"My flabber was completely gasted." - Rating Pending

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Question #88088 posted on 09/27/2016 7:06 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Where's my iocain powder?

I certainly can't match his wits...

-Man in the Mask

A:

Dear you,

Insert Princess Bride joke here.

Love,

Luciana


0 Corrections
Question #88005 posted on 09/27/2016 2:30 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I used to have a friend who was an amazing conversationalist. He could talk to pretty much anyone about anything and it was always interesting or fun. He could also defuse the tension in what would normally be a difficult conversation. I felt like I could talk to him about anything which was a rare thing for me. I would love to develop this skill, but I don't know how. What can I do that will help others feel comfortable talking to me and make them enjoy conversing with me?

-Tongue tied

A:

Dear person,

I have been told I am good at this by people before and I think I am okay, so I will tell you some of the things that have helped me. I don't think there's only one way to do be good at talking to people and everyone has their own style, so don't take all of this as the gospel truth. Figure out what works for you! Also, don't be discouraged if it takes time to figure out how to do this all gracefully. Everyone is a little bit awkward.

The most important thing I can think of is this: be genuinely interested in who the other person is and what she or she feels and thinks. Try to understand them, like a puzzle. This helps to build up a connection and most people love that. So ask more detailed follow up questions about things that the person says ("You want to be a podiatrist? What inspired you to want to do that?" "You went to Germany last summer? That sounds so cool! What did you do when you were there?"). Start small and over time, figure out what their hopes and dreams are.

Use your judgment with this next tip because I think how it works depends a lot on your relationship with the person, but try to be aware of their emotions and be willing to engage with them on that level. If someone looks like they are feeling down, go over and talk to them and make sure they are okay. If you know your friend is hangry, tease them about it a little. If someone seems extra happy, find out why. It doesn't have to be a deep and dark thing, and most of the time it isn't. Talking about feelings creates more feelings, usually good ones. I find this particularly helpful for acquaintances I am interested in getting to know a bit better or friends who I want an ongoing relationship with. Feelings can be an endless source of interesting things to talk about. Sometimes people don't like talking about them in which case back off, but a lot do and will find it very refreshing that you are very comfortable to be around.

Also, be prepared for reciprocation. If you consistently do the above many people will show interest in you. Don't be afraid to talk about something you are thinking about! People want to know about your feelings and reactions to things. They want to hear your funny stories and your hopes and your dreams. Don't monopolize the conversation, but recognize that what you have to contribute is valuable. The more honest you are in your sharing of stories, feelings, and ideas, the more people will probably want to connect with you. Nice people that you want to be friends with, anyways. Also, if you have trouble empathizing with others in as sophisticated a way as you would like, pay attention to how you feel when you talk to other people. Why do certain people make you feel a certain way? What do you wish people would do? Your feelings are valuable feedback. They take time to learn from but if you are noticing a pattern, it might have something to tell you.

Finally, some people are just not interested in connecting for whatever reason. Don't take it personally, because it probably isn't. There are probably even people that reject your friend because they are busy or don't like to connect with others or are tired or whatever.

I hope this gives you some ideas! Good luck!

-Sheebs 


0 Corrections
Question #88082 posted on 09/27/2016 2:30 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I love instrumental music while I am studying, (the classical music section of the library is my home.) But I recently fell in love with Patience by the Lumineers as well as Interlude 2 by Alt J. Since these artists don't normally do instrumentals, it is really hard to find similarly relaxing songs. Could you help me find a study playlist that might include these songs and other hidden instrumental gems?

Thanks!

-Pseudonym

A:

Dear Pseudomonas,

I started a Pandora station using Patience as a seed, then proceeded to thumb-up any instrumental songs and thumb-down anything with words. I also thumb-downed the songs that got a little too fiddly, since I was looking more for the piano. The artists that it ended up giving me were Renee Michele, Jim Hudak, Gunnar Madsen, Boo Hewerdine, and The Well Pennies.

Also, April's suggestion below is a great one. One of my favorite video game soundtracks is Portal 2: Songs To Test By, which is available for free online.

-The Entomophagist

A:

Dear Sufedrin,

Pro-tip: Listen to music from video games.  Video game soundtracks are designed to provide stimulation but still stay in the background so it doesn't disrupt your concentration.  I personally love the music of Zelda (especially Twilight Princess), and the old-timey music found in BioShock.

If you really want to get motivated and work quickly and efficiently, the Tetris music is the best thing ever.

-April Ludgate


0 Corrections
Question #88069 posted on 09/27/2016 12:36 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

When people refer to "God's plan" I get really confused. Isn't God's plan for us just the plan of salvation? Wouldn't it sort of negate agency if God had a specific plan for where we lived, went to school, worked, who we married, how many kids we had, etc.? While I believe he loves us all, and there are a few people he had specific things in mind for (maybe they were even alternates if someone else screwed up), I just can't imagine him being that much of a helicopter/architect parent.

What do you think?


