Dear GRB,

I will never forget the first time I witnessed this sort of thing - it was on a Texas highway not far from where you were! It was a little different though, because I witnessed a cop car up ahead swerving through all the lanes, making sure everyone slowed down. I always wondered what they were doing, and the internet seems to know. People in the City-data forums say that it is common for highway patrol to slow down traffic at one spot to help keep the traffic under control. A little more information is in this article from the LA Times, 1996: 

According to longtime CHP dispatcher Claude Ball, who works at the Ventura office of the highway patrol, officers conduct a "traffic break" to give them room to safeguard freeways and highways from unsafe situations.

"We do it for Caltrans so they can fix a quick pothole," he said. "Or sometimes we do it to pick up a dead animal."

More often than not, it is nothing close to a car crash that calls for a traffic break, he said.

"Ninety-five percent of the time, it's not a traffic accident," Ball said. "It's because there's a traffic hazard in the road."

Your situation is a little different than what I witnessed, but it still sounds like a "traffic break." If this doesn't sound quite right then maybe next time you should get yourself pulled over and get the inside scoop.

-Mico

Dear Dillafer,

It's quite simple, really. MSJ is not an individual; she is a team of about 44 people who all write under one pseudonym.

It's all much less impressive when you realize that "her" network is divided among almost four-dozen separate people.

--Gimgimno

Dear Oregano,

Gimgimno pretty much answered it!

All the mystery and magic is gone.

I was recently out to dinner with a large group of friends and I asked them all if they thought I had a variety of contacts. They all affirmed I "collect friends." I guess if you're going to collect something, it might as well be people (but not in the creepy, murder-them-and-keep-them-in-a-freezer-in-the-basement way. The Board does not promote that).

-Marguerite St. Just

Dear Obvs,

The brown one is the best. Cinnamon? Yeah. I dislike the green and blue ones.

–Concealocanth

Dear I concur,

My memory is telling me that the orange one was the best. But back then I was going through a phase where I loved all things orange flavored (I think it might have been some subconscious personality mirroring with Kel). For example, my fifth grade teacher did this sneaky thing where for every piece of garbage we picked up at the end of the day we were rewarded with a Skittle (though there was a statute of limitations limiting the maximum Skittle intake to five) and every day I would pick up five pieces of garbage and pick out five orange Skittles.

-Art Vandelay

Dear probably-less-random-than-you-think,

The "I'm Board" button attempts to randomly select a question in a computationally efficient manner.  Question IDs range from 1 to 67590+, but not every ID will have a valid question.  So we can't simply randomly select a number between 1 and 67590-whatever.  If we did you would occasionally get a error because a question ID isn't valid.  However, it would computationally inefficient to look up all the question IDs that are valid and then select from those.  So instead we randomly select a number within the correct range (uniformly distributed) and test if it's a valid question.  If it is, that's the question you get.  If it's not then it tries again.  After 10 tries it gives up and sends you off to Board Question #12345 (but that should be a rather unusual occurrence).

So, yes, it is essentially random.  And that's the thing about random data, sometimes the same number comes up.  So it is entirely possible that you've seen a few questions more than once and it's still randomly selected.

-Curious Physics Minor

Dear not a racist,

I served in Eastern Europe, so it was a kind of a big change to go from being constantly surrounded by beautiful Caucasian women over there and coming back to BYU to be constantly surrounded by beautiful Caucasian women. No, but really Russian women are exceptionally beautiful and I was a bit distracted at times. I would even say I am still attracted to Russian women today (maybe that's because the only real difference between them and American girls is the whole speaking Russian thing, their clothing choices, and American women won't turn into a baboushka when they grow old).

However, I've had friends and roommates who have served in other places where at first they swore off American girls when they returned. I saw that resolve weaken after a few months (a few weeks in most cases actually). And I don't think it is really they stop finding whatever other ethnicity it was attractive, they just remember again why they think American girls are attractive. Additionally, it is just another mental step in coming all the way home from a mission. It must be done in gradual steps: first you feel ok setting your alarm for a time after 6:30 a.m., second you don't panic whenever you are alone, third you stop referring to everyone as elder and sister, and so it progresses until you find yourself watching SNL: The Best of Will Ferrell DVDs snuggled up with an American girl.

I'd guess your brother will regain his attraction to American girls in 6 weeks at the most.

-Art Vandelay

Dear Curious,

I went to Brazil. I was much less romantically attracted to Brazilian women than to Americans, and I still am. 

~Professor Kirke

Dear Watts,

Sure, grab a Kill A Watt meter and you're good to go.

