaneroth
Dear Clubber,
I am sure one of those links above will have :::Latro:::'s reference to Orson Scott Card's article on the matter, but I am going to throw the link out again because the article is just awesome. click here for the article.
-CGNU Grad
| | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
So everyone says we shouldn't watch rated R movies, and I agree. But I cannot find any definitive statements concerning this from General Authorities. Does any such statement exist?
- skippy the club | | R: | Dear clubber,
<^312>
<^1125>
<^3559>
<^3586>
<^3651>
<^3633>
<^3702>
<^3711>
<^3714>
<^3829>
<^3886>
<^3940>
<^4470>
<^7449>
These are just a few of the numerous questions and comments about the whole rated R thing and the MPAA. If anyone brings this up again, or if they let :::Latro::: see anything about it, they will be flogged, by order of The One.
-cubic nerd
| | R: | Dear clubber:
http://www.sunstoneonline.com/magazine/issues/126/16-22_a_hatch_movie%20ratings.pdf
The article itself leans heavily towards the "pro-R" side, but page 4 has the only thorough compilation of statements by General Authorities that I've ever seen.
-- Misaneroth | | R: | Dear Clubber,
I am sure one of those links above will have :::Latro:::'s reference to Orson Scott Card's article on the matter, but I am going to throw the link out again because the article is just awesome. http://www.nauvoo.com/library/card-r-rated-movie.html
-CGNU Grad | | R: | Dear skippy the club,
I've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear. I'm not a general authority, but I am omniscient. And ridiculously good-looking.
<^3702>
::: Latro ::: | | R: | Dear Skippy the Club,
I don't know about omniscient but he is incredibly good-looking.
-Skippy DeLorean (the person) | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
In response to exasperated's shpeel on april 5th, Horatio responded and I have a question about his response. He said "The Lord has seen fit to not command in all things, and people continue to interpret that in different ways. It is the same case with Rated R movies. They are NOT forbidden by any law."
Now, I'm not trying to cause an argument because I could not care less what movies other people watch; however, I was under the impression that in the 80's the presidency of the church did say not to watch R-rated films. In the five minutes I had to search I only found this quote by Keith W. Merrill "What we want to avoid in movies-as in everything else-is the vulgar, the obscene, and the violent; R and X ratings used to be a convenient way of identifying these elements. But today we must take unusual pains to scrutinize movies with PG ratings, as well." I know the For Strength of Youth pamphlet says "Don't attend or participate in any form of entertainment ... that is vulgar, immoral, inappropriate, suggestive, or pornographic in any way." So, I was wondering if I just imagined the prophets telling us not to see R-rated films, or if they actually specified against R-rated films?
Hope you will be able to better answer my question. Thanks
-Brown Eyed Girl | | R: | Dear Brown Eyed Girl,
I was going to refer you to the FAQs, where we have at least 15 questions addressing this topic. However, I forgot the archives are down for the moment.
Glad to see you went the extra mile for your own answer (<^14338>).
:) Duchess | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I actually found the answer to my question about R-rated movies but thought i would post it in case any one else had the same question.
Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p.222
We counsel you, young men, not to pollute your minds with such degrading
matter, for the mind through which this filth passes is never the same
afterwards. Don't see R-rated movies or vulgar videos or participate in any
entertainment that is immoral, suggestive, or pornographic. Don't listen to
music that is degrading. (CR April 1986, Ensign 16 [May 1986]: 45.)
Harold B. Lee, Conference Report, October 1970, p.111
Pornographic literature! It has been a shock, I am sure, to all of us to
read the report of the commission that has been studying obscenity reports,
and the recommendation that there should be a repeal of all laws prohibiting
the distribution of explicit, sexual materials to consenting adults.
Shocking! Now brethren, this is a thing that we must, as a priesthood, take
a firm stand against, and do everything within our communities to see to it
that by every means within our power we are going to play down the showing
of or the distribution of any kind of pornographic literature, films, or
advertisements. It has been a delight to us to have our Deseret News
announce that, shortly, there will be no advertising of "R" and "X" rated
films. We would wish it would be so in every community. If you brethren, in
all of your communities, would now take a firm stand, I think there would be
a time shortly when somebody would wake up to the fact that we are no longer
going to tolerate these kinds of things that are placed before our people to
tear down their morals.
Church News, October 14, 1972, p.14
Elder Hartman Rector applied the principle of making personal commandments
to single adults. "It is so important that young people, who are unmarried,
erect barriers against temptation to help them avoid the compromising
situations. May I suggest:
1. Never go into a house alone with one of the opposite sex. 2. Never, never
enter a bedroom alone with your companion. 3. Do not neck or pet. 4. Never
park on a lonely road with just the two of you alone. 5. Do not read
pornographic literature. 6. Do not attend R or X-rated movies. 7. Do not
spend time in drinking or gambling establishments.
President Ezra Taft Benson
Church News, April 13, 1986, p.14
"The mind through which this filth passes is never the same afterward. Don't
see R-rated movies or vulgar videos or participate in any entertainment that
is immoral, suggestive or pornographic. Don't listen to music that is
degrading."
Church News, October 12, 1986, p.15
"Not unlike Cannon Neslen, who accidentally fell into a crevasse, some of
your friends-and perhaps even some of you-have slipped into spiritual
crevasses," Elder David B. Haight said. "Spiritual crevasses symbolize the
temptations and pitfalls that too many of our youth are tragically
encountering: alcohol (wine coolers, keg parties), drug tampering and
dependency, pornography, R- and X-rated films and videos which often
culminate in sexual immorality. On the edge of those ominous crevasses are
parents and others who, with fervent prayers, cry for help and assistance."
Church News, October 9, 1993, p.16
He (Presiding Bishop H. Burke Peterson) counseled: "I know it is hard
counsel we give when we say that movies that are R-rated and many with PG-13
ratings are produced by satanic influences. Our standards should not be
dictated by the rating system."
He warned that "too many men and boys who hold the priesthood of God
are watching and listening to this type of so-called entertainment." Many
may already be addicted to pornography and not even realize it, he
commented.
Hope this sets the record straight.
-Brown Eyed Girl
- Anonymous | | R: | Dear Anonymous and Brown Eyed Girl,
I must have missed your first questions (I was out of town and have been trying to catch up on all I missed).
May I point something out? The most recent citation you provide is 12 years old. That means that the deacons passing sacrament in your home ward had barely been born when that was said.
I am not saying that we should disregard what past church authorities have said. I quote Joseph Smith and Brigham Young enough to counter that idea. What I am saying is that while referencing past materials, you should also bear in mind the more recent counsel. The most recent quote you give references what seems to be the more current prevailing counsel on entertainment. "Our standards should not be dictated by the ratings system."
Too often, I think people cling to the "R rated movie doctrine" like they do to the face card doctrine. They desperately hold onto older counsel prohibiting a certain specific "thing" rather than allowing themselves to be guided by newer doctrine regarding the principles.
Again, I am not saying that people should flock to the next R rated movie that comes out. All I am saying is that we should be wary of letting an older "Thou Shalt Not Cross" line that really doesn't accurately restrict what it should trump the newer guiding counsel that we have been given.
Happy (good) movie watching!
-Pa Grape | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What is the LDS Church's official stand on R-rated moives? Is this a doctrinal policy or an opinion of specific church leaders? And what about members in countries that don't have the same rating system?
- Erasmus | | R: | Dear Erasmus,
Instead of hashing this again, I would recommend reading the FAQ and searching the archives for this one. There's plenty of information there to answer your questions and get you thinking.
-Scout | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I know someone that has been watching R-rated movies his whole life. He is LDS and just left on his mission. I know that he watched movies right before his mission and some of them where R-Rated. Does that disqualify you from going on a mission..
How could someone go on a mission knowing he was not worthy ?
- Then Mango | | R: | Then Mango,
No.
How could someone ask such an obviously biased and leading question?
"Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?"
Mote: A very small particle; a speck.
Please don't bring back the issue of the godless MPAA. Check the FAQs.
::: Latro ::: | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Lately I've noticed that alot of people around me will not even watch PG-13 movies let alone R-rated movies. I have a hard time with this because where I'm from, movies that are rated PG-13 are rated PG and movies that are rated R are given the ratings either 14A or 18A depending on the movie. So all these ratings really have me confused at what really defines an R-rated movie? Should I feel bad for seeing an R-rated movie because it's only rated 14A in my home theaters? What makes ratings so important anyways if there is so much discrepency between regions' ratings?
- One who has seen many "R-rated" movies, and yet none at all | | R: | Dear One who has seen many "R-rated" movies, and yet none at all,
I don't think you should worry about what the American movie rating has to say about the movies you watch. In most other countries, there's not a direct equivalent for the American "R" rating (and of course, different countries apply ratings differently anyway). The American system is rather arbitrary besides, as there are movies rated "PG" that have a lot more degrading content than some movies rated "R". Letting the Motion Picture Association of America decide what movies you should and shouldn't watch isn't the best idea.
So should you feel bad? I don't think so, unless those movies had a negative effect on you when you watched them. But this is just my opinion, as I'm sure others will disagree.
Quandary | | R: | Dear One,
Some people might disagree with Quandary, but I don't.
- Katya | | R: | Dear Paradoxical Sinner~
You're fine. I think this gets a lot into the difference between the spirit of the law and the letter of the law. If someone chooses not to watch PG-13 movies, more power to werf, says I. That seems like a great way to stay on the safe side of the line when screening what you take into your mind.
However, it is not church doctrine, and if they tell you you're somehow doing wrong by watching PG-13 movies, they are stepping outside of their boundaries and telling you things that do not have doctrinal backing.
For me personally, I agree that the rating system can be pretty arbitrary, but I just never watch R movies, and choose carefully when I watch PG-13 movies, because there's often things there that I don't want to take into my life.
Some people use a similar rationale to watch R-rated movies, which I think is a mistake, but hey, that's their business, I suppose.
Lord of the Rings and Star Wars -- what would life be without them?
~Hobbes | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
So there has been a lot of talk on the board about R rated movies. I love movies, and I just want to figure it out for myself as to what is appropriate. I want to know if watching R rated movies is against the Mormon way of life. I want to be a great Mormon, I agree with Elder Bednar's statement that whatever we watch that invites the Spirit to leave should no be entertainment for us.
However, I am not sure R rated movies fit that description. Here is what I know:
I know that at one point, the church OFFICIALLY said, "do not watch R rated movies.
I know that things change, and it has not been officially stated in quite some time.
I know that the movie ratings board are crazily uninspired. They also have changed a great deal over time (Sweet Charity, for example, is rated G...Hey Big Spender? Seriously. I would say Sweet Charity is on par with Chicago in the sexy dancing category).
I want to keep the commandments--all of them. As a metaphor for this dilemma, let me add that growing up, I believed it was against the Word of Wisdom to drink caffeinated soft drinks. I went on a mission and, as an official representative of the Church, taught that drinking Coca Cola was not against the word of wisdom. I now, knowing that it's not against the word of wisdom, still can't bring myself to drink a Coke myself, and that frustrates me because it is not rooted in any conviction except for tradition. I dont want to not watch R rated movies because of the traditions of my fathers.
To cap it off, I recently watched the CleanFlicks Little Miss Sunshine, and while I thoroughly enjoyed it, I didn't understand all of it because of scenes that were taken out, and when I did a little digging to find out more, I was SHOCKED that some of the stuff taken out was totally crucial to the plot. It was so frustrating!!!
Ok, this is long but so is the debate itself. I really want to know what the Church's stance on this is, because I will do it. But I want it to be out of my conviction in following the Church, not in following my past.
- In the Slumdogs of frustration | | R: | Dear Friend,
Don't you worry so much about it. No, there is no church statement forbidding us from watching restricted films. We're left to use our own discretion. And that's my advice to you: follow the Spirit.
If the Spirit tells you not to watch something, or not to watch R films in general, then by all means follow that prompting. And if you're not sure whether what you're feeling is the Spirit or adherence to tradition, well, then, err on the side of caution. As much as we're pro certain R movies, I gotta say it is still just as possible to live a full and happy life without watching a single one.
Good luck,
Waldorf and Sauron | | R: | Dear Friend,
I think Waldorf and Sauron are right on. I don't personally watch R-rated movies, but that's a mix of adherence to tradition and erring on the side of caution. It's easier for me to avoid the many inappropriate R films if I don't watch any, and categorically avoiding them has not yet impeded my life, so I keep doing it. At the same time, I don't think watching a worthwhile film that happens to be R is somehow dangerously evil. I think this is a case where D&C 58:26-28 applies.
~Ƥ. Ɗ. Kirĸe | | R: | Dear frustrated,
As you yourself pointed out, this has been discussed a whole lot on the Board. And in many of those responses, the Church's official stance was mentioned:Whatever you read, listen to, or look at has an effect on you. Therefore, choose only entertainment and media that uplift you. Good entertainment will help you to have good thoughts and make righteous choices. It will allow you to enjoy yourself without losing the Spirit of the Lord.
While much entertainment is good, some of it can lead you away from righteous living. Offensive material is often found in web sites, concerts, movies, music, videocassettes, DVDs, books, magazines, pictures, and other media. Satan uses such entertainment to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal and exciting. It can mislead you into thinking that everyone is doing things that are wrong.
Do not attend, view, or participate in entertainment that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in entertainment that in any way presents immorality or violent behavior as acceptable. ("Entertainment and the Media," For the Strength of Youth, p. 17; 2000) All other current statements that I'm aware of boil down to more or less the same thing as that quote from For the Strength of Youth. I commend you on searching for an answer to this yourself, but the answer you'll likely find will have less to do with ratings and more to do with content (which are not perfectly correlated).
—Laser Jock |
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| How do I join the Board? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How does one join the 100 Hour Board?
- Statistics CSRs | | A: | Dear Don't you have a computer to fix?
Ahem...if you don't know the answer to this question, then you haven't been reading the board for long enough to bother trying.
-CGNU Grad
Dear Statistics CSRs,
If you eat all your vegetables, don't ever kick dogs, be a nice boy, and always do what your mother tells you, one very special night, you might hear a strange noise on your roof. If you hear this noise, stay very still and pretend you are asleep. Wait until you hear someone come down your chimney. Then go out, carrying a plate of cookies. You'll see a large person, dressed in furs, holding a big black bag. The person will turn toward you and stuff you in the big black bag, then run to the getaway car parked out side. (Much easier than scaling back up the chimney.) You will notice there are, sadly, no presents in this sack. With you in the bag, the person will drive for miles and miles, until you are thoroughly lost. Then you will be dumped on a lonely hillside, miles from everywhere. The car will zoom away, and you will be left to find your way back, using only a pack of chewing gum and the ratty toothbrush that were mysteriously at the bottom of the sack. After fighting your way over treacherous peaks and hacking your way through steaming jungles to come back home, then you will be a man, my friend.*
Oh, wait--how do you join the Board? Uh, search the archives.
--Ambrosia
*Obviously, this story can only come true if you 1--are a boy, and 2--have a chimney.
| | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I'm curious--how can I get on the Board? And what about intra-board dating? What are the stats on the current board members? (# of guys/girls, availability)
- Romano | | R: | Dear Romano,
If you're thinking of joining the board for dating prospects, that isn't a good reason to let you on. We've answered before about how to get on the Board (see archives). Effort, people! And what are your qualifications? Can you run 10 miles barefoot through tacks and eat fire? We didn't think so. Random question! You know, I've been waiting for someone to write some question such as this. Next we'll get reader comments from people who think so&so on the board should date so&so ... look what you've started. Anywho, if there's any intra-board dating (dating-see archives) going on, no one knows about it. I mean, are you kidding?! In addition to being crazy, we hate each other; we only communicate through email and use pen-names. The only thing we have in common is email, BYU, and pizza. You really think that we know each other well enough to date? I mean, with all the pen-names we use, you'd think there would be 50 people on the board. You can fill in your own numbers: 26% of the board are girls and 74% are guys; 17% of everyone is married, 17% (that we know of) are dating specific people, and so that means that 66% (percentage rounded up) of the board is probably available. The main writer (see archives) is the sole person who knows everyone, but doesn't make it a point to know everyone's dating status, and didn't give opinions to me about anyone on the board when I asked for information. For the record, you aren't the first to inquire; in the past we got a question from a guy wanting to find out how to date some of the girls here (see archives) so we created a dating application. Funny that no one has actually filled it out... They must be intimidated or something. It would be like the ultimate blind date. (I really like this "see archives" theme but do we have an archived answer on blind dates yet? See archives.)
- Scouting for another tangent to add to the archives | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Is there a way to join your team? Dudes (and dudettes)... I totally dig this stuff.
-Dax | | R: | Dear Dax,
Sure you can. But only if you can figure out how. It's like my father swimming through the ocean to find me. There was a way, but did he want it bad enough? Yes. And he figured out how to do it on his own (plus the help of some friends, yo). Anyway, and it isn't guaranteed that once you figure that out you're automatically on staff, either. Dude, I know first hand that we've got a few applications in already that we haven't done anything with, mainly 'cause we haven't had a need for more writers. But dude, try it if you want to, dude. Hint: The Archive is the word, man.
- Nemo | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What would a person have to do to join your witty response team? Oh, and do Powerbars really give you gas?
- Stu Dog | | R: | Dear Stu Dog,
Check the archives to find out. And the answer isn't categorized anywhere, either.
Powerbars list "oat bran" as one of their ingredients. Oat bran contains soluble fiber, which causes gas.
- Trivial | | R: | Dear Stuie,
You have to do more than ask that question. If you ask that, you definitely aren't ready to join us.
-CGNU Grad | | R: | Dear Stu Dog,
Apparently, you would have to impress CGNU Grad.
§åû®µ$ | | R: | Dear Stu Dog,
The answer about how to join us is 'illusive.'
-Uffish Thought | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How do you become one of the writer on the board?
-Unemployed | | R: | Dear Unemployed,
The traditional answer to this question is "search the archives." Somewhere in there, you'll learn how to become a writer.
Unfortunately, if you're looking for a paying job it's not worth your time to search the archives. Board Writers write from whatever goodness their hearts can dredge up, and no one gets paid.
-Uffish Thought | | R: | Dear Unemployed:
I love the way you worded your question: "how do you become ONE of the WRITER on the board". It kindof makes us sound like one big mass of information. Whoa, whoa. However, I thought you may like some answers for this question, so here you go:
<^6152>
<^8790>
<^10449>
<^8960>
That should get you started.
Hooray for the archives!
Mojoschmoe | | Q: | Dear bored...
How do you become a member of the board?
One with desires to do something with his bored hours | | R: | Dear one,
Things that will get you onto The Board.
Membership dues. Payable to me. In the form of tres leches cake, or whatever it is I feel like. In return, I'll let you answer some questions. Let me know what you're good at, and I'll send some of them along to you. I'll even let you use a 'nym, so if your answers stink no one will blame me.
Unlimited knowledge. Someone has to cover for me when I don't know the answers. It might as well be you. Please be able to answer any type of question, with amazing accuracy, and for bonus points, be able to explain technicalities so anyone can understand them.
Ridiculously Good Looks. This is the 100 Hour Board, folks. We're an elite group. An elite attractive group. Think :::Latro:::, think Mighty Quinn, (editor's note: think Optimistic.) think songs of inexperience, think Johanna Von Bigenstrien, think Uffish Thought. Man. If you're not the epitome of human beauty, don't even think about applying.
Cooking Skills. Board writers are well-rounded folk with many interests. Food preparation is always appreciated, if you can do it well. Honestly, people respect people who can cook. It's a useful skill, and one that wins friends, and inflences people. Baked goods can help get answers out of reticent sources, and makes you a hit at the ever-popular Board parties.
Super Powers. They're very in right now.
A Personality. All of the above cannot save you from crushing rejection if you have no personality. Sorry. And not only personality, but marketable personality.
Knowledge of How to Get on The Board. If you're asking, it means you don't quite understand this whole game. (Actually, it means you do--get the answers from people who know, but we prefer other people who know. Or find where we've already given the answers.)
There's more, of course, but it's advanced stuff. Please master these first, and then you may request more.
