Silence is the virtue of fools. -Sir Francis Bacon
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Question #80073 posted on 11/27/2014 12:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear Inverse,

Are you a pops yet?

~ Synneva

A:

Dear Syncopy,

Nope. As of now, Madam Insomniac is 9 months and 5 days pregnant and that child is apparently very comfortable staying where he is.

-Impatient Insomniac


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Question #80059 posted on 11/27/2014 12:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

While reading the Quran, I was struck by the cosmological accounts. It appears that there was a meeting of sorts, prior to earth life, and a discussion was held whether or not to remove all wrongs done by people. There is a deliberation about judgement will be held. People other than Allah are involved with this scene........ So does this indicate that Muslims, or a portion of them believe in the prexistence? Have lds scholars correlated this to the lds belief in prexistence and the grand councils of heaven and the war in heaven?

-Inquisitive Imam (who only comes in salaam)

A:

Dear Inquisitive Imam,

I taught several Muslims on my mission, and all of them accepted the general idea of a pre-existence pretty easily compared to many of the Christians I taught. I won't pretend to be an expert on Islam and this is just how a few members of the religion explained things to me. However, from what I remember, there are some fundamental differences between our conceptions of the pre-earth life.

  • In our Church, we believe that we all existed as spiritual sons and daughters of Heavenly Father. Muslims believe that Allah neither begets nor is begotten, and that we are only his "children" in the metaphorical sense of him being our creator.
  • We believe that Lucifer rebelled against God in the pre-existence, was cast out of heaven, and became Satan. Muslims believe that Iblis, a jinn, refused to prostrate himself before Adam when God commanded him to, and was subsequently expelled from his presence and became Satan.
  • We believe that all intelligent beings are spiritual children of God. Angels are either pre- or post-mortal individuals, and devils are the followers of Satan who will never get a body. Muslims believe that there are three fundamentally different classes of beings: angels, which are created from light, have no free will, and exist only to worship and serve Allah; humans, who are created from dust, have free will, and are here to be tested and prepare to enter heaven (where they can receive a higher reward than the angels, because they had to choose to do the right thing); and jinn, who are created from fire and also have free will. Unlike devils, not all jinn are inherently bad. Iblis was originally a very powerful and good jinn (just like Lucifer was originally one of the foremost spirit children of God), before being cast out for rebellion. Some jinn chose to follow him and became evil, but some did not.
  • We believe in the pre-existence and war in heaven, then the Creation, then the Fall. Muslims believe that Allah created angels, who helped him create the Earth. From the earth, he created man from dust and placed Adam and Eve in Paradise. It was in Paradise that Iblis refused to bow down to Adam and was cast out.
  • I couldn't remember or find any definitive information on the Internet as to whether Muslims specifically believe that we existed as spirits before birth, so I asked a Muslim co-worker of mine and she said that they have the same belief that we all existed as spirits in "another world" before this one. And then we had a great gospel conversation, which made me really glad I decided to answer this question.

Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to find any really good studies on LDS vs. Muslim beliefs; most of the studies I turned up had notable errors in explaining our beliefs (like saying that we "don't think gaining salvation is important" or that we only needed Jesus for physical resurrection and our redemption comes solely through ordinances) so I didn't feel like linking to them here, since they presumably contain equally inaccurate statements about Muslim beliefs.

-Zedability


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Question #80049 posted on 11/27/2014 12:14 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I've been hearing a lot of emergency sirens the last few minutes ( just after nine pm on November 20th. What happened? If it makes a difference, i live by golds gym and track bell south east of campus.

-My Zwerg Zwei

A:

Dear Cloister Bells,

I'm not really sure either, but if it's any comfort, I heard them the next night, and they sounded more like a dance party than an emergency.

-Tally M.


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Question #80029 posted on 11/27/2014 12:14 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What if your spouse struggles with mild depression? (as in, it doesn't need medication) They can hardly get out of bed some days. It's hard to clean, cook, work, and basically do everything yourself :( We don't have family nearby and I already enlist ward members for babysitting. We are already on all forms of welfare.

-absolutely love my spouse :)

A:

Dear you,

I would challenge the idea that depression that results in hardly being able to get out of bed is mild; it might be a good idea to re-evaluate the seriousness of your wife's depression and whether or not medication or other therapeutic intervention could be helpful to you. These things might be helpful to your spouse, and a doctor can help determine this.

In the meantime, I have 3 Ps I'd suggest for dealing with life when you have more to do than you feel you can do.