-Duchess of Nope

A:

Dear Duchess

As I see it, it's about opportunity. God knows us, and He knows that, outside of the scope of the Plan of Salvation, there are different things that will make us happy in life. These things might involve our different talents and/or interests and most certainly vary from person to person. Additionally, while God's overall plan for His children is the same, how it gets carried about is different for everyone. For example, hardly any of us will ever become an Apostle, and even fewer will lead the Church as the Prophet. Even in less extreme examples, it's possible that someone could go their entire life without serving in the Young Men's or Young Women's organizations. That would be according to God's plan as well (He directs the Church, after all), and it would all depend on the talents and skills the individual has, the talents that God wanted to help them develop, and the opportunities they would have to serve others.

Basically, God's main goal is to make us happy, and outside of the Plan of Salvation, there are a lot of ways to do that. If we live righteously and stay in tune with the Spirit, I believe we'll become aware of opportunities to be happy that we wouldn't have been aware of otherwise.

-Frère Rubik

A:

Dear DN,

God isn't a micromanager. He'd much rather have us own our decisions (as long as they're good) than to decide everything for us. He lets us make the major decisions in our lives, though He's always there to help.

I firmly believe God has an individual plan for each one of us. The system of patriarchal blessings seems to support that. But to me, that doesn't mean that God has planned out my entire life for me. It feels more like God has prepared a number of opportunities and responsibilities suited for me, to give my life purpose and to teach me what I need to learn.

The whole point of the plan of salvation is to preserve our agency. Of course God makes plans to bless us. To not do so would be serious neglect. But life's purpose is not to uncover an imaginary timeline that God made without us. It's to make our own decisions and receive God's help along the way.

-Kirito


0 Corrections
Question #88053 posted on 09/27/2016 12:12 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Have you ever set standards in a relationship on the types of things you do or don't feel comfortable doing? What if the other person doesn't agree with what you set??

-My Name Here

A:

Dear you,

Yes. Man, Certainly and I did this. We had a written set of "the rules" for us. In addition, I remember at least one thing that I just spoke to him about. I think consciously setting standards can be nice, because it helps put both of you on the same page so that you can be working under the same understanding of what the two of you are or aren't in favor of, rather than being pretty closely aligned, but having to deal with one of you being 10% off from the other one and that ending up in one individual being uncomfortable.

In my opinion if the other person doesn't necessarily agree, you've got a few things to consider:

1) If there are disagreements, people shouldn't be pressured to do things they're uncomfortable with. In fact, if someone is not willing to cope with another individual's comparable conservatism it may either indicate that A) one party (or both) has strong opinions on this subject that might not make the two a good match or B) the relationship experiences a lack of respect for closely-held beliefs of the one or both parties.

Is it theoretically possible that setting these boundaries could actually result in couples breaking up because they don't agree? Yes. However, I think that in this case that might not be a terrible thing, since failure to compromise means that one or both partners will feel uncomfortable with things they're asked or expected to do or not do in the relationship.

~Anne, Certainly

A:

Dear Reader,

When Tally and I were dating we had some rules. She was living alone and we liked spending time at her apartment more than in mine (with my 5 roommates) so we set some boundaries. They were specific to us like, no sleeping over on the couch (because it was a 45 min drive there and when I needed to do stuff near her apartment the next day I would stay at a friend's house), no showering in the other person's apartment (because I had a martial arts class near her so I was sweaty afterwards (not really a problem for her at my place)), no kissing with the tongue, curfew at 9:30(ish) so the other person could drive home and get to bed at a reasonable time, and other rules of the like.

We didn't create all of those rules at the same time, it was more like we created them as they came up. There were several times where we needed to reevaluate or reinforce those rules but we both agreed on our decisions and we were very open about our beliefs and opinions. Good communication was absolutely necessary for setting boundaries and enforcing them so we could say "Hey, maybe we should tone down the kissing" without feeling offended or defensive. 

Now, you asked about disagreements. Fortunately, we didn't really have many disagreements on rules and I think that was due in part to us have a similar goal. We both wanted to get married in the temple and create a healthy and happy family. We saw dating as a way to start good habits for a future family that we could have so, when we would have a question of morality or any other concern, we could ask each other if it would help us come closer together, get married in the temple, and/or have a healthy and happy family. Using that method we were able to communicate our expectations very clearly. Like I said, we pretty much agreed on all of the boundaries we had set so it wasn't much of a problem, but I was prepared to talk about disagreements because we had such open and honest communication. If you are currently disagreeing with your SO then I would suggest setting apart a time where you can talk openly and directly about the problem. Take turns talking, don't talk over each other or try to defend yourself while the other is talking. When it's your turn, explain your opinion and why you believe that. Allow the other to do the same. After both have sufficiently explained, ask which is better for your goals. If you decided to follow the other person's rule, would it have negative effects on either of you? What about your rule? Discuss those things until you both agree rather than just enduring the rule begrudgingly.

Now, I have not studied psychology, therapy, or counseling but that's what I would in that situation.

-Spectre

A:

Dear you,

As I've mentioned before, my first boyfriend was not a member of the LDS church. On our first date, I made sure he understood my religious beliefs, telling him that I was a virgin and I intended to remain that way. He was my first kiss, so he knew just how cautious and inexperienced I was with physical affection.

