Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Question #83324 posted on 07/29/2015 10:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Did Castro really say "The United States will talk to us when they have a black President and the Pope is Latin American." like back in the 70s?

-Person

A:

Dear TARDIS,

I can't find any sourcing for it at all, so I'm guessing he never said it.

-Tally M.


0 Corrections
Question #83322 posted on 07/29/2015 7:23 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have been told by well-meaning friends that hardly any students at BYU are fans of the show "My Little Pony." These friends estimate that maybe only 1% of the population watch the show. Considering, however, that BYU actually has a My Little Pony club (with 269 members on facebook, at least) and that the majority of the BYU students who enjoy the show probably aren't members of that club, I think that estimate is a little low. What would you estimate the true percentage to be, and how would one go about figuring it out?

-Definitely Not a Brony ;)

A:

Dear Moist Chewing Sounds,

I emailed a friend who is a My Little Pony aficionado but werf hasn't responded. Sorry about that. Tell you what: Email me at ardilla(dot)feroz(at)theboard(dot)byu(edu) and if werf responds I'll tell you what she says.

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz


0 Corrections
Question #83296 posted on 07/29/2015 7:22 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I miss CATS, I miss Laser Jock, and I miss dastardly deeds.

I am preparing to take over the world, but i want to save BYU because of my affinity for its fine fudge.

Whilst finding bombers for my mission, i want to make sure i do not blow up the ASB, which has a unique X shape, but alas, my bombers are carpet bombers and will bomb most things. While i will tell them not to bomb BYU, i'm afraid when they see an "X" they will not be able to resist.

What culture should i select my bomber from so that the idea of 'X marks the spot" is foreign to him?

I would have for the asb to go BOOM

proprietor of Malice

A:

Dear dead,

Too many cultures embrace this idea. You'll have to start from scratch; raise a family off the grid and make sure they're not exposed to children's shows. 

In the mean time, we'll find your lair through a tracking device in the fudge and stop your crazed attacks on humanity be preparing fudge for you at a discounted price. 

-Auto Surf


0 Corrections
Question #83282 posted on 07/29/2015 7:22 p.m.
Q:

Dear Frère Rubik,

What would be the plot of a movie called Provokyo Drift? What songs would be included in the soundtrack in addition to this? Would there be sharks? Gymnastics?

-Stick It

A:

Dear To-The-Man-Eosis,

You walk into the dark theater, popcorn and drink in hand, looking for a good spot where you and your significant werf can enjoy the movie/disrupt others with your unruly NCMO's. 

Or perhaps you drive into a drive-in theater in your family's suburban with a bunch of your friends, caring less about the movie than you do about getting some extremely delicious hamburgers.

As you settle down into your seat and apply some chapstick/stand in line at the grill and avoid eye contact with old family acquaintances, you see it:

THE TRAILER.

---

Preview image.jpg

(Source)

Over a black screen, the following words appear:

He was the fastest driver in school.

Cut to clips of cars zooming around turns by the coast of California, cheering teenagers, and a shot of someone wearing sunglasses, as seen from their rear-view mirror. 

But after spending two years on his feet,

Cut to a shot of the main character, Shawn, hacking through vines in the Amazon rain forest as a missionary.

Happy valley is going to this hotshot a new kind of drift

A Mazda 3 is shown zooming down the rock canyon road on a snowy winter day.

That will leave him...

Cut to the interior of the Mazda. Shawn is driving, accompanied by his Japanese friend, Lee.

Lee: Slow down, man, you're taking this turn way too fast!

Shawn: I know what I'm doing! I've still got it!

...Ice Cold.

The Mazda skids across the road and plows into a snowbank on the opposite side. As steam rises from the hood, Lee shouts "I TOLD YOU!"

Next Election Day,

Squeeze's "Cool For Cats" begins to play as we see Shawn and Lee sitting at a table at The Wall.

Shawn: So what's this thing called again?

Lee: The Provo Underground Racing Circuit. It's a year-round racing competition around all of Utah county. And, someone from the Village Guys is always in the lead.

Shawn: You mean that weird disco band that came up with the Y.M.C.A.?

Lee: No, genius, that's The Village People. The Village Guys are a super-exclusive racing group that meet every Saturday under the Village.

As Lee says that, we see shots of bros wearing flat-billed hats and polo shirts, flexing their muscles, racing cars, and doing summer sales for security companies.

Lee: And again, they always win.

Shawn: Except for this year.

Lee: That's a nice sentiment, dreamboy. There's just three things:

He holds up a finger.

Lee: One, you can't drive worth a darn in the snow,

Cut to Shawn, blocking the exit to an apartment complex's parking lot, desperately trying to free his Mazda from the snow as a group of irate students look on.

Lee: Two, you've got no idea how to drive a stickshift,

Cut to Shawn, parked in a Station Wagon on a slight incline. He turns the key in the ignition, and the car's engine starts.

Shawn: Yes, yes, yes!

A second later, the engine cuts out, and the car starts rolling down the hill.

