"If you are not getting the hint after the lingering hug with back rub, no amount of 100 Hour Board answers are going to help you." - Rating Pending

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Question #89632 posted on 05/23/2017 4:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I just graduated from BYU (woo!), and I was wondering, can I still use my NetID to use the computers/library services? I had heard a rumor we never lose our library privileges. Thanks!

-Rea

A:

Dear St. Augustine,

When I graduated I lost the ability to check out books, headphones, camera equipment, etc., but could still log on to the computers and use those beautiful word-processing machines of beauty. I was able to use the Multimedia lab computers as well.

If you would like a definitive list of all the library services you can and cannot use, give the ever-helpful folks at BYU Info a call at 801-422-4636 and they will tell you straightaway. I would call them myself, but I do not have a telephone that works at present.

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz, who started this answer in L'viv, Ukraine ages ago and is terribly sorry for holding it until Prishtina, Kosovo. 


0 Corrections
Question #89737 posted on 05/23/2017 4:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What did you learn from today's forum?

-that one TA

A:

Dear That one, TA,

Sorry for holding this over so long that another devotional has come and gone; I was using this answer as a notebook for the forum and I didn't get around to saving my notes somewhere else until today (though, in my defense, you did ask this question before the forum had really started, thus forcing us to wait half an hour before we could formulate a complete response and robbing us of 0.5% of our available time to write a response).

(I'm joking, of course. All of the other writers finished with plenty of time to spare; the lateness is on me.)

The most striking points of Dr. Slife's forum were these:

-That love will always be ungraspable and incomprehensible to some extent, no matter how much we try to quantify it. It's okay when we're sometimes inarticulate when trying to express feelings of love because there very well may not be any words to describe how we feel. It also makes it seem much more human and organic; it would be pretty boring if we could "solve" love.

-Differences in a partner are things to be embraced. When we love someone who is different than we are, it helps us to be vulnerable and to understand the world better. Loving someone who is exactly like us is essentially like loving our reflection in the mirror.

So, yeah, good forum. I'm glad I tuned in.

-Frère Rubik

A:

Dear tala,

I learned that if I don't sleep well at night, I will most surely sleep when I am left to sit in a semi-comfy chair in a very dark room. 

But I also asked the guy next to me (with whom I had established friendship by sharing a mint before the thing started, knowing I might fall asleep and be that person) what he learned, and he told me how real, selfless love doesn't make sense from a scientific standpoint, because you don't get anything out of it. But then it does because the person you love seems to become a part of you and their joy is your joy, their sorrow your sorrow, etc. 

It kind of reminds me of Mosiah 18 (which is how my dad proposed). And I liked that a lot. 

Take care, 

-Auto Surf

A:

Dear person,

I have often felt amazed and undeserving of the love of so many people. I learned that the correct response for this is gratitude and reverence. None of us deserve love. If love was predicated on deserving, then it would no longer be love. That's why it's a gift. And that's what makes it so wonderful. 

-Sheebs

A:

Dear you,

I learned that love can last forever. It was great to see the lasting and powerful love Dr. Slife has for his wife.

-Kirito


0 Corrections
Question #89756 posted on 05/23/2017 3:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

(This may prove to be a difficult question, and I understand if you can't answer it.)

Here we go: At EFY a couple years ago one of the teachers mentioned that he had a CD with a hard rock version of the song "Book of Mormon Stories." The thing is, I have searched and searched for it and I can't find a version that fits his description. Was he making it up, is it unavailable to everyone outside of the secret and highly exclusive league of EFY teachers, or are my google skills just sadly lacking?

-Curious

A:

Dear Curious,

Searching Google for "hard rock book of mormon stories" led me to the Singles Ward soundtrack version of the song, which is probably what your EFY teacher was referring to. 

-The Entomophagist


0 Corrections
Question #89749 posted on 05/23/2017 1:22 a.m.
Q:

Dear Frère Rubik,

Which people should go through which doors when entering/exiting the library in order to maximize efficiency?

