"Meetings don't have to be endless to be eternal." -Pres. James E. Faust
Question #80161 posted on 12/05/2014 10:08 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Are you aware of any books that are actually *better* as an audiobook than in their original written form? I recently listened to "Bossypants" by Tina Fey, read by the author, and it would have been funny on its own, but the short, pithy stories, combined with her reading performance, made it seriously perfect to listen to on a road trip. Any other examples where an audiobook just worked perfectly?

- Bossiest Pants

A:

Dear Liz,

Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan.

-M.O.D.A.Q.

A:

Dear El'tha, 

The Audiobook for The Name of the Wind, narrated by Nick Podehl, is simply beautiful. 

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger  

A:

Dear Cake Boss,

I love the audiobook of The Alloy of Law by Brandon Sanderson. It is probably the only audiobook I've listened to that I would define as actually better than the physical book. Michael Kramer brings the characters to life, especially Wayne. Madam Insomniac is a fan of The Silver Chair. I also really like Jim Dale's readings of the Harry Potter books. I used to fall asleep listening to those, so they have a fond place in my heart, although I still like reading Harry Potter better than listening to it.

-Inverse Insomniac


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Q:

Dear M.O.D.A.Q.,

Why the aversion for Alaska? What don't you like about it? Have you ever been to Alaska?

-S.A.M.

A:

Dear Microsoft,

OK, I admit that I've never been to Alaska. In fact, I've only met a handful of Alaskans (which is like, 90% of the population of Alaska, right?) and only really known one all that well. Maybe it was just him but he left a really sour impression in my mind of Alaskans. I am a Texan and while I love Texas I never really thought of myself as one of those annoyingly proud Texans. Then I met this guy from Alaska who would take every chance he could to put down Texas and point out that Alaska was bigger (that wasn't the only reason I didn't like him, but it sure didn't help).

Alaskans, why are you even proud of having a lot of land mass? You know who else had a lot of land mass? Mexico, who we seceded from. Call me back when you have a theme park. Or a professional sports team. Or people who will live there without being paid to.

-M.O.D.A.Q.


0 Comments
Posted on 12/05/2014 8:52 p.m. New Comment on: #80141 What sort of writing groups are there around BYU so that I can get my attempts ...
Question #80132 posted on 12/05/2014 3:26 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What if it don't believe I'll ever get married?

-silent suffer-er

A:

Dear Wade,

Join the club. We meet on Friday nights in our individual apartments to watch Netflix, eat ice cream, and maybe cry a little.

-M.O.D.A.Q.

A:

Dear sufferer,

An institute class I was in a couple of months ago discussed this issue. We had a substitute teacher, who happened to be a single sister in her late 20's, and we were covering some of the Old Testament stories about marriage, such as Isaac journeying to find Rebecca. The teacher talked about how Isaac had the faith to marry, and was willing to go out of his way to look for her. She also talked about the faith it must have taken Rebecca to accept the proposal and journey far from her family to marry Isaac.

She cited a talk from the 1987 July Ensign called "The Faith to Marry." As I read it, I thought a lot of the social attitudes about marriage and male/female roles were definitely outdated, but the general advice of how to gain faith was good. The article goes more into the different points, but it outlines 10 things that can build your faith:

  1. Come to the Lord
  2. Study the scriptures with constant prayer, praying to feel the Lord’s acceptance

  3. Be pure

  4. Cultivate a spirit of appreciation

  5. Do not compare yourself with other people

  6. Serve others for righteous reasons

  7. Cultivate friendships with individuals you can listen to and share with

  8. Date regularly, but date those who have similar interests

  9. Be prepared to choose, using a proper balance between agency and inspiration

  10. Forgive everyone, especially those who may be partly responsible for your fear of marriage

I'll leave you to study and apply these ideas more in depth, but I just want to talk a bit about what it means to have "faith" for something to happen. A lot of people have a hard time with the idea of developing the faith to marry because they've usually already been trying to be faithful and positive about it, and being told that they need to have more faith sounds like being told they're "doing faith wrong" or "don't have enough faith." They feel this way because the expected outcome of their faith - marriage - hasn't happened when they would like or expect it to. This is a pretty normal and understandable reaction.

