Apologies in advance. I started writing this and it just kind of got really long. Hopefully it's at least useful. When I started my answer, all Tally had was a comment about love including choice; I agree and offer my thoughts.
People Do Not Portray Falling In Love Accurately And This Makes Us Worry That We're Not In Love
I think it is completely normal that you are oscillating between really liking someone and shying away from really liking them. As I've dated Boyfriend (Man, Certainly?), I've had days where I like him, days where I wondered why we're still dating even though there's nothing really wrong (we've both had times in the past where we've considered calling it off), and days where I'm completely crazy about him.
The problem here is that society expects "being in love" to be a binary state: either you are (and it's great!) or you're not (and you should break up/not date them). For a lot of us, I don't think that's how it works.
Especially for someone as cautious in relationships as I am, falling for someone can be much more gradual. It reminds me of those workout charts for people who are learning to run. On the first day you will walk two minutes and then run one minute, then repeat. On the fifth day, you will walk one minute and run one minute, then repeat. On the tenth day, you will walk thirty seconds and then run one minute, then repeat. On the thirtieth day, you will run straight through. The point is that sometimes in relationships we walk forward, sometimes we sprint forward, and sometimes we may be standing still or even feeling like the day was a step backward. That's fine. It's okay to be in love a little bit after one really good date and then gradually feel like that more often around someone. Try to look at the trajectory rather than the way you feel at one particular instant.
Do you feel like moving forward with this person most of the time? Are the days when you don't like him less common than the days you do? (A quick aside: it's also worth considering the reasons for why you don't like him. Sometimes it's just because we just aren't madly in love all the time; that's fine. If it's because of things that he does, the way he treats you, or something like that, it's probably worth further consideration).
To Date or Not To Date: Framing the Question Correctly
I'd like to point out that although comparing being single with being in a relationship can be a helpful metric, it's also a comparison of apples to oranges. For those of us who want to end up in a relationship, it's important to realize that some of the benefits of singleness are probably a necessary sacrifice for any worthwhile relationship. Single people can stay out late and party on a whim. People in a relationship might get called in because their SO had a terrible day and needs a cuddle or word of comfort. Single people can flirt with whomever they want. People in a relationship are generally restricted to flirting with their SO, which may be an adjustment for the flirtatious among us even if we enjoy flirting with that particular person. To an extent, this is a good, better, best problem: being in a relationship will involve sacrificing good things as the opportunity for better or best things. If we pass on a relationship because we expect it to be better than being single all of the time or even in all ways, we may miss something amazing.
Insta-Best Friends: Another Way We Misconstrue Good Relationships
I don't know about you, but my best friends are my family. This is partially the product of having moved around as I grew up, but these are the people I know the best, trust the most, and love the most deeply. I've known them for 22 years. It would be utterly unfair (and probably actually unhealthy) of me to expect Boyfriend to be able to quickly make his way that deeply into my life. We've been exclusive for almost 6 months, and I still don't know him anywhere near as well as I know some of my friends or family. And you know what? That's fine.
When we're told to marry our best friend, I think that's a bit of an oversimplification. It can lead to the inference that the right person will simply morph into our "best friend," hopefully on a convenient Provo timescale of maybe a year or even less. Think about that. That's not entirely reasonable. A more helpful formulation is probably "choose your love; love your choice." Look at the person you're dating. Get to know them. Are they someone you WANT to be best friends with? If yes, then start acting like it. When that quote says to love your choice, love is a verb: an action that you take. Loving someone is more than just having a warm happy butterfly feeling around them; it involves learning about them, sacrificing for them, serving them, and teaching yourself to want the best for them and help them and be helped by them. Date someone to find out if they're who you want to be your best friend, and then start to become that with each other.
Escaping From Teen Novels: You Get To Pick Who You Fall In Love With
So, I have a weak spot for YA novels, particularly YA dystopias (although my reading has fallen off significantly since law school and Boyfriend. Go figure). These stories show you the heartwrenching drama of a "strong female protagonist" who finds herself torn by Heartless Fate between two guys (or one guy and some abstract concept, or whatever).
Fortunately, this isn't generally how it works in real life.
When I was in Young Women's, one of my leaders gave us excellent advice that I'm still realizing the value of. She told us to be careful of who we chose to date because we would marry someone we dated. Taking one step back from that, we'll also fall in love with one of the people we choose to date. The great thing about not being in the Hunger Games or some caste system or a bachelorette-style competition to win one man is that we get to pick who we are with. We get asked out, evaluate how we feel about the situation, and get to choose whether to say yes or no. We go on the date and get to decide whether or not we'd say yes again. Eventually, we get to decide whether we let him take our hand or kiss us goodnight or whether we go on Christmas vacation with his family. These are all things that we get to choose, and each decision can walk us a little further down the path of falling in love or can take us away from that person if we think that's better. While we can't choose everything, we get to choose our actions and those have a great effect on whether we fall and who we fall for.
People Who Love You Care About How You Feel
You say your boyfriend loves you. I've been in a situation where someone told me they loved me before I was ready to hear it, and that can be stressful because if you care about them at all, there's pressure to reciprocate before you're ready. A few thoughts here.
1. Highly Scientific Data from Match.com as reported by Marie Claire indicates that men may actually fall in love faster than women. It's okay if you're not where he is yet, or even if you're afraid to get where he is. Are you willing to keep moving forward and see what happens?
2. It can be awkward or difficult to have conversations about how a relationship is going, but it can be really helpful for some couples. One of the reasons Boyfriend and I have been able to survive our differences is that we communicate about things like fears or concerns. Thinking through (or even writing out) a script or list of bullet points can be a helpful way to determine what you need to communicate to someone if you get nervous like I do. Make it clear that you're bringing it up because you care about doing what's right for the both of you and you want his help to make sure you're both making the right decisions.
3. People who love us respect the way we feel. It may be a little hard to hear that someone isn't moving quite as fast as you or that they're still trying to figure things out, but someone who really loves you will want you to be as sure of them as they are of you. Love requires us to want what's best for the one we love, not just to want them. This includes wanting them to feel comfortable with things like the pace of the relationship and the level of affection (physical and verbal) shown.
Finally, remember that God is always there to listen and advise us as we struggle with the difficulties of learning about relationships and love. Christ is our ultimate example of love, and his Atonement covers all of the pain and fear we face. Prayer, scripture study, temple attendance, and priesthood blessings can all be powerful tools as we make decisions we don't (and maybe never would) feel entirely prepared for. It can be really difficult not to have a point of reference for where we are, but that doesn't mean we're in a bad place. Be patient with yourself and trust those who love you to do likewise.
Feel free to email me if you want to talk.