Shawn: No, no, no!

Back to Lee at The Wall.

Lee: And three, that Mazda of yours is going to get smoked off of the line. Every.

Cut to Shawn at the starting line of a race against two bros in Mustangs. The flag waves, and they zoom off, leaving him and his Mazda stuck at the line.

Lee: Single.

At the finish line of a different race, two chargers cross neck and neck, with Shawn's Mazda coming in a couple of car lengths behind.

Lee: Time.

The interior of Shawn's car. He pounds the steering wheel and hangs his head in frustration.

Cut back to Shawn, chewing pensively on some fries.

Shawn: Well, alright, sensei, if you're so wise, what do you suggest we do?

Lee sits back in his chair, slurping his Italian soda through a straw.

Lee: Well...I might know someone who can help.

Cut to Shawn and Lee walking into a garage, approaching someone who is working under a red Mini Cooper raised up on cinderblocks.

Lee: Hey, Mad Dog! How's it hanging? Listen, I know how things went the last time we met up...

Shawn: Yo, Mad Dog! My name's Shawn! How's it hanging bro..."

At this, the person rolls out from under the Mini on a skateboard, revealing a girl with blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, her face smudged with grease.

Shawn:...ooooo nope. Nope. You are not a bro.

The girl, Maddie, gives a disgusted sigh and then rolls back under the car.

Lee: Ooh, nice one. You just let that chauvinist side shine right on through.

The music changes to Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off," and we see Shawn, Lee, and Maddie at a table in the Snack Zone of the Library.

Shawn: So what exactly qualifies you to give me driving advice?

Maddie: I'm from Canada and I grew up helping my dad in his auto shop. If there's anything to know about snow or cars, I know it.

Shawn: Well, that's all well and good, but that still doesn't change the fact that you're a g---

Maddie winds back her arm, ready to slap Shawn.

Lee: Oh, you've done it now.

Shawn: Guuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

Maddie slaps Shawn across the cheek.

Maddie: That's for not having the guts to say it.

Shawn:...girl?

Maddie slaps his other cheek.

Maddie: And that's for saying it.

Lee laughs, Shawn rubs his cheeks sheepishly.

The shot cuts back to Maddie's garage, where her red Mini now sits finished on the floor.

Shawn: Alright, alright, you know your stuff. I'll give you that. But you honestly expect us to win in a Mini?

Maddie: You haven't seen this Mini in action yet.

Cut to an open road in the middle of the field, the Mini flying down it. Shawn yells in exhilaration; Maddie laughs.

Werf Werfenheimer

Various shots of Shawn: Racing his Mazda back in California, leaning out the Mini and pumping his fist after winning a race, smiling and turning to Maddie.

Werfette Werfenson

Shots of Maddie wiping sweat off of her face in her mechanic uniform, acrobatically jumping over two bros' shoulders, leaning in to kiss Shawn.

and Werf-Werf Werfon

Scenes of Lee eating a slice of pizza, helping Maddie fix up the Mini, and cheering at the front of a crowd as Shawn races by in the Mini.

with Werfin Werfington

Shots of the main Bro drinking a protein shake, slamming Shawn against a shark tank in an aquarium, and angrily trying to ram Shawn and Maddie in the Mini off the road while driving a Dodge Challenger.

In:

A head-on shot of the Mini and a Mustang charging toward the finish line.

The Blessed and the Furious: Provokyo Drift

Cut to Shawn sitting at a computer, then excitedly turning around.

Shawn: Hey guys, have you seen this? Sometimes the dress looks black and blue, other times it's white and gold!

Lee facepalms, Maddie rolls her eyes and walks away.

November 2016

With Music By:

Squeeze

Taylor Swift

Crash Test Dummies

R.E.M.

Talking Heads

Boston

Damien Rice

and more...

---

Awestruck, you are completely oblivious to your significant werf's attempts to hold your hand/the burger which you dropped into your lap and is now dripping sauce all over your good pants. 

Then, the next trailer plays, for The Divergent Games: Breaking Dawn and the Half-Blood Maze Runner, and you quickly snap back into your awkward, sticky, non-Provokian reality.

-Frère Rubik


0 Corrections
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is your opinion on the recent multilateral deal with Iran? What do you expect the short- and long-term results will be?

-homestarmy

A:

Dear Strong Mad,

I want Iran to get nuclear weapons. 

Parts of this agreement make me really excited because I love that the US will finally be normalizing relations with Iran, and I always think that is a good thing. However, if the deal goes down as it is planned over the next ten years, Iran won't be getting nuclear weapons; Israel's nuclear dominance in the Middle East will continue to be unopposed; instability will continue to abound in the region. 

Given this, I don't know if I actually want the deal to work out. I think it will in the short term, but I am less certain about long-term. 

