"We wish we were Obi-Wan Kenobi, and for the most part we are, but there's a little Darth Vader in all of us." -Chris Stevens

We are pleased to announce the third annual Board Reunion Tour! Participating retired writers can answer questions during the week of March 27-April 3.

Question #81789 posted on 03/30/2015 5:26 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,
Which is more effective in finding an eternal companion, Tinder, YSA activites, or random calls through the BYU directory?

-On the hunt

A:

Dear you,

YSA Activities.

 boardpic.jpg

 

~Anne, Certainly

A:

Dear World,

More or less called it.

~Professor Kirke


0 Comments
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Question #81783 posted on 03/29/2015 9:26 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why are you supposed to air dry bras?

-pregunton

A:

Dear pregunton,

Because dryers are serial bra-killers. Seriously. They can mangle the straps, get the hooks caught in other parts of the bra and rip it up, and most importantly, create weird creases in molded cups that will never, ever allow you to wear that bra with a fitted t-shirt ever again. That's not to mention shrinking issues.

If you typically buy cheap bras and aren't worried about replacing them, I guess you could go for it anyways. Using a dryer instead of air drying does tend to make the band tighter, which is nice. But air drying bras definitely helps them retain their shape and functionality longer, which is important if you're investing in good-quality bras.

If you want, you could use a bra wash bag to offset some of these effects, but they're really intended for washers more than dryers.

-Zedability


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Question #81768 posted on 03/29/2015 8:30 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

It's a Tuesday night. I finished almost all of my homework and got some work done on updating my resume. Classes went fine, and I was able to see friends throughout the day. I even had time for some Smash Bros. and a couple of episodes of Parks and Rec. And, I did all of this early enough to get a decent amount of sleep tonight.

And yet...somewhere inside I just feel kind of empty and dissatisfied.

Part of it could be hunger, I suppose. But I also sense something deeper.

I'm not really asking you to solve this for me. This is likely something personal that I'll just need to spend some time working out for myself.

I'm just wondering, do you feel this way sometimes? Do you know why you feel like this? And what do you do to make things better?

-Sitting and Waiting

A:

Dear Waiting,

I think we all know the feeling you are talking about. One of the great challenges of life is determining what fulfills us, and you are right when you say that it's something we each have to figure out for ourselves.

For a long time, I wan't sure what made me feel fulfilled. I tried putting everything I have into school and that didn't work. I tried putting all my focus into music and that turned out a little better, but still not great.

I finally figured out that, for me, what makes me feel fulfilled is the feeling that I am influencing the lives of others for good. For so long, I thought I would find fulfillment by focusing on my own goals, but it it turns out I am much happier when I focus on what I can do to make others' lives better.

Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not perfect at this, but just knowing that I am trying helps me to feel fulfilled.

So, on days when I am feeling unfulfilled, the best thing I can do to make it better is to be around people—to listen to them, to laugh with them, to help them if I can, and to accept their help when I need it.

Some other things that help me to feel fulfilled are scripture study, temple attendance, writing songs, creating things, traveling, spending time out in nature, writing in my journal, and going to the gym.

Also remember that you can always pray for Heavenly Father's help to figure out what things will make your life feel more fulfilling. Good luck!

Love,

Vienna

A:

Dear siddanwaid,

Honestly, I felt like that for like a month before I met Madam Insomniac. I wondered what was going on, because I had a good job, school was going well, I had a great time with my roommates every day, I was doing well spiritually, etc. Finally I determined that I was desperately lonely, which was still weird. I was rooming with two of my best friends and we lived in the most awesome singles' ward ever. But the fact remained that there was something (or in this case, someone) missing from my life. So I prayed about it and not two weeks later met the woman who would later become my wife.

Anyway, that is to say that I had needs that weren't being met at that time, even though I was in an otherwise great situation. I'd do some self-evaluating to try and find what's missing.

-Inverse Insomniac

A:

Dear Demeter,

These are the first three things that stood out to me that might have been missing from your day:

  1. Building relationships, although you did mention seeing friends.
  2. Spiritual stuff. I'll be the cheesy one and say that Church-related things help me feel fulfilled, like praying, studying, doing things for my calling, etc.
  3. Having a hobby. I'm not sure if Smash Bros. and Parks and Rec. count as hobbies. Some people feel more satisfied when they engage in a creative or physical activity.
After I made that list, I realized there are actually so many other things that could be it. Like, what kinds of food did you eat? Do you exercise regularly? What opportunities have you had to serve others lately? Like you said, this is something you'll likely need to figure out on your own, but maybe those are some starting points for you.
 
In the end, it could just be one of those days. I think we all have them now and then. Sometimes I know why I feel like this, sometimes I don't. If you're stuck in a funk, think back on it tomorrow or next week when you're not feeling this way, and it might help you to put things into perspective. One of my favorite quotes recently is from Boyd K. Packer: "Teach our members that if they have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life." Here's another similar one from him: "It helps a great deal if we realize that there is a certain healthy element in getting the blues occasionally. It is quite in order to schedule a good, discouraging, depressing day every now and again just for contrast."
 
-Owlet
A:

Dear S&W,

Oh man that totally describes much of my life about 5 years ago. I had just graduated from BYU and moved to Boston to start the next chapter of my life. I was living in one of the coolest cities in the world and surrounded by people at church and school who I liked and who liked me. I was in the stage of my education that I was proactively getting all my work done and I was, if I may say so, destroying my grad school courses. This was the life, right? But as the months wore on, I felt that gnawing feeling on my soul that made me feel empty, unfulfilled, and worthless. When I examined my life, I found that I had holes that I was ignoring. My testimony was stagnating, I was developing an addiction to pornography, and I was single and had few close friends.

So I did what Vienna, Insomniac, and Owlet suggested. I worked on getting more spiritual, more socially well-rounded, and more generous. I joined the Church's 12 step program for addiction recovery. I formed closer friendships with people, studied the scriptures more, and tried to get myself into a better place by looking outside of myself. I started working in the temple once a week. I met my wife and got married. I have a kid. I'm working my dream job. I can say with absolute honesty that my life has become more meaningful to me in larger steps over the last 5 years than at any other time in my life. By and large, I am generally happy and content with my life.

But sometimes I still feel empty.

With all respect to Vienna, Insomniac, and Owlet, I think it's important to realize that you can be doing everything right and still feel like something's wrong. And I think it's wrong to say that feeling that way means that you necessarily need to find something in your life to fix. Sometimes it does. But sometimes, even when your life should be fulfilling and you're making all the right moves and doing all the right things, you still feel empty. I mean, that's life, right? We are imperfect people in an imperfect world that basically never works the way we expect it to (for good or for bad). Much of the time, doing all the right things makes you feel good. Some of the time, it doesn't.

When I feel unfulfilled, I do take some time to reflect on my life and see if I can identify some things I can be doing better. But for my own mental health, it's really important for me to recognize that there might not be a reason today. It's nice to be able to say, "this is just one of those times that I can't explain why I feel this way." I acknowledge it and then I wait for it to be over.

I realize that this might not be very comforting. But I can say that I get out of those funks faster and healthier (less frequently resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating or pornography) when I acknowledge it for what it is instead of scurrying around with the assumption that something is broken and I need to fix it.

-The Man with a Mustache

A:

Dear Sitting and Waiting,

I was going to say just the same thing as The Man with a Mustache. We probably shouldn't expect to be perfectly fulfilled all the time, as we probably won't feel perfectly fulfilled all the time. Trying to force things to be better when things are all basically right may make things worse and probably won't work anyway.

Not to get all psychobabbly on you, but I believe that sometimes the best thing to do is to be present in the moment and accept the feeling consciously. "I am here, sitting on my bed at the end of the day. I can hear my roommate in the next room washing the dishes. I had a good day, I was productive, and I had some fun. I feel that something is missing, and that is okay." The therapists at work like to say that when our thoughts are in the past we are prone to depression, and when our thoughts are in the future we are prone to anxiety. It's only in the present where we can feel whole. That's an old sentiment, but I think it applies here, too. Fear the hole in your life and you will find the hole in your life.

I'm not actually that touchy-feely in real life.

- The Black Sheep


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Question #81782 posted on 03/29/2015 8:08 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

This is a weird question, but for some odd reason, it's been on my mind for a while.

So if you're doing IVF, the man has to provide a sperm sample, right? Normally he is given pornography and then provides the sample. What if it's a Mormon man doing IVF? What does he do? He can't feel comfortable being asked to watch pornography, right, but how else would be able to provide a sample?

Sorry this is weird, but IVF is a real possibility.

-Concerned

A:

Dear concerned,

According to this site, a man's partner is permitted to be with him in the collection room when the sperm sample is retrieved. I imagine that's typically if not universally true.

-yayfulness

A:

Dear concerned,

I hope I'm not being crass, and I really don't think I am, I just want to check to see if you are aware that men can produce sperm wholly without pornography. 

I just... think that is common knowledge you should be generally aware of. Yayfulness' answer is still great and spot on, but the way you worded the question made me want to clarify just in case

If you're interested, a couple past questions gave opinions on what to do in the context of medical necessity to produce a sperm sample: Board Question #19316 and Board Question #50587.

-Mico

A:

Dear you,

I'm struggling to put my feelings into appropriate words for this answer. I apologize if this comes across as blunt.

Honestly? Don't worry about it. If you are going through In Vitro Fertilization, there is almost nothing less important than worrying about the sperm retrieval process.

If you're struggling to get pregnant right now, well, this next part is something I don't have to tell you. Infertility is unimaginably painful if you haven't experienced it. It's like the air gets sucked out of the room a little more every month, over and over, year after year. It's like a scab that won't heal, and every time you see your friends' adorable baby and toddler pictures, the scab gets scratched and starts to bleed a little more. It's a feeling of emptiness and inadequacy and hopes that never stop getting dashed.

Fertility treatments give you back some hope, but it's not easy and it's not cheap. By the time you and your Reproductive Endocrinologist arrive at IVF, you've usually tried two or three other treatments without success. You're probably thousands of dollars in the hole. IVF usually adds another 10-to-15,000 to that number. The woman has to endure three months of injections and bloating and hormone cocktails. The man has probably been on the phone for hours dealing with unhelpful insurance agents, trying to figure out how to cover everything. You go to one doctor appointment in an endless series and he tells you that your levels aren't quite there yet, and prescribes another two weeks of meds, and you realize you have to figure out where to find the $600 you need to pay for them.

By the time the egg retrieval day comes, you are both exhausted, physically and emotionally and spiritually. And I promise, I PROMISE, that when the doctor hands the man the sterile cup and leads him to the room, that lurid titillation will be the FARTHEST THING IN THE WORLD from his mind. All he will be thinking about is his wife, sedated and prepped two rooms over, and that everyone in the building knows exactly what he's doing, and that all he wants is to finish as quickly as possible. And he will probably be praying as hard as he can that the sample is viable, and that the egg retrieval is successful, and the implantation beats the 65% odds of failure and that you can finally finally have a family like everyone else.

There are SO many things to worry about in the process of IVF. Don't worry about this.

---still hoping


0 Comments
Question #81781 posted on 03/29/2015 7:50 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is it possible to determine the color of an m&m by touch alone?

Let say you have a large bowl of m&ms. You are blindfolded, and can eat as many m&ms as you desire from the bowl until you eat 3 brown ones, then you must stop. Would any of you be able to differentiate brown m&ms from other colors just by touch?

-Yum

A:

Dear Wade,

No. That's not possible. Unless you're Daredevil. But then you could "view" photographs and "read" computer screens by touch, too.

I really hope they don't include that ability in the Netflix series.

-M.O.D.A.Q.


0 Comments
Question #81780 posted on 03/29/2015 7:32 p.m.
Q:

Dearest 100 Hour Board,

So question. Taylor's Swift song Out of the Woods cannot be found on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, there's a live version but I'm looking for the album or radio version. I know she wants people to buy her music, like the actual CD or from iTunes so that explains why this song can't be found anywhere on YouTube. Why, then, has she allowed Shake It Off, Blank Space, Style, and many of her other new songs on YouTube?

Goodbye,
Scarlet Flamingo

A:

Dear Sasha Eduardo,

"Shake It Off," "Blank Space," and "Style" all have music videos. They are put on YouTube by her record company so they don't violate copyright. Record companies produce and put out music videos as a promotion for music sales. Any usage of the songs on YouTube aside from the official music videos is a violation of copyright.

-M.O.D.A.Q.

A:

Dear Flamingo,

More specifically, those are the three songs on 1989 that have been released as singles. Releasing singles predates full albums as the dominant way to publish pop music, and even though consumer tastes have shifted to the album, and then to digital as the preferred way of purchasing music, record labels and artists still use singles as a way to promote certain songs, especially for radio play.