I'm going to compare having the faith to marry with having the faith to be healed. Early on in my mission, I started to experience a lot of back pain from my (mild) case of scoliosis. It doesn't usually bother me much, but my back gets sore when I'm stressed from all the muscles being tight when they're already trying to compensate for this weird dip in my spine. My area and companion were causing a lot of stress, and my back was more sore than it's been before or since. I got a blessing from my district leader, which talked about the faith to be healed. It also made it sound like my back wasn't necessarily going to feel better right away.

I spent a lot of time talking about what it meant to have the faith to be healed. Did I have faith that the Lord could heal me? Eventually, I decided I did; that if the Lord decided that healing me would be the best thing for my progression, He could make my back feel completely better instantaneously. He could even straighten my spine without me understanding how it happened, if that were necessary. Why, then, when I believed He could do it and He had promised to heal me if I had the faith, would the blessing be delayed? Eventually, I realized that having the faith to be healed meant having faith that at any given moment, the Lord was capable of healing me. Every second He didn't, it was for a specific purpose, and my duty was to go forward every day as if I would be healed in the blink of an eye, and to be positive and trust that every day I wasn't healed was for a reason. This was very freeing, because I no longer had to worry about whether or not my back hurt. It still hurt just as much, but I was able to put it entirely into the Lord's hands, trust His timing, and completely focus my time, energy, and happiness on other things. My back no longer affected my ability to accomplish things, because my happiness and my activities were no longer dependent on how it felt. I trusted God and didn't focus on it. Because of this, while I know that I had stopped experiencing back pain by the time I left the area, I can't even pinpoint exactly when it happened. I didn't even notice, because it had no longer become a focus in my life, despite the fact that I was simultanously exercising faith to be healed the whole time.

I think this is a lot like the faith to marry. Ultimately, the Lord wants you to get married, and He has a plan to help you do so. The thing is, you can't know everything about this plan or the exact timing of it. On any given day, you could meet the person the Lord is preparing for you. Or it could be five years from now. You just don't know. What you can know and have faith in, however, is that the Lord doesn't want to delay this blessing from you any longer than is absolutely necessary for your preparation and progression. You can do your best to date, commit the rest to the Lord, and be free to be happy and accomplish a lot of great things in your life, trusting that it will happen when it's supposed to.

-Zedability


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Posted on 12/05/2014 2:44 p.m. New Comment on: #80138 So every time I have attended synagogue or Mosque (abroad in the Middle East or in ...
Question #80135 posted on 12/05/2014 8:08 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How are area codes assigned ? For instance, what about Utah screams. 801 or the solano county in California scream 707? Is it as random as they seem?

--Kool Aid Man Ashing through a Brick Wall

P.s. Oh-yeaaaaaah

A:

Dear Wall,

Basically by population density. See Board Question #20283.

-Owlet


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Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is the LDS version/equivalent of being "left at the altar"? Do you know of any personal cases? Has a groom/bride ever bolted out of the temple before kneeling at the altar? (I'm not talking about those who have made the abrupt decision the morning of, and didnd't attend the temple... but went inside the temple, and then bolted out before it came time for the sealing?) Has this ever happened? What happens next?

--Kool-Aid Man Smashing through a Brick Wall

P.S. Oh-yeaaaaah

A:

Dear Wall,

The equivalent is sometimes actually being left at the altar. I don't know of any personal cases, but Board Question #76755 and Board Question #65135 should be able to answer your other questions.

-Owlet


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Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do you put pictures of your kids on Facebook? Why or why not? Are there reasons for and against it?


-mom

A:

Dear Mom,

I asked a similar question a while back; I like what Maven and Curious Physics Minor had to say about it in Board Question #74316.

