"I'm too embarrassed to admit to having eaten there; I'll just tell everyone I was doing NCMO instead. I have my pride, after all." -Hobbes' friend

While we appreciate factual corrections, consider posting on the Board Comment Board, brought to the readers by popular request.

Monday, January 23, 2017
Question #88833 posted on 01/23/2017 7:40 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Which bathroom in the Library is the least populated at any given time of day?

-Someone who likes their alone time

A:

Dear You're Not Alone,

There is a certain, nice bathroom in the library that's generally empty. In the interest of keeping it that way, instead of declaring which bathroom that is over the internet, email me, and I'll give you your answer.

~Anathema


0 Corrections
Question #88834 posted on 01/23/2017 7:28 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm an Interdisciplinary Humanities major, and a requirement for graduation is to take a language up to the 300 level. The thing is, I want to graduate as soon as I can (I'm a super senior) and was thinking of taking Latin, since it only takes three classes at least. But I've heard that it's hard.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't do well in a class I hate, and I'm not the most studious person ever. I'm not stupid, but I'm not a genius nerd either. Would someone like me do well in a Latin class? Or would I be miserable?

-Frustrated Super Senior

A:

Dear friend,

I haven't taken Latin since high school but can compare it to German, which is what I chose to take in college for the language requirement. To finish the requirement in three semesters, you'll need to take Latin 111, which is the equivalent of Latin 101 and Latin 102 in one semester (eight weeks if you choose to take it over spring term). Even though it's only one credit extra than Latin 101, you are signing up for the equivalent of two semesters' worth of information. You'll need to treat it like it's two semesters' worth, which means a lot of studying and effort.

Latin is indeed a hard language. Learning styles and instructors may factor into this, but the Latin course I took in high school was actually harder than my German courses in college have been thus far. Learning it requires good memorization skills and an understanding of its grammar system (which is different from English grammar). Aural learners may not enjoy Latin as much because, as a dead language. you mainly read and write it rather than speak it. If you feel that an intensive course that takes significant strain to pick up isn't your cup of tea, though, you may be happier in the long run choosing a different language.

That being said, please don't let my word of caution scare you off if that's what you want to do. Remember that it will be a little hard and if you end up disliking it, studying may be torturous for you. But if your aim is to finish the requirement as soon as possible and you want to dedicate yourself to eating, sleeping, and breathing Latin for a semester, you'll make it through okay.

As a humanities student, Latin is actually an excellent and super helpful language choice. If you want to learn any of the Romance languages later, Latin will boost your written and verbal understanding of both. I loved my time studying it, and you very well may. Latin is rich in history and, as you'll learn a little about Rome along the way, is a fascinating language and culture. You're a Humanities student so I imagine you like these things, too. For that reason, Latin may be worth your time. Just know what you're getting into.

If any of the readers are Latin or Classical Studies students, please share your insights (especially if you took the Latin 111 route). Carpe diem!

-Van Goff


0 Corrections
Question #88755 posted on 01/23/2017 3:04 p.m.
Q:

Dear The Board,
My in-laws recently told me that when they were at BYU and applied to go on their respective missions in the late '70s they had to take a language test. The test consisted of sets of letters and you had to find a word that fit the letters in the order they were in, much like the license plate game. Can you find me a copy of this test?

-Nellie Bly

A:

Dear Pinky,

Sorry that I held this question over so long, I sent an email to the MTC training department to see if they even still have the test and for some reason wanted to share it with me. But they still haven't gotten back to me, even after repeated prodding, so this is what I've got!

After a lot of searching, I found (on page 29 of this article) that the language aptitude test that the MTC used to administer is the MLAT (Modern Language Aptitude Test).

Here are some sample questions from the MLAT, but I can't find a section of the test that matches what you described in your question, in fact, I couldn't find a single language aptitude test that included such a test! So I decided to make one for you.