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger 


0 Corrections
Question #83284 posted on 07/29/2015 12:28 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm sorry but I don't understand the point in buying a big ol' expensive casket with lots of cool features. For instance, a family friend recently moved her deceased child from one cemetery to another. Upon digging up the child's casket, it was discovered that water had gotten into the casket, which wasn't supposed to happen because the casket was labeled as waterproof. So they got a brand new gorgeous casket for free for their daughter who's been dead for over twenty years. I don't mean to sound insensitive but if the casket hadn't been dug up then no one would've known that water had snuck into the casket. I don't understand why it's preferable to have a waterproof casket or something equally expensive if the person is dead. Most people's graves won't be dug up so you wouldn't even know if bugs had gotten in or what. So why pay all this money on the deceased (granted, yes you do love them, I know) when it's just a body with no spirit? Everyone dies and we'll be resurrected some day so why pay so much in hopes that water doesn't reach the deceased (yes, this family is LDS so they do know there is an afterlife)? I can understand them wanting the best for their kid but I just can't comprehend supporting the whole funeral director business taking full advantage of those in mourning and why families buy into it. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I don't mean to. I know how it feels to lose a loved one, as I lost two sisters. I'm just trying to be straightforward.

-Red Skeleton

A:

Dear Soggy Dollar,

Speaking of different things that are valuable to different people, some people take the opposite tack and go for readily biodegradable caskets, or cremate their loved ones. 
Interestingly enough, this doesn't seem to be any cheaper. I imagine the people in funeral businesses recognize people will pay money in these circumstances.

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz

P.S. How did they find out water got into the casket? I hope they didn't open it up, because that is nasty.
P.P.S. Board Question #22097 talks more about postmortem putrefaction, since you were so keenly interested in knowing... Also, I guess some states require caskets be placed in concrete boxes because of the toxic chemicals used in embalming. There may be a Board question about that somewhere, but I can't find it.


0 Corrections
Question #83317 posted on 07/29/2015 12:27 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Fact #5 mentions that a real neighborhood was used to film Edward Scissorhands. Are the homes still painted in pastel colors or were they changed back once filming ended?

Also, fact #4 says that Stan Winston, the makeup artist, came up with the idea that Edward's hands should really be made of scissors. So did the title Edward Scissorhands come because of Winston or was that the movie's name before Winston had the idea?

-Lucy the Splendid

A:

Dear Lucy,

IMDb claims that the neighborhood used was Carpenter's Run in Lutz, Florida. Specifically, it says that the inventor's house was at the end of Tinsmith Circle. The Telegraph corroborates this claim, and offers a more recent picture (more recent than the film, anyway; I couldn't find a date for the article) for comparison. As you can see (and further see by looking at the Street View), the neighborhood has changed quite a bit in the 25 years since the movie came out; really big, shady trees have grown up, and the houses are definitely not pastel colored anymore (I'm not even sure if those are the same houses).

As far as the scissorhands go, the Stan Winston School of Character Arts' website gives a little more detail. It says that the movie came from a sketch that Tim Burton had made when he was a teenager and feeling lonely and isolated. The character in this sketch had long lines for fingers, which were apparently meant to be sharp, unfinished pieces of metal. That was the original idea for Edward Scissorhands. But, Winston had the idea to make the shards of metal actual scissors, which Tim Burton liked and decided to keep for the movie.

-Frère Rubik


0 Corrections
Question #83297 posted on 07/29/2015 12:26 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I've noticed that my right eyelid is a little more closed than my left. After doing a simple eye dominance test I have discovered that I am left-eye dominant. Is it common for people's non-dominant eyelid to be a little droopier?

-Spectre

A:

Dear Spectre Patronum,

The results of this study "suggest that levator muscle tone is influenced by eye dominance when ptosis is present. The preoperative evaluation of unilateral or asymmetrical bilateral ptosis cases should include the Scobee and phenylephrine tests to unmask contralateral upper lid pseudoretraction."

If I'm understanding the terminology correctly, which I'm very possibly not, I think that the answer to your question is "yes." Therefore go your way and fear no more; you are quite normal. 

-Auto Surf


0 Corrections
Question #83320 posted on 07/29/2015 12:02 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the difference between Larson Precalculus 6th Edition (ISBN 0618314342) and Larson Precalculus 6th Edition AP Version (ISBN 0618314350) (same cover, but a little yellow star with "For Advanced High School Students" written on it)?

-Book Buyer

A:

Dear Book Buyer,

After searching both the Cengage and the Houghton Mifflin Harcourt websites, I have no idea what the difference is. Your professor may be able to tell you.

Yours, &c.

Heidi Book


0 Corrections
Question #83318 posted on 07/29/2015 8:32 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have a (guy) friend going on a mission soon. We're pretty close (best friends) and I was thinking I want to send him something small to keep with him, just a small reminder of our friendship and that I'm proud of him. I want to avoid something that would be distracting from his mission though (for instance, I know that dousing a letter with perfume is not a good idea).

Any suggestions (whether it be a medium for a personalized thing or a certain object etc) or cautions? Is this actually a bad idea or should it be okay?