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz

A:

Dear mama,

I do. I think that it's pretty harmless (after all, what could someone really do with just a picture?) and it's the only chance that certain people that I know will have to see pictures of him. However, at the hospital they did warn us to be careful about how we advertise our new baby. They said to avoid putting up signs in our windows and make sure to be careful with our security settings on Facebook, because there is some risk of child abduction. I think that if you're generally kind of careful, you don't have to avoid it entirely.

-Inverse Insomniac


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Question #80156 posted on 12/05/2014 1:44 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Finals is almost upon us. I'm looking to make a playlist with some songs that would be fitting for the occasion (i.e. The Final Countdown, It's the End of the World As We Know It....). Preferably the songs shouldn't be too distracting because I would like to study to it, but after 1-2 listens not much distracts me.

-The End Is Nigh

A:

Dear Wade,

I'd recommend finding a Hans Zimmer playlist on Spotify/Pandora/etc. That seems to be the best study music.

-M.O.D.A.Q.

A:

Dear Nigh,

Including your suggestions, I came up with this list:

  • The Final Countdown
  • It's the End of the World As We Know It
  • All At Once by The Fray (All the stress is coming at once. Sometimes the hardest thing (studying) and the right thing are the same.)
  • Apocalypse Please by Muse (Declare this an emergency come on and spread a sense of urgency...it's time we saw a miracle come on it's time for something biblical to pull us through, and pull us through, and this is the end, this is the end of the world.)
  • Breakdown by Jack Johnson (Let me please breakdown, I wanna break on down, But I cant stop now, Let me break on down.)
  • Cave In by Owl City (Please take a long hard look through your text book 'cause I'm history. When I strap my helmet on I'll be long gone 'cause I've been dying to leave.)
  • Change by Taylor Swift (Because these things will change. Can you feel it now? These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down. This revolution, the time will come for us to finally win. And we’ll sing hallelujah.)
  • Dead Wrong by The Fray (If only I knew what I know I'd make it a point to say so... made it clear I was dead wrong all along.)
  • Don't Panic by Coldplay... for general stress relief
  • Driven to Tears by The Police (How can you say that you're not responsible? What does it have to do with me? What is my reaction, what should it be? Confronted by this latest atrocity - Driven to tears.)
  • Exogenesis:Symphony by Muse... for more general stress relief
  • Fair Fight by The Fray (It's alright, this could be a rough night. So hold tight, this is not a fair fight.)
  • Fall Away by The Fray (Can't fall away from your past, it's following you...you're paying for not studying now, eh?)
  • The Finish Line by Snow Patrol (I think the finish line's a good place we could start. Take a deep breath.)
  • Fix You by Coldplay... because everybody needs some emotional help during finals week
  • Go Outside by Cults (I really want to go out, I really want to go outside and stop to see your day. You really want to hole up. You really want to stay inside and sleep the light away... but you can't because you have to study!)
  • Help! by The Beatles... this one probably shouldn't need explanation
  • I Will Survive by Aretha Franklin... because you can survive hard things!
  • Livin' On a Prayer by Bon Jovi (Woah, we're halfway there, woah, livin' on a prayer, take my hand we'll make it I swear.)
  • Not Crying by Flight of the Conchords... comic relief plus it captures the feeling of trying to hold in your stress
  • Over My Head by The Fray (And everyone knows I'm in over my head.)
  • Paperback Writer by The Beatles (It's a thousand pages, give or take a few; I'll be writing more in a week or two.)
  • The Scientist by Coldplay (Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard, I'm going back to the start.)
  • She by Green Day (She screams in silence, a sullen riot penetrating through her mind. Waiting for a sign to smash the silence with the brick of self-control. Are you locked up in a world that's been planned out for you?)
  • Some Trust by The Fray (Some trust in love and some trust in hatred. Some trust in fear and some in violence. Some trust in faith and some trust in fortune. Some trust God and some just get away.)
  • Spirits in The Material World by The Police... to help you keep an eternal perspective
  • We Can Work It Out by The Beatles (Think of what you're saying. You can get it wrong and still you think that it's alright... We can work it out.)
  • We Will Rock You by Queen... for general encouragement
  • Yesterday by The Beatles (Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away. Now they look as if they're here to stay.)