-Uffish Thought | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have only recently discovered The Board (and by recently, I mean about 45 minutes ago), which as a junior, I consider to be BYU's best kept secret. As a person with normally adequate bladder control, I was suprised to find myself feeling the urge to sprint to the nearest restroom on occassion due to the extreme hilarity of some entries (see top 10). However, as someone who is probably more cynical and just as witty as some of your members, and as someone who wholly enjoys "taking the mickey" out of someone for a good puniful (my made up word of the day) laugh, I would like to know how one could theoretically join the throes of laughter and in some cases, passion (Petra and Optimistic, anyone?) of The Board.
- Quizically,
Sparkle and Leroy | | R: | Dear Sparkle and Leroy,
Congratulations for discovering the Board! It's a dangerously passionate world of intrigue, espionage, and delight. That said, joining the board is a well-kept secret that has been guarded for ages. Think Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade meets the DaVinci Code. If you still think you're brave enough I'd suggest starting looking through the Archives.
-Castle in the Sky | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How do you get to be on the board? My roommate and I spend all our free time reading what you write and we just want to know how u got to be who u are.
- P. Irwin | | R: | Dear P.,
Search the archives. You'll find out soon enough.
Nike | | R: | Dear P. Irwin
While the archives are rife and replete with accounts of the travails associated with earning (yes, earning) the title Board Writer, the key event is the Tunnel Worm wrestling. These majestic and fearsome beasts have devoured many a would-be writer, but, obviously, all who now answer the many queries flung in the Board's direction bested those primal beauties.
-Humble Master | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I want to be a writer, I want to be a writer, I want to be a writer, for Christmas this year. Oh, board writers turn me into wa-one of you.
Okay, that was my little song. Question is: What is the application procedure and what do I do?
- Will my wish come true? | | R: | Dear Ernie,
Search the archives where all will be revealed.
-Azriel | | R: | Dear will my wish come true?,
At this rate, no, it will not.
-Tangerine | | Q: | Hello!
So...How do I go about applying to work with the 100 hour board? I am really good at finding information and I could really help some confused people like you do.
Thanks,
Possibly your future co-worker | | R: | Dear We'll see about that-
Oooh, I'm glad to field this one; I've been on the Board for a few months now, but I still haven't had this classic answering opportunity.
Standard Answer A: If you don't know by now, you haven't read enough.
Standard Answer B: If you're that good at finding information and that qualified to be a writer, you'll figure it out.
Standard Answer C: Search the archives.
Foreman's Hint: It's not that tough, really.
Best of luck to you on figuring it out and making it happen!
-Foreman | | R: | Dear Reader,
You do know we don't get paid, right? (I'd just hate for someone to go to the trouble of applying and apprenticing and then find out the bad news.)
- Katya | | R: | Dear Possibly~
Bribery. Figure out who I am and bribe me through the teeth. Then, um, figure out how to apply.
~Hobbes | | Q: | Omniscient ones,
After searching through hours of mindless queries, I have come to the conclusion that the answer to the ultimate question (how to become a writer) just doesn't exist. I feel as though I could write a discourse on any other topic covered by the mighty ones, and yet I find my memory entirely absent of any direct means by which to join the board of writers. I haven't yet served my mission yet, so it's not a matter of me just really wanting to write up answers to random questions; it's all a matter of curiosity for me. And so, at last, and with some disgrace, to the actual question portion of my pitiful inquiry:
Does the answer actually exist in a direct form? As in, is there a post in the archive that documents explicitly how to apply, or is it some long chain of obscure references to alphabet soup and the grammatical niceties of werf?
Thoroughly befuddled,
-Nicodemus | | R: | Dear Ethel,
I not-so-secretly love questions like this because they come up in the search and make it even harder to find out how to become a writer. Delicious irony.
Yes, the answer is there. You have a lot of current writers as proof that there is a way and that way is in the archives.
-Polly Esther | | R: | Dear Nic,
I'll give you two hints:
(1) The first step (which is all that we expect you to find in the archives, because we take over from there) is very simple. So you may have seen it and dismissed it as too obvious.
(2) The questions (and yes, that is plural) which contain the information about the first step tend to be in the older section of the archives. We haven't needed to repeat the information in past years because it was already there.
- Katya |
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| Why is the sky blue? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why is the sky blue?
- Mark | | A: | Dear Mark,
If you really want to know, there is a great explanation at http://www.why-is-the-sky-blue.org/why-is-the-sky-blue.html.
- fan of "Orange Colored Sky"
Dear Mark,
When light from the sun comes zipping through the earth's atmosphere oxygen and nitrogen molecules cause it to scatter in all directions. All colors of light scatter through the atmosphere but blue light scatters more than the rest because of its shorter wavelength. Once the blue light has scattered through the whole sky that's what you see. Actually, violet has the shortest wavelength of all colors and it's scattered even more than blue light. However, our eyes are much more sensitive to blue than violet especially if you're color blind like me, therefore we see the sky as blue.
So, then why is the sky red at sunset? Well, once the sun is at a lower angle in the sky its light has to travel farther through the atmosphere to reach you. Once it reaches you dust, gases, and pollution have scattered the blues and greens so much that all you and the honey you're snuggling with can see are the pretty reds, pinks, and orages. Now just bust a little Martinelli's and hey, this date is on a roll.
Cheers,
- §åüRû$
| | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have wondered why the sea is blue, people say it is because of the sky, but then why is the sky blue?
- Jeb | | R: | Dear Jeb,
This is one of our Frequently Asked Questions! Check 'em out on the left-hand side of the screen.
-la bamba |
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| How many licks does it take to get to get to the center of a tootsie-roll pop? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How many licks does it take to get to the middle of a lollipop?
- Mishelle
| | A: | Dear Mishelle,
It's TOOTSIE. NOT LOLLI!!! And Toostie was the name of the inventor’s daughter, and none of them contain chocolate. Mmmm . . . carob donuts.
-Mr Turtle
Dear Mishelle,
Well, that depends on whether you mean completely uncovering the center, or just reaching it on one side. I decided to do a test, using a large number of tootsie roll pops, and came up with the following numbers:
To reach the center on one side: Avg licks: 74 Minimum was 63, Maximum 86
To reach the center all around: Avg licks: 359 Minimum 310, Max 402
Your lick count may vary considerably, depending on the surface area and texture of your tongue, and how aggressively you lick your tootsie roll pops. I am now thoroughly disgusted with tootsie roll pops, so don't anyone offer me any anytime soon. Not until tomorrow, at least.
- Rufus the Wonder Puppy
Editor’s Note: This question was asked in our archives May 15, 2002. This is our scientific answer.
Dear Curious,
Tootsie Roll Industries, Inc. is an incredibly friendly company as far as answering letters concerning Tootsie Pops are concerned, and if you write them a letter asking about any Tootsie Pop related issue, they will reply. I invite you to do so, just so that you won't have to take my word for it. But since you asked for my word, here it comes. The Indian rumor is as old as the Tootsie Pop itself, and has as much substance to it as Tootsie Pops do. What many people will tell you is that finding the Indian shooting at the star entitles you to a free Tootsie Pop. Tootsie Roll Industries, Inc. will tell you otherwise. For an interesting link regarding the prize, go to: http://www.daily.umn.edu/daily/1996/12/09/sports/pops/ Since you are a college student, I trust you will be able to separate fact from fiction. I think I get the Indian every other Tootsie Pop, so for this girl to go fifteen years without finding it makes her sound like the unluckiest Tootsie Pop consumer ever.
The number of licks question has been posed a number of times to the 100 Hour Board, and answers may be found in the archives. So that you don't have to go digging, I will provide yet another answer to the eternal question of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop. First, let us make some assumptions so that we can handle this problem appropriately.
Assumption #1: By center of the tootsie pop we shall assume center of mass.
Assumption #2: Only licks are allowed to reach the center (no bites, sucks, chomps or chews).
Assumption #3: Licks are ideal; that is that each and every lick has the same licking power as the first lick.
Assumption #4: Licking power does not vary from person to person.
Assumption #5: All Tootsie Pops are identical.
Assumption #6: Uniform licking, which means the Tootsie Pop maintains each unlicked proportion at all stages of the licking process.
Assumptions #7: Tootsie Pops are of uniform consistency, which means that each part of the pop yields under the same licking pressure as another part.
Assumption #8: Temperature of mouth = Normal human body temp. = 98.7 degrees Fahrenheit. This is important in determining the solubility of a Tootsie Pop in saliva.
Assumption #9: Solubility of Tootsie Pops in saliva is the same as solubility in water.
Assumption #10: Assume activity coefficient of Tootsie Pop and saliva are equal to one. If you want to know what this means, take some chemistry classes. This may mean that you don't want to know what this means, and I don't blame you.
Assumption #11: Acceleration due to gravity is independent of altitude and there is no air resistance. I don't see how this assumption applies, but it's good to have it there just in case.
Now that we have all our assumptions laid out, we can go to work on the problem. I will spare you the tedious details, but based off these assumptions I get 47 licks. This may be attributed to the fact that assumptions 3–7 and 9–11 are really quite wrong (you may have noticed that the wise owl in the ads ignores assumption #2). Eliminating these assumptions makes the problem a lot harder, but hey, we're here to sacrifice for you), I get 974.34 licks, which looks reasonable. Better yet, you can lick to the center yourself, then write the company letting them know, so that they can publish your results to the world. Have fun!
—Othello
| | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have the classic question which I'm sure has been answered before:
How many licks does it really take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
- Tasty | | R: | Dear T
You're right. And the answer is not only in the archives, but in the FAQ! I'm sure you can find it there.
-Uffish Thought | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How many licks does it take to get to the middle of a lollipop?
- Mishelle | | R: | Dear Mishelle,
It's TOOTSIE. NOT LOLLI!!! And Toostie was the name of the inventor's daughter, and none of them contain chocolate. Mmmm . . . carob donuts.
-Mr Turtle
| | R: | Dear Mishelle,
Well, that depends on whether you mean completely uncovering the center, or just reaching it on one side. I decided to do a test, using a large number of tootsie roll pops, and came up with the following numbers:
To reach the center on one side: Avg licks: 74 Minimum was 63, Maximum 86
To reach the center all around: Avg licks: 359 Minimum 310, Max 402
Your lick count may vary considerably, depending on the surface area and texture of your tongue, and how aggressively you lick your tootsie roll pops. I am now thoroughly disgusted with tootsie roll pops, so don't anyone offer me any anytime soon. Not until tomorrow, at least.
- Rufus the Wonder Puppy
| | R: | Editor's Note: This question was asked in our archives May 15, 2002. This is our scientific answer.
Dear Curious,
Tootsie Roll Industries, Inc. is an incredibly friendly company as far as answering letters concerning Tootsie Pops are concerned, and if you write them a letter asking about any Tootsie Pop related issue, they will reply. I invite you to do so, just so that you won't have to take my word for it. But since you asked for my word, here it comes. The Indian rumor is as old as the Tootsie Pop itself, and has as much substance to it as Tootsie Pops do. What many people will tell you is that finding the Indian shooting at the star entitles you to a free Tootsie Pop. Tootsie Roll Industries, Inc. will tell you otherwise. For an interesting link regarding the prize, go to: http://www.daily.umn.edu/daily/1996/12/09/sports/pops/ Since you are a college student, I trust you will be able to separate fact from fiction. I think I get the Indian every other Tootsie Pop, so for this girl to go fifteen years without finding it makes her sound like the unluckiest Tootsie Pop consumer ever.
The number of licks question has been posed a number of times to the 100 Hour Board, and answers may be found in the archives. So that you don't have to go digging, I will provide yet another answer to the eternal question of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop. First, let us make some assumptions so that we can handle this problem appropriately.
Assumption #1: By center of the tootsie pop we shall assume center of mass.
Assumption #2: Only licks are allowed to reach the center (no bites, sucks, chomps or chews).
Assumption #3: Licks are ideal; that is that each and every lick has the same licking power as the first lick.
Assumption #4: Licking power does not vary from person to person.
Assumption #5: All Tootsie Pops are identical.
Assumption #6: Uniform licking, which means the Tootsie Pop maintains each unlicked proportion at all stages of the licking process.
Assumptions #7: Tootsie Pops are of uniform consistency, which means that each part of the pop yields under the same licking pressure as another part.
Assumption #8: Temperature of mouth = Normal human body temp. = 98.7 degrees Fahrenheit. This is important in determining the solubility of a Tootsie Pop in saliva.
Assumption #9: Solubility of Tootsie Pops in saliva is the same as solubility in water.
Assumption #10: Assume activity coefficient of Tootsie Pop and saliva are equal to one. If you want to know what this means, take some chemistry classes. This may mean that you don't want to know what this means, and I don't blame you.
Assumption #11: Acceleration due to gravity is independent of altitude and there is no air resistance. I don't see how this assumption applies, but it's good to have it there just in case.
Now that we have all our assumptions laid out, we can go to work on the problem. I will spare you the tedious details, but based off these assumptions I get 47 licks. This may be attributed to the fact that assumptions 3-7 and 9-11 are really quite wrong (you may have noticed that the wise owl in the ads ignores assumption #2). Eliminating these assumptions makes the problem a lot harder, but hey, we're here to sacrifice for you), I get 974.34 licks, which looks reasonable. Better yet, you can lick to the center yourself, then write the company letting them know, so that they can publish your results to the world. Have fun!
-Othello
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Now when they ask 'how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?' Do they mean the VERY center (to the stick), or just until you pierce the hard outer layers and hit the Tootsie roll nugget beneath?
- never been able to refrain from biting long enough... | | R: | Dear snaps,
My understanding is how many licks until you get to the center (Tootsie Roll) layer. I've never given it great consideration, though.
—Laser Jock | | R: | Dear Big Mad Drongo,
I'm with Laser Jock on this one. Your tongue would probably be really sore if you licked your way through the Tootsie part, too.
-Azriel | | R: | Dear biting,
When branflakes and I took the Great Tootsie Roll Pop Challenge of '06, we only had to reach the edge of the tootsie roll center. And let me tell you, our tongues were plenty sore after just doing that six times in a row.
-Tangerine | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
(How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?)
- (Rachel) | | R: | Rachel,
1,989,910,206,281,247,066,314,482,873,446,858,051
Laconic | | R: | Dear those parentheses aren't as clever as you think:
This is actually one of our FAQs.
---Portia |
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| Are there tunnels under campus? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Are there REALLY tunnels underneath campus? And if so, do they go to all the buildings? The Clyde and the Wilk in particular?
- Curious George
Dear 100 Hour Board,
Fire-n-Brimstone recently mentioned something about BYU-student-eating tunneling worms that live under the campus. I would like to know more about these worms. Perhaps they are the reason the tunnels below BYU have been blocked off—not because of overly curious students, as one Board member claimed a month or so ago. I think he was hiding something.
—Spork the Great (not to be confused with Gnut) | | A: | Dear Curious George:
There are indeed tunnels that run under the campus. There are virtually two long tunnels that run north and west under the campus from the heating plant. The sole purpose of the tunnels is to allow the unsung heroes that work in the Physical Facilities Department to keep our campus running smoothly. They are small tunnels requiring an average sized person to duck, and anyone that is claustraphobic would be advised to stay clear. The tunnels are strictly off limits to hopeful amateur spelunkers.
-- Splinter
Dear Spork not Gnut,
Of course the tunnels below BYU were blocked off because of overly curious students. They were blocked off because overly curious students kept getting eaten by massive ravenous BYU student eating tunneling worms. There are only so many student disappearances BYU can cover for in a semester, and they had to make cutbacks. Their primary food supply comes from couples who, with nowhere else to go, will find a solitary corner of campus to make out at. They’re tricky. When someone drops a dollar bill or a candy bar down one of the vents strewn around campus, they will lie in wait for some poor fool to stick their arm down then in an instant as quick as a viper they grab them and pull them down under, swallowing them whole.
The only one BYU’s ever caught had just eaten a football player and found it was too big to go back into its hole. A day later though it escaped the cage they put it in by tunneling through the bottom, but not until it had taken a few Bio students with to snack on, on its way home. I have it on authority that the main nest of them lies 40 feet under ground, directly under the vent by the SWKT that expels heat. Anyone who goes there to have a little fun, of course, does so at his or her own risk. This is all, of course, highly classified. The lab that exists to study them lies in the 3rd sub-level of the Widstoe building and has the highest fatality rate of any job on campus.
But please understand, giant man-eating tunneling worms are people too. Just because they eat us and dig huge holes in the ground does not mean that we should discriminate against them. We invaded THEIR natural habitat by building our sub-levels. We should all do our part to SAVE THE WORMS!
Oh drat, I think I feel something chewing on my leg…
Sincereaaaaaaaaa…
Fire-n-Brim
| | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
A few questions:
1) Are there really tunnels under BYU?
2) How do I become a member of the 100 hour board?
3) How come I can't figure out how to use your search function?
4) Will you answer my supposedly hypothetical situation involving my friend and his hopeful future spouse, even though we all know this friend is actually me, and this situation is not actually hypthetical?
5) How do you type with boxing gloves on your hands?
Thanks,
commoner | | R: | Dear Commoner,
First off, your first couple of questions can be answered by searching the archives. We know the search function doesn't work too well, but hang in there, our fearless Webmaster is redesigning it, along with the whole site. However, I will give you some answers.
1) Yes, there are tunnels under BYU. I've been in many of them, and they really aren't that cool. When you hear those rumors about Gas using the tunnels to get around campus, they're all lies. Mostly the tunnels just deliver utilities of different sorts to the buildings, and you can't get into the buildings from the tunnels either. The tunnels are hot, musty, dirty places that you wouldn't want to go. Oh, and one last thing, don't try to go into the tunnels, they're alarmed.
2) To become a writer for The Board, you have to fill out an application, and we have to like your answers to said application. However, it has been our long standing policy not to tell you how to get an application. You have to learn to search the archives for that one...
3) The current search utility unfortunately adds a hypothetical "or" to the words you search for. If you want to have any luck, search for a single, very distinct word.
4) The more information you give us, the better of an answer we will be able to give. Just beware; hypothetical situations often receive opinions (many of them contradictory) in return.
5) I type just fine while wearing "Gentleman's sport gloves". The question is, how do you type without boxing gloves on your hands?
-Phoenix
| | R: | Dear Peasant,
If you don't already know the answer to questions 1-3, then you haven't been on here long enough to worry about question 2. As for question 4, we answer pretty much every legitimate question that is answered. When it comes to question 5, if you think that is impressive, you should see me handle a cellphone, calculator, and make radish roses.
-CGNU Grad | | R: | Dear Commoner,
In reference to question five, if I were Strong Bad, this question would be...
DELETED!!!
- Not Strong Bad | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
People have asked about their existence, of the which I know, but how does a person gain access to the maintenence tunnels that run under BYU (not including, of course, the library storage tunnels). And where can I find blueprints of these particular tunnels.
As junvenille as it may seem, I am fascinated by the concept of these tunnels. Could this be where they store the legendary 3-day food storage for the BYU population? Is this where Hoffa and Hitler are buried? Do you know of anyone willing to take someone with an hour of free time on a tour?
Heh, I know, there are some who don't believe these tunnels exist. But freshman year, we climbed down the entrance area in front of the Clyde building (freshmen seem to have all the time in the world), and the door was rusted shut. But the grate covering the opening came off quick and easy!
Thanks....
Tunnel-Happy | | R: | Dear Tunnel,
Yeah right! Like I'm going to risk my life to take you on a nice leisurely tour of the tunnels! You may want to be devoured by the man-eating worms, but I still have sit-ups to do today so you'll have to give yourself the self-guided tour. They have CD players and headphones in the library to check-out.
Be sure to leave a deposit for the CD player.
- Mighty Quinn | | R: | Dear Settle down,
First, normal people on campus don't just "gain access" to the tunnels. They are a restricted area and in all honesty, not all that much fun, especially further south on campus.
Second, even if you do find a way in, you wont' be in there for long. Since the man eating worms can't be everywhere at once down there, there are multiple alarms set up down there (and not ones that you can simply step over) that are monitored 24/7. Police will quickly descend on you administering consequences that can range from a simple warning to banning you from campus.
Third, the three day food storage on campus is not down there. The three day food storage is simply the food that would normally be eaten over the next 3 days at the campus cafeterias and Cougareat. The reason it is legendary is simply because most other universities only have on hand the food for that day only, with the next days food coming in on trucks early the next morning. That's it. No mystery.