-mega-best (female) friend

A:

Dear MBFF,

I think that's fine; just prepare not to be heartbroken if he loses it, forgets about it, or doesn't treat it like its important. That isn't necessarily a reflection of how he sees you. I'd suggest something useful. Like a nice pen, tie, notebook, whiteboard, calendar, CD of hymns, or religious picture/quote. Or something fun, like a Rubik's Cube, harmonica, silly putty, or back scratcher. Something that has value in and of itself, and not just because of its connection to you. Otherwise he might feel awkward explaining it to other missionaries, feel guilty not letting go of a potential distraction, or just not appreciate it very much. Thus, I'd recommend you not give him any jewelry or useless knick-knacks.

A photo of you? That's debatable--you be the judge.

-El-ahrairah


0 Corrections
Question #83319 posted on 07/29/2015 8:14 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I don't want to subscribe to the newspaper because it's too expensive. Where can I buy just the Sunday paper (for the coupons) but not actually buy it on Sunday? Do places have leftovers where I can buy on Monday? How can I get that paper?

-Money Saving?

A:

Dear Doctor,

Some newspapers allow you to just buy a Sunday paper subscription, so that may be something you can look into.

-Tally M.

A:

Dear Money Saving,

If you're a BYU student (or a student at any half-decent university), you can probably get online access to a bunch of higher-end newspapers for free. Just go to the library website, make sure you're logged in, and type the name of the newspaper you're interested in getting.

No guarantee that they come with the coupons, but you might also consider actually reading the news.

Yours, &c.

Heidi Book

A:

Dear you,

See also Board Question #71265.

-Zedability


0 Corrections
Question #83287 posted on 07/29/2015 8:02 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the highest-paying categories of temporary (~1 year expected full-time tenure) jobs in or near Utah County?

-need money for grad school, don't care where it comes from, no clue where to look for it

A:

Dear future me,

The highest-paying temp jobs generally deal with software development, nursing, or human resources. 

The highest-paying jobs for you will depend on your skill-sets and experiences. Since we don't have that information, it might be best to visit a local employment agency

Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Good luck in your quest! 

-Auto Surf


0 Corrections
Question #83316 posted on 07/29/2015 8:02 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Can Rick Grimes from "The Walking Dead" handle the flow?

-Carl Poppa

A:

Dear Poppa Carl,

Can Rick handle the flow? Can any of us handle the flow? What is the flow? What is reality? I mean, that lamppost is reality, man. A nuclear bomb could go off, and BAM! You and I would both be dead. But do you know what would still be there? THE LAMPPOST, MAN. THE LAMPPOST.

-Frère Rubik, channeling a hobo guy who was camped out in front of the White House nearly ten years ago.


0 Corrections
Question #83315 posted on 07/29/2015 4:38 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is the plot twist of "The Walking Dead" that Rick Grimes is actually still in a coma? Or did he really die, and is in a hell that has no series finale?

"You cannot handle the flow, son"
--Carl Poppa

A:

Dear Carl,

No. The plot twist is that we're all zombies, and he's the weird one. Oh, and you.

-El-ahrairah


0 Corrections
Question #83314 posted on 07/29/2015 4:32 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If dinosaur bones and fossils have been around for uber-long epochs of time, why is it that our modern civilization seems to be the only one that ever knew about them? Did the other guys just see huge bones and toss them to the side? Unlikely. Why didn't they prize them and put them on display? Or at the very least make drawings or sketches or some other record of some kind?

What does the BYU professor of extinct behemoth lizards say?

-Velociraptorsaurus Rexburg, ID 83460. I'll be waiting.

A:

Dear Bureau of Orbital Decay,

It looks like you wanted a response from someone you felt was more authoritative than us, and I got it. I emailed Dr. Brooks Britt, a paleontologist and professor here at BYU. He was kind enough to respond to your question and I invite you to listen openly to what he is saying.

Native Americans used fossil wood to make points and they flaked dinosaur bone.  Likewise they used fossils such as trilobites in jewelry. The Egyptians built large portions of the pyramids using stone consisting almost entirely of fossil foraminifera. In fact, every building made of limestone is made of fossils, including the Manti temple which has fossil bones in the limestone blocks. Asian societies have long used "dragon bone" (fossil bone including dinosaur bone) in traditional medicine. 15,000 years ago ancient peoples built houses out of mammoth bones, and in the 1800s people in Wyoming stacked dinosaur bones to make a cabin.

Your question implies there is a conspiracy regarding fossils (that is, fossils are a recent invention of man) because ancient cultures were not aware of fossils.  The abbreviated list above shows that fossils were utilized by ancient as well as modern cultures.

It does seem you think dinosaurs and fossils are deceptive in some way. I feel differently about them. For me, they are testaments to God's endless creativity and imagination.  Remember that Alma once said "all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator." Accepting that dinosaurs are legit does not detract from your testimony of God but augments it.

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz

P.S. You might find this Reddit Ask a Historian thread about dinosaurs to be interesting. Thanks, M.O.D.A.Q.