I think a lot of these might actually be more discouraging than helpful, but there's a few good ones in there too. I made a playlist of most of the songs on Spotify if you really want to listen to it. (It's missing Taylor Swift, The Beatles, and some of the lesser-known songs by The Fray.) If you actually want to study though, I'd second M.O.D.A.Q.'s suggestion of a Hans Zimmer playlist.

-Zedability

A:

Dear Nigh,

The only music you need to listen to while you're studying are The Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter soundtracks. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 are the best of the best.

-Ms.O'Malley


0 Comments
Thursday, December 4, 2014
Question #80150 posted on 12/04/2014 8:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's your general impression of literary characters who never fail and can do anything perfectly the first time with minimal or no effort?

-Ayn Heinlein

A:

Dear Ayn,

When I was like eight, I was obsessed with Nancy Drew. I owned every single modern edition and I collected a large chunk of the first editions as well (although there are huge differences between the first editions and modern editions). The reason I liked Nancy so much was that she was, essentially, perfect. Her mother is dead, so she had the whole pitiable, mother-less thing going on and her father's a fabulously wealthy lawyer, because Nancy never wants for money in the books. Besides her wealth, she's very attractive, fluent in French, a great artist, has a trendy car and a college boyfriend, is very athletic but also feminine, and literally never messes up—all despite the fact that she's just eighteen. When she does end up getting captured or something goes wrong, it's never her fault and whenever she wants to attempt something difficult, she always succeeds or her failure is blamed on the villain or something outside of her control. 

I wanted little more than to be Nancy from the time I was little. Even at a young age I recognized how perfect her character was and how everyone who was good and respectable instantly liked her and wanted to help her. She was intelligent and hardworking, but also happened to be a child prodigy. The older I got, the more frustrated I became with Nancy and her successes. At the same time, however, I was worried that in future books her perfection would be taken away from her and I would have nothing to aspire to. If Nancy failed, it meant that we would all have to fail because Nancy was the pinnacle of perfection. Nothing could supersede her. 

Today I still love Nancy and her personality. However, her perfection isn't quite as rosy to me anymore, and while reading the books is a fantastic trip back to my childhood, I can see where Nancy's luck or skills are unrealistic (hello, the girl never had to work a day in her life and she grew up with a housekeeper—how on earth is she such a good cook?) or where her character actually does have faults (she's affectionate to her family, but largely ignores them and puts her sleuthing ahead of them).

My general impression is that these types of characters are fun to emulate or look up to, but that it's important to either notice their weaknesses as well, or recognize that they are unrealistic and unattainable for most people. 

-Concorde

A:

Dear Wade,

They're the best, obviously. I mean, they never do anything wrong!

Seriously though, part of me loves this characters even though I realize that they are completely unbelievable and can never have any kind of character development, which would make them far more interesting. I guess I just like having someone you can always count on, that will never fail you, you know what I mean?

-M.O.D.A.Q.


0 Comments
Question #80154 posted on 12/04/2014 5:32 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I know diff uni's all over the world employ different grading schemes. The whole USA mentality of 60-69=D; 70-79=C; 80-89=B; 90-100=A (with degrees of - and + in between) doesn't apply to every country. No surprise there because the Uk had an extreme diff set of standards, but I was really surprise (dare I say pleasantly) surprised by ubc's grading scheme. An A form falls within the range of 80-100... My question is.... Is this grading scheme just a ubc thing or a Canadian thing? And why? Does that mean it's easier to obtain an A of sorts (I would say heck no), but What does the USA think of Canadian grades? (Or maybe it's just ubc grades). Why is this scheme preferred here?

-Candid non-Canadian

A:

Dear Candid,

As I explained in your other question, letter grades aren't as much of a thing in Canada as they are in the States. When I applied to BYU, I'd only ever had grades given as percentages. I used the American system (90-100 = A, 80-80 = B, etc.) to convert my grades by myself and apply to BYU, and fortunately my grades were pretty high so it worked out okay. However, now BYU requires Canadian students to send their transcripts to an independent company to convert their transcript. When my brother applied to BYU, this company used the same system you described, where 80-100 is an A.