1. shrpa dve
2. exremy atrctive
3. itelignt
4. wel-spkn
5. mgnanmus
6. rsults drven
7. snd me sushi

Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave 


0 Corrections
Question #88800 posted on 01/23/2017 11:34 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If you're comfortable sharing, how do you feel the spirit? When did you learn to recognize it?
I'm struggling with my testimony, trying to really get my own. The problem lies with me not really knowing how the spirit speaks to me. I have a rough past filled with sins that I guess I've kinda attributed the absence of knowing the spirit, but I've been earnestly trying (admittedly with some mess-ups) to repent and overcome it. I've been recommended to kneel and pray for like 30 minutes before, which I've done twice.
Any other suggestions?

-Patron saint of trying

A:

Dear Anselm,

I feel the Spirit in a variety of ways, normally dependent on the specific situation that I currently find myself in. Sometimes I feel an overpowering feeling of warmth. Other times I feel shaky all over (in a good way), and like my limbs are full of pins and needles (as in the sensation you get after an arm or leg has fallen asleep). At times I'm brought to tears with the power of emotion I feel, and then there are other instances where the Spirit is the barest impression at the back of my mind. The constant in all these different situations is that they are all positive experiences, promote me to do good/be better, and seem to come from an external source from myself. 

To help better illustrate how I feel the Spirit, I'm going to relate a couple of spiritual experiences I've had in the past year.

Some months ago, I was pondering a lot over a question pertaining to what direction I should take my life. I had gotten some answers previously, but was unsure if what I had received was truly from God, or just my own thoughts. It seemed as though I had been given certain promises, but the content of those promises just seemed so far-fetched and illogical that I couldn't see how they could have possibly come from God. One evening, I was turning this over in my head yet again when the words suddenly came into my mind, "Why do you doubt?" The thought came in my own voice, yet it had completely interrupted my current train of thought, and felt foreign. I am sure that was the Spirit speaking to me, because 1) that thought did not originate from me, and 2) it promoted deeper trust in God. 

Last semester, there was one week where I saw flyers hanging up all over that were advertising TA positions for a specific department. The deadline for the applications was listed as the upcoming Friday at noon. Throughout the entire week, every time I walked past those flyers, I had this weird certainty I was going to get one of those positions. This feeling persisted despite my decision NOT to apply, because I didn't think I was qualified enough to even have a chance. Anyways, less than 24 hours before the deadline, I changed my mind and scrambled to get my application completed on time. Lo and behold, I am now working as a TA in that department. Again, I know this must have been the Spirit, because the impression I got was in direct contrast with my personal thoughts, therefore it must have originated from some divine source. Considering this impression was good, I know that divine source must have been God.

I can't always distinguish whether an impression is from God, or merely from myself. Sometimes, I only realize that I was feeling the Spirit in hindsight. This makes me think something that could help you recognize the Spirit would be to reflect on the good choices you've made, or times when you felt truly happy. What gives you the motivation to keep on trying, even when you don't seem to see the results? How did you recognize that your testimony was struggling and decide to try and remedy that?

Sometimes the way in which the Spirit works is by encouraging our righteous impulses, which is more subtle and thus harder to recognize. But it doesn't mean that you're any less in tune with the Spirit than if you had had some major declaration.

Hopefully something I've said here is helpful to you. If you want to talk more, please email me at anathema@theboard.byu.edu.

~Anathema

A:

Dear St. Wilgefortis,

Feeling the spirit is really hard for me, too, so you're not alone. It's not that I don't believe in God but I have a hard time believing that He loves me. Repentance is a beautiful process but sometimes it doesn't make us stop regretting our past. That said, there are moments that I can think, "This feeling has to be the spirit, what else could it be?"