-Curious Physics Minor

Dear Watts Up,

Eugene's Water & Electric Board has a nifty list (as well as a few free tips) that will tell you the approximate cost of running everything from a chandelier to an aquarium. Their rates may differ from your electricity provider, but it should give you a sense of which appliances use more juice than others.

-Genuine Article

Dear Movie Theater Butter,*

Using the power of guesstimation combined with actual US popcorn consumption statistics (thank you "Encyclopedia Popcornica"), we can figure this out.

16 billion quarts of popcorn are consumed annually in the United States. 70% of that is in the home, and 30% is bought commercially (think baseball stadiums, movie theaters, and those couple lucky vending machines on campus). 90% of home-bought popcorn is sold unpopped. I'm going to guess that 80% of that sold-unpopped home-eaten popcorn is from microwave popcorn bags. Based on experience with microwave bags and Popcornica's statement that "Good popcorn should provide at least 98 percent popped kernels with well under two percent 'spinsters' or unpopped kernels," I'm going to guess that 5% of kernels in microwave popcorn bags remain unpopped.

All that leaves us with 403,200,000 quarts of old maids from microwave popcorn each year. When piled to a depth of 1 foot, those old maids cover an area of 0.4833 mi² or 1.252 km² or, simply, 125.2 hectares. For comparison, 125 hectares is the size of the National Mall in Washington, D.C.. That's a LOT of unpopped popcorn, just from microwave bags.

–Concealocanth

*Yeah... from further popcorn experience, I know it's not actually butter; it's a weird, greasy orange paste that comes from these little plastic packages.

Dear Confused,

It sounds like you've basically exchanged a given weight of fat for the exact same weight of muscle. Because muscle is more dense than fat, a given weight of muscle will actually be smaller than the same weight of fat (think about a small one-pound hand weight compared to a fluffy one-pound feather pillow—the weights are the same but the sizes are not). This site has a good visual of what five pounds of fat looks like next to five pounds of muscle. Hopefully that helps explain why your body size may be changing even though your weight hasn't changed.

So right now, the weight of fat you've lost is pretty much equal to the muscle you've gained. As you continue to work out and exercise, that may change. If you continue to lose fat but your muscle gain plateaus, then your weight will decrease even as your strength remains the same. Or, if your fat loss plateaus but you continue gaining muscle, you will gain weight as you gain strength. Or, if you keep losing fat and gaining muscle at the same time, your weight may stay pretty constant even as you look leaner and get stronger. Hopefully you'll find a balance that works for you; it sounds like you're doing a great job of getting fit so far!

- Eirene

Dear disconsolate,

I felt very similar to how you feel for the first half of my undergraduate career - like I was just floating by, not really sure what I was doing but somehow doing alright. I was a good student, but I wasn't a great student. When I finally decided on my major I realized that I wanted to be a better student, and my habits began to change. You have put forth some great questions here (specific and to the point, which is always good), so I'll just go through and answer them one-by-one.