However, this doesn't mean it's easier to obtain an A, because Canadian school systems tend to grade much more harshly than American schools, in my experience. The school system (especially in high school) is more challenging and is generally ranked higher on an international scale.* For instance, in my high school the kids who were getting 70% in an AP class typically scored a 4 on the AP exam, which you wouldn't expect from a C student in America. So this system means that even though the raw percentages differ between the two countries, when you convert it to a letter grade, they should be basically interchangeable because it reflects the same level of understanding.

In my experience, the USA typically tends to view Canadian grades the same as American grades once it's a letter grade. Percentages are confusing because of different educational standards. Many institutions, like BYU, outsource the conversion to an independent company that specializes in comparing such things.

-Zedability

*Based on what my Canadian friends say about university, I'd say that American vs. Canadian universities are probably equally challenging in what you're actually expected to learn and the quality of education you get, but Canadian universities continue to grade more harshly; tests are designed to have a lower class average in Canada than the States. It seems to me that my American friends experienced a bit of a jump from Grade 12 to freshman year of college, whereas for me my freshman year of college mostly felt like a review of high school. After that, things seem to equalize, other than the grading system.


0 Comments
Question #80153 posted on 12/04/2014 5:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Here in the fab land of Canada, is it typical for uni transcripts to not only include your grade in the class, but your exact % in the class, and the % of the class average right next to the grade? Or is it just a UBC thing? I'm not sure how I feel about this.... Because though I get an A, it shows that I wasn't necessarily the top in the class or that I was borderline with an A-, etc., ya know? Is it portrayed for student eyes only or when I submit transcripts elsewhere, do they see this as well?

Recap:
-do all Canadian uni post % of student's grade on their transcript (not just the letter grade). Or just ubc?
-do all Canadian uni post the % of the class average on the transcript next to a student's grade? Or just ubc?
-are these only for the students' transcripts or do other institutions see it (when transcripts are submitted elsewhere for a panoply of reasons)?
-if so.... Why???? I mean, I can guess why... But why here and no where else?

-Candid non-Canadian

A:

Dear Candid,

The thing about your UBC and Vancouver-specific questions is none of us have been there. We actually have fewer resources than you do to answer the question, and you'd probably be better served by asking your friends or classmates about things like this. You can use Student Services or their contact list for something not every local knows the answer to.

For instance, with transcripts, the question is going to go over a lot more smoothly when a real student asks it. On their "order a transcript" page, they list an email address: transcripts.students@ubc.ca, where you can probably ask them if your actual percentage will show up on your transcripts. I'm not saying this to be unhelpful or because I don't want to answer your question; I'm saying it because I'm concerned that you won't get the best information possible from us.

In general, different Canadian universities use slightly different systems. For instance, universities in Alberta typically grade on a 9-point system. An 8 or 9 in the class is good (like an A or a B), 6 or 7 isn't great but is a pass (like a C), a 5 is technically a pass but is pretty bad (like a D), and below 4 is failing. Other universities may have different systems, simply post percentages, or use letter grades. There's not a set standard.

High school transcripts in Alberta only come with percentages; letter grades aren't used at all. Your reaction to percentages actually intrigues me because it reminds me of the adjustment I had to the American system - I basically reacted in the exact opposite way you did. I was honestly disappointed to realize that on my BYU transcript, it would just say "A." Like you said, there's a difference between scraping by with an A and getting 99.46 in a class, and percentages show that distinction, whereas only letter grades obscure it. I've found that honestly, I've become less committed to getting everything I can out of my classes compared to in Canada, because I know that as long as I get an A, there's really no way for them to know whether I was the most dedicated and brilliant student ever, or if I was just saved by the curve. On the other hand, I've definitely appreciated the American system for those times when a class is really challenging and the raw percentage looks abysmal even if you actually did well in comparison to the rest of the group.

