Kissing is just cuddling with your lips. -Krishna

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Friday, July 28, 2017
Question #90164 posted on 07/28/2017 8:56 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's the name of the ear cleaning tool doctors use to get out excess wax? It's just a piece of metal with a small loop on the end.

Thanks,
alas, earwax

A:

Dear your welcome,

It is called a curette. 

-Sunday Night Banter


0 Corrections
Posted on 07/28/2017 12:53 p.m. New Correction on: #90138 Someone once told me that everyone likes the smell of their own farts. No, seriously, someone ...
Question #90160 posted on 07/28/2017 12:52 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If the moon were made of cheese, how much milk would it take to produce that quantity of cheese?

-Mr. Morton

A:

Dear Mr. Morton,

Oh boy, am I excited for this. I've kept myself and the other writers waiting on this answer for the past 97 hours, so let's get right to it!

First of all, there are a couple of different ways to interpret your question. When you say "that quantity", do you mean the mass of the moon or the volume of the moon? Well, I'm going to answer both of those questions. Also, what kind of cheese? When someone says that the moon is made of cheese, most people think of Swiss cheese, because of the holes, but there are so many different types of Swiss cheeses, so I'm going to pick Emmentaler, which is the cheese that most "Swiss cheese" is modeled after.

The mass of the moon (according to Google) is 7.34767309 x 1022 kg. According to Fundamentals of Cheese Science, you can get somewhere between 9 kg and 12 kg of Emmentaler cheese for every 100 kg of milk. If we pick the midpoint of those numbers, that's 10.5 kg of cheese for every 100 kg of milk. If we divide the mass of the moon by that ratio, we get 6.99778390 x 1023 kg of milk. The density of milk is approximately 1.03 kg/L, and there are 3.78541 liters in a gallon, so that is equivalent to 1.7947765 x 1023 gallons. In standard notation, just for emphasis, that's 179,477,650,000,000,000,000,000 gallons of milk.

The volume of the moon will take less cheese, but the calculations will be slightly more complicated, so bear with me. The volume of the moon is 2.197 x 1022 L. The density of Swiss cheese happens to be pretty close to the same as that of milk, 1.03 kg/L, so we can convert our 10.5 kg cheese/100 kg milk factor to 10.5 L cheese/100 L milk. So it takes 2.092381 x 1023 L (5.5274883 x 1022 gallons) of milk to make a ball of Swiss cheese the size of the moon, right? Well, no. See, the whole point of Swiss cheese is that it has holes, and I haven't factored in the porosity of the cheese. Some scientists measured the volume of the holes (technically called eyes) in Emmentaler cheese using CT scans and found that the relative eye volume cheese with the strongest eye formation was about 3.47%. So, since Swiss cheese is only about 96.53% cheese, we'll factor that into our calculated volume and get 2.019775 x 1023 L (5.3356845 x 1022 gallons) of milk. 

Finally, let's put this into perspective. The Holstein is the highest-producing dairy cattle in the world. Every year, the average Holstein cow produces 2674 gallons of milk per year, and most of the more than 9 million dairy cows in the United States are Holsteins. It would take all the cows in the USA more than 2 trillion years to make enough milk to make a ball of Swiss cheese the size of the moon, and over 7 trillion years (more than half the age of the universe so far) to make enough milk to make a ball of Swiss cheese with the same mass as the moon.

-The Entomophagist


0 Corrections
Question #90121 posted on 07/28/2017 11:02 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What are the chances of someone getting into the Marriott School of Management if they're applying for a second time? Are there any statistics on this?

-A hopeful wife

A:

Dear friend,

Apparently there are not statistics on this (as far as I can tell). The rate remains at around 53%, but presumably a year of preparation and focused study could increase the odds from what they were last time for the applicant. Good luck!

-Van Goff


0 Corrections
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Question #90138 posted on 07/27/2017 7:55 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Someone once told me that everyone likes the smell of their own farts. No, seriously, someone told me that. Do you agree? Are there any other smells that you only like "your" smell?

Thanks,

flower-scented lotion

A:

Dear...wait, is that really how your gas smells?

First of all...what? You heard what? I think I speak for most people when I say that is not true. I can say that I have learned from being a CNA that I prefer my own gas to someone else's. However, I think that is mostly because when I pass gas, there is no element of surprise to it. And there's nothing more surprising than someone letting one rip right in your face. 

Up until now, I've seen it as an evolutionary love note that things that can harm you smell really bad. SO WE DON'T EAT THEM. The smell of rotten food, decomposing corpses, excrement, etc. turns most people off. There are people who find feces and defecation a turn-on, and I'm assuming that would lead to an enjoyment of your own (and others) farts. To each his own, you know. But as far as I can tell, coprophilia is fairly uncommon.