As our relationship progressed past the first-date stage, I had no real concept of what my boundaries were, and I had to learn as time went on. Slowly I figured out what I was and wasn't comfortable with and began to set standards.

Unfortunately, this guy (let's call him Mark) did not always respect those boundaries. He would stop if I outright told him to stop, but that wouldn't stop him from trying the same things again later. I don't think he was acting maliciously, and in some ways he probably thought he was helping me overcome my prudishness. But he was sexually manipulative and it was a really unhealthy relationship for me. I didn't want to engage in sexual behavior, and I made that clear to him, but that didn't stop him from trying. I was not in the mentally healthiest place at the time, so I didn't feel as if I could always say no. It was an all-around terrible situation. In the end, our different standards of sexuality were a major factor in our breakup.

From that perspective, it's totally okay if the person you're dating has different standards of physical affection that you do. But if they EVER try to pressure you into doing things that you aren't comfortable with, it is a MAJOR red flag. Consent doesn't apply only to actual sex. It applies to all forms of sexual behavior, even something as seemingly innocuous as kissing. If you've established that something is not okay with you, and your partner does it anyway, against your wishes, THAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT.

I'm not necessarily advocating that you press charges against your boyfriend/girlfriend. But they need to understand that moving past established boundaries is 100% unacceptable. 

Have a frank talk with the person you're dating. Tell them your standards and make sure they understand your commitment to those standards. If they have different boundaries, that's okay. If they would be fine having sex but you aren't, that doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. But if he/she tries to undermine those standards, then you have a serious problem on your hands, because that is not behavior that anyone should have to put up with.

Love,

Luciana 


0 Corrections
Question #88066 posted on 09/27/2016 11:36 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are your favorite destinations?

My favorite destination is Munnar
Source [url="http://traveltriangle.com/packages/2nights-3days-kerala-munnar-tour"]

-Rohan

A:

Dear Rohan,

Mexico is pretty great.

-The Entomophagist

A:

Dear you,

I really enjoy Orlando (well, specifically, theme parks) and Southern Alberta.

~Anne, Certainly

A:

Dear Rider,

I love spending time on the California coast.

Love,

Luciana


0 Corrections
Question #88074 posted on 09/27/2016 11:18 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Re Board Question #88010:

Dr. Occam is Mr. Z??????

-Probably beaten to the punch by 24+ people

A:

Dear Actually Not,

Yes, I Dr. Occam am indeed the mysterious Mr. Z, and before we were wed I was the Board S.O. known betimes as M. I know I know, it's shocking! After all, when was the last time two active board writers were married to each other? Come to think of it, it might have been Owl-Ahrairah, I don't remember if they got married before Owlet retired... but regardless, it was before my time as a writer.

Now that we've let the proverbial cat out of the bag, I must say, I do hope, dear readers, that your newly gained knowledge of my status the husband of the great Zedability does not change your opinions of me or my answers for the worse. I'm still the same Dr. Occam you knew before. 

Finally, in case anyone was worried, I have been assured by the Editors that my admittance as a writer was not influenced by my relationship to Zed. The Board is above nepotism in any form.

Well, that's it, now you know. Do with this knowledge what you will.

Sincerely,

Dr. Occam (A.K.A. Mr. Z)


0 Corrections
Posted on 09/27/2016 10 a.m. New Correction on: #88051 I recently found a giveaway booth near the Tanner Building set up by the Ford Motor ...
Question #88072 posted on 09/27/2016 9:12 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

"Care and treatment for learning disabilities or physical or mental developmental delay, including pervasive developmental disorders or cognitive dysfunctions"

I read that ADHD is not classified as a learning disability, but would the rest of this paragraph include it? The "cognitive dysfunction" part makes me suspect that the answer is yes.

-Wondering

A:

Dear you,

It's really difficult to tell based on one sentence out of context. Your best bet would be to contact someone from whatever organization you're quoting from. If it's insurance, most insurance plans should have a customer service-type number you can call with these types of questions; if it's something related to BYU policy, the University Accessibility Center in the Wilk should be able to help you out.

-Zedability


0 Corrections
Question #88037 posted on 09/27/2016 8:24 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board Ladies,

I've heard something from a few different sources in the past few weeks that I had never heard before, and I'd like to know what your opinions and observations are on the subject.

Apparently girls don't like guys that play video games? I mean, I can understand associating obsession with video games with the kind of social awkwardness that isn't particularly attractive, but I was told that (all else being equal), just liking video games can be a deal breaker for many women. It seems to me that this would make it hard for them to find people to date, since so many people (guys and girls) play some sort of video game, but what do you think? Do you feel this way? Do you know other girls that refuse to date a guy who plays video games at all? Is the fact that I play video games (without being obsessed) a major contributing factor to the fact that I can't find any girls that want to go on more than one or two dates with me?