A: Specific Things I've Never Known

• What is the point of office hours? Office hours are a time for you to get advice or help from your teacher (or TA). This can be anything from weekly assignments, to a big project, to general advice about careers in your field, to asking for recommendations, and so on. This definition may sound too elementary, but that is seriously what office hours are for. If you have any problem in your class, you should go to the office hours; if you have any question for your professor that is more complicated than what you could ask directly before/after class, you should go to the office hours. Office hours exist so that students can clear up questions about the class, the learning material, and other academic-related issues. 
• What do you do in them? You discuss something. One thing I realized after a few mishaps is that you should never go to office hours without a pretense. Even if in your heart of hearts you just want to say hello to the professor, at least have some news ("I applied something from your class the other day!" or something). The best thing to do is to prepare a specific question you have and be able to show that you have thought about it on your own. For example, I often went to my professors' office hours when I wasn't sure what the topic for my paper should be. So, before I went in to the office hours, I would write a short list of topics I had thought about, the different subjects' merits, etc., and then go in to discuss. That is one way you can utilize office hours; similarly, if you are going in to ask for a favor, be ready to explain why you want this. For example, if you want your professor to write you a letter of recommendation, be ready to tell them about your accomplishments and what you hope to do in the future (yes, like a casual interview). 
• Is it different for TAs than professors? Sometimes; this depends on the professor and style of the class. Some professors prefer that you direct almost all questions to the TA first, while others like to be directly involved (or don't even have a TA). I have found that TAs aren't as helpful when seeking advice for content of papers, but they are generally more helpful when seeking advice for the structure of the class, grades, or formatting papers. But, like I said, TAs differ wildly from class to class. If you have a question which could be directed to either the TA or the professor, it is probably best to ask the TA first. If it is over the TA's head, then go to the professor. 
• Guidelines for effective group study? Like going into office hours, you should have an idea of what you want to talk about. Before you meet with the group to study, study on your own. Before you meet with a group to discuss a project, research the project on your own. Basically, try to understand the material before you meet to study, and then bring your remaining questions. This way, you can help others who struggled with something you understood, and they can do the same for you. If no one studied beforehand it will be hard to really study together (and lengthy). I have also found it helpful to bring my textbooks, notes, and past tests when studying. This way, we can look at how old tests were formatted, and compare notes to make sure we have all the available information. Also, don't meet to study with slackers. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it is true. If you know that your buddy in class doesn't do any work and is really struggling, then be sure to invite some people who are not struggling as much. If everyone in the study group is lost, then you are not going to get anywhere. Don't exclude people, but definitely try to include the people who work hard. 
• What are some effective resources you can turn to when struggling in a class? Wikipedia, no joke. I learned a lot about the glottalic theory from Wikipedia. In fact, the whole internet has resources. What you need to do is be good at looking up key words and determining whether a site is trustworthy or not. Always check for sources. You can also turn to your classmates; sometimes the thing you are having trouble with is understood by that person one foot away from you and all you have to do is ask. Similarly, your teacher or TA (remember when we talked about office hours? When you are struggling in a class, go to the office hours). Of course, there is always your textbook. I am so annoyed by people who complain about a class being incomprehensible but they never look in the textbook because many times the answers are there. If you are having trouble researching something for your class, you can always turn to the subject librarians; you said you studied Spanish, well did you know there is a subject librarian for Spanish Language & Learning? Almost every subject (at least broadly) has a subject librarian, and they can be very helpful. 
• How do you study for something before you've had a class in it yet? Well, it depends. I always tried to read or skim the chapter we were discussing in class before the day of class. This isn't always an option, though. If you can't find a way to study the upcoming material, then be sure to understand the material that has already been covered; a lot of classes have information that builds on itself. In language classes (and, I'd assume, classes with formulas or dense vocabulary), you should at least look at the upcoming vocabulary/formulas. You don't need to know it, but at least be aware of what is coming. 

B: General college success questions

• Elements of a balanced college life? Eating, sleeping, attending classes, relaxing, socializing. That's it. Sooo easy. Board Question #59399 has great answers on balancing school, work, and play, from Queen Alice and Hypatia. The hard part, obviously, is not working so hard that you're stressed out all the time, and not playing so much that you're failing classes. But that is about all the advice I can give you, because balancing your college life is a personal endeavor, and there is no One-Size-Fits-All Schedule For A Successful College Life. So, here are a few quick ideas to help you balance your life: Prioritize (I like to do homework in the order of the classes; Monday class' homework before Tuesday's, etc.); give yourself time for fun everyday - everyday (your favorite t.v. show, game, or book; calling your best friend; taking a walk); start work early (putting off assignments will lead to an unbalanced, more stressful life); don't do things you hate (this one is from Mr. Mico, obviously you have to write your paper whether you want to or not, but don't cause yourself undue stress. Did your frenemy invite you to do something? Don't do it! It won't be good for anyone!). 
• What does a stereotypical successful college student [SSCS] "do"? Procrastinate...? But seriously, the successful ones find ways to balance their lives. You know how the credit hours associated with a class are supposedly related to how much time you put into the class? Successful college students take those seriously. They study when they don't understand things, they ask questions, they get help, they start thinking about projects and papers more than a week before they are due. There isn't one thing SSCSs do. They do all of the things I've talked about here.*

*There are some SSCSs who don't do any of the things I've talked about. Those people are frustrating, and it is best if they don't boast about how nice it is to never attend class/do homework/take notes/eat their vegetables and still get A's. 

**Compared to countries where high school is hard and college is a joke. Ever wondered why so many people come to the U.S. for higher education?

Dear Bill,

You know, you'd think I would be able to come up with some really great quotes as I am currently working in a law office.  Unfortunately, there is not as much hair-splitting as there is name-calling.  

Nevertheless here are a few gems that have come up at the office:

"I mean sure I cheated on her, but she can't keep taking all of the money out of our bank account! And she threw a knife at me! [shows scar]"

"When we get divorced, she can totally take her couch and the kitchen crap.  But if she tries to take the TV I think we need to start being more aggressive about the divorce settlement."

"I don't do drugs.  I quit cocaine several years ago and I haven't smoked pot in almost 4 months!"

So not the best, but hopefully a couple of quotes to make you chuckle.  To be sure, this is one of the most entertaining jobs I've ever had.  But it's getting me in the annoying habit of double spacing after every period and phrasing things oddly and/or in long, barely understandable compound sentences.  