The most prominent way I've felt the spirit is through others. I really believe that God works through other people and that through them, we can learn to draw closer to Him. Maybe there's a difference between love and the spirit. I think they're interconnected, though. Even Les Miserables says that "to love another person is to see the face of God," right? Les Mis, the Bible, same difference. I also feel the spirit as comfort, I guess, during hard times. Sometimes, it is also a feeling of peace. This semester, I've been trying to spend time in the temple. Even though I thought I would feel joy there, it was more like contentedness. I think that's the spirit.

About a year and a half ago, someone in a similar situation as myself suggested that perhaps the reason I couldn't feel the spirit was because I held so much guilt from my past and wasn't letting myself feel it. They suggested that for the time being, I put aside trying to feel worthy at church and focus on building a relationship with God. To them, this involved praying to try and know God and reading the scriptures to understand Him. At the time, I didn't take much thought into it until pretty much the same thing was repeated in a blessing a while later--pray and search the scriptures to understand God.

Instead of praying strictly to repent or reading the scriptures out of guilt, I tried reading and praying to build a relationship with God. Months passed and, gradually, I started to feel more comfortable praying and more at peace in daily life. Sometimes, I even felt the spirit (which I hadn't been able to say for a long time).

I think the difference is that instead of visualizing God as a cruel, punishing figure who hangs our sins over our heads all the time, I started to picture Him more as a Father in Heaven who loves us and wants us to return to Him. It didn't make all my concerns go away but it did open me to feeling the spirit more often. Whether or not this is part of your problem, I'm not sure, but maybe building a more healthy relationship with God/religion in general could help you recognize and let yourself feel the spirit.

Can I just say that you're doing all the right things, though? That you're earnestly seeking the spirit and working to draw closer to God says a lot about you.  Your heart's in the right place. I think it's one of those things that strengthens with trying over time, you know? Don't beat yourself up, friend.

-Van Goff

A:

Dear person,

I try to follow the commandments and love others, but I am a person who could be better about praying and deliberating about decisions and trying to get confirmations about the choices I make. I make a lot of my life decisions rather impulsively without much inner turmoil. And yet, I feel like God has guided my life and blessed me tremendously in just about every way. So I think many of the things I think of as my own impulses may actually be messages from a Holy Ghost that knows my temperament.

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received was this: "Figure out how the atonement works for you." This wonderful man was telling me was that figuring out how the atonement works for me is a lifelong and personalized journey filled with uncertainty and unexpected answers. This was very liberating because it made me realize that there isn't just one way that the atonement works for everyone. It might work for me in a way that I wouldn't anticipate, and it was mine to discover. The uncertainty wasn't something to be afraid of, but to embrace.

Now, relating this back to you and your question. My suggestion is this: "Figure out how the Holy Ghost talks to you." I mean it in the same way this man meant it to me - figuring out how the spirit speaks to you is a lifelong and personalized journey filled with uncertainty and unexpected answers. I think it means following the commandments and loving others and doing things that you love and spending time with people that you love, all with the underlying assumption that the Holy Ghost is probably speaking to you and answering your questions and with trust that eventually you will be able to identify his voice.

One final thought - this approach may have been best for me precisely because I am a person who enjoys mystery and the unknown. If this answer makes you feel terrible, that's okay. Keep looking for answers. If you seek, you will eventually and inevitably find.

-Sheebs

A:

Dear St. You,

All good things take time, and recognizing the Spirit is no exception. I have much to learn in terms of recognizing and feeling the Spirit, but I'll share with you some of the things I've come to understand. I often feel the Spirit through written or spoken words. I often feel a rush of warmth or emotion when I hear or read certain words, and they'll have an answer or special meaning for me. This happens to me most often through music, and often through written text as well.

A talk that has always appealed to me on the subject is "An Educated Conscience", by Steven R. Covey. I identify with his description of the the Spirit, and I often feel that the Spirit is a more educated and enlightened form of my own thoughts. It's easy to split hairs on the idea of identifying what's from the Spirit and what's not, but I often consider all my thoughts and impressions that edify and invite me to do better as being from the Spirit.