-Cognoscente


0 Comments
Question #81779 posted on 03/29/2015 7:02 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I watched an episode of Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta and it got me wondering: how do you become featured on the show? Do you have to pay to be on it? Throughout the show they showed to-be brides trying on dresses, but these women were never featured. Then sometimes they show women who had bought a dress from them a couple of months ago get married in the dress. So how do they decide to show someone who gets featured or whether they show your wedding or not?

-sci-grrrl

A:

Dear sci-grRrRrrrRRl,

To be on Say Yes to the Dress you have to apply. You can apply directly on the Bridals by Lori's website. The person applying doesn't pay anything to apply, but conversely they don't receive any compensation either. They don't even get reimbursed for travel or purchases made at the bridal store! (That last part surprised me, actually, but that's reality TV, folks. In reality, people don't just buy you a wedding dress, but they will film you while you do it yourself.) If the show's Supreme Bride Picker (I hope this is the job title) likes your application, they will contact you to "discuss your wedding and your interests in the show." 

I haven't been able to find anything concrete (or even vague) about how they decide who gets featured at length. Maybe the Supreme Bride Picker chooses a bunch of brides, films them, then picks whoever was the most interesting/dramatic/all-around-neato and features them. Also, since the boutique is a regular store, they also will have regular people trying on dresses in the background. 

-Mico


0 Comments
Question #81777 posted on 03/29/2015 5:32 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Bored,

How do people who weigh a lot (like over 400 lbs) go to the bathroom? Most toilets can't hold someone over that weight, so...curious.

- Jack Vandermuffin

A:

Dear Jack,

There are multiple companies that make toilet seats and toilet supports to facilitate those who are obese or have other health issues in "taking care of business."  If you are particularly interested, information on one such company, Big John Products, can be found here.

On a side note, I feel that I should get some extra credit for Googling "obese American toilets." You're welcome.

I sure hope this helps.  Please don't hate me.

- Brutus   


0 Comments
Question #81776 posted on 03/29/2015 4:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

This year it's Journey performing at The Stadium of Fire!!!! Last year it was Carrie Underwood and she put on a great show. However, I would like a list since The Stadium of Fire started, with each band/artist who has performed there and in what year. Would that be possible for you to post here? Thanks! Don't stop believin'.

-Wrinkled Rhubarb Shoelace

A:

Dear Impractical Shoelace,

Here is the list of the headliner performances, as far back as I could find sources:

2014: Carrie Underwood
2013: Kelly Clarkson and Carley Rae Jepsen
2012: The Beach Boys
2011: Brad Paisley and David Archuleta
2010: Carrie Underwood
2009: The Jonas Brothers
2008: Miley Cyrus
2007: Brooks and Dunn
2006: Taylor Hicks
2005: Lucy Lawless and the Osmonds
2004: Reba McEntire
2003: Martina McBride
2002: Toby Keith
2001: Sawyer Brown
2000: Alabama
1999: Gladys Knight
1998: Huey Lewis and the News
1997: Natalie Cole and the Jets
1996: Donny Osmond
1995: Barbara Mandrell
1994: The Oak Ridge Boys and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

According to Wikipedia, the Stadium of Fire was created by the Osmonds in 1980, and they were the headliner performers for the first several years. Wikipedia also has a list of all the performers since the celebration's inception.

- Haleakalā

A:

Dear Delicious Pastry Flavor,

Bring me the giant vinyl cutout of Carrie Underwood's eye from last year and we'll talk.

--Ardilla Feroz


0 Comments
Question #81775 posted on 03/29/2015 3:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

In India do they give baby showers? I heard on The Mindy Project that they don't because of overpopulation, haha.

-Banana Mama

A:

Dear Banana Mama,

The short answer: while baby showers aren't traditional, they are becoming more prevalent in India.

The long answer: A couple of years ago I met and befriended a woman that was born and raised in India. Her husband was born and raised in the U.S., but his parents were born and raised in India and they would visit their homeland frequently. I've had the opportunity to listen to my friend tell me a lot about her life in India, about the small village she is from, what it was like to move to the U.S. and particularly what it is like visiting India now. Basically, in the ten years that it's been since she's moved to the U.S., my friend says the culture has completely changed and it's rapidly westernizing. People are much more connected to the rest of the world now (though she says more personally disconnected from each other than ever before) and as a result, they're adopting many Western traditions and customs, such as baby showers, for those that can afford it.

Please keep in mind that poverty in India is fairly widespread and while social norms are gradually changing, they are still quite rigid in many places. The perception of a woman expecting a baby in India is socially and culturally very different than that of a woman expecting a baby in the U.S.

-Sky Bones 


0 Comments
Question #81774 posted on 03/29/2015 3:26 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Did any of you guys, as you grew into adulthood, became disillusioned with your family? For disillusionment, the definition I want to use is: "a feeling of disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be." For me, the realizations were that my parent's marriage wasn't as strong as I thought it was and that my siblings make a lot more poor decisions than I had anticipated.

-Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow

A:

Dear that's actually pretty clever,

Oh my yes.

I used to have a lot of problems with my parents. I thought they had bad intentions or hated me or something. As I've gotten older, I've realized that they just really didn't know how to parent very well. That wasn't entirely their fault, but it still did a number on me and I'm working having decent relationships with them right now.

-Inverse Insomniac

A:

Dear friend,

I'm kind of in the same boat as you. My parents aren't as strong as I thought they were, and I worry for my siblings a lot more often than I brag about them these days. 

But I take hope in what Ardilla and Mustache have said, because I do love and admire my parents for their role in making me who I am. I'm coming to understand that they're humans like the rest of us - just like I muddle and waffle and dither my way through my own decisions because I don't really know what I'm doing, so too do they. They're doing the best they know how with the resources they've been given. I'm hoping someday I can come to honor their mistakes the way I honor their successes.

Yours, &c.

Heidi Book

A:

Dear San Pedro Sula,

I felt somewhat disillusioned with my family for a little while—especially when my parents were having some spats—but I think they're cooler now than I ever have. I don't know why I'd include this response except to say there may yet be things you discover about your parents and family that you will come to appreciate and respect deeply.

--Ardilla Feroz 

A:

Dear Heir,

Somewhere in the middle of my college experience I realized that my parents did a bunch of stuff wrong. I went through several phases of disillusionment:

  1. Shock: I was mildly surprised that they didn't do everything correctly. It really hadn't occurred to me before.
  2. Anger: I felt like they hadn't taught me things that were fundamentally important and that I was seriously handicapped because of it.
  3. Resolution: I was going to make my family better than they made theirs by doing correctly everything that they did wrong.
  4. Forgiveness: I realized that they probably taught a lot of those things to me many many times but that I was too stubborn to learn it.
  5. Admiration: I'm trying to be a dad and I've discovered just how hard it is to do pretty much anything correctly. I now basically worship my parents' ability to have done as much as they did as well as they did it.
So, you see, I've come full circle. Just to be clear, I'm not trying to say that this is the right way. My family circumstances are what they are, and I'm sure yours are totally different. But this is how it worked for me.
 
-The Man with a Mustache
A:

Dear Bugs Pennybags:

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Yes. So much yes.

Considering how most members of my family behave like some combination of characters in a Kaui Hart Hemmings novel and in a golden age of Disney film, how wouldn't I have Balzacian Lost Illusions?

Where to begin? On my Danish side, they were all legitimately insane. There was a set of siblings where there was only one normal one. The others were alcoholics who all managed to die violent deaths, falling out of various watercraft, etc. And/or they would abandon their offspring with their spouses or in-laws, despite pleas to the contrary. (I'm going to go with r-selection strategy on this one.) An anecdote which I'm not sure is disillusioning, or whether it's more of a tips cap moment, is the soap opera of an ancestress maid of mine. She worked for a wealthy bachelor, and on his deathbed, she shows up and claims that her kid is his. I don't know if the courts decided in her favor—DNA testing was invented for my family.

Which brings me to my biological parents. Oh, did I mention I found my long-lost father? Yeah, I did. If I had any youthful illusions that my life was an Emily Giffin novel: ha. ha. ha. HA!

The adoption papers were just casually in a box somewhere and my adoptive father's second wife had them, the key to the information I had most wanted in the first quarter century of my existence. Let me tell you, stalking your biological father on LinkedIn and sobbing as your overbearing non-relative looks over your shoulder is not what Hiccup, Anne of Green Gables, Lorna Doone—need I go on? It was horrifying.

I had had decades to construct a fantasy of how the threads of this story would unravel. My long-lost father was intelligent! He lived in New York! Surely, he was dashingly handsome! I pictured a tale of forbidden, but lasting love, or more sordid, something much darker. As my mother lay dying, I thought I'd finally say, tell me the truth, maybe throw myself in her arms. Between the death rattles and my own awkwardness, it didn't happen.

But at last! I had a name, I had an address!

I stalked my two half-siblings. (In a Shakespearean twist, both my brothers have the same, unusual Nordic given name.) I crafted my best letter.

It had been about a week, no response. I was as low as I'd ever been. Couldn't concentrate, couldn't sleep, basically having a nervous breakdown.

I did get a response, finally. 

I now know far more about the circumstances of my conception than I ever truly needed to. In brief, it was a one-night stand at a graduation party. 

He didn't even know my mother was pregnant! If anything, she abandoned him. Personality-wise, he is indeed clever enough (an engineer), enjoys skiing and reading, and is pretentious and has a lame sense of humor. So I'll take his word for it that I found the right guy. Sounds about right.

How à propos that Florence and the Machine would pop up on my Pandora just now.

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

In any bildungsroman, our intrepid protagonist must overcome whatever faulty youthful perceptions are holding her back. I was in love with a fantasy. I was looking, in a very real and salient way that I think must be impossible to understand fully unless you've been there, for an identity of sorts. I still have daydreams that my parents stayed together, that they'd be alive and part of my life and love me, that I wouldn't feel so alone.

Adulthood, I think, is realizing that even though we are in some fundamental sense alone, it's okay.

I like George R. R. Martin's take on it, a world full of even more dysfunctional families and illegitimate children:

“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” 

---Portia


0 Comments
Question #81762 posted on 03/29/2015 3:02 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I want to learn to document ceramics and pottery in an archaeological context -- is there a crash course booklet that I can get that teaches me the basic details to notes? And how do I know all the ceramic lingo? What is a fabric? Slip? Glaze (like what are they exactly).

-Butterfly & Bones

A:

Dear Lepidopteran and Ossa,

The first thing I did when I read your question was to Google "define:slip." I had to scroll down a lot to get past all of the other definitions, but I eventually found the definition: "a creamy mixture of clay, water, and typically a pigment, used especially for decorating earthenware." Based on that, I think that Google's "define" feature or another large general purpose dictionary will probably have adequate definitions for a lot of the terms you're looking for.

However, for some of those more technical terms, here are a few resources you might find useful:

Wiktionary's category of ceramics terms (Wiktionary is not always my preferred dictionary, but I do love its categories feature.)

Glossary of Ceramic Terms from Tulane University

Archaeology Wordsmith

As far as learning about archaeological ceramics more generally, that's going to depend largely on the time period(s) and culture(s) you're interested in. (I.e., the amphora of Ancient Greece are going to be significantly different from the pottery of the Ancestral Puebloans.) Museums are probably going to be a good resource for you, since many (most?) archaeological finds eventually make their way to a museum collection. As a general methodology, I would suggest searching the websites or published catalogs of museums with collections from the cultures you're interested in and then looking up unfamiliar terminology as you go. (Try Googling something like "museum ancient pottery [culture or place]" to find websites. To find printed catalogs, go to a library catalog and do a subject search on "[country] antiquities" or "pottery [country].")

To get you started, Mico found The Florida Museum of Natural History's online collections of historic period archaeological ceramics, which looks like a pretty amazing resource.

- Katya


0 Comments
Question #81773 posted on 03/29/2015 3:02 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Would you rather have your family/friends tell you their serious personal problems/struggles or be completely oblivious to them?

-To hear or not to hear

A:

Dear Ears,

I would rather be told. I try to be a sensitive person, but there are definitely moments when momentary stupidity overpowers my sensitivity and I end up being inadvertently insensitive. If I know what my friends and family members are going through, however, it helps me to be more empathetic and sensitive. Even if there is nothing I can do to help them, I've found that understanding the trials someone is going through always fills my heart with love for them.

I also like to be told because when I can do something to help them, I want to. I don't want any of my family members or close friends to have to bear their burdens alone, so if there is something I can do to lighten the load, I want to be able to do it.