– Larry Wayne

A:

Dear Larry Wayne,

Well, who'da thunk it? Someone actually read my bio page!

For this question, we'll look at the ground floor of the library. Specifically, we'll look at the southwestern-most doors, since they're the ones I use the most to go from the library to the ESC when I'm going to class and therefore are the doors at which I experience most of my frustrations:

doors.png

Now, when large groups of people walk down this hallway, they tend to move to the right hand side, creating two lanes of traffic, like so:

paths.png

Why do we do this? It could be because we tend to drive on the right side of the road and so subconsciously we do the same thing when we're on foot. I found some articles about why different countries drive on the right side or the left, and this discussion about why people walk on the side of the sidewalk they do. It's interesting, but far from conclusive.

But anyway: in this situation, walking on the right side of the hall, which door should you exit out of? Would either of them be equally efficient? Let's take a look.

If the people exiting/entering the building choose the door that is on their right, the traffic flows like this:

good way.png

As you can see, this makes both the people in the blue lane and the people in the red lane happy, since they're all able to enter/exit the building in a smooth, continuous path without any interruptions. Sure, they show their happiness in different ways, but at the end of the day, what does it matter? Just because the blue people have their eyes and mouth wide open does not mean that we should give in to the temptation to label the red people as merely "content." Surely we can agree that, just as there are billions of people on this earth, there are also billions of ways to express our happiness.

Now, what would it look like if they tried the other door?

bad way.png

Now, we find that things have changed. The red people people are still happy; entering through the left door has done nothing to interrupt their walking path or their sense of inner contentment. The blue people, though, find themselves at a loss as to what they should do. While the steady stream of red people cuts them off from the door on the left, there are too many red people coming in the door on the right for the blues to exit there, either. They resign themselves to wait, hoping this interruption will turn out to be a minor one.

angry.png

It isn't meant to be. The red people continue streaming in through the left door, blissfully unaware of the problem they're creating for the blues. And how could they be? They're busy people leading busy lives, and they've been caught up in the temporary euphoria of uninterrupted traffic flow. They see themselves; in some instances, they may also see their fellow reds and bask in the joy of communal movement towards a common goal. It is highly unlikely that they see the blues.

The blues' confusion has turned into frustration. Will there be no end to the line of reds streaming through the right door? Some may make an attempt to break through the line to the left door, but the reds unwittingly have created an impenetrable barrier with their joyful movement. The blues' frustration turns into desperation, and in some cases, anger. They didn't do anything to deserve this! In fact, they get angry at the fact that they're angry. This miserable mood isn't their fault at all! Why should they have to get frustrated and upset because of the ignorant mistakes of others? Cpnfound it all, it's not fair, do you hear me? It's not fair!

And yet the reds continue to flow.

crazy.png

Eventually, the blues' anger reaches its boiling point. Future historians looking on the actions of this day will be filled with a sense of tragic pity. They, so far removed in time, can clearly see how this cause led to that effect and how the whole thing might have been avoided. If some people had perhaps been more thoughtful, and others had committed themselves beforehand to never do what would ultimately be done, then perhaps this day could have slipped unobtrusively in line with its fellows, completely normal and unremarkable. Sadly, this is not the case.

Pushed to the breaking point by their frustration and desperation to reach class on time, the blues will eventually move en masse, scattering like so many ball bearings from a discharged shotgun shell. Their random motion cuts off the red line, surprising them out of their felicitous reprieve. For a few agonizing moments, no one enters or exits the library at all. Slowly, the blues regain their sense of composure and make their way towards the doors. If some insightful red acts quickly enough, she will boldly direct her line toward the door on their right, allowing the blues a dignified exit through the other door and restoring a sense of order and balance to that small section of campus. Or, perhaps, too stunned to learn from past mistakes, she will remain in front of the door to her left. The blues, with no other option, will go through the other door, and the fortunes of red and blue will have been effectively reversed. Those blues at the front of the line will remember the tragedy and seek to warn those that come after them, but invariably the blues at the end of the line will not have paid attention and will fall into the same locomotive bliss as their red counterparts from before. The reds will wait outside, tensions building until the horrible cycle of events repeats itself once more, causing all those involved to lament the futility of time and history.