Fourth, Jimmy Hoffa is not dead. He is currently 92 and in excellent health living in Chumbukwee, Tennessee with Elvis and Bigfoot. Hitler is not buried down there but I hear that Moroni turned over an extra set of gold plates to the three Nephites who hid them somewhere near the HFAC for safekeeping, knowing anyone who found them would simply assume the plates were a discarded prop.
Lastly, no, I don't know anyone who would be willing to take you on a tour and OSHA kind of frowns on non-essentail people being in there.
-CGNU Grad | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What are tunnel worms?
- High Empress Romsca | | R: | Dear Romsca,
The worm is the spice. The spice is the worm. He who controls the spice... controls the universe.
- Muad'Dib | | R: | Dear High:
Worms that live in tunnels.
Hooray for being obvious!
Mojoschmoe | | R: | Dear High Empress Romsca,
For you, dear one, they're a figment of your imagination.
-Zantedeschia | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Are there tunnels under BYU? I would like to know the answer.
- Bored | | R: | Dear Bored,
There are 17 posts are on our archives about the tunnels, with the most recent one being March 3rd. I don't even know why we have archives. I think people are just trying to be funny. I don't think we should answer questions about BYU tunnels anymore...
No there are no tunnels under BYU. Advisement centers on campus aren't open until 5pm, there is no university called BYU-Idaho, there is no large hole in the middle of campus, and BYU basketball is playing its worst season in history.
- Glimmer Gels
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How come when a person asks a question about the tunnels you respond with "Check the archives," yet when people keep asking what certain buttons do, you respond each and every time? That's not all, but there are multiple responses to the question.
I. Hatethe Button | | R: | Dear IHTB,
Thank you for being such an avid reader of the board to take note of this situation. The button question is what we affectionately refer to as a "group question" because every writer can come up with a different answer to the question (as you noted.) However the "tunnel" question only has one answer, which does not make it very much fun to keep repeating.
Moreover, we can see that you feel slighted by the lack of response in the tunnel question, to which we will say once and for all: They connect buildings to each other and contain man-eating worms, but most of them carry utilities, especially heat. They also have electrical boxes, cables and pipes carrying hot water to heat buildings. But the tunnels are highly secured and dangerous, so don't try to get in there.
But, never fear, Button-inquirer, the next time someone asks a button question, we will advise that reader to our archives. Buttons can only be pushed so many times...
-The Queen of Everything
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Are there REALLY tunnels underneath campus? And if so, do they go to all the buildings? The Clyde and the Wilk in particular?
- Curious George | | R: | Dear Curious George:
There are indeed tunnels that run under the campus. There are virtually two long tunnels that run north and west under the campus from the heating plant. The sole purpose of the tunnels is to allow the unsung heroes that work in the Physical Facilities Department to keep our campus running smoothly. They are small tunnels requiring an average sized person to duck, and anyone that is claustraphobic would be advised to stay clear. The tunnels are strictly off limits to hopeful amateur spelunkers.
-- Splinter |
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|
| How much wood could a woodchuck chuck? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Seriously.
Enjoy yourself. I need a laugh.
- Very Interested | | A: | Dear Woodchuck Lover,
Well, the average wood-chucking woodchuck chucks about 1/4 cord per hour. So, assuming you've got the woodchuck on a 8 hour/day, 5 days/week schedule, that's 10 cords of wood per week, or roughly 510 cords per year (assuming he doesn't get vacation or holidays).
- Not a woodchuck
Dear VI,
How much would Chuck chuck if Chuck could chuck wood? Well, perhaps Chuck is an environmentally concerned college graduate. Instead of chucking wood, Chuck would pile it neatly where people could find it, so they would use what had already been cut, rather than chopping down extraneous trees. Chuck would also recycle every scrap of paper that came his way. He would probably find an environmentally friendly substitute for tp. Unfortunately, our friend Chuck is a little too "save-the-rainforest" and not quite enough common sense. His sense of self-preservation is sadly distorted. This being the case, he removed himself from the gene pool one day last week by chaining himself to a tree deep in the Brazilian rainforest, where slash-and-burn farming is still very much a way of life. Unfortunately, a fire lit by a destitute family whose previous plot of ground had ceased to be productive because all the nutrients had been leached out of the soil and not replaced caused a rather large tree to fall. This tree hit another tree, which felled the (relatively) small tree to which Chuck had chained himself. The resulting blow to Chuck's skull (well, and the rest of him, too) killed him immediately. I bet that now, if Chuck would, if he could, chuck all the wood that came his way.
--Knkush (chi uraghuh), who is not at *all* happy with the way things are going right now but is very confused about life. The only thing of which Kchiu is certain is that the weekend was a rather bad one, which has evoked emotions rather matching the shirt presently worn--washed-out blue. Also, when Kchiu needs a laugh, Kchiu dons an out McDonald's shirt. Today was very much a Monday, following previously mentioned crummy weekend. The MD shirt was worn today.
| | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a wouldchuck could chuck wood?
- Squirell Hunter | | R: | Dear Bad Speller,
As much wood as pecks of pickled peppers Peter Piper picks.
-la bamba | | R: | Dear Squirrel Hunter,
I was terribly confused about your question until I realized that the animal that you were referring to was the whistling pig. Below is an article about the afore mentioned animal.
The Social Ramifications of Woodchucks Chucking Wood
Since the dawn of time man has wondered, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The purpose of this research is to determine first; if a woodchuck can chuck wood, second; if it can, how much; third; if it cannot, how much would it theoretically be able to chuck if it could and fourth; what are the social ramifications of chucking wood.
The woodchuck is burrowing rodent native to North America. It is also known as a whistle pig or a groundhog. The term woodchuck is probably a folk etymology from the Algonquin word for the wood chuck. They are known as whistle pigs due to the whistling sound that the animal makes. They are a grayish-brown color.
The main problem which had to be overcome before conclusions could be made was to determine the meaning of the word chuck. According to Webster's ninth Collegiate dictionary, chuck can mean to toss, however, nowhere were any woodchucks seen tossing wood. Since I didn't like this result I ignored it and found that it is far more likely that the correct meaning of the word chuck in this context is to have done with.
The woodchucks were watched in the wild for two months. The person watching the woodchucks dressed as a large woodchuck and wore woodchuck scent in order to not disturb the woodchucks. The original scent used was that of a woodchuck in heat, this did not have the desired effect and its use was discontinued. Observations were written in a field book every 17 minutes from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. It was later learned that woodchucks were very active at night. This reported nocturnal behavior is probably not important to the results anyway, but it was necessary to mention. It should probably also be mentioned that one of the grad students who worked as an observer was a cultural studies major and could not differentiate between a woodchuck and some breeds of dogs. This should not greatly affect the results.
Woodchucks were seen many times chucking wood, that is ignoring the wood as if they were "done with" it. For simplicity the term "lignin avoidance" will be used in this paper to denote the chucking behavior. Many times, when presented with the choice between a clear path through a field and one through a nearby forest which was merely 100 yards away, the woodchucks would almost always choose the wood- free field, clearly displaying lignin avoidance. In order to test this further, the mouth of the woodchuck's burrow was surrounded on three sides with tree logs. The woodchuck again displayed lignin avoidance when choosing a path to its burrow. Only occasionally were woodchucks observed chasing small sticks of wood and barking as they picked them up and returned to a person usually egging them on with commands such as "good dog." It is still unknown how the woodchucks developed this behavioral pattern of lignin nonavoidance.
The ability of a woodchuck to chuck, exhibit lignin avoidance, being proven, the question of how much was then addressed. It was calculated that a typical woodchuck could actually chuck the majority of the wood in the world. Even young woodchucks which could not walk yet were easily able to chuck all of the wood in Asia and South America.
The social ramifications of lignin avoidance in woodchucks are relatively minor, since woodchucks are not particularly social animals. It was found that woodchucks that did not chuck wood were far more lonely than other woodchucks because they were 10% less likely to meet a woodchuck of the opposite sex near wood than if they were near the discarded and scented woodchuck suit. Wood was also found to introduce stress into woodchuck environments. If a large wooden stick was waved at an unsuspecting groundhog, its heart rate would increase, as well as its oxygen intake. Only once was lignin avoidance seen to generate a violent response from another woodchuck. A large woodchuck chased another woodchuck who had been chucking wood back to its burrow barking and snarling. It stood over the burrow opening barking and wagging its tail until a person came and shot the woodchuck that had been chucking. Another strange example of the strange symbiotic relationship of man and woodchuck.
There is no longer a question about whether or not woodchucks chuck wood, or how much wood they can chuck, it is the basic rule which woodchuck society and life is based on.
Thank you http://www.people.virginia.edu/~jbk9y/wdcksoc.html.
-Novel Concept | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.
- Anonymous | | R: | Dear Anonymous,
You aren't the first.
- The Black Sheep |
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| Why are doors to campus buildings hard to open? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why are the ESC doors made so hard to go through?
- Apparent Weakling | | A: | Dear Weaking,
This is the second time we have answered this question in the last few weeks. This time, let’s just say that the newly remodeled ESC was equipped with doors that, in an emergency such as a fire, would automatically open. The motor and other hardware necessary to make an automatic door make it a little heavier and harder to open manually. It’s just like those automatic doors for the handicapped that you can push the button and they open. Trust me, you’ll thank them when you’re running for your life from the building.
--Washington Irving | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | |
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| Why do clocks on campus buzz? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What's that weird-loud-scary sound most BYU wall clocks make when it's almost the hour??
- Clock-o-Loc-o | | A: | Dear Clock-o-Loco-o,
Rumor has it that the clocks are all tied together on a time schedule, and when one of the clocks isn't with the other ones and it's almost the top of the hour, the groaning noise is the clock knowing it is going to be beaten if it isn't on time with the other ones and therefore it needs to catch up with everyone else and keep the correct time for students.
- Duchess, who hates reading really long sentences
A Dear Clock-o-Loc-o,
That “that weird-loud-scary sound” most BYU clocks make is a result of the University spending way too much money on the clock system. Somebody thought it would be cool if all of the clocks on campus were self correcting (which it is) and so all of the clocks and the bell system on campus are tied together so that they always agree on the time. Unfortunately these clocks are cheap enough/old enough, that in the course of one hour they frequently get off by a time of several minutes, and thus the need for correction every hour. I personally think it would have been easier just to get a clock that kept the correct time.
-Phoenix
| | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I was wondering what the deal is with the clocks on campus. At like two minutes to the hour, they make a soft buzzing noise, but not so soft that it sometimes isn\'t distracting. And I have noticed this in a number of buildings on campus, so its not just the building or anything.
- Why I care about the clocks, I don\'t know | | R: | Dear WICATCIDK,
Now, why you care about the clocks, I don't know either, but I'll tell you that during these doubly long summer classes I'm occasionally drawn out of a nice summer siesta when the buzzing starts. You know how it goes...... SNAP! up jerks the head, the eyes flexing hard to focus, how long was I out? Was it just a moment? You wonder if anyone spied the tell-tale cranial bob, and of course you have to perform a simple, nonchalant drool check. That's ALWAYS a fun thing to do... and we think we're so sly when we're doing it, don't we? A wee fake cough, huuggghh, and a courteous mouth covering gesture usually does the trick. Then there's the wake-up routine. A little crick-crack of the neck, shifting the sitting weight to the other cheek, recrossing the legs, and then of course some spittle on the fingers to make sure those eyebrows are smoothed down good and tight. Um, well, but I don't do that. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. BIG FAT TANGENT: Have you ever noticed how everyone has some sort of automated body check system when they get up? I see it at the HBLL all the time. We stand up, give the shirt a few tugs that have zero effect on how it actually looks or fits, scratch the arms a bit, flip the hair over and over, and make the rounds over the body as habit feels inclined. But who are all of these people that have to check everybody else all the time? One time I was in this huge lecture hall class and I feel something picking at me so I turn around. This stranger goes, "Oh, sorry. There was just this long hair on your shirt and it was really bugging me." Gee, sorry, I didn't mean to disturb YOU during class. Does this come from our primate heritage when we used to pluck tasty parasites off of one another? Those were the days! And they say we've evolved! Bah. So, these people are always running around pulling lint and pet hair off of other people. It's fine, I suppose. Clean me like the dirty ape I am!! I'll tell you what we've evolved to for cleaning each other, Mom spit. She always used to irk me by licking her thumb and using it as an all-purpose cleaner all over my face. All your elementary school buddies watching your mother bathe you like a kitten before she drops you off at the playground. I feel manly now! She's already got me wearing the homemade blue and yellow underwear, now this. And that stuff is a heavy duty cleansing compound. They have women just hawking into the WD-40 mixture back at the factory, it's true. I heard that's what Comet is. Just dehydrated Mom spit. Exfoliates your face and brings a shine to the tub. Don't know where I'd be without Mom.....probably still hanging out with cute little Chelsea who dumped me when she learned about the underwear.
- §åùRû$ | | R: | Dear Clock Wonderer,
The clocks are rumored to do that because they're slow and they have to catch up with the top of the hour. Silly clocks.
- Zorro | | Q: | Why do some of the older clocks on campus make a loud (almost grinding) sound at approximately 2 minutes before each hour? | | R: | Dear Anonymous,
You should check out the F.A.Q. It turns out that the clocks are connected to a central time server, and that they are set to automatically adjust their time.
-Phoenix | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Tonight at six o'clock (Wednesday) I had class in room 230 of the SWKT. As we were sitting there, the clock started going crazy! The minute hand was spinning as fast as a second hand. When clock reached 7 o'clock, the bell rang in the building, so I think all the clocks were going crazy. When we left class, the clock had reached 12 o'clock and was still going strong. I know the clocks at BYU are synchronized, so were they all going crazy? What on earth was going on?
- M of SE | | R: | Dear M of SE,
It turns out that at six o'clock (both a.m. and p.m.) the clocks on campus get a correction to the hour hand; a few minutes before each hour they get minute corrections. It sounds like you caught one of the hour corrections.
So why do the clocks get so far off, sometimes? If they're old enough the motors will slow down and need to be corrected frequently.
It also turns out that if you try to adjust the clock by hand, it'll totally mess up its efforts to set itself to the correct time. This is especially a problem around switches to and from daylight saving time; if people try to set the clocks themselves, the clocks can stop working properly.
If the clock is still not working, you can call the electric shop and let them know; the number is 422-5533. (BYU Facilities Building Services has a fantastically detailed page of where to call to report problems with a variety of things on campus.)
—Laser Jock | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
This isn't really a question, it's more of a response to a response of another question. On the FAQ's page under the question as to why clocks buzz every hour, an answer is given that the clocks on campus are old/cheap enough that they get off a few minutes every hour, resulting in the buzzing correction sound. This is actually only half right. The most commonly used system clocks on campus are actually very high quality (but 20 or so years old) and only require maintenance every 5-10 years, most of the time they only need a good cleaning and they're good for another 5-10 years. Every clock on campus resets 24 times a day (22 times for minute corrections and 2 times for hour corrections) regardless if they are on time or not. The clocks that buzz just have a noisy magnet, that's all. In the new buildings the University is actually using wirelessly controlled clocks that reset every hour as well, but use electronics instead of physical clock movements. They're controlled currently from a master control box in each building individually. You may ask as to how I know this, it's because I'm the one who's in charge of keeping them all running correctly.
- The Clock Man |
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| Does Brigham Young really do the funky chicken? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I've come across occasional references to the Brigham Young statue doing the funky chicken. What are they talking about?
- Curious | | A: | Dear Curious,
Oh, the memories you've brought back to me. When I was a freshman before they built the addition to the library, all that stood between the library and the ASB was a long grassy field--perfect for studying, chatting and playing frisbee. There was a sidewalk they bisected the field at an angle. At night if you ran alongside the sidewalk and looked at the statue of Brigham Young, he did a little dance. Or at least that's what it looked like. The way the light reflected of the windows of the ASB had somewhat of a strobe light effect and made it look like good-ole' Brigham was shaking his knees, doing the funky chicken.
I have no idea if it still works.
-AL
Dear Curious,
The "Tree of Life" sculpture was perched in front of the Brigham Young statue before it was moved south of the Kimball Tower. If you were jogging/running at the right position and looked at the statue through the sculpture, it made his legs look like they were moving back and forth. This was especially evident at night, when the lights from the ASB illuminated Brother Brigham from behind.
George (Editor’s note: There is no “Tree of Life” statue on campus. The sculpture is titled “Tree of Wisdom,” and is not related to anything in Lehi’s dream.)
Dear Curious,
I'm so glad that you asked this question. It's been about 3 hours since someone has brought it up. I was beginning to worry that the weekly quota of people asking about the Brigham Young chicken dance was slipping due to our faltering economy. I'm glad to answer it for the 3,245 time this year.
THE "TREE" MONUMENT (by the SWKT) USED TO BE IN FRONT OF THE BRIGHAM YOUNG STATUE. IF YOU RAN BY AND LOOKED AT THE BRIGHAM YOUNG STATUE BETWEEN THE SLATS OF THE "TREE," IT LOOKED LIKE BRIGHAM'S ARMS WERE IN A FLAPPING MOTION.
That's all.
-CAPCOM
Dear Youngin'
(To a cross between Madonna and McLean's American Pie.)
A long, long time ago,
before I can remember,
There was a pit
Fillin' ASB quad.
If we could just have
one more chance,
we'd like to see that statue dance
The-Funky-Chicken and make us giggle for a while.
But construction codes made us quiver
And the Tree of Life Statue was moved forever.
Down to its place on south campus
No more running behind it for us.
And when we think of the fabled deed
Of statues prancing in fowlish glee
We weep for days long gone to seed.
The day the dancing died.
Chorus1:
And we were singing,
Bye, bye, Mr. Chicken Guy
Now it's magazines forever
Then twas just a small fry
Your tree is gone,
Though painted with a white light
That throws parallel line-shadows in the night
And shades the cougars of the west when it's light.
2nd verse:
Who then decided to move the tree
That made Brigham dance for you and me?
It doesn't matter much but then-
Do you still want to know the why
That there's no longer a chicken guy
Known around the Provo campus
Well, I think they thought twas a rude mess
Though funny, yes, to see the Youngin' man
As students ran behind the statue bland
I think that reason was said aloud
Before these lyrics hit a crowd
That I know the chicken's lost without a sound
The day the dancing died.
Chorus2:
And we were singing,
Bye, bye, Mr. Chicken Guy
Now it's magazines forever
Then twas just a small fry
Your tree is gone,
Though painted with a white light
That throws parallel line-shadows in the night
And shades the cougars of the west when it's light.
Verse 3
I once knew a girl who wrote the answers
To life's little questions on a board of askers
But she just smiled, and signed her name.
I checked my e-mail for her call
But none there yet; she's hitting walls.
Even though she's worthy and gives her all-
And in the streets, they try in vain
to see if there's just one refrain
Of peace on earth good will to all
But will anyone even hear the call?
And the answer to your little ?
Or did I just forget to mention
They ran behind the Tree of Life
Making Brigham dance without a wife.
Chorus 3
And we were singing,
Bye, bye, Mr. Chicken Guy
Now it's magazines forever
Then twas just a small fry
Your tree is gone,
Though painted with a white light
That shades the cougars of the west when it's light.
Signed,
Fresh from VA AKA Killer Uno Addict
Well, if you didn't get it from the song...which was slightly cryptic as a nod to Don Mclean, the Tree of Life statue used to be in the north quad, and kids ran across it and somehow it worked so that Brigham Young "danced the funky chicken" when you looked at the statue of the prophet through the bars as you ran past, Brigham did the funky chicken as you ran past it.
And to end the song, unlike Don McLean, a little explanation of some bits here and
there-
There used to be a pit instead of the periodicals section, and before that, the Tree of Life statue. Apparently, it was actually moved to keep the statue safe, and well, didn't hurt that Brigham would no longer dance the funky chicken, considering he's the namesake and all.
And the Tree of Life statue DOES make little line-shadows at night if the moon is bright enough, and is you're around on a hot day, students are always parked in its shade. I think that Bateman decided to move it, but it's not really an issue. Simply trivia. The girl waiting for the mission call is me. And the call for good will toward all is answered by CNN.