P.P.S. The existence of dinosaurs is also evidence God is really cool.


0 Corrections
Question #83313 posted on 07/29/2015 4:14 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why do women want to look pretty?

-The Exquisite

A:

Dear Amy,

It makes me feel good. It's sort of a mask that helps remind me that I am confident. When I'm wearing sweatpants, I feel like the kind of person that wears sweatpants. But when I dress up, I feel like the kind of person that can do great things. And plus, the clicking sound of heels as I'm walking is kind of nice.

-Tally M.


0 Corrections
Question #83311 posted on 07/29/2015 12:26 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What do you do when someone you know and respect says something completely terrible? For example, suppose a close family member said the n-word or stated that there's a reason members of whatever group get raped. What if you were too shocked to really say anything at the time? Do you bring it up later or just let it go?

-Disgusted

A:

Dear Human,

You should bring it up with them. If it was something inappropriate or offensive, they need to have that conversation.

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger 


0 Corrections
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Question #83307 posted on 07/28/2015 8:48 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you could go back in time to high school and tell yourself three things, what would they be?

Also, if you could go back in time and tell any other person only one thing, what would it be?

-Ajisai

A:

Dear TARDIS,

High School Tally:

  1. You keep saying friendships are important to you, so make them important. Be willing to take time to hang out with people, because otherwise you'll wonder why you only have memories of spending time with friends your senior year.
  2. Stop going back to him. I know you want him to be your friend, but it's really not worth it. Tell him that you don't like the way he treats you and move on. Besides, you would never end up him and he doesn't really change. 
  3. You aren't going to get married your sophomore year. Let the years come and go without worrying if this is the one that it'll happen.

Mother M. just before she gave birth to me:

  1. I promise, they aren't trying to exclude you. Let Father M. talk to me in [redacted] from the beginning and I promise, down the road I'll have just as good of a connection with you as I do with him.

-Tally M.

A:

Dear Hardcover Life,

For Past Ardilla:

  1. She won't marry that loser, but she won't marry you either. You should probably just get over it. Who, then? Her MTC teacher. Gross, I know.
  2. College is going to take longer than you expect, don't let the frustrating semesters get you down. No, I don't know how long it will take. Hopefully Futurer self will show up and clarify that mess.
  3. Enjoy the feeling of purposeful direction you currently enjoy. Savor it, cherish it, because one night you'll set it down and forget where you put it in the morning.

For Werf:

  1. "You're a wizard, Harry."
Suerte,
 
--Ardilla Feroz
A:

Dear Ajisai,

Dear past self,

  • You won't always have to feel this way. Things will be better soon. 
  • But sometimes things will be worse. Inescapably worse. 
  • Keep trying. You are worth it, even when you don't feel like it. 

-A writer


0 Corrections
Question #83310 posted on 07/28/2015 8:26 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Just curious, why do women wear bras with lace and designs on them if no one other than them will see it and it's not lingerie? Here's an example. It confuses me because if you're wearing a lightweight shirt you can pretty much see the bra's uneven surface.

-nordo

A:

Dear you,

I kind of like to feel sexy just for the fun of it, even though no one except my roommate will ever see my lacy bras.

Yours, &c.

Heidi Book

A:

Dear The Effortless Costumes,

You're probably aware there's lots of clothing that is woven loosely, knitted, crocheted, sheer, or in some other way makes it rather possible to see what is being worn underneath.
Also, remember that attitudes towards casual sex vary widely in the world.

Just sayin',

--Ardilla Feroz


0 Corrections
Question #83309 posted on 07/28/2015 8:08 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My roomates say that guys only think about dating you if you wear high heels. I don't wear high heels a lot. They hurt your feet, and they're not very practical. Why do guys like high heels so much? Do I have a chance if I don't wear them?

-Out of luck

A:

Dear Lucky,

That thought ("I'm only going to date women who wear high heels") has literally never crossed my mind. In fact, I don't understand women who wear them all the time. I ask them if it hurts, and they actually say that they don't mind very much. I really don't understand how walking on tiptoe all the time could be comfortable at all.

There are plenty of fish in the sea that don't care about high heels; go chase after one of them.

-Frère Rubik

A:

Dear poor leprechaun, 

I've recently discovered that heels are an unnecessary evil. Yeah, they make your calves look good and accent your silhouette, but, like you said, they are impractical and painful. If a guy will only ask out a girl who wears heels, I probably don't want to date him in the first place. Luckily, there are lots of guys who don't think this way, so you wear your flats all you want, honey. 

-Auto Surf

A:

Dear Definitely Not Out of Luck,

I just want to say that that's the dumbest thing I've heard all day.

That is all.

-Vienna, fellow hater of heels

A:

Dear Frère Rubik,

I don't believe I've ever seen a fish with heels, in or out of the sea.