-Anonymous

A:

Dear Nonny,

Andy and I are both pretty avid gamers. We play different types of games (he likes shoot-em-up and racing games, I prefer strategy and storyline-based games), but gaming is an active part of our life together. However, we are not so enamored with games that we lack social skills, which is the case for many self-proclaimed gamers. There is definitely a difference between guys who play video games and guys who are wrapped up in their video games and lack any sort of sociability because their video games are such an integral part of their life. If you really do like video games, finding someone who also likes them can make all the difference. You might just be going after the wrong girls, because if you like video games and that's a dealbreaker for someone, they're probably not the girls you want to create a long-term relationship with.

You can always just tell them that it is Nintendo's fault, because as found in Adam Ruins Everything (seriously, this show is great), video games are only considered so male-centric because of the video game crash of 1983. In order to revive the market, Nintendo moved video games from the electronics section to the toys section of big box stores. The toys section was completely gender-segregated, and Nintendo randomly decided to market to boys, and all other video gaming companies followed suit. Imagine how much different our whole society would be if they had randomly decided to market to girls!  Maybe boys would refuse to date girls that played video games (disclaimer: while the attached video is highly entertaining and educational, there are some innuendos, strong language and potentially offensive images, so proceed at your own risk).

-April Ludgate

A:

Dear you,

When I was a freshman, I heard some girls state that they would never, ever date or marry a guy who played video games. At all.

I thought that was pretty crazy. As long as someone just plays recreationally and not at the expense of work, school, relationships, and personal hygiene, I don't see why playing video games is a bad thing. Games are fun, and can be super interesting.

There are guys who don't really play video games, so I assume those girls end up marrying those guys, but I've never understood the animosity towards video games. And I say that as someone who hasn't played anything other than Plants vs. Zombies, Tetris, and Mario Kart for her entire life.

-Zedability

A:

Dear Annon,

Tally M. just bought me Zelda: Skyward Sword for my birthday so it's obviously not a problem for us. I only play games occasionally now and Tally only plays DDR so it's not a problem for either of us.

-Spectre

A:

Dear you,

I'm totally okay with video games, provided they don't negatively affect my dating life. For instance, I once dated a guy who liked for me to sit behind him and scratch his back while he played video games and otherwise totally ignored me. Unless I stopped scratching his back, that is. Sometimes he could do this for hours, and then would get cranky when I complained. And sadly, those were probably the good times. That relationship was a mess.

Anyway, I don't mind a guy who plays recreationally. But I don't want to be in a serious relationship with a guy who prefers video games to spending time with me. Nor would I want to be with someone for whom video games are a primary form of entertainment, just because they aren't something I'm hugely interested in. I don't think there's anything wrong with such a hobby, but I'd rather date someone with whom I have more common interests.

Love,

Luciana


0 Corrections
Question #87991 posted on 09/27/2016 8:24 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Ecuador uses the U.S. dollar as its official currency. This makes sense in an abstract sense, but do the people use U.S. dollars in the stores and movie theaters? If not, what do they use? And if they use greenbacks, where do they come from? It's hard to imagine the Mint sending planeloads of currency to Ecuador for funsies.

-My Name Here

A:

Dear arha,

Yes, people use U.S. dollars there. You'll find greenbacks, as well as a ton of those Sacajawea and Presidential dollar coins you rarely see in the USA. When I was in Ecuador three years ago I actually had trouble getting them accepted as valid currency.

"Hey, could I please use the internet? I have three dollars."
"Yeah, right. Martin Van Buren? Whoever that is."
"Seriously, these are real money."
"I'll believe it when I see it."
"But it's right—oh, nevermind."

One guy did accept them, but basically as souvenirs. "Right," he explained, "You say they're official money, and they probably are, but the fact is none of us have seen them before, ever. But hey, they're in pretty good condition, and they're sort of cool in the way new-dead-people-on-coins is cool. I'll buy them off you for a dollar a piece," he said.

Worked for me. As far as your comment about the United States Mint sending planeloads of currency abroad, be aware the US dollar is a big deal in international commerce. That's an incredibly vague and unhelpful statement to make, so I'll leave the international trade aspect alone and supply you with a list of other countries (and territories) that also use the U.S. dollar as their official currency:

  • Puerto Rico
  • El Salvador
  • Republic of Zimbabwe
  • Guam
  • U.S. Virgin Islands
  • American Samoa
  • Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands
  • Democratic Republic of Timor-Leste
  • Federated States of Micronesia
  • Republic of Palau
  • Marshall Islands

The official currencies of Panama and Belize are the balboa and Belize dollar, respectively, but U.S. dollars are easily accepted. I don't know what other specific questions you may have about the international use of the dollar, and I don't think I'll try to guess at present. I hope this satisfies your curiosity for now. And may you and I as citizens of Freemurica never forget President Van Buren's illustrious 'do:

Martin_Van_Buren_edit.jpg
Dat haircut tho. Hipsters, take note. 

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz


0 Corrections
Question #88077 posted on 09/27/2016 2:12 a.m.
Q:

Greatings,
Hello planet earthlings.

I made it in a day.


-My Name tHere

A:

Dear you,

Welcome.