I think the thing that will help you most in recognizing the Spirit is time. If you are honestly trying to seek the companionship of the Spirit, God won't deny you it. But it may take time, so be patient, remember that learning usually doesn't happen all at once. In the meantime, continue striving to live in a way that you can best feel the Spirit. Understanding will come with time.

Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave

A:

Dear you,

I'll often have words come to my head. I don't hear them aloud, but they're accompanied with a feeling of rightness that lets me know it's not just me. Learning to listen to and interpret the Spirit didn't come quickly. I like to say that God has been putting me through a training program throughout my life, especially the last 10 years or so. Like any relationship, a person's relationship with the Holy Ghost builds with shared experiences. With time, we can get to know Him better and better.

My advice would be to think of the Spirit as a person rather than a mysterious force. Get to know Him. One of the easiest answers to feel comes when you ask God if He loves you. The Holy Ghost will tell you that God most definitely loves you. The answer will probably be subtle, but if you ask enough times you'll start to see how consistent it is, helping you learn to recognize how the Spirit speaks to you.

-Kirito


0 Corrections
Question #88819 posted on 01/23/2017 11:34 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm an endowed church member who wears garments. Ever since I started wearing garments, I've showered in the morning, put on new garments and gone about my day. I'm considering showering in the evenings so I can have more time in the mornings to devote to other things. I'm wondering if any of you garment wearers shower at night, and if you put on fresh garments after you shower or after you wake up. Or do you have a pair just for sleeping in?

I'm a pretty sweaty lady, so I don't really want to put my old garments back on after showering, as it would negate the clean feeling of the shower. But I also worry that I would not feel clean in the morning after potentially sweating in my sleep, if I put on fresh garments right after showering.

Of course, experimenting for myself would probably make the most sense, but I'm starting a new job and need to make a good impression. So I thought I'd get your recommendations first.

-Drilux to the max

A:

Dear Lux 400,

I shower exclusively at night and put on clean garments before I go to bed.  If cleanliness is a deciding factor, it helps to change your sheets and pillowcases more often in order to help stay cleaner longer.

I don't think there's anything wrong with changing your garments twice a day if that's what makes you comfortable.  I personally don't do it because I really don't want to do laundry that often.

If you're sweating that much in your sleep, I would recommend keeping the room cooler, sleeping in just your garments, and/or sleeping with a sheet.  I don't know your situation, but some of these will obviously be easier to accomplish if you're married/live alone versus have a roommate to deal with. 

-April Ludgate

A:

Dear Reader,

Echoing the other writers, I only shower at night, and put on a new pair of garments directly after showering. However, I also know people who change their garments multiple times a day. If changing your garments twice a day--once after showering, and once after getting up--works for you, then go for it! If you don't want to go through that many pairs, then I like your idea of having some separate garments exclusively for sleeping that you could switch out a little less frequently.

~Anathema


0 Corrections
Question #88828 posted on 01/23/2017 11:32 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If there are multiple TAs in my class, can I ask the TAs that don't go to my recitation out on a date? The rule is you can't ask out your TA, but if they aren't my assigned TA, are they exempt from the rule? Thanks!

-Mr. Green

A:

Dear Verde,

Short Answer: No.

Slightly Longer Answer: There is some small variance per department, but when I became a TA, I was strictly told that going on any dates with students in the class I'm TA'ing for would result in the loss of my job. Even tutoring a student taking a different class from the same professor is discouraged. 

Really the best thing for you to do is just wait until the semester is over to ask your TA on a date.

~Anathema

P.S. As a TA, I'm a fan of Frère's first reason.

A:

Dear Everyone,

Thinking back on all of the years of "Can I date my TA?" questions, I am led to believe that at least one of the following conclusions must be true. Either:

-BYU professors only hire mad attractive TA's

or

-Everyone digs the idea of a "forbidden romance" but student/TA relationships are the only way that BYU students can get them.