  • Prioritize: Figure out which things really need to happen now, which can happen later, and which don't really need to happen at all. Occasionally my schedule will contain time allocated to what I refer to as "Alif" (Also, if I have time...) that can give me an idea of what things I should tackle next if I finish everything that needs to be done immediately with extra time.
  • Preserve: Preserve your own mental and physical health. You are not helping yourself or your family if you burn yourself out and get yourself sick or depressed by failing to take time to watch a movie once in a while or hit the gym.
  • Pray: God loves you and your spouse, and sometimes He does not take away our burdens, but when that's the case, He will help us find the strength to bear them. Remember that He loves you and that this too shall pass. 

Feel free to email me if you'd like to have a longer discussion about this. (anne (dot) certainly (at) theboard.byu.edu).

Love,

~Anne, Certainly

A:

Dear Doctor,

Like Anne, I would disagree that your spouse's depression is mild. I consider myself to have mild depression, which I personally define as being able to function somewhat normally, albeit at a lower level than usual without medication. Granted, this is my own definition, but I would think about reconsidering what you think of as mild. 

If your spouse isn't capable on a regular basis of even getting out of bed, that's something that may require medication and/or counseling. Talk to your bishop, since he may be able to help you guys get the treatment you need, especially if you're not at BYU. If you are at BYU, then I would definitely recommend talking to them.

-Tally M.


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Posted on 11/27/2014 1:37 a.m. New Comment on: #80020 How important are a PhD student's grades in terms of landing a job? And playing a ...
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Question #80075 posted on 11/26/2014 7:02 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My e-mail is being spoofed or something. Every week I feel like someone gets spam e-mail from me and I get notifications in my spam box saying that some of the mail was returned because it was undeliverable, which is how I'm alerted to the fact that things are being "sent" from my account. I don't actually have any e-mails in my sent box though, so I think it's being spoofed. I change my password every single day now and clear my cookies and run virus-protection software. I never open up mail from people I don't know...

I am SO frustrated. DO I just give up and make a new e-mail? I really like my e-mail (It's my first and last name). Why is this happening and how does it keep happening? How would I make it stop?

-Urgent

A:

Dear Urgent,

I found a couple more suggestions to try:

  • Always access your email from a browser and not from an application like Microsoft Outlook or Mail. Remove these applications' access to your mail.
  • Make sure the url says https and not http when you access your email.
  • Delete ALL saved passwords from your computer, and change your passwords on other applications you use. People could be accessing your email through those applications.
  • Most email providers have a way for you to contact them and forward them the spam. They can try to track it down for you.
  • When you change your password, make sure it's a very strong password.
  • Check your activity history to see if there are any unrecognized devices or IP addresses in the list of devices that have recently accessed your account.
  • Use the returned mail to look up the IP addresses of who actually sent it and block them.
  • Enable two-factor authentication.

-Zedability


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Question #80071 posted on 11/26/2014 3:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How do you "train" a person to not interrupt you when talking?

Being patient and just letting my one friend say her piece fully before I say anything is backfiring and making her interrupt MORE, because it gives her the illusion everyone is rapturously hanging on her every word. When I've tried to speak to her about it directly, I have to go about it in such a roundabout way to be tactful that she interrupts me before I get to my point!

I find I'm subconsciously becoming very passive aggressive towards this friend because it annoys me so much that she disrespects my opinions constantly, and expects me to defer to her opinions so completely. I've started saying a lot of subtle things that I know she knows aren't nice, but I get so frustrated with her not respecting me, I'm having a hard time caring that I'm not playing well with others either. How can I fix this in myself?

-My Name--oh no, you're name isn't there it's over here...oh, and that reminds me of that one time...

Ugh.

A:

Dear Ugh,

Honestly, at this point she's being inconsiderate and I think you're justified in being a little more direct. When she interrupts you, just interrupt her right back by (pleasantly) saying, "Excuse me, but I'd like to finish what I was saying, and then I'd love to hear your take on it." This requires some assertiveness, but it's possible to say while being polite.

There are three ways to say "excuse me":

(1) When you're letting someone know they've offended you: "Uh, ex-CUSE me? What did you say to me???" Don't say it like that.

(2) In the context of politely letting someone know they're in the way, like when you're trying to walk through a crowded area, or saying "Excuse me, I'm just trying to get into my locker here" when there's a group of people standing in front chatting.

(3) To get someone's attention, like "Excuse me, could you tell me where the SWKT is? I'm new here."

When you say "excuse me" to interrupt her, it's a combination of those last two situations. As long as you say it with a smile and without letting the first example leak into your voice, it shouldn't go over too badly.

The other alternative is to just interrupt her back by continuing what you were going to say in the first place. The Maritimes is full of interrupters, and a lot of missionaries had trouble keeping control of their lessons because of it. I quickly realized that if someone consistently interrupts you, odds are they don't see interruptions as particularly rude, and they don't mind when you do it back to them. It can take a bit of getting used to, but you can try just interrupting her and see how it goes over.