And this is for good reasons. If you ingest untreated human excrement, there are serious risks of ingesting very harmful bacteria and heavy metals. However, properly treated human feces are legally used in the United States as fertilizers. Also, fecal microbiota transplants are becoming more common, but there's a strict process to ensure maximum safety, including a careful screening of the donor, processing the sample in sterile conditions, and informing the patient of the possible risks and unknowns of the treatment.  

But now I'm wondering...is it dangerous to eat your own fecal matter? Poop isn't sterile (but hey, urine isn't either), but whatever is inside that poop was once inside of you. So for you, flower-scented lotion, I have now joined the club of people who have Google searched "is it safe to eat your own fecal matter?".

The most reliable article I was able to find that answered this question was a collection of gastroenterologists and nutritionists responding off the top of their heads. The consensus was that it is not harmful to ingest your own fecal matter, as long as it is collected in a clean way (i.e. not out of your toilet bowl). In fact, a couple of them said that it could be slightly nutritious since our body isn't 100% effective in digesting food.

Okay, I've gone off topic enough. In summary, I don't think it is normal to enjoy the smell of your own farts. There are great reasons to not be attracted to the smell of farts/poop. However, it is much less dangerous to eat your own poop (which may give credibility to your claim) and could possibly have some minimal health benefits. But honestly, it's more healthy just to eat a regular meal. Please, just do that. 

Cheers,

The Lone Musketeer

A:

Dear Carrion Flower,

To answer your second question there, I'm pretty sure all strongly scented perfume/smelly lotion/pungent cologne/copious amounts of Axe body spray* falls into this category. Presumably the people actually wearing this stuff seem to like it, but when I can smell another person moving, it's not good.

~Anathema

*Note that I'm not against all these products ever being used. They can be nice, but when people are traveling around in their own little scent-clouds, it's way too much.

A:

Dear yosef,

Was that person just trying to tell you that they like the smell of their own farts? 'Cause I don't think that's a common thing. 

I did, however, grow somewhat fond of six-week-old cast on my arm in high school. It smelled terribly, so maybe liking it was a defense mechanism so that I didn't have to gag? I don't know, but it was uncomfortable overall and I'm still embarrassed to admit it. 

-AS

A:

Dear you,

So in other words, someone blatantly lied to you?

-i think the brand of deodorant i use smells nice does that count

A:

Dear you, 

Considering that I couldn't stand my farts last night after my stomach was cramping with gas pains, I'll disagree.

I could do an experiment, but because I already know that I don't like smelling my own farts, I will have to pass on the experiment.

-Sunday Night Banter

P.S. You can't believe everything you hear.


1 Correction
Posted on 07/27/2017 6:03 p.m. New Correction on: #90134 'Sup 100 Hour Board, I saw this USPS blue box . It gives a warning about ...
Question #90155 posted on 07/27/2017 6:02 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

You're fantasies can't ever be quenched, can they?!

When will you learn?
When will you learn...That your actions have consequences?!?!?!

-SammyClassicSonicFan

A:

Dear kwarshiorkor,

[Insert inspirational cat memes here]

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz

A:

Dear SuperSonic,

The phrase "You're fantasies can't ever be quenched, can they?!" didn't quite make sense, so I hope you don't mind if I edit it slightly to restore it to what I'm sure was the true meaning:

"You are fantasies that can't ever quenched, can you?!"

You got me. I'm actually just a fantasy dreamed up by the only real writer for the Board: Matt Meese. Nothing but a shadow, my thirst for more and more questions can indeed never be quenched. 

One of the pros of being locked in the phantom world is that I don't really have actions. Thus, no, I won't ever really learn that actions have consequences. I'd have to have experience for that.

~Anathema (but really just the specific fantasy being brought to life for this particular answer)


0 Corrections
Question #90140 posted on 07/27/2017 6:02 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How does BYU check you marital status for if you are living in married housing?/ Will they kick you out if you exceed the 30 days?

I know BYU has this big rule with married and single housing. I'm about to graduate BYU this December, but I'm engaged to a Canadian.

Long story short, he needs a fiance visa to come here and get married legally. Because we have to get a visa we have no idea when we will get married. I currently have married housing for next semester and wanted to know if BYU will kick me out of it for not being married for awhile.

Cant find any knowledge on this, so I need you guys!

-Marrying a foreigner

A:

Dear Congratulations,

It appears as though none of us on the Board know the answer to your question. If any readers have useful information, please post a correction.

~Anathema


0 Corrections