-Sunday Night Banter


0 Corrections
Monday, September 26, 2016
Question #87842 posted on 09/26/2016 11:45 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Guys, Guys, Guys!!! Have any of you read the Narrative of Zosimus? Based on your previous answers, I'm going to venture a "no." No worries, I haven't read it either. In fact, I was wondering if you could point me in the right direction?

I was reading in a LDS article pertaining to the Tree of Life that there is an ancient Hebrew text (wasn't translated into English until the 1870's so Joseph Smith would not have known about it) known as Narrative of Zosimus, (SYNOPSIS OF THE TEXT), which details how a righteous family was instructed by God to leave Jerusalem before the Babylonian destruction. They were led to a land reserved for them, and they recorded their history on metal plates. Their journey to the blessed land involved a dark mist, ocean, a great tree that bears sweet fruit, etc....

This ancient text was obviously mentioned in this article because of the several clear parallels to Lehi's Family and the Vision of the Tree of Life. It's quite thrilling! Is it not?!

First and foremost, can you tell me where I can actually read the actual English translation of this text for myself? I would love to read the exact wording! Second, we should bring this up more in Gospel Doctrine, right?

-Sage

A:

Dear Say it Right,

Alas, we've been unable to find the Narrative of Zosimus in our shoeboxes, our dress pockets (in the future these had better be standard and if they're not we obviously haven't reached the future yet), our salt cellars, in between our couch cushions (three M&Ms, though... PEANUT BUTTER M&Ms wuuuut), our textbooks or in our shrubberies. One writer gleefully exclaimed he'd found the Narrative dwelling in a pickle jar, but when we cracked it open and fetched it out of its Inferius Cucumber brine we discovered it to be in some dialect of Armenian. Therefore, we must recommend all conjecture regarding the Narrative should be kept to ones' person and in no way should be used as a substitute for actual, substantive gospel study; we also advise the study of the basic doctrines and principles of the Gospel.

Faithfully yours,

--Ardilla Feroz 


0 Corrections
Question #87959 posted on 09/26/2016 9:48 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you ever just feel like you need a break from yourself? Today I've just gotten so tired of my inner voice in my head, and in general I'm feeling tired of who I am. What do you do when you feel like this??

-Withywindle

A:

Dear Withywindle,

I deal with negative self-talk on a semi-regular basis. It varies in frequency and severity depending on how my life is going and how many social faux pas I've committed. For instance, last Sunday I went to church and no one was there when I sat down (15 minutes early), so I sat by myself. No one sat by me for the first 30 minutes of the meeting, even though I have quite a few friends in the ward. I knew that I could come up with a logical explanation for each of my friends not sitting with me, but that's not how it works. Instead, with no one to make conversation with before the meeting, I ended up overhearing the conversation between the two people behind me. It's a good thing I didn't turn around to see who they were, because I wouldn't have a very high opinion of them based on that conversation. That's where the second part of my negative self-talk came in: not only did my friends not like me enough to sit with me, but I was a terrible person for judging these two people that I didn't even know.

This particular episode got better by the end of the third hour of meetings, when I was finally able to be around people that distracted me from those thoughts. The other thing I like to do to get rid of those thoughts is to break them down piece by piece until I can convince myself that they aren't true or, if they are true, that at least there's something I can do about it. Writing in a journal usually helps me to systematically outline my thoughts so that I can refute them in the same way. If you have a close friend or family member with whom you feel comfortable doing this, it might also help you to talk to them about the things your inner voice is telling you, but be sure to be clear about what your expectations are of them when you do so.

-A Writer

A:

Dear druthers,

This question is rather overdue and it's entirely my fault. I thank you for your patience and ask your forgiveness. It's been an interesting week. Suffice it to say I sympathize with the desire to get out of yourself, to silence the inner voice, to get out, to get away. I have tried to write down some things that I find helpful. You'll notice these are a little disjointed, and it's possible none of them will be any good. Just take what helps you and toss the rest. With no further disclaimers:

  • Sometimes what helps me most when I'm in a rut is venting into an email draft or writing in a journal and just writing down my stream of consciousness until I feel a little better. This is a technique where I feel I am in a position to address my inner voice, tell what I think of it (sometimes going as far as to write back-and-forth dialogue) and strive to set it aside for a while. I often find this process to be emotionally cathartic.
  • Drawing or sketching out an idea as best I can is one way to avoid my "voice" and express better how I'm feeling. Alas, I am terrible at drawing. 
  • Reading a book. A good book, something I find fun, maybe something comforting and familiar. 
  • Sitting in a quiet place, preferably outdoors, away from people. Usually I'll just try to simply observe nature and seek to be mindful of my surroundings. I've compiled a list of places on campus to do this you may find useful in Board Question #87840.
  • Maybe going outside isn't an option, or it's freezing (a sad reality of most of Fall and Winter semesters). I have heard positive things about the relaxation recordings available for free on the Counseling and Psychological Services website ("recordings to relax your and body") you may find useful. While we're talking about it, have you ever been in to the Counseling center just to talk with someone? Services are free to BYU students and I've personally found a couple sessions remarkablyuseful in addressing amorphous life frustrations I didn't quite know how to identify or handle. 