Basically, there's no one perfect system. Each has its advantages and disadvantages, and unfortunately there's not a lot to be done about it other than understand your university's system and make academic decisions that will make your transcript looks as good as possible.

-Zedability


0 Comments
Question #80119 posted on 12/04/2014 4:14 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

So, I really would like to start a music career (Many have told me my voice is great and I happen to agree with them), but I do not play any instruments outside of my voice-box. How would one go about introducing her voice to the world without spending money besides singing covers on youtube?

-The voice without a name

A:

Dear E’lir,

(Please read the following as if you were Nathan Lane in the producers)

Steps to becoming a famous singer:

  • Step 1: Find the worst producer in town
  • Step 2: Write the most generic lyrics ever
  • Step 3: Raise two million dollars (one for me, one for you)
  • Step 4: Hire the worst band in New York and open on stage
  • Step 5: And just as soon as you have opened, shut the whole thing down, leave everyone in awe of how awful you are, and take the money and go to Rio.

This is clearly the way to go. However, if you are not interested in being an infamous singer, I suggest considering the tips that WikiHow has to offer on this.

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger 

A:

Dear El Sir,

Or, instead of doing step 5, you could stay on stage and become the next [insert oft-denigrated musical act—Nickelback, Justin Bieber, One Direction, etc.].

-yayfulpleasedontthrowtomatoesatmeness


0 Comments
Question #80114 posted on 12/04/2014 10:32 a.m.
Q:

Dear yayfulness,

Have you seen this website? http://mapsontheweb.zoom-maps.com/

-Fellow Map Nerd, always up for map website suggestions.

A:

Dear map nerd,

Another map tumblog to follow? Heck yes!

For some reason I thought I was following more map sites on Tumblr than I actually am. I follow The Land of Maps and a blog whose title I cannot post here, but the second and third words in its name are "yeah" and "cartography," if you care to look it up. I also get my daily dose of geographic humor from Map Fail.

I'd love to hear about more map sites; if readers have suggestions for me, send me an email and I will love you.

-yayfulness

BREAKING NEWS And literally ten seconds after finishing this answer, I get on Tumblr and run into another map blog I haven't heard of. Thank you, Just Maps, for making my day that much better.


0 Comments
Posted on 12/04/2014 10:20 a.m. New Comment on: #80141 What sort of writing groups are there around BYU so that I can get my attempts ...
Posted on 12/04/2014 10:20 a.m. New Comment on: #80141 What sort of writing groups are there around BYU so that I can get my attempts ...
Question #80149 posted on 12/04/2014 7:08 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What does the experience of studying in BYU feel like for someone who is a non-LDS international student?

-Rain

A:

Dear Rain,

I contacted a former writer, Mico, as her husband is a non-member and they met at BYU. This is how he described his experience:

"IT WAS MEH.
Religion classes: booooooring. SO boooooring. The boringest. They don't ask you to pray, I think it's marked somewhere that I am not a member (one exception during the whole time -- I said I am not a member -- he said you can pray anyway -- don't remember what I said)
Book of Mormon: Mark Twain was right.
Sundays: ME WANT FOOD. Why is everything closed?
People: everyone will invite you to church. Some people are annoyingly too friendly. Everyone will always mention how they know someone they perceive related to your country.
Dating: I got "Sorry, I want to get married in the temple" email once.
Beards: I had a goatee about 50% of the time. Most people don't care. Sometimes overzealous minions might ask for beard card, but not very often.
You've got to find the right social circle. Most people in BYU probably hang out with their ward. You should join a club instead. Or several.
There may be a difference between "religious non-member" and "non-religious non-member". Everyone's experience is different; mine was more shaped by my nerdiness and social awkwardness rather than being international or non-member."

Also, I want to add that he told me once that he went to movies a lot on Sundays because there was no one to hang out with and the theaters were mostly empty then. He also said people tried to talk to him in Russian, which he didn't like, and he would usually respond in English.