---

But there is a way to break this chain of sorrow. You can be the difference. You can be the change you want to see in the world. You can help everyone experience the joy of uninterrupted movement through open doors.

You can choose the right.

-Frère Rubik


0 Corrections
Monday, May 22, 2017
Question #89753 posted on 05/22/2017 10:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the most awkward while probably legal professional familial situation you could imagine?

-Son gynecologist

A:

Dear you,

I know this isn't what you are looking for, but I would say probably the one where someone got a job because all of the family pressured him/her into it but he/she really hated that job and didn't know how to get out of it. Now that would be awkward.

-Sunday Night Banter

A:

Dear Aziraphale,

Ex-husband/ex-wife divorce lawyer.

~Anathema


0 Corrections
Question #89752 posted on 05/22/2017 10:08 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

According to tumblr: "please remember that if your stomach didnt fold when you sit, slouch, or bend over your tummy skin would rip in half when you stood up again"

I imagine there's some truth to this statement, but how much?

-The Board's Reader

A:

Dear friend,

Ah, Tumblr, that utopian website where nobody ever lies. Kidding. Even athletic people's stomachs fold when they sit down or slouch. The reason behind it is because when you're standing up, your abdominal fat is stretched out and has to cover a wider area. When you sit down, your abdominal area is compressed and brings all the abdominal fat together. This results in stomach folds. Only people with extremely low body fat experience no folds, which is not a good place for your body to be.

So it sounds like it doesn't have to do with the skin so much as the abdominal fat carried in the stomach area. Your stomach skin probably wouldn't rip in half if you have no stomach folds when bending over, but it is a sign that your body has an unhealthily low body fat percentage. I think. Not a doctor, so medical readers can correct me if I'm wrong.

-Van Goff

A:

Dear The Only Reader,

Van Goff is correct that the real thing that folds when you sit down is fat, not skin. Assuming you have good posture, your skin doesn't even move around that much when you're sitting vs when you're standing. Besides, that post assumes that people have way more skin than they really do. It would have to be hanging off of people in large flaps for it to visibly fold when sitting down. Weirdly, I've answered a lot of questions about skin for the Board over my tenure as a writer (Google probably thinks I'm a serial killer because of all my searches about human skin), and one thing I've gotten from them is that skin is ridiculously stretchy (thanks, collagen and elastin!). So unless you've lost very large amounts of weight in a very short time and are left with skin that's too big for your body and didn't snap back to its original size, your stomach folds are from fat, not skin. So Tumblr is wrong.

However, like Van Goff said, having fat folds in your stomach isn't necessarily a bad thing. Having some fat is essential for people to be alive and carry out normal functions. The lowest percentage of body fat that men can have to still be alive is 2-5%, and the lowest percentage for women is 10-13%. That's extremely low, though, and people like bodybuilders and fitness competitors who get down to those percentages can only maintain it for a few months, max, and even they will admit that that's not great for their bodies. When they're at those percentages they don't have any stomach folds, though.

But as you probably know, most people have much more body fat than the absolute bare minimum. And the good news is, we can still be healthy with those higher percentages! Check out the chart in this article if you're interested in seeing the exact numbers of body fat percentages for different groups of people (normal, overweight, athlete, etc). There are some people in the 6-12% range who don't have stomach folds when sitting down, especially if their abs are well-developed, and they're at a maintainable body fat percentage that won't negatively affect their health (if they're men). So while it's not necessary for your health to have little stomach rolls when slouching/bending/sitting, most people will still have them, even if they're very small and barely noticeable, and that's normal and healthy. I'm not advocating for morbid obesity here, just saying that having some body fat is normal and fine and we shouldn't stress out about what our stomachs look like when we sit down.

