|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||
|
Login Ask a Question Search About Us Policies Frequently Asked Questions Top-10 Favorites Order T-Shirt Archives Today's Posts (33) Recent Posts |
Back
QDear 100 Hour Board, All right, I've struggled with Same gender attraction for the better part of fifteen years. I'm an active LDS RM upper 20's yada yada. But honestly life sucks, I don't get close to people because I'm worried about being attracted to them, and I moved to Provo so I really don't have a ton of contact with anyone that I'm close to, mostly my family. I'm tired of being alone; but I've forgotten how to make friends, and most of my days are full of self loathing. Any suggestions on making life better? Thanks, dust in the wind ADear Friend, As much as your situation is a hard one, you have to choose to make your life better and to be happy. It is your choice; you have that power. Make yourself a support group. This should include your bishop, and not necessarily for the same-gender attraction - if you're depressed and spending your days in "self loathing," something's gotta change, and your bishop can help you. And he wants to. Make new friends anyway. Most people do end up being attracted to their friends at some point - just for some they happen to be the other gender and, in your case, they don't. But potential attraction and the heartache that often follows are a part of life for everyone, and I've never met anyone who will let attraction preclude friendships. You're letting fear suck all the potential joy out of your life. Life is made of relationships. Make them, cultivate them, cherish them, even if it does, in fact, suck sometimes. Most importantly: you may feel alone, but you aren't. Rely on the Lord. There are burdens that are too heavy for us sometimes. This is why we have the Atonement. Lastly, building relationships takes time. So you better get started now. Much love, Waldorf and Sauron ADear dust in the wind, My heart goes out to you. Your situation is a very difficult one, but I know that you can fix it. I've got to agree with Waldorf and Sauron in that you've got to take the plunge and start making friends again. It's like riding a bike, and you'll get it. Deal with the attractions as they come, and don't let them give up friendships and make you miserable. Maybe this sounds counterintuitive, but maybe you should make friends who also struggle with same-sex attraction. They'll understand where you are coming from, and as a group you can keep each other safe from the dangers that possibly becoming attracted to your friends can bring. Consider joining an actual support group like Evergreen. They deal with issues like this, and perspectives from others in the group could prove to be very useful to you. And hey, if you're spending a lot of time in self-loathing, you should also consider therapy. It isn't a sign of weakness to know when you could benefit from asking for help. I know a great therapist in Provo who helped me work through a lot of self-loathing. If you're interested in his contact information, email me. Good luck. You're in my prayers. - The Black Sheep Back |
|||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||