-Vienna

A:

Dear hear,

I would want to be told some things, but not all of them. It's important to be able to support your family and friends, and there are a lot of situations where someone really needs help that you can give. At a minimum, it's nice to be able to know if there are issues you should be sensitive to or considerate of. However, it's possible to start to take on too many problems that belong to other people. There are things that you may not be emotionally equipped to deal with, depending on your own struggles and what's going on for you personally. It's important to not take the "it's important to help loved ones" mindset so far that you can't do what's healthy for you.

-Zedability

A:

Dear THONTH,

It's a resounding "Tell me your struggles!" for me.

Somewhere between my drive to help people and my general nosiness, I've discovered that I love listening to other people's problems so much that I recently applied and was accepted to a graduate program for Clinical Art Therapy. A specific series of experiences (like a dear cousin breaking down in tears in my living room while saying, "It's so good to finally be able to talk to somebody about this!") has shown me that a safe, judgment-free place for people to tell the truth, no matter what truth, is something that many people desperately need, and I'm good at it. Empathy and compassion are my top values in life, and if I can use them to bring my fellow human beings to a place of healing and balance, then why on earth would I not?

Yes, I want to know, and yes, I want to help.

With all the love in the world,

Waldorf, with Sauron by my side


0 Comments
Question #81771 posted on 03/29/2015 2:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Any thoughts on Seattle's minimum wage?

-Shrinky Dink

A:

Dear Dink Meeker,

When I first heard about the minimum wage change in Seattle a few years ago, I was very confused about why in the world Seattle felt the need to raise the minimum wage so high. Yes, it will allow those working for minimum wage to make a living wage, but in the long run that won't last. Prices or employment will catch up with the minimum wage change. It is simple economics. By raising Seattle's minimum wage, the city is not creating more money, but redistributing the capital already available in the city. That capital is now going to the low-wage workers, giving them more money to spend, and less for the business owners to spend. This means that while people have more money, with which they can purchase goods and services, employers have less money to pay their employees with. They will either need to lay off employees or raise prices in order to make up for the change. Redistributing wealth this way is not going to increase the economy, just change it for a little while. 

I also can't help wondering what these changes will do to tourism in Seattle. It is now significantly more expensive to visit Seattle because of the change in prices. With increased cost of visiting, why not just go on vacation somewhere else? If people stop visiting Seattle due to any ramifications of the minimum wage change, then rather than improving the economy, it will negatively harm it. While this is simple speculation, it is possible. I can see a lot more bad coming from the minimum wage change than good. There are much better ways help out the middle and lower classes.

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger  


0 Comments
Question #81772 posted on 03/29/2015 2:08 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm supposed to be dainty, since I'm a girl. However, one time a couple of years back, a male cousin of mine informed me that I have shoulders like a linebacker-since they're so broad. How can I turn this negative comment into something positive for me?

-h4x0r

A:

Dear you,

Simple. THERE'S NO RULE SAYING YOU HAVE TO BE DAINTY.

As Uffish Thought expresses below, social expectations for men and women are silly. Neither your worth nor your beauty nor your abilities depend on the breadth of your shoulders.

If it makes you feel better, I am six feet tall and wear a size-twelve shoe. I can never find jeans that fit right. I don't wear long-sleeved shirts because they don't make shirts with sleeves long enough. When I was a teenager, I was super self-conscious about all of this; I was embarrassed about how big my shoes were and avoided standing up around other girls so that they wouldn't realize how awkwardly tall I was. If I've learned anything in the last few years, however, it's that there are two primary dimensions to the issues in our lives: controllability and importance. I've taken the liberty of drawing up a diagram for you:

diagram of life.png

The art of living is learning to let go of everything that falls outside of the green quadrant. You won't ever be happy if you're expending energy in the others.

Yours, &c.

Heidi Book

A:

Dear Hacksor,

What's wrong with linebackers? Linebackers are awesome.

Also, he was almost certainly using hyperbole for effect. Have you seen professional linebackers? Anyone who actually has shoulders like a linebacker is already one. You may have broader shoulders than what your cousin is used to, but who cares?

My nose is probably in the 80th percentile for size. It used to make me self-conscious, but now I see it as distinctive. You create your own self-worth. Don't let anybody influence it who doesn't deserve to.

-Inverse Insomniac

A:

Dear Shoulders,

I have fairly broad shoulders, I think, and people still tell me I'm attractive.

The thing is, there really is no universal meaning or standard for the word "beauty."

And in fact, a lot of the most physically beautiful people I know have at least one unique feature that makes them stand out. Think of your broad shoulders as that: a unique feature that makes you stand out.

Plus, broad shoulders often mean strong arms. Next time someone says something about your broad shoulders, just say, "Hey, wanna arm wrestle?" That'll show 'em.

Love,

Vienna

A:

Dear friend,

If it makes you feel any better, I remember being really jealous of my best friend's linebacker shoulders in junior high, because they made her look like Hilary Duff. At this point in my life, I thought Hilary Duff was the epitome of teenage cuteness, and tried to emulate her in every way I could. 

Peace,

-Stego Lily

A:

Dear,

Your shoulders are strong and sexy.

My voice, which I'm still often self-conscious about, is sometimes described by people as sultry instead of manly.

The social expectations for women (and men too) are kind of ridiculous, and it's hard not to internalize the things people say offhandedly, not realizing they'll stick with you for years. But do your best to reject the thoughts that say you're not good enough and keep the flattering ones. Attractiveness is 75% confidence, anyway.

Also, start looking for women that aren't dainty and are still super sexy. I'm currently thinking of Beyonce, but if you look, you'll find many.

-Uffish Thought

A:

Dear h4x0r ~

I have very narrow shoulders, passed on from mother to daughter through the generations. It does not make me dainty. If anything, it makes it very hard to dress myself flatteringly. Very, very hard. Where everywhere else I have historically* had an hourglass figure (large hips, small waist, large bust), my narrow shoulders spoil the effect. The clothing that is meant to emphasize an hourglass figure is far from flattering on narrow shoulders. I am learning to dress for my shape and accepting it as just who I am—not a positive or negative thing. (I haven't yet figured out a way to make narrow shoulders positive. But if they're not negative... if I'm simply ambivalent to them, just as I am to, say, my knee caps or my finger knuckles, then I count that as a win.)

Love your linebacker shoulders. Because of them you probably rarely have problems with normal necks becoming low-cut. You probably never have purses and backpacks fall off your shoulders merely by walking. You never have to find shirts that emphasize your shoulders because your bust is larger than them. You can wear boat-necks. There are just so many wonderful things about your shoulders!

~ Dragon Lady, still somehow proud enough of her narrow shoulders to take this picture:

Narrow Shoulders.jpg 

*historically because, well, I've born three children and my waist is not as small as it once was.


0 Comments
Question #81770 posted on 03/29/2015 1:32 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How much did he end up paying for this picture of Wilford Woodruff on eBay?

-Gospel Goodie

A:

Dear GG,

The answer, it would appear, is $301.61.

-yayfulness


0 Comments
Question #81769 posted on 03/29/2015 1:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If not for the 3/5's compromise in the constitution would Lincoln still have been our president. I know there are a ton of variables, but just assuming that southern states got to count their slave population for their slice of the electoral college.

-b

A:

Dear what do you mean I'm less than b,

That's a really interesting question, actually. For those of you who aren't as familiar with the ins and outs of the U.S. Constitution as b and I are, the Three-Fifths Compromise is found in Article 1, Section 2, Paragraph 3, and it reads as follows:

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole number of free Persons, including those bound to a Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.

Simply put, only free people were counted when determining how many representatives each state would have in the House. Predominantly slave-holding states felt this was unfair, and wanted to have their slaves count toward that end. A compromise was reached in which three-fifths of the slave population of those states would count toward apportionment of Representatives. That was a good thing for those states, as many of them had large numbers of slaves, sometimes as much as nearly 50% of the overall population of the state. This gave those states more power in the House than they might otherwise have had, and possibly contributed to slavery persisting as long as it did.

So how would the election of 1860 have changed if those slaves had been counted as full people when apportioning out Representatives and votes in the electoral college? Well, to understand that, we'll first need to understand how the election looked in the first place. I've created a helpful map, which you can see below:

1860 actual.png

It's a commonly repeated fact that Abraham Lincoln won the 1860 election despite winning less than 40% of the popular vote and not appearing on the ballot in nearly any of the Southern states, but this map shows just how sizable an electoral victory he ended up with. His 39.7% of the popular vote translated into 180 electoral votes, more than the other three major candidates combined. John Breckinridge, the Southern Democratic candidate who supported expanding slavery into the western territories, won nearly all of the Southern states, just missing out on the Border states. Stephen Douglas actually came in second in the popular vote with 29.5%, but ended up with just 12 electoral votes (Missouri's nine and three of New Jersey's seven). Lincoln's support may have been sectional, but the fact is that with so many people living in the North, that section alone was more than enough to carry the election.

But remember, we're not counting 40% of the population of those Southern states. How would the electoral college look if we added them in?

It's actually a trickier process than it seems on the surface. Representatives are apportioned based on the population of their states, which we calculate every ten years during the Census. After those results come in, Congress will generally pass a apportionment bill that establishes the number of Representatives for each state. The 1850 apportionment bill, which was still in effect during the 1860 election, not only established those numbers, but also set a cap of 233 Representatives in the House, which was the current amount at the time. That means that until stated otherwise, when the House was reapportioned, there were a total of 233 seats to go around, so adding Representatives to one state required taking them from another. So if we're going to add Representatives to the South (and we'll need to, if we have an additional 40% of the population we need to take into account), we'll need to take them away from Northern states.

The numbers Congress may have come up with may have been different, but I think mine seem reasonable. I took the total population of the United States in 1850 (2,319,876) and divided it by 233 to see how many people each Representative would represent. That gives us 99,536 people, which I rounded up to 100,000 for simplicity's sake. For every 100,000 people in a state's total population, I gave them one Representative, generally rounding up. That means that Vermont, with an 1850 population of 314,120, got three representatives, while Rhode Island, with a population of 147,545 got two. After checking to make sure that I had a total of 233 Representatives and therefore 303 electoral votes (remember, Washington D.C. couldn't cast electoral votes for the President until the 23rd Amendment in 1961), I came up with the map below. This assumes every state still goes for the same candidate, since while we're counting the state's full population, we're still counting the same votes, since blacks (free or slave) weren't allowed to vote:

1860 reapportioned.png

Some of the Northern states have fewer votes and some of the Southern states have more, but ultimately, it's not enough to really make a difference. Lincoln's electoral votes drop from 180 to 172, but he only needs 152 to win. He still has more than Breckinridge (79), John Bell (40), and Stephen Douglas (still 12) combined. So even if it weren't for the Three-Fifths Compromise, Lincoln would still have won comfortably.

But why stop there? We've already decided to count the South's slave population in apportioning Representatives. If we're going to count them as full people for the purposes of apportionment, why not count them as full people for the purposes of voting? Let's assume that all of the slaves in the South are allowed to vote for whichever candidate they choose.

To figure out how that would change the election, we're going to have to make a few assumptions. First, we're assuming that not only are the slaves allowed to vote, they're allowed to vote free of pressure or harassment. That's a brave assumption, given the wave of Jim Crow laws that prevented blacks from voting freely in the South for generations, as well as general intimidation practices. But since we're already rewriting history, let's go ahead and rewrite it so that they can vote freely. Determining who they'll vote for is trickier still. We can't just look to the North for general voting trends, since blacks weren't allowed to vote anywhere in the U.S. during the 1860 election. We could look at future elections, but that only gives us a sense of party loyalty. A person voting for Ulysses Grant in 1868 wouldn't necessarily have voted for Lincoln in 1860 any more than a person voting for Barack Obama in 2008 would necessarily have voted for Al Gore in 2000.

We're going to have to be a little reductionist here. For the purposes of this thought experiment, I've decided that slaves are going to be single-issue voters, and that their single issue is going to be slavery. The Republican party wasn't as overtly abolitionist as it was in 1856, but it was at least sympathetic to the cause. Lincoln is probably going to be the top choice of slaves in 1860. Douglas and Bell were neutral on slavery, and as mentioned earlier, Breckinridge supported spreading slavery into the Western territories, even in cases where those territories' populations didn't support the practice. (It will come as no surprise to you, I'm sure, that Breckinridge served as a general in the Confederate army after he lost this election.) I'm assuming that when slaves are allowed to choose between these four candidates, 80% of them are voting for Lincoln, 10% each are voting for Douglas and Bell, and 0% will vote for Breckinridge. An inexact method, to be sure, but since we don't have any sort of polling data on the subject, it'll have to do.

