Dear 100 Hour Board,
I have a super hard, super long question to ask, but here goes.
I have this friend, who is amazing. During the summer, we aren't in the same state. She has been through a lot in her life, and serves as semi- psychiatrist/counselor to people she meets who have undergone things like abuse, like I did. She never tries to fill in for a professional, but serves as an intermediary, helping people transition to seeing a full-time counselor. It's a lot easier to talk to a very wise friend with some training as a friend than it is to see a counselor, and it helps to start somewhere, but she always encourages people to get "real" help.
She has this friend. He was sexually abused at some point in time, and he needs a lot of help. I feel really bad for this young man, because I know what that's like. However, he refuses to even admit that he has a problem, and on some days he pretends like nothing ever even happened and he doesn't know what she's talking about, which is really sad. Except recently, it's been becoming a lot less sad and a lot more....scary.
One night, she was over at his place just talking, and as she went to leave, she went to give him a goodbye hug, and he was so out of control and in a bad place that he reacted like she was attacking him.
He assaulted her. Not badly enough that she has serious bruises or anything, but he definitely tackled her to the ground, and she was terrified and left right away. The next few times she's seen him, he keeps trying to act like everything's OK, and acts like he doesn't know what she's talking about - like he doesn't even remember.
She isn't going to call the police, because she's been friends with him for a long time, and because she is getting serious spiritual promptings to stay the heck away from everything to do with him, which I think is a good plan. I sent him a text saying that if he didn't begin seeing a professional counselor IMMEDIATELY, which is free/cheap at our non-BYU university, I was going to have to call the cops for the safety of those around him. I really feel like I should- he's deteriorated so much even since I've known him, and he assaulted another person, and either doesn't or refuses to remember it! I feel super worried about everyone that he's around right now.
He let me know that he still refuses to see a counselor. If I put my money where my mouth (and heart!) is, I should report this to the police immediately, but I have some concerns......
-I'm not the one who was assaulted. Does this matter?
-There were no bruises and no witnesses, just her word against his, although she (a) put together a very detailed record, (b) went to see someone immediately after and told them, (c) had discussed her concerns about this young man with the bishop several months prior (with me as well). Will this even work?
-I'm not going to be in the same state as them for over a month. I know I can call their local police, but will I have to be available for anything? How much do local laws matter?
-Am I doing the right thing??!?!
-Between a rock and a REALLY hard place....