Sometimes, though, when the burden of stillness sinks me deeper into my funk, I choose movement.

  • Swimming has long been a refuge for me. I was a swimmer growing up, I feel rather comfortable in water, so going to the RB and swimming around deep in the dive pool where at least I'm good at something is a big comfort to me. It's nice being a place where I can focus on the swish of water in my ears, feel the invisible currents moving across my skin. 
  • Due to schedules or lack of inclination I don't always find swimming practical. At times like these I've taken off running—into the streets, into the hills, perhaps up Rock Canyon—running and running and until I slow to a gasping stagger, my mind is too tired to remember what plagued it, worn down until the frustration bleeds away into silence.
  • Hiking, exploring and camping are favorites of mine. I have a chance to leave my life problems behind in favor of simpler decisions about how to best explore my environment.
  • Dancing by yourself, however you want—perhaps later at night/on a weekend in those RB dance rooms with the music cranked up—is something I'd strongly recommend. 
  • Speaking of dance-related things: occasionally when I feel dissatisfied with who I am I'll take some sort of small risk to shake things up, prove to myself I'm capable of succeeding at something new. One semester a while back I decided I needed to shake things up. I wasn't happy with how self-conscious I felt when I danced in public so I signed up for an early-morning Zumba class. Since the class was mostly girls, I wasn't sure if my presence as a guy would be welcomed. While there was some initial puzzlement (one girl asked me on the first day if I was there on a dare), my fears of being shunned were largely unfounded and everyone was pretty chill. I met some really nice people, and enjoyed the class enough that I took it again in subsequent semesters. This was a validating enough experience that I have since tried beginning ballet (fun, but ballet is tricksy), landed a small guest role in a BYU Theatre Ballet production and—most recently—taken a hip-hop dance class where we learned the basics of breakdancing, locking, popping, New Jack Swing and house dance. 

I don't know if any of that will be useful, so I'll leave you with one final thought: seek to develop self-compassion. It's okay to feel frustrated, feel insecure, have life plans that haven't worked out how you'd expected, it's okay to not know what the 'next step' is. You're you, and you're trying. From an excellent article on self-compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff:

Self-compassion involves being kind to ourselves when life goes awry or we notice something about ourselves we don’t like, rather than being cold or harshly self-critical. It recognizes that the human condition is imperfect, so that we feel connected to others when we fail or suffer rather than feeling separate or isolated. It also involves mindfulness — the recognition and non-judgmental acceptance of painful emotions as they arise in the present moment. Rather than suppressing our pain or else making it into an exaggerated personal soap opera, we see ourselves and our situation clearly. 

Remember: you're a worthwhile, lovely human being, even if you don't always feel that way.
Con cariño,

--Ardilla Feroz 

P.S. Should you ever want to talk, or just vent: ardilla.feroz(at)theboard.byu.edu

P.P.S. In case it piqued your interest, here's another plug for the hip-hop dance class, Dance 245—Urban and Street Dance Forms. Each dance segment is taught by dancers from the community who are experts in their style, some of whom operate their own studios. They're talented, kind, and very encouraging. The class is a block class offered in the second half of the semester beginning October 19, it's still open for enrollment.

It appears the class is being headed by Marc Alexanda/Big Chocolate, this cool British dancer who has competed (and won) a number of European competitions prior to moving to Utah. You can see him in action in this 1:45 clip here. Incidentally, Big Chocolate faces off with another Dance 245 teacher named E-Boogie Scruggs in this longer video clip. E-Boogie is the first person to dance. 


0 Corrections
Question #88071 posted on 09/26/2016 5 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why are the rocks happy? Why is one of them angry? Why is there such a taboo in the rock culture for eating leaves?

-Dallin

A:

Dear Dallin,

I think it's more about the other rocks being jealous that it got the first one.

And that one that looks angry? It just resents being judged on the other side of the world.

-The Entomophagist


0 Corrections
Posted on 09/26/2016 3:29 p.m. New Correction on: #88050 Why doesn't BYU have birthday cake or cake batter flavored ice cream??? Can someone please convince ...
Question #88050 posted on 09/26/2016 1:06 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Why doesn't BYU have birthday cake or cake batter flavored ice cream??? Can someone please convince them to make it??

Also, have you ever had the turkey cranberry sandwich? I think it's really gross, and there are always a ton of them left over at the end of the day in the twilight zone. Why do they still make them?

-Foodie

A:

Dear Foodie,

I've got contacts in the dairy at the CSC. From what I've seen and heard, they don't often develop new flavors, besides the "freshman" flavor that they come up with each year. I could probably bat my eyes and ask them to make cake batter, but I don't like the flavor so I won't.

I imagine they still make the turkey sandwich because other people like it and buy it, even if you don't.

Love,

Luciana


1 Correction
Question #88055 posted on 09/26/2016 1:06 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Will you share any Halloween costume ideas for a dad with a beard, a mom with a (at the time of Halloween) fairly pronounced baby bump, and a walking/running/jumping/speaking toddler girl who doesn't care what she wears even if it is "boy" stuff? I would love to have a theme for all of us!