~Fresh from VA AKA Killer Uno Addict
Dear Curious:
I too have heard the rumor. You can also make it talk to you, change colors, etc. Just follow these simple steps:
1. Take a large dose of prescription medication
2. Stay up until 4:00 am the day before
3. Study for midterms for several hours without eating or standing up.
4. Hit your head repeatedly on the statue.
-Knut the Great
Dear Curious,
Apparently once upon a time, when the Brigham Young statue stood in a slightly different location, one could walk back and forth past him in such a manner to make him appear like he was dancing, kind of like the cats in the Whiskas commercials. I never tried it myself, but I've heard reports that it doesn't really work well anymore, or that those who try it risk falling into the Pit of Despair by the library. Maybe that's why they dug the Pit of Despair: to preserve the dignity of the statue.
--Mr. Mestopheles
| | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I'd like to add a comment to the FAQ responses regarding Brigham Young doing the Funky Chicken. I first witnessed the phenomenon in the early 1970s, a few years before the Tree of Wisdom sculpture was erected between the HBLL and the ASB (and long before the sculpture was moved elsewhere). Originally, the effect was (as AL explains) dependent on the pattern of the windows in the ASB, not on the Tree sculpture, and it was best seen at night, when the contrast between the dark glass and the white stone grid structure was greatest. In order to catch our Dear Founder in his antics, one had to stand at the end of one of the diagonal walkways that used to crisscross the quad behind the ASB; then, focusing on the space between BY's legs, run down the path to the other end of the quad. As the ASB's alternating black-and-white window pattern appeared between the statue's legs, an optical illusion occurred that made it seem as though Brother Brigham was moving his knees back and forth. Going to watch Brigham Young do the Funky Chicken used to be a popular freshman initiation rite: something like a Scout snipe hunt, but with more satisfying results because the inevitably skeptical initiate was always amazed to find that he had been told the truth. "Wanna see Brigham Young do the Funky Chicken?" was also a reasonably good pick-up line during freshman orientation. Alas, Brigham Young quit dancing quite a long time ago. The HBLL addition got in the way of those diagonal walkways; but even before that, the shrubbery around the statue of BY grew up behind his legs, blocking the view of the ASB's windows between them. The Tree of Wisdom sculpture provided a similar, but inferior, visual effect until it was moved. I guess the Funky Chicken will always remain a 70s thing.
--Misaneroth's Mom |
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| What does the Special Exception status on Route Y mean? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Recently, the board was asked about what "special exception" means under a person's name on Route Y. That person was told to check the archives where this response was found: "I'm one of those "special exception" people, which means that at some point during my BYU career, I registered for over 16 credits, or the high-end average of credits for a given semester and was allowed to do so.
Once you're in this category, it doesn't matter whether you register for 14 credits/semester the rest of your time here. They still keep you in the Special Exception category." This cannot be a correct answer because I have taken 17-18 credits almost every semester that I've been here and yet I do not have this "special exception" under my name. What does it really mean?
-"Special Exception" Student
| | A: | Dear Special Exception,
According to a registration office worker, ‘special exception’ “doesn’t stand for much of anything.” When pressed, she consulted with another worker and replied that it is simply a “computer term for net IDs” that doesn’t really mean anything. When asked why some people have this designation and others don’t, she said that they designate “roles that need to be done for net IDs.” Hmmm…
--She Who Must Be Confused
Dear Special Exception,
Each person has roles assigned to their Net ID that gives them certain privileges. For example, "Active eligible to register student" gives a person the AIM icon in Route Y and other privileges. "Active full-time instructor" gives access to class roles and other things. "Special exception" is a role that is granted to people's Net ID's for special reasons. The main reason is when missionaries defer their enrollment. They are no longer "Active eligible to register" students, but at the same time they still need access to AIM to register when they get home. So they are granted "special exception." This is just one popular example of its use. Sorry, it has nothing to do with credit hours. Hopefully that clears up the issue.
--Speck | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
The "special exception" role visible in the BYU internal directory has nothing to do with whether a student has taken an increased number of credits in a given semester; neither does it mean that a student is a dependent of an active bishop or other ecclesiastical leader. It is simply something granted by the campus department (the office of IT at BYU) in order to clear up specific problems with individual netIDs. I hope this clears up your lingering doubts and endless torment caused by the thought that you either have or do not have the privilege of having been granted "special exception."
- Spectre | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How many times have people asked about the stupid "special exception" item on BYU Stalkernet?
- The Special Exception | | R: | Dear The Special One,
Too many times. Thanks for noticing, avid reader.
- The Board
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why is it that when you look up certain people on the BYU directory, they are labeled \"Special Exception\"? What does \"special exception\" mean?
-normal | | R: | To the person that says that someone "normal" exists in society:
I'm one of those "special exception" people, which means that at some point during my BYU career, I registered for over 16 credits, or the high-end average of credits for a given semester and was allowed to do so.
Once you're in this category, it doesn't matter whether you register for 14 credits/semester the rest of your time here. They still keep you in the Special Exception category.
I recommend not taking more than what you're comfortable with, and remember that if you stay without the "special exception" category, do not worry about it. It has nothing to do with honors or anything like that. Basically it means that unless you've found a way to "beat the system" you're accepting to not have a big social life due to study commitments.
Learn while doing good,
Fresh from VA, formerly Killer Uno Addict |
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| Why is there plastic wrap around campus statues? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why is what looks like saran wrap around the statues of Brigham Young and the "naked Indian"?
- Becky | | A: | Dear Becky,
They are there to protect the statue from iminent vandalisim by Ute fans with severe infiriority complexes, thinking that we are going to trash them in the game Saturday.
http://theboard.byu.edu/?view=&qid=1564
-Dragonboy | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why is the statue of the family in front of the SFLC wrapped in cellophane? Is it a prank or protection for the oncoming cold? What\'s the deal with that?
~Uneducated Freshman | | R: | Dear uneducated freshman:
The great majority of the students at the U of U have nothing good to do with their time, and so in this void in their lives they plot things against BYU. Due to the underdeveloped size of their creativity lobe, each year they come up with three ideas: 1) paint the Y red, 2) do something naked on BYU campus, or 3) defile the statues. In an attempt to preserve the statues, the grounds crew has kindly wrapped them to protect them from our ignorant neighbors in the north.
- the captain |
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| Why is there a statue of a naked indian on campus? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why do we have a statue of Massasoit on campus?
--Confused Coed | | A: | Dear Confused Coed,
Oh yeah. The Naked Indian. He was one cool guy. And a lot of BYU students are actually related to him. Cool eh?
One girl that was featured in the 2 December 2002 Daily Universe named Maria Sederberg said her mom's family, having been in America since the early 1600s, had a male ancestor marry a granddaughter of the Indian.
So now we like him.
Massasoit was born in the village of Pokanoket near present-day Bristol, Rhode Island, around 1590. Also known as Ousamequin, or "yellow feather" he was a chief of the Wampanoag tribe. Massasoit signed a peace treaty with the Pilgrims on March 22,1621. It was an agreement that was never broken, and the two groups enjoyed a peaceful coexistence. His friendship with the settlers helped keep the Wampanoags neutral in the Pequot War of 1636. Massasoit remained an ally of the Pilgrims until his death in 1661.
The statute, which is technically a copy made from the plaster mold Dalin used to cast the original Massasoit, has been a campus fixture for decades. The bronze, of the chief of the Wampanoag tribe, was commissioned to commemorate the 1920 tercentennial of the pilgrim landing in 1620 on Plymouth Rock and the original statue still resides in Massachusetts.
So basically he saved everyone from starving to death. Pretty cool eh?
To find out more information about Massasoit, go read his plaque.
- That One Girl
| | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why do we have a statue of Massasoit on campus?
--Confused Coed
| | R: | Dear Confused Coed,
Oh yeah. The Naked Indian. He was one cool guy. And a lot of BYU students are actually related to him. Cool eh?
One girl that was featured in the 2 December 2002 Daily Universe named Maria Sederberg said her mom's family, having been in America since the early 1600s, had a male ancestor marry a granddaughter of the Indian.
So now we like him.
Massasoit was born in the village of Pokanoket near present-day Bristol, Rhode Island, around 1590. Also known as Ousamequin, or "yellow feather" he was a chief of the Wampanoag tribe. Massasoit signed a peace treaty with the Pilgrims on March 22,1621. It was an agreement that was never broken, and the two groups enjoyed a peaceful coexistence. His friendship with the settlers helped keep the Wampanoags neutral in the Pequot War of 1636. Massasoit remained an ally of the Pilgrims until his death in 1661.
The statute, which is technically a copy made from the plaster mold Dalin used to cast the original Massasoit, has been a campus fixture for decades. The bronze, of the chief of the Wampanoag tribe, was commissioned to commemorate the 1920 tercentennial of the pilgrim landing in 1620 on Plymouth Rock and the original statue still resides in Massachusetts.
So basically he saved everyone from starving to death. Pretty cool eh?
To find out more information about Massasoit, go read his plaque.
- That One Girl
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Who is that Indian guy on campus on the southwest side of the library? And what relevance does he have to BYU?
- Chief Wahoo | | R: | Dear Chief Wahoo,
Wow, like I haven't heard this question before. You know, there's a nice little plaque over by the "Naked Indian" (and it's a term of endearment, don't worry) so if you're really interested you can find out that way. Otherwise search our archives on the net and find out for yourself! Wahoo!
- Scout
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Though it has been asked WHY the "naked indian" or Massasoit, is on BYU campus; and is even on the FAQ... The question has never been answered.
Sure, I've read the plaque, and I have learned who he is. I understand his accomplishments in aiding the early east-coast settlers. I understand that the artist who cast him, Cyrus E. Dallin, also made the Moroni statue. I know that the original plaster cast for this statue resided in the HFAC for several years, around 1976. But amidst all this, I still don't see the tie to BYU. Brigham and Maeser both had ties to the school; and most of the other sculptures on campus were done by students, or are featured as part of the Art Museums exhibits.
But who put the indian on the BYU campus, and why? Was the sculptor, Cyurs Dallin, somehow affiliated with BYU? Is it simply local Utah art, and nothing more? Was some early administrator particularly pilgrim-centric and wanted an homage to a pilgrim hero? Why not some other Dallin sculpture (like the angel moroni?) What gives, really?
- PDXBen | | R: | Dear PDF,
I found this quotation on the Utah Mayflower Society website:As early as 1911, Cyrus E. Dallin, a Utah resident, made a figure of Massasoit, the friendly chief of the Wampanoags who greeted the Pilgrim colonists at Plymouth Rock.... The heroic-sized bronze figure of Massasoit was finally erected at Plymouth, Massachusetts, in 1921 on a field boulder overlooking the sea. In 1922, Dallin presented the original plaster figure of this Massasoit to the State of Utah, and it was displayed in the rotunda of the Utah State Capitol in Salt Lake City. Later it was duplicated in bronze by the Nicholas Morgan Sr. Foundation and placed in the gardens in front of the capitol building. The plaster replica was then given to Brigham Young University at Provo, Utah. So it appears BYU got the plaster original third-hand from the state of Utah and decided to cast it themselves, because... hey, why not? Free art! Now the question is, who decided to send the plaster original to BYU, and who at BYU decided to erect the statue on campus?
-=Optimus Prime=- | | R: | Dear PDXBen-
My best guess: someone foresaw the genius that would be the Naked Indian Snowman and made sure that it could be here for our generation to enjoy.
Beautiful. Thank you, wise man of the past.
-Foreman |
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| Can you solve the three men, $30, and a hotel room problem? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Three guys decided to share the cost of a motel room. It was thirty dollars. Each man gave a ten to the hotel managaer and went up to their shared room. However, the manager realized he had overcharged them by five dollars. So he gave a five to the bellboy to return to them. The bellboy couldn't figure out how to split five dollars between three men. So he took two dollars, put them in his pocket and then gave each man one dollar back. This means that each man paid nine dollars for the room. Nine dollars times the three (three men) is twenty-seven. Now add the two dollars the bellboy took, and that is only twenty-nine. What happened to the other dollar?
-Not Good with Math | | A: | Dear Not Good with Math,
Ooh. Trixy question. The answer comes from a logical fallacy. It's this statement right here: "This means that each man paid nine dollars for the room." Where did the nine come from? It came from 30-3÷3=9. Why on earth would you subtract three, though? They were out FIVE. The math done properly should be 30-5÷3=8.33. Replace the nine with that number and the problem works out just fine (minus the penny we just lost in rounding down). Observe: This means that each man paid 8.33 dollars for the room. 8.33 dollars times the three (three men) is twenty-five. Now add the two dollars the bellboy took, plus the three dollars that was returned to them and that is thirty. There is no reason to add the $2 back in because it was in the $9 each of them paid. You could just add back in the $3 they got back.
--Brainy
| | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Three men go to a hotel to get a room. There are not enough rooms for each of them so they share one for thirty dollars. That night the bellhop comes, knocks on their door and says "you were overcharged five dollars for your room, so here is the five dollars." They give him two dollars for the tip and each got one dollar back. So if they each spent nine dollars on the room and gave two to the bellhop, where is the last dollar?
- way too much time on my hands | | R: | Dear timey,
This old riddle again? They actually didn't spend nine dollars each on the room. They actually each spent $25/3 (=$8.33 and 1/3 cent) on the room. Then each man gave 66 and 3/5 cents to the bellhop. That adds up to a grand total of $27 spent by three men for a stay in a seedy hotel.
- Brother Tom | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have a thought problem for y'all. There are three men who go to a hotel and ask for a room to stay in. The manager says yes, one room is thirty dollars, so it will be ten dollars each. Each man pays ten dollars and the bell boy takes them to their room. Later the manager recalls a special he has that evening that offers the rooms for twenty-five dollars a night. He gives the bell boy five dollars to return to the three men. The bell boy takes the money, but on the elevator he realizes that the five dollars will not be able to be divided properly between the three men. So, he puts two dollars in his pocket and gives each man one dollar in return. Thus, each man in the end paid nine dollars. However, a problem arises. If each man paid nine dollars then, it follows they paid 27 dollars together and bell boy only took 2 dollars; what happened to the 1 dollar missing?
That is the question: What happened to the one missing dollar from the thirty dollars?
- Person who always tells the problem, but can't remember the answer or if there even is an answer. | | R: | Dear Forgetful,
Ah, the infamous missing dollar problem! I have seen even math majors get stumped by this one, or even convince themselves of answers that are completely incorrect. The math tutor in me wants to make you figure it out on your own (try drawing a picture of what's happening, where the dollar is going). But if that fails and you're dying of curiosity, here's the answer. Fortunately, I discussed this problem with several fellow students just a few weeks ago. So here goes:
It's all in how you look at the situation. The men paid 30 dollars in the beginning. Of those 30 dollars, the manager kept 25, the bellboy kept 2, and the men got 3 back. Nothing is missing! The problem lies in assuming that the 3 dollar difference between 27 and 30 went to the bellboy when in fact it went right back to the men who paid it in the first place. The bellboy's 2 dollars are part of the 27 paid, not part of the 3 dollar difference.
-Leibniz
| | R: | Dear Person,
The problem lies in the phrase: "If each man paid nine dollars then, it follows they paid 27 dollars together AND the bell boy only took 2 dollars." The aforementioned "AND" implies that you should add the $27 and the $2 together, thus equaling $29, and causing quite a dilemna. When in reality you need to subtract the bellman's $2 from the $27 the men paid, leaving you with a total of $25 (the price of the room). When I was a board rookie I spent three sleepless nights figuring this out. Turns out it was already in the archives. Sigh.
-Thor | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Three guys decided to share the cost of a motel room. It was thirty dollars. Each man gave a ten to the hotel managaer and went up to their shared room. However, the manager realized he had overcharged them by five dollars. So he gave a five to the bellboy to return to them. The bellboy couldn't figure out how to split five dollars between three men. So he took two dollars, put them in his pocket and then gave each man one dollar back.
This means that each man paid nine dollars for the room. Nine dollars times the three (three men) is twenty-seven. Now add the two dollars the bellboy took, and that is only twenty-nine. What happened to the other dollar?
Not Good with Math | | R: | Dear Not Good with Math,
Ooh. Trixy question. The answer comes from a logical fallacy. It's this statement right here: "This means that each man paid nine dollars for the room." Where did the nine come from? It came from 30-3÷3=9. Why on earth would you subtract three, though? They were out FIVE. The math done properly should be 30-5÷3=8.33. Replace the nine with that number and the problem works out just fine (minus the penny we just lost in rounding down). Observe: This means that each man paid 8.33 dollars for the room. 8.33 dollars times the three (three men) is twenty-five. Now add the two dollars the bellboy took, plus the three dollars that was returned to them and that is thirty.
There is no reason to add the $2 back in because it was in the $9 each of them paid. You could just add back in the $3 they got back.
--Brainy | | R: | Dear Not Good with Math,
Also, take a look at <^4785>, and <^839>.
-Your Personalized 100 Hour Board Search Engine | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
ok so as far as the $30, 3 men and hotel room question goes, if each man paid $10 and it was $30, how did the manager overcharge them? 10x3= 30. That riddle made absolutely no sense.
- ridiculous | | R: | It's not the original charge that's an issue - it's the fact that the manager returned five dollars to them and the bellhop kept two of those dollars for himself. From there, things seem to get messy. But only seem to. If you read the FAQ, I think all the details are there.
-Leibniz | | R: | Dear Ridi,
Who says that he charged them on an individual basis? Thirty was just the number used. The room cost $30. At least the way I heard it, he charged them as a group, not as individuals, therefore, he very well could have overcharged the group for the room, not the individuals.
-CGNU Grad | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Your answer in the 3 men, 30 dollars and a hotel FAQ does not satisfy me. I'm sure you are correct, obviously, because money doesn't disappear. What remains unclear to me is why 9 is not a correct number to use, as that seems to be the difference between the answer working or not.
In the FAQ answer, it says "Where did the nine come from? It came from 30-3÷3=9." But really, that's not where I drew the nine from at all. I don't see how one would get that equation while trying to sort out the answer.
If each man paid 10 dollars, and the bellboy gave each man back one dollar, then they each have 9. Right?
Please explain, as I know I'm missing something.
- pretty bad when a FAQ answer just confuses you more | | R: | Dear pretty bad,
The FAQ references <^10545>, which is the simplest response. However, attached to the FAQ are <^11730>, <^839>, and <^4785>. If it is a FAQ, you'd think we would have other reference questions in the archives, right? Well, we do. There you go. One of our further explanations should be able to help you.
-Qupinthy | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I was reading over the FAQ and was confused by the question about the $30 hotel room problem.
Considering it's a FAQ I would have thought that someone that thinks like me would have mentioned something by now. I always understood the answer to be that it was a trick question, not a math question. I would be interested to find out where Brainy got the $8.33 math problem answer he/she gave.
Here's my view:
Each person really paid $9. They paid $10 at first and got one back. 10-1 = 9. The fallacy is that the $2 is added to the $25 the hotel has, not the $27 the men paid. Each man paid $27 dollars. The Manager has $25. Add that to the the bellboy's $2 (who also works for the hotel) and you have $27. 27 = 27 simple.
After way too much background, now the question. Is Brainy right or am I? If Brainy is right, how exactly does that $8.33 thing work? It doesn't make any real sense to me since each person had $10 and now has $1 so they really did pay $9 each.
- Confused by Over Complication? | | R: | Dear Confused,
I think both of you are right, but are thinking about the problem in different ways. The $8.33 comes in if you don't count the amount the men paid to the bellboy. Basically, the men paid $25 total to the hotel manager and $2 to the bellboy. Or, each man paid $25 / 3 = $8.33 to the hotel manager and $2 / 3 = $0.67 to the bellboy, if you want to think about it that way. So, each man paid $9 total for the hotel room, like you said.
Quandary | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
When I was younger, I read a book called Belle Prater's Boy. There was a riddle in it that stumped me and has ever since. Can you figure it out? Here it is:
There were three men who went to a hotel in New York City. They were charged thirty dollars to sleep one night in a hotel room. Each man paid his ten dollars, which makes thirty dollars. They went up to their room which had three beds. After that, the hotel manager though he might have overcharged the men. He took five one-dollar bills out of his money box and told an errand boy to take the money to the three gentlemen. As the boy goes, he can see no way to divide the five ones evenly among the three men, so he sticks two of them in his pocket. Then he gave each man one dollar apiece. That means each man paid nine dollars for his room, right? The boy has two dollars in his pocket. This makes 29 dollars. Where's the other dollar?
- stumped | | R: | Dear stumpy,
You oughta check out the Board FAQs. You aren't the first to ask.