-Zedability


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Question #80058 posted on 11/26/2014 11:08 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Can the 7 earths mentioned in the Quran be equivalent to the lds conception of 7 dispensations?? Shed light on that matter?

-Inquisitive Imam (who has only come in salaam)

A:

Dear Rel'ar,

From what I have researched about the seven earths, they aren't. In fact, it seems that there is quite a good deal of controversy about the "seven earths," because no one ever asked Muhammed to clarify this concept. From what I can tell, it sounds more like it literally means that Allah created seven earths, meaning that there is earth and six other planets inhabited by humans. Some also interpret it as referring to the seven layers of this earth. Whichever way you look at it though, I am pretty sure it doesn't correspond to the seven dispensations. 

Unfortunately, I couldn't find any scholarly articles about it, but here are some sources you may want to look at. 

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger  


0 Comments
Question #80039 posted on 11/26/2014 9:50 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How do you deal with hypocrites?

I'm living with one, and I feel like all she ever talks about is her judgements of other people and it's gossipy and unflattering...but I've noticed recently I'm getting sucked into the same sort of mentality. How do I resist it?

When I try to call her out on it "well, hey, you're not perfect either, everyone struggles with different things," or "well, there's two sides to every story" or I try to steer the conversation in a different direction, she always comes back with some sort of rationalization or retaliation (i.e. "Oh, I know, but still, I'm not THAT bad" or "true, but this is MY side of the story" or "yeah...but getting back to what I was saying about [so-and-so]")

My favorite thing is how much she simultaneously judges everyone for being "soooo Utah Mormon, isn't that terrible, they're so stupid and ignorant" when she's from Utah and does everything ideologically, culturally and socially the same as your typical, orthodox "Utah Mormon." And how she does this to everyone, but her #1 requirement for a potential spouse is that they be charitable and kind, and she'll rant for HOURS how it's so hard to find a guy that measures up.

How do I develop charity for someone who's sapping away all my desire to be charitable toward others, and is so un-giving of it herself?

-I know, I know...the beam is in my eye.......Uggggggh

A:

Dear you,

I think you identified the key to dealing with hypocrisy in your sign-off. The key to living with hypocrites is probably remembering that every person who is alive lives with at least one hypocrite (including the people who live alone). A few thoughts on developing charity when dealing with particularly difficult people:

  • Pray. Charity is a spiritual gift. Don't just pray for charity in general, pray specifically for charity for this girl in the situations where she frustrates you.
  • Search. Look for things about this girl that you can appreciate. Yes, you'll still know she's imperfect, but it sounds like that's the overriding thing about her in your mind. See if you can change that by learning to recognize things about her that are good.
  • Serve. One way missionaries learn about developing charity is by serving the people they need to love. This holds for all of us. When we serve people we learn to love them more.
  • Acknowledge. Acknowledgment means that we have to accept that other people are not perfect, but also recognize their good qualities and ultimately accept that we are not their judges. Expressing these things to her may help you as well.
  • Limit. Limit the number of people to whom you express your frustration; try to bring your focus elsewhere. Obviously we need to know what's going on to help you, but in general, try not to spend time expressing your frustration about this girl to people. This can feel "cathartic" but really involves you expending more energy focusing on things you don't appreciate.
  • Remember. Remember that we don't get to decide who deserves charity. Of us it is required to forgive (and love) all men, which is good because we certainly hope God will forgive and love us (even though we cannot by our own actions earn forgiveness or love).

You can do it. We're all imperfect, but it's good that you're trying to make a change, and God wants to help you do it.

Good luck,

~Anne, Certainly


0 Comments
Question #80020 posted on 11/26/2014 9:44 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How important are a PhD student's grades in terms of landing a job? And playing a part in their future? Do potential jobs look at your GPA?

-Liquid Paper

A:

Dear LP,

At this point in my life, I only have experience in one PhD program (hey, you never know what will happen in the future!), but I can tell you that in my field at least, grades only really matter in a pass-fail sense. In my program, you need a B+ to pass the class, but beyond that, as long as you are doing well holistically, no one looks at your grades really. This has been a really difficult thing for some of the more perfectionistic of us to fully believe because it is so wildly different from undergraduate life (and high school before that), but it has proven to be true so far. 

Not even scholarships really take GPA into account when you get to the PhD level. I have been told by numerous reputable sources (people who have graduated from my program and gone on to pretty prestigious work/internship placements) that potential internship sites, jobs, and even post-docs won't care about your grades. What they do care about is your research experience, your applied or clinical experience, and whether or not you know what the heck you're talking about. 

-Divya


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