-Frère Bemused


0 Corrections
Posted on 01/23/2017 6:28 a.m. New Correction on: #88786 I've just discovered I have a second personality. How do I kill him? -Hyde Dear 100 ...
Question #88830 posted on 01/23/2017 4:34 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My new housing contract at Wyview tells me that I will have "YR" parking privileges. Where in the world are those? Are they the same as the regular "Y" lots on campus? Is there some sort of nifty parking privilege code list you could link to? I've searched, but my quest has been fruitless.

Bonus question: Will I have an assigned Wyview parking spot for my married apartment, or is it a free-for-all?

-Happily Engaged and Even Happier I Won't Be Homeless

A:

Dear Not Homeless,

Here are your BYU Parking and Traffic Rules and Regulations!

On page 9, under "YR Registration" it reads:

 - Only available to students living in Wyview Park.
 - Valid in any “Y” lot.
 - Valid for overnight parking in Lot 45 ONLY. (west of the stadium)
 - Parking in Lot 45 will occasionally be limited or closed entirely, without prior notice, in order to accommodate football parking and other special events.

Bonus answer: The Community Guidelines page says, "Adequate parking is provided for one vehicle per apartment. Families parking more than one vehicle must use other parking areas away from the apartment buildings." So I assume there's a one spot provided for each apartment.

Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave


0 Corrections
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Question #88827 posted on 01/22/2017 11:40 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Hiiii. So Board Question #88631 has been chilling in my outbox since December 15. When will it be published?

-Not My Name Here

A:

Dear NMNH,

That's not even the oldest question we've got right now. I know it's frustrating. Trust me, I've been there; in fact, one of the older questions right now is mine.

Worry not, it will be answered soon. We get around to things eventually.

-A Writer


0 Corrections
Question #88826 posted on 01/22/2017 11:22 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is your review of the new Netflix Series "A Series of Unfortunate Events"?

-Violet Fiendish Dwarves

A:

Dear Violet,

I read A Series of Unfortunate Events as a kid and thought the books were great. I had high expectations when I heard they made it into a TV series, and overall, I was highly impressed.

A Series of Unfortunate Events is an interesting sort of story because so much of it isn't about the story at all. The books are quite literary with a strong narrative voice. It's sort of a postmodern anti-story, where nothing quite turns out, and the reader is repeatedly forced to believe in the blatantly unbelievable. I thought including Lemony Snicket as an on-screen narrator was an excellent choice that really captured the spirit of the books. Also, Neil Patrick Harris is incredible as Count Olaf. That was so much fun to watch.

I remember that the books would always tell you not to read them. That never really phased me. The series does the same thing, but this time more seriously, because for some reason seeing all the unfortunate events on screen is harder to bear. It's beautifully painful to watch at times, and so it's probably best not to binge the whole show at once. Despite that, I would highly recommend the series to anyone.

-Kirito


0 Corrections
Question #88821 posted on 01/22/2017 9:16 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

OH MY GOSH. I just had the scare of a lifetime. I've been trying to get into a certain section of a class with a fantastic professor that I really wanted to take the class from, but for quite a while it looked like no one was going to drop the class (because of the awesome professor). I ended up in a different section, which I liked, but not as much as the other one. However, today--Tuesday, the day of the add/drop deadline--a spot opened up. I got a code from the professor midday and added the class, which dropped me from the section I was currently in. However, due to the nature of this particular class, taking two different sections would be both fun and beneficial, and I ended up getting an audit code from the second professor. Best of both worlds, right? Except that apparently, when you audit a class, IT DROPS YOU FROM THE CLASS YOU'RE TAKING FOR CREDIT. So here I am, at 9:30 p.m., having dropped the section I really wanted and only auditing the alternative. Two credits short of the 14 I need to keep my scholarship. With very little chance of getting in contact with either professor in time. After sending off a frantic email, I looked up the professor online and found his contact information.

There was a phone number.

The zip code was for a cell phone.