Nike
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
3 men checked into a hotel, where the rent for one night was $30. So they each paid $10 and were given a key. The manager then discovered he had overcharged them by $5; the rent was only $25. He sent a bell-boy with $5 to the three men. On the way, the bellboy decided to keep $2, since $5 could not be divided between 3 men. He arrived at the room and gave each man $1. So each of the three men paid $9. 9x3= 27, and there was $2 in the bellboy's pocket. Where is the other dollar?
- Anonymous | | R: | Dear someone,
Had you done your math correctly, you would know. Here is the proper way to sum the money: $27 paid by customers = $25 to manager + $2 to bellboy.
- La Almeja
| | R: | Dear you,
The average mind of a mere mortal says: 3 guys x $9 per guy = $27. Then you take the 2 dollars in the bellman's pocket, and add them to the $27. $27 + $2 = $29 right? Well that's where you're wrong. Allow me to take you on a journey into the omniscient world of "The Board." So you have $27 from the guys. Instead of ADDING the 2 dollars in the bellman's pocket, you SUBTRACT them. 27-2= $25. The exact amount the hotel received. So the guys paid $30 in the beginning. They got $3 back, the bellman took $2, and the hotel kept $25. 3+2+25= bingo, $30.
Come on, if you're going to fool the board, you're gonna have to do better than that. :)
-THOR
| | R: | Dear Easily Confused,
You're looking at it wrong. The price was $25. Plus $2 that the bell boy took, and that equals $27. And that's the 9 x 3. Plus the $3 that they got back. Add it all up, it's $30 dollars. The question is phrased weird on purpose.
- Benvolio
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Three friends go to a hotel. They are charged $30 for the night, so each person pays $10. The front desk guy realizes that he charged them $5 too much, so he gives the bellhop $5 and tells him to return it to them. The bellhop takes the money to their room. He gives a dollar to each of them, and keeps $2 for the tip. So now, each of the three guests payed $9 for the room instead of $10. However, when you multiply $9 by 3 guests, you get a total of $27. The bellhop has two more dollars, so the total amount of money involved is $29. What happened to the 30th dollar? Perhaps the answer is obvious to the all-knowing board, but please help, I've been thinking about this for too long. Thanks,
--Mook | | R: |
Dear Mook,
This classic problem has been used to torment many a person who does not know how to keep track of what. $25 are in the hotel cash register, $3 have been returned to the guests, and $2 are in the bellhop's hands. $25 + $3 + $2 = $30, and all the money is accounted for. The problem comes from the mindset people have when looking at this problem. They forget that the guests were ultimately not charged $30, but $25. If the guests have paid $27, that means they have overpaid by $2, not underpaid by $3. Would it have helped to think of it as just one guy and not three? Either way, I hope this helps.
--Der Berliner
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| What is a Werf? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How did you come up with "werf"? (instead of say, schmitzel.) What will it take before we can get it in the dictionary?
- The Bandersnatch | | A: | Dear Bandersnatch,
To butcher it, "werf" is a term to replace he/she or his/her in writing, concocted by the workers at IS (Independent Study).
......................
Aha! I knew there was a post about this.
"2--Your teacher would definitely question the legitimacy of "werf." And rightly so. "Werf," though it would be a wonderful addition to the English language, is not at all a good thing to use in your English papers. In fact, "werf" originated at my place of employment. You can find references to "werf" in only one place that I am aware of--the BYU Independent Study PROOF 101 manual. In lesson 6 (page 25), "werf" is defined as follows: Werf is an Independent Study colloquialism meaning he or she and him or her. Such a convenient word. Maybe if we can get it into print five times in the real world, we can get it into dictionaries. Let us all make that our goal. Until then, do not use it in any English paper that you wish to be taken seriously."
~Eowyn, who has abandoned her editing prowess in favor of laziness
AND:
Here's the scoop. I asked around the office until I located a longtime employee, whom we shall refer to as "Shan-Shan," who actually worked with the woman whose name is on our training manuals (which are, as you'll recall from the archives, the source for "werf"). Shan-Shan provided me with Wendy's (Wendy = writer of the manual) email address. I dropped Wendy a line, and today she emailed me back. Here's some of what she told me:
I forgot completely about our use of werf. It was one of those things we proofreaders came up with to shortcut our constant writing of "he or she."
To tell you the truth, I can't remember if I came up with it, or if it was Jessica (the original
author of the editor training manuals). Lucky for us it was etymologically correct.
Anyway, we at IS always had high hopes of it landing in a dictionary so we could stake our claims to fame. Perhaps the 100-hour board is even better.
--------------------------------
So, it sounds as though the OE coolness of werf was entirely accidental. But still cool. I encourage you to use werf in daily conversation (not in your term papers or job applications, though), and we'll see if we can't get it into a dictionary someday. :)
Cheers,
Ambrosia
*Thanks to Wendy for her help with this bit of IS history. | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
So am I right in assuming that the Independent Study people who came up with "werf" were also up on their Old English language skills and were combining the Old English word for "man" ("wer")with the Old English word for woman ("wif")?
If so, very esoterically clever of them. I'm impressed.
- Old English Major | | R: | Dear OEM,
Aged person who studied/ies English or person who studies Old English? Either way, props on your knowledge of OE.
Here's the scoop. I asked around the office until I located a longtime employee, whom we shall refer to as "Shan-Shan," who actually worked with the woman whose name is on our training manuals (which are, as you'll recall from the archives, the source for "werf"). Shan-Shan provided me with Wendy's (Wendy = writer of the manual) email address. I dropped Wendy a line, and today she emailed me back. Here's some of what she told me:
I forgot completely about our use of werf. It was one of those things we proofreaders came up with to shortcut our constant writing of "he or she."
To tell you the truth, I can't remember if I came up with it, or if it was Jessica (the original
author of the editor training manuals). Lucky for us it was etymologically correct.
Anyway, we at IS always had high hopes of it landing in a dictionary so we could stake our claims to fame. Perhaps the 100-hour board is even better.
--------------------------------
So, it sounds as though the OE coolness of werf was entirely accidental. But still cool. I encourage you to use werf in daily conversation (not in your term papers or job applications, though), and we'll see if we can't get it into a dictionary someday. :)
Cheers,
Ambrosia
*Thanks to Wendy for her help with this bit of IS history.
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why do some of the writers use the word "werf"? I'm pretty sure I know how it's being used, but why? Who started it? I searched for it on the internet and I came up with an astronomer in the Netherlands, the Water Environment Research Foundation, and Aardewerkbedrijf Henk van der Werf, who makes really cool teapots. What's the story?
TidBit
President Elect, Aardewerkbedrijf Fan Club | | R: | Dear TidBit,
Here's the story of werf: <^7416>
- The Excavator | | R: | Dear TidBit,
That discussion was a little before my day, but let me just say how cool I think the term "werf" is. In a major as politically correct as mine (Sociology) we are ALWAYS accidentally insulting people by using the terms "he" or "she" when what we really mean is "a hypothetical person who could be either a he or a she." I'm telling you, it's high time someone came up with a term like "werf."
- FHSS | | R: | Dear TidBit,
Personally, I'm hoping that if we use "werf" enough, it'll eventually spread throughout society and become a real word (we all know we need it). It'll be just like "frindle"... you do know what a frindle is, don't you? It's that thing you write with that has ink in it.
- Piquant | | R: | Dear TidBit,
I am a werf. It's convenient when I want to tell a story, but do so ambiguously. It's also fun to say.
-Uffish Thought | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What is a werf?
- Sorry I haven't kept up with the board | | R: | Yo, it's no prob.
It's a word that is shorter for him or her.
"Give werf the time of day" means "Give him or her the time of day." Ain't that great?
-Toasteroven, beat y'all to it | | R: | Dear Toasteroven,
You really did. Thanks. I get to not do it, this time!
-Uffish Thought | | R: | Dear Sorry I haven't kept up with the Board,
That's okay, we're here to help.
- Conrad | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Could you outline the basic rules for using "werf", and maybe give some good examples of how to do so. Its an awesome word and I want to use it more, but I always end up sounding like an idiot when I do.
- ?!?!? | | R: | Dear ?!?!?,
"Werf" was created to replace the more cumbersome "he or she" and, as such, can be used anywhere the third person singular pronoun would be used. Eg. "Who is this reader and why is werf so upset?"
Most unusually, the pronoun does not decline in its object form, so "werf" can also be used to replace "him or her." Eg. "I don't think anyone here knows werf in RL."
The possessive form of "werf" is "werf's" (or possibly "werfs"). It replaces "his or her." Eg. "What is werf's problem?"
The werfish form of "his or hers" (possessive noun as opposed to possessive adjective) is unclear. The correct form may be "werfs," but the usage has not yet settled down. "Werfself" may also be used as a substitution for "himself" or "herself." Eg. "If every reader would search the archives for werfself, werf would save the writers a lot of time."
As a fairly new addition to the English language, the usage of "werf" is still in flux, although I think the above outlined rules are becoming fairly concrete. Additional, non-standard uses of werf include using it as a general term for people ("Greetings, werfs!") and also as a mild expletive or interjection ("What the . . . werf?").
Where literary style is generally concerned: if Ambrosia does it, it's kosher.
- Katya | | R: | Dear Questioner,
I love it, I love it, I love it. Three cheers for the spreading of Independent Study subcultural quirks.
I'm impressed. Katya has exactly nailed it. (And thanks for the good word.) The one detail I would clarify: werf's, not werfs. "Werfs" may eventually take noun status meaning "those people of unknown gender" (it's been used that way before), but that seems superfluous to me. "People" is much simpler for that.
Anyway, mad snaps to you for incorporating werf into your vocabulary. Should anyone question your use of the word, please pass the good word along. Explain to werf that "werf" is the efficient, time-saving solution to the problem created in a politically correct society that uses a language devoid of a suitable gender-neutral, third-person singular personal pronoun.
Merry Christmas.
--Ambrosia
*p.s. For the etymology of "werf," see <^7416> | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What the heck does "werf" mean exactly, and where does the word come from? From context, I have some idea of its meaning, but all of my (humble) attempts to research it further have failed. All the web searches I've tried have come up with useless information about the Water Environment Research Foundation and a guy named Van De Werf.
- What the werf? | | R: | Dear What the...
Well search no more! All doubts concerning the word "Werf" been extensively addressed in our FAQ.
A bunch of stuff should be attached to this answer, hopefully it will open your eyes of understanding concerning werfs.
That is all.
Horatio... a werf. | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have been asked to speak on the topic of literacy for our ward's September Enrichment night. Specifically, they want me to speak on the classics and adult literature. Could you direct me to talks, articles, or books that may be helpful in preparing some remarks? I've already been directed to Van C. Gessel's talk "The 'Welding Link' of Culture", which was extremely helpful. Any other suggestions?
Liter Lover | | R: | Dear Liter Lover,
Harvey B. Black, "A House of Learning," Ensign, Sept. 1983, 23
John H. Vandenberg, "The Key to Learning," New Era, Sept. 1976, 5
A great resource is http://lds.org -- just click "search" in the upper-right corner and try things like "literacy," "learning," "education" and others.
::: Latro ::: | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What's "werf"?
DNH
| | R: | Dear DNH,
We'll forgive you on this one, because I'm sure you are new. But, this falls into the category of easily searchable. In fact, it is listed in our Frequently Asked Questions immediately to your left.
We continue to invite you to look around the site before asking questions. We have fielded about 20,000 questions this year alone, so there are answers to many questions in our archives.
I'm not saying that we're not willing to answer your questions... but I'm sure you'd love to have the answer in less than 100 hours if it is available.
That is all.
Horatio | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What on earth is a "werf"?
- Short Blonde One | | R: | Dear short blonde one,
Congratulations. You win a free trip to the FAQ.
All that, and it only cost you 100 hours.
- Optimistic. | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I don't mean to sound dumb but i've noticed people are refering to themselves as a "werf". What the heck is a "werf"?
- Smee | | R: | What Ho Smee!
A werf, is in fact a perjoritive used by a small tribe from the darkest jungles of New Guinea. Loosely translated it references the distinctive stains left on the lips and teeth of habitual Betel nut chewers.
Not exactly pretty.
But, because this is a condition not limited by caste or gender, the word has been borrowed (some would say co-opted) into English, as a way of denoting someone who is not limited by Earthly restraints - a demiurge, if you will, much like William Blake's Urizen.
Of course, this begs you to ask another question. If it has such a small application, why is it used so often by board writers?
Perhaps not all is what it seems.
Perhaps you can use, what my elementary school teachers called 'Context Clues,' to answer your own question?
Perhaps a quick search through the archives would yield still more enlightenment?
Or even a trip to our handy-dandy 'Frequently Asked Questions' page?
The choice is yours! Impress your friends and be the first on your block to change base-matter into gold as you unlock the secrets of the Werf! Collect all four, they taste great with Ranch dressing or Fry sauce.
- Bertie
| | R: | Dear,
Heh, heh. You werf!
-Uffish Thought | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What does werf mean? I've heard you guys say it a lot.
- Kissables | | R: | Dear Kissables
There is a FAQ about this very subject. I will give a summary answer here, but the full FAQ can be found here (or by clicking the "Frequently Asked Questions" button on the left side of the Board web page). So what is a werf you ask? To quote from the FAQ "'werf' is a term to replace he/she or his/her in writing, concocted by the workers at IS (Independent Study)." It's a gender neutral form of he/she, and we Board writers hope for the day it is in the vernacular.
-Humble Master | | R: | Dear Kissables,
It should be noted that 'werf' is to be used in situations where using 'one' is impractical. For example, you cannot say "When a customer comes to the door, ask one for one's identification." You can, however, say "When a customer comes to the door, ask werf for werf's identification."
'Werf' denotes a specific individual of unspecified gender, while 'one' simply represents any generic individual.
-Yellow | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How does werf pronounce 'werf'? I always read it 'wurrf', but I noticed that it possibly came from the Old English. Is it then, 'wehrf' or 'wayrf' or even 'vehrf'? I'm pretty sure OE didn't have the W as a V pronunciation rule like German, but we are Germanic as a language. I know it's not some nailed down word, but what do you think?
With all due respect,
~Conversational Werfist | | R: | Dear Conversational,
"Werf" is a relatively new word in the English language, having been coined within the past decade by an employee of BYU Independent Study. As such, it is pronounced "wurrf" (roughly).
If "werf" were Old English, I'm thinking it would have been pronounced "wayrf," roughly. (My Old English-speaking source informs me that "w" was prounounced /w/, not /v/.)
- Katya | | R: | Dear Conversational,
Well, the problem here is that werf, by very definition, is of indeterminate gender. So werf might say it in a high-pitched, giggly, Minnie-mouse-esque sort of way, or a rumbling, James-Earl-Jones-as-Darth-Vader sort of way. That's the thing about quantum physics; you just never can tell. You'll just have to find werf yourself and ask.
(Incidentally, was Schrödinger's gender indeterminate as well?)
-Yellow
P.S. I really wrote all that just to coin the phrase "Schrödinger's Gender." | | R: | Dear Conversational Werfist~
In spoken English, I always pronounce it "they, er, he or she, uh, it? I hate English!" by which point I've usually forgotten what it was I was talking about that called for the third-person indeterminate gender.
~Hobbes | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have recently joined the ranks of the 100 hour board addicts and have become enamored with the term werf. In an attempt to use it in my everyday language I have come up with a question. I know that werf means he/him/his/she/her/hers, but how would you use it in terms of himself/herself? Werf-self?
The Word Nerd | | R: | Dear Word Nerd~
I'm glad you share my love of this word. You're close, but let me go ahead and put it in all the forms in its "correct" declination (we'll use "he" as a template):
he - werf
him - werf
his - werf's
himself - werfself
Have writers made exceptions to these? Likely yes, but this is the grammatical system that makes the most sense to me.
~Hobbes | | R: | Dear Word Nerd,
Also, note that in its original usage, werf was intended only to be a pronoun meaning a specific single person of non-specified gender. It was intended to be used in place of the oft-used they when referring to a single person, such as "I wanted a lollipop from the bank teller, but they/werf wouldn't give it to me." Many English speakers feel frustration at the use of the word "they" in such a situation, since "they" is understood to be a plural. Hence, "werf" was born.
What this means, dear reader, is that if you're trying to use the word as it was originally intended, you should avoid using it in situations when you refer to an undetermined person of non-specified gender, as in "Do you think when werf is in a relationship quickly heading towards engagement status that werf should disclose past morality issues with werf's significant other?" (from <^32495>). Such a meaning is usually better served by the already-established pronoun "One."
Of course, I'm being somewhat prescriptivist here, whereas most linguists take a descriptivist approach. I just want to make sure that the origins are clear, so that word nerds such as yourself can have accurate information.
-Yellow | | R: | Dear Yellow,
Of course, I'm being somewhat prescriptivist here, whereas most linguists take a descriptivist approach.
I guess that means I need to weigh in as the resident hippie descriptivist.
The problem with "werf" is that it's awkward and not widely used, so there's no body of native speakers whose natural usage we can observe and describe. Under the circumstances, descriptivism doesn't really apply, so prescribe away!
- Katya |
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| Why doesn't the Board post on Sundays? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Does the board post on Sundays? I know that I could research this one quite easily by looking at the dates on the archives, but I was just wondering do you have a policy on this?
- thinks you should | | A: | Dear thinks you should,
It probably has a few times in the past, but as of late it hasn’t. This is because we’ve lately asked the man-eating worms in the underground tunnels of campus to burrow into the computer lab in the Talmage building and post the answers for us. This lab isn’t open on Sundays and as a result the worms don’t bother even going there to try. Breaking and entering isn’t as much fun. So they take their day of rest just like most other people do on Sundays; they visit one another and get together for dessert after their Sunday meal is over. They enjoy Sundays as much as the next person. In the future we might program the computers to post postings on Sundays automatically if there is something to post, but in the meantime you’ll just have to read the archives.
- The Queen of Everything, who is nice to the man-eating worms and in return the worms like her too and really don’t eat humans unless the worms are threatened by freshmen | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Hey I really get sad when the board doesn't post on Sundays. I realize that it would be unfair to ask you to work so as to provide entertainment to us on the Sabbath, but I really miss it! Maybe you could post two times on Saturday, once in the early morning, and then at 11:55pm so on Sunday no one has to work and we can still read. I don't think it's breaking the sabbath to read the 100 hr board. People read the newspaper on Sundays. You know what I'm saying? So anyways I really love you guys.
- in love and dont care who knows it | | R: | Dear iladcwki,
Sorry, it's just our policy. If you'd like, though you could split up Saturday's post and read half in the morning, and half on Sunday, just like you want us to do for you. Or you could enjoy Monday's doubly long post. You could join the board, and watch questions as they come in. But whatever you do won't alter what we do. This is what we decided, long, long ago. And we really love you, too. And we don't care who knows it.
-Uffish Thought | | R: | Dear lover,
I agree with you. It's not like we don't answer on Sundays. I think the reason we weren't posting on Sundays was because of the actual physical Board in the Wilk, and we didn't want to have to go up there every Sunday to change it, and also we couldn't get in to print it out on that day. Now that we've outgrown that Board, though, I don't see any reason to keep up the old practice. That's not my decision, though. Maybe if you got a petition going or something....
--Clockwork |
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| What can you tell me about BYU Insurance? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have questions about BYU Health Insurance. Where can I look to find the answers?
- BYU Health | | A: | Dear BYU Health,
Start by checking the archives in Board questions 2691, 1347, 7683, and 14999.
-The Board Junkie | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have BYU health insurance. How do I get discounted dentistry?
- poor kid with bad teeth | | R: | Dear poor kid with bad teeth,
The following is taken from the BYU web site:
"Individuals covered by the BYU Student Health Plan can use our Discounted Services Program to save money on dental, eyewear, contact lenses, chiropractic, LASIK and health club memberships. It is important to understand that the Discounted Services Program is not insurance. The Program simply allows individuals covered by the BYU Student Health Plan the ability to purchase services directly from providers at what amounts to "wholesale" prices. Savings can be as high as 50%.
Using the program is simple. Just select a contracted provider, and pay the provider at the time of your visit for the services received. Make sure to tell the provider's office that you are a member of the BYU Student Health Plan when you make the appointment, and bring your student ID and DMBA membership cards with you."