--Inga

A:

Dear Inga,

Your husband can be a basketball player (there's many with beards), you could paint your belly as a basketball, and then dress your daughter up as another player/coach/water girl/etc.

-April Ludgate

A:

Dear you,

Your daughter could be Little Red Riding Hood, your wife could be the Granny, and you could be either the wolf or the lumberjack. 

-Zedability


0 Corrections
Question #88051 posted on 09/26/2016 1:05 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I recently found a giveaway booth near the Tanner Building set up by the Ford Motor Company. I answered a survey and they gave me a bag of swag. I need help identifying what one of these prizes is for. It is a cylindrical tube of thin stretchy fabric. It has a radius of about three inches and is roughly 18 inches tall. It is open on both ends and covered in BYU and Ford logos. What should I do with this object?

-Bag of Swag

A:

Dear Swag Bag,

You came to the right place. I, too, have one of these strange tubes of thin fabric. I was also very confused as to its uses or benefits until someone enlightened me. They told me it was supposed to be a scarf. Yeah, a scarf. I have a picture here of it just so other readers can have some idea of why this confused us.

 Here's what it looks like:

 IMG_0544.JPG

 IMG_0545.JPG

If you want to wear it like a scarf then you can, just be warned, it you might be the most stylish person within a 30 block radius.

IMG_0546.JPG

I only pulled my paper bag down to just below my nose so you could see the scarf and I did what anyone would do when they have something over their face and an open chin, I drew Batman on the paper bag. But it looks kind of like a cat. Oh well. Catman works too.

One extra benefit of this marvelous scarf is that you can pull it over your mouth/nose area, like so:

 IMG_0547.JPG

If Tunnel Worms are your heroes you can pull it all the way over your head in adoration of those majestic beasts.

 IMG_0548.JPG

Other uses include: Artificial hugger (you'll never be lonely again, your scarf will always be there for you...),

IMG_0550.JPG

and stylish toilet cover (to show your pride in the local University, just in case anyone who walks into your BYU Housing approved apartment had doubts as to where your loyalty lies). 

IMG_0554.JPG

I hope you got some ideas for how you can use your very special BYU-Ford-tube-scarf. I wanted to take more pictures with my fun scarf, but alas, I didn't have time to take more. Really, the possibilities are endless. 

Enjoy your marvelous piece of fabric!

-Spectre

PS I would suggest that if you use it on your toilet, you do not later try to use it as a scarf.

PPS I promptly threw this thing away after I took it off my toilet.


1 Correction
Question #87992 posted on 09/26/2016 1:04 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm happy that California passed a law about orcas in captivity. My question, though, has to do with dolphins. Why have dolphins not been given the same coverage or law? What, are dolphins not captured from the wild in the same way as orcas? Are they not as dangerous so who cares if they continue doing tricks? Or, since dolphins are smart and sociable, they actually seem to enjoy the attention of putting on shows? Thoughts?

Merry-go-Lamb

A:

Dear Pippin,

It looks like none of us are experts in the laws regulating dolphin capture and captivity. Perhaps one of the groups advocating for orcas has more funding, or more powerful connections than the dolphin advocacy groups.

Also, did you know that dolphins kill and abuse other animals for fun? There are also rumors flying around of dolphins raping humans, and while some of them get a little out of hand, it can't be denied that some dolphins do try to force themselves sexually on humans (source). So it could be that dolphins, in addition to being intelligent and playful and fun, also have a bad reputation that makes it harder for dolphin rights groups to gain traction.

-Alta


0 Corrections
Question #87896 posted on 09/26/2016 1:04 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Recently I decided I needed to eat healthier, or rather my body decided and I agreed. But convenience is a huge factor in my meal preparation. #collegelife. So my question is do you know of any recipes that freeze well or that are super easy to prepare on the fly? Any ideas would be great!

-Over fed and under nourished

A:

Dear Wasting Away,

Get vacuum packed salmon and chicken and a tiny George Foreman grill. It's so fast and easy. Then make rice or pasta to go along with it, cook some frozen vegetables or something, and you've got such an easy meal prepared.

I found some websites with what look like good freezer meal recipes, and I'm sure you can find even more if you just google something like, "Easy freezer meals." I wasn't able to try any of these recipes out, though, because one thing I absolutely don't have is freezer space. One of my roommates has a mom who came down and bought enough food for her daughter to last till the Second Coming and stuffed it all in our freezer, so to even get our freezer to close we need to tape it.

-Alta

A:

Dear Malnourished,

I don't know how much this will or won't improve the quality of your meals, because it depends on your current situation and the people with whom you do it, but I've really enjoyed participating in a dinner group with 7 other friends. We each make one dinner every two weeks (we only do it Monday to Thursday), so the other seven days we get a good, well-rounded meal without having to put in any effort. It's really great. In addition to the convenience of only making dinner once every two weeks (plus whatever you do for weekends), it adds a social aspect to meals that is often lacking in college life and is really beneficial.