Dear luck,

I'll stand as a fourth witness and second male witness: I care nothing for heels. In fact, I don't think I hone in on one particular feature when I see a girl; I just get an overall sense of how much I like her looks. Additionally, I care that she thinks of herself as pretty. Owlet sometimes feels more elegant when she wears heels, so I support her (sometimes literally) in that, but the only time I suggest she change her footwear is when I think she won't want heels where we're going.

-El-ahrairah


0 Corrections
Question #83265 posted on 07/28/2015 5:50 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I've read some news articles recently, all with pretty much the same headline that says "Russian Billionaire and Stephen Hawking Launch New Alien-Hunting Effort."

Everybody knows who Stephen Hawking is, and the articles all name Yuri Milner as the money man who is the source of the $100 million. But none of the articles say exactly what Stephen Hawking has to do with it. What is he doing to be connected with this thing?

-Al

A:

Dear Haley Joel Osment,

I assume that the entire endeavor was Stephen Hawking's idea, and that Yuri Milner heard of the idea and then decided to fund it.

-Frère Rubik.


0 Corrections
Question #83306 posted on 07/28/2015 4:56 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board Friends,

What age are you expecting to live to? Why do you have that number in mind? Do you expect to outlive your (future) spouse?

-Life Expectancy - referring to days until the kid is born.

A:

Dear The Good Grief,

Seventy-five or eighty.

This last year, I asked my mom how long she wanted to live. She replied she'd be cool with dying at age eighty. This initially shocked (and angered) me a little bit. Why wouldn't she want to live as long as possible?
She explained that while many people now live into and beyond their eighties, their quality of life is rarely decent. Most people aren't prolonging their life, but merely postponing their deaths.

Says Ezekiel J. Emanuel for The Atlantic in "Why I Hope to Die at 75,"

...Here is a simple truth that many of us seem to resist: living too long is also a loss. It renders many of us, if not disabled, then faltering and declining, a state that may not be worse than death but is nonetheless deprived. It robs us of our creativity and ability to contribute to work, society, the world. It transforms how people experience us, relate to us, and, most important, remember us. We are no longer remembered as vibrant and engaged but as feeble, ineffectual, even pathetic... American immortals may live longer than their parents, but they are likely to be more incapacitated. Does that sound very desirable? Not to me.

He goes on to explain that most of us feel like we'll be outliers to the effects of aging, but statistically it's much more likely we will become physically or mentally ill. As for me, one side of my family has a proclivity for obesity and diabetes, while my dear grandfather on the other side of the family wasted away at the age of sixty-five. 

Obviously, I hope to be healthy for a while, but in the meantime it makes more sense for me to spend my youth watching cat videos live as meaningfully as I know how while I still can. 

I don't think I'll outlive my spouse. Women outlive men on average, and given my habit of stuffing things I find on the ground into my mouth to test to see if they are edible I wouldn't vote myself "Most Likely Guy to Buck the Trend." 

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz

A:

Dear Life,

I think I'm going to live into my 90's. My great-great grandpa died at 94; my great-grandpa died at 98. My grandpa died of cancer at 79, but there's not really a history of it in my family and he was the picture of good health before he was diagnosed and started going through chemotherapy. 

In all actuality, though, I think I'm going to live for a long time for a different reason, and so I tend to look at my ancestors' long lives as more of supporting evidence of that. It's kind of a personal thing, though, so you'll have to forgive me for not elaborating further.

With that in mind, it seems likely that I could outlive my future spouse...but I hope I don't. At least, not for long if I have to. I can't imagine how it felt for President Monson; he'd been married to Sister Monson for nearly 65 years before she passed. Having someone as a part of your life for so long and then suddenly...not having them...it just seems so lonely.

-Frère Rubik

A:

Dear Expectant,

"Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born.

I believe I am that human being."

-Chris Traeger, Parks and Recreation


0 Corrections
Question #83304 posted on 07/28/2015 4:33 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Wow, I forget time moves when I don't log in. So many of you have changed!!!

I'm hoping there are still several world travelers on the writing staff. My dad and I were talking about a family vacation and he made a comment about how annoying it is to travel when you have garments. They take up so much space.

But I know lots of members backpack and "travel light." How do you travel lightly or pack a backpack for a 2 or 3 month trek with garments? How do you keep them private when staying in hostels and such?

Thanks, as always,

~Smurf Blue Snuggie

A:

Dear TARDIS,

MSJ answered a question similar to this, basically saying that you can wear other underwear underneath and make things a bit easier to deal with by not having to change/wash garments as often. When staying in hostels, I'd assume it's just easiest to change as if there's nothing special, and if someone asks, don't make a huge deal out of it. If you're really sensitive/worried about it, change in a bathroom.

-Tally M.


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Question #83303 posted on 07/28/2015 4:32 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Zed recently linked to this article which is, essentially, just advice on how to become a better person.

For various reasons, over the past two years, I've really become someone I don't like, and I look at that list of ten things and I can honestly say I'm not doing any of them...it seems so daunting of a task to start them all at once (and conceptually I know that just isn't realistic)...but I know not doing those things is hindering me personally and is hindering my relationships with family, friends and even potential boyfriends, so I want to get fixed NOW.