If you want a list of the prices, go to http://basixstudent.com/byu/dental.html#dental%20fee%20schedule and scroll down.
Good luck!
-poor kid with good teeth
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
does byu insurance cover anything besides general medical expenses that cost under twenty-five dollars? will a visit to the eye doctor be covered? dentist? ear nose and throat doctor? medical massage therapy? anything?
- got a heartache 'cause latro isn't mine | | R: | Dear you don't know what you're missing,
BYU insurance is actually run by DMBA, or Deseret Mutual Benefit Administrators. It's what's known as a PPO, or Preferred Provider Organization. They contract with CPAAD, or care providers at a discount. Ok, there's no such thing as CPAAD. But, BYU insurance has a list of health care providers, like doctors and dentists, and when you go to the providers, they give you a discount because you are a member.
With DMBA, things like dentistry and optometry aren't really covered. However, because you're a member, you can get a discount, kind of like buying at wholesale prices. For other things like doctor's visits or specialists, if they're on the "list" then you only have to pay 20% of the cost for the services. DMBA pays for 80% of it. If they're not on the list, you're stuck with 50% of the costs, and DMBA pays for the rest.
If you want to get more specific about what's covered, go to the BYU Student Health Plan booklet online at:
http://www.dmba.com/nsc/handbooks/student/hbbyu2003.pdf
PB&J
| | R: | Dear Achy Breaky,
DMBA is the best insurance company in the world, as long as you choose to get hurt from Monday-Friday, 9:00-5:00 in Provo, UT. Anywhere else, and their service is enough to turn even a healthy stomach. Did you pay your insurance premium at the beginning of the semester? Of course you did. BYU forces you to. They steal it right out of your Pell Grant if you get one. How many of you have insurance cards? Yeah, that's right. You don't. You paid them hundreds of dollars, and you have absolutely NO proof that you have insurance. No big deal right? You can go to the BYU health center (during the aforementioned hours), and they'll take care of you. But try breaking your leg, or getting sick while out of state. Do you know what it's like to be violently ill in downtown St. Louis, only to get laughed out of the E.R. when they ask for proof of insurance, and you tell them; "Well, I don't really have proof, but I uhh, I go to BYU." DMBA tried to cheat me out of hundreds of dollars in medical bills because I happened to break my leg when they were "closed for the day." 30,000 BYU students, each paying hundreds of dollars to them, and they can't afford to keep one lousy person there on the weekends to tell the hospital you're insured?!! I just signed up with a different company, because as soon as I got married, they doubled my premium and told me I had to have maternity insurance. That's right, ME, a guy, maternity insurance. Not for my wife (she's insured somewhere else), not for our family, but for ME. Chance of ME getting pregnant: Approximately 0.0% And they doubled my premium for maternity coverage. Oh well, at least I'm not bitter.
-Thor | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why do I pay a significantly higher premium to the BYU health people for required health insurance now that I'm married? (I'm male and therefore unlikely to become pregnant; my wife, not a BYU student, is covered by insurance from her employer) What's the story?
- Newlywed | | R: | Dear Newlywed,
Because you are married you are supporting an entire family now, therefore there is a higher value placed on your life/health/etc. The BYU Heath Insurance program is designed for married couples, and the extra premium is because there is a possibility that your family will become pregnant, therefore incurring extra costs for the insurance company.
I would reccomend trying to put both you and your wife under the same plan. Try contacting your wife's employer to see about the cost of adding a spouse to her plan.
Welcome to the wild and wonderful world of insurance. If you're married, you're going to pay more... just becuase you have a higher potential to cost them more.
Good luck playing the game... the insurance game that is.
That is all.
Horatio | | R: | Dear Newlywed,
Just be glad your wife is covered by her employer. If we were just insuring me, it would be the $268 or whatever, but because we want him to be insured as well and he's not a student, it's almost $900 for the both of us. Grr. And married people have better health than single people, too!
- FCSM | | R: | Dear Newlywed,
Title IX. The company BYU uses to provide student health care feels that it's wrong to discriminate based on gender. Consequently, your premium just doubled because YOU now have maternity coverage. That's right, YOU. Not your wife, not your family, YOU. Chances of you getting pregnant: +/- 0.00% Additional premium markup for your maternity coverage: +/- 100%. Even though your premium is probably still around $250/ semester, I'd go with a different insurance carrier. BYU's provider is hands down the worst company I've ever dealt with (and I deal with dozens of insurance companies each day). Are they even giving out proof of insurance cards yet? Because they weren't when I was there. I once had to wait in an ER for 6 hours with all the uninsured welfare patients because I couldn't prove I had insurance. Oh, and if you ever get sick/injured outside of Provo, after the hours of M-F 9:00-5:00, you're completely screwed. See if you can't get on with your wife's plan, or just get your own coverage. Good luck.
-Thor | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
My wife and I are looking at having a baby in July next year, and will be attending BYU. Insurance is looking ugly though - the DMBA website says that we'll have to be signed on for maternity coverage for both semesters (conception will have to be in October - November) if we want maternity coverage at all, and maternity coverage is 2100/semester. The good thing is that my summer employer has extremely good benefits for our last trimester, but won't cover prenatal care while I'm at school. What are my options? Can we use medicaid to get prenatal care while in Provo? Can we get prenatal care starting in January if we don't sign on for maternity insurance Fall Semester? Things are looking pretty pricey as a poor grad student......
- Vaugely freaked but happy.... | | R: | Dear Freaked but Happy,
So you're planning on becoming a Dad, huh? First off congrats on such a fun and exciting decision. I have some information for you on insurance. Thankfully, not only have I done the student pregnancy thing, but I'm also a licensed insurance broker in Utah, so I can give you all I've got.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for choosing to be wise BEFORE you get pregnant. Lots of people think about expenses after they conceive, and then they have a pre-existing condition and really mess themselves up. Having a baby is not only expensive, but it's a guessing game. You never know when you'll have problems in the pregnancy or in the birth. My mother, for instance had 3/4 children just fine - natural births, easy in and out of the hospital. I, on the other hand was on bed rest for 2 months, had a c-section with complications and both me and my new baby had to spend a full week in the hospital before we could go home. You just never know! (Price difference: My mother would have been from $5-7,000 had she given birth today, Baby Grape cost a total of $28,000.)
I think I have good news for you. As long as your wife has student health insurance through DMBA (BYU's Student Health Plan) she automatically has maternity coverage at NO EXTRA COST! It only costs extra if your wife is NOT a student. (Even then, it's not as much as you reported.) Once she is on the plan, your wife is covered for all prenatal and hospital care at 80% after co-pays. (I'm going to assume you know the basics to insurance lingo, co-pays, deductibles, premiums, etc.) Once you have your baby, he/she can be added to your student health plan as well, however I will warn you that your per-semester premiums will go up. Also, it would be wise to take a quick trip to the Student Health Center, go to the second floor "Insurance information" and get the pink, maternity sheet. It will walk you through everything you'll need to do and explain how coverages work. Also, if you have any other questions you can call 422-2771. Push 3 when you hear a voice and then you can talk to someone specifically who specializes in DMBA student coverages. (They are VERY helpful people!)
As for Medicade, if you qualify for coverage they will pay the remaining 20% of your expenses from the pregnancy. (They will act as a secondary insurance) However, it sounds like you have a pretty good job lined up. If this is the case, good luck getting coverage. You have to be pretty low income to qualify. They not only consider your income, but any assets you have. For instance, if you own your car, have a life insurance policy, a retirement plan, savings account, checking account, investments of any kind, etc. ANYTHING you have that is worth anything counts against you. For qualification information go to: www.health.utah.gov and follow the links.
Much more attainable is CHIP coverage for your little one. This is the state sponsored child health insurance program. You have to wait for an open enrollment period, and you can apply when pregnant. For qualification information go to: www.utahchip.org and remember as you look, that once your wife is pregnant, you qualify as a family of 3. Remember with CHIP, you only have one chance to apply! If you miss an open enrollment while your wife is pregnant and then put the baby on your student health insurance, you won't be able to get CHIP! Check up and stay up on when open enrollment is!
Your summer job sounds like they will cover some expenses after a certain period. However, you need to check and see if your wife is pregnant before coverages start will affect your plans. At that point she may have a "pre-existing condition" that would exclude her from coverage at all. I would advise talking to someone in person. If it does not exclude her, it may cover the additional 20% you'd be left with. However, be careful of annual deductibles and premium expenses. (It may not be worth it.)
The last thing I'll say before I go is just a little "motherly" note about conceiving. The chance of you having the baby the exact month you want to (July) is very, very slim. Especially for your first. If July is the ONLY month that you can have a baby, you may want to consider waiting until you have a more open window. It only took us 3 months of trying, but it has taken several of my friends over a year using all the current methods and prediction tools. Everyone is different, and it may take longer than you think.
Best of luck to you both!
Love,
Ma Grape | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Can I get prescriptions filled/see a doctor during the Spring/Summer if I'm not enrolled during those terms?
- junior in the fall | | R: | Dear junior,
If you are on the BYU student health insurance you certainly can. What you may not know is that you are required to pay for BYU student health insurance even though you aren't in classes.
BYU requires students to maintain adequate medical insurance coverage for the entire period of their enrollment at BYU. Even though you aren't taking classes during Spring/Summer, you are still enrolled with the University as a continuing student, necessitating your remaining insured. So, since you are paying for the insurance even though you aren't in classes, you certainly can make use of that insurance and the Health Center.
-Pa Grape | | Q: | Dear Ma Grape,
I was hoping that you could help me with a health insurance question. My husband and I are finishing school in June (officially graduating in Aug.) and are having a hard time swallowing the expense of keeping the BYU insurance until the insurance from my husband's job kicks in. We will start looking for a job when we move back east at the end of June. We have the current student rate through Aug, but after that the premiums go through the roof. Assuming it takes about a month to get a job, and then counting the waiting period of about three months for benefits to kick in, that puts us paying like $1000 a month for at least three months for continued coverage for my husband and I and our daughter. I simply cannot afford that. What are our options? Can we get coverage cheaper elsewhere? I know that medicaid can help but we will be moving to a different state and they aren't likely to give us coverage when they review my husband's pay stubs once he gets a job. My second concern is that if I get pregnant between now and the time we get insurance through his job, will I still have to pay to keep BYU insurance for myself because the new insurnce will consider my pregnancy a pre-existing condition. Is this true? I'm feeling quite overwhelmed by the prospect of having to spend so much money. Thank you so much for answering this for me.
- KNQD | | R: | Dear KNQD,
I sympathize with you and your situation. You have no idea how many times I've had to try and help people figure out a game plan. First, I'd love to do more but without knowing what state you're moving to, I can't give you any specifics. If you'd like, you can email me at grapefamily (at) gmail.com and give me some specifics on where you're going and your husband's health plan and I'll be more able to help you further.
The problem with insurance is that each state has its own laws and regulations. These can change drastically from state to state. For instance, in the State of Idaho just barely north of us pregnancy by law is NOT a pre-existing condition. However, I believe it is the only state where that is the case. Never, never, never simply assume anything is or is not a pre-existing condition!
I have some good news on your student health insurance. You would be correct about it being around $1,000/month if only one of you were a student. However, because BOTH you and your spouse are students graduating at the same time there is a loop hole. If you switch the insurance to your name (you, being the female) maternity is automatically included in your extension coverages. Total, for you, your husband, your daughter and maternity would run $698/month. Keep in mind that these are the 2004-2005 rates. Because you are extending starting in September, 2005-2006 rates will apply. My source at the Student Health Center says to expect a 10% increase on that quote which would be about $767/month. The actual rates were supposed to already available but have gotten hung up in final approval. Call the Student Health Center in another week or two for exact rates.
If you do get pregnant right off the bat, you may be correct about having to continue payments through to the birth. That would be a best case scenario. Worst case scenario is that you get pregnant one month into that 9 month extension and are dropped from DMBA right before delivering (that may differ by state)! Pre-existing conditions can really mess you up. Unfortunately, they are there to protect the insurance companies, not you. You are very wise to be looking into them so thoroughly.
You could look at Medicade, however you have some hurdles to jump there. First off, the qualifiers for obtaining Medicade coverage once again differ by state. You would have to apply through the state you will be moving into. One of the basic and universal requirements for Medicade coverage is proving residency in that state. That means that you would have to wait until you have an apartment/home and have parked for a certain amount of time. That time frame can differ from as soon as you get your first personalized utility bill to up to 6 months. Then, they will require proof of past income for the last "x" number of months. If you choose to go this route, I sincerely hope you are not making much right now. Then, if you cover that, you must then report all changes in income or situation within 10 days of that change, in which case you'll be dumped when your husband starts working and if you are pregnant you'll have... a pre-existing condition.
That being said, if you still don't like the new BYU rates, here are my suggestions:
Look for coverage elsewhere.
There are a number of insurance companies that offer independent health insurance for former students. They are commonly offered for any space of time you wish to have it (as little as 1 month - several years) and sometimes offer discounts if you obtain it as a current student going into graduation.
Family policies are also offered to cover your little one and maternity coverage can also be purchased. I'm not saying it will be cheap, but it may be less than your current option and it will cover you during your relocation. I sold a ton of such insurance to BYU graduates. If you are interested I'd refer you to the agent I worked under at State Farm, Lance Wilson 373-4099. He can get you quotes from the state you are moving to, help you work out options and get you set up. He's willing to sit with you for as long as it takes to make sure you're taken care of. I like and trust him a great deal.
Don't be choosy, get the basics.
For this short space of time, don't spend a lot on fancy coverage. Get the essential basics: Emergency Care (incase of an accident or dangerous illness) and Maternity Coverage (if that's a real priority). If you have a daily prescription that must be taken, then make sure you have coverage. Otherwise, forego for that short period and don't worry about dental or vision.
Consider seriously your priorities.
Maternity coverage is expensive no matter where you go. Why? Because having a baby is expensive. The insurance company wants to recoup as much of their losses through your premiums as they can. Consider whether or not 3 months of sex is worth $3-4,000 in insurance premiums or potentially more if you do get pregnant. Is it worth a loan or going broke? If it is, then you have your answer. If not, perhaps a short period of abstinence might be the best solution. Or, you could hedge your bets by doubling or even tripling your birth control (depending on your personal stance on such things). An Oral contraceptive combined with condoms and avoidance of the ten days where you are most fertile is one available option.
Assume NOTHING.
When it comes to insurance, call and talk to a live person and get exact details. Even with the quotes I gave you for student coverage, you still need to call and confirm the new rates. Do NOT rely on the internet for information and quotes, talk to a live person you can explain your situation to. If they say something is covered or not considered a pre-existing condition, get it in writing. When it comes to insurance there is no grey area. Everything is by the book and everything is government regulated. Companies and agents can't smudge lines for you or "give you a break", so make sure you have it in writing and make sure you understand what that writing says.
I wish you the very best of luck! Don't put this off if you can help it. The sooner you know, the more options you will still have. Insurance is often time dependent (ie: for some insurance plans you will need to be a student for 30-60 days to obtain the student discount).
Like I said, email me, and we can look at details. I'd be happy to help you as much as I possibly can. I wish I had good news for you right now, but perhaps we can find some together.
Love,
Ma Grape | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Since BYU requires all full time students to have insurance, will the Student Health Plan accept all students, regardless of prior conditions (such as cancer)?
-gimpy | | R: | Dear gimpy,
BYU will take all students that are at least enrolled in 9 credits Fall/Winter, regardless of past medical conditions. Whether or not they will cover your medical expenses if your condition relapses is another story. The health center states they will cover the cost of your medical procedures as long as you have had continuous health insurance coverage, and the care is not listed under the exemptions. A lengthy list of these exemptions can be found at http://www.dmba.com/nsc/handbooks/student/hbbyu2004.pdf beginning at page 35.
Aspen | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
My new husband and I have both just graduated from BYU (me in December and he in April). When I graduated I was offered an extension of BYU's health insurance that was good for a couple months, but I didn't need it because I was still covered under my parents insurance. Now that I'm married and no longer covered by my parents insurance, I was wondering again about the extension of BYU's insurance. I don't think I'm eligble anymore because too much time has passed since it was offered to me. But is it possible for this extension to be offered to my husband (and thereby to me as well, as a spouse)? We'd only need the insurance for 3 months, since we'll be moving to another state for graduate school.
- Wants to be covered | | R: | Dear Wants to be covered,
The Student Health Center deadline for insurance extensions was May 3rd, and they cannot add people after that date. Fortunately, many insurance companies offer short term or temporary health insurance plans for people in your situation. Check with insurance agents in the area. If you go through the same company as your car insurance, you can usually get a pretty good rate.
Aspen | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
My husband and I are trying to time having a baby. If I were to take the semester off that I delivered the baby , could I still get the student insurance for that semester at the 292/semester rate? Would I still be allowed to work on campus if I wasn\'t taking classes but would return the next semester?
- future mommy | | R: | Dear future Mommy,
I don't know about the Health Insurance, but as long as you're enrolled in classes for the following semester, you're allowed to work on campus. If you're not yet enrolled in classes, however, you aren't allowed to work, as class enrollment is the only indication they have that you're actually planning on being a student.
-Novel Concept | | R: | Dear future mommy,
I'll tell you what I know about BYU and insurance. As long as you are a current student, you have to have insurance covering you. It can be private insurance (you have to waive BYU insurance each year and show proof of current insurance) or you can have BYU's student insurance cover you. If you defer for one semester, you still have to be covered by insurance and therefore BYU insurance is still available for you. I suggest contacting BYU Student Health Center (422-2771) and talking with an Insurance Specialist to cover any questions you may still have and to talk to the registration office (422-2824)to check on deferment issues.
-Pa Grape | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I've had awful pains in my knees off and on for years now, and I'm only 19. Does BYU student insurance cover me having my knees looked at by a doctor? If so, where would I go to have that done?
RobbingupEngland | | R: | Dear RobbingupEngland,
Knee pain isn't fun and you should really have your knees looked at, especially while you are young. The older you get the more you fall apart, and well, that's just not fun either.
According to the BYU Health Plan, any care you receive in the Student Health Center (SHC) is covered by the plan 100%. You just have to make an appointment. However, care you receive outside the SHC is discretionary; if it is a contracted provider the plan plays 80%, and if it is not a contracted provider, the plan pays 50%. To receive outside SHC contracted care, you need to have a referral by the SHC. Also, for BYU health plan coverage you have to be pre-authorized, and you can't do that without contacting the SHC as well.
Therefore, if I were you, I would start by calling the SHC to make an appointment. Looks like you can't do anything without contacting them first. Tell them the general problem you have and they can have a look at you, or they can set up a referral for elsewhere if they deem that necessary.
You should also remember your copays. You can receive basic x-ray, laboratory, and physican services at the SHC for a $10 copay, but for authorized outside physican care services the copay goes up to $25. Oh, and if you don't preauthorize outside care, you pay $100. That's another reason why you should start by contacting the SHC instead of trying to find your own care physician.
For more specific insurance information, you can call 801-422-2661 or email healthplan@byu.edu. Preauthorization is through Deseret Mutual, but should you need outside care, the plan preauthorizes automatically (usually--check your health booklet for specific instances of when they don't). You can download SHC book if you need it at http://health.byu.edu/index.asp. SHC scheduling can be made by calling 801-422-5156. They are open from 8 am to 5:30 pm Monday through Friday.
Good luck. Insurance is fun, isn't it?
-ME | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I saw a question about ADHD on here recently, and I was wondering, if you've always suspected that you have it, in fact a fairly severe case of it, where would one go to talk to a doctor about that problem? And is it covered under byu insurance?
RobbingupEngland | | R: | Dear RobbingupEngland,
The first step in this is going to be to talk to your family practitioner. If you're a BYU student, that means a doctor at the Student Health Center. They may end up referring you out to someone else, but if they do, BYU's Student Health Insurance will cover it (you still have a copay though). And even if you did know who they were going to refer you to, you still have to have a referral before going otherwise your insurance won't pick it up. For more info on adult ADHD, check out http://www.adultadd.com/2_2_recognizing/screener.jsp?ccd=kwstra593.
-Pa Grape | | R: | Dear RuE-
While slightly outside the scope of your question, do you exercise regularly? Forty minutes of aerobic exercise five times a week has been shown to be effective in decreasing symptoms of ADD and ADHD. (Even if you aren't ADD/ADHD, this is still pretty good advice.)
