"He's only mostly retired. See, there's a difference between being mostly retired and all retired."

About Auto Surf:

I definitely don't have all the facts but I've probably got all the feels. Prove me wrong.

Emails from readers are grand. You can send one to me at auto.surf(at)theboard.byu.edu

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Recent answered questions:

I think I was a little too cute with my heaven or hell question the other ... — 4 votes
Do you have any alien language movie quotes memorized? -Iwanawanga! (RotJ) — 6 votes
When you're counting how many countries or states you've visited do you include places where you've ... — 3 votes
You all knew the hiding places! Did you ever peek? -Little Brother — 1 votes
The Board knows everything. But do they know why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast ... — 4 votes
We here at the Board are proud to announce the second season of The Board Bachelorette! ... — 7 votes
Okay, so I saw this on Twitter and had to get the Board's answers. Please reply ... — 5 votes
I'm trying to figure out when the statue of Brigham Young just in front of the ... — 6 votes
When was a time you made a bad decision, or perhaps were careless, that ended up ... — 6 votes
Dear 100 Hour Board Wizards, Mages, Shamans and Healers, How would you fight off the beast ... — 2 votes
What makes you feel connected to other people? -Honey Lemon — 4 votes
One thing I noticed while attending BYU was how the number of times a girl gets ... — 6 votes
How would a running of Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis with the current president play ... — 3 votes
Dear Auto Surf, How do you win at Group Naps? -Little Brother — 6 votes
Where are you going - heaven or hell? -One-Wing-hundred-FOR-TRUTH — 2 votes
I submitted a question about two weeks ago. Did it die of old age? Rick — 2 votes
When I was on my mission I became involved in a heated discussion about pens. I ... — 4 votes
How do you personally know that God loves and cares about YOU? I used to think ... — 4 votes
I sometimes wonder whether LDS members who attend/ed BYU-Provo think or feel differently of those (members) ... — 1 votes
What are your summer goals or summer projects (outside of classes and work, although I know ... — 2 votes