-Alta

A:

Dear reader,

Probably similar to the amount of truth found in this text post:

tumblr_n2p4dzwNHl1sgwvnio1_500.jpg(source)

-AS


0 Corrections
Question #89750 posted on 05/22/2017 9:55 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Any fun hidden-talent tricks you guys know how to do? I can moonwalk, but that's about it.

-"an ILLUSION, Michael."

A:

Dear Aziraphale,

Playing the piano beautifully, sketching/painting amazingly, and technological prowess. Unfortunately all these talents are so well hidden that I've never found them either.

~Anathema

A:

Dear friend,

I can recite the entire Greek alphabet. In song. I don't even know Greek. Thanks, sixth grade Social Studies unit.

-Van Goff

A:

Dear Gob,

I can play music on my skull.

-Curious Physics Minor

A:

Dear sassy-frass,

I do a decent Gollum impression, and I am good at sleeping in stairwells.

--Ardilla Feroz, from Theth, Albania

A:

Dear person,

I have a good old lady smoker voice. And a good Stitch voice (from Lilo and Stitch). And a good, um, scary villain voice. 

-Sheebs


0 Corrections
Question #89652 posted on 05/22/2017 9:54 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is Divine Comedy still a thing? And is it as popular as it was 5-10 year ago? Back in my day, the line to get tickets and into shows used to form hours and hours before the actual event.

-My Name Here

A:

Dear Many Nifty Hectacres,

Divine Comedy is definitely still a thing; you can see some of their recent sketches (and a lot of old ones as well) on their YouTube page

As far as popularity goes, I don't have any numbers, but this has been my perception over the years:

My freshman year (which was five years ago) was the last year of what I think of as DC's golden age, when all of the current cast members of Studio C (minus Jeremy) were still in the group. At the time, getting tickets was ridiculously hard; my friends would line up to buy tickets at the Wilk info desk on the Monday they went on sale, and tickets sold out really quickly (as evidence, I present this promo for the end-of-year "Best Of" show. As the video notes, tickets for all of the Friday and Saturday shows had already sold out by the time the video was finished. It was posted on Wednesday, meaning the tickets were gone either Monday or Tuesday. Case: rested). And that was only to get the tickets; huge lines would form before each show just to get good seats. Though it's been a long time, I think my friends and I might have gone three hours early to get in line for the 9 PM show; that was an hour before the early show even started. 

The next period is tricky because I was on my mission, but the sense I get is that, while DC was still popular in the next couple of semesters, it wasn't quite as popular. I've also heard some of my friends say that the quality of the sketches went down a little bit in this time. In any case, when I got back from my mission, it didn't seem like DC was nearly as big of a deal; I remember in Fall 2014 there was a show where some of the cast members were walking around the Wilk handing out free tickets because apparently they needed more people in the seats. That seemed rough.

I'm happy to report, though, that the group seems to have rebounded from that low point, as it is once again very difficult to get tickets at the door, and lines for seats tend to form around an hour and a half before the show. As far as quality of the shows goes, I think it has gone back up. Some my favorite sketches from their February show aren't up on the YouTube page yet, but I also really like what they did with their parodies of 24 and La La Land and this sketch about the Google Chrome dino game.

I was going to try and get a response from Kenny Baldwin, a DC alum, but in the end I never sent him an email and now this has gone very much over-hours. If readers/writers would like to offer differing opinions, a great place to do so would be the Board Comment Board.

-Frère Rubik


0 Corrections
Question #89732 posted on 05/22/2017 6:26 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How do I convince my friends to watch One Punch Man?

-ONE PUNCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

A:

Dear excitement,

You don't.