And, as always, be sure to consult a physician before making any self-diagnosis or change to your exercise routine.
-The Franchise | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How much is NuvaRing at the student health center pharmacy for someone on BYU health insurance?
- Bored Engineer | | R: | Dear Bored Engineer,
The birth control NuvaRing costs $15 per month if you're a student with BYU health insurance.
Nike | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I'm getting married to Lit Freak in December, and we're gonna need health insurance! I looked at the BYU plan, and I think it says it doesn't cover prescriptions. What would you recommend looking into around here?
The BYU plan is some $312 per person per semester. How much will that run us to get something that covers prescriptions? I'm very scared, I don't know what I'm doing at all!
- Spoo | | R: | Dear Spoo,
Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials! I hope that you and LitFreak are very happy together and stay eternally in love. Exciting times!
Here's the scoop on health insurance. First off, you are correct, the BYU student health plan does not offer prescription coverage. However, as a student, you would qualify to use their pharmacy (located at the student health center) which issues prescriptions at wholesale price. What does that mean? It means that prescriptions will be cheaper for you as a whole from BYU than from any other pharmacy in the area should you arrive with no prescription coverage. Depending on the drug, this can often leave you paying as much as you would with insurance at another pharmacy. It's not 100%, but it helps a great deal.
When it comes to looking at other insurance, I think it important for you to look at the total picture. Unless you or LitFreak have a medical condition (such as mental illness or a chronic condition) that requires you to have a lot of prescriptions filled very often, it is not worth it for you to shop around. The student health plan is, frankly, the best priced option out there for the coverage you receive.
As married students, your monthly premium would be $312 a semester(+$156 each spring and summer term) for each of you according to the DMBA Student Health Insurance specialist, Sheila at the Student Health Center. (422-2771) This includes 80/20 coverage to contracted physicians and has only a $10 co-pay for visits. This INCLUDES maternity coverage from day one. So, for an entire year, you are looking at $1,872 total for the both of you to be covered by BYU.
I did some homework and found that on average, private insurance with prescription coverage would run you $248-350/month each - PLUS $800 a year on top of that for maternity. This includes 80/20 coverage and a $20 co-pay for visits. Your total under private insurance with prescription coverage and maternity (assuming the best at $248/month) would run around: $6,752 for the both of you.
Bottom line: unless you have a need for extensive prescription coverage above and beyond what the Health Center Pharmacy can provide (and totaling more than $4,880 a year) you are better off with student health insurance coverage.
Hope that helped!
Love,
Ma Grape
| | R: | Dear Spoo,
First of all, while it's true the plan doesn't cover prescriptions, you DO get discounted prescriptions at their pharmacy. I get a prescription that's usually at least $40 per month for $23 there. That's an amazing deal. Plus, I had two doctor's appointments in one day and guess how much it cost me? $20. Total. For two. That's only $10 per visit. That's unheard of. A doctor's appointment in the real world can cost upwards of $100 even without a prescription. I'd advise you to look more carefully into the plan. Go and ask for a brochure or find it online and ask them questions if you need to. They're really nice and totally willing to help.
Don't be scared, Spoo. My husband and I were a little afraid when we first started doing this, but I promise you'll be fine. Assess your and your fiancee's needs and see if it fits the BYU plan. It does with most people more times than not. That's my opinion, anyway. And $300 is a lot when you're married, but it really is a pretty decent deal when you compare rates with other outside-the-bubble insurance companies. You'll do great!
Nike | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I am turning 23 in just about a month. With my age I will no longer be on my parent's health insurance from work. So, it will be time to go on the BYU insurance. I remember at the beginning of the year, that it said you couldn't change your status mid school year online. What am I going to have to do to get on the schools insurance for the coming semester? Who do I call or what do I do?
-Hopefully not getting sick | | R: | Dear Hopefully not getting sick,
You are right that open enrollment is only at the start of fall semester. However, BYU knows that sometimes students have odd situations with health care and are willing to help accomodate.
If you have been dropped from private insurance, and have not been without health insurance for more than 60 days, you can sign up for BYU student insurance with no problems. Now, they don't prorate their fees, so if there is only one month left in the semester and you sign up, you'll pay the same as someone who signed up at the beginning of the semester. If it has been more than 60 days, you'll have to wait until the start of the next term/semester to sign up.
If you have questions, call 422-7737 and pick option 3. If you want to sign up, you'll actually have to go into the health center.
-Pa Grape | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I plan on getting married this summer to a wonderful and beautiful woman who attends BYU. I was wondering what my options were with both of us getting health insurance after our marriage through BYU even though she is the only one attending the Y right now. I am currently at UVSC and probably won't be going to BYU for a couple more semesters. What can we do?
Healthy, but uninsured:) | | R: | Dear Healthy,
Visit the archives. We've answered this question many times. Also check the FAQ.
On that note, I recommend BYU married student insurance. Pretty good for your buck.
Happy nupitals!
And that's the way the wedding reception cookie crumbles,
Nike | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
In a strictly financial sense, is it cheaper to have a baby on BYU Student Health Insurance, or on Private Insurance (not part of job benefits). Assuming the pregnancy & delivery are smooth? And assuming there are complications?
-Curious | | R: | Dear Curious,
Frankly it is hard to say, because some private health insurance plans have great plans that are cheap but some have great plans that are very pricy. Also, student insurance can cost more if the soon-to-be mother is not a student. Some plans cover medications; some plans have a ridiculous co-pay; some plans just aren't worth it for what you're paying. Sorry for the subjective answer, but I can't give you an objective one without specifics.
If you want more information on student health insurance through BYU, see our insurance FAQ or search the archives under Insurance.
-Zantedeschia | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I am not a student for Spring or Summer terms, and I am on my parents insurance, so how would I go about canceling my enrollment in the BYU Health Insurance Plan?
- Healthy, Abroad, and Poor | | R: | Dear H, A, and P,
If you have private insurance (your parent's policy) and the effective date on it is before/on the first day of the semester, you'll need to go to the Health Plan office (2nd floor of the Student Health Center) and sign a waiver for Spring/Summer. If you're out of the area, you can send an email to healthplan@byu.edu and give your name, student id number or social, the name of the insurance company, policy holder's name, and policy number of your private insurance. When you start school again in the Fall, you'll be re-enrolled in the Health Plan at BYU (as long as you have 9 credits, obviously).
If you have anymore questions, I'd recommend calling the Student Health Center at 801-422-2771, Option 3, and Option 3.
- Lavish | | Q: | Could you tell me the basics about the BYU health plan? I browsed their website, but alas, it just made me more confused. I just barely started college and have never even scheduled a doctor's appointment for myself, so I was wondering: How do you schedule an appointment? Is is best to just go to the doctors at the student health center? Do you have to be 18 to schedule your own appointment? I'm a couple months shy of my birthday. What do you have to bring with you (ID, proof of insurance, medical history, etc.)? And about how much is the copay for doctor's appointments and prescriptions? I know that every situation and copay is probably different. I wasn't expecting a set-in-stone, authoritative answer, just a basic idea of what to do if one had, say, strep throat. Thanks.
Clueless Freshman Girl | | R: | Dear Clueless,
Welcome to the world of being responsible for your own insurance. It can be a headache sometimes, but fortunately BYU keeps it relatively simple (as health insurance goes, anyway). You said you've browsed their website; did you get a chance to look at the Student Handbook? That may add some needed clarification.
Here is a summary of some of the information in the handbook:
To schedule an appointment, call (801)422-5156. It is definitely better to see the doctors at the Student Health Center--it can get very expensive if you don't. In fact, if you see an off-campus physician without pre-authorization, your copay will be $100. At the Student Health Center, your copay will be $10 for regular visits, and $15 for urgent care visits. When you go, it would be a good idea to bring your ID, as well as the insurance card they sent you when you enrolled in BYU Health Insurance.
As far as your age is concerned, I don't think you should have a problem.
If you need any additional clarification, call (801)422-2661, or visit them at 1750 N. Wymount Terrace Drive. The people in the office there are very helpful.
Oh, and I really hope that strep throat thing was just hypothetical. If not, you'd better get in pretty quick.
May you seldom if ever need the Student Health Center,
-TheGoldenMean |
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| Why do the older Board archives only have one posting date per semester? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why do the older Board archives only have one posting date per semester?
-Many readers | | A: | Dear Many readers,
For questions posted in 2000 and earlier, we don't have information about the specific dates that the questions were posted, we just have year and semester information. When I was resubmitting the archive questions <^39403>, it was easier to submit them all under one date than to artificially spread them out over the semester.
-Katya | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | |
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| What is the plural of "Book of Mormon"? |
| Q: | What is the plural of "Book of Mormon"? | | A: | It's "Books of Mormon," "Book of Mormons," or "copies of the 'Book of Mormon,'" depending on who you ask. | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Ok, so is it "Books of Mormon", "Book of Mormons", or "Copies of the Book of Mormon". i have no idea which one it is, and none of us can decide.
-Jus' Wundrin | | R: | Dear Jus',
I say "Books of Mormon," but then again, I refer to the multiple Harry Potter films or books as "Harrys Potter." Take that for what it's worth.
- Optimistic. | | R: | My Dearest Only Wondering,
Chalk me up for "Books of Mormon" over "Book of Mormons." Also I ran the comparison on Google Fight and it was 872 results vs. 652 results, resulting in a win for "Books of Mormon." That means Google found more websites describing the plural of the "Book of Mormon" as "Books of Mormon."
Now when you throw the plural form "copies of the Book of Mormon" into the mix it gets interesting. I consider both to be correct, and Google Fights agreed by returning 838 results, basically a dead heat. That means whether you use "Books of Mormon" or "copies of the Book of Mormon" you will at least have the majority of people agreeing with you.
-The Right Reverend Rusky Roo | | R: | Dear Wondering,
A "Book of Mormon" is a kind of "Book" (not a kind of "of Mormon), so when you pluralize it, you pluralize the main part, "Book," not the modifying phrase. (In some languages you do pluralize the adjectives that modify plural nouns, but English is not one of those languages. And even in those languages, you still don't pluralize prepositional phrases.) So from a linguistics perspective, you should say "Books of Mormon."
However, my uncle, who first taught me all things relating to typography and style, also introduced me to the convention whereby one cannot modify the title of a book in pluralizing it. Since "Book of Mormon" is a proper phrase, you cannot change it. So from a proper editing/stylistic perspective, you need to say "copies of The Book of Mormon."
And "Book of Mormons" isn't supported by either philosophy, except that it's the one that you're most likely to hear, and it would be uncharitable to judge people for saying it.
So. Use the first in speech if you're the kind of person who gets a kick out of saying "attorneys general" or "brothers-in-law." Use the second in writing for official publications of the Church (should you ever be so lucky), and use the third if you're feeling extra colloquial. (And don't look down on people for using it. And probably don't correct them either, unless you're both English/linguistics nerds. And I use the term fondly.)
- B.C. | | R: | Dear Jus',
If you ask Elder Van Pelt on "The Best Two Years" (and me), it's
"Books of Mormon."
Just wanted to throw that in there.
Nike | | R: | Dear JW,
Good question. In fact, this is such a good question that it was once the subject of a discussion in the Utah senate: http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,600114286,00.html?lds=T
According to BYU's official style guide, either "Books of Mormon" or "copies of the Book of Mormon" is acceptable. According to President Hinckley when he was still an apostle, "copies of the Book of Mormon" is the correct form.
As for me, I always say "Books of Mormon," mostly because I enjoy the thrill of pretentiousness that accompanies it.
-Petra
PS: Optimistic, I think I love you. "Harrys Potter," indeed! | | R: | Dear Jus' Wundrin,
Any knowledgable editor on campus would tell you that the correct phrase is copies of the Book of Mormon. Linda Adams was a huge advocate of making sure people got the phrasing right. Go Linda.
-ME | | R: | Dear Jus'...in
I am alright with Books of Mormon,
Just don't try to apply that to that one book with Captain Ahab...
Have Fun Storming the Castle,
-Il Guanaco
PS. is your real name Justin? | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What is the correct plural of Book of Mormon?
Your typical grammar snob would hastily respond with:
"Books of Mormon, of course" + self-satisfied smirk;
However, recently when I reacted with this response, it was called to my attention that Books of Mormon implies that Mormon wrote multiple books, and one is referring to more than one of them. In thinking about this, I believe that would actually be expressed by 'books of Mormon' (the b in books not capitalized), and Books of Mormon would indeed refer to multiple copies of the Book of Mormon.
But then (as my grammar challenger also pointed out), plurals of book titles involving 'of' in the title are pluralized by adding an 's' to the end of the entire title. For example: "I have two Merchant of Venices" (definitely more awkward than saying 'I have two copies of the Merchant of Venice," but perhaps grammatically correct nonetheless?). To say "I have two merchants of Venice" is wrong (humans possessing humans? We were done with that a long time ago) because it refers directly to merchants - not a book about them - and to say "I have two Merchants of Venice"....no.
HELP.
Thanks,
- Liberty 5-3000 | | R: | Dear Methodia Rascal,
I resent the implication that I may or may not be a grammar snob. Despite your snide remarks, though, I still say the proper plural is, indeed "Books of Mormon," but I probably usually say "Book of Mormons." So maybe I'm only half a snob?
-Azriel | | R: | Dear Libby,
This is no doubt in the archives somewhere, but it's faster to just answer it. The plural is 2 copies of the Book of Mormon. This removes all ambiguity. Yes, it's long and cumbersome, but I'm willing to bet you say 2 pairs of pants instead of 2 pantses.
-=Optimus Prime=- | | R: | Dear Liberty,
In Welsh, it's Llyfrau Mormon - Books of Mormon.
-Tangerine | | R: | Dear Liberty,
See also <^21353>.
- the librarian |
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| How do I get rid of popups on my computer? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How can I effectively get rid of all the pop up ads that come up on my computer. I downloaded "Sbybot: Search and Destroy" and updated it and it said it cleaned out a bunch of things, but I still get tons of random pop up ads on my desktop and stuff. What else can I do? And it isn't all my fault, it was our family computer before I got it.
- Swamped | | A: | Dear Swamped,
Try running Ad-Aware from http://www.lavasoftusa.com. That program will often find spyware that other programs don't. Then go to http://www.mozilla.org and download Firefox. It'll automatically block pop-ups.
- FCSM
Dear Swamped,
Exactly what FCSM said. If what FCSM suggested doesn't work, there are some basic things to check for advanced Windows XP users. My only warning is that if you don't feel comfortable doing this, find someone you know that does.
1. Verify all of your currently running processes. If you're using Windows XP, you can hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete and open the Task Manager. Click the "Processes" tab, sort by user, and verify every process listed under your user name.
2. If you find a process that you do not recognize and you're sure it's not a system process, write down the name of it and try killing it. If it comes back, you have problems. If not, try using your system some more and see if it changes anything.
3. If you killed a process and you notice that your system is running better and you're absolutly positive that it's not something that you need running, you can try and remove it from your startup. In Windows XP, click "Run" in the Start menu and then type "msconfig". With that, click the "Startup" tab and look for the name you wrote down earlier. If you find it in there anywhere, make sure the associated checkbox is unchecked.
4. If you restart and are still having problems with this program, then you'll need to do some registry editing. Use "Run" again, but this time type "regedit". Before you begin, save your registry so that you have a backup (see the "File" menu). Hit F3 (for search) and type the name of the problematic process. Search for it and remove every instance you find of it. Be VERY careful as removing something from the wrong place can really break Windows. Reboot.
If you can find someone to do this, they'll probably already know how to do it all. The real trick is figuring out which processes are not supposed to be there. Use this information wisely. You have been warned.
-Fractile | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
- I have recently had a virus on my computer. Porn links keep popping up and I don't like it, but it won't go away! What do I do? How can I get rid of it?
Deeply disturbed | | R: | Dear Deeply Disturbed,
Interestingly enough, somebody else asked a very similar question about 20 hours before you did, but since your question is a little different, I'll give you a full answer. Somehow you got either spyware and or adware onto your computer. These are malicious programs that invite pop-ups to your computer. Some of them keep track of the types of websites you visit, and start sending you advertisements for those types of products (I am thinking this is probably not the type you have, since you are receiving unwanted porn solicitations). The other type just broadcasts your IP address to advertising companies, and they bombard you with pop-ups. You can download a program that will remove these malicious programs from your computer at http://www.lavasoftusa.com/ The program is called Ad-aware (it is also available at http://download.com.com/ ). Also, some of the pop-ups you get are from the actual websites you visit (although hopefully not the pornography ones). The only way to not get these is to get a pop-up blocker, or as I prefer, switch to a web browser that automatically blocks pop-ups. I would suggest trying out Mozilla Firebird (available at http://www.mozilla.org/products/firebird/ ). And better yet, if you install the adblock plug-in, you can start to block out all those annoying banner ads too. Good luck on your crusade against pop-ups!
-Phoenix
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
A Feb 5th question asked how to eliminate the pop-ups generated by, or linked to, internetcleaning.com. Unfortunately, I have the same problem. I've updated my anti-virus program, have an adware/spyware remover, and have cleared my history. I don't have the time to keep looking for this thing - whatever it is - and there isn't much out there on it. Google hit your board's question - and that's all!
I'm sure someone is behind it: try going to the site and you get a cute "no one's here" message.
Perhaps a "donation" will help generate some sleuthing on this?
- Very Annoyed in Ohio | | R: | Dear Very Annoyed:
You didn't try the answer I gave to that question, did you?
-- The Keeper of Abdicated Mullets | | R: | Dear A-noid,
I have an easy solution. Go to Start Menu, Run, type "cmd" and hit enter. When the DOS type window comes up, just type "format c:" and hit enter.
I guaruntee that pop-ups will be the least of your worries.
-CGNU Grad | | R: | Dear Annoyed,
If you're not willing to try The Keeper's suggestion, then become a beta tester for Microsoft. If you get Service Pack 2 for Windows XP, it has a built in pop-up blocker...
-Phoenix | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I need some help. I'm usually not too bad with computers when it comes to little things, like getting rid of viruses and stuff, but I realize most things are way out of my league. This is one of those things. First look at this:
http://oca.microsoft.com/en/Response.asp?SID=519
and then this:
http://support.intel.com/support/graphics/sb/CS-009483.htm
The first is what came up on my screen after my computer started up and said "the system has encountered a serious error" or something like that (it does this every time I turn the computer on lately). The second is a link from the first. My question is this: it says I should download their graphics driver or find out if my system has a better one. I can't seem to find a good customer service number for Microsoft (I use XP home edition; I'm not ready for Linux yet), and I'd really rather consult someone who can give me the answer straight without waiting on hold forever anyway (yes, yes, 100 hours, I still think it's better). So what should I do?
Thanks, guys. I owe ya on this one.
- Forelithe | | R: | Dear Forelithe:
If you can get the computer booted and running at all, then go ahead and boot it up, download the driver, and install it. If the one you already have is newer, then it won't install automatically. You may have to uninstall it or force a downgrade. At any rate, having a bum graphics driver isn't too hard to fix.
If Windows crashes when it first loads up, then you can always hit <F8> right when the first "loading Windows" screen pops up and boot into Safe Mode. From there, you can delete the graphics card from the System Configuration control panel, reboot, and Windows will re-install it after a reboot. You can also install the new drivers while in Safe Mode. But N.B. that you won't have network access, so you can't download them in Safe Mode.
This is one big reason I really don't like having the GUI tied to the OS itself. In Linux, if X Windows (the GUI) breaks, your system is still very usable. Certainly usable enough to fix the GUI without a whole bunch of reboots.
-- Misaneroth | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I was looking at spyware removers yesterday and they all advertise free scanners. I downloaded several of them and they all came out with different results and different numbers of infections. Is this because some scanners are better than others or because the scanners are making up infections in order to get you to buy the product? After a while, that is what I began to suspect.
- Poinsettia | | R: | Dear Poinsettia,
As usual, good question! Yes, some spyware removers are better than others and yes, some spyware removers do give you "false positives" just to get you to buy their product. To read more about these nefarious programs, feel free to check out:
http://www.spywarewarrior.com/rogue_anti-spyware.htm
- Conrad | | R: | Dear Conrad,
You hereby receive Uffish Thought's award of Utter Marvelousness for the use of the word 'nefarious.' I'd do the whole props clapping snapping thing, but that's difficult when you only have a keyboard to express that. Seriously- we need to use some of these neglected words. They're very fun, and they're feeling a bit left out. However, I draw the at using 'wheretofore' in all seriousness. That's just disgusting.