-The Entomophagist


0 Corrections
Question #88048 posted on 09/26/2016 10:06 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My first exposure to a "gandola" was in Venice, Italy. Very romantic! However, I did not have enough euros in my pocket to pay for a ride on these gondolas so I admired them from a afar. But, there, on the enchanting Venetian bridges while savouring gelato, the word "gondola" entered my vocabulary forever. "Gondola" was and will forever be interpreted ass expensive, but mesmerizing narrow boats guided by a man with a man decked in a black and white striped shirt singing sweetly into the evening as the gondola floats pass old doorways and under brightly colored bridges. This definition of gondola was firmly stamped in my memory.

But in the steep Mountain slopes in Austria a few years later, someone says, "you wanna take the gondola"? And thoughts of Venice, Italy come to the forefront of my mind. I'm so confused, and assumed these gondola boats are going to be at a lake near the majestic mountain peaks or something. I say, "sure!" But the gandola is not a boat... it's not in the water... it's a box in the sky that transports people to the top of mountain peaks! How could my definition of what a "gondola" be so different?

Why does the word, "gondola" refer to both a narrow boat and a box in the sky?? I get that they are both modes of transportation, but... they are so completely different! Why do they share the same word? How did it come to mean both things? Am I the only one that gets confused? Probably...

-Mumbo Jumbo & Carmen San Diego

A:

Dear you,

I did some research, and discovered that no one has really reached a consensus about where the word "gondola" comes from. For instance, Merriam-Webster suggests it comes from a Middle Greek word kontoura, meaning small vessel.

This website suggests it could come from the Latin cymbula (small boat), or the Greek word kundy (shuttle).

A basic Google search brought up Google's suggestion that it comes from the Rhaeto-Romanic gondola, meaning ‘to rock, roll.’

You'll notice that in three out of the four suggestions, the origins could apply to either a Venetian boat or a "box in the sky." I can't find any specific etymology as to when the word came to mean two different modes of transportation, but it appears the word's origins are not limited to Italian boating.

Love,

Luciana


0 Corrections
Question #88025 posted on 09/26/2016 10:06 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Along the same lines as Board Question #87973, what's the nicest thing you've noticed someone doing for someone else recently?

-Pallas

A:

Dear Pallas,

I haven't noticed any incredible instances of love and generosity, but at church yesterday a girl was sitting alone until a group of people asked her to join them.

Love,

Luciana


0 Corrections
Question #88063 posted on 09/26/2016 8:49 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Who is the Quaker Oats guy? Was he a real man? What's his name/story? Why is he the "poster old-man" for this product?

Do you think he would approve of the "Instant Oatmeal" that we have today? What do you think his favorite flavor would be?

-Ironic Chef

A:

Dear Ironic Chef,

The most recent statement from Quaker Oats is that "The 'Quaker man' does not represent an actual person. His image is that of a man dressed in Quaker garb, chosen because the Quaker faith projected the values of honesty, integrity, purity and strength." However, past advertising identified him as William Penn (you know, the guy Pennsylvania is named after).

-The Entomophagist politely reminds you that submitting multiple questions at a time is discouraged


0 Corrections
Question #88040 posted on 09/26/2016 8:48 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Can I get in trouble if I know that my roommate is consistently breaking the housing rules and I don't report it?

-Queen of Hearts

A:

Dear Queen of Hearts,

If by housing rules you mean the honor code, I'm pretty sure the answer is yes. If you are aware of someone breaking the honor code and you don't do anything about it, you can get in trouble too.

If that's not what you mean, I'm not really sure what you do mean. Sorry.

-The Entomophagist


0 Corrections
Question #88002 posted on 09/26/2016 8:47 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I loved Great Harvest Bread Company cinnamon rolls. I don't live near a Great Harvest Bread Company anymore. Can you help me find a knockoff recipe? All I can find is their cinnamon burst bread, which is good, but not what I want.

-Mr. Spice

A:

Dear Mr. Spice,

I tried. I promise I did. Like you, I only found clone recipes for cinnamon burst bread or other brands of cinnamon rolls. If I had the time, I would have loved to try to come up with a recipe myself, but that's one thing I don't have.

Sorry.

-The Entomophagist


0 Corrections
Posted on 09/26/2016 8:45 a.m. New Correction on: #88034 Why is the International Chess Olympiad separated into the open event and the women's event? Is ...
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How can you cope while waiting for your boyfriend on a mission? Assuming that, for the time being, you are planning to wait the two years.

-twenty one months

A:

Dear 21,

I have no personal experience from which to answer your question (other than having to "cope" with not having a girlfriend for 23 years, I guess), but no one else has tackled this question yet, so I'll try.

The best advice I can offer is to get yourself a good group of friends and spend a bunch of time with them. These friends can be male or female, and a mixed group is usually a lot of fun, but just make sure it's all platonic. If you're busy with a bunch of group activities on top of homework and whatever, you won't have time to think about missing him.

Additionally, it's important to decide how you want to handle date invitations ahead of time. One of the best ways I've ever been turned down was a girl that told me that, while the activity sounded fun, she was waiting for a missionary and didn't feel comfortable doing anything one-on-one. I appreciated her directness, and I think most guys would feel the same way.

-The Entomophagist


0 Corrections