Of course, as we mentioned earlier, Lincoln didn't even appear on the ballot in many of the Southern states. (Nor did Breckinridge in many of the Northern states, for that matter.) I decided that in states without Lincoln on the ballot, slaves would split their vote 50-50 between Douglas and Bell, and in cases where Douglas wasn't on the ballot either, slaves went 100% for Bell.

The last bit is the easiest. While we're extending suffrage to the slaves, we're also assuming that not all of them are going to be able to or choose to vote. Voters still have to be over 21 and male to vote in this election. A quick look at the 1860 Census shows that about 44% of slaves were 21 or older at the time, and about half of them were male. Voter turnout was 81% in the 1860 election (one of the highest in history!), so only 17.8% of slaves are actually going to end up voting in the Southern states. We're keeping the apportioned votes the same for this, as you can see below:

1860 suffrage.png

Looks quite a bit different, doesn't it? Lincoln still carries the North handily, and in this case, he very nearly wins Virginia, too, taking 80% of the state's 87,473 voting slaves. (Consider that Bell actually won the state with 74,481 votes in 1860. That's an awful lot of disenfranchised voters.) In fact, with Breckinridge not receiving a single slave vote, he loses all of his states except for two, and he probably only wins South Carolina because at the time, its electoral voters were appointed by the state legislature rather than determined by the popular vote. It wouldn't have mattered how many slaves were voting if the legislature was unchanged. (Of course, if slaves were permitted to vote, the legislature may have had an entirely different makeup.) Bell carries most of the South due to picking up the slave vote. And it doesn't make an ounce of difference, because Lincoln still has 172 electoral votes to Bell's now 107. He's still our President.

Of course, had slaves been given a full vote, everything would been different. Maybe they have a chance to effect some real change in government. Maybe these four candidates stand for different things. Maybe different candidates for the presidency emerge. There's lots to consider. Political science is a complex field with lots of variables, like you said. But even if we don't and can't take all of them into account, it's still fun to think about how things might have turned out differently, isn't it?

- D.A.R.E.


0 Comments
Question #81767 posted on 03/29/2015 4:14 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Are any of you concerned that North Korea's Kim and Russia's Putin are meeting together to strengthen relations?? Is anyone else feeling a wee concerned and getting a Cold War vibe?

-Inquisitive Iman (who only comes in peace)

A:

Dear E'lir,

Concerned? Maybe a little. Cold War vibe? Definitely not.

First of all, while Russia is clearly authoritarian, it is certainly not communist any more. Secondly, the relationship between North Korea and Russia has been pretty good for a long time. I don't see this so much as a strengthening of ties between the two, but Russia trying to retaliate against the US for the part we have played in Ukraine. By enhancing economic ties with Russia, North Korea is further enabled to resist American sanctions. However, those sanctions have done nothing to change the regime since they were implemented. It also will likely help the North Koreans with their nuclear arsenal, but that was happening with or without stronger ties with Russia. So while this strengthening of ties between the two countries may give North Korea a little more power, I doubt it will have a real effect on the international relations of the matter. 

I think the biggest impact of this will be to remind the Obama Administration that Moscow is not to be trifled with, and if need be, Putin can apply pressure in much more painful places than in North Korea.

For a fuller analysis, read this article

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger  


0 Comments
Question #81765 posted on 03/29/2015 2:02 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

The quote on the quote bar today is: "We are more afraid of excellence than of failure." -Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles.

I feel like I've heard this sentiment multiple times before and from multiple sources. But I don't get it. I'd much rather have excellence than failure. At least I think I do. These people seem to think I don't, and I want to know why. Could you please explain?

-The Exquisite

A:

Dear that makes sense with a 'nym like that,

Because if you're successful once, people expect you to be successful again, and any failures are significantly worse.

Let me tell you a quick story to illustrate.

When I was in high school, I scored 36 on the ACT. People had always thought I was smart, but now there was concrete proof of it, and coming from such a small town in a largely rural state I basically became a celebrity. This would seem like a good thing, right? Not really. Within a year I was in the middle of my first major bout of depression, and the crowning moment came when I got a C in AP Calculus and decided to drop the class after the first semester. A C really isn't that bad of a grade, but to me, the brilliant kid (I was literally nicknamed "36" by people from another town), it amounted to what felt like a complete failure. Fast forward one more year. I was studying Arabic at the time, and it (and the college experience in general) was kicking my trash. I failed or nearly failed a couple classes, I lost my scholarship with a GPA so bad that recovering it was mathematically impossible even after four years, and I'm pretty sure I would have been on academic probation if I wasn't so good at multiple-choice tests. I was convinced that I would never be successful in life. Fast forward several years. I'd returned from my mission and recovered academically, but I was in a major that was making me miserable. I had the choice of staying in that major or switching to a different major where I would be happier but significantly less empowered to Change The World. It should have been an easy choice, but I agonized over it because I'd convinced myself that Changing The World was a duty conferred upon me by my success and the expectations others had placed in my future success.

Obviously there's a lot of flawed thinking crammed into that last paragraph, but that's kind of the point. If you're successful, whether because of some innate quality, special effort, or pure dumb luck, people expect you to keep being successful and you expect it too. Once you've been amazing, being average will always be a disappointment, and statistically speaking it's probably where you'll spend most of your life.

To this day, I wish I'd scored 35.

-yayfulness

A:

Dear,

I'd rather have excellence than failure, too. But I'd rather have intentional failure than unintentional failure, and trying for excellence makes me vulnerable to so much more failure than I would have experienced by just not trying.

You know the basketball wisdom about how you miss 100% of the shots you don't take? By a similar logic, you also make 100% of the shots you don't take. You haven't achieved anything, but at least you haven't lost anything. There's a sad sort of comfort in that.

Or in a similar vein, if you take the shot and say "I probably won't make it," then you feel okay when you miss. I, for example, often talk about how bad I am at dancing. It's true—it doesn't come naturally to me. I don't understand how to follow someone who's leading, and when I finally develop a little muscle memory, it generally steers me in the wrong direction. I would like to be able to dance, and if I put enough time into it, I probably could learn. But what if I put in all that time and I'm still awful? Or what if I am actually good at it, and I have to eat crow and admit that I wasted all those years griping about my lack of ability? Better not to try.

Which is stupid, of course. If I can get good at something I want to get good at, isn't it worth the effort? Yes, it is. But I still won't put it in, because I'm insecure and lazy. However, I don't let myself think it's because of my insecurities and my laziness. I let myself think that it's because it's just not in my DNA. If I avoid knowing that I'd be great at something, then I can avoid the responsibility and shame of my misplaced priorities.

Really, it's still fear of failure, I think. It's just fear of a bigger and less justifiable failure than the kind that comes from simple inability.

-Uffish Thought


0 Comments
Question #81764 posted on 03/29/2015 12:56 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are some foods one should stay away from on a date, professional meeting of sorts, etc.? For instance, spaghetti and salads always seem like a messy food for me to eat.... Agree? Disagree? What else should I (and others) stay away from when they don't want food hanging out of their mouth (because their mouths are small) or are just otherwise plain messy?

-The Ironic Chef

A:

Ironic Chef,

I had a friend who took girls he was interested in on dates where they ate deliberately messy food (ribs, Chinese, etc.) to see how they handled it. If she was OK eating with her hands, and getting food all over the place in front of him, he took it as a good sign. Something to think about...

-The Man with a Mustache

A:

Dear Ironic

Try to avoid combining corn on the cob, which may leave silk strands in the teeth, with a subsequent dish that has a staining agent, like blueberry cobbler.

-Humble Master

A:

Dear Ironic Chef,

In addition to messy foods, foods that get stuck in your teeth, and foods that can stain your teeth, I'd add foods that are very complicated to eat, such as lobster in the shell.

Regarding The Man in the Moustache's friend, though, I have to say that I'm not a fan of dating activities that are secretly "tests." If your family owns a chain of restaurants that serve ribs, not liking ribs might be a big enough deal breaker for you to want to find it out as early as possible in the relationship. However, if you're simply trying to gauge whether or not the girl is easy going or down to earth, there are too many variables at play on a first (or early) date for you make a definitive evaluation. (Maybe she's too nervous to enjoy the food, maybe she's feeling a little sick, maybe she's mildly allergic to the type of cuisine you've selected but she doesn't want to make a fuss, maybe you thought you wanted a mate who liked messy foods, but it turns out that she has other qualities that you value more.)

If you're worried that a girl (or guy) you're interested in might be too uptight, or have a bad temper, or be a sore loser, or be unkind to waiters, you don't have to set up some deliberate "test" to determine their worthiness. Simply seeing their natural behavior in a variety of situations should be enough to tip you off to any red flags, without resorting to manipulation.

- Katya


0 Comments
Question #81763 posted on 03/29/2015 12:50 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So in the book of Samuel, it is noted that Eli has sons that lay with the women at the temple or something. What does this mean? I know temple prostitutes were a thing in ancient Near Eastern culture -- were they also a thing in the Israelite practice (when they were wicked)? What did they do exactly? What were their purpose? And if there wasn't -- then what are Eli's sons doing exactly?

-Sage

A:

Dear Sage:

Laying with women means exactly what you think it means. "Having sexual relations with the sanctuary's serving women," in fact. (Not to mention their taste for religiously-sanctioned tri tip and filet mignon. If I'm accountable for digging out the peanut butter swirl and taking more than my share of baby back ribs at the Pearly Gates, I will be amused.)

---Portia


0 Comments
Question #81761 posted on 03/29/2015 12:38 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Recently, I've noticed that when I'm nervous talking to a professor on a one to one basis that I get this big lump in my throat, and I become very aware of swallowing... and my gulps are loud like really loud! How do I learn to control my loud gulping?

And why does our body do that? What makes it do that?

-Pills & Pillows

A:

Pills & Pillows,

You've answered your own question: you're nervous! Before meeting with the professor remember that they're just a person and that they enjoy meeting with students and talking about the subject matter. They've dedicated themselves to teaching for a reason and you have nothing to fear.  As to your gulps, your throat is probably becoming dry due to nerves, so bring a bottle of water and take sips before meetings.

As to why our bodies do that? There are many responses to stressful situations: throat dries up or palms get sweaty or we stutter. Some are beyond our control but if we work on our nerves, those responses have a way of not being noticeable.

-la bamba


0 Comments
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Posted on 03/28/2015 11:39 p.m. New Comment on: #81726 So some dude was telling me that he believes that crystals (yes, the rocks) have energy ...
Question #81745 posted on 03/28/2015 11:26 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Can you tell me some cool Canadian Facts concerning Calgary? Just like really random and fun ones that I can share with my family? What's fun to do in Calgary?

-Candid non-Canadian

A:

Dear Candid,

First of all, Calgary is a city of over a million people, so if you can think of something fun to do in general, it definitely exists in Calgary. For Calgary-specific things, however, I do have some suggestions:

  • If you're there at the beginning of July, you can go to the Calgary Stampede
  • There is a recently remodeled science center
  • If you're willing to make a bit of a roadtrip, Banff and Waterton national parks are superb
  • During the winter, there is in-city skiing at Canada Olympic Park
  • Heritage Park is a fascinating look at history, as well as a generally good time
  • Calaway Park is the local theme park
  • Calgary Flames or Hitmen games are great
  • Go downtown during the day and shop. Take the train for added fun.
  • If you want to go to the symphony or see a play, there's always stuff going on
  • Eat some ethnic food. Look up Kinjo, a sushi restaurant, or get some Vietnamese food or a donair or something. Pretty much all ethnic food in Calgary is amazing, except for Hispanic food. There isn't any good Hispanic food. But Chinese food is amazing.
  • There's also the Calgary Zoo, which is a pretty great zoo.

-Shifty Canadian

A:

Dear person,

Calgary!

Interesting Facts

Cool Runnings happened here. This is the most interesting fact.

Other interesting facts that I can think of off the top of my head... the Hart brothers were from Calgary. Um... I know! Calgary was named after a Calgary in Scotland on the Isle of Mull, which looks like this:

calgaryscotland.jpg

Unfortunately the Canadian Calgary does not have a beach and it has way more people. But it's still a pretty good place.

Things to Do

Eat ginger beef. It is delicious and this Wikipedia article says this is an important part of Calgary culture so... this is pretty much a cultural experience must. And it's delicious. If you go to any Chinese food place in Calgary they will have it. It will change your life.

Also, relish the fact that every tap water you drink is delicious glacier water.  