-apathetic

A:

To Whom It May Concern:

Tell your friend that the show is good.

-An Authoritative Source

A:

Dear you,

Tell them it's really, really good. Because it is.

-Kirito

A:

Dear one,

Maybe find better friends. 

-the FoL


0 Corrections
Posted on 05/22/2017 10:38 a.m. New Correction on: #89743 Who is the tallest person (student, faculty, employee, etc.) on campus? -Skyler
Question #89746 posted on 05/22/2017 1:50 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Presuming all the gas in my 10-gallon Prius tank came from the same triceratops, how much of the triceratops would it have been? (0.05 triceratops? 1.1 triceratopses? triceratopsi?)

Sincerely,
-Put a Saber-toothed Tiger in Your Tank

A:

Dear person,

98 tons of plants are required to make 1 gallon of gas. So that means 980 tons are required to fill a 10 gallon tank. Dinosaurs are also made from organic matter and probably weren't pudgy, so I think they probably have a similar energy density as plants. Triceratops were estimated to be about 6-12 tons in weight (for reference, the largest elephants are about 10 tons). That means you'd need about 80-160 triceratops to fill up your Prius. Good mileage, eh?

-Sheebs


0 Corrections
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Question #89672 posted on 05/21/2017 11:26 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What did hypochondriac prone people stress about prior to germ theory?

-Pasteur's Restless Ghost, with apologies (but not really; I still saved y'alls lives)

A:

Dear person,

Okay so my brain went in a lot of directions in regards to how to answer this question. 

If you want to know what people thought caused disease before we knew about germs, the answer is that prior to the acceptance of germ theory, the dominant theory of illness was miasma theory. To summarize the Wikipedia article, miasma theory postulated that disease was caused by "bad air", or polluted air from rotting organic material. This is why during the plague, plague doctors had masks that looked like beaks that they filled with herbs. If that's all you want to know, feel free to skip reading the rest of this.

I think the word "hypochondriasis" perhaps caused me to overthink this answer, but now that I've finished writing it up I'm not about to delete it. This question got me thinking about how psychopathology always manifests within a cultural context. I'm not an authority on psychopathology, this is me just doing fun speculation, so nothing that I say that resembles anything in current life should be taken as a suggestion for diagnosis or somehow authoritative in any way. First, some small print about some of the conceptual stuff here:

Small Boring Print

Hypochondriasis is an antiquated term referring to conditions which we now parse apart into somatic symptom disorder and illness anxiety disorder. So to give you an idea of what hypochondriasis looks like, I will tell you about some of the most important DSM criteria for these two modern disorders (all of this stuff I got from DSM-5):

Somatic symptom disorder is characterized by excessive concern about somatic symptoms (i.e., physical symptoms) with accompanying excessive thoughts, feelings, or behaviors relating to the symptoms (e.g., disproportionately high levels of anxiety, excessive concern about seriousness of symptoms). This could mean that someone has no medical problem but experiences symptoms, or that someone who is ill has excessive preoccupation with their symptoms. With somatic symptom disorder, the experience of symptoms result in genuine suffering - there is not malingering/faking of symptoms for sympathy or other gain.

Illness anxiety disorder is characterized by excessive worry about about having or acquiring an illness without somatic symptoms as well as excessive health behaviors, such as continually monitoring their bodies for signs of illness. (Additionally, some people with OCD repeatedly worry an excessive amount about being contaminated by germs. Illness anxiety disorder and OCD are kind of hard to distinguish between in a lot of ways, and I've heard one professor say that illness anxiety disorder is just a manifestation of OCD... basically, this issue is debatable, but for the purposes of this question, let's also assume that OCD obsessions about contamination also fall within the realm of things you are asking about.)

Given these definitions, it is worth noting that in even in modern times, people who experience somatic symptom disorder and illness anxiety disorder don't necessarily stress about germs - they often stress about symptoms and illness more broadly. In other words, a person could worry about a symptom or illness without worrying about germs. For example, a person could worry excessively about getting kidney stones, which are not caused by germs. 