I also wanted to add that he was a C.S. major for both undergrad and grad school. I would guess that the general distribution of types of people and interactions might be different than for, say, a liberal arts major.

I think he makes a lot of good points and also shows how it depends a lot on the individual. Something common I've heard from a lot of non-member students is that they all, at some point, feel frustrated with how many people keep trying to tell them about church or bring them along to church. Considering how annoyed I get by all the people trying to convince me to watch Frozen, I think this is completely understandable. The thing to remember is that when you're surrounded by a largely homogenous group of people, there will always be pressure to "join in," whether it's attending church or watching a Disney movie.

If you're curious about religion or are open to learning about it from an intellectual standpoint, you might enjoy the religion classes; otherwise, as Mr. Mico says, they will probably be boring for you if you're a very non-religious person.

Campus is full of returned missionaries who speak a variety of languages. I can personally attest that when I find someone who's willing to speak my mission language, I get really excited. Learning a language in that way is difficult and a unique experience, so it feels awesome to get to re-live that. If you get frustrated by people trying to speak your language, be prepared.

I found a few other articles about the non-LDS experience. Basically, it's a mixed bag. Some people really enjoy it, some don't, and most have things they like and dislike. I found it interesting that a lot of the complaints were things I could identify with; Utah "Mormon culture" can be pretty different for me even as a pretty orthodox Mormon from a different part of the world.

I hope this helps!

-Zedability


0 Comments
Question #80148 posted on 12/04/2014 4:32 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How to recover from a broken engagement? My fiancée recently decided to end our engagement. She doesn't like my career goal of becoming a military doctor and the military lifestyle. I don't blame her because the military life is not for everyone and I have no problem with that. However, this broken engagement has seriously damaged my motivation to pursuit a relationship and now I have an aversion towards relationship and marriage. Although I am surrounded by supportive friends, family members and church leader, whenever I hear the words relationship and marriage, all I can think of is that I don't want to be in a relationship any more and would rather focusing on my education and career and be a single person forever.

-Dr.LeaveMeAlone

A:

Dear doctor,

I think that under the circumstances, your feelings are perfectly natural. Regardless of what our culture tells you, it is okay to feel that way sometimes. The only advice I can give you is to recognize that someday, you will probably not feel the same way. In the mean time, don't worry about dating. The desire will come back when it comes back, and you have plenty of other things to do until then.

-yayfulness

A:

Dear Dr.,

I think it's totally normal to take some time after ending a serious relationship before being ready to start dating again. When I break up, I usually start focusing on all the things I'm now free to do. I come up with new ways to improve myself and find meaning in my own personal life. I'll usually start exercising more, take up a new hobby, do service, and create other goals to pursue. My suggestion to you is to give yourself a "no-dating pass" for a certain number of months. So, if you decided to give yourself a 4-month "pass," then for those four months, you've decided that dating is not an expected or planned part of your life. It doesn't really matter what anyone else says; this is your life. During this time, just work on other things and do what you enjoy. This doesn't mean you can't date; if you happen to meet a girl you like or have a fun date idea that you want to casually bring someone on, you're totally free to do so. But it's not expected or required of you.

Meanwhile, work on developing your faith that the Lord has a plan for your life. Read your patriarchal blessing, attend the temple, study the scriptures, pray, and get a blessing if you feel like you need one. The Lord does want you to have the joys and blessings that come from a marriage and family, and He knows how to best make it happen. You're going to need a special kind of person to deal with the military lifestyle, and the Lord is preparing her. If you're following His promptings, He'll help you meet her when the time is right. This might be during your no-dating pass time, or it might be later, once you've moved on. You can't know when, but you can have faith that it will happen. At the end of your no-dating time, take some time to prayerfully evaluate your desires and decide how to proceed from there when it comes to dating.

So basically, go ahead and focus on education, career, and singlehood. Those are good, constructive responses to moving on from a breakup. Just remember to not get stuck in a rut with it, but to have a plan and a timeline to revisit the issue when you're in a better place about what happened.

-Zedability


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