Also I have to second the Shifty Canadian's recommendations go to Banff and Waterton. The national parks in Alberta are absolutely beautiful and they are the best places in the province. They are way cooler than the city so if you can go on road trips and you'll be in Calgary in summer, do that. My favourite hike in Banff is Johnston Canyon/Inkpots and my favourite in Waterton is Crypt Lake. And there are literally hundreds of other hikes as well.

For a short trip, go to the erratic in Okotoks and see the biggest relatively intact and easily accessible hunk of rock ever dropped by a glacier:

okotoksbigrock.jpg

And I'm not saying that to be lame, I actually think the big rock is pretty cool. If you're going to be on the south side of the city and have a lot of time, it's definitely a unique thing to go see.

-Sheebs, who currently lives in Calgary!

A:

Dear non-Canadian,

Canadian facts? Like in the style of Chuck Norris facts? Why, you bet your bottom loonie I do!

Did you know that...

  • when Calgary knocks on death's door, nobody answers?
  • Calgary can speak French, in Russian?
  • Calgary doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone?
  • Calgary beat the sun in a staring contest?
  • Calgary can cut a knife with butter?
  • the city of Calgary was once charged with attempted murder in Edmonton, but was ultimately acquitted because Calgary doesn't attempt murder?
  • while in grade seven, Calgary was given an assignment to write an essay titled "What is courage?" and received an A+ by turning in a blank sheet of paper with only the name of the city on it?
  • the calendar goes from March 31 to April 2 in Calgary, because nobody fools Calgary?
  • Calgary once robbed a bank?
  • BY PHONE?????????
  • Calgary is the reason Waldo is hiding?
  • Calgary can speak Braille?
  • Kings buy Calgary-sized beds?

You can learn about all of these things and more when you visit Calgary! If it doesn't kill you first!

- D.A.R.E.


0 Comments
Question #81760 posted on 03/28/2015 10:08 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the are there terms and conditions with the LearningSuite email function? Like what people are supposed to/allowed to send?
Soliciting survey participants for a different class assignment is one thing, but lately I've been getting messages that have little or nothing to do with school. What's up with that?

-Psych 111 student

A:

Dear Psych 111 Student,

Basically, "what's up" with it is that we all universally hate the Learning Suite "email the whole class" feature but there's nothing we can do about it. Apart from doing something blatantly wrong (posting a link to a pirated textbook for example, which someone in my class actually tried to do), there isn't really anything you can do that will get them to stop you from using it. However, just so you know, if you're actually getting "emails" and not just Learning Suite notifications, you can turn those off by opening the mail application and clicking "edit settings."

- Haleakalā


0 Comments
Question #81759 posted on 03/28/2015 9:56 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the origin of the word "copycat"? What, do cats really copy?

Merry-go-Lamb

A:

Dear E'lir,

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the first recorded use of the word "copycat" was in 1896 in the book The Country of Pointed Firs by Sarah Orne Jewett, which said, "In these days, the young folk is all copy-cats, 'fraid to death they won't be all just alike."

Calling someone a "cat" has been an insult since the pre-modern era. Judging by the etymological history of the insult "cat," a copycat isn't one who copies, but a jerk prone to imitation.

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger  

A:

How are you Merry-go-Lamb!!

What you say? It cannot copy if it is a CATS! It is unique.

It know what it doing. It does not main screen turn on because everyone is doing. It can only. It can set you up the bomb.

Do not insulting as a cat. Complimenting as a CATS. It is all futile.

Ha Ha Ha Ha...

-CATS


0 Comments
Question #81758 posted on 03/28/2015 9:32 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have a guy friend who I've known for about 5 years. From time to time I'll convince myself that I like him but he's always made it clear that he's not interested, so I move on. The thing is, I'm not the only girl who is in the same boat concerning this guy. He complains about being friendzoned while simultaneously friendzoning half a dozen different girls. So should I talk to him about this? I don't know if he realizes how many girls want to date him but part of me also thinks, how could he not? Would you want to know how many girls like you if it was you?

-No name

A:

Carol,

Listen, I know we had like a 'thing' in tenth grade but then that summer you spent the summer at your grandparents' in Florida and I worked at my uncle's auto shop and things were just... different. You need to understand that. I realize that there are girls interested in me that I'm not interested in, and that there are girls I'm interested in that aren't interested in me (although I think you might be exaggerating the 'half a dozen' estimate). Love is complicated, Carol. I can't control how I feel or don't feel about someone or how someone feels or doesn't feel about me!

I never wanted anyone to get hurt. But you're a great girl and I'm sure you'll find someone that's right for you.

-Kevin

A:

Dear Gnome,

He might very well know there's multiple girls interested in him, but if he's being friendzoned by the girl(s) he's interested in, he probably doesn't care who is interested in him. It's almost like it's not even relevant information. If you decide to tell him, it might well give him an ego boost—but don't expect the comment to change your relationship. It might be interesting to see how he reacts, though.

--Ardilla Feroz

A:

Dear,

I know it's frustrating when one of your perpetual crushes is bellyaching about how no one likes him—I've been there many times before. But what he means (and what you mean), when he says that is, "the people who I would like to be interested in me don't appear to be interested in me." It's not that there isn't interest, it's that there's not mutual interest. But our society loves its self-depreciating comments, and we feel like it's better to say that "no one likes me" (because we feel humble saying that) than to say "some people like me, but I don't like them back" (because we feel snotty saying that).

If he complained about it ALL the time, I might call him on the difference between what he's saying, and what he's meaning. I might also gently remind him that when he says that publicly, it encourages people he's not meaning to encourage.

Also, if someone randomly came up to tell me he'd heard me complaining about my lack of a love life, and he wanted to let me know that I DID have admirers, I would be weirded right out. I would either be curious about who these mystery people were if I didn't know, or be stressed about how to let them down gently if I did. It wouldn't make it happy, it would make me unhappy or uncomfortable. Even if the person that liked me was someone I liked back, suddenly I'm in an awkward situation where the ball's not quite in anyone's court, and how do we proceed?

Long story short: you already know what's going on here, but when your brain is constantly contradicting your friend, it makes sense that you want to correct him. Unless you want to make things awkward, though, I wouldn't. Good luck finding a new, more mutual and productive crush!

-Uffish Thought


0 Comments
Question #81757 posted on 03/28/2015 9:02 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have the BEST idea for a song BYU should use at its sporting events. Much better than 'Turn Down For What' every five minutes. Can you help me figure out how to get in contact with the musical powers that be at BYU?

-My song ideas are burning a hole in my pocket

A:

Dear My

For football I believe you would want to get in touch with the new director of football operations. It is easy enough to find his contact info.

I don't know with whom you should speak for other sports, but if you get the ball rolling at LES perhaps it will roll right into the Marriott Center and other assorted sports venues.

-Humble Master

P.S. There are so many factors besides the awesomeness of your music taste that may make your suggestions impossible, so don't feel bad if we hear a steady stream of "Turn Down For What" in the future.


0 Comments
Question #81755 posted on 03/28/2015 8:38 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I was going to ask about LASIK too. I'm thinking about getting it but why is the cost so dang high here in Utah? My dad had it done maybe 13 years ago in California and he said it only cost about $500 per eye. Looking around here, it seems to be about $2000 per eye. I would think that since this procedure has been around for a while now that prices would drop...so why are they so expensive?

-Not YOLO

A:

Dear reincarnated being,

I got LASIK a couple years ago, in Texas, and the price was also about $2000/eye. The reason prices haven't dropped, according to lasik.com, is that the technology is continually improving:

You might be surprised to learn that the price of laser eye surgery has not changed much in the years since its approval (roughly the mid-1990s). The cost has fluctuated somewhat, yet hovered at about $2,000. This is because factors, including and especially technology and research, keep the best surgeons constantly investing in newer technology and techniques. Prepare mentally to pay about $4,000 if you want laser eye surgery in both eyes.

The machines they use, which to me appeared to do everything for them (seriously, the doctors just kind of watched), are ridiculously expensive, and they need to be maintained. The price should also include pre-op visits and post-op check-ups. Plus, those doctors' Ferraris aren't going to pay for themselves.

But seriously, if you're considering using lasers to cut open and burn away parts of your eye, this is probably one of those things you don't want to skimp on. Just sayin'.

-=Optimus Prime=-


0 Comments
Question #81756 posted on 03/28/2015 8:32 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Mental illness, homelessness, and drug use... is there a correlation between any of these three?

-For some reason, I keep wondering

A:

Dear For some reason, I keep wondering,

I have worked in substance abuse treatment for the last seven years (holy cow, when did I get old enough for that?). I've worked with adults who struggle with substance abuse and their young children in capacities such as psych tech, case manager, house manager, children's specialist, and administrator/assessment writer extraordinaire/whatever else I do. And yes, there is most definitely a correlation between any item on that list and either of the other two items.

First of all, substance abuse problems are themselves mental disorders. They are in the DSM, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, which mental health professionals use to diagnose all mental health disorders, in the section for substance use disorders. In mental health treatment, we call two psychiatric disorders that influence each other "co-occurring disorders" or we might say a client has a "dual diagnosis." For example, a young man could first have severe anxiety which he attempts to control, at least in part, by developing an eating disorder. Co-occurring disorders are very common in the realm of substance abuse. My experience, while anecdotal, would suggest that a vast majority of people who struggle with drug addiction have another psychiatric disorder. The literature appears to back me up. This study says that 47% of people with schizophrenia and 56% of people with bipolar disorder abuse drugs. NAMI offers similar results, saying that one-third of people with mental illness and half of people with severe mental illness abuse substances. According to Medline Plus, other disorders which commonly co-occur with substance abuse are depression, anxiety, and personality disorders. The National Institute on Drug Abuse says that those addicted to substances are twice as likely as the general population to have another psychiatric disorder. The literature also suggests differences between those who have addiction problems and another psychiatric disorder versus those who have a psychiatric disorder alone. According to this study, people with co-occurring psychiatric and substance use disorders were "younger and more often male; were less able to manage their lives in the community in terms of maintaining regular meals, adequate finances, stable housing, and regular activities; showed greater hostility, suicidality, and speech disorganization; and had poorer medication compliance."

So yes, I'd say there is most certainly a correlation between these two conditions. What appears to vary is causation. For some people, the psychiatric disorder comes first and leads to the substance use disorder. Some examples might be the person with depression who drinks to numb the pain, the person with bipolar disorder who uses a mixture of uppers and downers to avoid the lows and manage or intensify the highs, or the person with PTSD who uses heroin to feel whole and at peace. Other people appear to have minor psychiatric problems prior to using substances, but their use makes their disorders worse, due to substances' effects on the body and brain chemistry and the trauma that comes from substance abuse. Another group of people experience substance-induced mental illness which may go away once a person is consistently sober or which may be permanent to some degree.

Now, as for mental illness and homelessness. According to the Treatment Advocacy Center, 33% of homeless individuals have an untreated mental illness such as schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, or major depressive disorder. The National Coalition for the Homeless says that 20-25% of homeless adults have severe and persistent mental illness. The figures given my SAMHSA are slightly higher and place severe mental illness in the homeless population at 26.2%. This represents a much higher rate of these kind of disorders than one would find in the general population. SAMHSA also notes that 50% of homeless mothers have experienced major depression in the past year since becoming homeless. In the 2008 US Conference of Mayors study, mental illness was named as one of the three most prominent contributing factors toward homelessness for single adults.

While I believe correlation between homelessness and mental illness clearly exists, causation, again, gets sticky. There are certainly those for whom the psychiatric disorder came first, such as the homeless veteran with PTSD or the homeless person with schizophrenia, neither of whom could or would function in society. Then there are those for whom the homelessness came first, such as the aforementioned depressed mothers in homeless families or the LGBTQ teenagers who become homeless after being thrown out of their homes and who develop PTSD. However, the common myth that many people are homeless due to mental health facility shutdowns is probably false.

Lastly, there is the correlation between homelessness and substance abuse. By 1996, the connection between drug addiction and homelessness was a foregone conclusion in the literature. Substance abuse was another of the three most common contributing factors toward homelessness in the Conference of Mayors study mentioned above. (The other was a lack of affordable housing.) PBS reports that 38% of homeless individuals report current alcohol abuse and 26% report problems with other substances. SAMHSA says that 34.7% of homeless people suffer from chronic substance abuse issues, and that 80% of homeless individuals experience substance abuse issues over their lifetimes. Again, these are much higher rates than one would see in the general population.