-Uffish Thought | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have Windows Service 2 Pack, and Spy Sweeper, and I've checked for viruses about 10 times, but I still get 10 pop-ups a page.... Please help me!!
- Bleeding Feet again | | R: | Dear Bleeding Feet,
Download Ad-Aware SE from www.lavasoftusa.com. Run that instead of Spy Sweeper. Go to www.mozilla.org and download Firefox. See if that fixes your problem. If you still have problems with pop-up windows, go to www.trendmicro.com and run their virus scanner to see if your virus software isn't catching something. Firefox automatically blocks all popups, and Ad-Aware should get rid of most spyware. If you -still- have problems, do what Phoenix said.
- FCSM | | R: | Dear Bleeding again,
Dude, reinstall Windows (after a liberal backup, of course). It's a lot easier than dealing with the crap.
-Phoenix | | Q: | K, Board. THIS one will be a toughie. You might no be able to help me.
Virus issues: I've used Norton and Lavasoft's Ad-Aware. Norton has pinpointed consistently where 4 spyware programs are but can't remove them when it tries; it says that they're in one of those OLYBRSQ23RS type folders and I found four of them like that but none of them matched what Norton said, and only contained logos from dell.com and from the BYU web site.
Processes: wscntfy.exe will automatically pop up when I close it. Also, jusched.exe, hkcmd.exe, alg.exe, lsass.exe, CCAPP.exe, BCMWLTRY.exe, CCEVTMGR.exe, and WLTRYSVC.exe all look pretty creepy in my task manager list. I originally couldn't even use Internet Explorer, control panel, or My Computer, thank goodness for Firefox, but I fixed that. Now I'm stuck with a stupid ad plastered over my wallpaper, where I only see the wallpaper right after I log off and right as Windows loads up, but then the ad stays.
I've also found a few weird notepad files that I saved for reference of finding in the System32 folder. Lovely. Oh, Norton said they were called adware.CDT, adware.puritys, and adware.syncroad. I did searches for hidden folders and in the temporary Internet folder on the standard My computer search with the funky letters and the phrases. It shows nothing. It's in there, buried deep, and I can't friggin' get it out.
I already downloaded the Windows update, and that helped. But there's that ad and my way way slow computer. I basically can't even use the Internet anymore.
Please no snide Mac comments; I've not the time to learn nor the money to buy a Mac.
Help me 100 hour board, you're my only hope :-(
-Poor unfortunate soul | | R: | Dear Poor Unfortunate Soul,
I recommend you look up all those .exe files on Google. I tried the first two and found out that they're safe. They're Windows processes that are necessary. If any of the others are spyware, you should be able to find out what to do next.
You didn't say if you were using the latest virus definitions or the latest version of Ad-Aware (and Ad-Aware defintions). If you're not, update those, especially Ad-Aware, because they recently came out with a new version that finds a lot more.
Can you change your wallpaper back yourself? You didn't make that clear.
- FCSM | | Q: | So, so, so brutal, board.
I have some nasty spyware on my computer and Ad-Aware and Spy Sweeper, two of the best on the market, couldn't completely fix the situation. It takes ten friggin' minutes to load my computer now.
I since added XP service pack 2 and that has helped some stuff.
Here's the problem; I want to reinstall XP but it won't let me because the reinstall disk makes for an older version.
Any ideas? Do I just remove service pack 2? Is that possible? It's like I've permanently made my computer slow!
-Between a hard place and a hard place
| | R: | Dear Stuck,
It sounds like you're maybe trying to install from Windows. If you want to reinstall Windows you really need to boot from the install disk. So, here are some basic guidelines to follow.
1)Back up EVERYTHING. Well, maybe not everything, but make sure you save all of your documents, music, movies, etc. A few steps down the road I'm going to suggest that you reformat your hard drive, so if you don't back it up, you will lose it. Also, don't randomly save everything to cds, as you might just back up the SpyWare that you already have. This is a time consuming step.
2)Insert the Windows CD.
3)Reboot your computer, and allow your computer to boot from the CD. *note* You may have to change your bios to allow boot-from-cd. You ussually get into the bios to change settings by hitting del at the beginning of your computer's start-up. In the bios you can probably just change the boot order and put cd abover hard drive.
4)Follow the instructions you get on screen. Do not attempt to repair a current installation of Windows, but instead make a new installation.
5)When you are asked where to install, delete the partition that your C: drive is on, and make a new partition (probably the same size). Choose to install Windows on this new partition. You will have to format the partition (I recommend doing a normal format, not a quick format).
6)Keep following the on-screen instructions and wait for the installation to finish.
That's the basic process to reinstalling Windows.
-cubic nerd | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How can I effectively get rid of all the pop up ads that come up on my computer. I downloaded "Sbybot: Search and Destroy" and updated it and it said it cleaned out a bunch of things, but I still get tons of random pop up ads on my desktop and stuff. What else can I do? And it isn't all my fault, it was our family computer before I got it.
- Swamped | | R: | Dear Swamped,
Try running Ad-Aware from http://www.lavasoftusa.com. That program will often find spyware that other programs don't. Then go to http://www.mozilla.org and download Firefox. It'll automatically block pop-ups.
- FCSM | | R: | Dear Swamped,
Exactly what FCSM said. If what FCSM suggested doesn't work, there are some basic things to check for advanced Windows XP users. My only warning is that if you don't feel comfortable doing this, find someone you know that does.
- Verify all of your currently running processes. If you're using Windows XP, you can hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete and open the Task Manager. Click the "Processes" tab, sort by user, and verify every process listed under your user name.
- If you find a process that you do not recognize and you're sure it's not a system process, write down the name of it and try killing it. If it comes back, you have problems. If not, try using your system some more and see if it changes anything.
- If you killed a process and you notice that your system is running better and you're absolutly positive that it's not something that you need running, you can try and remove it from your startup. In Windows XP, click "Run" in the Start menu and then type "msconfig". With that, click the "Startup" tab and look for the name you wrote down earlier. If you find it in there anywhere, make sure the associated checkbox is unchecked.
- If you restart and are still having problems with this program, then you'll need to do some registry editing. Use "Run" again, but this time type "regedit". Before you begin, save your registry so that you have a backup (see the "File" menu). Hit F3 (for search) and type the name of the problematic process. Search for it and remove every instance you find of it. Be VERY careful as removing something from the wrong place can really break Windows. Reboot.
If you can find someone to do this, they'll probably already know how to do it all. The real trick is figuring out which processes are not supposed to be there. Use this information wisely. You have been warned.
-Fractile | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
How Do I get rid of spyware on my laptop? The incessant popups are driving me crazy.
The kind of current 727 | | R: | Dear The kind of current 727,
Download SpyBot and AdAware and run the programs. Spyware will be annihilated.
- de novo - | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
My compy is being overrun by pop-ups! I've used Mozilla for the past 8 months or so, and I've never had a problem with pop-ups until yesterday. All of the sudden I can't be online for 5 seconds without having to X out of 5 pop-up ads. Figuring that the problem was adware of some sort... I tried downloading 4 different adware blockers/scanners/removers (Lavaware, SpyBot Search & Destroy, STOPzilla!, and NoAdware) and did system checks with each, followed by a removal of problematic items. While these have helped to some degree, I am still getting a lot of unwanted ads. What else can I try?
- Virginia is for Lovers | | R: | VL
I bet you're an RA, beacuse the best RA's come from VA.
Clear your cache. Run Symantec 10.0, availible from the BYU OIT website (htt://oit.byu.edu). Make sure your adware sweepers are up to date. More than likely you have a virus of the sort, and if this be the case, Symantec will find it.
Happy Spyware Hunting Virginia
-Motionite |
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| Can you tell me what's wrong with my computer and how to fix it? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
My computer has been acting funny. If I describe what it is doing, can you tell me how to fix it? Or at least what is wrong with it?
-Broken Hearted over my Broken Computer | | A: | Dear Broken,
We'd like to help you, really we would. But if we can't actually look at the machine, we can't be certain and we'd hate to tell you how to fix something and then not have that something be what is really wrong. So we have three suggestions.
1. Go through the archives/related FAQs. In the past we have been able to help some people and what you may need may be in there.
2. Find a friend/person in the ward who is big into computers and knows how to diagnose problems.
3. Take it to a repair shop like Cougar Computers in the Bookstore.
Unfortunately, we just can't distance diagnose your problem. Good luck with one of the three suggestions above.
-CGNU Grad | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
So my laptop has been frustrating me lately. I got it about two weeks before semester started and my V key came off. It's really annoying. And I'm not mechanically inept; I took the key apart and put it back on but it just keeps coming off. I think it may be busted for good. So here's my question: is there anywhere I can take dear old Lappy (It's a Compaq Presario M2000 if that helps) to get it fixed? I don't want to send it anywhere because I don't want to be without it for very long. Thanks for your help!
- Soprano | | R: | Dear Soprano,
You have two options:
1) Call Compaq and complain. Emphasize that you think this product was below Compaq's reputation and that you want something done about it. They will likely have you send it to them and fix it at no charge.
2) Go to the Computer Repair center in the Bookstore. They may be able to either fix it permenantly or order a new V key assembly from Compaq and replace the broken one. This may cost you a bit of money, but it should not be out of your hands for very long.
That is all.
Horatio the Computer Nerd | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
So my laptop's fan has been freaking out lately. It will go so crazy that it overheats and shuts the whole computer down, without any warning (other than that the fan is whirring quite loudly). Do you know if this is a problem that can be fixed? It's starting to be quite an issue as my computer shuts down on me 2-3 times a day. Best Buy wanted to charge 60 bucks just to decide what's wrong...any knowledge you have on this issue ASAP would be greatly appreciated!
-Broken Laptop | | R: | Dear Broken,
Never pay some mega-store just to try to figure out what's wrong. Every ward or stake has at least one guy who is much smarter about computers/AV stuff than the average person (by this, I mean nerd). Said guy who is much smarter about computers/AV stuff than the average person ("nerd") would probably be more than happy to tinker around with things and figure out what's up. Just be sure not to call, or refer to said guy who is much smarter about computers/AV stuff than the average person as a "nerd", unless he refers to himself as such. Even then, approach with caution and don't call guy who is much smarter about computers/AV stuff than the average person a "nerd" until he (or, quite possibly, she, which means we will refer to the person as "werf") refers to werf-self at least three times as a "nerd".
Don't forget to buy werf some Krispy Kremes as a thank you.
- Mighty Quinn, the Mightiest of All Quinns | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
Ok so this has happened to me as long as I can remember w/Windows XP, and I'm not sure whether or not it happened w/98. My memory is a little hazy.
Anyway here's the thing. Sometimes, I'm using multiple windows at once and working on different things simultaneously (instant messaging in Gaim, writing something in Frontpage, reading the 100hour board in Firefox, etc). And sometimes, but (here's the weird part) NOT ALWAYS, a window will stay "on top" even if I'm not selecting it. For example, if I'm in Gaim and click on my Frontpage, the Gaim conversation will stay on top. But I don't know why, ESPECIALLY since it appears to happen randomly (just five minutes ago it was happening, and now it's fine).
Have any of you experienced this? What's the cure?
- Chris | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have three questions, two technical one not so technical. First the non-technical.
Why the change to 'only registered users' asking questions? Were you getting SPAM flooded? I remember when you couldn't login if you wanted to, with all the fall leaves. I didn't see an explanation on the FAQ.
Second question. I have VNC setup on my grandmothers computer so I can help her when she has problems and I don't have to fly to NY. I used ultraVNC. I used to be able to connect from my windows box, but I just converted it into a FreeBSD NAS, so now I have Debian and FreeBSD, no Windows. Currently I am stuck using ultraVNC on Windows on VMWare (virtualization), which for obvious reasons is terribly slow. Can X11VNC or XVNCViewer connect to a ultraVNC client? Do you have any experience/recommendations to get it to do so?
Last question. I'm a responsible internet user, so I use bittorrent whenever there is a link rather than a direct download. However my ISP throttles the bandwidth for bittorrent. Currently I just route bittorrent traffic through port 21 (a non-throttled port). But they caught on and now they filter by packet signatures (evil evil off-campus telecom). Can I get around that? I honestly don't download anything illegal, its all IPTV & ISOs.
- Lessig Fan | | R: | Dear Lessig Fan,
As an answer to your first question, yes it could have been spam. If that's your definition of question abuse, then yes. That was a reason. And we wouldn't have posted anything in the FAQ because no questions have been asked that relate to this problem enough that it would have to go in the FAQ. (Please don't submit 20 questions just to get it there...)
Besides, when you're registered, we feel like we know you better and we can help you on a more personal basis. :)
Ok bye.
-Zantedeschia
| | R: | Dear Triquestioneer,
For the first question I will let Zantedeschia's response stand. As for the other two questions I may have some information that can help you out.
First the issue concerning UltraVNC. I am very glad to hear that you have found this wonderful utility. Believe it or not many moons ago I was once an ultra VNC contributor. UltraVNC is actually a superset of an application / protocol called VNC developed by AT&T Cambridge research labs. You should see their sweet setup. They have combined VNC with an RFID badge, allowing all of their employees the ability to simply walk up to a pc and have it VNC connect to their remote workstation. Take my word it is wicked cool. Anyway, back to my long-winded explanation. The wonderful developers on the UltraVNC team took the existing protocol and extended additional features like file transfer, single window sharing, compression, encryption, and integrated windows authentication. They extended VNC almost to the point that UltraVNC might be considered a whole new protocol. They were in fact not alone in this development. Other developers (realVNC, TightVNC) also extended VNC to their own liking. The one real downside to UltraVNC was that it was geared heavily to the windows platform (The original VNC was very platform spanning.) This is where your problem comes in. There are a couple of solutions for you to try out. First you could try out the java client. This is actually a much overlooked feature of UltraVNC that is really cool. If you point a web browser to "http://ipaddresofyourvncserver:5800/" it will actually load a java based client that connect to the UltraVNC server. This was a way to make UltraVNC be accessible from any platform while retaining the windows specific server functionality. Please note that this will only work if you have turned on the java client server, and of course my URL assumes the default settings. The other option you have is to use a standard VNC client (like those found on Linux) and then dial down the VNC settings on your UltraVNC server. The guys developing UltraVNC were smart enough to allow UltraVNC to have lowest common denominator functionality. That way you can still use the server (albeit with the settings turned way down, i.e. turning off encryption, compressions, and integrated authentication) with clients that don't support the UltraVNC enhanced feature set. I hope that helped answer your question.
Now on to question number 3. I am sorry to say that the growing trend to throttle connections is not based entirely on issues of piracy (although it is somewhat to blame). Your provider's main reason for this is most likely quality of service. While you may not intend to suck up all of the bandwidth that your ISP has, Bit torrent is notorious for sucking up the band. Bit torrent unfortunately has a rather poorly designed (for packet efficiency) protocol. Bit torrent has the problem of opening a lot of connections (the larger the torrent storm, the more connections). While each of these connections to other seeders/leechers may only be passing small amounts of information, they tend to take up a lot of the routers memory (especially for very slow connections that stay open even though they don't pass much if not any information). This kills a router. You might not ever notice it at your own home but having a lot of people on torrents can take drop a router, and make the internet slow for all of the other users using your ISP. While I may or may not agree with the actions of your ISP I thought you might want to know the other reasons for throttling this type of bandwidth. As for breaking this throttling your options is very limited. It would be my guess that your ISP uses a layer2 packet shaper, which has the ability to determine the actual content of a packet regardless of port. This is quite common these days. As far as I know your only real option requires that you have a server outside of your ISP's network. If you have such a server or a friend somewhere with a nice fast connection (up and down), you would need to set up a tunnel. On top of that you would most likely need to setup a secure tunnel to avoid the packet shaper from understanding the packet data. You can do this using an SSH tunnel, or you can try to setup a site to site VPN tunnel (both of which you would want encrypted). Doing these things is not easy tasks and requires a fair amount of knowledge concerning the way networks works. There are several how-to's discussing how to setup a VPN tunnel and/or SSH tunnel. Like I said these are not for the novice. It would however be a great opportunity to learn quite a bit more about networks than even the more network savvy people. Chances are you are just going to have to live without torrent, or switch to a provider that doesn't throttle torrent activity.
Dinomight
| | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
My computer's monitor is kind of going screwy. Every couple minutes, it turns blue. Well, everything is tinted blue, anyways. It is REALLY annoying. It's not something wrong with viruses or anything: it's something physical, like something with the monitor itself. I've found that I can fix it by smacking the top of my monitor as hard as I can. Sometimes a gentle tap will work, other times I kick the wall. Its kind of tempermental. Somedays it doesn't change at all. Today isn't one of those days - your website consists of blue, light blue, and a tanish blue on the sides... Is there anything you can think of that is causing this? Any solutions you might think of?
-little boy blue
- Anonymous | | R: | Dear little boy blue,
It's kind of hard to diagnose problems over the Internet, especially hardware problems. My computer genius friend suggested (assuming you have a CRT [looks kinda like a TV]) that one or two of the electron guns inside the monitor may have a bad connection; it's usually possible to fix by getting into the monitor, not electrocuting yourself, and resoldering the connections to each gun. Please note that I don't recommend that you try this. Try taking it to somewhere professional.
However, I can't give you a definite answer, and would like to refer you to our FAQ regarding computer problems.
—Laser Jock |
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| Why are the questions ranked in your search engine and what do they mean? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I noticed that when doing a search for a question, the questions listed under "search" on this site are ranked. What is the meaning of their rank. Are they ranked by popularity?
- just wondering | | A: | Dear Just Wondering,
And you shall be directed to the Archives: <^15348>. In short, the rank is based on word frequency in the questions/answers that match your query. See the archived answer I gave for an exact explanation.
Enjoy!
-Fractile | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I noticed that when doing a search for a question, the questions listed under "search" on this site are ranked. What is the meaning of their rank. Are they ranked by popularity?
- just wondering | | R: | Dear Just Wondering,
And you shall be directed to the Archives: <^15348>. In short, the rank is based on word frequency in the questions/answers that match your query. See the archived answer I gave for an exact explanation.
Enjoy!
-Fractile | | Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
What does RANK mean in the archives when you pull up a certain category of questions and it gives them to you by rank - highest to lowest 0. Who ranks them?
- hmm | | R: | Dear hmm,
Thanks for motivating me to make this a FAQ. You can also find the answer in <^24106>, which will link you to <^15348>, home of the original answer.
-ME |
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| Do you see our email address/alias when responding to our questions? |
| Q: | Dear 100 Hour Board,
I'm unfamiliar with the alias system on the board: What happens if I select an alias from the popup menu above the field that I'm typing my question in? Does that alias appear only to the writers? I ask this because I haven't seen any aliases appear on the page with the day's posts, or at least I don't think I have. And if I select "none", what happens„is there a blank spot for the writers, or does it say "anonymous"? Also, what information about a message do the writers see when they answer it? Is there something that allows them to determine if two questions are from the same person, assuming the person doesn't make it evident through their signiture?
Cerulean | | A: | Dear Cerulean,
The writers see what you write and that is it. The alias you select can be seen by the editors, but we don't really go looking for it.
The purpose of the alias drop down is to link your submissions to not just you, but to a specific alias. The intent has been that we will eventually allow readers to search the archives by writer aliases. So say you are a big fan of "the captain" and want to search for replies by that writer. You could do that and all the replies written by the captain will come up. Now, lets say that FCSM and the captain were the same person (they certainly weren't but let's pretend for the sake of this explanation). If the writer only had one alias to choose from in that drop down (regardless of what they signed their responses as), once this search was implemented, any readers who searched for FCSM would also see responses by the captain (or vice versa depending on which was the alias in the drop down menu). So we give readers the same ability to use the drop down.
As for the "none" selection, it is there if you don't want the submission linked to any of your aliases. So if one of our writers decided to reply and disclose some sensitive information, they could select none and sign some random signature and when readers search for their normal alias, the reply containing the sensitive information won't be included in the returns for that search.
Make sense? Hope that helps to clear that up.
-Pa Grape | | Show/Hide Related Questions | | |
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