-Watts

Dear Mr. President,

Anne Certainly's (Slightly* Fabricated) List of Litigious Quotes, of which There Are Not Ten because She Is Lazy and Not Particularly Creative Today

"The packaging said nothing about not giving the flamethrower to children!"

"The interstate commerce clause clearly protects..."

"Define 'dead.'"

"What, you mean we're supposed to use actual quotes?" -Anne, Certainly

~Anne, Certainly

*I made these up.

Dear Prognosticator,

Indoor plumbing... it's gonna be big.

-The Fates

Dear Phil,

Mint.

-Genuine Article

Dear Prognosticator,

My pseudonym.

~Professor Kirke

Dear Prognosticator,

Yo momma.

-Watts

Dear Puxatawny Phil,

Like any good scientist, I needed to collect past data and track popularity for reference while making predictions of future patterns. Here are my initial findings:

 So, there you have it. My research shows that robots will be the next big thing.

-Art Vandelay

Dear rotten,

Nope; in fact, Claudio did a great job answering this same question in Board Question #48369. While it is true that there are a lot of departments on campus that use DSLR cameras (often for newsletters, or PR-related things like making brochures), they do not lend them out. Unless you know someone, like a department secretary or department PR specialist, you'll be hard-pressed finding someone who'll let you use their camera. In the answer I linked to, Claudio suggests renting a camera from Allen's; if their price is too hefty, you could try asking around your circle of friends and acquaintances to see if anyone has a camera you could borrow. Best of luck!

-Mico

Dear Little Spanish Flea,

Seems to me your friends should still be your friends regardless of relationship status, but the fact remains that people in relationships tend to neglect their friends (no matter their gender). Personally, I don't think it's necessary, prudent, or right to ditch your friends just because you start dating someone, so I hope you won't stop inviting your friends to things. People (even those blinded by love) need friends.

-Genuine Article

Dear Dating game newbie,

From my experience, platonic female friendships do tend to fade out as an exclusive relationship sets in.  When it's over, typically, they do resume.  Sometimes they endure over the course of the relationship, but they don't receive as much attention.

-Phaedrus

Dear newbie,

Gimgimno recently posted an answer that I really liked that addressed related issues. His point was basically that almost all college male/female relationships are headed one of two places: marriage or obscurity. To the degree a guy is dating someone seriously, relationships with other girls have much less potential for permanence, so naturally they will spend less time on him and vice-versa.

I think this is ok. For me personally, I'd rather invest most of my leisure time in a few close friends, especially family members, than spend a significant chunk of it continually cycling through a series of relationships that cannot last anyways. When you're relatively free from relationships of commitment you naturally end up with a lot of shallow relationships. This is the default state of most college students and is sometimes viewed as desirable. But the point of shallow relationships is to find deep ones, and as you do priorities naturally realign.

This shift in priorities can clearly happen in an appropriate, gradual way, just as commitment in a relationship should develop gradually. (The behavior you're describing sounds a bit bipolar.) But it's kind of inevitable and necessary that being committed to one person will change a person's relationships with everyone else.

~Professor Kirke

Dear Dusty,

I loved this question! I've kind of wondered about that before as well.

Turns out that the Physics Stack Exchange website has a number of very insightful answers to this very question. (The Stack Exchange websites are user-driven question and answer websites that produce some outstanding stuff.) To summarize my understanding of it, which was heavily influenced by that link, there are a few main factors at work; here they are in the order of conceptual importance that I'd personally assign them: 

1. Inertia. Dust particles have more inertia than the air around them. Think about a room full of (frictionless) bouncy balls in constant motion. The wind will push them away from the fan, but we intuitively realize that some of them will still hit the fan. They're heavy enough that their motion does not perfectly match the motion of the much lighter air molecules around them. Dust particles are much smaller than bouncy balls but still much, much larger than air molecules, so they'll show some of this behavior.

2. Fan blades contact more air than static objects. Since a fan blade hits more air molecules (and more dust molecules floating in the air) than a static object does, more will stick. 

3. Boundary layer conditions. Fluid dynamics shows that there's actually a layer of air that's dragged around by the fan itself - very close to the fan, the air is moving with the fan. Air farther out starts having more relative motion with respect to the fan, which is what we perceive. We'd expect dust to be moving so fast with respect to the fan that it could be hard for it to stick, but because of this boundary layer phenomenon, dust in the air closest to the fan blades is actually not moving with respect to them. Because of this it can stick.

So there you have it. One more point for Science. 

~Professor Kirke

Dear Split,

Either "skizm" or "sizm," but not "shizm." Here's a good resource.

I prefer "skizm."

No Dice

Dear spilt,

"The Great Schism" pronounced "shizm" sounds more like a Jewish magician than it does an event in history. Hard k all the way.

--Gimgimno