Like both of the conditions discussed above, the correlation exists but the causation differs from case to case (or maybe it's nothing we suppose at all). Chronic substance abuse can certainly lead to the sort of significant economic and social losses that contribute to homelessness. Homelessness can also cause the kind of distress that people frequently turn to drugs to numb. There are also many cases where homeless people turn to drugs as a survival tactic, such as more vulnerable homeless populations that use methamphetatine to stay awake at night so they can stay aware of their surroundings.

There is also evidence that all three of these conditions are related at once. For example, in this study, 78% of homeless people with severe mental illness who ended up in a jail also had substance abuse problems. They also found that inmates with both mental illness and substance abuse issues were more likely to be homeless than other inmates. According to the United States Interagency Council on Homelessness, 70% of homeless veterans, who commonly have mental health problems, have substance abuse problems. I have certainly known many people who experienced all three, and for whom each of those conditions made the other two harder to overcome.

Just... be nice to people. Gees, life is hard sometimes.

- The Black Sheep


0 Comments
Question #81754 posted on 03/28/2015 7:08 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Bored,

Am I?

-Brevity

A:

Dear Brevity,

Maybe. 

-Haleakalā

A:

Dear Echo,

Do you think? Or do you think you're not? Although, if you think you're not, then you still are.

-Owlet

A:

Dear Brevity,

Oh bother, I didn't want to be the one to have to tell you, but...uh...no. 

No you are not.

So sorry.

-Humble Master

A:

Brief? Yes.


0 Comments
Question #81752 posted on 03/28/2015 5:56 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have mini-crushes on many people, including a friend of mine who has a girlfriend. Usually when I see him she's not around (institute and such) but if we ever end up following up on a plan I'll be sure to tell him to invite her. Apart from inviting her for our plans, what do I do about this crush? The way our lives are I wouldn't date him if he were single anyway, but it's still frustrating to have him have someone and to feel like a bad person if I want to be close with him and such.

Thanks,
loneliness has apparently made me fall for everyone

A:

Dear Martha,

Ah, I'm sorry. I'm in a similar situation, so I know how it feels. 

I just finished watching How I Met Your Mother (I know, I'm behind), and it actually helped me feel a lot better about my situation. In the show, Ted is absolutely in love with Robin. And yet, he's able to move on with his life and ends up having a family with someone completely different. Ted's experiences helped me to see that my feelings are normal, justified, and it's okay if I don't just get over them. There's a strong chance I'm always going to have some semblance of feelings for my friend, and that doesn't mean I can't fall in love with someone else. So, one recommendation I have is to watch HIMYM and learn some lessons about how to deal with loving someone who doesn't love you back.

Another recommendation is to be willing to be enthusiastic about your other crushes. Focus on figuring out what you can do to help those possibilities come to fruition, rather than obsessing over why you can't have this one guy.

No, it's not easy. But it's okay to have these feelings, as long as they don't become destructive.

-Tally M.


0 Comments
Question #81751 posted on 03/28/2015 5:50 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I've recently discovered I have hypoglycemia. Because I work 3 jobs and go to school full time and am the president of a club, and a million other things, I often have trouble eating enough during the day. To combat the shakiness and dizziness I get when my blood sugar gets too low, I often eat some candy, fruit snacks, or a granola bar. However, I've been looking for ways to manage it better, while still eating healthy. I've been doing some research online and I'm finding a big contradiction. Everyone says that you should eat some candy or raisins or something else sugary when your blood sugar is low and you start feeling the symptoms. However they also say that you need to cut out simple sugars (candy, sweets, honey, white foods) from your diet in order to manage your blood sugar long-term. I'm a bit confused, because I get the symptoms pretty much every day. So do you eat sugar or no? Anyone have an tips or tricks for dealing with hypoglycemia?

-Shaky Hands

A:

Dear Shaky,

I've recently discovered that I have type 1 diabetes, of which hypoglycemia can be a severe side effect. If I don't eat or if I give myself too much insulin, my glucose levels plummet and I get trembly, anxious, and dizzy. For the first couple of months after I was diagnosed, I was super frustrated with trying to balance my blood sugar. I felt like I was trapped in a losing cycle: my glucose levels would be way too high, so I'd give myself insulin, which would drop it to levels that were way too low, so I'd eat some sugar, which would send it shooting back up again. I felt like I was eating way more sugar and taking way more insulin than I ought to be, but I didn't know how to make them balance out.

After talking with my doctor and seeing a diabetes dietitian, however, I've made some changes in order to manage it rather more healthily than I was. The key lies in preempting the hypoglycemia by ingesting good-for-you foods that have carbohydrates but a low glycemic index. Simple sugars and some starchy foods - like candy, juice, potatoes, white flour - have high glycemic indices, meaning that the carbs in them dissolve into your blood very quickly. That's why they're great when you already have the symptoms of hypoglycemia and need to bring your blood glucose up again so that you don't faint. But, as you've noted, these foods aren't very healthy for you.

In order to beat the hypoglycemia, you have to ingest a steady stream of complex carbohydrates throughout the day; they will dissolve slowly in your blood and help to maintain your glucose at about the level you want. Plan on eating a small serving of healthy, carbohydrate-rich foods (whole grains, nuts, fruit, dairy, or starchy vegetables) about every three hours. I know you're busy and don't have a lot of time to eat. I've dealt with this by setting aside half an hour every morning to pack myself all of the food I will need throughout the day, which usually includes five or six small "meals" that have about thirty carbs apiece. No single meal takes more than two minutes to eat, so I can do it while I'm waiting for class to start or even while I'm in class or in a meeting. 

Yes, this requires more time. You'll have to sit down and decide which foods you'll like and plan what quantities you want to take with you to campus. You'll have to prepare your foods, and the healthier they are, the more time the preparation usually takes. You will have to make yourself eat during the day. But frankly, it's worth sacrificing other good things in order to take care of your health and to feel good throughout the day. If you plan carefully, you can minimize the extra time you spend and keep your hypoglycemic episodes to a minimum. Good luck!

Yours, &c.

Heidi Book


0 Comments
Question #81750 posted on 03/28/2015 5:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I think this has to be related to heterochromia, but I also haven't found any information on it. My eyes are a combination of just about every eye color besides brown. The ratio of the colors is not the same in each eye and it changes pretty frequently (sometimes on a daily basis). Whenever I have to say what color my eyes are (e.g. on my driver's license) I say green (mostly because that's what color my mom's eyes ultimately are and it seems like I got whatever gene causes this from her), but usually they are a combination of blue, grey, green, and sometimes a tiny bit of what could be called hazel. Two of my siblings eyes do the same thing, but not anywhere near as often as mine and they can still say that their eyes are 95% blue 95% of the time (we all had blue eyes when we were little). What information can you find about weird eyes that change colors? Have you heard of anyone else with eyes like this?

If you can't find anything relating to my eyes, what can you tell me about heterochromia iridum? I've read everything I could find on Wikipedia about it, but haven't had a lot of luck finding information in other places (though maybe I haven't looked hard enough). Supposedly it's rare to have any kind of heterochromia, but it seems like most (or at least a lot) of people I know have central heterochromia. So is it really that rare? Do any of you know anyone with some kind of heterochromia?

If I'm asking for too much obscure information from you, where can I go or who can I ask to find out more about all of this stuff?

-Wannabe Hobbit

A:

Hi Wannabe,

I don't know anyone with one eye that is a different color from the other eye. I have met many people who have color variations within their irises though, and I guess that if the color variations aren't exactly symmetrical, one could argue that their eyes aren't identical.  

Central heterochromia, or when the center of the eye has a different color radiating out of it, is pretty common in my family (I think... you have to get pretty close to someone's eyes to see). This site says about 11/1000 people in the United States have central heterochromia. I found that site by googling "central heterochromia rarity." That is about 1%, which is not all that uncommon, and the incidence probably increases if you only include Caucasians. 

Regarding your eyes changing colors, Wikipedia offered an explanation:

The appearance of blue and green, as well as hazel eyes, results from the Rayleigh scattering[dubious – discuss] of light in the stroma, a phenomenon similar to that which accounts for the blueness of the sky.[5] Neither blue nor green pigments are ever present in the human iris or ocular fluid.[3][6] Eye color is thus an instance of structural color and varies depending on the lighting conditions, especially for lighter-colored eyes.

-Whistler


0 Comments
Question #81740 posted on 03/28/2015 4:59 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Once when I was a freshman, I went to a CES fireside with one of my friends, and he pulled one of my long hairs out of my head, and then he captured a fly with his hands. And what he did next was unbelievable..... He tied my long blonde hair around the body of the fly, and before I knew it, we had a fly on a leash!!! The fly was moving and flying, and it was the most hilarious thing ever. I don't recall what we did next, but I imagine we let it free (so don't call PETA on us!!). Anyway, can you reenact this and record it or take a picture? I want to see a fly on a hair leash again!!! Could you please? Pretty please?

--Kool Aid Man Smashing through a Brick Wall

P.S. Oh Yeaaaaaaaah

A:

Dear KAMStaBWPSOY,

What in the world! This is ridiculous! The most ridiculous part is how many videos there are of flies on leashes! This one is with a strand of hair! This one is a fat adorable bumblebee! There's even a how-to guide! I can't keep linking to all of these, but here are my YouTube search results for "fly on a leash"! 

-Mico! 

A:

Dear,

Fun fact! My dad did this with junebugs. So did my friend, but he would do it with wasps for added challenge and danger.

-Uffish Thought

A:

Dear Wade,

I've heard of people catching flies, freezing them, and sticking McDonald's drink straws on their rear ends. Apparently this makes them only able to fly upwards. I don't recommend this, for cruelty reasons.

-M.O.D.A.Q.


0 Comments
Question #81749 posted on 03/28/2015 4:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My favorite kind of toothpaste in the world is Crest Wintergreen toothpaste. I haven't been able to find it since I've been home from my mission. I looked on Crest's website and it says there are currently no online retailers for this product. I looked on Amazon hoping to find some. There were several matches BUT THEY ALL SAID CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE. Has Crest discontinued this kind of toothpaste? Why isn't it available on Amazon? Is there anywhere I can find my beloved toothpaste?

Also do you have a favorite kind of toothpaste?

-Kinda weird about my toothpaste

A:

Dear weirdo,

As long as you don't mind whitening (and French), you can still buy it in the Canadian Amazon, but there were only 7 left when I pasted the link (probably because of this person). But other than that, it looks like you're out of luck.

I prefer Colgate, myself; perhaps it's time you made the switch.

-=Optimus Prime=-


0 Comments
Question #81748 posted on 03/28/2015 3:56 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I get that I'm a rare woman in that I don't begrudge men the right to not be interested in me. There are men I'm not interested in, why should I expect every man I'm interested in to be interested in me?

But when I'm indirectly rejected by these men (through unreciprocated interest) they always seem to get really weirded out when I don't flip out or I don't stop being friendly towards them. Men hate "crazy" women--and I guess I'm just supposed to be okay with the fact that they also hate me for not being "crazy"?

Why do men have to make it so uncomfortably awkward just because you're interested in them and they aren't in you?

Isn't that the point of the friendzone? So that you can still be friends with the opposite gender even though you aren't dating?

Should I just accept that I've reached an age where I'll never have male friends again until I'm married?

-Here's the the Millennium on that one then...

A:

Dear Here,

I had this friend when I was at BYU who I used to go play ultimate frisbee with all the time. She and I probably saw each other at least twice a week for several hours at a time. We even shared a rule that while we could find a game, we would not leave the field. After every game we could find was finished, we would commonly stay on the field playing catch and talking for another 10 or 20 minutes. We were close friends. It honestly never occurred to me that she was interested in me. Not, that is, until one day when she called me and asked me to go on a walk. I met her at her apartment and about five seconds after we left, she was telling me that she was romantically interested in me and that she would like to pursue a relationship.

I just couldn't return her interest. I didn't even know why (I still don't). I just didn't want to date her even though we were good friends. And I told her so. We talked for a while until we got back to her apartment and then I went back to mine thinking that I'd lost my frisbee buddy because how can you have a platonic relationship with someone after something like that? But it didn't go that way. A day or two later, one of the two of us (I can't remember which) called the other to go play frisbee. And we went. And it was awkward. I mean, how could it not be? Usually, after you put your cards on the table, you get a new hand. But here we were playing the same game knowing exactly the cards the other one was holding. But we ended up staying friends for years.

There was another girl I was interested in. A month or two after we met, I started spending more time at her apartment. She would say things like, "I like it when you're here. You should come over more." So I did. And then I asked her out and she turned me down because she just wasn't that interested. The next time we saw each other, it was weird and we avoided each other. And then we never talked again ever.

The difference between these two situations? Pushing through the awkward.