And he answered the phone.

Miracles are for reals, guys. Do you have any crazy stories where things looked catastrophic, and against all odds, it worked out?

-Venting Relief

P.S. I can't believe that I can't audit the class and take the class for credit at the same time.

A:

Dear Luck,

My senior year of high school, I planned out my entire schedule to ensure that I would have the right classes to qualify for a certain scholarship. One day, I was walking with my parents, when they brought up the scholarship. Upon getting home, I checked up on it...and found out that I had just barely missed the application deadline. And then, against all the odds...I still didn't get the scholarship.

But there was this other time when I was taking a midterm, and while taking it, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. It was the first time anything like this had ever happened to me, and I felt absolutely horrible. After working for hours and hours...I completely failed the midterm.

I recall feeling the intense relief that comes from some unintentional mistake with terrible consequences being rectified against all odds at some point in time, but unfortunately the only experiences that come to mind are the ones I just related, which didn't exactly come with a sudden happy ending. However, they did both come with long term happy endings.

After getting the abysmal score back on that midterm, I spent a long time on the What If calculator on Learning Suite. While I was too scared to even try entering in other midterm scores, I found that if I did all the extra credit, I might be able to barely pass the class. When final grades came in at the end of the semester, I found that I had somehow gotten an A-. This experience definitely had much longer interim between the initial "catastrophe", and when things miraculously worked out, but it also had the most unexpected outcome of anything I've gone through.

~Anathema

A:

Dear you,

Regarding the section you wanted to audit, might you just be able to ask the professor if you can sit in on it? Or just... sit in anyways?

Just an idea.

Suerte, 

--Ardilla Feroz, checking in from Uruguay

A:

Dear friend,

Hey, that's good news! Glad to hear it worked out and good quick thinking on your part, that sounds terrifying. I agree with Ardilla Feroz about the auditing thing: if it's a medium-to-large sized class, just attend the class you wanted to audit anyways. Most likely, nobody will notice and you'll still get to learn from the professor.

This semester, I needed a certain prerequisite class in order to graduate on time but the only one that worked with my schedule had an eight person waitlist and a full class. When I came on the first day, several people were sitting on the floor. I was about number four on the waitlist and had little hopes of getting added and worried that this would mess up my plans.

By the second day of class, I felt like I had no chance to get into that class and was kicking myself for not signing up earlier, but I had a strong feeling to go to class anyways. Generally I'm not good at distinguishing a gut feeling from a really strong emotion, but I decided to go anyways. This time, nobody sat on the floor but there were several people absent from class who had signed up. That being said, I talked with the professor afterward and she said that because I had been the only person of the three above me to show up to the second day, I would be next on the list if anyone decided to drop. She didn't promise, however, that anyone would.

This gave me hope but also made me really nervous, as this was a required class for my major and people don't really drop it once they've signed up. Over the weekend I crossed my fingers that someone would decide they didn't want to be an English major anymore and drop the class. I also prayed a lot, even though that doesn't make much sense because why would you pray that someone else would drop a class necessary for their major? But then, on Friday night, I got an email from the professor with an add code so, hey! It worked out. Nearly gave me a heart attack, but it worked out.

-Van Goff


0 Corrections
Question #88822 posted on 01/22/2017 9:15 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How do you delete some messages in a conversation on Facebook? You used to be able to open a message between you and someone else and then you had the option the check boxes next to which messages you wanted to delete, but I can no longer find that option. Why does Facebook consistently make things more difficult?!

-Rejected in Regency

A:

Dear you,

For some reason I'll never really understand, Facebook has decided to make Messenger more functional on the mobile app than on the main website. You can still delete messages on mobile by holding down on the bubble and tapping delete. However, this only removes it from your view, and from what I can tell it doesn't change what anyone else sees.