Things People Worried About

Okay, now for the fun and illustrative part of this question.

“Fear of devils, death, that they shall be so sick, of some such or such disease, ready to tremble at every object, they shall die themselves forthwith, or that some of their dear friends or near allies are certainly dead; imminent danger, loss, disgrace still torment others, &c.; that they are all glass, and therefore will suffer no man to come near them; that they are all cork, as light as feathers; others as heavy as lead; some are afraid their heads will fall off their shoulders, that they have frogs in their bellies, Etc.” [Source]

The above quote describes a wide variety of anxieties that I would guess we might now call illness anxiety disorder and somatic symptom disorder ("fear of... death, that they shall be so sick, of some or such disease, ready to tremble at every object, they shall die themselves forthwith"), separation anxiety disorder ("fear... that some of their dear friends or near allies are certainly dead"), specific phobia ("imminent danger", although this is very broad and perhaps is referring to something else), and social anxiety disorder ("disgrace"). But then we see some stranger fears that seem very odd to our modern ears, like the glass delusion. Today, if someone literally thought they were made of glass or that they have frogs in their bellies then they would probably be diagnosed with a psychotic disorder. It is possible that some of these past cases were also manifestations of psychotic disorders, but it is hard to look back and say whether they were psychotic hallucinations or delusions or just that such things were more normal to worry about.

-Sheebs


0 Corrections
Question #89744 posted on 05/21/2017 10:38 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Who wins the prize of most impressive where they criticized Obama for doing something then praised Trump for doing a similar thing?

-Hannity?

A:

Dear oh Jon, 

No, that would definitely be Trump.

I was going to list his contradictions, but there are too many so I will sum up, using an example from a friend-of-a-friend's Facebook: 

2009

Trump: Obama smells and he has dirt on his shoes. Are we really going to let a dirty man be president?

2015/16

Trump : Hillary SMELLS and has dog POO on her SHOES. She should be disqualified from even running, let alone becoming the next president. 

Present

Media: Mr. Trump smells....kind of like dog poo. 

White House/Hannity/etc.: Oh my gosh, freaking no he doesn't. I bet you don't even know what that smells like. Stop spreading lies. 

Media: Oh, we maybe found the source of the smell. It looks like President Trump stepped in dog poo. It's on his shoes. 

WH: What?? Why would you lie about that? That is not very polite to point out dirt on someone's shoe. Do you remember the stuff that was on Obama's shoes? Hmmm?? How come no one is talking about that?

Media: Okay but

Trump: I STEPPED IN POO AND NOW IT'S ON MY SHOES and it's fine and they are the greatest shoes so clearly they can't be ruined by poo. Oh, also, it's not from a dog. I like it smells kind of nice, if you ask me, which you probably are because I'm the president. Remember how I won fair and square? 

WH: Wait

Media: Wait

 

Yes it's dumb, but that doesn't make it inaccurate. *shurg*

Anyway. Keep watching late night stuff. I think Seth Meyers does a pretty excellent job of presenting facts stripped of political dressing while still being entertaining, but The Late Show and The Daily Show are also good, and lots of other shows aren't bad depending on your preference. 

And yeah, it's not "real" news, but at least they know that and own that.  To quote Trevor Noah in his Talk to Al Jazeera, 

"I don't have a news show. The Daily Show is a show about news and politics and essentially we comment on what is happening. Now I don't deny that that comes with a certain amount responsibility and opportunity, which I appreciate every single day, but this is where I critique the news and the media: It's one thing to criticize and fact check [politicians]; it's another thing to give the man [free and ample promotion].

....Everything [in media] is free attention and free platform. Everything is. But what is the intention of that? So as a comedy show, your job is to look for the truth and to find the laughter and to speak truth to power."

Take care,

-Auto Surf


0 Corrections