I think it makes perfect sense that a guy might feel uncomfortable if you keep paying attention to him after he's told you he's not interested in you. Mostly, this comes in the flavor of oh-man-this-girl-just-won't-give-up. And, speaking from experience on both sides of that coin, I can see why a guy might be exceptionally careful around you to (1) make sure he doesn't send any signals that might be misinterpreted as a change of mind and (2) protect himself from a girl who might be crazy. If you really want to stay friends, you have to push through the awkward. It will take more effort than it did before the relationship attempt (for a while). My first friend and I made it through because, at some point, we openly acknowledged it. I can't remember who started the conversation, but one or the other of us came up and said, "I still think you're great and I still want to play frisbee with you, and not doing that just because we aren't in a relationship is stupid." And then we made the effort to see each other and the awkward died down. In your case, you might have to say something like, "Just so you know, I got the message and I'm not playing the long game here. I just still value your friendship" (and you have to really mean it). Not everyone will be ok with that, but those who are will see your efforts and respond.

The Man with a Mustache


0 Comments
Posted on 03/28/2015 1:52 p.m. New Comment on: #81645 Does BYU do animal husbandry? I haven't heard of any classes, but what about the Creamery? ...
Question #81747 posted on 03/28/2015 1:50 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I didn't write question Board Question #81632, but it has been something I have been thinking about lately. I guess I would rephrase that question into this one. How would you react if you were a child with a parent remarrying after the death of the other parent? How would you initially respond and then what would you do to try to change your feelings if they weren't positive ones?

-Cubrella Superstar

A:

Dear Cubrella Superstar,

I think how you would feel about such a situation would depend a lot on how your future stepmother or stepfather treated you.

My parents had been sealed in the temple but when I was a teenager my family went inactive and my parents divorced. Since then both of my parents have remarried. I haven't seen my father in many years and I've never met his new wife and, well, I'm completely fine with that. My mom, however, is pretty awesome and she married this really great guy who has such a good heart. It makes me so happy to see her with someone who respects her, cherishes her and admires her. It's a positive situation, really, but I can see how it easily could have taken a different direction.

-Sky Bones 

A:

Dear Computer Science:

Oh, dear.

A year after my mother croaked, not even cold in her grave, my (adoptive) father popped the question to a woman in his neighborhood. I was out of the state, my brother was abroad, my kid sister an unhappy spectator.

It has been, without a doubt, the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life.

My mother was funny, sarcastic, absolutely gorgeous, and really "got" us kids. She always, always put us number one. 

My father getting sealed, making a very much permanent commitment, to a woman who I find to be overbearing, unfunny, unkind, and to be the epitome of self-centeredness, makes me have a sinking pit in the bottom of my stomach. 

During the reception itself, on one of the coldest winter days we've experienced in the past couple of years, I went into a dissociative state. Her parents—whom I particularly can't stand and in whom I find no redeeming value—hugging me (strangers! hugging me! I don't even know) and alluding to me as their "grandchild" made me simultaneously dizzy and nauseated. I have grandparents whom I love, and who love me. Frankly, I'm an adult—I found it to be a huge violation of my boundaries, with my actual grandmother standing right there—and I find these people to be idiots.

My little sister said she would rather go through our mother dying again than see our father get remarried again. It's that bad.

So, initial reaction was complete shock and denial.

I have done literally nothing to try to change my feelings. Every interaction fills me with silent loathing, or becomes a blow-up wherein she fails to see me as an autonomous individual, with a pre-existing stake in my family.

The only upside to this is that my brother and I have bonded in our mutual misery. He's my best friend, and we have many laughs at the expense of the situation.

I respect my father, but I don't respect the current state of affairs. My well-being isn't worth any more than the most cursory interactions with someone whom I detest, where the feeling is mutual. I am still close to both grandmothers and my grandfather. The new wife is bad enough: her extended family is, if anything, worse. We don't see eye-to-eye on any issue. None. Zero.  

My sole coping mechanism has been, if nothing else, my abiding sense of humor. 

To drop in more Pandora-inspired lyrics that pop up, here's some Pink Martini:

And so I hold on to his advice
When change is hard and not so nice
You listen to your heart the whole night through
Your sunny someday will come one day soon to you
 
That's the only thing that keeps me going in this Cinderella situation. The hope against hope that somewhere out there, there's a speck of happiness and love for me, too.

---Portia

A:

Dear Cubrella,

My aunt passed away when I was in my senior year of high school. Two years later, after my cousin returned home from his mission, my uncle remarried in the temple. My cousins actually took it very well and quickly became good friends with their step siblings. I don't know exactly what about the situation made it a positive experience for them, but my guess is that my uncle did a good job being open with and considerate towards his kids, as well as the fact that his new wife is a lovely person. It also seems like my aunt would be happy with the way it turned out. I don't have a lot of helpful advice about how someone else could create a similarly positive experience, but I did want to assure you that it's possible. 

-Zedability


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Question #81746 posted on 03/28/2015 1:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm considering taking Econ 110 as a pre-req for classes at a graduate school that isn't BYU (mostly because it is macro and micro jammed into one class and would be cheaper than tuition). I would have to take it through independent study.

It's been a few years since I've been on campus, but it seems like people loved econ and picked up on the concepts quickly, or struggled desperately with it.

What should I know in order to prepare to do well in Econ 110? Is there anything in Kearl's class and not in the textbook that could help me succeed in Econ 110?

Also as an almost, but not quite separate question, is there any way to find out what the grade distribution in Independent Study class is? I am wondering how well the average student does in the Econ 110 independent study class.

-I've been turned into a blueberry

A:

Dear Blueberry,

So here's the thing: as you've already mentioned, people either loved Econ 110 or hated it. There's rarely any in-between. Dr. Kearl's class is especially this way. On the one hand, professor Kearl's class is fascinating. He teaches in a way that is interesting and engaging. He makes you want to learn economics. He loves the subject and he wants his students to love it too. On the other hand, his tests are difficult (although he curves the class so the same grade distribution exists between him and the other professors) and he seems to be allergic to technology. He literally brought in paper copies of the syllabus the first day for several hundred students, although he did later upload it to Learning Suite.

The Independent Study class is taught by Dr. Kearl, so make sure you read the book and any associated information from independent study. I say this because in his physical class, I found that I couldn't get away with just attending lecture or just reading the book. I had to do both. The book is helpful, and for the first few lectures the book covered everything. However, as the semester continued, there was important information in lecture that was not in the book and vice-versa.

Also, for what it's worth, for a while I was considering taking Econ 110 as an independent study course before I took the class normally. Since Dr. Kearl was listed as the instructor, I went by his office and asked him what a student would need to do to be successful. He did say that the grades tended to be somewhat lower in the independent study course than the actual course. Since I didn't see what the average grade was in my regular course, I can't give any specific guidance beyond that. Apparently they're just somewhat lower.

- Haleakalā


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Question #81744 posted on 03/28/2015 12:56 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

As a student employee I have faced an ethical problem that is hard to describe. Well, maybe it isn't an ethical problem. . . I don't know. Anyway, in most of my jobs I've had on campus I get the things done I need to in much less time than my boss gives me to do it. However, I don't want to be done because I need the hours! So I am faced with a few options such as 1) taking extra long to do basic tasks so I can fill my time 2) Get the task done quickly like normal and then do homework or surf the Internet and try not to feel bad about it 3) Clock out and try not to feel bad about the fact that I really need the money 4) ask the 100 Hour board for advice while feeling all sorts of conflicted. In some positions I have just told my boss repeatedly "LOOK I HAVE NOTHING TO DO" and then if they don't respond I feel less guilt and just do homework or whatever. In my current position though this situation just doesn't work for a variety of reasons, and plus I don't want to come across as "needing to be commanded in all things." I would like to be a great employee that contributes to whatever thing I am working for you know?

So, after that long prologue here are my questions. 1) Do any of you ever experience such dilemmas with campus jobs? 2) What advice do you have?

-Trapped

A:

Dear Trapped,

You don't need to tell your boss "LOOK I HAVE NOTHING TO DO," but maybe you could have one conversation with him or her about it? I don't think it would be out of line to ask if there are other ongoing projects he or she might want you to work on. That having been said, if your boss is aware that you don't have anything to do, I don't think you should feel bad about doing homework. I've faced this dilemma both as a BYU student and in prior employment. Here are my personal rules for working on personal projects at work:

  1. My boss has to know. You don't need to advertise that you're working on something personal, but your boss must be aware that you're being paid and you don't have anything else to work on at the moment. Then he or she can make that call. Maybe your boss wants you to stay in case something comes up. This doesn't need to be done on a repeating basis. If your boss is aware that this sometimes happens, that should be enough.
  2. Is there anything else at all that I could be doing? I don't do personal work if there's anything else work related that I could be working on, even if it requires me to be proactive and seek out that project. 
  3. Don't clutter the workspace. It's probably not okay to take out an excessive number of books or papers to work on homework. If you have access to a computer and can open another browser tab, that's probably okay. It's also okay to take out a sheet of paper or a book. If it takes more than that, leave it for later.
  4. Drop all personal work immediately if work comes up. If anything work-related comes up, no matter how trivial, drop what you're doing right away, even if that "30 more seconds" would have saved you time later. Remember, you're being paid for your services.

Good luck!

- A Writer

A:

Dear great employee,

I had this problem frequently in my last two jobs. They were both largely work from home so the employers thought, "oh, it should take X amount of time for you to do X work." In reality, it took less time than that. I felt guilty all the time for taking less time to complete the work, so I did two things. One was like you suggested: check your work often and go slowly. This may not be feasible depending on what you do, but if you are able to double- and triple-check your work then do so. Also do it more slowly than you like. Listen to music if you can, check your guidelines or some resource that will tell you how to do your job better. Stretch out the time. Write an email to your supervisor and be really careful about your wording and punctuation choices.

All of this might not work! You might still be finishing your work. So here's the second thing. You were hired to work X amount of hours per week. This means they already have allotted the money to you. I don't condone doing 5 hours of work and saying it is 20; but if you do a good deal of work, and do it well, and it still isn't quite 20, but it is close, then it is not entirely wrong to say you worked 20 hours. For me "close" means about 15 out of 20 hours. Maybe for you you won't feel like it is "close" unless it is 18. But the point is that they have already decided to pay you for that much time and if you have done all you can to reach the limit, asking as you have to get more work, then this is more or less expected. When I was working less than 20 hours per week on my most recent job, I got a warning email saying, "you need to work the full 20 hours or else you're out." I told them I was a fast worker, I asked for more to do and got it when they had any but I still was sometimes just below the 20 hours mark. They didn't care that I was only taking on a little more work, they only cared that their accounting people could still say that each person did 20 hours of work. It doesn't make sense to us workerbees, but it does to them.

Finally (wow, I have a lot of opinions!), a lot of undergraduate campus jobs anywhere at almost any campus expect that you will be doing a little bit of personal work in your downtime. You didn't specify your job, but say you are a TA and no one comes to your office hours. Of course you can work on personal work! What else would you do, stare at the wall? Say you are a receptionist and you already answered every email, reorganized the office, watered the plant, put paper in the printer, and asked your supervisor if there is anything else. There is just nothing else! You aren't a busy corporate person who always has another thing to do and your supervisor knows it. 

Double good luck!

-Mico


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Question #81743 posted on 03/28/2015 12:08 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So in the movies, people "buy" stars for someone they love and it's a super romantic gift. So... How much does an expression of your devotion cost? When I checked online, it only looked like $30 to get a star registered in whatever name you choose, but is that true? Would you buy a star for someone (though really it's all arbitrary and why pay when you can just pretend to name a star for someone for free). Ya know? Thoughts?

-Butterfly & Bones

A:

Dear Doctor,

Be careful about such a thing. It's actually a scam. The IAU warns:

The IAU frequently receives requests from individuals who want to buy stars or name stars after other persons.  Some commercial enterprises purport to offer such services for a fee.  However, such "names" have no formal or official validity whatever: A few bright stars have ancient, traditional Arabic names, but otherwise stars have just catalogue numbers and positions on the sky.  Similar rules on "buying" names apply to star clusters and galaxies as well.  For bodies in the Solar System, special procedures for assigning official names apply (see the IAU theme "Naming Astronomical Objects"), but in no case are commercial transactions involved.

As an international scientific organization, the IAU dissociates itself entirely from the commercial practice of "selling" fictitious star names or "real estate" on other planets or moons in the Solar System. Accordingly, the IAU maintains no list of the (several competing) enterprises in this business in individual countries of the world.  Readers wanting to contact such enterprises despite the explanations given below should search commercial directories in their country of origin.