-The Entomophagist


0 Corrections
Question #88767 posted on 01/22/2017 9:15 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My life has in most ways gone belly-up in the last few months with a lot of crazy and traumatic events - most of which took place in or are associated with my current home (I can't move for several months.)

I find that because of the memories and the depression, mornings are the hardest time and I wake up into a full-on panic attack. You know how right when you first wake up, that's one of the most vulnerable times of the day because you're not fully conscious and are mildly disoriented, and then everything comes flooding in at the same time. I end up sleeping in a lot because going back to sleep is the only way I've found to cope with it (I live alone), but I can't keep doing that. If I'm awake enough I just have to lay there giving myself a pep talk about how it's not real and everything is okay, but I could use some other advice if you've got it?

-snek

A:

Dear you,

This will depend a bit on how you experience panic attacks, but if you can, I would suggest trying to get straight into the shower. Showering is a fairly routine task, and if it gets to be too much, you can just sit or lie down and be fairly comfortable under the warm water. Plus, showering can help wake you up. 

-Zedability

A:

Dear friend,

I am so sorry that you're going through this. Panic attacks are the worst. Zedability has excellent advice about calming yourself down. Here are a few other ideas you might try to help:

  • Breathing techniques. Sometimes practicing breathing techniques can help in getting through a panic attack. Counting works, too. Anything that distracts your thoughts from what's giving you anxiety to something else you can put all your focus on. If you can't focus on a breathing technique or you think more visually, this gif is cool because you can time your breathing to it.

  • If possible, could you talk to a close friend? This might not be helpful since you mentioned a traumatic event and you might not be comfortable talking to someone about that (and you may not want to call someone if it's earlier in the morning), but if you know someone you trust enough, they might be able to remind you that it'll pass and get your mind on something else.

  • I read that sometimes actions that stimulate your senses, like holding an ice cube, focusing on sounds/objects around you, or smelling a really strong perfume, can help mitigate the intensity of panic attacks and help you move your thoughts back to the present.

Hope you feel better in time and sorry you don't feel better right now. If this is a recurring concern in your life, you might want to talk to a counselor to work through the emotions behind it or figure out coping strategies for panic attacks. If any readers have experience or advice to add in a correction, it would be appreciated.

-Van Goff


0 Corrections
Posted on 01/22/2017 9:14 p.m. New Correction on: #88778 Yeah, i'm a gay male, but that is just tangentially related. I'm finally ok with my ...
Question #88778 posted on 01/22/2017 3:46 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Yeah, i'm a gay male, but that is just tangentially related. I'm finally ok with my orientation from a mormon view. It is what it is. I don't freak out when i see a hot guy or whatever.

But i still don't know how to deal with crushes on friends, specifically straight friends.

I have crushed hard on lots of friends over the years. I try not to obsess, but i find my thoughts at least obsessing over them. then my actions, then i decide i need to stop. but then i start getting anxious around them.

Now i'm not talking about stalker type behavior. other than facebook stalking,

but i don't want my friends to get too weirded out by me. I don't want them to wonder if i am going to try to be physical with them.... but i do want that.


what do i do? i don't want to run from every friendship with a guy i'm attracted to. But how do i balance it and keep it in the realm of normal behavior and minimize my longing for them.

-confirmed bachelor

A:

Dear Reader,

I'm afraid I don't have a good answer for you.

I know how not to be controlled by emotion, but I don't know how to totally control my emotions. Meaning that I don't know how to make myself not like another person in a certain way, even at the expense of their friendship. But just because I don't have an answer for you doesn't mean that one doesn't exist. I believe that you will ultimately be able to find a balance that engenders friendship. 

In the meantime, don't shy away from other people even if you are attracted to them. Perhaps the only way you'll be able to find an answer to your question will be through experience. 

As this is such an emotionally complex issue, my final piece of advice for you is to consider going to a therapist. Personally, seeing a therapist has helped me immensely in better understanding how to form connections and relationships with other people, and that leads me to think it could be beneficial for you as well.

~Anathema


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