Where would you start, if you weren't doing any of those things? Where would you start to make changes if you liked who you were two years ago better than the person you are today?

-M.N.H.

A:

Dear Doctor,

My original placeholder simply said, "Small. And that's not a short joke." But the thing is, sometimes you have to start making big changes in your life before you're in a position to make small ones.

My recommendation would be to start habits of daily prayer, daily scripture study, and if possible, regular temple attendance. As you do those things, many of the other principles will fall into place. However, as you work on those habits, I would recommend choosing a principle to focus on. Whether it's daily, weekly, or until you feel like you've significantly improved, pick something that you can more fully incorporate into your life. For each of these principles, I've listed a couple of ideas of things that you can try to do to work towards improvement.

  1. Come to the Lord. Attend regular church meetings and seek for the Spirit that is there. Find quiet places and times to reflect on your life and how He can help you to improve. 

  2. Study the scriptures with constant prayer, praying to feel the Lord’s acceptance. 

  3. Be pure. Go through your music/movies/books and find things that you feel don't live up to the standard you would ideally like to be living; get rid of them. Be willing to change your vocabulary (fake swear words as well as real ones), and take note that you are an uplifting conversationalist.

  4. Cultivate a spirit of appreciation. Start a gratitude journal. Let people know that you appreciate things they do for you or for other people. Thank Heavenly Father for blessings in your prayers.
  5. Do not compare yourself with other people. If you're finding yourself feeling less than others, think of two things that you are good at. If you're finding yourself putting your worth above others, think of something you need to improve on. 

  6. Serve others for righteous reasons. Find opportunities to serve, whether with a specific organization or just those around you. Ask Heavenly Father each day for an opportunity to serve. Learn to identify needs and then fill them.

  7. Cultivate friendships with individuals you can listen to and share with. Join an organization of people with whom you have similar interests. Meet those who live near you. Be willing to step outside your comfort zone a little bit. Make sure to listen just as much as you talk. It's okay to be a homebody, but make sure that you make time for interactions with other people on a regular basis.

  8. Date regularly, but date those who have similar interests. If you're a girl, there's only so much you can do. Feel free to ask guys out, be flirtatious, but don't beat yourself up if you're not getting asked out. And don't mope around the house. Become friends with the guys around you and learn what qualities you desire to improve on in yourself and what qualities you want a future spouse to have. If you're a guy, be willing to be rejected. It's not easy, but just because she might say no doesn't mean that you're any less of a person. 

  9. Be prepared to choose, using a proper balance between agency and inspiration. Practice making choices now on things that aren't marriage. Make a decision based on a careful evaluation of the facts, and then go to Heavenly Father in prayer with that decision and await the answer that will follow.
  10. Forgive everyone, especially those who may be partly responsible for your fear of marriage. Forgive everyone every day. Even on small things that may not seem to need forgiveness. Forgive your classmate for the annoying pencil tapping. Forgive your roommate for her dirty dishes. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes.

-Tally M.


0 Corrections
Question #83295 posted on 07/28/2015 2:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I had been talking to a guy online for two months before meeting. I had never been in a relationship before and really no experience with boys. I am also extremely shy. This guy however was a couple years older and divorced. I am 20 and this guy knew I'd never been kissed before. Anyway fast forward to three months ago. We met for the first time, went to eat then saw a movie. After the movie he asked what I wanted to do and I said I didn't know. Then he kissed me! I was totally not expecting that. Remember I had NO experience with boys and didn't know what to do. Back to the kiss, pretty soon after he kissed me he introduced the tongue. But, yeah, my first kiss was a french kiss. Then it pretty much turned into a makeout session. I know I should've stuck up for myself and said whooooooaaaaaa. You're moving way too fast. Bye. But I liked having attention because I've never had male attention before.

I guess my question is this. If a guy knows he's giving you your first kiss and he introduces the tongue, does that mean anything? This kiss wasn't romantic at all and I thought mine would involve me being head over heels with the guy. I don't know, but it seems to me if he just wanted to makeout then I was being used. Do you think so? I mean, yes, we hung out for the rest of the week and basically all we did was makeout. I feel like a tramp admitting this. O well. But do you think a first kiss should be a french kiss or not? I'd like explanations so if I ever get kissed again I'll know what to do. Sorry this is all over the place. But do you think a french kiss in the beginning signifies lust whereas a nice kiss without tongue shows that you're respecting the other person more?

-My Name Here

A:

Dear Here,

My first kiss involved a lot more tongue than I was expecting. While I don't ever mention that when I've mentioned my first kiss, at least partly because I think I've felt the same way, I also think we were also just both really inexperienced. I agree with what Heidi says below: to some people it's more based on lust, while for others it's a lack of experience.

The biggest thing is that you shouldn't feel like a tramp.