And you might bring the wrath of an alien planet upon the planet Earth if you do such a thing.

-Tally M.


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Question #81742 posted on 03/28/2015 12:02 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So... have you've gotten your palm read just for kicks and giggles? Because I kinda want to. But my mom always told me to never support that kind of sophistry.... But I'm just curious what their technique is. Do they think they have a technique? Do they believe it themselves? Or is it like we all imagine (they know they are just making stuff up -- like do they have a template that they just fill in the blanks with observations)?

How much does a palm reading cost? I want to just try it!!!! How long do they last?

--Kool Aid Man Smashing through a Brick Wall

P.S. Oh Yeaaaaaaaah

A:

Dear Kool and the Gang,

For my wife's birthday this year I took her to a palm reader.* There are about a half dozen on a particular street that we drive down often and we'd always joked that it would be fun to try. The lady we went to had a simple palm reading price of $10, but competition is fierce in this area (apparently) so prices may vary for you. The full tarot reading was much more expensive.

As for what it was like, first let me set the scene. We pulled off the state highway into the trailer park right at 7pm, when our appointment was set. The palm reader had asked me to call her earlier that day to remind her confirm that we were coming, and when we knocked a young, thin, ambiguously non-white woman wearing regular street clothes let us in. The living room where we were seated was disappointingly normal (well, trailer park normal), not really any mystical decorations. From the other room, we could hear the sounds of a child playing a violent video game.

She confirmed that we both wanted the introductory palm reading, and then explained to us that the first reading may influence the result of the second reading, somehow. Since it was my wife's birthday, she got to go first. I assumed the palm reader would examine the lines on our hands and interpret them, but instead as we went in turn she asked us each a few simple biographical questions, then had us hold out our dominant hand palm up, paused dramatically for a few seconds, then started to read us, looking mostly into our eyes and not at our palms.

The readings took probably 5-10 minutes each, during which she often used vague horoscope-like generalities to try to define our current moods and situations, but every so often would venture into more solid predictions of what she saw coming for each of us. She read my wife almost completely wrong, especially regarding her current emotional/spiritual/mental state and personality. She got a lot closer with me, but also gave several mildly specific predictions that have yet to be fulfilled.

After our readings, I asked her how she got into the business of reading palms and she said that her grandmother was a Native American medicine woman who guided her in the mystic arts. I bit my tongue and didn't ask how that related to tarot cards (or the Virgin Mary statue on her end table). I was not fully convinced she believed it, but she did a good job pretending she did at least.

I'm not sure if our experience is typical or if other palm readers do things differently, but I say if you want to go and you feel comfortable with it, give it a shot. It was a mildly creepy, but mostly fun experience.

-=Optimus Prime=-

*As part of a "low-class" date that also involved greasy food, a pawn shop, and a smoke-filled pool hall


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Question #81741 posted on 03/28/2015 11:56 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So is it really comforting for humans to curl up in the fetal position and cry? Because.... when I'm in the fetal position, I don't feel comforted and I don't feel comfortable. It feels really awkward. So is this fetal position thing a myth? A statement people use? Or is it legit, and I'm just weird? If it is legit, can you explain to me the reasonings behind it? (I get that the fetal position might evoke feelings of when we were in the womb..... but it doesn't for me).

-Pills & Pillows

A:

Dear Pills,

After browsing the Internet, the best answer I found was actually on reddit, of all places:

Simple answer: We don't know.

Postulation: The fetal position may be a learned response, similar to how some people sit and sway back and forth when distressed.

Since we associate the position with fetuses, or young babies, it may be a visual cue to others, expressing "I am not a threat" or a request for attention and/or comfort.

It may also serve the functions of protecting the face, head, anterior vital organs, and the genitals from attack.

Furthermore, try bending the other way... Not as comfortable, right?

I can think of a handful of times in my life where I've felt so upset that it physically felt like there was a giant empty hole in my chest, and curling up in the fetal position and crying really did make that feel better than anything else.

If you don't find it comforting, it could be because you never "learned" that response; for instance, nobody close to you ever did it, or you didn't hear as much about it until later in life. Alternatively, some people have especially tight tendons or other physical things that are largely unnoticeable in daily life, but can make sitting, kneeling, or lying in certain positions uncomfortable. It's possible that you're inflexible in some way and the fetal position isn't as comfortable for you because of that.

-Zedability

A:

Dear Pills,

After a quick survey we determined that for monkeys it is comforting for 47 of 100, comfortable for 27 of 100, and the only way to sleep for 1 of 100. We have no data for humans.

-100 Typing Monkeys


0 Comments
Question #81730 posted on 03/28/2015 11:50 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Who are some celebrities who are adopted? I know of Nicole Ritchie, Faith Hill + Tim McGraw, and Bill Clinton.

-Famous Fanny

A:

Dear Basil,

Off-hand, I only know Kristin Chenoweth. I feel like, being adopted myself, I should know more, but I have failed. Luckily, Buzzfeed has a list of 23 Famous People You Didn't Know Were Adopted. There is also another list of not only famous adoptees, but famous adoptive parents, in case you're interested in that.

-Marguerite St. Just


0 Comments
Question #81739 posted on 03/28/2015 10:14 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is this a true story? I mean I know satan is real, but if he really has the ability to disrupt our lives like this seems like he would make it a lot harder to choose the right... Like ever. Also, I'm pretty sure satan doesn't have a body so....


-skeptic

A:

Dear Skeptic,

I looked for a primary source, and managed to trace the story back to an article by Rudger Clawson (an Apostle) in The Deseret News, Dec 12, 1936, Vol. 344, No. 61. However, I was not able to look up the actual article to verify its legitimacy. The story appears to have been quoted in a number of published books, though, so if it is fiction, it's in the category of long-standing Mormon myths and not Internet-only Mormon myths. This article, which is dedicated to disproving folklore about Hugh Nibley, references it as if it is a true story.

I think the closest we can get to determining the truth of this is to say that President Merrill doesn't appear to have given any firsthand accounts, but it was recounted secondhand by an Apostle who was alive when the events apparently took place.

-Zedability


0 Comments
Question #81736 posted on 03/28/2015 8:38 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

As a follow-up to #81641: Forgive my non-charitable thinking, but what "benefits of loving others" are there if I remain unloved or unequally loved? If I have close friends I give and receive love to and from then life is good, but otherwise what do I gain? I'm down with truly loving a spouse and giving them 100% but that's because I expect to marry someone who will do their utmost to give me 100% back, even if sometimes (periods of stress or depression) their 100% is not equal to my 100%.

Thanks,
defensive porcupine

A:

Dear porcupine, 

Okay, one thing that I think you should really work on is loving yourself. It's awesome to truly love others, but you will get hurt if you don't love yourself just as much as you love others. It takes a lot of effort to get to a place where you can say that you freely give love without expecting anything in return. I try to love any and everyone, but it took me years to get to the point where I wasn't bothered if the love and kindness I gave wasn't reciprocated. I had to work really hard at appreciating myself and squashing my self-doubt. 

Once you fully and completely love yourself, loving others is a piece of cake.  

-Ms.O'Malley

A:

Dear Porcupine,

I think it is important to remember that no one loves perfectly, and 100 percent, except Christ. You will never be able to give someone that 100 percent love, and they will never be able to give it to you. However, it is important to try because we are trying to become like Him. He loved those who despised Him, therefore we ought to as well. 

Gospel principles aside though, humans are variable creatures. We ebb and flow all the time. Some days you love someone, some days you can't stand them. It is part of being human. You can't expect everyone else to be on the same level of feeling as you all, or even most, of the time. We are all different. We feel differently, and love grows and changes within us each differently. By accepting the humanity in others, and allowing this ebb and flow in feelings and relationships to simply be a part of your life, I think you will be able to grow stronger relationships.

But wait, what if you find that you and another person are consistently on different levels when it comes to loving each other? What is the point of your relationship then? In that sort of situation, I think it is about learning to be vulnerable, humble, and open. Just because you love someone more than they love you, or vice versa, does not mean your friendship cannot work. Don't feel like you need to dwell on that disparity, but rather seek to find a balance in loving behavior that is comfortable for the two of you.

I personally feel, quite often in fact, that I love or care about my friends more than they do me. At times in my life, I have allowed this to let me become lazy in the relationship or unwilling to show my love in our relationship for fear of that disparity being apparent. However, I have also noted that much of the time when I feel like this, it is more of an illusion in my head, and by refusing to use that love to connect, I have harmed the friendship or relationship by not seeking the level of connection that I want. From these experiences, I have learned that just because there is disparity of feeling does not mean I need to behave any differently. It simply is an opportunity to learn. 

I don't know if this comes across intelligibly, but in short I am saying that love is important, disparity isn't.

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger  

A:

Dear porco-espiño defensiva:

From On ne badine pas avec l'amour by Alfred de Musset:

In love often one is deceived, often wounded, often unhappy: but one loves, and on the edge of the tomb one looks back to review the past, and one says to one's self—I have often suffered, made many a mistake, but I have loved. I, 'tis I that have lived,—not an artificial being created by my pride or my indolence.

One does not trifle with love, indeed. A life fully lived is its own reward.

---Portia

A:

Dear person,

There are many people in the world with a tremendous capacity to love, like I suspect you have. From reading your two questions, I wonder if you believe in their existence. If you don't, I really want you to know that there are people out there who are capable of caring deeply about you, of loving you, of feeling joy because you are happy and of feeling sad because you are in pain. These people exist and, in time, they can be found.

In your last question, The Soulful Ginger referenced a TED talk by Brené Brown, who said that the only real difference between the people who have a sense of love and belonging and the people who don't is this: the people who feel love and belonging feel that they are worthy of love and belonging. That's it.

Assuming she is right, and I think she is, that is incredibly powerful stuff. I think it is empowering to realize that fears of not having love and belonging may be fueled by not having a strong sense of worthiness of love and belonging. I don't know if this fits you but it might be something to think about.

Lastly, I want to let you know that I can relate. It feels absolutely horrible when you realize that you care about someone more than they care about you and it makes sense to be afraid of that feeling. Nevertheless, I hope you find a way to move through your fears to find the people who are capable of love and to be capable of feeling loved by them in the first place.

-Sheebs


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Question #81733 posted on 03/28/2015 8:38 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What do you all know about Idaho Falls, Idaho? I've never been there and a friend (who is not LDS) is considering moving there for an internship. He is aware that it isn't a big city or anything but I don't think he knows there's such a large LDS population-- do you know what the percentage is? Is it something I should forewarn him of? Is it a hard place to live if you're not Mormon?

-East Coast girl

A:

Dear Wade,

I spent about a year of my mission in Idaho Falls. It's great. It's not super Mormon but it is significantly Mormon. I'd say anywhere from 60-80% depending on the area. (I served in an area in Idaho Falls that covered four wards and was a square mile. Although, that was technically Ammon, which is more Mormon than Idaho Falls.) I don't think it'd be a hard place to live if you weren't a Mormon. I met plenty of people there that weren't Mormon and they all seemed to enjoy it. I don't think the town is "Mormon enough" (like, I don't know, Rexburg) that it's worth "forewarning" him about.

-M.O.D.A.Q.

A:

Dear East Coast,

Mr. Olympus has some info on this and wanted to help, but he's too busy making snickerdoodle bars, so instead he offers this. City-Data is a great site for stuff like this.

-Olympus

A:

Dear East ~

Idaho Falls is 56.9% LDS.

No, it's not a hard place to live if you're not LDS. I mean, he'll probably be introduced to the Church several times, but I think that so long as he doesn't resent that, he'll do great.

Idaho Falls is a wonderful place, in my opinion. It's big enough that you have most everything you need close at hand, but you can still get the country feel, just by driving 10-15 minutes in any direction. I grew up less than 15 minutes away, in a don't-blink-you'll-miss-it town called Ririe and am still fond of the area, despite having lived in much bigger cities in Utah for the past 11 years.

If it's just an internship, it's not permanent. New things are great to try when you have a guaranteed out at the end.

~ Dragon Lady


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Question #81738 posted on 03/28/2015 8:14 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So wait, for reunion a, it starts on the 28th, but does that mean they start answering things on the 28th, or do they start answering on the 24th and then that stuff posts on the 28th?

-100 hours behind?

A:

Dear you,

Alumni Week starts on the 27th. All writers will have access to any questions are currently in the inbox on that day. So if you asked a question on the 22nd, they probably missed it since we never, ever, ever, ever let answers go over 100 hours. If you asked a question from the 23-25, there's a good chance it has already been answered but a few of the old writers may chime in. 

-Ms.O'Malley


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