-Writer

A:

Dear friend,

No, don't feel like a tramp. Kissing is hard to navigate even in the best of circumstances. I accidentally let the same thing happen on my first kiss - not because I felt some intense, uncontrollable passion, but rather because I didn't feel particularly passionate, and "no passionate kissing" was the only rule I'd ever known to set for myself. Tongue can mean different things to different people. For some, it's probably an expression of lust; for others, it's simply more affectionate. Some don't see it as any different from no-tongue kissing. For the poor guy I kissed, it was just an I've-only-kissed-one-other-girl-before-and-don't-know-what-the-heck-I'm-doing thing. 

And you're not a tramp for making out with him for the rest of the week, either. You were still trying to get your feelings worked out. Now that you've encountered the physical side of relationships, it'll be easier to make sense of what's going on in the future. You'll have a better idea of how far you're comfortable with taking it and a keener sense for when you're being taken advantage of.

Really, don't let this worry you. There are more and better experiences to come.

Yours, &c.

Heidi Book 


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Question #83305 posted on 07/28/2015 2:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear Terrible Scientist,

What are your thoughts about global warming?

-Daisy Buchanan

A:

Dear Daisy,

Terrible (or "Terry" as we've come to call him) is currently in the Antarctic studying the mating patterns of tropical birds. We'll try to forward your question on to him, but he insists that "e-mail travels slower in the cold" and that "it won't get to [him] in time."

-the Board


0 Corrections
Posted on 07/28/2015 10:23 a.m. New Correction on: #83285 I've heard that you should get a used car checked by a mechanic before you buy ...
Question #83292 posted on 07/28/2015 9:38 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Some questions about representation and the media. For the purpose of this question I am specifically talking about the representation of LGBT people, not the representation of people of various races or ethnicity.

-What are your first thoughts on representation and media (in this context)?
-Do you think it's possible to have representation in the media without condoning the sins? (I can only picture it as having the characters represent the minority of people who are both religious and LGBT and don't act on their feelings because of their religion).
-If we can't have this sort of representation in the media without condoning the sin should we avoid the representation?
-If we avoid the representation, how do we foster an environment and society at large that contributes to there being less stress/anxiety/depression/fear amount LGBT people (still without condoning the sin)?
-Final thoughts?

Thanks,

pistachio pudding

A:

Dear Doctor,

The writers actually shared some thoughts on this in Board Question #80454.

-Tally M.

A:

Dear you,

I think it's possible to portray LGBTQ+ individuals in the media without moralizing either way. For instance, have a dynamic, fleshed-out character and show their actual life like a normal person in the context of the show - in a crime show, they could be one of the cops, in a comedy they could be a member of the main character set, in sci-fi they can be one of the scientists. Whatever. Randomly distribute them among roles the same way straight people can play any role. And then just have it be a fact in the show that they're gay. This can come up very easily, like "hey Karen from accounting thinks you're cute, you should ask her out" "Well I'm gay so..."* End of story. You don't even have to know whether or not this gay person is dating another guy, the same way you don't know the romantic status of a good deal of straight characters in TV shows or movies. However, I think it's beneficial to portray the LGBTQ+ community in the media because they are normal people just like us. If the only time a gay or trans or queer person shows up on TV is in the context of their stereotypes, it's going to make it a lot harder for real people to find acceptance in their families or places of work or just life in general. Regardless of what anyone chooses to do about being gay, I don't think anyone wants to feel like they're walking around with this neon sign with one fact about them that people are going to judge them by for the rest of their lives. I think a lot of them just want to be seen as regular people, so let's portray them as regular people.

I'll also say that it doesn't really bother me when the media portrays LGBTQ+ people dating or getting married or whatever. Captain Kirk hooks up with every alien woman he can, but that didn't somehow make me think that premarital sex would be okay. Gracie gets the entire police station coffee in Miss Congeniality 2 and it didn't make me want to break the Word of Wisdom OR cut to the front of the line next time I was at a store, even at the impressionable age of 13. Likewise, I can handle Mitch and Cam giving each other a kiss on Modern Family. Just my opinion. Regardless of your opinion on that, though, my point remains that it's possible to include LBGTQ+ characters on a show without the show revolving around their sexuality, and that can help us learn to interact with other people without getting hung up on their sexuality. For instance, I went to Nordstrom's in Salt Lake a few months ago and one of the people working there was trans. They showed me where to find the department I was looking for and we had a nice conversation on the way. Their sexuality or gender identity didn't really matter in that situation and it would be unfortunate for someone to feel uncomfortable and be rude in that kind of situation just because they don't know how to see LGBTQ+ people as just people. Similarly, when I move away from Utah someday, I want to be able to be office friends with anyone at work without worrying about their orientation, and if one of my kids ended up being gay, I'd want them to know that I'd continue to see them as the same person they were before they told me. What we see in the media can influence our ability to do that, and one of the ways it can influence us is by having LGBTQ+ characters who aren't brought up only when their sexuality is relevant.

-Zedability

*Except the script would actually have good writing and not come across weird the way this hypothetical conversation is.


0 Corrections